1. I come from the Net
Copy !req
2. through systems,
peoples and cities
Copy !req
3. to this place, Mainframe.
Copy !req
4. My format, Guardian.
To mend and defend.
Copy !req
5. To defend my
newfound friends,
Copy !req
6. their hopes and dreams.
Copy !req
7. To defend them
from their enemies.
Copy !req
8. They say the User
lives outside the Net
Copy !req
9. and inputs games
for pleasure.
Copy !req
10. No one knows for sure
Copy !req
11. but I intend to find out.
Copy !req
12. Reboot!
Copy !req
13. Go away!
You'll give away
my hiding place.
Copy !req
14. Bob, are
you feeling
all right?
Copy !req
15. Quiet! Get down,
get down.
Copy !req
16. What is it?
Viral binomes?
A roaming Tear?
Copy !req
17. Is it Megabyte?
Hexadecimal?
Copy !req
18. Worse! Much worse.
Oh, no! He's coming.
Copy !req
19. It slices! Dices!
Cuts, copies, pastes!
Copy !req
20. And even formats
julienne fries!
Copy !req
21. But wait, there's more!
Copy !req
22. Act now, and we'll port you
the handy Log-o-Matic
absolutely free
Copy !req
23. for only 9,999.99.
Copy !req
24. Mike!
Copy !req
25. For the 128th time,
stop!
Copy !req
26. Can't we just
turn him off?
Copy !req
27. I can't. His remote
control ran away.
Copy !req
28. Can you blame it?
Copy !req
29. It's Bucket O' Nothing!
Copy !req
30. Surprise your friends,
Copy !req
31. amaze your family,
annoy perfect strangers!
Copy !req
32. It's absolutely nothing.
Copy !req
33. Free, for only 9,999.99!
Copy !req
34. That's it! You're
getting dismantled.
Glitch, screwdriver.
Copy !req
35. Now, Bob. Just calm down.
Copy !req
36. Warning.
Incoming game.
Copy !req
37. Warning. Incoming game.
Copy !req
38. Warning. Incoming game.
Copy !req
39. Coming up next!
Copy !req
40. Three close friends
get nullified in
a dangerous game cube
Copy !req
41. with everybody's favorite
appliance, Mike the TV!
Copy !req
42. Hey! Look.
Copy !req
43. Dude! Were those
the Users?
Copy !req
44. Four of them?
Copy !req
45. I'm afraid so.
Copy !req
46. One User.
Four characters.
Copy !req
47. I think
I know this game.
Copy !req
48. A Dungeon Deep.
Copy !req
49. We have to race the User's
team to the bottom level.
Copy !req
50. All right, then!
Reboot!
Copy !req
51. Reboot!
Copy !req
52. Reboot!
Copy !req
53. What! A thief?
Copy !req
54. I'm not the warrior?
Copy !req
55. I'm always the warrior.
Copy !req
56. Well, if you're
not the warrior,
then who is?
Copy !req
57. Duh-duh-duh-da!
Copy !req
58. Mike! The mighty warrior!
Tonight at 8:00.
Copy !req
59. This is bad, very bad.
Copy !req
60. We're stuck like this.
A thief can't use
a warrior's weapon.
Copy !req
61. And an elf can't use
a wizard's weapon.
Copy !req
62. Exactly.
Copy !req
63. We're all stuck
playing our roles.
Copy !req
64. What are you waiting
for? Enter now for
your chance to win!
Copy !req
65. Sorry, Mike, but why
don't you just file
yourself right here
Copy !req
66. and let us worry about
winning the game. Okay?
Copy !req
67. Trust us.
It's your only hope.
Copy !req
68. Shunned by his friends.
Copy !req
69. Ignored by his loved ones.
Copy !req
70. Abandoned by those
he trusted the most.
Copy !req
71. No! Not. Never. Nein.
Copy !req
72. No way! Ixnay
on the yes part.
Negatory!
Copy !req
73. Please.
Copy !req
74. You can stay with us
on one condition,
Copy !req
75. stay out of our way. Okay?
Copy !req
76. Guaranteed to work
behind the scenes
Copy !req
77. so you don't
have to. Pilgrim.
Copy !req
78. Out of sight, or
your money back.
Copy !req
79. What's that?
Copy !req
80. Now there is
an unhappy camper.
Copy !req
81. Ew! Gives me the jaggies.
Copy !req
82. Cool!
Copy !req
83. To win the chalice,
listen to me,
Copy !req
84. one in all, all in one,
that's the key.
