1. Waah!
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2. Aah!
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3. Urp.
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4. Tomato surprise.
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5. Just when you
thought it was safe
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6. to go back in the lunchroom.
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7. Last time I ate this
stuff, my gut was on fire.
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8. It's like acid.
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9. Citric acid, actually,
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10. and a carbon base
electromagnetically heated
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11. to create a synthetic compound
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12. which has some
admirable qualities.
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13. It's okay to eat?
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14. If you let it age,
it can burn concrete.
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15. It doesn't have too
far to go right now.
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16. That's it.
This time they've gone too far.
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17. They've been feeding
us fish sticks
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18. made out of cardboard,
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19. macaroni and cheese stuck
together with paste,
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20. and now this.
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21. It's time we go back there
and find us the good food
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22. they've been keeping
from us all along.
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23. You got to be crazy.
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24. At least I'll be full.
Now, who's with me?
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25. I'm in. I'm in.
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26. Me, too.
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27. Great.
Then let's go get us some food.
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28. Cover me. I'm going in.
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29. Miss finster,
how nice to see you.
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30. T.j. Detweiler, we meet again.
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31. Miss finster: Let's
look at a boy.
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32. Who seems to enjoy
breaking school rules,
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33. a boy who scrawled
crude chalk caricatures
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34. on principal prickly's
door, and now this...
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35. Pilfering food from
the cafeteria kitchen.
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36. What do you suppose we should do
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37. with a boy this bad?
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38. Say, I have an idea...
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39. No recess.
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40. Why doesn't she just
tear out his soul?
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41. Miss finster, miss finster,
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42. those girls over
there said a bad word.
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43. Good boy, Randall.
Here's a cookie.
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44. Psst, t.J.
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45. Hey, guys.
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46. How you holding out?
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47. Keeping busy,
but there is one thing
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48. I'd like you guys to do for me.
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49. What's that?
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50. Get me out of here!
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51. I'm going crazy in
here, you guys.
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52. I've counted the ceiling
tiles 13 times already.
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53. There's 1,678.
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54. Do you hear me? 1,678!
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55. Don't worry, t.J.
We're with you, man.
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56. Yeah, no matter what happens,
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57. we're all in this together.
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58. Hey,
what are you kids doing there?
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59. See ya.
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60. You guys, come back!
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61. Poor t.J.
He's really losing it in there.
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62. A kid without recess...
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63. It's too horrible for words.
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64. I say we bust him out.
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65. An admirable
suggestion, spinelli,
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66. but based on my calculations,
any attempt of rescue
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67. has a 70% likelihood of failure.
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68. Hey, I got an idea.
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69. Let's go ask the guru kid.
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70. Oh, great guru kid,
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71. our friend has been
thrown into detention,
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72. and we know not what to do.
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73. Consider the Bumblebee.
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74. Alone he is worth nothing,
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75. but with his fellow
bees, he becomes a swarm
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76. and enjoys bountiful
quantities of honey.
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77. What's that supposed to mean?
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78. Don't you see? We're the bee.
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79. We can't save t.J.
Alone, but if we had help...
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80. Actually,
he may have something there.
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81. If we were able to get
all of the other kids
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82. on the playground to help us,
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83. our likelihood of success
increases 10% to 15%.
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84. What are we waiting for?
Let's go.
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85. Thanks, guru kid.
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86. Oh, great guru kid,
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87. how can I get an "a"
on my spelling test?
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88. Consider the Bumblebee.
Alone he is worth...
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89. Let me get this straight.
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90. You want me and Sam to
dig under the lunchroom,
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91. break through the
floor, and bust t.J. Out
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92. just so he can have recess?
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93. Um, yeah,
that's about the size of it.
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94. Neat. Neat.
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95. See, I told you
these guys are good.
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96. Sam: Hey, Dave,
you're digging the wrong way.
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97. Dave: What are you, crazy?
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98. Who are you calling
crazy, stupid?
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99. Stupid? I'll show you stupid.
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100. They're not going to help
us, are they?
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101. Not in a million years.
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102. All: Swing, swing, swing, swing!
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103. The swinger's always
up for a new adventure.
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104. What's she doing now?
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105. Trying to go over the
top of the swing set,
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106. to boldly go where no
kid has gone before.
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107. Great, but will she help us?
