Regular Show 5x30

1. Guys. Guys! I'd like to propose a toast.

2. Guys! I'd like to propose a toast. I know that I'm the one being

3. I'd like to propose a toast. I know that I'm the one being honored tomorrow with a gold

4. I know that I'm the one being honored tomorrow with a gold watch for showing up to work

5. Honored tomorrow with a gold watch for showing up to work 1,000 consecutive days in a row,

6. Watch for showing up to work 1,000 consecutive days in a row, but I want you to know, it's

7. 1,000 consecutive days in a row, but I want you to know, it's actually about you guys.

8. But I want you to know, it's actually about you guys. So thank you.

9. Actually about you guys. So thank you. Thanks, benson.

10. So thank you. Thanks, benson. That means a lot.

11. Thanks, benson. That means a lot. How do you do it?

12. That means a lot. How do you do it? How do you always get to work on

13. How do you do it? How do you always get to work on time?

14. How do you always get to work on time? That is a great

15. Time? That is a great question, thomas.

16. That is a great question, thomas. Did everybody hear that?

17. Question, thomas. Did everybody hear that? The guy knows how to think.

18. Did everybody hear that? The guy knows how to think. I've gotten this far in life by

19. The guy knows how to think. I've gotten this far in life by doing one thing, and that's

20. I've gotten this far in life by doing one thing, and that's playing it safe.

21. Doing one thing, and that's playing it safe. I set three alarm clocks every

22. Playing it safe. I set three alarm clocks every night, including this one.

23. I set three alarm clocks every night, including this one. And then I leave my toast and

24. Night, including this one. And then I leave my toast and coffee out the night before so

25. And then I leave my toast and coffee out the night before so that it's ready for me when I

26. Coffee out the night before so that it's ready for me when I wake up.

27. That it's ready for me when I wake up. muscle man: You eat stale

28. Wake up. muscle man: You eat stale toast?

29. muscle man: You eat stale toast? Yes.

30. Toast? Yes. And I don't like it, not one

31. Yes. And I don't like it, not one bit.

32. And I don't like it, not one bit. But I know that it'll all be

33. Bit. But I know that it'll all be worth it the moment that

34. But I know that it'll all be worth it the moment that mr. Maellard honors me with that

35. Worth it the moment that mr. Maellard honors me with that gold watch.

36. Mr. Maellard honors me with that gold watch. hi five: You must want that

37. Gold watch. hi five: You must want that watch pretty bad, huh?

38. hi five: You must want that watch pretty bad, huh? Oh, you have no idea

39. Watch pretty bad, huh? Oh, you have no idea how long I've wanted that thing.

40. Oh, you have no idea how long I've wanted that thing. But tonight I can finally stand

41. How long I've wanted that thing. But tonight I can finally stand before you guys and say, "I did

42. But tonight I can finally stand before you guys and say, "I did it!"

43. Before you guys and say, "I did it!"

44. It!" muscle man: Hey, man, I don't

45. muscle man: Hey, man, I don't mean to be a debbie h. Downer

46. muscle man: Hey, man, I don't mean to be a debbie h. Downer here, but don't you think it's a

47. Mean to be a debbie h. Downer here, but don't you think it's a little bit early to be

48. Here, but don't you think it's a little bit early to be celebrating?

49. Little bit early to be celebrating? I mean, you still have to make

50. Celebrating? I mean, you still have to make it on time tomorrow.

51. I mean, you still have to make it on time tomorrow. Oh, come on,

52. It on time tomorrow. Oh, come on, muscle man.

53. Oh, come on, muscle man. What could possibly go wrong

54. Muscle man. What could possibly go wrong between now and then?

55. What could possibly go wrong between now and then? Hey, benson.

56. Between now and then? Hey, benson. You're not gonna believe this —

57. Hey, benson. You're not gonna believe this — these guys are celebrating 1,000

58. You're not gonna believe this — these guys are celebrating 1,000 of something, too.

59. These guys are celebrating 1,000 of something, too. 1,000 test missions.

60. Of something, too. 1,000 test missions. You guys are test

61. 1,000 test missions. You guys are test pilots?

