Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares 2x4

1. What's the best recipe

2. for a successful restaurant?

3. Hurry up now. It's going to be cold.

4. Top French chefs.

5. It looks fucking brilliant.

6. Oh, fucking hell.

7. Oh, fucking hell, eh?

8. The finest ingredients.

9. That is incredible.

10. Food fit for a king.

11. Is that all for me?

12. La Riviera in Inverness seems to have it all.

13. Here, all done!

14. There's just one thing missing—

15. customers.

16. Without them, you don't stand a chance.

17. And I should know.

18. Two years ago, I had to closemy own restaurant in Scotland.

19. I'm just worried that you don'tfall into the same fucking trap

20. that I did, and I lost a lot of money.

21. This week, "KitchenNightmares" gets personal.

22. It's been the biggest wake-up call in my entire life.

23. Scotland, home of the brave.

24. Home, too, of haggis, neeps, and tatties.

25. And the deep-fried Mars bar.

26. But in Inverness, there'sa restaurant on a mission—

27. to bring sophisticated French cooking

28. to my fellow countrymen.

29. OK, you send metwo potatoes right not, please.

30. Yes. LOIC LEFEBVRE: Two potatoes.

31. It's the visionof French head chef, Loic

32. Lefebvre, who's trained in someof the best kitchens in France.

33. I went to work for the President

34. in France, Mr. Chirac.

35. When we heard, like, Mr. Bush is coming

36. or Japanese President is coming, he

37. used to do, like, big function.

38. Service— one sea bass, one brie, table 14.

39. Go.

40. Then I moved to in Montpellier

41. and their three Michelin star.

42. I can't waitto meet a young chef with such

43. an impressive pedigree.

44. Hello, Loic. - Nice to meet you.

45. Enchante.

46. - Enchante. - And this is the team?

47. Yeah.

48. To help realize his dream,

49. Loic's handpicked animpeccably trained brigade.

50. Sous chef Geoffrey has workedin restaurants with both one

51. and two Michelin stars.

52. Did you work with Loic in France?

53. - No. - No.

54. I came, basically, here because it's a very

55. good opportunity to work withsomebody— three Michelin star.

56. Regis also has a Michelin

57. star studded background.

58. How long have you been cooking?

59. Eight years in France and indifferent countries, you know?

60. And so does thejunior of the team, Nicolas.

61. And Nicolas, whereabouts in France are you from?

62. Brittany. Brittany.

63. Nantes.

64. They're a goodfootball team there, huh?

65. Yeah.

66. But now yousupport Celtic or Rangers?

67. FC Nantes.

68. FC Nantes.

69. You're inlnverness, for God's sake.

70. You've got to support a proper team.

71. And Gerard's not letting the side down, either.

72. His previous jobs were atMichelin star level, as well.

73. Gerard, do you have a Scottish girlfriend?

74. Yes.

75. I find accent is a good point.

76. GORDON RAMSAY: 1,400 milesfrom the French Riviera,

77. Loic has created a mini Frenchstronghold in Inverness.

78. And there was Scottish in the kitchen?

79. No, no Scottish.

80. No Scottish.

81. There was some, but not anymore.

82. Did you sack them?

83. No, no, no, no.

84. The first time when I came in the kitchen,

85. I switch off the microwave, putit in the car park, and three

86. days after, I was by myself.

87. They got the message.

88. Yeah, because they wereusing microwave all the time.

89. Oh God.

90. Powder for stuck, deep frying everything—

91. even potatoes.

92. So I had to get a new team, which is good.

93. Loic'sdetermined that his dream

94. team is going to get himhis very own Michelin star.

95. A bit like RomanAbramovich when he wanted

96. to get the premiership title.

97. He went round and got the best manager,

98. the best footballplayers, and then brought

99. them all over to Chelsea. - Yeah.

100. Fantastic.

101. Yeah.

102. Scallops here all done!

103. I think if you can get a Michelin star,

104. that should be great for us.

105. We are looking to achieve, like, one

106. Michelin star to start with.

107. Why not two, and—

108. you know?

109. Even thefridge is top of the league.

110. It's big.

111. Walk-in fridge. - Fucking hell.

112. Look at the size of it.

113. Yeah.

114. It's like a one bedroom flat.

115. And the produce is the very best.

116. Flying vegetables in from Franceis over the top, even for me.

117. But the local shellfish is really top-notch.

118. They are amazing.

119. Being fished on Skye.

120. When they come down to London,

121. they're definitely not thatfresh, I can assure you.

122. Now that is incredible. Fuck me.

123. They've got the best of everything here.

124. I mean, really the best of everything.

125. Someone must be paying a small fucking

126. fortune to run this place.

127. And that someone is multi-millionaire Barry

128. Larson, hot from his 600acre private shooting estate.

129. He made his fortune from the catering business,

130. but it wasn't exactly fine dining.

131. Good morning, Julie.

132. How are you?

133. This is the man who

134. brought Kentucky FriedChicken, Wimpy, and Harry

135. Ramsden's to Scotland. - It's all right.

136. We'll see him in a minute.

137. And now he'sinvested nearly 2 million

138. pounds trying to prove he can make fine dining

139. finger licking good.

140. Sounds amazing— the sort of dream team

141. that you've put together. BARRY LARSON: Yeah.

142. I'm slightlyconcerned about the expense

143. involved in that becausedream teams don't come cheap.

144. No, no. They don't.

145. You haven't got any gray hair.

146. I've got some. Yeah.

147. Well, you're hiding it very well.

148. Unless you dye the fucking thing.

149. No, no. I don't dye it.

150. Not yet.

151. But no, it's expensive.

152. You know what the score is. GORDON RAMSAY: Yeah, big time.

153. Have you owned hotels?

154. No, I haven't done it before.

155. No, no, I haven't owned hotels before.

156. We've had variousrestaurants— fast food chains

157. that we've built up, sold out.

