Recess 1x23

Directed by Susie Dietter • Chuck Sheetz

Robert Goulet as Mikey Blumberg (singing voice) • Glenne Headly as Miss Salimony (voice) • Lane Toran as King Bob (voice) • Anndi McAfee as Ashley 'Ashley A' Armbruster (voice)

Principal Prickly needs Mikey to sing the National Anthem at the PTA Spring Fling, but Mikey only sings well in the bathroom. So he brings in a music teacher to bring the Robert Goulet out of Mikey.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. WHAA!

2. OOH!

3. AAAH!

4. WHY ARE WE HERE?

5. VAN BUREN'S BIRTHDAY.

6. GREAT. THAT MEANS WE HAVE TO LISTEN

7. TO OLD GOLDEN THROAT HIMSELF.

8. BRANDON.

9. HE SWALLOWED A BEE!

10. THIS IS A CATASTROPHE!

11. WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF A BEE STINGING BRANDON

12. IN THE VOCAL CHORDS?

13. HE WON'T BE ABLE TO SING FOR MONTHS.

14. THE PTA SPRING FLING IS IN TWO WEEKS.

15. I TOLD SUPERINTENDENT SKINNER

16. HE'D HEAR THE MOST MAGNIFICENT NATIONAL ANTHEM IN THE DISTRICT.

17. RANDALL COULD FILL IN.

18. OUR YORKSHIRE TERRIER SINGS BETTER THAN RANDALL,

19. AND WE PUT HER TO SLEEP YEARS AGO.

20. IT'S GOT TO BE SOME KID WHO CAN SING LIKE BRANDON.

21. BUT WHO? WHO?

22. WHERE'S THAT COMING FROM?

23. IT'S COMING FROM THERE!

24. WHAT DID I DO?

25. CANDY, SON?

26. UH, THANK YOU, SIR.

27. SON, YOU HAVE A LOVELY SINGING VOICE.

28. WE WERE HOPING YOU'D USE THAT VOICE TO DO US A FAVOR.

29. JUST SING A LITTLE SONG AT THE SPRING FLING.

30. NO, SEE, I SOUND REALLY BAD.

31. NONSENSE. YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL VOICE, A MAGNIFICENT VOICE.

32. NO, REALLY, I CAN'T SING.

33. SURE, YOU CAN. BELT IT OUT, SON.

34. SING!

35. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH ALREADY.

