Regular Show 5x33

1. At my house tonight? muscle man: Can't. Me and fives are taking our

2. muscle man: Can't. Me and fives are taking our ladies to see some mexican

3. Me and fives are taking our ladies to see some mexican wrestling.

4. Ladies to see some mexican wrestling. hi five: Mucho romantico.

5. Wrestling. hi five: Mucho romantico. Audrey and I are

6. hi five: Mucho romantico. Audrey and I are going to a jazz concert.

7. Audrey and I are going to a jazz concert. I got plans with

8. Going to a jazz concert. I got plans with eileen.

9. I got plans with eileen. Oooooooooooooooh!

10. Eileen. Oooooooooooooooh! Friend plans.

11. Oooooooooooooooh! Friend plans. She wants to show me her new

12. Friend plans. She wants to show me her new rock polisher.

13. She wants to show me her new rock polisher. muscle man: You know who else

14. Rock polisher. muscle man: You know who else likes to polish people's rocks?

15. muscle man: You know who else likes to polish people's rocks? Mordecai?

16. Likes to polish people's rocks? Mordecai? Aw, I would, but

17. Mordecai? Aw, I would, but c.J. And I are going to a

18. Aw, I would, but c.J. And I are going to a laser light show tonight.

19. C.J. And I are going to a laser light show tonight. But you can totally come

20. Laser light show tonight. But you can totally come with us.

21. But you can totally come with us. Ah, no. That's okay.

22. With us. Ah, no. That's okay. I got some other guys coming

23. Ah, no. That's okay. I got some other guys coming over.

24. I got some other guys coming over. In fact, I better get going.

25. Over. In fact, I better get going. Uh, have fun, everyone.

26. In fact, I better get going. Uh, have fun, everyone. All right. See ya.

27. baby, I don't know where I'd be today if I hadn't met you. probably home alone watching

28. Be today if I hadn't met you. probably home alone watching a romantic comedy in the dark.

29. probably home alone watching a romantic comedy in the dark.

30. A romantic comedy in the dark.

31. How was the laser

32. How was the laser show?

33. How was the laser show? Did you put your arm around

34. Show? Did you put your arm around c.J.?

35. Did you put your arm around c.J.? Did you put your

36. C.J.? Did you put your arm around eileen's rock

37. Did you put your arm around eileen's rock polisher?

38. Arm around eileen's rock polisher? Stop talking!

39. Polisher? Stop talking! Wait. Skips?

40. Stop talking! Wait. Skips? You okay, man?

41. Wait. Skips? You okay, man? Yeah.

42. You okay, man? Yeah. No!

43. Yeah. No! I've been skipping solo for too

44. No! I've been skipping solo for too long now.

45. I've been skipping solo for too long now. I need to start dating again.

46. Long now. I need to start dating again. Skips, gettin' back in

47. I need to start dating again. Skips, gettin' back in the saddle!

48. Skips, gettin' back in the saddle! I guess.

49. The saddle! I guess. It's been so long, I don't even

50. I guess. It's been so long, I don't even know where to start.

51. It's been so long, I don't even know where to start. Ah, it can't be

52. Know where to start. Ah, it can't be that bad.

53. Ah, it can't be that bad. How long's it been?

54. That bad. How long's it been? 200 years.

55. How long's it been? 200 years. Whoa!

56. 200 years. Whoa! Well, better now

57. Whoa! Well, better now than never.

58. Well, better now than never. You just got to get out there.

59. Than never. You just got to get out there. What you need are some

60. You just got to get out there. What you need are some wingmen.

61. What you need are some wingmen. Wingmen?

62. Wingmen. Wingmen? You know — your

63. Wingmen? You know — your co-pilots, your bros, the ones

64. You know — your co-pilots, your bros, the ones who got your back while you're

65. Co-pilots, your bros, the ones who got your back while you're looking for ladies.

66. Who got your back while you're looking for ladies.

67. Looking for ladies.

68. it's me.

69. it's me. I need some wingmen.

