Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares 2x2

1. D-place cafe bar is in D-shit.

2. People don't eat out of that, surely?

3. Are you taking the piss?

4. We give it a bit of a flourish.

5. If we're going to do horrible food,

6. let's do horrible food all the time.

7. If you cooked like this in France,

8. they'd hang you upside downfrom the Arc de Triomphe

9. by your bollocks, do you know that?

10. I've got just seven days to transform the food

11. and banish the bullshit.

12. You know the oven's not evenhot enough to roast a potato.

13. We can't even cook a fucking burger in there.

14. But the staff are at war.

15. You don't look an idiot.

16. I do, because I'm sellingsomeone your fucking shit food.

17. And if I'm going to get

18. this place back on track—

19. go, three club sandwich, quick— something's got to give.

20. Those who aren't interested inpulling on the fucking rope,

21. fuck off.

22. I've had enough of this.

23. Hang on.

24. Hang on, let me finish.

25. Are you ready for this?

26. - Yes. - Big day, huh?

27. Don't fuck it up.

28. Essex, an ancient Saxson county

29. more recently colonized by Essex girls,

30. boy races, and footballers'wives, and now a Mexican—

31. I'm calling Dave.

32. —called Israel.

33. —to find out why he's not here.

34. Five years ago, he

35. brought trendy fusion cuisineto the heart of Chelmsford.

36. He opened D-place cafe bar, and it seemed that he'd

37. found a winning formula.

38. Great place, great music, great service, great food,

39. the right price.

40. And it worked perfectly.

41. Over the space of two years,

42. Israel built a miniempire of five businesses.

43. But success didn't last long.

44. Three years later, all but D-place are gone.

45. Even this place is hanging on by a thread.

46. If I don't do something drastic

47. then this business will go down the pan.

48. Having invested 150,000 pound

49. and with a quarter of a million pound

50. loan from a national brewery, Israel and his partner

51. Tara are at their wit's end.

52. So you've had a little success.

53. The place was busy, now it's almost

54. pissed through your hands.

55. Classic example in business oftrying to run before you could

56. walk, without consolidating.

57. How quiet is it?

58. It's as bad as it's ever been.

59. The restaurant's losing money.

60. The bar is supporting the restaurant.

61. Sales have dropped by morethan 50% in comparison

62. to two years ago.

63. How desperate are you to get it back?

64. Desperate.

65. Very, very desperate.

66. I'm at the crossroads.

67. Do I still give it another go, or do I

68. return the key to the landlord next month

69. and say I better go and do something else?

70. But you don't look like the kind

71. of guy that would give in easy.

72. No, I don't.

73. Israel is up to its neck in debt

74. and doesn't even have the security

75. of owning the building.

76. If this goes tits up, he andTara will lose everything.

77. I said to you, ten seconds.

78. In a last ditchattempt to win back customers,

79. Israel has employed one-time wannabe fighter

80. pilot, now high flyingExecutive Chef, Philippe Blaise.

81. Can I have two avocado and shrimp?

82. With 25 years experience,

83. monsieur Blaise came hotfrom the multi-million pound

84. stables of Belgo and Planet Hollywood.

85. I thought, well, why not give a try

86. to the countryside of England.

87. At Planet Hollywood, I had150 people working for me.

88. So here, it's a lot different.

89. I've got two or three chefs.

90. We get some great feedback.

91. But the only problem is thatthe guests don't come in.

92. Even on a deadcert like Valentine's night,

93. out of 84 available seatsonly 24 have been booked.

94. But at least that means themissus and I can get a table.

95. Happy Valentine's Day.

96. From the Valentine's special menu,

97. I've ordered a scallop and shrimp

98. cocktail for mains and a tiramisu

99. creme brul e for dessert.

100. Sorry, Idecided to bring it myself

101. because I had trouble getting a waiter.

102. Thank you.

103. You're welcome.

104. Microwave rice— straight away.

105. God.

106. Just a mess really.

107. You've got nice scallops.

108. They just need cookingfor 10 seconds each side,

109. but they're chewy with overcooked dried prawns.

110. The fucking— it's there!

111. Dave!

112. Dave!

113. Phil's nemesis,a maitre d is 25-year-old Essex

114. boy, Dave Bone.

115. I think you need to havequality rather than quantity

116. on a night like tonight.

117. Treat people with the respectthey want and a special manner.

118. How does your meal seem?

119. We'll go straightto the creme brul e, I think.

120. Straightaway?

121. Didn't you ask for the tiramisu?

122. Isn't it a tiramisu creme brul e.

123. I'm sorry, do you work here?

124. Straight to desert, please.

125. Rubbery, overcooked.

126. I'm sorry?

127. I said, rubbery and overcooked.

128. And I'm notthe only one complaining.

129. I ordered salmon, which sounded lovely,

130. but it just wasn't quite cooked.

131. At least mypudding should be a safe bet.

132. It's a French classic, soPhilippe should be able to make

133. it with his eyes closed.

134. And it looks like he has.

135. The creme brul e is liquid.

136. It's a first for me actually.

137. I've never had a runny creme brul e.

138. Should I ask for straw?

139. It's fucking embarrassing really.

140. Oh come on, it's not all right.

141. Excuse me, Dave

142. No. - Listen to me!

143. I don't want it. I don't want it.

144. OK then, go.

145. I'm the person who looks an idiot

146. Go. No, no.

147. You don't look an idiot.

148. I do.

149. Because I'm selling someoneyour fucking shit food!

150. Dave, go back to your restaurant.

151. Anglo-French relations

152. seem to have hit a new low.