Copy !req
85. Major! Alphanumeric!
Awesome!
Copy !req
86. What does it mean?
Copy !req
87. It's some kind of
riddle, maybe a clue.
Copy !req
88. Or a trap.
Let's find out.
Copy !req
89. It's stuck.
Give me a hand.
Copy !req
90. Come on, Mike.
You, too!
Copy !req
91. Have no fear!
I'll save you!
Copy !req
92. Thanks, Mike.
Copy !req
93. Nice. Cozy. Cheerful.
Copy !req
94. Hey, a map!
Copy !req
95. Look, it shows
us all the levels
and our positions.
Copy !req
96. There. That must be
the User's team up ahead,
and this must be us. Here.
Copy !req
97. Interesting.
Copy !req
98. So, where exactly are we?
Copy !req
99. Let's see.
According to this,
Copy !req
100. we're traveling down
the Hopeless River
of Eternal Imprisonment.
Copy !req
101. The final resting place
of all those who fail
to win the chalice.
Copy !req
102. Nice! And where
are we headed?
Copy !req
103. Well, it looks like
someplace called
Copy !req
104. The Vicious Pit
of Total Oblivion.
Copy !req
105. Will Bob's strength
hold out?
Copy !req
106. Will our heroes be dashed
into the pit of horror?
Copy !req
107. Tune in next time for
another exciting episode of
Copy !req
108. That Darn Wacky,
Crazy Dungeon!
Copy !req
109. Brought to you by...
Copy !req
110. Mike!
Hmm?
Copy !req
111. Would you just climb up?
Copy !req
112. Wait!
Watch it!
Copy !req
113. Mike!
Copy !req
114. It's just more doors.
Copy !req
115. And which door
will lead them
to the next level?
Copy !req
116. Is it door number one,
door number two,
door number three, or...
Copy !req
117. Mike!
Copy !req
118. Why don't we
try that one?
Copy !req
119. Mike! Cut it out!
Copy !req
120. That wasn't you?
Copy !req
121. Well, if it wasn't
you, then...
Copy !req
122. Prepare to taste
the blade of my...
Butter knife?
Copy !req
123. Don't you just hate
when that happens?
Copy !req
124. Do something!
Copy !req
125. Abaracawhatchamacadabracallit!
Copy !req
126. Great! There's more!
Two for the price of one!
Copy !req
127. Oops!
Copy !req
128. Nice going, Merlin.
Copy !req
129. Quick! Try her again!
Copy !req
130. Abracawhatchamacadabracallit!
Copy !req
131. Again!
Copy !req
132. Abracawhatchama-
cadabracallit!
Copy !req
133. With
lightning reflexes,
Copy !req
134. Bob keeps the slavering
hordes at bay!
Copy !req
135. But for how long,
ladies and gentlemen,
Copy !req
136. for how long?
For how...
Copy !req
137. All right, let's get
going. This way.
Copy !req
138. I think it's
this one.
Copy !req
139. Wait! Let's stop and
think about this first.
Copy !req
140. Look, the only way
to figure it out is
to try one.
Copy !req
141. Oh!
Copy !req
142. Get away from me, boy!
You bother me.
Copy !req
143. All right, folks,
step right up,
step right up.
Copy !req
144. Don't be late for
the next level.
Copy !req
145. What do you suppose
that means?
Copy !req
146. Oh! That's what.
Copy !req
147. Uh, guys. I think
we're in trouble.
Copy !req
148. Bob?
Copy !req
149. That was easy enough.
Copy !req
150. No matter where they ran,
no matter where they turned,
Copy !req
151. there was simply
no way out!
Copy !req
152. Log off, Mike!
Copy !req
153. This way.
Copy !req
154. Glitch, cutters.
Copy !req
155. Operate? Now?
Surely you can't
be serious?
Copy !req
156. He slices! He dices!
He cuts julienne fries!
Copy !req
157. Mike!
Copy !req
158. Oh, no.
Copy !req
159. We didn't get a chance
to hear the riddle
for this level.
Copy !req
160. Oh, sure! That solved all
our problems last time!
Copy !req
161. If we could figure
out those riddles,
Copy !req
162. it would probably make it
a lot easier for us, Bob.
Copy !req
163. Would you two grow up?
Copy !req
164. Stay frosty!
Copy !req
165. Watch and learn.
Copy !req
166. Dot,
what level is this?
Copy !req
167. Level 65.
Copy !req
168. Only one more to go.
Copy !req
169. And the User's group
is already there.
Look out!