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108. Sure.
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109. Swinger: Aah!
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110. As soon as she gets
back from the nurse.
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111. I can't believe
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112. we're going to talk
to kindergartners.
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113. No one else will help us.
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114. I've been studying
these primitive grades
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115. for some time now,
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116. and I think I can
communicate with them.
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117. Follow me.
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118. Hello, kindergartners.
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119. We have come from the
land of the big kids
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120. across the wide playground
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121. to ask your help.
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122. I'm going to try
the aluminum foil.
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123. Look, shiny metal.
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124. Do you like the shiny metal?
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125. If you help us,
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126. we'll give you the shiny metal.
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127. What do you say, kindergartners?
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128. Let's eat 'em.
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129. Run!
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130. I don't want to see him, Vince.
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131. I'm scared.
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132. Bob's king of the playground.
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133. If he helps,
the other kids will follow.
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134. He better help,
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135. or he's going to meet
my friend madam fist.
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136. Dealing with a kid
of Bob's stature
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137. takes finesse, not brawn,
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138. so let me do the talking, okay?
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139. O great king Bob,
overseer of the playground,
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140. vizier of the jungle gym,
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141. we come to ask your royal favor.
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142. You see, my liege,
our best friend t.J.
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143. Was caught by the finster.
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144. We got to bust him out.
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145. Hey, get that first
grader off of my sand!
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146. Hey, leave me alone.
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147. What I'm trying to say
here, your highness,
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148. is that we can't do it alone.
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149. Yeah, we really,
really need your help.
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150. You hear that?
The fourth graders need my help.
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151. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
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152. Of course you need my help.
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153. Everyone needs my help.
I'm the king.
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154. Great! So you'll help us?
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155. I didn't say that.
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156. You see,
being king of the playground
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157. is a heavy responsibility.
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158. I make sure the first
graders don't get too uppity.
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159. I make sure us sixth graders
are treated with respect.
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160. I can't be helping every
kid with every problem.
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161. My royal mind is just too busy.
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162. You understand? Too busy!
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163. But, your majesty...
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164. I've got better things to do
than worry about some dumb kid.
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165. Some dumb kid?
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166. Who does he think he is calling t.J.
"Some dumb kid"?
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167. Now, spinelli, you promised.
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168. You sit on your sixth-grade butt
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169. ruling over the playground
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170. like some sort of big shot.
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171. Let me tell you something,
Mr. Playground king...
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172. You're nothing
but some dumb kid.
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173. Spinelli! She didn't mean
that, your highness.
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174. I have to concur with
my violent friend.
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175. Gretchen!
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176. I mean, technically,
she is correct.
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177. Bob is dumb, and he is a kid.
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178. Yeah, and if you think about it,
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179. we're all just some
dumb kid to somebody
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180. in this crazy,
mixed-up universe.
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181. My big brother thinks
I'm some dumb kid.
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182. My mom called me "some
dumb kid" this morning.
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183. Even you've been
called "some dumb kid"
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184. at some time or another,
right, Mr. King Bob, sir?
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185. So next time you go
around calling a guy
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186. "some dumb kid,"
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187. just remember this...
You're one, too.
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188. And let's face it, Bob,
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189. if us dumb kids don't
stand up for each other,
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190. who will?
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191. The girl's right.
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192. Kids of the playground,
the dumb kid should be freed!
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193. 1, 2, 6, 10.
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194. 1, 2, 6, 10.
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195. 1, 2, 6, 10.
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196. Uhh! It's jammed.
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197. Stand back.
I've got just the stuff...
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198. Tomato surprise.
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199. I'm free! I'm free!
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200. T.j.,
what are you doing out there?
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201. What are you guys
doing in there?
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202. Miss finster:
That's my question,
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203. but since you seem so eager
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204. to return to the classroom,
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205. you'll be happy to learn
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206. that recess will be
over just about...
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207. Now.
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208. No. No.
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209. No!
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210. Well, t.J., we did our best.
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211. Sorry we didn't
get to you in time.
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212. You guys did something most
kids wouldn't even try.
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213. You're the best friends
a guy could ever have.
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214. Thanks, teej.
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215. It was a relatively
entertaining recess.
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216. We had upside down girl,
the swinger, the diggers...
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217. Hey, whatever happened
to the diggers anyway?