158. Family restaurants that we still run, but obviously

159. at a completely different level.

160. I mean, a fast food

161. restaurant's miles away from anything

162. to do with fine dining.

163. Yeah, but youknow, you still want to produce

164. quality for the spend.

165. It sounds fantastic,

166. but this place is costingBarry over 8,000 pounds a week

167. on food and staff costs alone, and they

168. seem to have forgotten thethree most important things

169. in the restaurant business.

170. Customers, customers, customers.

171. Four days a week, the restaurant's dead.

172. Two soup, one,

173. and one cheese sandwich.

174. And every night it's empty,

175. it's another big dent in Barry'sinvestment and Loic's ego.

176. Sometimes, we get zero.

177. Really? - Yeah.

178. It must behard, that, when it's zero, no?

179. Yeah.

180. Especiallywith all this team here.

181. It's a nightmare for us.

182. Does it hurt?- Yeah, a bit.

183. Yeah.

184. You've got theteam, but you want to play.

185. You're ready to go, but that's difficult.

186. We are like dogs, you know?

187. Wanting to go shooting.

188. We are ready.

189. Loic's hungry for success,

190. but the locals aren't biting.

191. Can you do me a favor?

192. Can you read that out for me?

193. Oh my gosh.

194. I can't say that.

195. Malanger of Jerusalem artichoke.

196. Do you know what that is?

197. One glance at his menu and I think

198. I've spotted the problem beforel've even tasted the food.

199. Not sure.

200. Declanized Asian salmon.

201. Barigoolies jaw salmon.

202. That sounds good.

203. How is your goolies?

204. Barigoolies.

205. That doesn't sound very appetizing.

206. Oh no, I'd probably order that one.

207. What do you think that means?

208. This food may appeal to the connoisseurs

209. in the south of France.

210. Haven't got the foggiest.

211. But this isScotland's smallest city.

212. Like a— yeah.

213. - Would you eat that? - Would I eat it?

214. Aye.

215. I cannot read it, so I don't know what it is there.

216. - Thanks. - Thank you.

217. Nice to meet you.

218. Barry and Loicwant Michelin level success,

219. but I'm afraid they'velost sight of the basics.

220. You are an impatient bastard.

221. Yeah.

222. You want it, and you want to get your shopping trolley

223. and go along and get that and get that.

224. And I can see it in your eyes.

225. You've had a lot of success beforehand.

226. Bringing all these things in together

227. is not the perfect recipefor an instant hit.

228. I'm just worried that you don'tfall into the same fucking trap

229. that I did, and I lost a lot of money.

230. Right.

231. It was a proud day

232. for me when I opened Amaryllisin my hometown, Glasgow.

233. We got off to a great start, and within our first year,

234. we'd won a Michelin star.

235. But as our menu became more elaborate,

236. the diners started to dwindle.

237. The food was so fancy, it put off the locals.

238. They stopped coming and I wasforced to close Amaryllis down.

239. It's a bit of a deja vu for me, and I'm

240. concerned that you may berunning too quickly, too soon.

241. You know, you're in danger of fucking it.

242. Going to fuck it.

243. That happened tome after 12 years at the top.

244. Nice sauce.

245. There's nodoubt in Loic's talent.

246. It's his lack ofexperience that worries me.

247. One scallop, table three.

248. It's his first ever head chef's job.

249. It's always a big, big trapthey fall in where they try

250. to do too much, too soon, and almost

251. try to be sort of competitivein thinking that what they

252. saw in their previous kitchen, which

253. was in a three Michelin star—

254. I've got to be better thanthat, and that's where

255. a lot of young chefs fail.

256. Could you check table 10 for me, please?

257. You put lemon on everything, yeah?

258. It's my second day

259. at La Riviera, a toprestaurant with no customers.

260. So if the locals aren't eatinghere, where are they eating?

261. Busy for lunch. - Fuck me.

262. 5.95 for two courses—

263. starter and main.

264. Inverness is a fast growingcity and the restaurant

265. market is clearly thriving.

266. 7.95 is fucking cheap, isn't it?

267. Now, look.

268. Early supper menu.

269. Two courses— 9.95.

270. I've asked Loic to serve me dinner

271. from his a la carte menu, which costs

272. 34 pounds for two courses.

273. With that team in there and the produce in the fridge

274. is to die for.

275. So it should be a great dinner.

276. I'm looking forward to this one.

277. One scallop for one duck.

278. The breast pink.

279. All right, let's go.

280. This is your canape.

281. You have an olive medallionand a cheese beignet.

282. Canapes and a pre-starter.

283. This is ambitious food forLondon, let alone Inverness.

284. Potato soup with wasabi.

285. Mm, very creamy.

286. Very, very rich.

287. I am excited about the food, but I don't

288. feel comfortable sitting here.

289. You are like a painter.

290. You need a good eye.

291. You know, like thepainter will put something

292. like black here and not here because for him, it

293. doesn't look right.

294. OK, OK.

295. Let's go.

296. One scallops, table nine.

297. Very complicated.

298. A lot of combinations of flavors going on.

299. For me, the golden ruleis always keep it simple.

300. You're tasting a broad bean and white asparagus

301. and a citrus vinaigrette.

302. A confit tomato, fennel seeds, fennel flowers,

303. chervil, salad, Parmesan.

304. There must be 20 things going on on this plate.

305. And then that looks fantastic.

306. But didn't do anything with it.

307. Next up— duck on.

308. This is a duck leg.

309. Decided to make it a raviolion duck leg for the nine.

310. A good 10 to 12 flavors on the plate again.

311. There's just confusion, and your mind

312. is sort of working overtimeto try and understand

313. what's happening. OK.

314. Service, please.

315. A maincourse served in two parts.

316. That's just pretentious.

317. Almost like someone isuncontrollable and almost

318. like a little bit carried away and overexcited,

319. and nothing's saying, just stop.

