Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares 2x8

1. When I

2. first visited Bonaparte's, therestaurant was in dire straits.

3. New owner Sue Ray had sunk everything into it.

4. It's frustrating thehell out of it

5. because going nowhere.

6. The customers

7. were nowhere to be seen. GORDON RAMSAY: Nobody's booked?

8. None, Gordon. GORDON RAMSAY: Nothing at all?

9. No?

10. Chances of walk-in, perhaps?

11. Slim.

12. Kitchen was down to two staff

13. and the money had nearly run out.

14. I went in to identify the problems.

15. To find out if the market was there—

16. How much would you pay for that?

17. Wouldn't pay a lot, would you?

18. —if the team

19. were pulling together—

20. Can't even take a fucking penalty!

21. GORDON RAMSAY —and if the head

22. chef was clued up enough.

23. You're taking the piss.

24. You know that?

25. I have

26. just one week to try and make a constructive

27. impact on Bonaparte's.

28. The honeymoon's over.

29. Got to start making a profit now.

30. Next to its posh neighbors

31. Ilkley and Skipton sitsSilsden, a little working class

32. town yet to make its mark onthe culinary map of Britain.

33. Lots of fish bars, cafes.

34. Quite a quaint little place, little small Yorkshire town.

35. Bonaparte's Wine Bar

36. and Restaurant on the high street

37. was taken over by its currentowner just over two years ago.

38. In her time, Sue Ray has soldeverything from donkey rides

39. to captive wall insulation.

40. But the restaurant businessis totally new to her,

41. and so far the locals aren't biting.

42. Good afternoon. SUE RAY: Good afternoon.

43. Sue? - It is, yes.

44. Hi, pleased to meet you.

45. Likewise.

46. So how's it going?

47. Bit quieter today.

48. How many did you have in for lunch?

49. About two.

50. Two, really?

51. That's it.

52. And last night?

53. Last night I think we did only two again.

54. That's all.

55. Twocustomers the whole night?

56. Two customers the wholenight, yeah, unfortunately.

57. It's just died a death, absolute death.

58. The stark truth

59. is that 2/3 ofrestaurants don't survive

60. past their first birthday.

61. And as things stand, Sue's in danger

62. of adding to those statistics.

63. As a last resort, she's placed all her trust

64. in a 21-year-old head chef.

65. Together they believe thatfine dining will guarantee

66. Bonaparte's a brighter future.

67. It's like being anartist, you know what I mean?

68. You just start from nothing and create something.

69. So I think that's why I love being a chef.

70. From a humble start

71. five years ago washing dishes, Tim has had a meteoric rise.

72. Obviously I wouldlike a couple restaurants,

73. maybe three.

74. Be in Leeds, in London, New York—

75. you know, wherever, just big cities.

76. You know, so that's my main ambition,

77. and obviously to make a lot of money.

78. Tim's ultimate dream

79. is to become a TV chef.

80. But for now, he's embracinghis first opportunity

81. to run his own kitchen.

82. And how did you find Tim?

83. He found me.

84. He knew I'd been strugglingwith chefs and a lack of them,

85. and he's very ambitious.

86. He must be fucking good ifhe's a head chef at 21, no?

87. Either that or he's afucking good bullshitter.

88. Yeah. Tim.

89. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir.

90. Likewise. And—

91. It is a pleasure. Lee.

92. Lee. So you're the head chef?

93. Yeah.

94. And you're the—

95. well you're obviously goingto be the second chef,

96. there's only two of you.

97. Busy lunch?

98. No. No?

99. Absolutely not, no.

100. I didn't thinkso when you're standing there

101. twiddling your thumbs, no?

102. Sue's food take-ins

103. are a dismal 200 pounds a week.

104. She should be clearing at least 10 times that,

105. but she's not even covering Tim's wages,

106. let alone food costs and overheads.

107. Chefs can't get excited unless there's

108. customers to cook for.

109. I'll never know how good they are

110. unless there's any customersin the fucking restaurant.

111. Tim, how many's booked?

112. None, Gordon.

113. Nothing at all?

114. No?

115. Chances of walk-in, perhaps?

116. Slim.

117. I want to see youunder a little bit of pressure

118. tonight. Right.

119. It's 5 to 6:00.

120. I want you to get out on the street,

121. go knock on a few doors, andinvite some locals to dinner.

122. Get your coats on and fuckoff for some customers.

123. If the customers won't come in

124. off their own free will, thesetwo young chefs are going

125. to have to go and drag them in.

126. Excuse me.

127. We'd like to invite you for a—

128. Fine dining

129. requires the ultimate in presentation,

130. surroundings, and service.

131. But most of all, it requires faultless food.

132. We just needthe people coming in now.

133. It's like a big cake.

134. You've got all the ingredients.

135. And you can mix it, and you just got

136. to find the rightconsistency to make it rise.

137. You'll go?

138. OK, I'll see you there.

139. Cheers.

140. The reputation of this place

141. can't be that great.

142. Even with free food from thefine dining menu on offer,

143. they've only managed to pull in 11 guests.

144. For any head chef, Thiswill be a walk in the park.

145. First order two pigeon.

146. Main course, one venison, one brew.

147. OK, no problem.

148. Where do the tickets go?

149. Well, I just put themthere because we never really

150. get enough to worry about it.

151. Oh fuck me, that's nice.

152. Who's doing what? Who's doing the fish?

153. I'll do the fish.

154. And what would you like to do tonight?

155. I'll do venison.

156. What I'm trying to say is how the fuck

157. do you organize your kitchen?

158. Lee, take care of the hot starters,

159. I'll do the cold starters.

160. You do the fish, I'll do the meat.

161. Lee will stand here and I'll do this one.

162. And then just when I'm not doing anything,

163. then I'll just jump on and help.

164. Do you know how to organize?

165. Within reason.

166. Within reason.

167. OK, here we go.

168. Where did you put red ..

169. With the first orders in,

170. now I can really see what'sgoing on in the kitchen.