70. It's me. I need some wingmen. I've been waiting 200 years

71. I need some wingmen. I've been waiting 200 years to hear you say that.

72. I've been waiting 200 years to hear you say that.

73. To hear you say that.

74. So, uh, what happens

75. So, uh, what happens now?

76. So, uh, what happens now? Do we just sit here and wait

77. Now? Do we just sit here and wait till they come talk to us?

78. Do we just sit here and wait till they come talk to us? waiting doesn't get you the

79. Till they come talk to us? waiting doesn't get you the ladies, skips.

80. waiting doesn't get you the ladies, skips. watch and learn.

81. Ladies, skips. watch and learn. excuse me, ladies.

82. watch and learn. excuse me, ladies. Perhaps you could settle a bet.

83. excuse me, ladies. Perhaps you could settle a bet. Which one of us do you think is

84. Perhaps you could settle a bet. Which one of us do you think is older?

85. Which one of us do you think is older? I don't know.

86. Older? I don't know. neither.

87. I don't know. neither. We're both immortal.

88. neither. We're both immortal.

89. We're both immortal. plus we're magic.

90. plus we're magic. whoa!

91. Plus we're magic. whoa!

92. whoa! ooh. Check it out.

93. ooh. Check it out. Fly honeys giving us eye

94. ooh. Check it out. Fly honeys giving us eye contact.

95. Fly honeys giving us eye contact. Excuse me.

96. Contact. Excuse me. Are you a parking ticket?

97. Excuse me. Are you a parking ticket? 'cause you got "fine" written

98. Are you a parking ticket? 'cause you got "fine" written all over you.

99. 'cause you got "fine" written all over you.

100. All over you. we are fine.

101. we are fine. hey, that's a nice outfit you

102. we are fine. hey, that's a nice outfit you have on there.

103. hey, that's a nice outfit you have on there. Uh, yeah.

104. Have on there. Uh, yeah. Uh, I like it a lot.

105. Uh, yeah. Uh, I like it a lot. what do you like about it?

106. Uh, I like it a lot. what do you like about it? Oh, uh, it looks

107. what do you like about it? Oh, uh, it looks comfortable, like, uh...

108. Oh, uh, it looks comfortable, like, uh... Like my friend's diaper.

109. Comfortable, like, uh... Like my friend's diaper. my dress looks like a

110. Like my friend's diaper. my dress looks like a diaper?

111. my dress looks like a diaper? He just said I'm wearing a

112. Diaper? He just said I'm wearing a diaper!

113. He just said I'm wearing a diaper!

114. we'll try again next week, skips. Who wants to see a supernova?

115. Skips. Who wants to see a supernova?

116. Who wants to see a supernova? and, by the way, it's not a

117. and, by the way, it's not a diaper!

118. and, by the way, it's not a diaper! They're adult diapers!