153. Yeah, and I'm sayingto you, when it's ready,

154. I will ring.

155. Here we are on Valentine's right.

156. All I can hear is the fuckingchef shouting in kitchen.

157. Let's go.

158. We made hard work of nothing.

159. And what I didn'texperience was any passion.

160. Well, I did think the scallopwas actually very, very good.

161. The ones I ate were like rubber.

162. And I'm really sorry, but I've never

163. known a Frenchman to make such a shit

164. creme brul e in all my life.

165. We've got a lot of work to do.

166. Fuck me.

167. Awful food, bad service.

168. God. Fucking hell.

169. Definitely not the place for me.

170. Fuck me.

171. Israel and Tara have sunk everything

172. they own into D-place, and they're

173. hugely indebted to the brewery.

174. The odds are really stackedagainst them, but I like them,

175. and I also like a challenge.

176. I want you out of the kitchen.

177. Goodbye.

178. You can go to the toilette.

179. Lunchtime in the kitchen isthe busiest time of the day,

180. and Philippe is back to his normal menu.

181. I'm really hoping it's a damn sight better

182. than last night's crap, otherwise we

183. really are in the fucking shit.

184. Cheeseburger, Thai noodle—the Thai noodle is coming now.

185. With over40 dishes to choose from,

186. Philippe's menu is global, both in size and choice.

187. What is that?

188. This is salsa sauce.

189. Holy fuck.

190. Everything, from all-day Englishbreakfast, hoisin noodles,

191. to Mexican platters, this is definitely

192. more confusion than fusion.

193. Some of it's even served in a bread bin.

194. People don't eat out of that, surely?

195. Are you taking the piss?

196. Well, we give it a bit of flourish.

197. GORDON RAMSAY: 70% of Philippe's food

198. is brought in ready prepared.

199. What's happens to that?

200. The Frenchmen even gets hisbaguettes delivered frozen.

201. Fucking hell.

202. And buying in ready made foodis an expensive, false economy.

203. What's the most popular dish today?

204. The hamburgers and the crabs.

205. Are they homemade then?

206. Yes, they are.

207. Finally.

208. Thank you very much.

209. You've only just fucking rang it.

210. Philippe's two sous chefs, Munia and Alcima,

211. are young and inexperienced.

212. They clearly know nothing beyondPhil's warped culinary world.

213. And what's that in there?

214. A splash if the sauce.

215. Uncle—

216. Uncle Ben.

217. Fucking hell.

218. When do you want to be a head chef?

219. Three years?

220. Fuck me, you better move your ass.

221. I've got a table here, ready.

222. Munia, when doyou want to be a head chef?

223. Well, maybe in about 10 years time.

224. GORDON RAMSAY: 10 years, time. Yeah.

225. Probably have my own place, I think.

226. That's what I would like.

227. They may be hungry for success,

228. but if I think this is cooking, they're in for a surprise.

229. Very lump though, isn't it?

230. No?

231. It looks like fucking porridge.

232. The bells.

233. The bells.

234. Can you tell me if this isstarter and this main course,

235. or is it all together?

236. Yeah, please.

237. Because I can't guess.

238. You didn't take an.

239. The one which was here was the Greek salad.

240. Lunchtime serviceshould be a quick turnaround.

241. But with all the cock-ups, their customers are lucky to get

242. that food within 45 minutes.

243. And it's not helped by the full-scale war

244. raged between restaurantmanager Dave and Philippe.

245. What is it between you and Dave?

246. Because you hate each other, right?

247. Pretty much, yeah.

248. And when the food does eventually

249. make it out to the customers, it comes

250. boomeranging back just as fast.

251. Philippe. What's up.

252. They said it's not cooked properly.

253. Which One?

254. It's my mistake obviously.

255. I should have spotted it before it went out.

256. And it's not just the undercooked fish that

257. slips through Philippe's net.

258. What happened?

259. She said it was a bit runny inside.

260. What's going on here?

261. The plates are fuller comingback than they are going out.

262. He said it's not cooked properly.

263. It's not what?

264. No, it's not cooked properly.

265. It tastes shit.

266. It's dodgy and fucking disgusting.

267. How many is cooked there?

268. Burgers can be barbecued, grilled, of fried,

269. but the secret to successis to cook them to order.

270. Look how thin they are.

271. If we're doing cooked burgersnow, they're not even on order.

272. We precooking them either for tonight

273. or even for tomorrow.

274. Because the thing is—

275. For tomorrow?

276. The thing is thatthe oven is very, very slow

277. and we can't put it any higher than that.

278. Have you lost the plot?

279. No.

280. Have you gone a little bit fucking bonjour?

281. No.

282. How are you goingto come that again tomorrow?

283. It will be reheat in the microwave.

284. Holy mackerel.

285. And the torturoustreatment of innocent food

286. doesn't stop there.

287. And you deep-fry the bacon now?

288. We do.

289. Yeah.

290. Would you do it like this in France?

291. Well, uh, no.

292. You'd be fucking shot in France.

293. Hey, they'd hang you upsidedown from the Arc de Triomphe

294. by your bollocks, you know that?

295. We're in the shit.

296. But if we want to turnthe business around, yes, I

297. have to agree.

298. We are in the fucking shit.

299. Cafe bar D-place is in deep trouble.

300. In the last year, food salesof dropped 7,000 pounds a week.

301. And depressingly, since I arrived,

302. I've found few positives to build on.

303. It's time for Israel topull his head out the sand

304. and smell the coffee.

305. Looking at the situation,I can actually confirm,

306. I'm shitting myself.

307. I'm worried about thesituation in the kitchen.

308. The idea of cooking—

309. there's not a lot of that going on in there.

310. No.

311. The standard is pretty crap.

312. And what I have identifiedlately is lack of pride.

313. Yeah, and a huge lack of respect.

314. Too many individuals like you've got now

315. will completely fuck the business.