171. What was that?

172. Just trashed a load of balls.

173. venison

174. the bread first, don't you?

175. Yeah.

176. Never mind find dining,

177. they can't even get the bread right.

178. It's fucking frozen.

179. Get it back in the oven.

180. Are the pigeons ready? - Yes.

181. We're about to put them in the bin,

182. because the bread'sfrozen, pigeons are cooked,

183. and the fucking bread's not even out there.

184. And if you toss that fuckingcabbage once more I'm going

185. to ram it up your ass, OK?

186. Even when the kitchen's busy,

187. you should be looking to getthe starters out within 10

188. minutes of receiving the order.

189. These poor souls have waited half an hour

190. for their pigeon breast with mushroom ravioli.

191. And that's not the only problem.

192. Tim, you made the ravioli, yeah?

193. Yes. GORDON RAMSAY: It's burned.

194. Do you not taste that there?

195. No.

196. Smell it, then.

197. You honestly can't taste that burn?

198. Now you point it out, yeah.

199. Throw that shit in the bin.

200. This is really

201. worrying, a head chef whocan't even taste his own food's

202. burned.

203. He's not going to win any prizesfor his control of the kitchen,

204. either.

205. And there's only two of them in here.

206. I need an egg for it.

207. OK, can you hear that—

208. hold on, hold on, come here, the buzzing in the background.

209. That's the veg in the microwave that

210. should have gone with themain course four minutes ago.

211. Come on, Tim, get the fucking things out.

212. Desperate to keep her staff

213. costs down, Sue has got herhands full running the bar

214. upstairs, and seems blissfullyunaware of the farce that's

215. taking place in the basement.

216. Kitchen's a disaster.

217. A disaster beyond belief.

218. The blind leading blind, and the left arm not knowing

219. what the right arm's is doing.

220. You want 50, 60 seats filled down there,

221. and they've got 11 customersin for dinner and up

222. to their eyeballs in shitter.

223. I mean real shit.

224. I don't know.

225. All I know is I'm not making money.

226. So I don't know what they're ator where they're coming from.

227. But it Sue's business,

228. and she should be in charge.

229. Look at the fucking mess.

230. I've never seen such hard work for 11 guests.

231. Doesn't make you feel good, does it?

232. Not really.

233. I've got

234. just one week to make a constructive

235. impact on Bonaparte's.

236. But by day two, I'mclutching at straws to find

237. any positives to build on.

238. Sue lacks focus and has clearly lost control.

239. The kitchen's such a tip, it's a health hazard.

240. And worst of all, the head chef and his mate

241. just aren't up to scratch.

242. I must be missing something.

243. Gentlemen, Tim, signature dish.

244. - Scallops. - Scallops.

245. Can't wait to see it.

246. Nearly

247. every successful restaurant hasa dish that it's renowned for.

248. I'm hoping that by cookinghis, Tim will produce something

249. truly memorable, somethingtruly worthy of a place

250. on a fine dining menu.

251. That's yoursignature dish, which is—

252. Scallops with ablack pudding

253. sauce hollandaise.

254. Certainly looks OK.

255. What do you think?

256. He's got a bit sick.

257. He's only gone

258. and given me a rancid scallop.

259. Someone get him a drink.

260. Get him a drink.

261. How can you eat that?

262. If you knew they're off, why didn't you say?

263. No, I didn't.

264. I didn't know they were off.

265. They're fucking minging.

266. Do you not taste that?

267. I do now, yeah.

268. Took a while.

269. I know what he means, I feel sick myself now.

270. It's— it's grim.

271. It's fucking grim.

272. And it's out of order.

273. I didn't realize they was fucking off,

274. so I suppose it's my fault, really.

275. In the two days

276. I've spent at Bonaparte's Iwitnessed total incompetence

277. in the kitchen, a lack ofdirection from the management,

278. and last but not least, they've tried to kill

279. me with a rotten scallop.

280. What the fuck are you playing at?

281. Sorry, chef.

282. It's not bad being fucking sorry.

283. You shouldn't be in a fucking kitchen

284. if you don't know what's rightand what's wrong in that set.

285. This is basic fucking cooking, you know that?

286. I need

287. to check if there's any more surprises

288. lurking in Tim's kitchen.

289. Let's go look in here.

290. When are they from?

291. Saturday. Saturday.

292. Did you use them today? - No.

293. No.

294. So what the fuck arethey doing in the fridge?

295. It looks like rabbit shit, that one.

296. It's just some lentils.

297. This one's stuck to the fucking glass.

298. It looks like a sheep's turd that's

299. being infested with ants.

300. We've got fucking fur on fucking potatoes.

301. When's that from?

302. Couldn't tell you.

303. What will you do with them?

304. Throw them in bin.

305. Throw them in bin.

306. But you keep them in the fridge for two days

307. before you throw them in bin.

308. Do you see what I'm trying to get at?

309. Does it make fucking sense, yes or no?

310. No.

311. So this fuckingfridge is jam packed with shit,

312. and we're standing heresaying, put in bin, put in bin?

313. Well, get them in the fucking bin!

314. This whole kitchen

315. is disgustingly filthy.

316. In allow things to fester, Tim'sputting Sue's business at risk.

317. Can we get thatone cleaned out as well, yeah?

318. Yes.

319. Just one bad thing

320. can contaminate a whole fridge.

321. A health inspector would have a field day.

322. Do you know what?

323. I'm fucking gobsmacked.

324. You know that?

325. I got a good fucking mindto get a hold of fucking Sue

326. and just tell her to fuckingclose the place, you know that?

327. Because this is the fucking pits.

328. You should be ashamed.

329. Rock bottom.

330. I've never seen anything likethis in my entire fucking life.

331. You know that?

332. Because this is a fuckingembarrassment to catering,

333. let alone fucking ring down fine dining.

334. Let's move.

335. Not the best start it could have been

336. were it, to be honest.