320. Come back.

321. Ooh, la la.

322. Is that all for me?

323. Yes, it's all for—

324. Loic seemsdesperate to impress.

325. Next, he'll be telling me how to eat it.

326. If I may, to recommend you the order.

327. You've got the tiramisu first, please.

328. Then the floating island.

329. Yep.

330. Then you'll have the souffle.

331. Then the sorbet.

332. Finally, the coffee too with marmalade.

333. What a load of bollocks.

334. Next, I'm going to be told which direction

335. to pee in because of thefucking salmon in the river.

336. Technically, flavors were amazing.

337. The scallops were delicious.

338. The light vinaigrette—did it need the Parmesan?

339. Did it need the flowers?

340. Do you need that many flavors to make it work?

341. I won't change anything on the flavor, I think.

342. The way we work, theproduct brings to the guests

343. the flavors that I want.

344. Your personality has

345. to be comfortable on the plate, and I see a lot

346. of uneasiness on the plate.

347. I don't know if you're confidentenough in what you're doing,

348. and I've got to be very honestbecause this is very crucial.

349. But this has to work.

350. Barry, what do you think?

351. When you think about it, he's probably right that he

352. has to just find his own style.

353. Barry is actingmore like a besotted sugar

354. daddy than Loic's boss.

355. You take on somebody like that and you're

356. taking them on because of their capabilities

357. and their ambition.

358. And you know, the last thing I want

359. to try and do is restrain thatambition and what he's doing.

360. I'm not the chef and Icouldn't do what he does.

361. I'm not really in a position to criticize.

362. One sea bass, one.

363. But I am.

364. This place isn't even breaking even,

365. and yet Barry's forking out 4 and 1/2

366. grand a week just on staff.

367. Service.

368. It's no wayto run a successful business.

369. Barry's in love with you.

370. Uh, no.

371. You're not— no.

372. No, no.

373. But no, he's in love with your food.

374. Yeah, I think he likes it, yeah.

375. He's never going to be your critic,

376. and what I've got to understand is where

377. is your critic coming from?

378. Who is telling you to stop?

379. That's it.

380. Send it.

381. When I think it's allright, don't touch it anymore.

382. Just—

383. No wonder his food's over the top.

384. Now I want to see how he runs his kitchen.

385. Scalpel.

386. Shallots, shallots.

387. Tweezers.

388. Forceps.

389. As every plate journeys around the kitchen,

390. each of his seven chefs adds another flourish.

391. And all this unnecessary fussingis wasting time and money.

392. Hurry up now.

393. Here, all done!

394. There's so many hands that

395. are going on round the kitchen.

396. The plate— is that normal for the go round?

397. Can they not finish anything?

398. The need my sauce.

399. The same for the lobsters—they need my sauce.

400. OK.

401. You put the plate under the grill and I sauce, OK?

402. Service, please.

403. Service.

404. Up.

405. One is missing. Nope, no.

406. No, it's OK.

407. It's OK, sorry.

408. Yes, Chef.

409. Fucking hell.

410. It feels like we've been 250.

411. And all we've cooked in thelast 2 and 1/2 hours is 10.

412. Service, please.

413. I felt that I wanted to just say, stop.

414. What you've got at the beginningwas just enough for me.

415. The processwill seem more simple.

416. Simple because the ingredientsyou've got are phenomenal.

417. He needs to let his food speak for itself.

418. His approach feelsoutdated and pretentious.

419. Is it easier if we maybe cook adish and like cook the scallops

420. and look at the difference, and go

421. through it together that way?

422. Mm.

423. Right.

424. What should we do?

425. Scallops?

426. Um, now, now.

427. Whatever.

428. Um, I've got some things to do first.

429. OK.

430. For the guests tonight, then I'll be with you.

431. OK.

432. If the restaurant was full, Icould understand his arrogance.

433. But it's hemorrhaging cashand no one seems to care.

434. It's almost like the barricades are up

435. and nothing's going to get through

436. because all I want to do isdo the dish together and look

437. at the different stages we're taking

438. out to make it more appealing.

439. But it doesn't seem to sort of sink in.

440. I'm only going to be part of the team.

441. Just let me in.

442. Being a hard ass is nice, butwhen you're in this situation

443. with over-complex food and no direction,

444. I'd fucking grab that kind ofinsight if I was in his shoes.

445. The owner trusts me completely.

446. I can do what I want— whatever I want.

447. So it was the deal between us.

448. Carte blanche on whatever I do.

449. Loic'sbehaving like a spoiled brat,

450. so as a last resort, I'll try his brigade.

451. Is there something you canwork closely with Loic?

452. Of course, yeah.

453. Cannot make the food too complex.

454. You can help us, as well, I'm sure.

455. I want to help, definitely.

456. Let me fucking in.

457. Yes?

458. First, I'm going to tacklethe language barrier.

459. Now, I have to get youspeaking fluent Scottish.

460. Dirty wee bastard.

461. - Dirty wee bastard. - Now before.

462. Dirty wee bastard.

463. It's getting there.

464. Dirty wee bastard.

465. Sorry?

466. He's fluent in Scottish now.

467. Oh, right.

468. So when someoneupsets him in the high street—

469. Dirty wee bastard or piss off.

470. Peace off? No.

471. Piss off. - Piss off.

472. Out of my way.

473. Oh, fucking hell.

474. Oh, fucking hell, that.

475. Fucking hell, yeah?

476. I'm makingheadway with the team,

477. and perhaps I can get through to Loic

478. if we're on neutral ground.

479. Are you familiar with any of the songs?

480. Do you know what they sing here?

481. No.

482. I wouldn'tshout that here if I was you.

483. I'm not sure the locals will appreciate

484. French football songs any more than they'll

485. appreciate Loic's food.

486. I look at your situation and I can't

487. stop comparing it to my situation

488. when I opened up in my hometown in Glasgow.

