1. YAY!Copy !req
2. WAAH!Copy !req
3. UHH!Copy !req
4. AAH!Copy !req
5. THIS IS THE ARKANSAS
STANDARD ACHIEVEMENT TEST,Copy !req
6. THE MOST POWERFUL
ACHIEVEMENT TEST IN THE WORLD,Copy !req
7. SO POWERFUL I RECKON IT CAN
BLOW YOUR MINDS CLEAN AWAY.Copy !req
8. NOW THE QUESTION IS...Copy !req
9. DO YOU FEEL LUCKY?
WELL, DO YOU, PUNKS?Copy !req
10. THE OLD LADY'S
BEEN WATCHINGCopy !req
11. TOO MANY CLINT EASTWOOD
MOVIES AGAIN.Copy !req
12. WHAT MISS FINSTER'S
TRYING TO SAY ISCopy !req
13. EVERY YEAR WE GIVE
THE FOURTH GRADERSCopy !req
14. THIS STANDARDIZED TEST.Copy !req
15. YOU GET 45 MINUTES.
IT'S NOT FOR A GRADE,Copy !req
16. SO THERE'S NOTHING
TO BE AFRAID OF.Copy !req
17. YOU'RE A WIMP,
YOU KNOW THAT, GROTKEY?Copy !req
18. READY? BEGIN.Copy !req
19. I CAN'T GET ANY
OF THE ANSWERS.Copy !req
20. FORGET ABOUT THE ANSWERS.
I CAN'T GET THE QUESTIONS.Copy !req
21. WELL, GROTKEY, MIGHT
AS WELL TAKE A LOAD OFF.Copy !req
22. THIS IS GOING TO BE ONE LONG
45 MINUTES. LATTé?Copy !req
23. EXCUSE ME, MS. GROTKEY.Copy !req
24. NO QUESTIONS ALLOWED.Copy !req
25. BUT, MS. GROTKEY, I'M DONE.Copy !req
26. BUT, GRETCHEN, IT HASN'T
EVEN BEEN FIVE MINUTES.Copy !req
27. UH...Copy !req
28. SORRY.Copy !req
29. MAN, WHAT WERE THEY
TRYING TO DO TO US?Copy !req
30. FIRST THEY MAKE US READ
SOME DUMB STORY,Copy !req
31. THEN THEY ASK US
THE CAPITAL OF MONTANA.Copy !req
32. IF I EVER GET MY HANDS
ON THE GUY WHO CAME UPCopy !req
33. WITH THAT STUPID TEST,
I'LL KICK HIS BUTT ALL...Copy !req
34. HELENA.Copy !req
35. THE CAPITAL OF MONTANA,
IT'S HELENA.Copy !req
36. YOU KNEW THAT ONE?Copy !req
37. OF COURSE.Copy !req
38. GRETCHEN KNEW
EVERY QUESTION.Copy !req
39. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT
EVERY QUESTION, BUT I DID WELL.Copy !req
40. YEAH, YOU PROBABLY DID.Copy !req
41. THAT'S WHAT STINKY PETERSON
THOUGHT, TOO.Copy !req
42. STINKY PETERSON?Copy !req
43. I DIDN'T EVEN CONSIDER
THAT POSSIBILITY.Copy !req
44. HEY, DON'T SCARE HER.Copy !req
45. THIS IS NOTHING
LIKE STINKY PETERSON.Copy !req
46. WHO'S STINKY PETERSON?Copy !req
47. WELL, STINKY PETERSONCopy !req
48. WAS THIS REALLY SMART KID,
JUST LIKE GRETCHEN.Copy !req
49. HE BURNED THROUGH HIS TEST
SO FAST,Copy !req
50. EVERYBODY WAS SURE HE ACED IT,Copy !req
51. BUT THEN TWO DAYS LATER,Copy !req
52. SOMETHING
REALLY WEIRD HAPPENED.Copy !req
53. RIGHT WHEN MS. GROTKEYCopy !req
54. WAS ABOUT TO CALL STINKY'S NAME
AT ROLL CALL,Copy !req
55. MS. LEMON SHOWED UP.Copy !req
56. SHE TOOK HIM
TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE,Copy !req
57. AND THEY NEVER SAW
STINKY PETERSON AGAIN.Copy !req
58. WOW.Copy !req
59. SOME KIDS SAY STINKY DID
SO POORLY ON HIS TEST,Copy !req
60. THEY SENT HIM ALL THE WAY