119. Diaper! They're adult diapers! There's a difference!

120. They're adult diapers! There's a difference!

121. There's a difference! Hey, skips.

122. Hey, skips. Meet any fine females

123. Hey, skips. Meet any fine females tonight?

124. Meet any fine females tonight? I'm just not cut out

125. Tonight? I'm just not cut out for the whole club scene.

126. I'm just not cut out for the whole club scene. Dude, nobody meets

127. For the whole club scene. Dude, nobody meets anybody at clubs anymore.

128. Dude, nobody meets anybody at clubs anymore. Yeah.

129. Anybody at clubs anymore. Yeah. There's an option for people

130. Yeah. There's an option for people like you who make terrible first

131. There's an option for people like you who make terrible first impressions.

132. Like you who make terrible first impressions. The internet!

133. Impressions. The internet! All right.

134. The internet! All right. We got to fill in your profile.

135. All right. We got to fill in your profile. Profession?

136. We got to fill in your profile. Profession? Park groundskeeper.

137. Profession? Park groundskeeper. Ah, ah, ah.

138. Park groundskeeper. Ah, ah, ah. "environmental technologist."

139. Ah, ah, ah. "environmental technologist." Hobbies?

140. "environmental technologist." Hobbies? I'm good at fixing

141. Hobbies? I'm good at fixing stuff.

142. I'm good at fixing stuff. Mechanical whiz who

143. Stuff. Mechanical whiz who can fix anything — busted

144. Mechanical whiz who can fix anything — busted engines, broken hearts, whatever

145. Can fix anything — busted engines, broken hearts, whatever you got.

146. Engines, broken hearts, whatever you got. You've traveled all

147. You got. You've traveled all over the world.

148. You've traveled all over the world. Girls like a guy who's cultured.

149. Over the world. Girls like a guy who's cultured. Fought monsters with a

150. Girls like a guy who's cultured. Fought monsters with a ninja sword, arm-wrestled death,

151. Fought monsters with a ninja sword, arm-wrestled death, and, also, you love kittens, to

152. Ninja sword, arm-wrestled death, and, also, you love kittens, to show your softer side.

153. And, also, you love kittens, to show your softer side. And... Done.

154. Show your softer side. And... Done. Now what do we do?

155. And... Done. Now what do we do? Sit back and let

156. Now what do we do? Sit back and let the ladies come to you.

157. Sit back and let the ladies come to you. How long's it

158. The ladies come to you. How long's it gonna take?

159. How long's it gonna take? I don't know.

160. Gonna take? I don't know. It could be a while.

161. I don't know. It could be a while. Whoa! Look at that!

162. It could be a while. Whoa! Look at that! You've already got 85,000 views!

163. Whoa! Look at that! You've already got 85,000 views! Dude, you're on the

164. You've already got 85,000 views! Dude, you're on the front page of the website!

165. Dude, you're on the front page of the website! Based on your top-rated profile,

166. Front page of the website! Based on your top-rated profile, you've been selected to be a

167. Based on your top-rated profile, you've been selected to be a contestant on the hit dating

168. You've been selected to be a contestant on the hit dating show "it's a date!"

169. Contestant on the hit dating show "it's a date!" What?

170. Show "it's a date!" What? Aw, man.

171. What? Aw, man. You'll meet someone now for

172. Aw, man. You'll meet someone now for sure!

173. You'll meet someone now for sure! Up high!

174. Sure! Up high! I can't go on a dating

175. Up high! I can't go on a dating show.

176. I can't go on a dating show. I'm not that kind of guy.

177. Show. I'm not that kind of guy. Would you rather be

178. I'm not that kind of guy. Would you rather be the kind of guy who spends the

179. Would you rather be the kind of guy who spends the next 200 years shuffling

180. The kind of guy who spends the next 200 years shuffling his cards?

181. Next 200 years shuffling his cards? Eh —

182. His cards? Eh —

183. Lookin' good, skips. I don't know.

184. Skips. I don't know. These pants are a little tight.

185. I don't know. These pants are a little tight. You want to look cool,

186. These pants are a little tight. You want to look cool, right?

187. You want to look cool, right? yes.

188. Right? yes. It's getting late.

189. yes. It's getting late. We got to get you prepped for

190. It's getting late. We got to get you prepped for the questions on the show

191. We got to get you prepped for the questions on the show tonight.

192. The questions on the show tonight. What questions?

193. Tonight. What questions? Dude, the ladies ask

194. What questions? Dude, the ladies ask you questions, and you impress

195. Dude, the ladies ask you questions, and you impress them with your slick responses.

196. You questions, and you impress them with your slick responses. Here. Let's run

197. Them with your slick responses. Here. Let's run through a practice round.

198. Here. Let's run through a practice round. "if you were trapped on a desert

199. Through a practice round. "if you were trapped on a desert island with just one thing, what

200. "if you were trapped on a desert island with just one thing, what would it be?"