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218. Okay, t.J., we're here.
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219. Hey, wait a minute.
This isn't our school.
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220. Uh, Dave, do those kids
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221. look like kindergartners to you?
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222. Let's eat 'em.
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223. Come on, little guy.
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224. I don't get it.
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225. I've been waiting
three whole days,
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226. and my little plant
just won't grow.
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227. Hey, did you remember
to put the seed in?
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228. Oops.
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229. Everybody know the plan?
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230. Good. Then let's do it.
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231. Miss grotke, miss grotke.
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232. Do we have a problem
with our assignment?
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233. I'm clear on the postulate
of light and no light.
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234. I'm more interested
in the effects
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235. of nitrogen-enriched soil.
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236. Well, uh, gee, uh, I don't know.
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237. Or perhaps a richer fertilizer
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238. like a nitrophosphorous blend.
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239. I've also heard a rumor about...
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240. What the...
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241. Recess already?
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242. I must be having trouble
with my inner clock.
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243. Oh, well. Class dismissed.
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244. Miss grotke,
lieutenant griswald, usmc,
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245. reporting to deploy my son.
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246. Deploy?
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247. My boy Gustav has been
assigned to your class.
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248. Any guy named Gustav
is bound to be trouble.
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249. We're always happy to
welcome a new student
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250. to our circle of friends.
Where is Gustav?
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251. Private, report!
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252. That's Gustav?
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253. Well, my duty here is done.
Miss grotke, boys and girls.
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254. Welcome to our little
classroom family, Gustav.
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255. Why don't you describe for us
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256. a bit of your personal journey?
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257. Well, my name is Gus,
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258. I've been to 12 schools
in the past 6 years,
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259. and my only friend is a
pet snake named Herbert.
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260. Uh, miss grotke?
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261. Yes, Willie?
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262. Can we go to recess now?
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263. Why, certainly.
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264. Excuse me, but isn't it
kind of early for recess?
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265. It's part of our daily ritual.
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266. We always go to recess at 10:00.
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267. But it's only...
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268. I'll show you around.
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269. Darn solar watches.
I'm going to stop buying
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270. out of the whole planet catalog.
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271. Now over there is
the jock section.
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272. You could get a nasty wedgie
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273. if you catch them in a bad mood.
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274. T.j.,
can I speak to you in private?
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275. Sure. You guys introduce
Gus to the bug-eating kid.
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276. You're not even supposed
to talk to a kid like him.
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277. A kid like him?
What do you mean?
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278. You know, a new kid.
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279. I'm not going to say anything.
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280. The rest of the class isn't
going to say anything.
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281. Who's going to know?
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282. Over there is where they
keep the kindergartners.
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283. You wouldn't want
to go over there.
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284. I'll say.
Last kid who wandered over there,
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285. they never saw him again.
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286. It's all right.
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287. He might have just
got transferred.
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288. No, it's not that.
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289. I've been to 12
schools in 6 years,
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290. and nobody's ever been
so nice to me before.
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291. It's so beautiful.
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292. There, there, little guy.
Things are different now.
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293. Yeah. Here you'll
always have friends.
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294. Sixth graders!
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295. Who...
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296. Who's that?
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297. King Bob. Just act real humble.
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298. Don't say you're a...
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299. Halt! Who are you?
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300. Hey, there, Bob,
your majesty, sir.
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301. This is Gus griswald.
He's, uh, well...
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302. I'm a new kid.
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303. We haven't had a new
kid around here lately.
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304. Where's the old new kid?
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305. Here, your highness.
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306. New kid,
you are no longer the new kid.
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307. From now on, you are...
You are...
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308. Morris p. Hingle.
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309. You are Morris p. Hingle again.
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310. Thank you.
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311. Okay, you're welcome.
Easy on the ring, huh?
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312. I got a name! I got a name!
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313. I'm not a nobody anymore! Whoo!
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314. Behold! We have a new new kid.
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315. From now on,
he will be known as the new kid,
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316. the new kid, and nothing else.
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317. Ha ha ha. How bad can it be?
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318. Watch it, new kid.
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319. Move aside, new kid.
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320. Out of the way, new kid.
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321. Come on, new kid.
I don't got all day.
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322. Taken. Taken.
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323. Taken.