316. But have you lost respectfor your business?

317. No, I've lost sense of pride for the business.

318. It starts from the top.

319. You have to stay fucking strong on top of it.

320. Because without yourdetermination, we're fucked.

321. And we need to turn their attitudes around, get

322. their heads out their assholes, and fucking

323. get this place back on track.

324. The animosity between Dave and Philippe

325. is dragging the business down.

326. They're like a whinging, old couple.

327. So on day three, it's time to start

328. building bridges with some tried and tested

329. marriage guidance tactics.

330. Hold out your hand.

331. So whilst you've got that egg in your hand,

332. tell Dave what you really think about him.

333. Well Dave, you're just now

334. an arrogant, little bastard.

335. You think you know everything.

336. You're the most beautiful, you're

337. the most perfect guy there is—

338. that's the bottom line.

339. I think you're talkingout of your ass, aren't you?

340. Because when I do try andtalk to you and if I do shout,

341. it's because you argue and don't let me finish.

342. So from now on, stop beinga stubborn fucking French

343. bastard, because we'renot going to work at all,

344. and this place is going to go down.

345. There's nothing that I would like more

346. than actually being able to work with the manager

347. of the restaurant.

348. This wholeexercise is not personal.

349. It's about business and doing your fucking jobs.

350. And I just beg you both to continue

351. talking to one another, becausethat hasn't taken place.

352. Understand each other's jobs.

353. Now, shake hands.

354. For the better.

355. It's not justPhil's relationship with Dave

356. that's bothering me.

357. Where's the vegetable?

358. He seems tohave lost any real command

359. off his kitchen.

360. Shit!

361. Can I have vegetable noodle.

362. An efficient brigade

363. thrives on constantmotivation from the head chef.

364. But Munia and Alcima are leftto fester in bottled sauced

365. and frozen, deep-fried food.

366. much about that before.

367. Where— They're breaded mushrooms.

368. - Breaded mushrooms? - Yeah.

369. They're pickingup one bad habit after another.

370. And Philippe doesn't even seem to care.

371. Being in Essex, people tend to like

372. their omelette well-cooked.

373. So this is an Essex, not a French omelet.

374. It's not a French omelette, no.

375. Oh, OK.

376. Holy mackerel.

377. Show me.

378. Yeah, that's fucking cooked.

379. It's time to find out whathappened to Philippe Blaise,

380. executive chef extraordinaire.

381. I see a man in front of me 40 years of age,

382. French, that's had bloody good jobs before

383. at an executive fucking level, whether it's

384. Belgo or Planet Hollywood.

385. But I don't see anything that resembles a chef.

386. If you are buying so muchfood in and it's making

387. you look shit, why aren't you fighting against that?

388. Chefs fight for reputations and show

389. the hunger to the customersof making them happy.

390. It's true.

391. Up to a point—

392. Yes?

393. —I may have given up, becausel see that there's no hope.

394. Thank you.

395. But I am still as hungryas I was to actually

396. do and create things.

397. OK, well, I want to help you, and I

398. want to work closely with youto get things back online—

399. just to install that little bitof fucking normality, pride.

400. You've just said it.

401. Get it back.

402. When a business stops making money,

403. it's tempting to stop investing in it.

404. And it's blatantly obvious that's exactly

405. what Israel has done.

406. The dining room is tattyand the kitchen is lacking

407. some of the basic essentials.

408. You've got to give this man the tools in order

409. to operate this fucking restaurant properly.

410. I'm frustrated that we'vegot a freezer full of crap,

411. and we've got an oven that doesn't work.

412. So we've got to get priorities right.

413. Your business, you'reemployed as the head chef,

414. you both have to startspeaking the same language.

415. That is absolutely critical.

416. I hope this is thebeginning of things to change

417. and I hope that if Philippe has felt in the past

418. that he's been put under pressure to cut corners,

419. not to cut corners without talking to me.

420. With thelines of communication open

421. and the promise of vitalequipment on the horizon,

422. Philippe and I can start thinking about the food.

423. Do you not think the menu's too big?

424. Yes, it is.

425. Maybe, finally, we'restarting to get somewhere.

426. To pull in lunchtime diners, it's out with fusion confusion

427. and with a snappy menu of tasty, fresh food

428. that can be pushed out quick.

429. Do you see what I'm try to do?

430. I'm just trying to lift it.

431. I don't want to get complicated.

432. These guys aren't in a position to get

433. anything complicated done.

434. That's pretty obvious.

435. And Phil's come out withthe classic French sandwich

436. to get our creative juices flowing.

437. So you're quite passionateabout the croque-monsieur?

438. I do like it, yes.

439. When you'reso passionate about something

440. as nice and delicious as this, how

441. can you make thatbaguette with the chicken

442. and the plastic cheese?

443. I know.

444. This is wateroff a duck's back for you.

445. You're a Frenchman.

446. This surely must be the kindof food you like cooking.

447. It is.

448. Because I've seen more or less

449. the last 10 minutes than I have in three days.

450. Yeah.

451. Yeah.

452. It would be nice for you togive a little bite to the guys

453. and tell them about it.

454. Show them a little bit of passion.

455. At last, some real food.

456. And it smells delicious.

457. All the way from Dijon.

458. Huh?

459. You're happy with that one, aren't you?

460. Mm.

461. That's beautiful.

462. Very nice.

463. Alcima, what did you think?

464. I like it.

465. Munia, baguette, chickenbaguette, or croque-monsieur?

466. I think the croque-monsieurls much better.

467. It looks better, tastes better.

468. We're going to take a picture.

469. Why are we taking a picture Philippe?

470. For records of it?

471. It becomes idiot-proof.

472. No matter how easy you think the sandwich is,

473. it's still possible to damagea business on a shit sandwich.

474. In the past year, Philippehas already changed the menu

475. four times to no effect.