201. Island with just one thing, what would it be?" Boom! Go.

202. Would it be?" Boom! Go. That's easy — fresh

203. Boom! Go. That's easy — fresh water.

204. That's easy — fresh water.

205. Water. wrong!

206. wrong! You got to say something cool,

207. Wrong! You got to say something cool, like "all I need is your deep

208. You got to say something cool, like "all I need is your deep blue eyes to look into."

209. Like "all I need is your deep blue eyes to look into." cheese it up!

210. Blue eyes to look into." cheese it up! Make 'em laugh.

211. Cheese it up! Make 'em laugh. It's not hard.

212. Make 'em laugh. It's not hard. How do you know?

213. It's not hard. How do you know? 'cause I've seen every

214. How do you know? 'cause I've seen every episode of "it's a date!"

215. 'cause I've seen every episode of "it's a date!" what?

216. Episode of "it's a date!" what? I've had a lot of spare time

217. What? I've had a lot of spare time since mordecai started dating

218. I've had a lot of spare time since mordecai started dating c.J.

219. Since mordecai started dating c.J. If you're so good at

220. C.J. If you're so good at this, why don't you do it?

221. If you're so good at this, why don't you do it? I would if I could.

222. This, why don't you do it? I would if I could. Oh!

223. I would if I could. Oh! So, you admit that you can't.

224. Oh! So, you admit that you can't. No! It's just that I

225. So, you admit that you can't. No! It's just that I don't have the right look or

226. No! It's just that I don't have the right look or whatever, which has nothing to

227. Don't have the right look or whatever, which has nothing to do with me being cool with my

228. Whatever, which has nothing to do with me being cool with my words.

229. Do with me being cool with my words. Well, I'm not a word

230. Words. Well, I'm not a word guy, okay?

231. Well, I'm not a word guy, okay? Hm-hm-hm!

232. Guy, okay? Hm-hm-hm! I got an idea.

233. Hm-hm-hm! I got an idea. welcome to "it's a date!"

234. I got an idea. welcome to "it's a date!" let's give it up for your host,

235. welcome to "it's a date!" let's give it up for your host, bob karpett!

236. Let's give it up for your host, bob karpett!

237. Bob karpett! thank you. Thank you.

238. thank you. Thank you. Let's give a big, warm welcome

239. thank you. Thank you. Let's give a big, warm welcome to our bachelorette,

240. Let's give a big, warm welcome to our bachelorette, sheena albright!

241. To our bachelorette, sheena albright! Sheena is a molecular biologist

242. Sheena albright! Sheena is a molecular biologist who loves tennis, italian

243. Sheena is a molecular biologist who loves tennis, italian cuisine, and sloths.

244. Who loves tennis, italian cuisine, and sloths.

245. Cuisine, and sloths. now it's time to meet our three

246. now it's time to meet our three eligible bachelors!

247. Now it's time to meet our three eligible bachelors!

248. Eligible bachelors! bachelor number 1 is a hip-hop

249. bachelor number 1 is a hip-hop enthusiast.

250. Bachelor number 1 is a hip-hop enthusiast. Please welcome jimmy jamzz!

251. Enthusiast. Please welcome jimmy jamzz! yo, yo, yo!

252. Please welcome jimmy jamzz! yo, yo, yo! What's peepin', sheena?

253. yo, yo, yo! What's peepin', sheena? yo!

254. What's peepin', sheena? yo! bachelor number 2 runs his

255. yo! bachelor number 2 runs his own t-shirt business.

256. bachelor number 2 runs his own t-shirt business. Say hello to the t-shirt man.

257. Own t-shirt business. Say hello to the t-shirt man. buy my t-shirts!

258. Say hello to the t-shirt man. buy my t-shirts! hi!

259. buy my t-shirts! hi! and bachelor number 3 is a

260. hi! and bachelor number 3 is a ventriloquist.

261. and bachelor number 3 is a ventriloquist. Say hello to skips and his

262. Ventriloquist. Say hello to skips and his dummy, lil' rigs!

263. Say hello to skips and his dummy, lil' rigs! Hey!

264. Dummy, lil' rigs! Hey! What's shakin', dollface?

265. Hey! What's shakin', dollface? Hold on tight, strap yourself

266. What's shakin', dollface? Hold on tight, strap yourself in, 'cause a date with me will

267. Hold on tight, strap yourself in, 'cause a date with me will make your head spin!

268. In, 'cause a date with me will make your head spin!

269. Make your head spin! all right, sheena.

270. all right, sheena. It's time for your first

271. all right, sheena. It's time for your first question for our bachelors.

