1. Okay, everyone.
Copy !req
2. Unfortunately, the government
just passed a new law.
Copy !req
3. Starting today all park
employees must pass an annual
Copy !req
4. fitness test in order
to keep their jobs.
Copy !req
5. I know. I know.
Copy !req
6. I don't want to be here
any more than you do.
Copy !req
7. So let's get this over with
so we can get back to work.
Copy !req
8. Ripped By mstoll
Copy !req
9. All right, guys.
Copy !req
10. Last part of the test.
Copy !req
11. Just do one pull-up,
and we can get out of here.
Copy !req
12. Hup!
Copy !req
13. Dude, this test
was so easy.
Copy !req
14. I know, right?
Copy !req
15. What a waste of time.
Copy !req
16. You want to go play some
video games after this?
Copy !req
17. Ye-e-ah, I do!
Copy !req
18. Mordecai! Rigby!
Copy !req
19. Quit talking and
get on the bar!
Copy !req
20. See you on the other side.
Copy !req
21. Boom!
Copy !req
22. Time to show all you chumps how
to do a pull-up like a real man!
Copy !req
23. Whomp-whomp!
Copy !req
24. Wh-whomp... who-o-mp!
Copy !req
25. Stop talking!
Copy !req
26. Come on, dude!
Copy !req
27. Quit messing around
and just do the pull-up.
Copy !req
28. I'm trying!
Copy !req
29. Oof!
Copy !req
30. Oh, man!
Copy !req
31. You can't even do
one pull-up?
Copy !req
32. Yes, I can!
Copy !req
33. It was only because
you distracted me
Copy !req
34. with that stupid noise!
Copy !req
35. Oh, so it was the noise's fault
that you can't do a pull-up.
Copy !req
36. Is that it?
Copy !req
37. Yes! Yes!
Copy !req
38. It was that stupid noise!
Copy !req
39. Fine.
Then go again.
Copy !req
40. Don't make that noise again!
Copy !req
41. I won't.
Copy !req
42. I promise.
Copy !req
43. Whomp-whomp! Wh-who-o-mp!
Copy !req
44. Cool it, Muscle Man.
Copy !req
45. Let's go, Rigby.
Just do the pull-up.
Copy !req
46. Oh, how embarrassing!
Copy !req
47. Dude, come on!
Copy !req
48. Oh, man!
Copy !req
49. He can't even do one pull-up!
Copy !req
50. I'm sorry Rigby,
but I can't give
Copy !req
51. you a passing grade
on the test.
Copy !req
52. If you can't do a pull-up
by the end of the week,
Copy !req
53. I'm gonna have
to fire you.
Copy !req
54. But...
Copy !req
55. Whatever, I was just tired!
Copy !req
56. I'll be able to do a pull-up.
Copy !req
57. You'll see.
Copy !req
58. Time to warm up
with some gym class.
Copy !req
59. "Because you know it's
better than the real thing."
Copy !req
60. Dude, what are you doing?
Copy !req
61. What does it look like?
Copy !req
62. I'm training
to do a pull-up.
Copy !req
63. Dude, that's not
doing anything!
Copy !req
64. If it's not doing anything,
Copy !req
65. then how come I'm already
breaking a sweat?
Copy !req
66. Um, I don't know.
Copy !req
67. Maybe because you're
really out of shape?
Copy !req
68. Does this look like
I'm out of shape?
Copy !req
69. Whoo-hoo! Whoo!
Copy !req
70. Carbo-loading!
Copy !req
71. Rigby, you got to
take this seriously!
Copy !req
72. Oh, I got to take
it seriously?
Copy !req
73. Is this serious
enough for you?
Copy !req
74. Benson, I'm ready
to do my pull-up now.
Copy !req
75. All right.
Copy !req
76. Let's get this over with.
Copy !req
77. Here's how we do it
in gym class, losers.
Copy !req
78. Well?
Copy !req
79. I'm trying!
Copy !req
80. Come on, Rigby.
Copy !req
81. Just get it over with.
Copy !req
82. You have until Friday.
Copy !req
83. Hey, Rigby.
Copy !req
84. Is anything wrong?
Copy !req
85. No. I'm fine.
Copy !req
86. Are you upset 'cause you
can't do a pull-up
Copy !req
87. and you might get fired?
Copy !req
88. What? Who told you that?
Copy !req
89. Muscle Man was
in here earlier.
Copy !req
90. He was selling tickets
to watch you fail.
Copy !req
91. Maybe he's right.
Copy !req
92. I can't believe I'm gonna lose
my job over a stupid pull-up.
Copy !req
93. You know, maybe
I can help you.
Copy !req
94. I was on the Pep Squad
in High School.
Copy !req
95. Thanks, Eileen,
Copy !req
96. but I'm gonna need a lot more
than pep to do a pull-up.
Copy !req
97. Training starts
after my shift.
Copy !req
98. All right!
Give it a try!
Copy !req
99. Ugh, this is too hard.
Copy !req
100. I think I see
the problem.
Copy !req
101. You're not visualizing
your own success.
Copy !req
102. Huh?
Copy !req
103. You need to see it.
Copy !req
104. Close your eyes.
Copy !req
105. Now visualize yourself
doing a pull-up.
Copy !req
106. I can't.
Copy !req
107. Come on,
you're not trying!