337. Fucking that— it's all right.

338. We're going to sort it out.

339. The picture's

340. becoming painfully clear.

341. Tim's completelyunqualified to do this job.

342. He's blagged his way in, and Sue's been

343. naive enough to take him on.

344. All these ingredients in thereand no customers to send it to.

345. And yet none of them have been communicating

346. with each other, you know, that's got to go tomorrow.

347. Can we turn it into a fish pie, can we do something with it?

348. But no, the blind leading the blind.

349. And every bloodyingredient in that fridge

350. is money, your money.

351. Sueseems to have no idea what's

352. going on in her own kitchen.

353. The key to any successful restaurant

354. is regular communication between the management

355. and the head chef.

356. I really need to get these two talking.

357. Gordon just had a word with me,

358. and and he said he's not very impressed.

359. We need to keep the placeclean and everything tidy,

360. otherwise I can be sued, inwhich case I'm out of business

361. and you're out of a job.

362. Realize that. - Yeah, I know.

363. And I've technically had to take it on board, as well.

364. Fair enough.

365. She had her little dig, so fuck her.

366. You know what I mean?

367. Relations between Tim and Sue

368. clearly aren't healthy.

369. Lee?

370. Yeah, goggles, gloves.

371. Before we do any fucking cooking in here now,

372. I want the place absolutely spotless.

373. Goggles on, please.

374. That's it, show me you handsome bastard.

375. It's not just the kitchen

376. that's at fault here.

377. Any clued up restaurateur knowsit's damned stupid to attempt

378. fine dining in a basement, let alone one

379. that's beneath a busy bar.

380. Sue's panic is obvious when you see

381. the weird mix of fine dining menus

382. and handwritten boardsadvertising TV named cabarets.

383. Bonaparte's image has clearlyconfused potential customers.

384. She was trying, I think, to do too many things,

385. to be all things to all people.

386. So she was trying to have live music

387. and have an internet cafe.

388. I don't think she's goingto attract the people

389. that she wants to attract.

390. It's not as nash as the onethat's opened across the road.

391. GORDON RAMSAY A newly opened competition

392. just 200 yards away has beenfully booked since it opened,

393. so the punters are definitely out there.

394. It's time to find a clearidentity for Bonaparte's

395. and make a clean start.

396. Valentine's night is just four days away.

397. It's one of the most important nights

398. of the restaurant calendar.

399. If we're going to reinventBonaparte's image,

400. we've got to do it now.

401. It'sclearly not going to work

402. as a fine dining experience.

403. Does Tim know how much pressureyou're under financially?

404. I say flippantly, you know, I'll

405. end up going bankrupt if you're not careful,

406. but he doesn't realize how true that is.

407. Yeah.

408. How close are you in real terms?

409. In real terms, probably—

410. I've got probably three months maximum.

411. Jesus.

412. You know, I'm willing to take constructive criticism.

413. It's not working, is it?

414. Otherwise we'd have more people in.

415. The basics are wrong.

416. I mean, the basics are so, sowrong, and it's— you know,

417. it's embarrassing.

418. It's got to go back to comfort, rustic, easygoing food.

419. It's got to become more of a bistro

420. because the place oozes that kind of style.

421. GORDON RAMSAY I know Sue's convinced,

422. but if I'm to flush out Tim'spretentions to fine dining once

423. and for all, I need to providehim with evidence that you

424. can't fail to take on board.

425. Gentlemen.

426. Tim.

427. All right, this is a seared scallops

428. with a bit of a black puddingwith a nice hollandaise

429. cayenne pepper sauce and abit of deep fried parma ham.

430. It looks like potato, but I'm not sure.

431. First time you had a scallop?

432. Mm.

433. And this is a beef and ale pie.

434. I love a bit of beef.

435. I'm a pastry man.

436. Taste good?- Real good.

437. You?

438. Beautiful.

439. The scallops, and the blackpudding, and the parma ham,

440. how much would you pay for that?

441. I'm not willing pay a lot, would you?

442. The scallops are there anyway, aren't they?

443. So 8.50.

444. GORDON RAMSAY: 8.50?

445. What, for the one portion?

446. And whatwould you pay for the pie?

447. About eight pounds.

448. About eight pound.

449. 7.95.

450. Oh, I wasn't far off, was I?

451. And 8.95, well done.

452. Which one would you prefer?

453. Well I like the pie, personally.

454. Well, I like the meat, I'ma little bit of a meat lover.

455. Thank you, gentlemen.

456. Thank you.

457. One nil, you fucker.

458. Tim needs to learn

459. a few basic restaurant rules.

460. If you don't know your market, you'll never get bums on seats.

461. I would probably go with this one.

462. Two fucking nil.

463. Next please. Have you got two seconds?

464. Here's another one.

465. Have you got two seconds?

466. Restaurants

467. without customers will go bust.

468. Don't like scallops.

469. You don't like scallops?

470. Three nil, you twat.

471. Excuse me.

472. Put another way,

473. Tim needs to start producingfood the people of Silsden

474. won't be able to resist.

475. That is gorgeous, sir.

476. And delicious.

477. Are you listening?

478. I am listening.

479. - Bistro? - That's for everybody

480. Yeah. Fine dining?

481. Who's going in for it?

482. It's not bad news, you know that?

483. It's fucking good news.

484. And it's clear, huh?

485. The writing's on the wall.

486. She's come to the end of the tiller up there.

487. That's pretty obvious thatshe's had enough, huh?

488. Yeah. - Is that clear?

489. That is clear, yeah.

490. Yeah.

491. And you know you're fuckingcocky with her, you know that?

492. Yeah.

493. And she pays you fucking salary.

494. Are you mad?

495. How much have you put in here?

496. Nothing.

497. Yeah, not a fucking penny.

498. Not a single penny.

499. But you've taken from it, haven't you?

500. - Yep.- So now it's time to give back.

501. - Absolutely. - Definitely.

