Regular Show 2x24

Directed by

Roger Craig Smith as Mailman / Food Truck Driver (voice) • Sunil Malhotra as Teacher (voice)

Mordecai begins to make fun of Rigby for not having a high school diploma so Rigby decides to drink a chemical that is supposed to make him smarter.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. You're probably wondering why I brought you here today.

2. Not really.

3. Check it.

4. All the richest people in history have drinks named after them.

5. Shirley Temple, Arnold Palmer, John F.

6. Lemonade.

7. What drink's gonna make me rich, you ask?

8. I'll tell you what.

9. One can of Raticola, frozen fruit punch concentrate, a dash of hot sauce,

10. sugar-roasted sugar bombs, for texture, and the rest...

11. Mordecai!

12. Witness!

13. The rig juice!

14. Dude, I don't think you should drink that.

15. Whoa...

16. My face feels like magic.

17. Dude, wanna taste?

18. Yeah, right.

19. I'm not dumb enough to drink that stuff.

20. Come on, we do dumb stuff all the time.

21. We're like two peas in a pod.

22. Uh, no, I'm definitely smarter than you.

23. It's been that way ever since you dropped out of high school.

24. Dude, what?

25. I don't need no high school education.

26. You can't use anything from school in everyday life.

27. Hey, Mordecai and Rigby, I got a question for you.

28. So, you know those six box turtles at the park petting zoo?

29. Each of those turtles needs a turtle fence.

30. Assuming each turtle needs nine square feet of space, I need you guys to figure

31. out the minimum number of nine-foot planks to use for construction.

32. Uh... Whoa, whoa, slow down, Benson.

33. Rigby can't answer that question.

34. He doesn't have a high school diploma.

35. You don't have a diploma?

36. Thanks for wasting my time.

37. Where's Skips?

38. I'll go ask him.

39. Ask Skips what?

40. Oh, just about some math problem that Rigby doesn't know how to solve.

41. Stop talking!

42. Just because I couldn't solve some math

43. problem doesn't make you more smarter than me.

44. Check that grammar, bro.

45. Huh?

46. More smart.

47. Not more smarter.

48. Didn't you learn that in high school?

49. Learn this.

50. A high school diploma never got nobody nothing, and that's a fact.

51. Free burgers!

52. Free burgers for all high school graduates!

53. Whoa!

54. I'm a high school graduate!

55. I got my diploma right here!

56. No!

57. Wait!

58. I've got my diploma!

59. Come back!

60. You misspelled diploma, dude.

61. Huh?

62. That's it!

63. I'm going back to high school!

64. Eh, doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

65. Our friendship wouldn't work if we're both smart.

66. What?

67. What are you talking about?

68. We're both the same amount of smart as each other.

69. No, you're not.

70. I'm the smart one, and you're my friend.

71. That's our dynamic, dude.

72. I have a high school diploma, and you don't.

73. I'm going to get my diploma, and then we'll see how you like being the dumb one!

74. Well, class, this is quite possibly the hardest math problem in the world.

75. Whoever can solve it will be leaving the

76. classroom today with a diploma in their hands.