272. It's time for your first question for our bachelors. "if we went out on a date,

273. Question for our bachelors. "if we went out on a date, where would you take me?"

274. "if we went out on a date, where would you take me?" bachelor number 1.

275. Where would you take me?" bachelor number 1. girl, I'd take you to the

276. Bachelor number 1. girl, I'd take you to the hoppingest dance club in town,

277. girl, I'd take you to the hoppingest dance club in town, 'cause jimmy jamzz is all about

278. Hoppingest dance club in town, 'cause jimmy jamzz is all about bustin' killer moves, girl!

279. 'cause jimmy jamzz is all about bustin' killer moves, girl! Oh, yeah, dawg!

280. Bustin' killer moves, girl! Oh, yeah, dawg! okay.

281. Oh, yeah, dawg! okay. Bachelor number 2?

282. okay. Bachelor number 2? I would take you to a

283. Bachelor number 2? I would take you to a fine-dining establishment and

284. I would take you to a fine-dining establishment and then show you my latest line of

285. Fine-dining establishment and then show you my latest line of t-shirts!

286. Then show you my latest line of t-shirts! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

287. T-shirts! Whoo-hoo-hoo! hmm. Bachelor number 3?

288. Whoo-hoo-hoo! hmm. Bachelor number 3? Uh...

289. hmm. Bachelor number 3? Uh... Go out for a nice meal?

290. Uh... Go out for a nice meal? And go to the

291. Go out for a nice meal? And go to the planetarium, 'cause you surely

292. And go to the planetarium, 'cause you surely belong with the other heavenly

293. Planetarium, 'cause you surely belong with the other heavenly bodies.

294. Belong with the other heavenly bodies.

295. Bodies.

296. next question — "what is your

297. next question — "what is your biggest dream in life?"

298. Next question — "what is your biggest dream in life?" bachelor number 1.

299. Biggest dream in life?" bachelor number 1. pshew!

300. Bachelor number 1. pshew! Girl, I'm already living my

301. pshew! Girl, I'm already living my dream!

302. Girl, I'm already living my dream! I've been regional hip-hop dance

303. Dream! I've been regional hip-hop dance champion nine times in a row,

304. I've been regional hip-hop dance champion nine times in a row, player!

305. Champion nine times in a row, player! Shout-out to my four-legged

306. Player! Shout-out to my four-legged crew!

307. Shout-out to my four-legged crew! bachelor number 2?

308. Crew! bachelor number 2? my dream is to sell my

309. bachelor number 2? my dream is to sell my t-shirts in all stores

310. my dream is to sell my t-shirts in all stores nationwide — that and move out

311. T-shirts in all stores nationwide — that and move out of my mama's basement.

312. Nationwide — that and move out of my mama's basement.

313. Of my mama's basement. bachelor number 3?

314. bachelor number 3? Uh, well, uh, save up

315. Bachelor number 3? Uh, well, uh, save up for retirement.

316. Uh, well, uh, save up for retirement. Geez, gramps!

317. For retirement. Geez, gramps! You're not dead yet!

318. Geez, gramps! You're not dead yet! But judging by your stage

319. You're not dead yet! But judging by your stage presence, you might as well be!

320. But judging by your stage presence, you might as well be! Hey-oh!

321. Presence, you might as well be! Hey-oh!

322. Hey-oh! but, seriously, sheena, my only

323. but, seriously, sheena, my only dream is to make each day with

324. But, seriously, sheena, my only dream is to make each day with you better than the last.

325. Dream is to make each day with you better than the last.

326. You better than the last. why, thank you,

327. why, thank you, bachelor number 3.

328. why, thank you, bachelor number 3. oh, come on!