476. So it's not surprising that Israel

477. needs a little reassurancethat another new menu

478. is the right step.

479. If we agreed that we'regoing to cook it this way

480. and he changes it and cutscorners, that is frustrating.

481. When I talkabout reintroducing menus,

482. I'm not talking about fuckingfood that's over his head,

483. I'm talking about soups, sandwiches, and straightforward

484. dishes that you can identify—

485. that are idiot-proof and fucking delicious.

486. That's music to my ears.

487. That's all.

488. But it's not just the food that's

489. been letting the place down.

490. Dave Bone has been a worryto me ever since I arrived.

491. He's talked the talk, butdone little to back it up.

492. You have fallen for the biggest problem

493. any restaurant manager has with their staff,

494. you've become their best mate.

495. And that's pissed off a few people in here.

496. You can't afford to run this restaurant

497. as your social event, otherwise, mate,

498. you won't be here for much longer.

499. Turning it into my own showwas probably not the best

500. business, but the easiest.

501. You're running a fuckingsmart, cool, cafe bar.

502. New start, stand apart from your staff.

503. It's time for a peace summitbetween the warring factions,

504. so I've asked Israel to come up with an exercise

505. to promote communication andtrust between the kitchen

506. and the front of house teams.

507. You add your onionsinto it and you start smashing.

508. They're goingto be making guacamole,

509. but there's a twist.

510. And the teams are—

511. Philippe, you're partnered up with David.

512. The person in the back isactually making the guacamole,

513. but you're all going tobe putting a blindfold on,

514. so you're going to have to depend on the person

515. in front of you directing you—

516. I.e., we're going to have to depend

517. on the restaurant helping the kitchen,

518. and the kitchen helping the restaurant.

519. Put your blindfold on.

520. Yeah, the head, not the neck, Dave.

521. Hands behind your back.

522. Three minutes, starting from—

523. now.

524. Very softly, pick up one.

525. And if you pick up the bowl next to it—

526. Whoa, slowly, because you're digging in—

527. It doesn't matte.

528. No not peach, a pinch—

529. as in, a pinch. - Oh, pinch.

530. Sorry.

531. Half-way there.

532. Eat it, Munia.

533. You're a chef.

534. Pull out your finger.

535. No stop— stop moving.

536. What's that?

537. That's me tasting it.

538. Israel, how are we doing?

539. We're done.

540. Now give it another mash.

541. Stop!

542. Bowls In front.

543. OK, this one.

544. Mm, it's quite nice, but nothing's mushed up.

545. So who's fault was that?

546. Munia's?

547. I guess.

548. I was the one that couldn't see?

549. So—

550. Mm.

551. Not bad.

552. Nice, but there's no Tabasco in there.

553. Dave and Philippe's yours was the best.

554. Thank you very much.

555. I think Dave gaveyou more encouragement there,

556. in last three minutes, thanhe has done in two years.

557. No matter what happens from this day on,

558. you guys have got to get on.

559. Because if the head chef and the general manager get on,

560. then everybody elseunderneath you follows suit.

561. Do you understand the importance of that?

562. We did quite well. A good start.

563. - Totally agree. - It's a start.

564. Give him a kiss.

565. No.

566. Let's not go down there.

567. Here's to bonding— a happy couple.

568. Cheers.

569. Philippe and Dave.

570. Go on. There you go.

571. The bonding masters.

572. One smallstep for Philippe and Dave,

573. but potentially a huge leap for the business.

574. I am never going to putyour finder in my mouth again.

575. You put your finger?

576. No, yours!

577. My finger in your—

578. Jesus Christ!

579. By day four, Israel's ready to grab

580. his business by the balls.

581. This is his last roll of the dice,

582. and he wants to start with consistently good

583. fresh food from the kitchen.

584. ?

585. Philippe, they'rethe new potatoes aren't they?

586. Yes. Nicely roasted.

587. They' don't taste very nice.

588. They just taste bitter.

589. They haven't gone into the fryer have they.

590. No, no.

591. You sure you haven't put them in the fryer?

592. Yep.

593. Uh, look, Mister, let me just have a quick word

594. and very, very important.

595. Yeah?

596. This man is paying your salary.

597. His business is about to close.

598. Do you understand howcritical the situation is?

599. I do.

600. So pay the man fucking

601. respect and tell the truth.

602. You have deep-fried those potatoes.

603. No these haven't been deep-fried.

604. They are wrinkled, dehydrated, and they have

605. been in the deep fat fryer.

606. That's dehydrated.

607. You're talking to a chef.

608. And for as long as I've gota hole in my butt, big boy,

609. those fucking potatoes havebeen in the deep fat fryer.

610. Don't fucking lie.

611. I know what I did.

612. You know the oven even hotenough to roast a potato.

613. We can't even cook a fucking burger in there.

614. They've bee in the fryer.

615. Tell the fucking truth.

616. Look, it went in the oven.

617. Tell him the fucking truth.

618. He's so adamant I've even started

619. to doubt my ownjudgment, until I tracked

620. down Alcima How many trays of potatoes

621. did you fry this morning?

622. I fried everything here.

623. You tried all four?

624. Yes.

625. And who told you to fry them?

626. My chef.

627. Your chef, yeah.

628. Why did you deep-fry the potatoes?

629. You said it earlier, it's because the oven

630. is nowhere near hot enough.

631. Right.

632. Can we get back to basicsnow and cut the fucking crap?

633. Sorry, but I fucking hate liars.

634. It's not right, Philippe.

635. It was me who is asking you.

636. Yeah, in front of the camera.

637. Forget about the fucking camera.

638. I don't— Philippe, don't youthink that the only reason

639. I'm doing maybe this program is because this

640. is the last thing that I can do to save the business.