36. YOU THINK HE'S FAKING IT?

37. NO ONE CAN FAKE A VOICE THAT BAD.

38. I KNOW HE CAN SING.

39. WE HAVE TO DRAG IT OUT OF HIM.

40. I HEARD ABOUT A MUSIC TEACHER

41. AT SPIRO T. AGNEW MIDDLE SCHOOL.

42. WORD IS, SHE CAN GET ANY KID TO SING.

43. GREAT. GET HER.

44. SO FINSTER MAKES A CALL.

45. NOW THEY'RE SENDING OVER THIS WACKO TEACHER

46. WHO TORTURES KIDS UNTIL THEY SING.

47. IT'S HORRIBLE, YOU GUYS, JUST HORRIBLE.

48. YOU SING GREAT. I HEARD YOU ONCE IN THE BATHROOM.

49. SURE, IN THE BATHROOM.

50. ANYBODY CAN SING IN THE BATHROOM.

51. BUT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE, I'M ALMOST AS BAD AS SPINELLI.

52. WATCH IT OR YOU'LL BE HITTING A NEW OCTAVE.

53. THEY'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME,

54. NO MATTER WHO THIS MUSIC TEACHER IS.

55. THEY'RE NOT GOING TO GET ME TO SING,

56. NOT NO WAY, NOT NO HOW.

57. EXCUSE ME.

58. WHICH ONE OF YOU KIDS IS MIKEY?

59. UH, I AM.

60. NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M MISS SALAMONI.

61. I'M GOING TO BE YOUR MUSIC TEACHER.

62. WE'LL HOLD HER OFF IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A RUN FOR IT.

63. SHALL WE GO TO THE MUSIC ROOM?

64. HE'S A TOUGH NUT TO CRACK, ALL RIGHT.

65. MIKEY, I'M GOING TO PLAY. YOU JUST SING ALONG.

66. NO, I CAN'T SING.

67. OH, MIKEY, ANYONE CAN SING.

68. SINGING IS THE MOST NATURAL THING IN THE WORLD.

69. IT'S LIKE BREATHING, ONLY FOR THE SOUL.

70. BREATHING FOR THE SOUL. WOW.

71. SIT DOWN AND LET'S GIVE IT A TRY.

72. DO YOU KNOW "TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR"?

73. UM, OKAY, THAT WAS VERY... ORIGINAL.

74. NO, IT WAS HORRIBLE. IT WAS ROTTEN.

75. THE ONLY PLACE I SOUND ANY GOOD IS IN THE BATHROOM.

76. THE BATHROOM, HUH?

77. I DON'T KNOW, MRS. SALAMONI.

78. I REALLY DON'T THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

79. TRUST ME, MIKEY. NOW READY?

80. I TOLD YOU I WAS BAD.

81. NO, NOT AT ALL.

82. IN FACT, LET'S TRY SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE CHALLENGING.

83. IT'S LIKE BREATHING FOR THE SOUL.

84. I THOUGHT WE'D TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT TODAY, MIKEY.

85. SINGING WITH THIS BLINDFOLD

86. WILL HELP YOU VISUALIZE THE CHORDS.

87. OKAY, MISS SALAMONI.

88. WONDERFUL, MIKEY. NOW TAKE OFF YOUR BLINDFOLD.

89. HEY, I SANG WITHOUT THE BATHROOM STUFF!

90. THAT'S RIGHT, MIKEY! YOU DID IT ALL ON YOUR OWN!

91. OH, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!

92. SIGN THIS FOR ME, MIKEY!

93. Boy #2: COME ON!

94. ME, ME, ME, ME!

95. GEE, MIKEY, YOU'RE QUITE THE CELEBRITY.

96. YOU KNOW, I NEVER THOUGHT I WAS GOOD AT ANYTHING.

97. BUT NOW, THANKS TO MISS SALAMONI,

98. I REALIZE I DO HAVE A TALENT.

99. SHE MUST BE ONE GREAT TEACHER.

100. SHE IS, YOU GUYS.

101. SHE'S KIND AND BEAUTIFUL AND SMART, AND I LOVE HER.

102. PERHAPS WE WERE MISTAKEN, MIKEY.

103. WE THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU LOVED MISS SALAMONI.

104. I DO, AND SHE LOVES ME, TOO.

105. COME ON, YOU'RE ONLY 9.

106. AND SHE'S OLD, REALLY OLD. SHE'S GOT TO BE AT LEAST 24.

107. YOU GUYS JUST DON'T GET IT.

108. I LOVE MISS SALAMONI AND SHE LOVES ME,

109. AND I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU.