62. You guys are test pilots? we sure are.

63. Pilots? we sure are. hey.

64. we sure are. hey. I'm tango, and this is stache.

65. hey. I'm tango, and this is stache. Wait, you're not

66. I'm tango, and this is stache. Wait, you're not stache?

67. Wait, you're not stache? no, I'm tango.

68. Stache? no, I'm tango. He's stache.

69. no, I'm tango. He's stache. why don't you join us for

70. He's stache. why don't you join us for some wings, and we'll celebrate

71. why don't you join us for some wings, and we'll celebrate our 1,000s together.

72. Some wings, and we'll celebrate our 1,000s together. More wings?

73. Our 1,000s together. More wings? Benson likey, and I'm benson.

74. More wings? Benson likey, and I'm benson. I'm not sure more

75. Benson likey, and I'm benson. I'm not sure more wings is a good idea, benson.

76. I'm not sure more wings is a good idea, benson. You don't want to eat yourself

77. Wings is a good idea, benson. You don't want to eat yourself into a food coma again.

78. You don't want to eat yourself into a food coma again. Yes.

79. Into a food coma again. Yes. Perhaps you've done enough

80. Yes. Perhaps you've done enough winging for one night.

81. Perhaps you've done enough winging for one night. Look, I can handle

82. Winging for one night. Look, I can handle it, guys.

83. Look, I can handle it, guys. It's just one round.

84. It, guys. It's just one round. It's just, uh...

85. It's just one round. It's just, uh... Well, sometimes people do things

86. It's just, uh... Well, sometimes people do things they regret on a bellyful of

87. Well, sometimes people do things they regret on a bellyful of wings.

88. They regret on a bellyful of wings. That's all we're

89. Wings. That's all we're saying.

90. That's all we're saying. Don't worry, guys.

91. Saying. Don't worry, guys. I got it under control.

92. Don't worry, guys. I got it under control.

93. I got it under control. ow, my head.

94. ow, my head. What happened to me?

95. Ow, my head. What happened to me? what could possibly

96. What happened to me? what could possibly go wrong between now and then?

97. what could possibly go wrong between now and then? Hey, benson, you're

98. Go wrong between now and then? Hey, benson, you're not gonna believe this.

99. Hey, benson, you're not gonna believe this. These guys are celebrating 1,000

100. Not gonna believe this. These guys are celebrating 1,000 of something, too.

101. These guys are celebrating 1,000 of something, too.

102. Of something, too. mordecai and rigby!

103. mordecai and rigby!

104. Mordecai and rigby! where am I?

105. where am I? Ah, I only have three hours to

106. Where am I? Ah, I only have three hours to get back.

107. Ah, I only have three hours to get back. How am I ever —

108. Get back. How am I ever — wait, a road.

109. How am I ever — wait, a road. I'm saved.

110. Wait, a road. I'm saved.

111. I'm saved. come on, come on.

112. come on, come on. Pick up!

113. Come on, come on. Pick up! Hello?

114. Pick up! Hello? Pops, it's benson.

115. Hello? Pops, it's benson. Oh, benson, are you

116. Pops, it's benson. Oh, benson, are you okay?

117. Oh, benson, are you okay? I'm fine, pops.

118. Okay? I'm fine, pops. Listen, could you put mordecai

119. I'm fine, pops. Listen, could you put mordecai and rigby on so I can scream at

120. Listen, could you put mordecai and rigby on so I can scream at them for ruining my life?

121. And rigby on so I can scream at them for ruining my life? They're not with you?

122. Them for ruining my life? They're not with you? Oh, dear.

123. They're not with you? Oh, dear. They didn't come home last

124. Oh, dear. They didn't come home last night.

125. They didn't come home last night. We're all worried sick.

126. Night. We're all worried sick. What the heck

127. We're all worried sick. What the heck happened last night?

128. What the heck happened last night? I'm afraid I don't

129. Happened last night? I'm afraid I don't know.

130. I'm afraid I don't know.

131. Know. well, whatever it was left me

132. well, whatever it was left me stranded out in the desert.