641. I want honesty from you.

642. That's all I want.

643. Don't be ever, ever scaredof looking like a prat,

644. but rather be an honest fraud than a liar pray.

645. Because then you'd lose self respect.

646. My mistake.

647. I can only apologize for this.

648. If there's one thing

649. worse than a chef who can't cook,

650. it's a chef who tells porkies.

651. My workload has just doubled.

652. And there's only one way outof this calamitous cul-de-sac.

653. To get this place back online we're

654. going have to close to two days.

655. There's no way on Earth we're ever

656. going to get the food back up to scratch

657. while you're sending what you're sending out.

658. I need 48 hours.

659. We'll work on tidying up the dining

660. room, painting, and every member of staff

661. working for that goal—

662. to get it fresh.

663. And then two days in thekitchen to get it on track.

664. How do you feel about it, Israel?

665. We can't afford not to take money,

666. but we can't afford notto have a future business.

667. I think something we need to stop is the bullshit.

668. I need people to be honest with me.

669. Philippe, are you ready for this?

670. If it is to make the businessbetter, I'm 110% behind.

671. It's not just the kitchen, but I'm talking

672. about the dining room as well.

673. There's a serious improvementthere to take place.

674. It's a lack of pride.

675. A lack of pride.

676. And the potatoes was a prime fucking example.

677. Cut the bullshit.

678. You hit the nail on the fucking head.

679. And those that are pullingon the ropes, stay and work.

680. Those that aren't interestedin pulling on the fucking rope,

681. fuck off.

682. Day five at D-place in Essex.

683. I'll be established the chef is to be

684. kept in a very short leashand his food is beyond tragic.

685. So for the first time in four years.

686. Israel has shut D-place down.

687. Hello, Michael this is ..

688. Just returning your call.

689. With no customers,

690. we can throw everything at revitalizing

691. the image and most importantly, the god-awful menu,

692. Who's fault is it really?

693. It's mine and nobody else.

694. Now, it's a fresh start.

695. Let's get it back on the road, and very soon

696. we'll be on the motorway.

697. When a restaurantdrastically changes its food,

698. it's important to back it upwith the right atmosphere.

699. A couple of coats of paint is an easy way

700. to dazzle your customers andgive you a second chance.

701. Today was just about gettingthe whole place back to look

702. sharp, crisp, clean, and nice.

703. I walk in and say, wow, I like it.

704. The kitchen'sbeen scrubbed clean

705. and the oven's fixed at last.

706. But that's not all.

707. For Phil, it seems all hisnoels have come at once.

708. I'm shaking.

709. I'm actually going to have akitchen with proper equipment.

710. Israel and Tara must be bleeding somewhere.

711. This one's going home with me.

712. I'm sleeping with it tonight, not Dave.

713. From now on, plastic sauces and frozen foods

714. are barred.

715. The new menu will be cooked strictly

716. from fresh ingredients.

717. And our first buy is a hour kilo ham.

718. Drizzle the honey and the brown sugar over.

719. It's a delicious steal ata cost of just 10 pounds.

720. And with a little lateral thinking,

721. it's a potential money spinner.

722. This ham— how far has it gone already?

723. Fried eggs with ham, croque-monsieur, pea and ham

724. soup.

725. Can you see just how much moneyyou can generate from one ham?

726. Yes?

727. Surrounded by all this fresh food,

728. there's a tangible change of energy

729. in Philippe's two young chefs.

730. The seasoning is quite even.

731. Quite nice.

732. So it's is not too much.

733. While Munia tends to the soup,

734. Alcima is carefully preparing a pot

735. of delicious bubble and squeak.

736. What do you think?

737. Just a little bit moresalt. A little bit more salt.

738. Yeah, good. I'm glad you said that.

739. Fresh food.

740. Fresh food.Mm.

741. Fucking hell.

742. Their career is in your fucking hands.

743. You're supposed to beguiding them through this,

744. do you know that? Yeah.

745. Yeah?

746. How many big chefs did you workfor when you were their age?

747. Quite a few.

748. Yeah?

749. And did they kick your ass?

750. Oh, yes.

751. Do you hate them for it?

752. I love them for it.

753. You love them for it.

754. Do you think they love youwhen you show them nothing?

755. I think, now, I'm going learn.

756. You've madethat from start to finish.

757. Before he tastes it, do youknow what I'm going to do?

758. Take a fucking photograph.

759. Philippe, that's your reference.

760. Yes?

761. At last it feels like we're getting somewhere.

762. The chefs are enthused, and the dining room

763. has been transformedalmost beyond recognition.

764. But as it stands, the outside of the building

765. is selling all our hard work short.

766. The building's beautiful, so show it off.

767. But we've got to get rid of all the tacky shit

768. stuck to the front of it.

769. Now, that you mention it,

770. and you see it from a different point of view,

771. we're promoting drinks.

772. We're saying cocktail night Thursday night.

773. And we've got our menu displayedon a tatty board there.

774. You're waking up to it.

775. And I'm glad you're startingto open your fucking eyes,

776. because it really is important.

777. And fucking word D-place—

778. well, that's got to go in D-bin.

779. I think there's been consensus.

780. We're going for Saracens Cafe Bar.

781. Fucking perfect.

782. Israel, it seems, is now on a crusade to bring

783. D-place back from the dead.

784. Now get out of there and tell the world about it.

785. We've got just one daybefore the customers return

786. to a fully-booked grand reopening.

787. Everything depends on thekitchen perfecting each

788. and every new dish on the menu.

789. Nicely fried eggs— turn down the gas.

790. I don't want the yolks broken, OK?

791. They may be easy peasy, but consistent quality

792. will be the key to ensure repeat business.