110. OH, ANTONIO, OF COURSE I WILL.

111. MIKEY, THERE YOU ARE.

112. ANTONIO, THIS IS THE BOY I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.

113. MIKEY, THIS IS ANTONIO, MY BOYFRIEND.

114. UH, FIANCé.

115. I MEAN, FIANCé.

116. ANTONIO JUST RETURNED FROM COSTA RICA.

117. HE SINGS OPERA FOR ROYAL HUNGARIAN CRUISE LINES.

118. WE'RE GOING TO BE MARRIED.

119. MIKEY!

120. WAS IT SOMETHING I SANG?

121. ANYBODY HEARD FROM MIKEY?

122. HIS MOTHER SAID HE WENT TO SCHOOL,

123. BUT NOBODY'S SEEN HIM.

124. HE'LL SHOW UP. THIS IS HIS BIG DAY.

125. I DON'T KNOW. HE SEEMED PRETTY UPSET.

126. WHERE IS THAT TWO-TIMING, DOUBLE-CROSSING LITTLE KID?

127. WE'VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE.

128. SUPERINTENDENT SKINNER'S GOING TO BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

129. WHERE IS THAT KID?

130. MIKEY.

131. AAH! A GIRL!

132. MIKEY, IS THAT YOU?

133. GO AWAY.

134. WE'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU.

135. EVEN YOU?

136. OF COURSE.

137. MIKEY, DON'T YOU WANT TO SING?

138. WHY? SO PRINCIPAL PRICKLY CAN KEEP HIS JOB?

139. MIKEY, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

140. HE'S THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE HERE.

141. I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME.

142. I DO LIKE YOU.

143. WHAT ABOUT ANTONIO?

144. OH, YOU THOUGHT...

145. MIKEY, YOU'RE SO SWEET.

146. NOT SWEET ENOUGH, I GUESS.

147. MIKEY, I'VE TAUGHT A LOT OF KIDS OVER THE YEARS...

148. SOME GOOD, SOME NOT SO GOOD...

149. OF ALL OF THEM, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY FAVORITE.

150. REALLY?

151. OF COURSE. YOU'RE A WONDERFUL PERSON.

152. YOU'RE POETIC AND KIND AND SENSITIVE.

153. BUT YOU'RE 9 YEARS OLD, MIKEY, AND I'M...

154. WELL, I'M NOT.

155. WE COULD WORK IT OUT.

156. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS,

157. BUT SOMEDAY YOU'RE GOING TO MEET SOMEONE YOUR OWN AGE,

158. AND SHE'S GOING TO BE

159. THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.

160. WELL, I'M STILL NOT GOING TO SING.

161. YOU DON'T HAVE TO, MIKEY, BUT I WISH YOU WOULD...

162. NOT FOR PRINCIPAL PRICKLY, NOT FOR ME, BUT FOR YOURSELF.

163. DID YOU FIND HIM?

164. YES.

165. WHERE IS HE?

166. I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU.

167. THIS IS SOMETHING MIKEY HAS TO FIGURE OUT ON HIS OWN.

168. YOU'RE ALL AGAINST ME!

169. PRINCIPAL PRICKLY, THE SUPERINTENDENT'S HERE!

170. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

171. WE'LL HAVE TO START WITHOUT THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.

172. NO NATIONAL ANTHEM? HE'S GOING TO BE FURIOUS.

173. THAT'S OKAY, PRICKLY.

174. YOU CAN DO IT. YOU'RE A BIG MAN.

175. JUST GO OUT THERE AND EXPLAIN THAT...

176. NO, DON'T MAKE ME DO IT. PLEASE! PLEASE!

177. SORRY, I'M LATE.

178. IT'S YOU! BLESS YOUR SIMPLE, CHILDISH HEART.

179. GET OUT THERE AND SING, BOY. SING!

180. YES, SIR.

181. LOOK, IT'S MIKEY!

182. I TOLD YOU HE'D MAKE IT.

183. I'D LIKE TO SING THIS, MISS SALAMONI.

184. OKAY, MIKEY.

185. I'M SUPPOSED TO SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM,

186. BUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT'S HAPPENED, AND, WELL,

187. I THINK THE NATION WILL FORGIVE ME.