502. And not cooking for egos, get rid of it.

503. Back to basics, you know that?

504. What I want you two to do just to confirm that you do

505. know the basics, both at the same time

506. cook me a fucking omelette.

507. Show me something that I can eat and be happy with.

508. An omelette

509. is probably one of the first things you learn

510. to cook at catering college.

511. When's the last time you cooked an omelette?

512. I haven't cooked one before.

513. Admitting I've nevercooked an omelette before.

514. Oh, Don't be stupid.

515. I haven't.

516. Look inside.

517. What does that tell you?

518. Slightly overcooked.

519. Slightly?

520. It tastes like fucking rubber.

521. They're both overcooked.

522. That was shit by any standard.

523. You're a head chef?

524. You're taking the piss here, you know that?

525. You are taking the piss, you know that?

526. Yes, Gordon.

527. Gives you nothing back.

528. And the whole idea of tellinghim off is to sort of help

529. train him and educate him, but clearly not

530. used to being told what to do.

531. Right. Make me another omelette.

532. Fuck it, let's go.

533. Any chef worth

534. his salt should be able tosource good quality ingredients

535. at a good price.

536. The locals already thinkBonaparte's is too expensive.

537. They want value for money.

538. For Sue to start making any sort of profit,

539. Tim needs to be clever about what he buys.

540. I'll have two red back please,

541. and two cups of tea.

542. He needs

543. to wake up to the real world.

544. He's clearly in need of some inspiration

545. for his new bistro style menu.

546. Thanks darling, thank you.

547. That's your order, that one.

548. You got a table of four in.

549. I want you to buy a starter, main course,

550. and pudding, 20 quid.

551. 5 quid per head.

552. I want to see how clever you are with that money.

553. Right.

554. I'm making French onion soup.

555. Right, we're making someFrench onion soup today,

556. so we're looking for somesort of rustic baguette.

557. All we do is this baguette in this window.

558. Can I have a look at that?

559. Clearly Tim's

560. never bought anything froma market before in his life.

561. Discount for the trade?

562. Any discount for the trade?

563. I already established it one pound

564. don't argue with that.

565. It's always worthbargaining, you know that.

566. So when you're on thetelephone in the morning,

567. you're checking with your suppliers,

568. and you want to know how much the fish is, you

569. can always bargain with them.

570. I bet you don't treat Sue'smoney this way, do you?

571. I will do from now on.

572. Fucking right you will.

573. Tim's menus

574. are packed with expensivefish and meat cuts.

575. He needs to open his eyes to the tasty, less

576. expensive options on offer.

577. What wouldyou do with a braising steak?

578. Don't know really, maybe a barbecue.

579. Get a nice little barbecue and we should

580. get going on.

581. Braising steak means fucking braise it.

582. So it's telling you what to do with it.

583. So what would you do with it?

584. Braise it.

585. Like a stew.

586. Can't put it on a fucking barbecue.

587. Just looking for some chicken breast.

588. Nice chicken breast, boss?

589. Yep.

590. Thank you, and look, he's showing you.

591. Check it. - Let's have a look.

592. How much is it?

593. How much is chicken per breast?

594. Four pound 12, that.

595. Four of them, please.

596. Any discount for trade? - Discount for trade?

597. How much was it?

598. Four pound 12.

599. Four quid.

600. That's my boy.

601. - Lovely. - That will do for me.

602. Cheers.

603. Can I have a bill, please?

604. A receipt?

605. With the AT.

606. With the AT.

607. We'll come again, yeah?

608. Absolutely.

609. The more they see you, themore banter you have with them,

610. the more bargains you get with them,

611. and the cheaper it becomes.

612. You know that?

613. Yeah. I'll definitely do that.

614. Then the restaurant startsto make a bit of fucking money.

615. Get the picture?

616. Yeah, I got it.

617. Thank fuck for that.

618. How much did we spend?

619. Just over 12 quid.

620. GORDON RAMSAY: 12 quid, fantastic.

621. For four portions. - Brilliant.

622. OK.

623. French onion soup, it costs75 pence to make a portion.

624. How much does it go on the menu for?

625. You times it by four andthat should cover everything.

626. 2.95 for a bowl of soup.

627. And we've made money on that.

628. One thing we're not going to dowith the ingredients you bought

629. this morning is waste anything.

630. Withthe Valentine's extravaganza

631. just two days away, I'm under no illusions

632. as to what we're up against.

633. Fucking limp dickin the kitchen, you know that?

634. Got to use some fucking energy.

635. You're fucking 21 for God's sake,

636. you should be getting fucking12 hard-ons a day, not one

637. a fucking month.

638. Let's go.

639. Lee's got a bit of nails,

640. but I've got to hold Tim'shand every step of the way.

641. You sure you want to be a chef?

642. Yes.

643. You are, yeah? Right into the center.

644. This is

645. our one chance to see if Tim can cope

646. with his new bistro style food.

647. And then pullthe knife out, put it back in,

648. and bring it to the edge there.

649. Yeah?

650. Yep.

651. Gently, gently, gently, gently.

652. Make love to it, don't fuck it.

653. Outside leaves.

654. What do you do with them?

655. You throw them away?

656. Yeah, we usually throw them away, yeah.

657. But before we

658. let him loose on the paying customers,

659. I've asked him to cook for fourspecial people in the privacy

660. of their own home.

661. What I haven't told him, it's for his own family.

662. You like stir it into it?

663. No, you leave it dangling on top

664. so it gets perfect.

665. Of course you let it fucking stir inside.

666. We've got soup, chicken, lemon meringue pie.

667. Let's go surprise mum and dad, shall we?

668. Let's go around the houseand you cook their tea.

669. OK.

670. Do we need a jus sauce for the chicken Kiev?

671. I don't really—

672. I'm asking you.

673. I don't think so.

674. Good, because—

675. The center is the sauce, thegarlic sauce inside of the—

676. Fucking hell.

677. Hallelujah.

678. We don't need a jus.

679. We don't need any jus.

680. Hello, Madge.

681. How are you? Surprised?

682. GORDON RAMSAY I hate to use Tim's folks

683. as Guinea pigs, but with a threecourse meal already prepared,

684. all Tim needs to do is reheatthe soup and cook the Kievs.