489. It got too serious andeverybody was scared to come,

490. and then we lost a lot of money.

491. And you know, what's the pointin keeping a restaurant open

492. if you're losing money? - Yeah.

493. And it broke my heart.

494. And that was my home town.

495. I was born there.

496. And that's what I don'twant to see happen with you.

497. You're running La Riviera like a three

498. Michelin star establishment.

499. You started at such a high level.

500. I don't know if it's such a high level.

501. I mean, when you practice with—

502. I mean, like your chefs.

503. When they practice with you, oneday, they'll go by their own.

504. Absolutely.

505. What do you think they're going to do?

506. Yeah, that's a good question.

507. Chips and fish?

508. I know, but you've

509. got to start with the locals.

510. It's not going to surviveunless that restaurant's full.

511. So what do the locals want?

512. Some mustard or ketchup?

513. Mustard, please.

514. There you go, Chef.

515. You have to help me solve it, lazy bastard.

516. Thank you.

517. You can't beat anAberdeen Angus steak sandwich.

518. Mm.

519. That's not bad, that, is it?

520. That's not bad.

521. No, this is good, eh?

522. And when you'vegot such good local produce,

523. you don't need to mess with it.

524. He didn't give me my change back, did he?

525. No.

526. See, he's really Scottish.

527. It's already my third day, but nothing's sinking in.

528. Surely, Loic can't ignorethe evidence if it's

529. staring him in the face.

530. This isn't a meal for six.

531. All this is dinner for one at La Riviera.

532. It looks like a fucking feast for a King—

533. Henry VIII, huh?

534. It's quite interestingwhen you start from one end

535. and go all the way right to the very end.

536. It helps you to identifywhere you can just draw back

537. a little bit and look at the whole balance

538. of exactly what you're doing.

539. And people have to understand, then,

540. they are here to enjoy it.

541. So they have to spend abit more time on the table.

542. Like just say, OK, we've gottwo hour and a half to enjoy it.

543. I couldn't eat all that.

544. I'd have to stop halfway, I think.

545. I'd stop halfway.

546. Yes?

547. I don't know.

548. If I was not able to eatall this, I wouldn't do it.

549. What Loic can't get

550. into his stubborn French brain is

551. that refusing to trust his ingredients

552. isn't just putting off his customers.

553. It's also a turn-off for Michelin inspectors.

554. Maybe I can convince Barry.

555. It is his money, after all.

556. Recommend me a whisky.

557. I'll try to explain in termsthat any hot blooded Scotsman

558. will understand.

559. And one for Barry, please, because Barry's paying, so—

560. could I have just a touchof ice in there, please?

561. Here. Thank you.

562. Can I have a touch of soda in there, please?

563. No, because you're goingto spoil the complicated—

564. the drinks.

565. Are you suggesting or telling me?

566. I'm doing both.

567. No way— soda on the moor whiskys.

568. There's no way.

569. Let me just say something.

570. You're absolutely right.

571. You don't fuck with things that are good.

572. And the first thing I saidto Loic about the food—

573. when you've got quality ingredients,

574. let them speak for themselves.

575. And when you've gotsomething as good as that,

576. that speaks volumes.

577. It doesn't need anything else.

578. No fucking parsley, no chervil, no bay leaf.

579. No fucking fruit garden.

580. Nothing.

581. Just bang.

582. Get it out.

583. Do you understand?

584. Yeah, I do.

585. Barry seems to be getting it,

586. and I've got an idea that just might convince his chef.

587. The Saint Jacques dish.

588. I want you to cook that, andl'm going to cook a Saint

589. Jacques dish alongside you.

590. There is a lot of ways to do it.

591. I mean, like—

592. Yeah, no, no.

593. I know.

594. Of course.

595. It's just I'm 38.

596. I'm 10 years older than you.

597. And so it's not because I'm fucking

598. 10 times better than you.

599. I just want to make you understand how I think.

600. Yeah? - OK.

601. OK, mon ami.

602. What Loic doesn't know is that I've

603. invited ex-AA inspector David Young to judge

604. the dishes for himself.

605. And what he won't know is whose is whose.

606. My Saint Jacques dish has just four simple ingredients.

607. As well as the scallops, it hasa cauliflower puree and a caper

608. and raisin dressing.

609. How long for you?

610. 30 seconds.

611. Loic's dish hasat least 14 different flavors.

612. So you've got the new seasoned white asparagus

613. with the roasted scallops.

614. You've got a fennel, artichoke, and anise jus.

615. And I mix it with the fennel milk, OK?

616. You've got the Parmesan crispsand you've got the broom.

617. It's time tolet Loic into my little secret.

618. I've arranged for the inspector—

619. the AA guy to come and taste our food.

620. Thank you.

621. Go, darling, please.

622. So is he going to make like a competition?

623. Go, darling.

624. The plan—

625. Food inspectors or feared and revered

626. by chefs all over the country.

627. If they judge your food worthy of Michelin

628. stars or AA rosettes, the reward is

629. a place on the gastronomic map.

630. Thank you very much.

631. Thank you.

632. And ideally, customers

633. beating a path to your door.

634. Thank you.

635. Will he preferLoic's elaborate plateful

636. or my simpler rendition?

637. This particular one has much more visual impact.

638. I get the feeling that the dishis going to taste of exactly

639. what was described to me, whereas this one looks

640. a little bit over-garnishedand there's a bit of a muddle

641. of different types of flavors.

642. Inspectors like David

643. can make or break a restaurant's reputation.

644. Introduce you to Loic. - Hi.

645. Nice to meet you.

646. If Loic is goingto gain a coveted Michelin

647. star, his food really needsto be worthy of four rosettes.

648. How difficult, David, isit to get four AA rosettes.

649. Well, it's very difficult

650. because, to put it intocontext, as of this moment,

651. there are only two AA four rosette

652. restaurants in Scotland.