188. WHAT?

189. INSTEAD I'D LIKE TO SING A SONG

190. I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN BUT NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD

191. UNTIL NOW.

192. YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!

193. BRAVO! BRAVO!

194. YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!

195. FARE THEE WELL, SALAMONI.

196. I'LL NOT FORGET THEE.

197. SO LONG, MIKEY. SEE YOU IN MIDDLE SCHOOL.

198. THE FACT IS, PRINCIPAL PRICKLY,

199. CHILDREN ARE NOT LIKE YOU OR ME.

200. THEY NEED GUIDANCE, MOTIVATION, DIRECTION,

201. AND WE GIVE IT TO THEM.

202. HEY, YOU EVER SEE THESE WINDUP SKULLS? THEY'RE NEAT.

203. YOU SEE, I'M AN EXPERT IN CHILD PSYCHOLOGY.

204. I'VE GOT THREE DEGREES FROM VARIOUS IVY LEAGUE SCHOOLS.

205. I'VE WRITTEN HALF A DOZEN BOOKS,

206. TWO OF WHICH WERE NEARLY PUBLISHED,

207. BUT I'VE NEVER INTERACTED WITH MY SUBJECTS UNTIL NOW.

208. CAN I HAVE MY SKULL TOY BACK?

209. I'M GOING TO GET A COUPLE OF GRAD STUDENTS,

210. SNEAK ONTO THE PLAYGROUND,

211. AND VIDEOTAPE MY SUBJECTS IN THEIR NATURAL HABITAT,

212. JUST LIKE JANE GOODALL.

213. IT'S NICE MEETING YOU, BUT I'VE GOT AN APPOINTMENT.

214. THOSE BIKINI WAXERS DON'T LIKE TO BE KEPT WAITING.

215. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

216. I'VE GOT SPONSORSHIP FROM THE UNIVERSITY,

217. THE DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION, THE SCHOOL DISTRICT...

218. THE SCHOOL DISTRICT?

219. THE SUPERINTENDENT KNOWS ABOUT THIS?

220. HE THINKS IT'S GENIUS, AND THAT'S NOT ALL.

221. THE PRINCIPAL OF THE SUBJECT SCHOOL WILL BE FEATURED

222. IN AN INTERVIEW, HIS KERNELS OF WISDOM

223. HIGHLIGHTING MY VIDEO PRESENTATION.

224. SUPERINTENDENT SKINNER WILL SEE THE KERNELS OF MY WISDOM?

225. ABSOLUTELY. WHEN I'M DONE, WE'LL HAVE A SCREENING.

226. THE SUPERINTENDENT WILL BE THERE,

227. MY DEPARTMENT CHAIR WILL BE THERE,

228. AND YOU WILL BE THE STAR, PRINCIPAL PRICKLY.

229. SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?

230. WHAT DO I SAY? WHEN CAN YOU START?

231. I'M OPEN. FEED ME THE BISCUIT.

232. FEED ME THE... HEY, WHO'S THAT?

233. OKAY, NOW, REMEMBER, IF ANY OF THE SUBJECTS

234. REALIZE WHAT WE'RE DOING,

235. THE INTEGRITY OF THE PROJECT GOES RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW.

236. OH! HELLO, YOUNGSTERS. DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO US.

237. JUST GO ON WITH YOUR SOCIAL INTERACTIONS.

238. GO ON, PARTICIPATE, PARTICIPATE.

239. OH, MAN.

240. OKAY, TAPING... PHASE ONE.

241. I WILL ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE SUBJECTS.

242. WHAT'S UP, HOMEYS?

243. MIND IF I HANG WITH YOUR POSSE?

244. HEY, THOSE ARE SOME RAD SHOES YOU GOT THERE.

245. THEY'RE JUST TENNIES.

246. MENTAL NOTE...

247. LOOK UP "TENNIES."

248. OH, MAN. GET A LOAD OF THIS.

249. THANKS TO MY CAMOUFLAGE,

250. I HAVE BECOME AN INTEGRAL PART OF THEIR ENVIRONMENT.

251. WITH THEIR SIMPLE MINDS,

252. THE CHILDREN WILL NEVER EVEN NOTICE MY PRESENCE.

253. HI, LADY.

254. Boy #2: EXCUSE ME, LADY. NICE HAT.

255. MENTAL NOTE... MORE CAMOUFLAGE.

256. FREE BALL!

257. AAH!

258. MENTAL NOTE... LESS CAMOUFLAGE.

259. WHAT THE...

260. "DEAR DR. QUILTY,

261. "TOO MUCH WORK FOR NO CASH MONEY.