BACK TO KINDERGARTEN.Copy !req
61. THAT CAN
NEVER HAPPEN TO YOU.Copy !req
62. YOU'RE WAY TOO SMART.Copy !req
63. SURE. YOU ACED
THAT TEST NO PROBLEM.Copy !req
64. EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T,Copy !req
65. FINGER PAINTING'S FUN
AND YOU GET LOTS OF NAPS.Copy !req
66. HERE.
RALPH EGGLESTON?Copy !req
67. HERE.
CARLA FONG?Copy !req
68. GRETCHEN GRUN...Copy !req
69. AH, MS. LEMON, COME IN.Copy !req
70. PRICKLY SENT ME
DOWN HERE TO GET...Copy !req
71. YOUR ATTENDANCE SHEET...
AND HER!Copy !req
72. COME ON. COME ON.
I DON'T GOT ALL DAY.Copy !req
73. I SUPPOSE YOU KNOW
WHY I BROUGHT YOU HERE.Copy !req
74. IT'S THE TEST, ISN'T IT?
LET ME TAKE IT AGAIN.Copy !req
75. JUST PLEASE DON'T SEND ME
BACK TO KINDERGARTEN.Copy !req
76. HUH? YOU'RE NOT GOING
BACK TO KINDERGARTEN.Copy !req
77. YOU MEAN I PASSED?Copy !req
78. PASSED? YOU GOT
A PERFECT SCORE.Copy !req
79. WE HAVEN'T SEEN SCORES
LIKE YOURSCopy !req
80. SINCE STINKY PETERSON.Copy !req
81. OH, WELL,
THAT'S DIFFERENT THEN.Copy !req
82. YOU'RE A GENIUS,
A PRODIGY.Copy !req
83. IN FACT, YOU'RE MY PRODIGY,Copy !req
84. WHICH MEANS, GRETCH,
YOU'RE GOING TO OPPENHEIMER.Copy !req
85. OPPENHEIMER ELEMENTARY
FOR THE EXTREMELY GIFTED?Copy !req
86. YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT.
YOU'LL GET TONS OF HOMEWORK,Copy !req
87. REALLY BIG BOOKS
WITH TEENY, TINY PRINT.Copy !req
88. I'M FLATTERED,
PRINCIPAL PRICKLY,Copy !req
89. BUT THAT'S
REALLY NOT POSSIBLE.Copy !req
90. I CAN'T LEAVE MY FRIENDS.Copy !req
91. YOU'LL MAKE NEW FRIENDS.Copy !req
92. THEY'LL BE EGGHEADS
LIKE YOU.Copy !req
93. ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS PASS
THE REVIEW BOARD,Copy !req
94. AND YOU'RE HOME FREE.Copy !req
95. RATTLE OFF SOME NUMBERS,
ANSWER A FEW QUESTIONS,Copy !req
96. AND YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY
TO OPPENHEIMER.Copy !req
97. GET OUT THERE
AND STUDY, STUDY, STUDY.Copy !req
98. ONE MORE STUDENT AT OPPENHEIMERCopy !req
99. AND THAT MIDDLE SCHOOL
PRINCIPAL JOB IS MINE.Copy !req
100. NO!Copy !req
101. THEY CAN'T DO THIS
TO YOU.Copy !req
102. TELL YOUR MOM AND DAD.Copy !req
103. I CALLED MY MOMCopy !req
104. AS SOON AS I LEFT
THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE.Copy !req
105. SHE'S BEEN DOING
BACK FLIPS EVER SINCE.Copy !req
106. THERE'S GOT TO BE
SOMETHING WE CAN DO.Copy !req
107. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
ALL GOING TO SAY,Copy !req
108. AND I WANT TO THANK YOU
IN ADVANCE,Copy !req
109. BUT IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I JUST NEED SOME TIME ALONE.Copy !req
110. GOODBYE, SWING SET.Copy !req
111. GOODBYE, GRAFFITI.Copy !req
112. GOODBYE,
RANCID FISH STICKS.Copy !req