653. In the whole of Scotland?

654. In the whole of Scotland.

655. Is it a fourstar dish— what you've eaten?

656. - This one, Gordon? - Yes.

657. No.

658. No, this particular dishwould be somewhere between two

659. and three rosettes, whereas this dish would

660. be probably four rosettes.

661. The combination of thecauliflower and caper puree

662. just absolutely lifted the dishinto a different dimension,

663. whereas this one— some of theflavors were overcomplicated,

664. to be frank about it.

665. And it may be just a case of sometimes,

666. less is actually more.

667. Loic has taken the news badly.

668. He thinks I've stitched him up.

669. Anglo-French relationshave hit an all-time low.

670. But time is running out at the Riviera.

671. It's got to work, hasn't it?

672. It's your first head chef's job.

673. Can't afford to fuck that.

674. Will I ever make princesout of this colony of frogs.

675. Smile!

676. Fucking hell.

677. It doesn't cost anything in Scotland.

678. I'm getting towards the endof my week at La Riviera

679. and I don't know if Loic is still speaking to me.

680. Last night, he reacted badlywhen an AA inspector confirmed

681. that his food was over-fussy.

682. What was the first thing you thought

683. about this morning afteryesterday with the inspector?

684. What message— did you learn from it?

685. Now I have your advice.

686. I have his advice, as well.

687. So one, you can say, maybe, is wrong.

688. Two— you start to take care and seeming—

689. maybe I am wrong.

690. It's a difficult thing to accept.

691. The French franc has finally dropped.

692. It's been hard for Loic, but he's

693. already changing his game plan.

694. He's come up with a new, much simpler

695. idea for the scallop dish.

696. It looks fucking brilliant.

697. And what I can identify now—

698. I know there's apple becauseyou kept the green on there.

699. I know there's rocket.

700. I know there's pumpkin seed.

701. And it makes me feel comfortable because I

702. know what I'm about to eat.

703. I can identify what you're doing.

704. That's delicious.

705. Everything that goes on theplate has to have a reason,

706. not for this, but for here.

707. For the palate.

708. Yeah, for the palate.

709. And what you've justdone there, Loic— you've

710. given your food clear insight.

711. OK.

712. I understand.

713. It's not three, four, five rosette for me.

714. I'd be happy eating thatanywhere— you know that.

715. Where's that fucking inspector?

716. Fucking hell. Hallelujah.

717. I've just taken fucking France.

718. Now, Loic has finally swallowed his pride.

719. We can begin to move forward.

720. With his team behind him, maybe he has a chance

721. of achieving his ultimate goal.

722. You told me that you wanted a Michelin star,

723. and at first I didn't think that was possible.

724. You know that?

725. Because of how things got so complicated.

726. But with this here, there'sno two ways about it.

727. It's definitely worth a star.

728. I respect Loic for taking it on board

729. because it's a fucking hard lesson.

730. A very hard lesson, butyou know, it's got to work,

731. hasn't it?

732. It's your first head chef's job.

733. You can't afford to fuck that.

734. Crucial.

735. You've got the right training.

736. Now you've got theperfect position to do it.

737. But winning over the kitchen is only half the battle.

738. Caroline is the Maitre d', andshe's also Loic's girlfriend.

739. She's responsible forwriting the elaborate menus,

740. and I've already discovered that the locals haven't

741. got a clue what they mean.

742. It's time to turn the tables.

743. Read that for me.

744. Crunching pepperedwith mashed tatties.

745. Nice.

746. Dirty wee bastard.

747. To prove apoint, I've given them a menu

748. of classic Scottish dishes.

749. What do you think it is?

750. Something sexy?

751. Something spicy?

752. Tatties.

753. Tatties.

754. Loic, what doyou think that one is there?

755. This one here.

756. andwinter Aberdeen salad of grits.

757. No idea.

758. What is Queen Mary tart? Queen Mary tart.

759. Queen Mary tart.

760. And?

761. Whipped—

762. And grumble-crunch.

763. Do you have any idea what I'm trying to say?

764. Yes.

765. It's impossible to chooseanything you don't understand.

766. Exactly.

767. That's exactly it.

768. It's difficult to make a choice when you

769. have this one because it's—

770. It's difficult for fucking Scotland

771. to understand you guys.

772. That's what I'm trying to say.

773. Yeah, it's same.

774. So it's less intimidating if you

775. have an assortment of salmon.

776. You know, a selection of Mandarin.

777. You understand what I'm trying to say?

778. At last, I'm getting somewhere.

779. Just look at what you're taking to the table.

780. And fucking hell.

781. You know, it's like you're a librarian.

782. You should see what it'slike when the tables are set

783. and six of them are looking in here.

784. You've lost everybody.

785. There's no dinner anymorebecause everyone's

786. behind a brick wall.

787. You can simplify the whole thing.

788. Just one, beautiful, open card.

789. Starters, mains.

790. So everything going down there—

791. I simplified it.

792. And it's not just the menusthat need lighting up.

793. Smile, mon ami.

794. Smile.

795. He's far better looking when he's smiling.

796. Smile!

797. Fucking hell.

798. It doesn't cost anything in Scotland.

799. We tried it.

800. We all tried, yeah.

801. Oh, fucking hell.

802. Throw him in the river.

803. We're supposed to be in a restaurant, not

804. a Sunday school church service.

805. Where's my bible?

806. Barry's grasped the nettleand has radical plans

807. to transform the dining room.

808. Going to take this column away.

809. Yep.

810. Going to take theraised area away at the back

811. on that side, so we've got—

812. At a cost of 35,000 pounds.

813. The arches over the doors, we're going to square off.

814. And then it's all panel all the way around.

815. Some nice artwork.

816. It doesn't look that bad, does it?

817. It doesn't look—

818. I don't think it looks particularly—

819. It's not glamorous, but it's not shitty.

820. No, but it's just not—

821. I just think it doesn't look right.

822. But I've got a low cost

823. idea, which I think will give LaRiviera a unique selling point.