133. Well, whatever it was left me stranded out in the desert. Can you come pick me up?

134. Stranded out in the desert. Can you come pick me up? Oh, of course.

135. Can you come pick me up? Oh, of course. Where in the desert are you,

136. Oh, of course. Where in the desert are you, exactly?

137. Where in the desert are you, exactly? Uh, hold on.

138. Exactly? Uh, hold on. Let me see.

139. Uh, hold on. Let me see. Great.

140. Let me see. Great.

141. Great. oh, a car.

142. oh, a car. Hey!

143. Oh, a car. Hey! Hey, stop!

144. Hey! Hey, stop!

145. Hey, stop! Can you tell me what

146. Can you tell me what road this is?

147. Can you tell me what road this is? sure.

148. Road this is? sure. How 'bout right after you tell

149. sure. How 'bout right after you tell me if this hurts or not.

150. How 'bout right after you tell me if this hurts or not.

151. Me if this hurts or not.

152. Benson?

153. Benson? Hello?

154. Benson? Hello? What on earth are you

155. Hello? What on earth are you arresting me for?

156. What on earth are you arresting me for? Benson, you're all

157. Arresting me for? Benson, you're all right!

158. Benson, you're all right! You!

159. Right! You! heh, knock yourselves out.

160. You! heh, knock yourselves out. Aaah!

161. heh, knock yourselves out. Aaah! What did you do to

162. Aaah! What did you do to me?

163. What did you do to me? do you

164. Me? do you not remember anything?

165. do you not remember anything? No!

166. Not remember anything? No! Get off of me and

167. No! Get off of me and I'll tell you!

168. Get off of me and I'll tell you!

169. I'll tell you! oh... Oh...

170. oh... Oh... Here's what happened.

171. Oh... Oh... Here's what happened. Benson! Benson!

172. Here's what happened. Benson! Benson! Benson!

173. Benson! Benson! Benson! The wings just kept

174. Benson! The wings just kept coming.

175. The wings just kept coming. both of our engines were on

176. Coming. both of our engines were on fire, but somehow we managed to

177. both of our engines were on fire, but somehow we managed to crash-land right in the middle

178. Fire, but somehow we managed to crash-land right in the middle of a hot-tub party.

179. Crash-land right in the middle of a hot-tub party. I wish I was cool

180. Of a hot-tub party. I wish I was cool like you guys.

181. I wish I was cool like you guys. Instead, I'm being honored

182. Like you guys. Instead, I'm being honored tomorrow for playing it safe.

183. Instead, I'm being honored tomorrow for playing it safe. Ouch.

184. Tomorrow for playing it safe. Ouch. yeah. That's rough.

185. Ouch. yeah. That's rough. if you want to be honored

186. yeah. That's rough. if you want to be honored tomorrow with some grade-a guts,

187. if you want to be honored tomorrow with some grade-a guts, you should drive up to the

188. Tomorrow with some grade-a guts, you should drive up to the ceremony in the mach infinity.

189. You should drive up to the ceremony in the mach infinity. yeah.

190. Ceremony in the mach infinity. yeah. It's the supersonic car we just

191. yeah. It's the supersonic car we just test-drove.

192. It's the supersonic car we just test-drove. Seriously?

193. Test-drove. Seriously? I didn't know that

194. Seriously? I didn't know that car actually existed.

195. I didn't know that car actually existed. Nothing can drive that

196. Car actually existed. Nothing can drive that fast.

197. Nothing can drive that fast.

198. Fast. you'd be taking a big risk.

199. you'd be taking a big risk. But in a cool way.

200. you'd be taking a big risk. But in a cool way. I don't know, benson.