685. Shall we get cracking?

686. Where's granddad?

687. Granddad's in the front room.

688. This should

689. be a walkover, even for him.

690. I'm going to leave it all to you.

691. He was always in the kitchen as a boy,

692. wanted to go help bake.

693. Because he loves talkingabout it, doesn't he?

694. Yes, yeah.

695. But then he decided whilst he was at school

696. that that's what he wanted to do,

697. and he got himself a job in a kitchen.

698. And it just went on from there.

699. Told me that he was going to be a chef,

700. and he was going to say GoodFood show to meet Gary Rhodes,

701. and off he went.

702. Fantastic, and look what's happened.

703. Yeah.

704. Oh, fuck me.

705. Don't burn the—

706. Door locked.

707. Burn it.

708. Don't burn it.

709. Here we go.

710. Sorry to keep you waiting.

711. It's quite all right.

712. He's ready.

713. Let's notforget, Tim is a head chef.

714. Fucking hell.

715. Whoops.

716. Burned my pans, have you?

717. I might as well have.

718. just burn them, yeah.

719. Last thing I said to him,

720. don't forget your croutons.

721. He's managed to fuckthem in his gram's house.

722. Ladies first.

723. This is some French onion soup.

724. Minus the croutons.

725. What are we going to do with this numb fuck?

726. Oh look at that, superb.

727. Torched on the outside

728. and pink in the middle.

729. As for the lemon meringue pie, you

730. would have get a better reception

731. if you threw it at them.

732. Tim's family wouldn'tdream of criticizing him,

733. but the paying customers on Valentine's night

734. won't be as forgiving.

735. We've got 44 booked for Saturday night.

736. - Mm-hm.- And you fucked it for four.

737. What chance have you got for 44?

738. I'm now starting to shit myself.

739. It'smy fourth day at Bonaparte's.

740. Tim's first attempt at cooking a simplified bistro meal

741. may have impressed his Granny, but he and I

742. both know the awful truth.

743. It was a spectacular flop.

744. You're paid as a head chef, aren't you?

745. Yeah.

746. Do you think you should be a head Chef?

747. - Not really. - Thank fuck for that.

748. Don't start crying. - I'm not.

749. Well you look you're about to fucking bubble.

750. OK, so you'redelighted with that, are you?

751. Bookings

752. for tomorrow night Valentine'scabaret are piling in.

753. With the restaurantnearly booked to capacity,

754. I'm trying my hardest to stay positive.

755. That's fine, Mr. Lowe.

756. I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

757. But with just a day to go,

758. it will take more than highenergy drinks for these two

759. to pull it off.

760. When someone's been told off,

761. the first thing you do in a kitchen

762. is come back 100 miles an hour.

763. And this guy disintegrates.

764. Every time you tell himsomething he just disappears

765. into oblivion and losesall sense of concentration,

766. that little short span that he has.

767. Why don't we swap the roles around tomorrow?

768. Why don't you become the souschef and Lee becomes the head

769. chef for tomorrow night?

770. No answer.

771. Whatever you want to do.

772. It's your fucking kitchen!

773. You're supposed to say, bollocks, no!

774. I'm the fucking chef, my name's Tim Grant,

775. it's me on the menu, no?

776. Yes or no?

777. Yes.

778. Maybe it's me.

779. I should try the softy softy approach.

780. We got a big nightSaturday night, it's full.

781. And it's the first time since you've both been

782. here that the place is full.

783. And whilst I'm here, you're not shafting me

784. as well at the same time, you know that?

785. Going to work together.

786. For the next 15, 20 minutes, I want

787. you both to think of somethingreally simple menu wise—

788. three starters, three maincourses, and three puddings.

789. What do you think, Lee?

790. Soup?

791. Bypassing some of the decision

792. making back to Tim, I'm hopingto build up his confidence

793. and instill some pride in his food.

794. It's hard to write a simplemenu when you've had your head

795. up your ass for so long doing—

796. trying to make fancy silly food.

797. That's the kind of stuffwe're going for, isn't it?

798. Sowhat have they come up with?

799. Main courses, liver and onions, mashed potato,

800. macaroni and cheese, fish and chips,

801. mushy peas, lamb chop pop.

802. Lamb chop pop, that sounds nice.

803. Did you come up with the idea of this together?

804. Yeah, well, we justflipped through some books

805. and thought, what's simple and know basic thought,

806. what did we used to have at school,

807. what did we like at school?

808. And not forgetting, where are we?

809. In Silsden, in Yorkshire.

810. We're getting there.

811. We're getting there!

812. In devising this new menu,

813. I'm aiming to take most of the pressure off Tim and Lee

814. during service.

815. 90% of the food can be preparedand perfected a day in advance.

816. Let's go.

817. See if you can show— show me you

818. can handle two pans at once.

819. As long as it's made well,

820. it can't fail to be a hit with the customers.

821. There should be 15 thingsgoing on there all at the same

822. time— coordination, understanding,

823. medium, pink, is it well done?

824. Onions roasted, bang.

825. In short,

826. Bonaparte's new bistro menuis designed to be idiot proof.

827. Definitely identifythem as vegetarians, yeah?

828. Let's go.

829. Sofar, Tim's attitude towards Sue

830. has been that of a stroppy teenager

831. rather than a respectful and supportive employee.

832. Going to go on tomato soup—

833. rustic tomato soup, yeah.

834. Some little cheese fingers.

835. That's probably afirst, he's actually come to.

836. I've had to run down and chase all the time.

837. And then, I need this, andthey're, oh yeah, yeah,

838. yeah, yeah, it'll come later.

