1. HERE'S YOUR COFFEE, SIR.
AH. THANK YOU, MARGARET.
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2. HEY, MARGE, CAN YOU GET ME
A LATTE WHILE YOU'RE UP?
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3. PLEASE AND THANKS.
OF COURSE.
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4. NOW, I THINK YOU ALL KNOW
THAT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU
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5. IS AN IMPORTANT PART
OF THIS TEAM.
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6. WHICH IS WHY
THIS LAST ANNOUNCEMENT
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7. IS FOR EVERYBODY HERE.
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8. CHANNEL 6 IS LOOKING FOR
A FRESH, EDGY NEWS SEGMENT,
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9. SOMETHING
WITH "WOW" FACTOR,
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10. SOMETHING THAT SCREAMS
WEEKLY.
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11. NOW, AS I SAID, THIS AUDITION
IS OPEN TO EVERYONE.
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12. JUST, UH, GIVE US YOUR FOOTAGE
IN THE NEXT THREE DAYS,
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13. AND THE PERSON WE CHOOSE
GETS THEIR OWN WEEKLY SEGMENT!
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14. HERE'S YOUR LATTE.
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15. OH, LIFE-SAVER.
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16. WELL, FRANK,
CHOPPER 6 HAS BEEN FUN,
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17. BUT IT MIGHT BE
JACKIE'S TIME TO SHINE.
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18. I AM GUNNING FOR
THAT WEEKLY NEWS SEGMENT.
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19. I MEAN
I'M CERTAINLY DESERVING OF IT,
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20. SEEING HOW I HAVE NEVER MISSED
A DAY OF WORK,
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21. NOT TO MENTION
THE TRAFFIC-Y AWARD I WON.
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22. WELL, I THINK MARGARET
WOULD HAVE A SHOT
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23. IF SHE TRIED OUT.
WHAT?
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24. NO, I HAVEN'T EVEN
BEEN HERE THAT LONG.
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25. I MEAN,
IT WOULD BE AMAZING.
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26. BUT THERE'S NO WAY
I'M READY.
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27. YOU THINK I WAS READY
WHEN I STEPPED ON CHOPPER 6
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28. FOR THE FIRST TIME?
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29. I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE
MY PILOT'S LICENSE,
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30. OR MY CONTACT LENSES,
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31. BUT I FLEW HER ANYWAY.
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32. DON'T STOP YOURSELF
FROM PURSUING YOUR DREAMS.
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33. WELL, I REALLY WOULD LIKE
THAT SEGMENT.
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34. WHAT'S THE HARM
IN TRYING?
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35. THAT'S MY GIRL!
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36. BUT YOU HAVE YOUR LICENSE NOW,
RIGHT?
LET'S GO HOME.
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37. WELL, THERE COULD BE
PLENTY HARM IN TRYING.
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38. FRANK, FRANK?
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39. OKAY, SO THEY'RE LOOKING
FOR SOMETHING
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40. WITH A "WOW" FACTOR.
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41. YOU GUYS HAVE ANY IDEAS
THAT ARE, LIKE, "WOW!"?
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42. MAYBE GO CEREBRAL,
LIKE WITH A THINK PIECE.
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43. MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE,
"HMM," YOU KNOW?
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44. 'KAY.
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45. WHAT ELSE MAKES YOU GUYS
WANT TO WATCH THE NEWS?
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46. THE CAR CHASES!
YEAH.
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47. AND, THEN,
WHEN THE COPS ARE ALL LIKE...
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48. "OUT OF THE CAR, DIRTBAG!"
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49. YEAH, DIRTBAGS —
THAT'S IT!
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50. I'LL GO UNDERCOVER
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51. TO CATCH ALL OF THE DIRTBAGS
AROUND THE CITY.
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52. UNDERCOVER REPORTER?
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53. YEAH, LIKE WITH DISGUISES
AND HIDDEN CAMERAS.
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54. I WANT MY SEGMENT
TO REALLY HELP PEOPLE, YOU KNOW?
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55. I'LL CALL IT "MARGARET ALWAYS
MAR-GETS THE BAD GUY."
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56. I'M NOT LOVING THE NAME,
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57. BUT I LOVE SEEING
THAT FIRE IN YOU, ANGEL.
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58. SAY, FRANK,
LAST TIME I CHECKED,
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59. THE MORTALITY RATES FOR
UNDERCOVER REPORTERS
WAS, UH, PRETTY HIGH.
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60. YOU SURE YOU WANT TO
SEND YOUR LITTLE ANGEL
OUT INTO THAT MESS?