113. HOW I'LL MISS THEE.Copy !req
114. GRETCHEN!Copy !req
115. WE KNOW HOW TO KEEP YOU FROM
GOING TO THAT OTHER SCHOOL.Copy !req
116. MIKEY THOUGHT OF IT.Copy !req
117. IT CAME TO ME LIKE LIGHTNING.Copy !req
118. READY?
WHAT IF YOU WERE DUMB?Copy !req
119. I'M SORRY, T.J., BUT FOR ONCE,
I'M REALLY NOT FOLLOWING YOU.Copy !req
120. THERE'S THAT
PANEL REVIEW, RIGHT?Copy !req
121. WHAT IF WHEN YOU
SHOWED UP,Copy !req
122. YOU DIDN'T ACT LIKE
THE SMART KID YOU ARE,Copy !req
123. YOU ACTED LIKE
THE DUMB KID YOU AREN'T?Copy !req
124. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DUMB
MYSELF DOWN SINCE KINDERGARTEN.Copy !req
125. IT HASN'T WORKED SO FAR.Copy !req
126. BUT THIS TIME YOU GOT
EXPERTS ON YOUR SIDE.Copy !req
127. WHAT HAVE I GOT TO LOSE?Copy !req
128. HOW MANY MILES
TO THE SUN?Copy !req
129. 92,000,900,000.Copy !req
130. GRETCHEN!Copy !req
131. THAT WAS RIGHT.Copy !req
132. OOPS.Copy !req
133. WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO DOCopy !req
134. IS MAKE GRETCHEN LOOK
LIKE A REGULAR DUMB KID.Copy !req
135. ANY IDEAS, ASHLEY B.?Copy !req
136. I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DO
YOU THINK, ASHLEY Q.?Copy !req
137. LIKE, I DON'T KNOW.
ANY IDEAS, ASHLEY T.?Copy !req
138. I HAVE AN IDEA.Copy !req
139. IT'S NOT QUITE THE LOOK
WE'RE GOING FOR.Copy !req
140. COLUMBUS' SHIPS WERE...Copy !req
141. THE NIÑA, PINTA,
AND SANTA MARIA.Copy !req
142. PLANTS GET ENERGY BY...Copy !req
143. PHOTOSYNTHESIS.Copy !req
144. OH.Copy !req
145. WHAT IS THE CAPITAL
OF MONTANA?Copy !req
146. HEL... NEW YORK CITY?Copy !req
147. WHAT WAS THAT?Copy !req
148. NEW YORK CITY.Copy !req
149. AGAIN.Copy !req
150. NEW YORK CITY.Copy !req
151. I THINK SHE'S GOT IT.Copy !req
152. GRETCHEN?Copy !req
153. YOU CAN FAIL, GRETCHEN!
I KNOW YOU CAN.Copy !req
154. AH, HERE'S
MY LITTLE GENIUS NOW.Copy !req
155. WHAT THE... GRETCHEN?Copy !req
156. YO, PRICKLY.Copy !req
157. THIS ISCopy !req
158. YOUR OPPENHEIMER
CANDIDATE?Copy !req
159. SHE DOESN'T USUALLY
DRESS THIS WAY.Copy !req
160. IT'S JUST FOR LUCK.Copy !req
161. SILENCE, PLEASE.Copy !req
162. YES, OF COURSE,
NO MORE TALKING.Copy !req
163. ARE YOU READY,
MS. GRUNDLER?Copy !req
164. WHATEVER, DUDE.Copy !req
165. WHAT IS
THE PYTHAGOREAN THEOREM?Copy !req
166. A RACEHORSE?Copy !req
167. AHEM.Copy !req
168. WHO IS THE FATHER
OF MODERN MEDICINE?Copy !req
169. DR. SEUSS?Copy !req
170. WHEN WAS THE THIRD ICE AGE?Copy !req
171. RIGHT AFTER
THE FIRST AND SECOND?Copy !req
172. HA HA HA.Copy !req
173. SHE'S 3 FOR 3.Copy !req
174. WHO WAS THE FIRST PERSON
TO REACH THE NORTH POLE?Copy !req
175. SANTA CLAUS.Copy !req
176. WHO WAS THE 14th PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES?Copy !req