Copy !req
108. Close your eyes
and really concentrate.
Copy !req
109. What do you see?
Copy !req
110. A grilled
cheese sandwich.
Copy !req
111. Okay, okay.
Copy !req
112. Picture that sandwich.
Copy !req
113. Now picture your goal...
doing that one pull-up.
Copy !req
114. Can you see it?
Copy !req
115. Whomp-whomp! Ugh!
Copy !req
116. Not cool, Bro.
Copy !req
117. One pull-up.
Copy !req
118. Can you see it?
Copy !req
119. Look, I'm almost...
Copy !req
120. Man, I almost had it!
Copy !req
121. We'll get there.
Copy !req
122. Come on, Rigby.
We're almost out of time!
Copy !req
123. You can do this!
Copy !req
124. I can do this!
Copy !req
125. One pull-up! One pull-up!
Copy !req
126. One pull-up!
Copy !req
127. This is hopeless!
Copy !req
128. I'm never gonna be
able to do this!
Copy !req
129. Rigby! Rigby, wait!
Copy !req
130. I know you can do it.
Copy !req
131. This is so lame.
Copy !req
132. Lame government fitness test.
Copy !req
133. Lame arms.
Copy !req
134. Why's it got to be so hard?
Copy !req
135. Feeling weak?
Copy !req
136. Looking pathetic?
Copy !req
137. If you're watching television,
you probably are!
Copy !req
138. Luckily, this TV
commercial can save you!
Copy !req
139. If you want muscle fast,
but hate working out,
Copy !req
140. then you need The Russian!
Copy !req
141. Yeah, I do.
Copy !req
142. The Russian uses electrotherapy
to shock your muscles
Copy !req
143. into growing.
Copy !req
144. With no effort from you!
Copy !req
145. Just switch it on, and
you'll be stronger in no time!
Copy !req
146. Thank you, The Russian!
Copy !req
147. Aw, yeah!
Copy !req
148. That's exactly what I need!
Copy !req
149. "Do not operate The Russian for
more than 10 minutes a day."
Copy !req
150. Pfft!
Copy !req
151. Well, I want to get extra buff,
so I'll leave it on for 11.
Copy !req
152. Those jerks better
buy their tickets
Copy !req
153. for the Gun Show
tomorrow!
Copy !req
154. Thanks, The Russian!
Copy !req
155. Where the heck is Rigby?
Copy !req
156. We're almost out of time!
Copy !req
157. Maybe his nerves
got the better of him.
Copy !req
158. No, he'll be here.
Copy !req
159. He better.
Copy !req
160. 'Cause I got a lot
of people here
Copy !req
161. who paid good money to
watch him try.
Copy !req
162. Let me remind you...
Copy !req
163. there are no refunds
in the event of a no-show.
Copy !req
164. This is really weird.
Copy !req
165. Rigby trained really
hard for this.
Copy !req
166. He wouldn't
just blow it off.
Copy !req
167. I'll go check on him.
Copy !req
168. Rigby?
Oh, there you are.
Copy !req
169. You got to...
Copy !req
170. It worked!
Copy !req
171. What did you do?
Copy !req
172. I used The Russian
to get totally ripped!
Copy !req
173. This is awesome!
Copy !req
174. Now to go bust
out my pull-up!
Copy !req
175. Huh?
Copy !req
176. My muscles are too heavy!
Copy !req
177. I can't stand up!
Copy !req
178. Oh, Rigby, there are no
shortcuts to physical fitness.
Copy !req
179. Oh, no,
I'm gonna lose my job!
Copy !req
180. No, no, no, no!
Copy !req
181. Come on, you can
still make it.
Copy !req
182. Aw, it's hopeless!
Copy !req
183. No, it's not!
Copy !req
184. There's still time!
Copy !req
185. Do what I say!
Copy !req
186. Close your eyes!
Copy !req
187. Now picture that pull-up bar!
Copy !req
188. Do you see it?
Copy !req
189. I see it!
Copy !req
190. I see the pull-up bar!
Copy !req
191. Then go do it!
Copy !req
192. You're doing it!
Copy !req
193. Just use your arms!
Copy !req
194. Keep going! That's it!
Copy !req
195. Pfft, he's late!
Copy !req
196. What is that?
Copy !req
197. It's Rigby!
Copy !req
198. You've only got
30 seconds left!
Copy !req
199. Yes!
Copy !req
200. Aah!
Copy !req
201. Rigby!
Copy !req
202. Rigby, you have 15 seconds to
get up here and do a pull-up!
Copy !req
203. 15 seconds?
Copy !req
204. Whoa.
Copy !req
205. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Copy !req
206. Yeah!
Copy !req
207. Time!
Copy !req
208. You did it, Rigby!
Copy !req
209. You can stay at the park!
Copy !req
210. Rigby!
Rigby, you were wonderful!
Copy !req
211. Thanks, Eileen.
Copy !req
212. I couldn't have
done it without you.
Copy !req
213. I'd hug you, but I should
probably wait till these
Copy !req
214. muscles go away.
Copy !req
215. I don't want to
break your spine.
Copy !req
216. I'll take my chances.
Copy !req
217. Totally worth it.
Copy !req
218. Ripped By mstoll
Copy !req