77. Did you say diploma?

78. That is correct!

79. Congratulations, Rigby!

80. You won't need to go near another school for the rest of your life!

81. Rigby!

82. Huh?

83. What?

84. Uh, can I get my diploma now?

85. Get out of my class, Rigby.

86. You fell asleep in class, didn't you?

87. Shut up!

88. You wouldn't fall asleep so much if you had your high school diploma.

89. Some lousy high school diploma.

90. I can get my diploma the easy way.

91. Online.

92. Welcome to the Education Mentor.

93. Get your diploma now by taking our online tests.

94. I got this.

95. Bam!

96. First question.

97. Which of the following is not a square?

98. This is too hard.

99. I want my diploma!

100. Eds, go away now!

101. Huh?

102. Brain Max?

103. Increase your intelligence?

104. More smarter.

105. Welcome to the Brain Max system.

106. Instructions.

107. Take one tablespoon a day.

108. Do not take if pregnant or one hour after heavy thinking.

109. We'll see results in 30 to 40 days?

110. What?

111. I'll just drink a month's worth of doses.

112. I mean, it doesn't say not to.

113. No!

114. Whoa.

115. I know this now.

116. Wait a minute.

117. I know everything.

118. Hey, I got something that'll help you with that crossword.

119. It's called a high school diploma.

120. Very amusing, Mordecai.

121. All merriment aside, perhaps you can assist me with this.

122. Tell me, what's an eight-letter word for idiot?

123. What?

124. Why are you talking like that?

125. I've tried imbecile, bonehead, pea-brain.

126. Ah, wait, I've got it.

127. Mordecai.

128. You're the idiot, you... dumb face.

129. I'm afraid while dumb face fits, it's simply too stupid for this puzzle.

130. Face it, Mordecai.

131. I'm the smartest now.

132. What is that?

133. That isn't rig juice.

134. Brain Max.

135. Hey, get your hands off that.

136. Give me that.

137. First of all, I want to contradict your earlier statement, Rigby.

138. This theory proves you're dumber than me.

139. Ha!

140. As you can see by my counter-theory, it is you who are dumber than me.

141. Tsk, tsk.

142. Wait till you see my 20-page research paper backing up my theory.

143. Tsk, tsk.

144. I'm going to write a 21-page paper backing up my theory and prove yours wrong.

145. Tsk, tsk.

146. Is that so?

147. Tsk, tsk.

148. Yeah.

149. Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.

150. In closing, your theories have failed to prove that you

151. are smarter, for your brain is no bigger than a walnut.

152. Very funny, Mordecai, but your paper is fundamentally flawed

153. because your brain is made up of 99% canine butt cheeks.

154. There is still one irrefutable truth.

155. You don't have a high school diploma, so I'm smarter than you.

156. You imbecile.

157. Aaaaah!

158. I am not an imbecile!

159. If a diploma will prove I'm smarter than you, then so be it!

160. Huh?

161. Ah!

162. I can't read it.

163. Probably because you're still too stupid.

164. Here.

165. Huh?

166. What kind of writing is this?

167. Mordecai, Rigby, you guys.

168. Huh?

169. Grrrrrr!

170. Mordecai, Rigby, get downstairs right now and clean up the mess you made,

171. or I'm going to fire you.

172. Dude, what is he saying?

173. Oh no, we've become so smart, they're stupid to us.

174. Quorum, he, vitio, morionis.

175. Morionis?

176. Morionis vestris incipient rim totem!

177. Et harem visere deberet ere stultum.

178. If you hadn't made fun of me so much, none of this would have happened.

179. Whatever.

180. You can't even get your diploma now that we're so smart.

181. So what's the point?

182. You're right.

183. There is no point.

184. Huh?

185. What's the point in being so smart that you can't even understand anyone?

186. We have to get stupid again.

187. How?

188. Rig juice.

189. The fridge!

190. Ah ha!

191. The rig juice!

192. Pour me some.

193. Whoa, it looks different now.

194. Ready?

195. Wait!

196. If I drink this, I'll never get my diploma.

197. Dude, it's just a piece of paper.

198. I know that, but you'll never stop making fun of me for it.

199. I don't care.

200. I won't make fun of you anymore, I promise.

201. To being smart is the most important thing.

202. To being stupid?

203. To being stupid.

204. Bottoms up!

205. Did that work?

206. If you don't stop goofing off and clean up this

207. graffiti now, I'm going to tear you limb from limb!

208. Huh?

209. Do you have anything to say for yourselves?

210. What just happened?

211. I don't remember anything.

212. Me and Fives were practicing for a pie-eating contest

213. when you two dweebs came in speaking Spanish or something.

214. Then you drank that green stuff.

215. I can't believe you got me to drink your lame drink.

216. Better get started or it's coming out of your paycheck.

217. Yeah, losers.

218. You know, maybe if you had a high school diploma, we wouldn't be in this mess.

219. Well, guess what?

220. This dropout somehow got you to drink rig juice.

221. I'll get the paint.

222. That's good rig juice.