262. "CALL US IF YOU DECIDE TO PAY.

263. P.S., HOPE THIS WON'T AFFECT OUR GRADE."

264. LOUSY, ROTTEN GRAD STUDENTS! WHO NEEDS THEM ANYWAY?

265. I CAN HANDLE THIS MYSELF! I AM A PhD!

266. HEY, LADY, YOU OKAY?

267. OKAY? DO I LOOK OKAY?

268. I'M A LOSER, A FAILURE.

269. ALL THESE YEARS OF STUDYING CHILDREN

270. AND READING ABOUT CHILDREN AND WRITING ABOUT CHILDREN.

271. I DON'T EVEN LIKE CHILDREN... NO OFFENSE.

272. NONE TAKEN.

273. I THOUGHT MAYBE IF I MADE THIS VIDEO,

274. I'D FINALLY GET SOME RECOGNITION,

275. BUT NOTHING'S WORKED OUT THE WAY I PLANNED.

276. NOTHING!

277. IF YOU WANTED TO VIDEOTAPE US THAT BAD, WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK?

278. ASK YOU?

279. LISTEN, LADY, WE'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL.

280. YOU PROMISE TO GET OFF OUR PLAYGROUND,

281. AND WE'LL HELP YOU MAKE YOUR VIDEO.

282. YOU'D DO THAT FOR ME?

283. WELL, GEE, I HAD NO IDEA

284. YOU CHILDREN COULD BE SO REASONABLE.

285. AAH!

286. HA HA HA.

287. AAH!

288. CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY!

289. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE.

290. IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU CHILDREN, I'D BE GLUING GRASS TO MY BACK.

291. ACTUALLY, IT WAS RATHER ENJOYABLE.

292. I'M SURE THE FINAL RESULT WILL ENSURE THAT

293. IMPORTANT CHANGES GET MADE AROUND HERE.

294. WHEN DO WE GET TO SEE THIS FINAL RESULT?

295. WELL, SINCE YOU CHILDREN HELPED ME SO MUCH,

296. WHY DON'T WE SET UP A SCREENING?

297. SAY, SOMETIME AROUND... NOVEMBER?

298. NOVEMBER?

299. OF NEXT YEAR.

300. BUT THAT'S SO LONG FROM NOW.

301. YES, WELL, THESE THINGS TAKE TIME.

302. ANYWAY, I HAVE A MEETING TOMORROW,

303. SO I WON'T SEE YOU UNTIL MONDAY.

304. AGAIN, THANKS. IT'S BEEN A MOST INTERESTING EXPERIENCE.

305. CIAO, BAMBINI.

306. NOVEMBER?

307. OF NEXT YEAR?

308. HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

309. SHE SAID SHE HAD TO SHOW IT MONDAY, RIGHT?

310. WELL, YEAH.

311. THEN SHE HAS TO HAVE SOME OF IT DONE BY NOW, RIGHT?

312. ALL WE'VE GOT TO DO IS GET IN THERE.

313. MOVE ASIDE. I'VE GOT AN IDEA...

314. LITTLE TRICK MY COUSIN GORDY SHOWED ME.

315. IT'S GOT TO BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

316. WHAT'S THIS?

317. THIS IS SO EXCITING!

318. Dr. THIS IS RECESS.

319. THE AVERAGE STUDENT SPENDS NEARLY 8,000 MINUTES,

320. MORE THAN 150 HOURS,

321. NEARLY THREE WORK WEEKS OF EVERY SCHOOL YEAR

322. ON THE PLAYGROUND,

323. BUT DO ANY OF US KNOW

324. WHAT OUR CHILDREN ARE REALLY DOING?

325. AFTER YEARS OF PAINSTAKING RESEARCH,

326. I HAVE DISCOVERED THE TRUTH.

327. RECESS... IT'S A PLACE

328. WHERE DANGEROUS ANTICS RULE THE DAY,

329. WHERE CHILDREN ARE TAUGHT TO STEAL BASES AND BALLS,

330. WHERE THE SMARTEST, MOST INTELLIGENT CHILD

331. IS CHASED LIKE A WILD ANIMAL.

332. RESPECTED EXPERT PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY

333. HAS THIS TO SAY...

334. RECESS? IT'S A WASTE OF TIME.

335. KIDS TODAY SHOULD BE SPENDING MORE TIME IN THE CLASSROOM

336. LEARNING TO COMPETE IN A GLOBAL ECONOMY

337. AND LESS TIME ON THE PLAYGROUND ACTING LIKE... LIKE CHILDREN.

338. Dr. PERHAPS THIS GREAT MAN IS RIGHT.

339. TODAY'S SOCIETY STANDS AT A CROSSROADS.

340. DO TODAY'S KIDS HAVE TIME FOR RECESS,

341. OR SHOULD WE GET RID OF THIS ARCHAIC INSTITUTION?

342. YOU BE THE JUDGE.

343. I FEEL SO BETRAYED.

344. MAN, IF THOSE BIGWIGS DOWNTOWN SEE THIS,

345. THEY'LL CANCEL RECESS FOREVER.

346. WE'VE GO TO DO SOMETHING.

347. YEAH, BUT WHAT?

348. WE'VE GOT TO FIX THIS THING.

349. T.J., WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

350. WHO KNOWS RECESS BETTER THAN WE DO?

351. A LITTLE EDITING, SOME NEW FOOTAGE.

352. YEAH. THEN WE'LL JUST SWITCH

353. THE OLD MOVIE WITH THE NEW ONE,

354. AND NOBODY WILL BE THE WISER.

355. I HAVE TWO ISSUES...

356. ONE, IS IT NOT WRONG TO TAMPER WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S WORK,

357. AND, TWO, SHOULD WE UP IT TO VHS OR 3/4 INCH?

358. OLD VIDEO OUT...

359. NEW VIDEO IN.

360. AH HA HA HA HA HA!

361. I THINK I MAY HAVE SWALLOWED MY RETAINER.

362. T.J: WE DID IT!

363. IT'S CLOSER TO THE TRUTH THAN WHAT QUILTY CAME UP WITH.

364. WE BETTER GET OUT...

365. SOMEBODY'S COMING.

366. QUICK... HIDE!

367. RIGHT THIS WAY, SUPERINTENDENT SKINNER, SIR.

368. OKAY, PRICKLY, THAT'S ENOUGH.

369. I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO SEE WHERE WE SET UP DR. QUILTY.

370. THE JANITOR'S ROOM? THAT WAS GENEROUS OF YOU, PRICKLY.

371. OH, THANK YOU, SIR. I THINK.