824. Regis, I said test salad.

825. I'd like you to start thinking about having

826. a table in the kitchen whereyou have locals come and sit

827. and eat.

828. It starts to break up the sortof wall that sometimes you have

829. when you come to a strange, new country.

830. As I've discovered, having achef's table in the kitchen

831. is a great way to bringcustomers into your world

832. and keeping the chefs on their toes.

833. And this would be the first restaurant

834. in Scotland to have one.

835. I think this will be the best place.

836. Yep, down there.

837. Yeah, just in thecorner, and they will see—

838. Everything. LOIC LEFEBVRE: Everything.

839. And itcan help create something

840. exciting in Inverness.

841. Can you imagine the buzz going around town?

842. The chef's table could be a way of showing

843. off and establishing yourreputation here, and be first.

844. I think it's an exciting idea.

845. Yeah.

846. It is.

847. Yeah.

848. I mean, foronce, you're going to see

849. how do the people react—

850. React to your food.

851. If it's no good,I mean, like, just to throw it.

852. Hopefully, they won't do that.

853. But it all costs money.

854. And although the chef'stable is a great investment,

855. until they've got customers coming in,

856. they need to make economies elsewhere.

857. Crab, foie gras, and hand-dived scallops,

858. which are king scallops.

859. So I mean, the Rolls Royce of ingredients.

860. I mean, everything's here.

861. Fucking hell.

862. Loic needs to do what I did when I started out.

863. Learn to use good, cheap cuts toput together an inspiring menu.

864. Do you ever use a?

865. No.

866. No?

867. Ox tongue.

868. Making something exquisite froma shin of beef or an ox tongue

869. takes a lot of skill.

870. The size of my feet.

871. And it's a great way to identify talent.

872. Right, ox tail.

873. You, you, and you, Regis.

874. A little competition.

875. I want you to cook a dish.

876. Come up with something reallyexciting, and then Loic

877. and myself will look at it, and the most

878. tastiest, delicious dish, we'll put on the lunch menu.

879. And for me, the mostimportant thing about this—

880. it's always a sign of a very, very good cook

881. to turn something very, very cheap into something

882. quite special.

883. So Regis, take it to bed and think about it.

884. OK?

885. Next morning, I'm pleasedto see the young chefs have

886. taken their ox tail challenge seriously.

887. - Yes.

888. And—

889. All three, yeah.

890. And see it's very— you know?

891. Yep, nice and long.

892. Very long.

893. Yeah.

894. You have to rollit, put it back into ox

895. tail shape from the beginning.

896. That's a good idea.

897. Yeah.

898. Jus reduction.

899. Reduction glass.

900. Like a.

901. Yeah.

902. The ox taildishes for the lunch menu

903. are almost ready, and they've each cost

904. about a quid to put together.

905. So this isbraised ox tail with winter

906. braised.

907. Dishes like theseare not only highly profitable,

908. but bringing together great Scottish produce

909. with French flair is a winning formula.

910. I like the jusand just a bit of horseradish

911. on there. Yes.

912. Tastes delicious with thewhite root vegetables.

913. It made it feel earthy and together.

914. Thank you. Yeah.

915. Who's next?

916. And despite what Loic thinks, simplifying his dishes

917. will actually make themmore likely to win awards.

918. I've never had ox tail andsesame seed together before.

919. Michelin inspectors never reveal their criteria,

920. but I know from experience thatbeautifully cooked food is not

921. enough.

922. Next.

923. Inspectors look for good qualityingredients, ideally regional,

924. and definitely in season.

925. And I put carrots, celeriac.

926. This idea's great.

927. And thebalance of flavors is crucial.

928. Very rich.

929. It needs a salad. - Yeah.

930. Because it's quite rich.

931. And what I like is then if you

932. put the salad just next to it.

933. Not on the plate like this.You can choose.

934. Thank you.

935. But first and foremost, don't confuse a Michelin

936. inspector's palate by putting too

937. many ingredients on the plate.

938. Never expected anyone French tocome up with a jacket potato,

939. stuffed.

940. Thank you.

941. The simpler, the better.

942. What did you think?

943. Brilliant idea.

944. Flavors are very good.

945. What you've managed to do is to bring

946. out the true flavor of ox tail.

947. Oho! - Thank you.

948. OK, Mel Gibson.

949. Any one of these disheswould be worthy of a place

950. on the lunch menu, but we're choosing just one.

951. I want to see if Loic andl will agree on the winner.

952. I'm going to touch my plate, which

953. I'd like on the lunch menu.

954. And you touch the plate after three.

955. Yeah? - OK.

956. One, two, three.

957. - Oh.

958. Bravo.

959. Well done.

960. Aye.

961. Aye, well done.

962. That's good.

963. It was reallyan authentic Scottish food.

964. Yep.

965. That's—

966. I think he understood— reallyunderstood where we want to go.

967. With Loic leading the way,

968. we're ready to relaunch the restaurant.

969. For me, it's a critical stage for any restaurant

970. to get a lunch full.

971. And if our customers have an enjoyable lunch,

972. chances are they'll be back for more expensive,

973. a la carte dinner.

974. And when they leave with abloody good lunch, good prices,

975. I can guarantee by the time5 o'clock in the afternoon

976. hits, they've told 100 people, go there for dinner because I

977. had a fantastic lunch.

978. I want to see if we can push this starter, main,

979. and dessert— one hour.

980. Yeah.

981. As well as the new ox tail dish,

982. the menu will includemackerel, pheasant, and goat's

983. cheese ravioli, venisonfrom Barry's estate, tuna,

984. and the cheapest cut of pork.

985. Customers sometimes are scared about belly

986. of pork, thinking fat, greasy.