839. Say, I need it now.

840. Basically you're just putting fruits

841. and butter, crush them up.

842. Today seems a lot better.

843. Don't know what he's beendoing to them down there,

844. but it's certainly improving.

845. In the week, I've been here,

846. I've hardly seen Tim or Lee sample or season

847. anything they've made.

848. No wonder their tasteless foodis fading to woo the customers.

849. Everythingwe do in this kitchen

850. has to be tasted.

851. I don't care if it's a fuckingbread roll, a lemon meringue

852. pie, or chicken Kiev.

853. You have got to start tasting things.

854. Fromnow on, bland is off the menu.

855. And to teach these two alesson they'll never forget,

856. I'm resorting to dirty tactics.

857. You know what amedium steak tastes like, yes?

858. Does that taste like a sirloin, t-bone steak,

859. or is it a rump steak?

860. Sirloin.

861. Sirloin.

862. It tastes like sirloin.

863. Fucking hell.

864. Here we go.

865. Now for the pork.

866. Open up, OK.

867. Tell me where it's mediumor is that well done?

868. Medium.

869. And? - Well done.

870. Well done.

871. None of you got that right, Yes?

872. Pork and fucking lamb.

873. Fucking hell.

874. You don't realize until someone

875. blindfolds you and feedsyou that your palate's sort

876. of non-active.

877. Could've been worse.

878. Could've been chicken and we would've

879. looked like fucking idiots.

880. Oh, shit!

881. Tim'shad a week of nonstop grief

882. from me.

883. Whip, whip, whip, whip, whip.

884. Put the bowl down.

885. This boy

886. has really tested my patience.

887. All right, howdo we know they're ready now?

888. You can lift them upside down.

889. Yeah, there you go. Look.

890. Andl really don't know if any of it

891. sunk in.

892. God, I'd love to just get it and put it on.

893. Shit.

894. But with more than 40 guests

895. expected in just over two hours time,

896. he'll soon be tested to his absolute limits.

897. I slipped!

898. No, don't tell me, it was the mud.

899. Can't even take a fucking penalty!

900. GORDON RAMSAY I'll say this for Tim,

901. he's no quitter, and I don't want to see him fail.

902. But now he's got to prove he'smaster of his own kitchen.

903. We're not leaving thisas a draw, you know that?

904. Hey, in cooking, nobody draws ever.

905. One thing's for sure, tonight

906. he'll either sink or swim.

907. Oh, yes!

908. Another two upstairs?

909. Possibly.

910. OK, good news, good news, another two.

911. So we're up to 50—

912. 48 now.

913. Sue'snever had so many bookings.

914. She's having to move furnitureout to fit more tables in.

915. You happy with that?

916. Chicken Kiev with roastedvine tomatoes, T-bone

917. steak with homemade chips.

918. Because there'sso many involved for dinner,

919. I wouldn't stall them upstairs for too long.

920. You're really going to dump us in it big time.

921. Prawn cocktail, three beansalad with mustard dressing.

922. What do you think?

923. Ooh, very bistro.

924. Yes, I like.

925. GORDON RAMSAY I hardly dare say it,

926. but this place has got a real buzz about it.

927. There's one thing missing.

928. What would you like on all your menus?

929. Oh, his name's not on it.

930. Oh, bingo!

931. Where should we put that?

932. On the back, or—

933. I don't want my name on it.

934. We work as a team, and it's agiant effort, and a bistro—

935. you know, that's it.

936. That's the most sensible thing you've

937. said to me all fucking week, you know that?

938. Thank you.

939. Every decent restaurant

940. in the country is full on Valentine's night.

941. The competition down the roadis packed to the rafters,

942. and for once, so is Bonaparte's.

943. In a small town like Silsden, business

944. thrives on word of mouth.

945. And if tonight's a disaster, it could break Sue.

946. I have got a fear that he will not be

947. able to cope with the numbers.

948. Especially when he's saying that11's busy, I don't think so.

949. So we'll see what he's made of.

950. Tim has got to get this right.

951. Two from upstairs.

952. Two soup, two chicken.

953. OK, hey, six o'clock, first order's in.

954. OK.

955. Hello, Chef?

956. Yes?

957. Well, mightas well give it to Scott.

958. Scott, first order in.

959. Hey, are we going to let the kitchen

960. border call out the tickets, orare you going to call them out?

961. Come on!

962. On order, two soup, two chicken, one

963. creme brulee, one treacle tart.

964. Oui, chef.

965. Let's go, soup's made, get on to boil.

966. Scotty, put some water in it please.

967. Something's burning.

968. What's that burning?

969. It's just on the— it's on the grill thing.

970. It's not the croutons, no?

971. No, it's not the croutons.

972. Don't burn the croutons.

973. I'm not burning it.

974. Soup's on, yeah?- Yeah.

975. Pan on for the chicken?

976. Not yet.

977. I think we shouldput the pan on first, yeah?

978. Start the chicken, and asthey're eating the soup,

979. the chicken's cooking, yeah?

980. Are you all right, yeah?

981. First order in, it's upstairs.You're OK.

982. Well, the parts not on for the chicken, yeah?

983. Don't burn the croutons.

984. How long for that soup?

985. Five

986. GORDON RAMSAY: 45 seconds.

987. Oh fuck off, will you?

988. Hey, what the fuck are you doing?

989. Other way.

990. Young man, what are you doing?

991. Slow down, talk to him.

992. Lee, can you send the two soup please?

993. Wait.

994. Look at the croutons!

995. Charcoal again!

996. Oh God, it's the first fucking order!

997. What's the matter?

998. Nothing.

999. You're cooking like anabsolute twat, you know that?

1000. Just take your time, big, deep breath,

1001. and talk to Lee a little bit.

1002. You're just on your own spinning round,

1003. round, and around, and just creating

1004. a fucking bedlam, yeah?

1005. Calm down, get yourself organized,

1006. and control yourself.