372. GOOD MORNING, GENTLEMEN.

373. PRINCIPAL PRICKLY, SUPERINTENDENT SKINNER,

374. THIS IS THE HEAD OF MY DEPARTMENT, DOCTOR...

375. FITZENBERG.

376. HELLO, FRED.

377. DORIS, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

378. WELL PERHAPS WE SHOULD BEGIN.

379. YES, WHY DON'T WE ALL SIT DOWN?

380. I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW YOU HOW WELL I'VE DONE.

381. I THINK I'M ON THE VERGE OF...

382. JUST SHOW US THE TAPE, QUILTY.

383. YES, MA'AM, RIGHT AWAY.

384. Dr. THIS IS RECESS.

385. THE AVERAGE STUDENT SPENDS NEARLY 8,000 MINUTES,

386. MORE THAN 150 HOURS,

387. NEARLY THREE WORK WEEKS OF EVERY SCHOOL YEAR

388. ON THE PLAYGROUND,

389. BUT DO ANY OF US KNOW

390. WHAT OUR CHILDREN ARE REALLY DOING?

391. AFTER YEARS OF PAINSTAKING RESEARCH,

392. I HAVE DISCOVERED THE TRUTH.

393. RECESS... IT'S A PLACE WHERE DANGEROUS ANTICS

394. RULE THE DAY.

395. WHAT THE... HEY! THIS ISN'T MY...

396. WHERE CHILDREN ARE TAUGHT TO STEAL BASES AND BALLS.

397. HA HA HA HA.

398. WHERE THE SMARTEST, MOST INTELLIGENT CHILD

399. IS CHASED LIKE A WILD ANIMAL.

400. AAH!

401. RESPECTED EXPERT PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY

402. HAS THIS TO SAY...

403. OOH, HERE COMES MY PART.

404. T.J.: BUT WHAT DO THE REAL EXPERTS SAY?

405. RECESS IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN SWING SO HIGH,

406. YOU CAN SEE OVER THE TOPS OF HOUSES.

407. WHERE YOU CAN SLIDE SO FAST,

408. YOU CAN'T EVEN WALK AFTERWARDS.

409. A PLACE WHERE HANGING WITH YOUR FRIENDS

410. REALLY MEANS HANGING WITH YOUR FRIENDS.

411. THE AVERAGE KID SPENDS 1,150 HOURS IN SCHOOL

412. EVERY YEAR,

413. MORE THAN 180 HOURS DOING HOMEWORK,

414. 156 HOURS DOING CHORES,

415. AND ONLY 40 MINUTES A DAY ON THE PLAYGROUND.

416. WE WANT TO BECOME GOOD ADULTS,

417. BUT WE'RE ONLY KIDS FOR A LITTLE WHILE,

418. SO GIVE US A BREAK... PLEASE?

419. Dr. TODAY, SOCIETY STANDS AT A CROSSROADS.

420. DO TODAY'S KIDS HAVE TIME FOR RECESS?

421. YOU BE THE JUDGE.

422. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME?

423. I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. IT'S SOME SORT OF MISTAKE.

424. IN ALL MY YEARS AS AN EDUCATOR,

425. I HAVE NEVER, EVER SEEN SUCH A SPECTACLE. IT'S...

426. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT.

427. BRILLIANT!

428. YOU HEARD HER. IT WAS BRILLIANT, ESPECIALLY YOUR PART, PRICKLY.

429. MOST SENSE YOU'VE MADE IN YEARS.

430. WHERE DID YOU GET THE IDEA OF GIVING CAMERAS TO CHILDREN?

431. ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT YOU WERE A POMPOUS IDIOT, QUILTY,

432. BUT NOW THAT I SEE THIS, LET ME JUST SAY THAT

433. YOU'RE GOING TO BE STUDYING CHILDREN FOR A LONG TIME,

434. A VERY LONG TIME.

435. OH, BUT I DIDN'T...

436. LET'S TAKE MY NEW HEAD OF CHILDREN'S RESEARCH

437. OUT TO LUNCH.

438. I'D BE DELIGHTED.

439. I'M LOOKING FOR A NEW MIDDLE-SCHOOL PRINCIPAL.

440. ANY IDEAS?

441. SIR, I HAVE AN IDEA, SIR.

442. SHUT UP, PRICKLY.

443. WELL, WE DID IT.

444. WE BEAT THE EXPERTS.

445. THEY WON'T BE COMING AROUND HERE ANYMORE.

446. WELL, ALL EXCEPT ONE.

447. COME ON. YEAH, JUST TAKE THE CAMERA

448. AND HOLD IT LIKE THIS, SEE?

449. NO, JUST TAKE IT LIKE THIS AND...

450. OW! QUIT THAT!

451. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

452. NO, COME ON. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

453. WHY ME? WHY ME?