987. We've taken the fat off, rolled it.

988. Spice on a bed of spinach.

989. It's a caramelized onion puree.

990. Have a taste if you wish.

991. And I've got some other ideas to give

992. Scottish traditional dishes a modern twist.

993. This is a soup that doesn'tlook pretty, but tastes amazing.

994. They wouldn't expect a Frenchmanto make a Cock-a-leekie soup,

995. which is a really nice way of putting

996. your identification on it.

997. Loic, just an idea for the rice pudding.

998. We grew up with this kind of food,

999. so we can go a little bit further.

1000. Caramelized pineapple, mango, or even marinate the

1001. prunes in a nice malt whiskey.

1002. Yeah.

1003. Yeah?

1004. The kitchen's finallyturning out the kind of food

1005. that I know will definitely appeal to the locals.

1006. And even the waiters havepromised to try and smile.

1007. But there's one more thing tocomplete the transformation.

1008. You've got to come withme now because we're going

1009. to become even more Scottish.

1010. Any ideas yet?

1011. Regis, have you ever takenyour knickers off before?

1012. No.

1013. A chance to showlnverness your scotch eggs.

1014. It's time for Loic and hissmall colony of French comrades

1015. to surrender themselves to the Scots.

1016. Fucking hell.

1017. The things I'll do to get the arrogant French

1018. to become a little bitmore Scottish is amazing.

1019. You know that.

1020. It's cold!

1021. How do you put it on?

1022. We don't wear pants underneath our kilts.

1023. It's wonderful. Very hot and very sexy.

1024. Hey, there's 25 very importantguests coming for lunch.

1025. Yes?

1026. But some really good news.

1027. They're all women.

1028. Nice.

1029. Very powerful women.

1030. Super.

1031. If they can impress

1032. 25 influential local business women,

1033. they'll be the talk of the town.

1034. We're going to have the oxtail and the pork, please.

1035. - Deux? - Yes, please.

1036. Table two, four guests.

1037. One potato soup— vegetarian.

1038. Three of steak.

1039. One tuna!

1040. Nicolas, you go and start—you can be on chicken, OK.

1041. Regis, I want two mackerel, two ravioli, one ox tail.

1042. OK.

1043. Watch your legs.

1044. Watch your frogs' legs.

1045. At last, Loic's team are beginning

1046. to dance to a different tune.

1047. The food looks really good.

1048. Clear and simple.

1049. Fucking class.

1050. Everyone's cooking really, really well.

1051. It's the first time I'veactually seen a real taste

1052. of Scotland in this kitchen.

1053. It's about fucking time.

1054. Just after this, wehave two pork.

1055. Loic's on his way to the top

1056. of the Premier League.

1057. The one that brings the scents is gorgeous.

1058. Yeah.

1059. And judgingby the reaction of his fans,

1060. he's definitely scored.

1061. Absolutely divine.

1062. Just perfect, absolutely perfect.

1063. You couldn't fault anything, really.

1064. I would imagine normally, this sort of food—

1065. you'd be talking at least acouple of hours for lunch.

1066. But to get something like thisin that time scale— brilliant.

1067. It's beautiful.

1068. You have tried— you win this.

1069. And OK, it's for you.

1070. A present.

1071. Thank you, mon ami.

1072. Excuse me, what the fuck is that?

1073. Who is that?

1074. I think it's a big chef.

1075. And what is that there?

1076. The balls. GORDON RAMSAY: Balls, yeah.

1077. Trust me.I have a big pair of bollocks.

1078. Allez le bleus.

1079. Thank you.

1080. Loic and his team havecome a long way this week,

1081. and if he sticks to my keep it simple mantra,

1082. I think La Riviera might be on the right track

1083. for a Michelin star.

1084. Outside.

1085. Just for the ladies, Regis, to understand that you

1086. really are part of Scotland now, we're all going to turn around.

1087. Turn around, turn around.

1088. Turn around.

1089. Ready?

1090. One, two, three.

1091. Go!

1092. Right.

1093. Loic.

1094. It's been two monthssince I was at La Riviera.

1095. Bonjour.

1096. Have you missed me?

1097. A little bit, yeah.

1098. So what's changed?

1099. OK, you take one pork.

1100. One ravioli, table four.

1101. The menu looks lovely, and you've

1102. got cheap ingredients on.

1103. Ox cheek for the lunch menu.

1104. Yeah.

1105. I'm dying to taste the pork cheek.

1106. Can you cook me one, please?

1107. You know, with the risotto?- Yeah.

1108. It looks lovely.

1109. Oh yes, very nice.

1110. That looks interesting.

1111. Is that the chef's table?

1112. Yes, they arefinishing the chef's table.

1113. Very impressive, that.

1114. That is great.

1115. It's good to say he's actually done my advice.

1116. But the proof of thepudding is in the eating.

1117. Here we are, monsieur.

1118. Thank you, Loic.

1119. The pork cheek, which is a

1120. risotto and.

1121. A dish withjust four ingredients?

1122. Absolutely delicious.

1123. That, for me so far, is one of the most tasty

1124. dishes I've ever eaten here.

1125. Really, really delicious.

1126. If you continue like this, this place

1127. is only going to just gettingbusier and busier and busier.

1128. That's what we want.

1129. That's agreat dish to be proud of.

1130. Thank you.

1131. How's the refurb been

1132. going on in the dining room?

1133. Dining roomis finished for one week now.

1134. Wow.

1135. Fuck me.

1136. What a difference.

1137. Bloody hell.

1138. It looks a lot more slick—

1139. smart.

1140. Barry must have spend a fortune on it.

1141. Beautiful dark panel wood.

1142. A completely different drawing room.

1143. I know.

1144. It is.

1145. It is another restaurant.

1146. It feels more relaxed,

1147. but is it money well spent?

1148. Has anything improved sincethe last time I was here?

1149. Yeah, the restaurant's bookings

1150. have improved.

1151. We just looked at what you toldus on simplifying the menu,

1152. writing the menu.