1007. Now fucking come back to mea little bit, come back to me

1008. a bit, yes?

1009. I'm fucking—

1010. Come on, Timmy.

1011. Fresh start or we're going togo down like a sack of shit.

1012. That's better, Lee.

1013. Look at him, look.

1014. Hey, nice and bright.

1015. Give us a smile.

1016. It's well done, isn't it?

1017. Yeah.

1018. Now come on, in.

1019. Teamwork.

1020. Two mixes and veg?

1021. Scott can I have two ovalsout of there mate, please?

1022. On order, three prawn cocktail, one soup.

1023. One sirloin medium, one T-bonemedium, one sirloin medium.

1024. So don't rush the starters, gota lot of stuff to get on there.

1025. Good.

1026. Communicate, good.

1027. Right then, soon asyou get some small ramekins,

1028. I need them.

1029. How long for veg one and half?

1030. Send them on yet?

1031. On order, one prawns, onebeans, one Kiev, one sirloin

1032. well done, one lemon, one brulee.

1033. Scott, can I have twoovals out of there, please?

1034. Good.

1035. Now you're talking to the whole brigade now.

1036. Now you're talking to thething, which is fantastic.

1037. Keep it going, yes?

1038. The minute you stop talking, we're going to go down, yeah?

1039. It's not quite right, butat least it's moving, yeah?

1040. Medium with salad, that'sa medium on it, so we out

1041. of salad.

1042. That's a rare, yeah, we out of salad.

1043. Fucking hell.

1044. Keep it together, yeah? - Yeah.

1045. Yeah?

1046. Let's not get nervy.

1047. Food was— wasexcellent, very enjoyable.

1048. It's what we expected to have, really.

1049. It was really tasty, andreally enjoyable, it was nice.

1050. How many more to come please, Sue?

1051. There's another four.- Four?

1052. I overbooked, actually.

1053. The local competition

1054. tonight has got 46 booked.

1055. If we do this last four, we've beaten them.

1056. Woo, wow!

1057. Does that not just liftthe morale up a little bit?

1058. Absolutely.

1059. T-bone medium, medium, medium, medium, and a chicken.

1060. Ladies and gentlemen, showtime cabaret.

1061. I'd like to introduce Tom Sawyer, who—

1062. After corn cartelget some hollandaise on, yeah?

1063. Call service please, Scotty.

1064. Take it away.

1065. One t-bone steak mediumand one chicken Kiev, please.

1066. And that's all going to table 12.

1067. Tell these two please.

1068. Watch the color, love.

1069. When it's brown it's cooked, when it's black it's fucked.

1070. Want some pastry please, pies.

1071. Veg first.

1072. Mm-hm.

1073. Two sirloin, medium.

1074. Not finishedyet, but well done.

1075. Tim's gran

1076. and grandad are celebratingtheir 44th wedding anniversary.

1077. At last, Tim can repay them for the rubbish

1078. he served up a couple of nights ago

1079. with a delicious welcome meal.

1080. It was lovely, that steak.

1081. It was beautiful.

1082. Glad you liked it.

1083. It brought back memories, that T-bone steak.

1084. Did it?

1085. Hey, did you hear what granddad said?

1086. Brought back memories.

1087. You really surprised me tonight,

1088. and I'm really seriously over the moon

1089. that you didn't fuck it.

1090. I'm serious. - Yeah.

1091. Because the first 15 minutes at six o'clock,

1092. you acted like the biggesttwat in Britain, you know that?

1093. all over the shop.

1094. And you pulled it back together.

1095. And that wasn't me, that was you.

1096. And the feedback from themout there has been brilliant.

1097. What does that tell you?

1098. What does that— what does that put in there?

1099. I haven't had a servicelike that for a long time.

1100. And these stupid fucking illusions of grandeur,

1101. all this stupid fine diningcrap that you're trying to do.

1102. It's gone.

1103. Do you understandexactly where you are now?

1104. Yeah, yeah, totally understand.

1105. Do you understand what you're capable of doing

1106. within this restaurant? - Yes.

1107. Stop trying to take it beyond something

1108. it's never going to be.

1109. You'll fuck the restaurant and you'll fuck yourself big time.

1110. So never forget tonight.

1111. You know when that sharkbites with its teeth, dear—

1112. Tonight, Sue's takings

1113. are a record 2000 pounds.

1114. Fairly close, though—

1115. I thought the guys downstairshave done absolutely brilliant.

1116. It's up to you now not to allowit to go back to where it was.

1117. I've been too soft.

1118. You have to be— yeah, exactly.

1119. I'm glad you're sayingit, because that's exactly

1120. what I was going to say next.

1121. And I've also allowed himto have his head too much.

1122. Yes.

1123. I also think you've beenconfused to what you want,

1124. because you haven't been focused on one

1125. direction for the restaurantbecause you've been jumping—

1126. Trying out all the things, yeah.

1127. I agree, I agree.

1128. That's part of the panic, and that's wrong.

1129. And now tonight it's clearlyevident exactly what you need

1130. to do from this day onwards.

1131. And if he changes anything,I'll pickle his nuts.

1132. When I first

1133. arrived at Bonaparte's in February 2004,

1134. it literally had no customers.

1135. Head chef Tim was a liability.

1136. I didn't realize they were fucking off.

1137. Hecouldn't even cook an omelet.

1138. You're taking the piss here, you know that?

1139. In one grueling week we

1140. attempted to transformBonaparte's from a failing

1141. fine dining restaurant into a buzzing bistro,

1142. with Tim sending out quality food

1143. to nearly 50 contentedcustomers on Valentine's night.

1144. Hallelujah.

1145. A month

1146. later, I discovered Sue had already

1147. given Tim two written warnings.