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61. IT MAY BE A LITTLE DANGEROUS,
BUT I BELIEVE IN MARGARET.
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62. YOU KNOW, THE STATION HAS
AN ANONYMOUS-TIP HOTLINE.
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63. I THINK THAT WILL GIVE YOU
A LEG UP ON YOUR STORY.
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64. YEAH, THAT HOTLINE
GAVE ME A GOOD TIP
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65. ON STEROID USE
IN THAT CURLING CHAMPIONSHIP.
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66. IT GETS
THE DEL SEAL OF APPROVAL.
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67. OH, DEL,
YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN.
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68. COME ON, RING.
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69. "ANY TIPS YET?"
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70. WHOA!
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71. HELLO?
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72. I've got a lead for you.
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73. Meet me
at the parking lot
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74. on the corner
of Elm and Highland.
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75. I'LL BE THERE.
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76. UH, ARE YOU —
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77. YOU EVER HEARD
OF CHEEZER'S?
UH, YEAH.
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78. THIS IS A CORPORATE E-MAIL
STRAIGHT FROM THE TOP.
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79. YOU EVER HEARD OF
A VEGETARIAN SANDWICH
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80. WITH MEAT IN IT?
WHAT?
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81. THE CHEESE
HAS BEEN COMPROMISED.
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82. CAN I HELP WHO'S NEXT?
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83. OH, HELLO,
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84. YOU WHIPPERSNAPPER.
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85. I HOPE YOU TAKE
SENIOR DISCOUNTS HERE,
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86. SEEING AS I AM ONE.
OH, WE DO, MA'AM.
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87. I CAN'T WAIT TO EAT ONE OF
THOSE VEGETARIAN SANDWICHES.
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88. SAY, YOU HAVEN'T STARTED
PUTTING MEAT IN THOSE,
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89. HAVE YOU?
OH, UH, NO, MA'AM.
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90. HAT'S FUNNY,
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91. 'CAUSE THIS SAYS DIFFERENTLY.
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92. MARGARET ALWAYS MAR-GETS
THE BAD GUY.
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93. DO YOU WANT TO ADD
SOME JALAPEÑO ZINGERS
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94. AND MAKE IT A MEAL?
WHAT? NO!
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95. THIS IS THE NEWS!
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96. I GOT YOU! YOU GOT GOT!
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97. HEY, LET ME SEE THIS.
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98. OH, YOU SHOULD
CHECK YOUR SOURCES, LADY.
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99. THIS IS
A PRETTY OLD CAMPAIGN.
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100. SEE?
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101. "CHEEZER'S
USES GRADE-A MEAT...
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102. LESS PRODUCTS!"
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103. I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU FELL FOR THAT!
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104. NEXT.
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105. THAT WAS SO EMBARRASSING.
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106. I'LL HAVE TO GO TO THAT
CHEEZER'S ACROSS TOWN NOW.
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107. HELLO?
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108. It's me.
YOU!
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109. THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
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110. YOUR LAST TIP WAS A BUST.
CHEEZER'S WAS CLEAN.
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111. That's what
they want you to think.
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112. Anyway,
forget about Cheezer's.
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113. I've got something better.
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114. Tomorrow at 10:00.
You know where to find me.
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115. HELLO? WHERE ARE YOU?
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116. OVER HERE.
IN THIS DUMPSTER?
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117. NO. THE OTHER DUMPSTER.
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118. AH. EVER HEARD OF,
UH, GAMBLING?
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119. YES.
WELL,
WORD ON THE STREET IS
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120. IS THAT
THE LOCAL PARK MANAGER
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121. IS USING TAXPAYER MONEY
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122. TO RUN A GAMBLING RING
INSIDE THE PARK.
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123. OKAY, NOW YOU'RE DEFINITELY
WRONG.
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124. I KNOW THOSE GUYS,
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125. AND THERE'S NO WAY
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126. THEY'RE RUNNING
A GAMBLING RING.
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127. I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
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128. WELL,
MAYBE YOU'LL BELIEVE THIS.
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129. FOLLOW THE MONEY.
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130. YEAH, THIS ONE IS
THE BEST GAMBLER IN TOWN.
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131. NICE.
HOW MUCH DID HE RUN YA.
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132. COUPLE HUNDRED,
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133. BUT I GOT
SOMETHING OUT OF IT.
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134. READ 'EM AND WEEP.
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135. HO, HO, HO!
DOES HE COUNT CARDS?
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136. DOES A FULL HOUSE
BEAT A STRAIGHT?
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137. HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,
SWINDLERS!
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138. HUH?
HUH?
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139. MARGARET ALWAYS MAR-GETS
THE BAD GUY.