793. You have to get in there and really concentrate.

794. Yeah?

795. Yep.

796. This is so fucking easy.

797. The centerpiece for our menu is going

798. to be the most famous butty in the world, the club sandwich.

799. When I started cooking, I hadto make these for a living—

800. every day the same, every day the same.

801. In just 12 hours time, thechefs in the front of house

802. have got to function as atight-knit, well-oiled machine.

803. Chicken avocado salad.

804. That the ham-roasted with double-fried egg.

805. And a minormiracle has occurred—

806. Salmon fishcake, tartar sauce—

807. —Dave and Philippe

808. are communicating civilly.

809. That's fantastic.

810. They all look really nice.

811. The food is looking 200% better.

812. But to please our lunch-hour crowd,

813. tomorrow, the grub will have to fly out.

814. Are you ready?

815. I need be sure these boysare really on their toes.

816. I'll do the toast.

817. When that foes to 12—

818. We go.

819. Go!

820. Three club sandwich, quick.

821. I'll do the bread.

822. Quick, quick, quick!

823. What are you doing first?

824. Avocado.

825. Come on!

826. Tomorrow is fully-booked for lunch—

827. fully-booked.

828. Philippe, it's not funny, you know that?

829. Yes, I know that.

830. Alcima is the only that's thought

831. about putting his bacon on.

832. Who else is going to put their bacon on?

833. I am.

834. When?

835. Tonight?

836. Nope.

837. I need that bread, please.

838. Oh, yes, here we go.

839. Hey, presenting beautifully, yeah?

840. Anyone thought aboutstarting their french fries?

841. There you go.

842. I've got your fries on, OK?

843. Thank you, Chef.

844. Look at the speed of you—

845. fantastically fast.

846. Is the executive chef going to come in last?

847. Hey!

848. That's mine.

849. No, that's his.

850. That's yours there.

851. Thank you.

852. , Munia.

853. Come on!

854. Don't quit, big boy.

855. Do not quit.

856. You never ever throw the towel in on service.

857. Just come to the hot plate andaccidentally drop your plate.

858. No, drop it!

859. Oh, shit!

860. - Oh, man. - Man!

861. Damn. Shit!

862. Munia!

863. Hey, listen, all three of you, well done.

864. That was fucking excellent.

865. The speed, working underpressure, and concentrating

866. was phenomenal.

867. And the best sandwich is yours Philippe.

868. Great, without him even knowing it,

869. I've just managed demote executive chef

870. to the club sandwich chef.

871. Now, tomorrow, we've actuallygot a chance of fucking

872. surviving a very busy lunch.

873. 10:00 AM launch day—

874. with 70 customers booked in for lunch,

875. no one can afford to be ill-prepared.

876. I'll be running checks andchecking out the kitchen.

877. All right?

878. It's a delicate balance.

879. We've got a new menu.

880. Are you ready for this?

881. Yes.

882. Big day, huh?

883. Don't fuck it up.

884. The waiting staff for only justup to speed, and one weak link

885. could bring Israel's last remaining business

886. tumbling about his ears.

887. I think it will go well.

888. I'm nervous, because everybody's on edge.

889. It's like opening a brand new business.

890. I've done it before, and I know had disastrous it can be.

891. The first thing I've got tosay is, D-place is defunct—

892. it's gone.

893. Welcome to the new Saracens Cafe Bar, Yes?

894. We work together as a team, we understand each other.

895. There are going to be severalcustomers that are going

896. be going for a 30-minute lunch.

897. That's a soup and asandwich, a soup and a salad,

898. whatever they prefer within 30 minutes.

899. I can guarantee you, ifthey leave under 30 minutes,

900. they will be back next week three or four times

901. between Monday and Friday.

902. Get it right, yeah?

903. This is it.

904. Without you I can't do it.

905. Consistency, Alcima.

906. Yeah?

907. Bingo.

908. New order— two tomato soup, two sandwiches.

909. That's the quick deal—

910. 30 minutes, yeah? Yeah it is.

911. Well, tell the brigade.

912. the lunch deal is cheap, at just six pound 50.

913. Is the bacon on to the club sandwich?

914. Is it toasted?

915. It's going now.

916. Come on.

917. To make it worth Israel's while, Dave

918. must fill the restaurant twice over, which

919. means turning the tables fast.

920. How long on a soup and a sandwich?

921. This has to go like clockwork.

922. Give me three minutes.

923. Three more minutes, excellent.

924. Good. Two seconds— Philippe?

925. Yeah.

926. Philippe?

927. Philippe? Yeah?

928. What's that in there?

929. On your potato?

930. Where did that come from?

931. I know we got to push it out, and move our ass,

932. but we're not going to serve that like that.

933. What's burning?

934. Turn it over.

935. Medium— fucking hell.

936. We've been overthis menu time and time again,

937. but Munia and Alcima are alreadybuckling under the pressure.

938. Ham and eggs— howfucking difficult is that?

939. Look, you've burst the yolk, It's

940. the customer's privilegeto burst their own fucking

941. yolk— not you, yes?

942. And there's only three orders on.

943. Where's the lettuce, Munia andvinaigrette on the

944. pissing over the plate.

945. By 12:30, the restaurant'sfull to bursting.

946. Do we have a waiting list?

947. No.

948. It's all down to the kitchen now.

949. One more club.

950. Another bread.

951. But another burger with chips and baked beans.

952. Service, please.

953. Service, please.

954. Where's the rest of the fishcakes?

955. I said to take some out of the freezer.

956. It seems my superbasic menu isn't basic enough

957. for this team of numbskulls.

958. They're not cooked.

959. They are cooked.

960. No, they're not cooked.

961. Look— Munia, Munia—

962. The burner in the deep fat fryer has gone out,

963. and they've been tryingto cook chips in cold oil.

964. Properly cooked. No wonder.

965. But you can't let one

966. problem bring the whole operation to its knees.