1148. So I returned unannounced tofind out what was going on.

1149. Turn that fucking thing off.

1150. My God, what's going on?

1151. Chilling.

1152. Chilling?

1153. It's Friday night.

1154. It's 7:30, how many's booked?

1155. Four. - Four.

1156. Where's Lee?

1157. He's upstairs on bar.

1158. He's on bar.

1159. What the fuck is that in there?

1160. Mussels.

1161. You're notserving them, are you?

1162. Yeah.

1163. What the fridge is like?

1164. My Go almighty.

1165. What is that shit in there?

1166. That is mold and fur.

1167. Dear oh dear.

1168. So you haven't changed, have you?

1169. Oh fucking hell.

1170. A whole week

1171. drumming into their thickskulls and it comes to this.

1172. Holy fuck!

1173. This is a living fucking nightmare!

1174. Nobody in this place

1175. has taken control.

1176. And in this state, a healthinspector would close them

1177. down without a second thought.

1178. I think I better just close

1179. and put due to refurbishment.

1180. And youshould bow out gracefully,

1181. you know that?

1182. Just been giving him anotherchance, and another chance.

1183. That's— I can't tolerate that.

1184. It's just going to end up—

1185. it's professional suicide, isn't it?

1186. It's beyond recognition really, how fucking

1187. stupid that—

1188. that someone can be, know what I mean?

1189. It's dumb.

1190. And who is that someone, Tim?

1191. That would be me pretty much, yeah.

1192. That night,

1193. Sue and Tim parted company.

1194. Restauranthits back after TV nightmare.

1195. Sincethen, Bonaparte's restaurant

1196. has hit rock bottom.

1197. Sue's made several ratherpublic complaints about us.

1198. Cooked up Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares.

1199. Whilst I'm genuinely gutted it

1200. hasn't worked out forher, I wholeheartedly deny

1201. the allegations.

1202. I'm heading back toSilsden to see for myself

1203. just what's gone wrong.

1204. It's a great shame whenrestaurants don't succeed.

1205. Figures state that two out of three restaurants

1206. close within the first 12 months of business.

1207. Can you imagine how hard it is if you've

1208. never ran a restaurantbefore in your life like Sue?

1209. Lunchtime and there's no

1210. sign of life at Bonaparte's.

1211. When I ring the number—

1212. Hi, it's Sue here, obviously not in person.

1213. —alll get is a recorded message.

1214. Please leave any contact details.

1215. Thank you very much for calling.

1216. Maybe the people of Silsden

1217. can help me find out what's happened here.

1218. I don't know, actually.

1219. I heard they just convertedit to a bar, actually.

1220. Just been converted to a bar?

1221. Who are you going to close down?

1222. Who am I going to close down?

1223. Hello. Excuse me.

1224. Why do you want to hit me?

1225. Because you upset my ..

1226. So you don't think it was fair or justified?

1227. I think a bit fierce.

1228. Well, thank you for being so honest.

1229. If I'd have been there I wouldhave hit you there and then.

1230. You don't look like a violent man.

1231. Oh fucking hell.

1232. I'mdetermined to speak to Sue.

1233. But in the meantime, I'vetracked down her ex head chef

1234. extraordinaire.

1235. Well, there's nothing burning.

1236. Tim Gray.

1237. Hello, Tim. - How's it going?

1238. Are you well?

1239. You're looking brown.

1240. You've lost weight?

1241. - Yep.- Oh, it smells nice and fresh.

1242. Hello, how are you?

1243. How are you doing?

1244. So they're not serving any food now?

1245. No, nothing.

1246. She says she can't trust chefs, and she doesn't know what she's

1247. looking for in a chef or all like that,

1248. so she's not going to bother at all.

1249. Well remember that nighton Valentine's, yeah, you

1250. pulled it off.

1251. They had some bloody good food.

1252. And if they'd stuck along thoselines, spent a bit of money

1253. on the kitchen, cleaned uptheir act, it would have worked.

1254. My God.

1255. So you haven't changed, have you?

1256. This is a living fucking nightmare!

1257. I think if the team—

1258. I'm not going to say a certainindividual, either being myself

1259. or anyone else— if the team had listened

1260. and acted upon the advice we were given,

1261. Bonaparte's had every chance.

1262. But because the team flushed that information

1263. down the toilet and went straight back to—

1264. then you know, that's it.

1265. You know, it could have worked, yeah.

1266. Tim'sdrawn a line under his life

1267. as a chef and is pursuingother career possibilities,

1268. including jobs in television.

1269. Are you sureyou've made the right move?

1270. Seems like I have.

1271. I think definitely, you know, I was fighting

1272. a losing battle with it—

1273. with it before, you know.

1274. But you wereso proud of him in the house

1275. last time.

1276. I still am.

1277. Are you happy?

1278. Very happy, yeah.

1279. Very happy.

1280. Finally I get hold of Sue.

1281. She's agreed to meet me.

1282. But when I turn up, she decidesshe doesn't want the camera.

1283. Sue told me that it's in thehands of an insolvency company

1284. and she'd narrowly escaped bankruptcy.

1285. Sue is looking for a buyer for the site.

1286. It shouldn't be too hard.

1287. I always thought it had great potential.

1288. I asked Sue about her comments in the press

1289. and why she's still convincedthat we had set her up.

1290. She was unable to back upany of her allegations.

1291. Oh dear oh dear.

1292. You know, sometimes you have to admit defeat,

1293. and this one definitely defeats me.

1294. Let's get out of here.

1295. We got a couple of minutes, so want to make

1296. sure you're still on the ball.

1297. Whip us an omelette.

1298. So what have you been up to?

1299. Working on a TV program in Jersey.

1300. Doing what?

1301. Resident chef?

1302. No, running like for a stage management team.

1303. So you've stopped cooking altogether?

1304. I don't cook as a job anymore.

1305. Thank fuck for that.

1306. Just promise me one thing, you do not become a TV chef.

1307. No.

1308. And if Iever see a twat

1309. who can't cook one wank, I'll spank your ass.

1310. See why I've got out of cooking into TV.

1311. Oh Timmy, you've just fucked my omelette.