177. DENNIS RODMAN.Copy !req
178. WHAT'S 2 PLUS 2?Copy !req
179. 30?Copy !req
180. IS THIS A JOKE?Copy !req
181. IT'S NOT MY FAULT.Copy !req
182. SHE MUST HAVE CHEATED
ON THAT TEST.Copy !req
183. I'LL SEE TO YOUR
IMMEDIATE SUSPENSION...Copy !req
184. THE SQUARE OF THE LENGTH
OF THE HYPOTENUSECopy !req
185. OF A RIGHT TRIANGLE EQUALS
THE SUM OF THE SQUARED LENGTHSCopy !req
186. OF THE OTHER TWO SIDES...Copy !req
187. WHAT'S SHE DOING?Copy !req
188. SHE'S ANSWERING
ALL THE QUESTIONS.Copy !req
189. WITH INCREDIBLE ACCURACY.Copy !req
190. IN PRECISE ORDER.Copy !req
191. ROBERT EDWARD PARRY,
APRIL 6, 1909,Copy !req
192. FRANKLIN PIERCE, 4.Copy !req
193. SHE'S BRILLIANT.Copy !req
194. SHE'S MAGNIFICENT.Copy !req
195. SHE'S DOOMED.Copy !req
196. MY DEAR,Copy !req
197. WHY IN HEAVENS WERE YOU
HIDING YOUR GENIUS?Copy !req
198. BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GO
TO OPPENHEIMER. DON'T MAKE ME.Copy !req
199. SHE'S A GENIUS.
SHIP HER OUT.Copy !req
200. PRINCIPAL PRICKLY,Copy !req
201. COULD YOU LEAVE US ALONE
FOR A MINUTE? NOW.Copy !req
202. WHAT ARE YOU KIDS
DOING HERE?Copy !req
203. WELL?Copy !req
204. IT'S ALL SETTLED.Copy !req
205. SHE'S GOING TO
OPPENHEIMER?Copy !req
206. NOPE, I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE.Copy !req
207. YAY!Copy !req
208. SHE PUT FORTH HER CASE
MOST ELOQUENTLYCopy !req
209. AND PERSUADED US
THERE IS MORE TO EDUCATIONCopy !req
210. THAN WHAT ONE LEARNS
FROM BOOKS.Copy !req
211. WHAT ABOUT MY PROMOTION?
I MEAN, GRETCHEN'S FUTURE.Copy !req
212. A MIND IS A TERRIBLE THING
TO WASTE.Copy !req
213. WHICH BRINGS US
TO OUR NEXT POINT...Copy !req
214. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED STARTING
A TUTORIAL PROGRAM?Copy !req
215. YOU'VE GOT AN EXCELLENT
RESOURCE IN MS. GRUNDLER.Copy !req
216. HMM. A TUTORIAL PROGRAM.Copy !req
217. THAT'S THE KIND
OF FORWARD THINKINGCopy !req
218. THE SUPERINTENDENT
IS ALWAYS LOOKING FORCopy !req
219. IN HIS MIDDLE SCHOOL PRINCIPALS.
KIDS TEACHING KIDS... I LOVE IT.Copy !req
220. WELL, THAT'S NOT EXACTLY
WHAT WE HAD IN MIND.Copy !req
221. THANKS TO THIS
STUDY BUDDY PROGRAM,Copy !req
222. WE'RE NEVER GOING
TO HAVE TO WORRYCopy !req
223. ABOUT GRETCHEN
LEAVING AGAIN.Copy !req
224. PLFFT!Copy !req
225. AH.Copy !req
226. YOU DID YOUR BEST.
THAT'S ALL WE COULD ASK.Copy !req
227. MAN, HE SURE IS CUTE.Copy !req
228. CUTE BUT FAST.
LOOK HOW QUICK HE RUNSCopy !req
229. WHEN I SQUEAK
HIS RUBBER CARROT.Copy !req
230. GO, SPEEDY, GO!Copy !req
231. WATER BREAK. DISTILLED WATER
FROM MR. GERMAINE'S LAB.Copy !req
232. AND LET'S NOT FORGET
HIS FRIDAY TREAT...Copy !req
233. VITAMIN-FORTIFIED
HAMSTER CROUTONS.Copy !req
234. GARLIC-FLAVORED
ARE HIS FAVORITE.Copy !req