967. Nobody's fried a potato wedge in a pan, no?

968. Yeah.

969. It's almostlike a roasted potato.

970. Altogether, six soup.

971. The orders a stocking up,

972. and the panic has already set in.

973. Call these new orders.

974. Can I have some grass on this soup, please?

975. You mean chive?

976. Yeah, just give me thefreaking grass— that's fine.

977. Thank you.

978. And now there'sa problem with the tickets.

979. Table four, five.

980. Five.

981. Table five, I don't haven.

982. All the communication

983. has gone out the window, and the customers

984. are left in the dark as to whytheir food is taking so long.

985. We have an hour for lunch.

986. So obviously, we have to tryand fit food in within the hour.

987. So I've just had to phone the office

988. and tell them we're going to be a bit late.

989. We've got to get back to work in two minutes.

990. Those are gettingtheir food are loving it.

991. But 20 minutes later, there's no resolve

992. to the ticket confusion.

993. The ticket's gone.

994. It's not down there.

995. That's why there's such aproblem, because they've

996. been waiting absolutely ages andnobody's got them their food.

997. Phil's onlyguidance through this mess

998. are his tickets.

999. But it seems everyone's had their hands on them.

1000. I don't have the ticket back.

1001. And if a chef loses an order,

1002. it's like an air trafficcontroller losing a plane.

1003. Dave took it and he didn't bring it back.

1004. One rib eye rare, one side—

1005. And this one's going down fast.

1006. Hold on. Come here, come here.

1007. What's going on?

1008. Why is the food coming back?

1009. Table seven— I've got a table seven

1010. hear that you've given me, that was gone a long time ago.

1011. I got that.

1012. So we've already sent the table?

1013. I've had it—GORDON RAMSAY: Oh, come on.

1014. Right now, we don't need tofucking repeat the order.

1015. Huh?

1016. That's because the waiterleaves the order here.

1017. No.

1018. Don't blame the waiter.

1019. Doesn't put it on the ..

1020. No.

1021. ,I'm going for a cigarette.

1022. I have had it. Hello?

1023. Enough of this shit.

1024. What do you mean you're

1025. going out for a cigarette?- Well no.

1026. I have had enough of this shit.

1027. Yeah, but we're sinking!

1028. You can't just disappear!

1029. There is enough, OK—

1030. when somebody does a mistake,I'm the first to admit it,

1031. but not when I'm coveringfor someone else's shit.

1032. But you're— I have had enough of this!

1033. You can't just walk

1034. out for a cigarette, Phillipe!

1035. I'm sorry!

1036. The shit's hit the fan—

1037. I'm here to help.

1038. Let's get back on herestraightaway and start again.

1039. Let's go! Come on!

1040. It seems Israel believes Philippe's not entirely

1041. to blame for this fiasco.

1042. Why do I have a waiter who's going

1043. into the kitchen with aproblem without Dave knowing?

1044. You've been told their is a manager on the floor,

1045. and that manager should be on the ball

1046. with every single fucking table.

1047. What stage are they? Have they had their coffee?

1048. Have they had their drink? How long since they ordered?

1049. That's what I want out of him.

1050. It stops here.

1051. Yeah.

1052. No, it has to stop here.

1053. Exactly that.

1054. I was wrong.

1055. Israel's right.

1056. As a manager, Dave should havethe situation well in hand.

1057. You are in charge of

1058. the food in and out. And it's going in and out.

1059. You need to know at what stage—

1060. I know. - No.

1061. It's going in and out.- Hang on!

1062. Hang on, let me finish. - Don't shout at me. no.

1063. OK.

1064. Talk to me pleasantly.

1065. Get off the floor, now. All right.

1066. Get off the flow now. Fine.

1067. OK. Get off the floor now.

1068. Fine.

1069. Use the back door, please.

1070. The catalog ofdisasters has taken their toll.

1071. Israel's had to give away over 100

1072. pounds worth ofcomplimentary food and drink.

1073. And to avoid further embarrassment,

1074. he's decided to shut the servicedown after just one sitting.

1075. How long for table four, Philippe?

1076. Do you know how long I've been in here?

1077. I can imagine.

1078. One hour, 20 fucking minutes.

1079. One hour and 20 minutes.

1080. What the fuck's going to happen Saturday?

1081. Tomorrow we're going to haveto get that ship together,

1082. that's for sure.

1083. It's been a realdisappointment for everyone.

1084. But we can learn from today's harsh lessons.

1085. May I suggest you only takethe customers you can do,

1086. and then each and every day, build it.

1087. Because Chelmsford is a small, close-knit town, and if word

1088. spreads that you'vereopened and the food's not

1089. as good as you think it shouldbe, then they won't come back.

1090. Phil's clearly been throughthe mill these last few days.

1091. Even though I didn't want to admit it,

1092. I have actually lost partof the passion which I had.

1093. Doesn't it become painfultrying to cook with no feeling?

1094. It becomes an

1095. Will you find that passion again?

1096. It has come back, already.

1097. Well, I didn't think that lunch time when you

1098. walked out for a cigarette—

1099. but you came back.

1100. That was the most importantthing, you know that?

1101. Yeah.

1102. And I appreciated that.

1103. Yeah.

1104. Hey, I didn't want to do it without you.

1105. It's not my kitchen— this is your kitchen.

1106. I know.

1107. Perhaps one of the toughest weeks I've

1108. ever had in my fucking career?

1109. Yeah?

1110. Oh, yeah.

1111. Oh, shit.

1112. Yeah, definitely.

1113. But get it back on track.

1114. That's the most important thing.

1115. Israel, keep on them—

1116. breathing down their necks, yeah?

1117. Thank you very much.

1118. - Bye. - Thank you.