201. But in a cool way. I don't know, benson. You might be

202. I don't know, benson. You might be risking more than just that gold

203. You might be risking more than just that gold watch.

204. Risking more than just that gold watch. It's worth it!

205. Watch. It's worth it! just make sure your

206. It's worth it! just make sure your lift-to-drag ratio stays level.

207. just make sure your lift-to-drag ratio stays level. You don't want to go into a

208. Lift-to-drag ratio stays level. You don't want to go into a high-g maneuver.

209. You don't want to go into a high-g maneuver. Whooo!

210. High-g maneuver. Whooo! High-g maneuver!

211. Whooo! High-g maneuver! All right.

212. High-g maneuver! All right. Here goes.

213. All right. Here goes.

214. Here goes. aah! Aaah! Aaaah!

215. aah! Aaah! Aaaah! Stop! Stop! Stop!

216. Aah! Aaah! Aaaah! Stop! Stop! Stop!

217. Stop! Stop! Stop!

218. That's crazy. yeah. You landed about a mile away,

219. yeah. You landed about a mile away, but the car kept going and ended

220. You landed about a mile away, but the car kept going and ended up on the road.

221. But the car kept going and ended up on the road. Yeah.

222. Up on the road. Yeah. When we went to go find you, the

223. Yeah. When we went to go find you, the cop arrested us for speeding.

224. When we went to go find you, the cop arrested us for speeding. we even showed him our

225. Cop arrested us for speeding. we even showed him our government-clearance card, which

226. we even showed him our government-clearance card, which allows us to speed, but he just

227. Government-clearance card, which allows us to speed, but he just ripped it up.

228. Allows us to speed, but he just ripped it up. He was like, "nyah!

229. Ripped it up. He was like, "nyah! Nyah!"

230. He was like, "nyah! Nyah!"

231. Nyah!" I'll go try and talk to this

232. I'll go try and talk to this guy.

233. I'll go try and talk to this guy. Uh, hi, sir?

234. Guy. Uh, hi, sir? Um...

235. Uh, hi, sir? Um... I kind of have to be somewhere

236. Um... I kind of have to be somewhere by 9:00, and —

237. I kind of have to be somewhere by 9:00, and — well, we wouldn't want you to

238. By 9:00, and — well, we wouldn't want you to be late, now, would we?

239. well, we wouldn't want you to be late, now, would we? No, we wouldn't, sir.

240. Be late, now, would we? No, we wouldn't, sir. well, son, the soonest I can

241. No, we wouldn't, sir. well, son, the soonest I can open that door for you is, uh,

242. well, son, the soonest I can open that door for you is, uh, 9:01 a.M.

243. Open that door for you is, uh, 9:01 a.M.

244. 9:01 a.M. You didn't even

245. You didn't even look at anything.

246. You didn't even look at anything. You just made that time up to be

247. Look at anything. You just made that time up to be a jerk.

248. You just made that time up to be a jerk. open your mouth again, pretty

249. A jerk. open your mouth again, pretty boy, and you're getting the

250. open your mouth again, pretty boy, and you're getting the hose!

251. Boy, and you're getting the hose! That won't be

252. Hose! That won't be necessary.

253. That won't be necessary. Pops!

254. Necessary. Pops! How did you find us?

255. Pops! How did you find us? Oh, it was quite

256. How did you find us? Oh, it was quite simple.

257. Oh, it was quite simple. While you were being arrested, I

258. Simple. While you were being arrested, I happened to hear the distinctive

259. While you were being arrested, I happened to hear the distinctive mating call of a chubby-necked

260. Happened to hear the distinctive mating call of a chubby-necked chicken vulture in the

261. Mating call of a chubby-necked chicken vulture in the background.

262. Chicken vulture in the background. I tried to use your computing

263. Background. I tried to use your computing device to look up its habitat on

264. I tried to use your computing device to look up its habitat on the internet, but I got scared.

265. Device to look up its habitat on the internet, but I got scared. So I called thomas over and he

266. The internet, but I got scared. So I called thomas over and he found it without any trouble at

267. So I called thomas over and he found it without any trouble at all.

268. Found it without any trouble at all. Wow, pops, that's

269. All. Wow, pops, that's amazing.

270. Wow, pops, that's amazing. Now, officer, please

271. Amazing. Now, officer, please allow me to pay you whatever

272. Now, officer, please allow me to pay you whatever fines they've accrued and we'll

273. Allow me to pay you whatever fines they've accrued and we'll be on our merry way.

274. Fines they've accrued and we'll be on our merry way. are you trying to bribe me,

275. Be on our merry way. are you trying to bribe me, son?

276. are you trying to bribe me, son? Bribe?