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140. MARGARET?
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141. IS THAT SOME SORT
OF BAD CATCHPHRASE
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142. I'M NOT FAMILIAR WITH?
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143. I DIDN'T
WANT TO BELIEVE IT,
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144. BUT YOU TWO ARE RUNNING
AN ILLEGAL GAMBLING RING
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145. ON TAXPAYER MONEY.
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146. THIS MONEY IS JUST
THE REBATE I GOT
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147. FROM BUYING "THE GAMBLER,"
OUR BRAND NEW LAWNMOWER.
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148. BUT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT
COUNTING CARDS.
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149. YEAH,
EMPLOYEE I.D. CARDS.
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150. ONE.
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151. NO KEYS.
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152. WELL, YOU'RE
NOT GETTING AROUND THIS ONE.
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153. EXPLAIN THIS PICTURE.
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154. OH, THAT'S FROM OUR
COMMUNITY CASINO NIGHT.
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155. WHY'D WE STOP
DOING THAT AGAIN?
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156. FINE!
YOU'RE NOT GAMBLERS.
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157. I WAS WRONG AGAIN!
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158. WE COULD HAVE
TOLD YOU THE PARK DOESN'T
HAVE A GAMBLING RING.
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159. I KNOW. I JUST WANTED
THE SEGMENT SO BADLY,
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160. I TALKED MYSELF INTO
BELIEVING THAT TIP.
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161. NOW WHAT DO I DO?
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162. MAYBE YOU COULD DO
A SIMPLER SEGMENT,
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163. LIKE A COOKING SHOW.
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164. YOU MAKE
A MEAN POUND CAKE.
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165. HE SAID
THEY WANTED "WOW" FACTOR,
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166. NOT "HMM" FACTOR.
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167. IT'S THE TIPSTER.
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168. THIS IS WEIRD.
HE'S NEVER TEXTED ME BEFORE.
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169. GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.
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170. I GOT A REAL GOOD ONE
THIS TIME.
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171. EVER HEARD OF COFFEE?
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172. YES. I'VE HEARD OF COFFEE.
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173. WELL, THEN, MAYBE YOU'VE
HEARD OF THIS COFFEE SHOP.
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174. THEY'RE NOT SERVING
REAL COFFEE.
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175. ALL THEY BREW ARE LIES.
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176. WOW.
THAT'S YOUR HOP TIP?
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177. IF YOU GO IN THERE
AND ORDER A LATTE,
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178. I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND —
A LATTE?
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179. I'VE WORKED THERE BEFORE,
AND NOBODY ORDERS LATTES.
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180. WHAT'S YOUR GAME?
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181. IF YOU DON'T WANT MY TIP,
THAT'S FINE.
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182. I'VE GOT A LOT MORE PEOPLE
TO TIP OFF.
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183. I'M JUST A REGULAR,
ANONYMOUS...
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184. TIPSTER.
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185. WAIT! SAY THAT AGAIN.
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186. UH, NO, I WON'T.
SCRAM!
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187. JACKIE CARMICHAEL!
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188. THINK I'M GONNA LET YOU
WALTZ RIGHT IN
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189. AND TAKE THAT WEEKLY SEGMENT
OUT FROM UNDER ME?
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190. I WON AN AWARD ONCE.
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191. I'M NOT LOSING OUT
TO FRANK'S LITTLE GIRL.
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192. I THOUGHT SOMETHING
WAS WEIRD ABOUT YOU,
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193. WHICH IS WHY I RECORDED
EVERYTHING ON HIDDEN CAMERA.
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194. ONCE I UPLOAD
THIS FOOTAGE
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195. TO THE NEWS STATION'S
HARD DRIVE,
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196. IT'S GAME OVER FOR YOU.
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197. FLOOR IT!
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198. I'LL SHOW YOU
WHO DRINKS LATTES!
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199. THIS IS BAD! JACKIE'S
NOT GONNA LET US GET
TO THE STATION ALIVE.
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200. WE JUST GOT TO GIVE THIS FOOTAGE
TO THE STATION.
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201. IT'S UPLOADING NOW.
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202. YOU DON'T KNOW
WHO YOU'RE MESSING WITH!
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203. I EARNED THAT SEGMENT!
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204. JUST KEEP THE VAN STEADY.
I'M GOING LIVE.
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205. MR. SAMUELSON,
PLEASE, DON'T CUT ME OFF.
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206. WHAT THE —
I KNOW THIS IS WEIRD,
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207. BUT TRUST ME,
THERE'S A STORY HERE.
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208. SHOULD I CUT HER FEED?
NO, UH, WAIT.