1119. Bye. - Thank you, Gordon.

1120. Thank you, guys.

1121. Chef— - Thank you.

1122. Yes.

1123. Do you really hate me?

1124. Can I pass on the comment?

1125. Bye, guys. No.

1126. Yes. Thank you very much.

1127. Hey, I'll back. Thank you.

1128. I'll be back.

1129. Yes. - Good.

1130. new potatoes.

1131. Bye.

1132. Bye bye.

1133. You can breathe now, Philippe.

1134. It's beensix weeks since I was last

1135. in Chelmsford, and I've heard rumors

1136. that something strange has been going on

1137. at the Saracens Head Cafe Bar.

1138. What happened to Saracen's Head?

1139. In the week I spent at the place,

1140. it didn't take long to sussout that D stood for dreadful.

1141. And for as long as I've gota hole in my butt, big boy,

1142. those fucking potatoes havebeen in the deep fat fryer.

1143. The owners were in dire straits—

1144. If I don't do something drastic,

1145. then this business will go down the pan.

1146. —and thestaff were dysfunctional.

1147. From now on, stop beinga stubborn fucking French

1148. bastard.

1149. We need to turn their attitudes

1150. around and fucking getthis place back on track.

1151. Over the longest seven days of my life,

1152. we injected some passion into the food—

1153. No, that's his!

1154. That's yours there!

1155. , Munia!

1156. Come on!

1157. —and got the team eatingout of each other's hands.

1158. What's that?

1159. That's me tasting it.

1160. It wasn't perfect—

1161. I've got to get back to work in two minutes.

1162. —but I reallyfelt the Saracen's Cafe bar was

1163. well on the road to recovery.

1164. All three of you, well done.

1165. That was fucking excellent.

1166. The latest news from inside is unbelievable.

1167. I thought things couldn't getany worse, but they just have.

1168. And God, how strange.

1169. I mean really, really strange.

1170. Israel is no longer there.

1171. The place has gone into receivership,

1172. she said, two weeks ago.

1173. It doesn't belong to him.

1174. The brewery have taken itback and he's been kicked out.

1175. The brewery has put thelease of D-place up for sale,

1176. and Israel and Tara are out on their ears.

1177. Ironically, the one person Isuspected might not be here,

1178. is here—

1179. Philippe Blaise, executivechef extraordinaire.

1180. It's a very, very sad story.

1181. What's a shock!

1182. Total, total, shock.

1183. Yeah.

1184. And everything you put into it, and what

1185. the guy's done, and just—

1186. All gone down the drain, basically.

1187. You're looking very clean.

1188. You're obviously not makingmini club sandwiches.

1189. We are actually.- What's the time down to?

1190. We are.

1191. It's one of the best seller.

1192. What?

1193. Better than the croque-monsieur?- It is.

1194. No, come on.

1195. It is a better salad thanthe the croque-monsieur.

1196. What's coming out the quickest?

1197. The club sandwich.

1198. The club sandwich.

1199. So it appears that thingswere really starting to happen

1200. at D-place after I left.

1201. And the food sales were on the up.

1202. Hello, Israel.

1203. Hello.

1204. I did not expect to see you here, you know that?

1205. But it seems it was too little, too late for Israel and Tara.

1206. - How are you doing? - Well, shit.

1207. Yeah, very well?

1208. How are you feeling? - All right, thank you.

1209. Yeah?

1210. It was our last chance toget it together and we did.

1211. The town was buzzing with Saracens Head being

1212. able to produce the quality of the food

1213. that we were producing— nice, simple.

1214. People were coming and saying it was delicious.

1215. It was perfect.

1216. They didn'thave long to reap the benefits.

1217. Shortly after I left, thebrewery took the business

1218. out of Israel and Tara's hands.

1219. And then it just happenedon the spur of the moment

1220. that you're at work, and allof a sudden bang.

1221. Well, we didn't even know we were

1222. going to be asked for the keys.

1223. Just bought a new house, mortgage—

1224. all at the wrong time.

1225. You're out on your ass.

1226. You're seven months pregnant?

1227. Eight months pregnant.

1228. Eight months pregnant?

1229. I mean, this is not the kind ofpredicament I expected to see.

1230. What did you lose?

1231. Israel lost, obviously, more than I did.

1232. But mine was inheritance frommy mother and my grandmother.

1233. The fact that I wasnaive and didn't know how

1234. corporate big nationals work, and the world

1235. of the accountants and the solicitors,

1236. and all of that crap—

1237. I didn't know anything about it.

1238. I know how to serve people.

1239. I know to make them smile.

1240. I know how to deal with a complaint.

1241. I know how to deal with the kitchen.

1242. I don't know what to deal with business—

1243. transactions of that matter.

1244. And that's where it hurts.

1245. I feel so sorry for them.

1246. And I still can't quite believe what's happened.

1247. Good luck with the baby.

1248. Take care.

1249. Israel and Tara had generally thought they

1250. could keep the business going.

1251. But sadly, after calling thespokesperson for the brewery,

1252. it all becomes crystal clear.

1253. OK.

1254. SPOKESPERSON [ON THE All right.

1255. Thank you.

1256. Bye.

1257. Its sounds, now, like the brewery

1258. were only acting in their best interest

1259. by accepting the highest bid.

1260. And I think Israel has been slightly naive.

1261. No matter how good the food isyou've really got to understand

1262. every aspect of your business.

1263. And the areas you don't understand, seek

1264. advice, before you get fucked.

1265. Ready

1266. GORDON RAMSAY: 6 and a half minutes.

1267. That's not bad!

1268. Does it tastes as good as it looks?

1269. Mmm, very nice.

1270. You have got your passionback, do you know that?

1271. That is fucking delicious.

1272. Thanks.

1273. Nailed it.