235. HEY, SLOW DOWN, SPEEDY.Copy !req
236. YOU'VE GOT TO
PACE YOURSELF,Copy !req
237. OR THEY WON'T LAST
THE WEEKEND.Copy !req
238. OKAY, PEOPLE.
HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND.Copy !req
239. REMEMBER, MONDAY IS
POSITIVE ENERGY DAY.Copy !req
240. BYE, SPEEDY.Copy !req
241. SIXTH GRADE'S
GOT THE GARTER SNAKE,Copy !req
242. FIFTH GRADE'S
GOT THE HORNY TOAD,Copy !req
243. BUT WE GOT SPEEDY.Copy !req
244. WOULD YOU GUYS HURRY UP?Copy !req
245. WE GOT SOME
MAJOR PLAYING TO DO.Copy !req
246. TAKE IT EASY, BIG GUY.Copy !req
247. GOOD MORNING, PEOPLE.Copy !req
248. GOOD MORNING,
MISS GROTKE.Copy !req
249. RISE AND SHINE, SPEEDY.
IT'S MONDAY.Copy !req
250. SPEEDY?Copy !req
251. HEY, SPEEDY, WAKE UP!Copy !req
252. WHAT'S WRONG, MIKEY?Copy !req
253. SPEEDY'S JUST LYING THERE.Copy !req
254. PERHAPS HE'S SICK.Copy !req
255. NAH, HE'S JUST TIRED,
THAT'S ALL.Copy !req
256. HE HAD A BIG WEEKEND,Copy !req
257. SITTING AROUND, SLEEPING,
EATING CROUTONS.Copy !req
258. BUT, T.J., HE DIDN'T EAT
HIS CROUTONS.Copy !req
259. DON'T PANIC, PEOPLE.
I'M SURE SPEEDY'S FINE.Copy !req
260. HE'S PROBABLY IN SOME SORT
OF HAMSTER HIBERNATION.Copy !req
261. BUT, MRS. GROTKE,
HAMSTERS DON'T HIBERNATE.Copy !req
262. OH, WELL, THEN, UM,Copy !req
263. PERHAPS HE'S MEDITATING.Copy !req
264. MEDITATION IS A GREAT WAY
TO START YOUR DAY.Copy !req
265. OH, NO!
SPEEDY'S NOT MEDITATING.Copy !req
266. HE'S... HE'S...Copy !req
267. SPEEDY'S DEAD!Copy !req
268. TWO OUT, NOBODY ON.
PLAY'S TO FIRST.Copy !req
269. HEY, AM I THE ONLY ONE
PLAYING HERE?Copy !req
270. SORRY, SPINELLI.Copy !req
271. I CAN'T KEEP MY MIND
OFF SPEEDY.Copy !req
272. I KEEP THINKING ABOUT HOW
HE USED TO RUN ALL DAY.Copy !req
273. HE USED TO TICKLE MY FACE
WITH HIS WHISKERS.Copy !req
274. HE USED TO ZIP THROUGH
MY MAZE WITHOUT GETTING LOST.Copy !req
275. I KEPT TRYING TO TELL MYSELF
HE WAS JUST A HUNK OF DNA,Copy !req
276. BUT WHO AM I KIDDING?
SPEEDY WAS SPECIAL.Copy !req
277. HE WAS A HAMSTER.
GO TO THE PET STORE.Copy !req
278. THEY GOT A MILLION OF THEM.
THEY'RE ALL THE SAME.Copy !req
279. MAYBE TO YOU, SPINELLI,
BUT TO ME HE WAS SPECIAL.Copy !req
280. HE WAS MY FRIEND,
AND I-I KILLED HIM!Copy !req
281. I PUSHED HIM TOO HARD
WITH THAT SQUEAKY CARROT.Copy !req
282. OH, COME ON, MIKEY.
IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.Copy !req
283. I GAVE HIM THAT STUPID
DISTILLED WATER.Copy !req
284. NO, IT WAS THOSE
GARLIC CROUTONS!Copy !req
285. HIS LITTLE HEART COULDN'T
TAKE SO MUCH SEASONING.Copy !req
286. IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER,
YOU ALL KILLED HIM, OKAY?Copy !req
287. IT WAS NOBODY'S FAULT.Copy !req
288. IT WAS JUST
HIS TIME TO GO.Copy !req
289. I KNOW.Copy !req