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324. But where am I supposed to sit?
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325. Willie. Here.
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326. Megan. Here.
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327. New kid.
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328. Here.
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329. Hmm. I'll take petey.
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330. I'll take Phil.
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331. I'll take Dwayne.
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332. Okay, that's everybody.
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333. Uh, what about me?
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334. Huh? Oh, sorry, but according
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335. to the constitution
of the playground,
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336. section three, paragraph
two, under kickball...
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337. Ahem... "No new kids."
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338. No!
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339. Look at the bright side.
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340. Lots of people have gone
through life without names,
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341. and they've done fine.
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342. Oh, yeah? Like who?
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343. Well, like the artist
formerly known as prince,
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344. the unknown soldier,
the other four guys in the Jackson five.
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345. I might as well face it.
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346. I'm nothing but a loser,
a kid with no name.
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347. Even my snake won't look
me in the eye anymore.
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348. See you guys later,
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349. if I don't shrivel up
and blow away first.
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350. Dust in the wind...
All we are is dust in the wind.
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351. That kid is really
starting to bug me.
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352. How would you feel if
they took away your name?
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353. Rules or no rules,
I wish we could help the guy.
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354. Maybe we can help him.
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355. What are you talking
about, t.J.?
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356. Maybe we can give
him back his name.
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357. I got some favors I can call in.
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358. A lot of kids would
do it for nothing.
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359. He'll never be
the new kid again.
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360. He'll be... he'll be...
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361. What was his name again?
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362. Fat man to little boy...
Elvis has left the building.
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363. Roger. Little boy standing by.
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364. Roger. Lucky lady standing by.
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365. Roger. Music man standing by.
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366. Roger already.
Let's get this show on the road.
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367. Okay, operation Gustav is a go.
Move, move, move!
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368. How's it going, Gus?
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369. Oh, uh, fine, you know.
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370. Hi, Gus.
Looks like it's going to be.
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371. A beautiful day, eh, Gus?
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372. Hop on the bus, Gus.
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373. Hey, Gus.
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374. What's happening, Gus?
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375. Sit next to me, Gus.
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376. What's going on here?
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377. Going on?
Why, nothing's going on, Gus.
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378. Right this way, Gus.
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379. Children: 2, 4, 6, 8,
who do we appreciate?
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380. Gus! Gus! Gus!
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381. Gee, maybe I am
more than a new kid.
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382. Maybe I am somebody.
Maybe I really do have a name!
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383. Sixth graders!
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384. But...
But you guys all know me...
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385. Billy, Rachel, Clarice.
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386. What about you guys?
You know who I am, right?
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387. How can we know who you are
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388. if you don't even know who you
are, new kid?
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389. I am not a new kid.
I am a human being.
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390. Don't tell us. Tell him.
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391. All right, I will.
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392. Children: Gus, Gus,
Gus, Gus, Gus, Gus,
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393. Gus, Gus, Gus, Gus,
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394. Gus, Gus, Gus.
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395. Hey, who's blocking
the way down there?
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396. Oh, it's you, new kid.
Move aside.
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397. Sorry, Bob, not this time.
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398. What?
You can't talk to me like that.
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399. Oh, yeah? Well, just watch me.
Copy !req
400. All my life I've been
treated like a nobody,
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401. ignored by kids because
they didn't know me,
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402. given the worst stuff because
everybody else got there first,
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403. made to eat paste.
Copy !req
404. And why?
Just because I was the new kid.
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405. Then I come to this school,
and for the first time,
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406. a bunch of kids treat
me like a friend.
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407. Then you came along and
made me a nobody again.
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408. Well, you listen here, Bob.
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409. Who graduated and made you king?
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410. I am not a nobody.
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411. I am a somebody.
I am Gus p. Griswald.
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412. You hear me? Gus p. Griswald!
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413. So what's your point?
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414. Well, I want my name back.
That's my point.
Copy !req
415. Okay,
you can have your name back.
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416. What do you want, a parade?
Get out of the way!
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417. You hear that?
I got my name back.
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418. I'm not a nobody.
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419. I got a name. I got a name!
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420. Gus! Gus! Gus!
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421. But it's not fair.
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422. He only had to be the
new kid for a few days.
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423. I had to do it for
three whole years.
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424. Hey, you should
have said something.
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