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209. SEE WHERE
SHE'S GOING WITH THIS.
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210. WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST
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211. FOR SOME BREAKING NEWS.
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212. CHANNEL 6 NEWS REPORTER
JACKIE CARMICHAEL
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213. IS CURRENTLY ENGAGED
IN A HIGH-SPEED CHASE WITH ME.
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214. WHAT?
I AM BEING PURSUED
BY MS. CARMICHAEL
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215. BECAUSE I AM IN POSSESSION
OF EVIDENCE
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216. THAT WOULD NO DOUBT
RUIN HER CAREER.
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217. I'VE ALWAYS DREAMT
OF BECOMING A REPORTER
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218. BECAUSE THE NEWS
INFORMED PEOPLE.
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219. IT HELPED PEOPLE.
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220. A REPORTER'S DUTY
IS TO DELIVER THE TRUTH,
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221. NOT TWIST IT
FOR THEIR PERSONAL GAIN.
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222. THAT'S WHY
I'M RISKING EVERYTHING
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223. TO SHOW PEOPLE THE TRUTH.
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224. HANG ON, SWEETIE.
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225. WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE
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226. IS ACTUAL VIDEO FOOTAGE
OF JACKIE CARMICHAEL
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227. GIVING FALSE EVIDENCE
AND TWISTING THE TRUTH,
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228. ALL TO GET HER OWN
WEEKLY NEWS SEGMENT.
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229. SHE'S ON THE ROOF! AAH!
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230. I AM CURRENTLY
BEING TOSSED BACK AND FORTH!
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231. LET'S CHECK IN WITH THE DRIVER
TO SEE HOW THINGS ARE GOING.
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232. IT'S OKAY.
I THINK WE SHOOK HER.
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233. OH! AAH!
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234. OH, MY GOSH, OH, MY GOSH,
OH, MY GOSH!
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235. OH, MAN!
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236. HEY, JACKIE, REPORT THIS!
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237. IF MARGARET SURVIVES THIS,
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238. SHE IS GETTING
HER OWN SEGMENT!
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239. YOU, YOU'RE —
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240. AN AWARD-WINNING REPORTER
AND ROBOT FROM THE FUTURE.
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241. YES. YES, I AM.
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242. I WAS SENT HERE TO INFILTRATE
AND DESTROY LOCAL NEWS!
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243. IN MY TIME,
IT IS THE ONE BLEMISH
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244. ON OUR UTOPIAN SOCIETY.
A BLEMISH?
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245. THE LOCAL NEWS PROVIDES
AN IMPORTANT SERVICE
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246. TO THE CITIZENS
OF EVERY CITY.
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247. OH, YOU DON'T BELIEVE
THAT TRIPE, DO YOU?
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248. THE NEWS IS MOSTLY JUST PEOPLE
READING THE INTERNET ALOUD.
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249. IT IS HOLDING
HUMANITY BACK.
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250. IF YOU'LL JUST
GIVE ME THE FOOTAGE,
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251. IT'LL BE LIKE
THIS NEVER HAPPENED.
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252. HELP ME COMPLETE MY MISSION,
MARGARET.
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253. HELP ME DESTROY LOCAL NEWS
AND ENTER AN AGE OF PROSPERITY.
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254. HERE. TAKE IT.
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255. YOU'VE DONE THE RIGHT THING,
MARGARET.
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256. MARGARET?
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257. YOU KNOW, JACKIE,
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258. MARGARET ALWAYS MAR-GETS
THE BAD GUY.
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259. I'M STILL
NOT LOVING THAT NAME.
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260. HUH? NO!
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261. DIRTBAGS! DIRTBAGS! DIRTBAGS!
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262. GO, MARGARET! WHOO!
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263. - THUMBS-UP, MARGARET.
- WE GOT A SEGMENT!
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264. WE USED TO DATE.
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265. I DIDN'T KNOW CHOPPER 6
HAD MISSILES.
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266. WELL,
WE ONLY HAD THE ONE,
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267. JUST IN CASE SOMETHING
LIKE THIS MIGHT HAPPEN.
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268. ANYWAY, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU,
HONEY.
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269. ALSO, DID YOU KNOW
THAT JACKIE WAS A ROBOT?
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270. I DIDN'T.
I REALLY DID NOT.
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271. WELL, YOU DID GREAT.
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272. SURE, THAT CAMERAMAN DIED
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273. AND THERE WAS MILLIONS
OF DOLLARS OF DAMAGE
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274. DONE TO THE HIGHWAY,
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275. BUT YOU PROVED THAT LOCAL NEWS
IS PRETTY NEAT.
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