1153. Michelin star?

1154. I would love to get one, but what's

1155. more important for me at the moment

1156. is that we build the customers.

1157. It's certainly come

1158. a long way from the restaurantl found two months ago.

1159. Here, all done!

1160. His food was so elaborate.

1161. There must be 20 things going on on this plate.

1162. It had frightened off the customers.

1163. Oh, fucking hell.

1164. Oh, fucking hell, that.

1165. Hurry up now!

1166. He wasdesperate for a Michelin star,

1167. but reluctant to let me help.

1168. But by the end of the week—

1169. Regis, take it to bed and think about it.

1170. The message had sunk in. Hallelujah.

1171. I've just taken fucking France.

1172. And we were able to fill the stuffy restaurant

1173. with happy diners.

1174. Two mackerel.

1175. His dream was to win awards,

1176. and with his newly simplified food,

1177. I thought Loic was finally producing dishes

1178. worthy of a Michelin star.

1179. It looks fucking brilliant.

1180. Where's that fucking inspector?

1181. This time round, I raisedthe bar even higher

1182. with another surprise visitor for Loic.

1183. Last time I saw this man, he actually

1184. gave me three Michelin stars.

1185. So perhaps the most reveredand feared critic in the world.

1186. Derek Brown is the grand fromageof restaurant inspectors.

1187. He's the ex-President of the Michelin Guide,

1188. and he's agreed to do me a favor.

1189. I'm not going to say toomuch about this particular

1190. restaurant, but he's a very intriguing,

1191. talented individual, and wouldlove to see what you think.

1192. What he's capable of doing?

1193. Yeah.

1194. Now remember, you don't know me.

1195. Don't know you at all.

1196. Top secret.

1197. Sure.

1198. Head chef Loic has

1199. no idea he has such an influential critic

1200. in his restaurant.

1201. For his sake, I hope Derekgoes for the simple pork

1202. cheek I had.

1203. The lamb, please. The lamb.

1204. Damn.

1205. How would you like it cooked, sir?

1206. Pink, please.

1207. Pink.

1208. To me, the Scottish lamb

1209. with stuffed baby artichokeslooks just as elaborate

1210. as it did two months ago.

1211. I see you've got your herb garden back.

1212. I'm from the south of France,

1213. so herbs is very important for me.

1214. I hope to God I'm wrong.

1215. You can't eat it.

1216. Service!

1217. I can't wait to see Loic'sface when he realizes that

1218. the food he's sending outnow is for the ex-president

1219. of Michelin.

1220. He's going to shit his French knickers.

1221. Time for the moment of truth.

1222. Loic, two seconds, s'il vous plait.

1223. Loic, do you know this gentleman?

1224. No.

1225. Sorry, Mr. Derek Brown, Loic.

1226. I think I've seen you, yeah?

1227. Already.

1228. Yes, maybe in France somewhere.

1229. I'm dying to find out.

1230. I'm sure Loic is, as well.

1231. How was lunch?

1232. Well, it was very interesting.

1233. Your technique— I mean, you've been

1234. very careful about the whole preparation

1235. of each of your dishes.

1236. But you know, it was too complicated.

1237. There with 10 different flavors on the plate.

1238. There was garlic and herbsin the artichoke, which

1239. is itself a delicate thing.

1240. A little bit overpowering, I thought.

1241. The shoulder, which you'd done a confit of—

1242. that was the tastiest part of the dish.

1243. The million dollar question—

1244. was lunch worthy of a Michelin star?

1245. I would say that you

1246. have not got very far to go.

1247. I never gave advice in my working life before,

1248. but if you want me togive you some advice now,

1249. I would simplify what you're doing.

1250. Make sure that the customers are going

1251. to be happy with every dishthat you ever make them.

1252. And things like stars from theMichelin guide will follow.

1253. The old boys have got to bereplaced, so it's up to you.

1254. And you've got the talent.

1255. Just use it and refine it.

1256. But has themessage really sunk in,

1257. or is he still intent on forcingover-elaborate French food

1258. on the locals?

1259. This is our challenge.

1260. This is not to bring peoplelike you do in London.

1261. The challenge is to teachthem and to bring them in.

1262. That's why you have to makesomething really special.

1263. Fuck me.

1264. I mean, my frustratingthing is that you've really

1265. got to understand themessage because you know,

1266. I fucking said this from dayone, and I'm not an inspector.

1267. I'm a chef, and I see it from your level.

1268. Service!

1269. Will heever understand that simple

1270. can also be special?

1271. One salmon, one venison.

1272. So are you feeling

1273. a little nervous about thechef's table in the kitchen

1274. tonight for the first time?

1275. Is this your nightmare?

1276. They're going to say, look, this fucking

1277. French is fucking crazy.

1278. No, I think they'll bevery happy with the fucking

1279. nightmare.

1280. With a fully booked restaurant tonight

1281. and his first diners in the kitchen,

1282. Loic should be a very happy man.

1283. OK, mon ami, bon chance.

1284. Allez le bleus.

1285. Good evening.- Good evening.

1286. How are you tonight?

1287. I hope you are glad to be thefirst in my kitchen table.

1288. I will make a bit ofmusic for you if you want.

1289. I can manage this.

1290. We'll neverbe the best of mates,

1291. but we do have one thing in common.

1292. Bravo. Bravo, bravo.

1293. Ambition.

1294. Remember what he said— thatthing about 12, 15 things

1295. on one plate.

1296. So next time you put a dish together

1297. and you've gone past 8,9, 10 things on the plate,

1298. give me a fucking call because I'm

1299. coming back when you get to 11.

1300. OK? - OK.

1301. OK.

1302. Yes?

1303. Good luck tonight, yes?

1304. Because I think you'regoing to fucking need it.

1305. I sincerely hope he makes it a success.

1306. Who knows?

1307. Maybe the Michelin star will follow.