277. Son? Bribe? Pops!

278. Bribe? Pops! You can't arrest

279. Pops! You can't arrest him for no reason!

280. You can't arrest him for no reason! Yeah, you think you're

281. Him for no reason! Yeah, you think you're above the law?

282. Yeah, you think you're above the law? on this quarter-mile stretch

283. Above the law? on this quarter-mile stretch of highway, I am the law.

284. on this quarter-mile stretch of highway, I am the law.

285. Of highway, I am the law. y'all sit tight while I find the

286. y'all sit tight while I find the bigger hose.

287. Y'all sit tight while I find the bigger hose.

288. Bigger hose. well, you ruined my life again.

289. well, you ruined my life again. What?

290. Well, you ruined my life again. What? We had nothing to do with this!

291. What? We had nothing to do with this! I woke up in a

292. We had nothing to do with this! I woke up in a military jumpsuit, strapped to

293. I woke up in a military jumpsuit, strapped to an ejector seat.

294. Military jumpsuit, strapped to an ejector seat. Of course you had something to

295. An ejector seat. Of course you had something to do with this!

296. Of course you had something to do with this! whoa, benson.

297. Do with this! whoa, benson. nobody put those wings inside

298. whoa, benson. nobody put those wings inside you but you.

299. nobody put those wings inside you but you. just because we party like

300. You but you. just because we party like handsome maniacs doesn't mean

301. just because we party like handsome maniacs doesn't mean you didn't have a choice.

302. Handsome maniacs doesn't mean you didn't have a choice.

303. You didn't have a choice. you're right.

304. you're right. I decided to take risks, and

305. You're right. I decided to take risks, and this is the price I pay.

306. I decided to take risks, and this is the price I pay. We've tried everything, but this

307. This is the price I pay. We've tried everything, but this cop won't listen to reason.

308. We've tried everything, but this cop won't listen to reason. maybe you can't reason your

309. Cop won't listen to reason. maybe you can't reason your way out of this one.

310. maybe you can't reason your way out of this one. maybe the solution is...

311. Way out of this one. maybe the solution is... Another risk.

312. maybe the solution is... Another risk. Okay, I've got an idea.

313. Another risk. Okay, I've got an idea.

314. Okay, I've got an idea.

315. what in tarnation happened

316. what in tarnation happened here?

317. what in tarnation happened here? Oh, it was terrible.

318. Here? Oh, it was terrible. They ganged up on me and beat me

319. Oh, it was terrible. They ganged up on me and beat me up before they escaped.

320. They ganged up on me and beat me up before they escaped. escaped?

321. Up before they escaped. escaped? Nobody escapes from my —

322. escaped? Nobody escapes from my — Now!

323. Nobody escapes from my — Now! what?

324. I can't believe that worked! Yeah, I figured pops'

325. That worked! Yeah, I figured pops' head would only hide two or

326. Yeah, I figured pops' head would only hide two or three of us, tops.

327. Head would only hide two or three of us, tops. How much time until

328. Three of us, tops. How much time until the ceremony?

329. How much time until the ceremony? Less than an hour.

330. The ceremony? Less than an hour. We can take carmenita.

331. Less than an hour. We can take carmenita. She's too slow.

332. We can take carmenita. She's too slow.

333. She's too slow. it's your only chance,

334. it's your only chance, benson.

335. it's your only chance, benson. how bad do you want that

336. Benson. how bad do you want that watch?

337. how bad do you want that watch? More than anything.