329. Bachelor number 3. oh, come on! That's the worst pickup line I

330. oh, come on! That's the worst pickup line I ever heard!

331. That's the worst pickup line I ever heard! The only thing you

332. Ever heard! The only thing you should pick up is a pair of

333. The only thing you should pick up is a pair of scissors and cut off that lame

334. Should pick up is a pair of scissors and cut off that lame mullet!

335. Scissors and cut off that lame mullet!

336. Mullet! Rigby!

337. Rigby! Hey, the audience

338. Rigby! Hey, the audience loves me.

339. Hey, the audience loves me. Wish I could say the same for

340. Loves me. Wish I could say the same for these two dummies.

341. Wish I could say the same for these two dummies. you calling me a dummy,

342. These two dummies. you calling me a dummy, dummy?

343. you calling me a dummy, dummy? No, but you know who

344. Dummy? No, but you know who is calling you is your mom.

345. No, but you know who is calling you is your mom. She wants your rent check, fool.

346. Is calling you is your mom. She wants your rent check, fool. I've had enough of your lip,

347. She wants your rent check, fool. I've had enough of your lip, son!

348. I've had enough of your lip, son! Playtime's over!

349. Son! Playtime's over!

350. unh! Yo! I just "cen-tore" it up! aaaaah!

351. I just "cen-tore" it up! aaaaah! eat t-shirt!

352. aaaaah! eat t-shirt! let's teach this punk some

353. eat t-shirt! let's teach this punk some manners.

354. let's teach this punk some manners. Ugh!

355. Manners. Ugh!

356. Ugh!

357. that's enough!

358. that's enough! Look out!

359. That's enough! Look out!

360. Look out! aaaaaah!

361. aaaaaah! you okay?

362. you okay? Look, everyone, I'm not a

363. You okay? Look, everyone, I'm not a ventriloquist.

364. Look, everyone, I'm not a ventriloquist.

365. Ventriloquist. and this isn't a dummy.

366. And this isn't a dummy. the truth is I'm just a simple

367. the truth is I'm just a simple guy who works at a park, a quiet

368. The truth is I'm just a simple guy who works at a park, a quiet guy who wants to meet a nice

369. Guy who works at a park, a quiet guy who wants to meet a nice girl — someone I can spend time

370. Guy who wants to meet a nice girl — someone I can spend time with and talk to and, uh

371. Girl — someone I can spend time with and talk to and, uh doesn't mind that I

372. With and talk to and, uh doesn't mind that I like to go commando.

373. Like to go commando. anyway, I'm sorry I wasted

374. anyway, I'm sorry I wasted everybody's time.

375. Anyway, I'm sorry I wasted everybody's time. wait!

376. Everybody's time. wait! I choose bachelor number 3!

377. wait! I choose bachelor number 3! Huh?

378. I choose bachelor number 3! Huh? it's a date!

379. Huh? it's a date!

380. it's a date! sheena and skips, you two win an

381. sheena and skips, you two win an all-expenses-paid trip to

382. Sheena and skips, you two win an all-expenses-paid trip to costa rica!

383. All-expenses-paid trip to costa rica!

384. Costa rica! Whoo!

385. Whoo! Ye-ah!

386. Whoo! Ye-ah!

387. Keep the change. Skips! Skips! Skips! How was costa rica

388. Skips! Skips! Skips! How was costa rica with your chica?

389. How was costa rica with your chica? Well, uh...

390. With your chica? Well, uh... aaaaah!

391. Well, uh... aaaaah! Aaaaah!

392. aaaaah! Aaaaah! Aaaaah!

393. Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Aaah!

394. Aaaaah! Aaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

395. Aaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Ah, she was too

396. Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Ah, she was too high-maintenance.

397. Ah, she was too high-maintenance. But I'm back in the saddle.

398. High-maintenance. But I'm back in the saddle. Thanks, guys.

399. But I'm back in the saddle. Thanks, guys. Wh-o-o-o-o-o-oa!

400. Thanks, guys. Wh-o-o-o-o-o-oa! Nice. Nice.