290. I WISH I COULD HAVE SAID
GOODBYE TO THE LITTLE GUY.Copy !req
291. TOO LATE NOW.Copy !req
292. SAYS WHO?Copy !req
293. IT SEEMS
PRETTY OBVIOUS, T.J.Copy !req
294. HEY, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE
TO SAY GOODBYE.Copy !req
295. SPEEDY WAS OUR GOOD FRIEND.
I SAY WE GIVE HIM A FUNERAL.Copy !req
296. A FUNERAL FOR A HAMSTER?Copy !req
297. GIVE THE LITTLE GUY
A PROPER SEND-OFF.Copy !req
298. A MEMORIAL SERVICE
TO SHARE OUR SENTIMENTS.Copy !req
299. WE'LL GET SOME OTHER KIDS
TO HELP US.Copy !req
300. LET'S DO IT.Copy !req
301. WHY DO I HAVE A FEELING
MY RECESS JUST GOT WRECKED?Copy !req
302. SORRY, GUYS.
WE'RE BOOKED SOLID.Copy !req
303. WE GOT A BOMB SHELTER
FOR THAT NEW SCIENCE TEACHER.Copy !req
304. BUT THIS IS FOR SPEEDY.Copy !req
305. THE HAMSTER?
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?Copy !req
306. YEAH. SPEEDY WAS
A GREAT DIGGER.Copy !req
307. WE'D BE HONORED.Copy !req
308. A FUNERAL FOR A HAMSTER?Copy !req
309. WELL, I DO NEED
A NEW DRESS.Copy !req
310. SOMETHING BLACK.Copy !req
311. PLUS A HAT WITH A VEIL.Copy !req
312. I'LL GET A SCARF.Copy !req
313. AND SHOES.Copy !req
314. AND MATCHING BAGS.Copy !req
315. THIS IS THE BEST PLOT
IN THE PLAYGROUND.Copy !req
316. SOMETHING LIKE THIS
WOULD SET YOU BACK,Copy !req
317. BUT BECAUSE IT'S FOR SPEEDY,Copy !req
318. YOU CAN HAVE MY ALL-IN-ONE
BURIAL PACKAGECopy !req
319. AT A MERE 2 BUCKS
OVER COST.Copy !req
320. YOU GOT YOURSELF A DEAL.Copy !req
321. I'M NOT COUGHING UP
MY MILK MONEYCopy !req
322. TO BURY A HAIRBALL.Copy !req
323. IT'S FOR SPEEDY.Copy !req
324. HEY! WHAT DO YOU KIDS
THINK YOU'RE DOING?Copy !req
325. WHOOPS. GOT TO GO.Copy !req
326. HEY, KING BOB,
YOUR HIGHNESS.Copy !req
327. WE WERE JUST...Copy !req
328. DIGGING A HOLE.Copy !req
329. DIGGING A HOLE
IN SIXTH GRADE TERRITORY?Copy !req
330. HOW DARE YOU? TAKE THEM
TO THE DODGE BALL WALL.Copy !req
331. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND,
YOUR MAJESTY.Copy !req
332. WE'RE HAVING A FUNERAL
FOR SPEEDY.Copy !req
333. FOR SPEEDY THE HAMSTER?Copy !req
334. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
HE WAS SICK.Copy !req
335. WHY, WHEN I WAS A MERE
FOURTH GRADER LIKE YOURSELVES,Copy !req
336. I USED TO TALK TO SPEEDYCopy !req
337. AND TELL HIM
MY HOPES AND DREAMS.Copy !req
338. OF COURSE YOU CAN
BURY SPEEDY HERE.Copy !req
339. IN FACT, I, KING BOB,
WILL GIVE THE EULOGY.Copy !req
340. WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE?
HAVE YOU ALL GONE INSANE?Copy !req
341. IT'S A HAMSTER...Copy !req
342. A DUMB, LITTLE,
INSIGNIFICANTCopy !req
343. $2.58 HAMSTER!Copy !req
344. WHAT'S EATING HER?Copy !req
345. HOW COULD ONE HAMSTER
HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS?Copy !req