338. Watch? More than anything. perfect.

339. More than anything. perfect. Let's go.

340. perfect. Let's go. See you at the

341. Let's go. See you at the ceremony!

342. See you at the ceremony! what?

343. Ceremony! what?

344. Ah, come on! yes!

345. yes! get out of the car!

346. Yes! get out of the car!

347. It took me 30 years to grow this thing.

348. Thing.

349. What the...?

350. What the...? where you going, boy?

351. Nooooo!

352. Aaaah! yes, I made it.

353. yes, I made it. Hey, how did you guys get here

354. Yes, I made it. Hey, how did you guys get here before me?

355. Hey, how did you guys get here before me?

356. Before me? It's a miracle!

357. It's a miracle! Well, I don't know

358. It's a miracle! Well, I don't know about miracle, but...

359. Well, I don't know about miracle, but... Dude, where have

360. About miracle, but... Dude, where have you been for the last three

361. Dude, where have you been for the last three months?

362. You been for the last three months? What?

363. Months? What? what probably happened is

364. What? what probably happened is that you went so fast that you

365. what probably happened is that you went so fast that you actually traveled three months

366. That you went so fast that you actually traveled three months into the future.

367. Actually traveled three months into the future. We all thought you

368. Into the future. We all thought you were dead, man.

369. We all thought you were dead, man. Then if this isn't my

370. Were dead, man. Then if this isn't my gold-watch ceremony, it's my...

371. Then if this isn't my gold-watch ceremony, it's my... Memorial service.

372. Gold-watch ceremony, it's my... Memorial service. And who are all of

373. Memorial service. And who are all of these guys?

374. And who are all of these guys? They're applicants for

375. These guys? They're applicants for the park manager position.

376. They're applicants for the park manager position. They're waiting until after the

377. The park manager position. They're waiting until after the service to be interviewed.

378. They're waiting until after the service to be interviewed. Mr. Maellard, about

379. Service to be interviewed. Mr. Maellard, about the gold watch...

380. Mr. Maellard, about the gold watch... uh, I'm gonna have to say no.

381. The gold watch... uh, I'm gonna have to say no. I've always been a stickler for

382. uh, I'm gonna have to say no. I've always been a stickler for the rules.

383. I've always been a stickler for the rules. Hey, man, at least

384. The rules. Hey, man, at least you're not dead.

385. Hey, man, at least you're not dead. No.

386. You're not dead. No. Without that watch, I am dead.

387. No. Without that watch, I am dead.

388. Without that watch, I am dead. Benson! Stop!

389. Benson! Stop! the infinity's reverse gear

390. Benson! Stop! the infinity's reverse gear could tear a hole in space-time!

391. the infinity's reverse gear could tear a hole in space-time! I have to take that

392. Could tear a hole in space-time! I have to take that chance!

393. I have to take that chance!

394. Chance! now, there goes a man who

395. now, there goes a man who takes risks.

396. now, there goes a man who takes risks. Come on.

397. I... I never knew. Aaaaaah! It's working!

398. Aaaaaah! It's working! Aaah!

399. It's working! Aaah! Aaaaah!

400. Aaah! Aaaaah! Aaaaaah!

401. Aaaaah! Aaaaaah!

402. Aaaaaah! muscle man: Told you he'd

403. muscle man: Told you he'd make it.

404. muscle man: Told you he'd make it. 9:00 a.M. On the dot.

405. Make it. 9:00 a.M. On the dot. You did it, my boy.

406. 9:00 a.M. On the dot. You did it, my boy. It's beautiful.

407. You did it, my boy. It's beautiful. muscle man: I brought us some

408. It's beautiful. muscle man: I brought us some wings to help us celebrate.

409. muscle man: I brought us some wings to help us celebrate.

410. Wings to help us celebrate. sorry, muscle man, not this

411. sorry, muscle man, not this time.

412. Sorry, muscle man, not this time. come on, it's only one wing.

413. Time. come on, it's only one wing. Well...

414. come on, it's only one wing. Well... Oh, my head.

415. Well... Oh, my head. Where...?

416. Oh, my head. Where...? Aw, come on!