Copy !req
170. Oh, sure, it just has
to breathe fire, too.
Copy !req
171. Why not? A fire-breathing
skullipede fits right
in with shadow worms,
Copy !req
172. living rock piles, killer
puddles, haunted laundry,
battle carrots, armored...
Copy !req
173. Watch out!
Traps ahead!
Copy !req
174. Did you miss me?
Copy !req
175. This is it, guys.
The last level.
Copy !req
176. Finally, we made it!
Copy !req
177. Whoa!
Copy !req
178. Dot!
Copy !req
179. I don't think so!
Copy !req
180. Bob!
Copy !req
181. Oh, boy!
Copy !req
182. Mike's our only hope.
Copy !req
183. Mangled? Injured?
Partially erased?
Copy !req
184. You have your legal rights.
Call Cifelli, Schoemaker,
and Edwards.
Copy !req
185. We won't be under-sued!
Copy !req
186. Oh, yeah. We're done for.
Copy !req
187. All right, Mike!
Copy !req
188. I don't believe it.
He's a genius.
Copy !req
189. Of course, the light!
Copy !req
190. Mike, where in the world
would you get a crazy
idea like that?
Copy !req
191. Tonight, Doctor Goldsmith
Versus the Shadow Monsters,
Part Four!
Copy !req
192. Only on BMMN,
Copy !req
193. the Bad Monster Movie
Network. I like that.
Copy !req
194. Good job, Mike!
Copy !req
195. I think we all owe
you a big apology.
Copy !req
196. Yeah.
Yeah.
Copy !req
197. Somebody give me a hug!
Copy !req
198. To win the chalice,
listen to me,
Copy !req
199. one in all, all in one,
that's the key.
Copy !req
200. This guy is
really starting
to bother me.
Copy !req
201. And that's not all!
Copy !req
202. Act now, or be
plunged into eternal
bottomless-ness.
Copy !req
203. Less-ness, less-ness,
less-ness.
Copy !req
204. Come on! We can
figure this out.
Copy !req
205. "All in one, one in all,
that's the key."
Copy !req
206. "All in one, one in all,
Copy !req
207. "that's the key!"
Copy !req
208. Alphanumeric!
The chalice!
Copy !req
209. I don't think so, pal.
Copy !req
210. We're in trouble,
aren't we?
Copy !req
211. Big time.
Go for the chalice!
Copy !req
212. And there they go!
Copy !req
213. It's Chicken Belly first
out of the gates,
Copy !req
214. with Nasty Habit moving
up fast on the outside!
Copy !req
215. Take that!
Copy !req
216. Well, now we know
who the real wizard is.
Copy !req
217. Wow. She's good.
Copy !req
218. To win
the chalice, listen to me,
Copy !req
219. one in all, all in one.
Copy !req
220. Dot! The Users
are here!
Copy !req
221. Do something!
Copy !req
222. That's easy for you to say.
Copy !req
223. The Love Hospital.
Copy !req
224. Your prescription
for romance.
Copy !req
225. Mike, you did it!
Copy !req
226. Help!
Copy !req
227. Don't touch that dial!
You're tuned to
the Commercial Channel!
Copy !req
228. All commercials!
All the time!
Copy !req
229. An eternity of useless
products to rot your
skeevy little mind
Copy !req
230. forever.
Copy !req
231. The Users!
Copy !req
232. Get the chalice!
Copy !req
233. Bob, forget them!
We have to
do it together!
Copy !req
234. Game over.
Copy !req
235. And the crowd goes wild!
Copy !req
236. So you see, the secret
to the whole game
was to act as a team.
Copy !req
237. We should have been
looking out for one another,
the way you were.
Copy !req
238. Yeah, Mike. We feel really
bad about the way we
treated you. And well...
Copy !req
239. We're sorry.
Copy !req
240. Thank you. Oh, stop.
Stop. You're too kind.
Copy !req
241. I'd like to
thank the Academy,
my agent.
Copy !req
242. But most of all,
Copy !req
243. people like you,
my adoring fans.
Copy !req
244. He's silly! He's kooky!
Copy !req
245. He's really valuable
in a Dungeon-like
adventure game!
Copy !req
246. He's everybody's
favorite appliance,
Copy !req
247. Mike the TV!
Copy !req
248. Mike!
Copy !req
249. Mike, you know
we love you, right?
Copy !req
250. And you'd like to
live long enough to see
another season, right?
Copy !req
251. Then give us
a commercial break,
would you?
Copy !req
252. Thanks.
Copy !req