346. AHEM. KIDS OF THE PLAYGROUND,Copy !req
347. WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY
TO SAY GOODBYE TO SPEEDY.Copy !req
348. SPEEDY WAS MORE THAN A HAMSTER.
HE WAS A FRIEND.Copy !req
349. HEY, ARE WE LATE?Copy !req
350. AND YOU ARE...Copy !req
351. CAPTAIN OF THE HIGH SCHOOL
FOOTBALL TEAM.Copy !req
352. ME AND THE GUYS CAME
AS SOON AS WE HEARD.Copy !req
353. WE KNEW SPEEDY
IN THE FOURTH GRADE.Copy !req
354. HE USED TO BE
LIKE A MASCOT TO US.Copy !req
355. OKAY, FINE.
STAND OVER THERE.Copy !req
356. WAY OVER THERE.Copy !req
357. ANYWAY, FOR SOME OF US,
SPEEDY WAS A FRIEND,Copy !req
358. FOR OTHERS, A MASCOT.Copy !req
359. SO, DID WE MISS ANYTHING?Copy !req
360. YOU BUS DRIVERS
KNEW SPEEDY, TOO?Copy !req
361. SURE. BACK IN FOURTH GRADE,Copy !req
362. WE PLAYED WITH SPEEDY MORE
THAN WE PLAYED WITH CARS.Copy !req
363. FINE. JUST STAND OVER THERE
WITH THE BIG BLUBBERING GUY.Copy !req
364. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING,Copy !req
365. A FRIEND, A MASCOT,
A PLAYMATE...Copy !req
366. SPEEDY WAS ALL OF THIS AND MORE.
IN FACT...Copy !req
367. I'VE COME TO PAY MY RESPECTS
TO A GREAT HAMSTER.Copy !req
368. MAYOR FITZHUGH,
YOU KNEW SPEEDY?Copy !req
369. KNEW HIM? I OWE EVERYTHING
TO THIS LITTLE GUY.Copy !req
370. BACK WHEN I WAS
A FOURTH GRADER,Copy !req
371. THIS LITTLE HAMSTER
WAS MY ONLY FRIEND.Copy !req
372. HE NEVER LAUGHED AT MY HOPES,
AT MY DREAMS.Copy !req
373. HE JUST RAN ROUND
IN HIS LITTLE WHEEL,Copy !req
374. TELLING ME IN HIS SILENT WAY,
"KEEP MOVING, FITZHUGH.Copy !req
375. KEEP MOVING,
AND THEY'LL NEVER INDICT YOU."Copy !req
376. THANKS, SPEEDY.
I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU.Copy !req
377. 1956? THAT'S MORE
THAN 40 YEARS AGO.Copy !req
378. ANYWAY, LIKE I'VE BEEN
TRYING TO SAY,Copy !req
379. FRIEND, MASCOT,
PLAYMATE, SOUL MATE,Copy !req
380. SPEEDY MEANT A BUNCH OF STUFF
TO A LOT OF US, AND, WELL...Copy !req
381. AH, HECK, JUST BURY
THE LITTLE FLUFF BALL.Copy !req
382. NO! TAKE ME, TOO!Copy !req
383. GOOD SWEET MIKE!Copy !req
384. SPINELLI,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
385. I LOVED
THE LITTLE RAT, OKAY?Copy !req
386. I LOVED EVERYTHING...
HIS NOSE, HIS PAWS.Copy !req
387. I'LL NEVER FORGETCopy !req
388. THE FIRST DAY
HE LOOKED UP AT MECopy !req
389. WITH THOSE EYES,
AND I SAW LOVE.Copy !req
390. THAT'S RIGHT, LOVE!Copy !req
391. I'LL NEVER LOVE
ANOTHER HAMSTER AGAIN.Copy !req
392. LEAVE US ALONE!Copy !req
393. SPEEDY! SPEEDY!Copy !req
394. SPEEDY?Copy !req
395. HEY, DID SPEEDY ALWAYS HAVE
A SPOT UNDER HIS CHIN?Copy !req
396. SPOT UNDER HIS CHIN?Copy !req
397. SPEEDY HAD A STRIPE
DOWN HIS BACK.Copy !req
398. SPEEDY HAD WHITE PAWS
LIKE RUNNING SHOES.Copy !req
399. RUNNING SHOES?Copy !req
400. SPEEDY WAS BROWN
FROM HEAD TO TOE.Copy !req
401. HEY, THIS ONE'S FEMALE!Copy !req
402. THE ONE IN THE PICTURE
IS A GIRL,Copy !req
403. BUT THE SPEEDY
I ALWAYS KNEW WAS A BOY.Copy !req
404. THEY'RE NOT
THE SAME HAMSTER!Copy !req
405. B-BUT HOW CAN THIS BE?Copy !req
406. Miss Grotke:
PERHAPS I CAN EXPLAIN.Copy !req
407. MISS GROTKE?Copy !req
408. YOU SEE, THE AVERAGE HAMSTERCopy !req
409. ONLY HANGS OUT ON THIS PLANET
FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS,Copy !req
410. AND WE TEACHERS WEREN'T SURECopy !req
411. IF YOU KIDS COULD HANDLE
THE METAPHYSICAL RAMIFICATIONSCopy !req
412. OF, YOU KNOW, DEATH.Copy !req
413. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING
TO SAY, MISS GROTKE?Copy !req
414. WELL, IT'S LIKE THIS...Copy !req
415. FROM THE DAY THIS SCHOOL
WAS BUILT,Copy !req
416. EVERY FOURTH GRADE CLASS
HAS HAD A HAMSTER NAMED SPEEDY,Copy !req
417. AND WHENEVER ONE DIED,Copy !req
418. WE TEACHERS
WOULD SECRETLY REPLACE ITCopy !req
419. WITH A NEW ONE
BEFORE YOU FOUND OUT.Copy !req
420. YOU MEAN
YOU LIED TO US?Copy !req
421. "LIE" IS A HARSH WORD.Copy !req
422. I PREFER TO SAY
WE MASSAGED REALITY.Copy !req
423. THAT EXPLAINS IT.
TO HAVE KNOWN THESE PEOPLE,Copy !req
424. SPEEDY WOULD HAVE TO HAVE
BEEN ALIVE FOR DECADES.Copy !req
425. THIS ISN'T MY SPEEDY.Copy !req
426. OR MINE.Copy !req
427. OR MINE.Copy !req
428. COME ON, GUYS, LET'S GO.Copy !req
429. WAIT!Copy !req
430. DON'T TRY AND STOP US.
WE COULD BECOME AN UGLY MOB.Copy !req
431. NOW HOLD ON.
YOU'RE ACTING LIKE BABIES.Copy !req
432. I AM NOT.
I WANT MY SPEEDY!Copy !req
433. LOOK, MAYBE THIS SPEEDY
WASN'T YOUR SPEEDYCopy !req
434. OR YOURS OR MINE.Copy !req
435. THE FACT IS, EVERY SPEEDY
WAS A SPEEDY TO SOMEBODY.Copy !req
436. JUST BECAUSE
THERE'S MORE THAN ONECopy !req
437. DOESN'T CHANGE
HOW ANY OF US FELT.Copy !req
438. IT DOESN'T CHANGE WHAT
THEY TAUGHT US, EITHER...Copy !req
439. HOW TO MAKE A BED
OUT OF WOOD CHIPS,Copy !req
440. HOW TO ENJOY
EVEN THE STALEST BREAD,Copy !req
441. HOW FUN IT CAN BE
TO RUN IN CIRCLES,Copy !req
442. AND MOST IMPORTANT,
HOW TO BE A FRIEND.Copy !req
443. WE GATHERED HERE TODAY
TO HONOR A GREAT HAMSTER,Copy !req
444. ONLY NOW WE GET TO HONOR
A LOT OF GREAT HAMSTERS,Copy !req
445. NOT JUST MY SPEEDY,
BUT YOURS AND YOURS.Copy !req
446. SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?Copy !req
447. LET'S DO THIS THING RIGHT
FOR SPEEDY!Copy !req
448. I HEREBY DECLARE THISCopy !req
449. THE TOMB
OF THE UNKNOWN SPEEDY.Copy !req
450. YAY!Copy !req
451. SPEEDY, WE HARDLY KNEW YE.Copy !req
452. YEAH! WAY TO GO!Copy !req
453. HA HA HA.Copy !req
454. HA HA.
HA HA.Copy !req