1. Well, hello, hello, hello, hello,Copy !req
2. and welcome to QI,Copy !req
3. where this week our food for thought
is food.Copy !req
4. Surfing on a smorgasbord
of succulence ce soirCopy !req
5. is our delicious panel.Copy !req
6. The rarest of truffles,
David Mitchell!Copy !req
7. The choicest of cuts, Rich Hall!Copy !req
8. The strangest of fruit, Jimmy Carr!Copy !req
9. And something furry that's fallen
down the gap between the oven
and the dishwasher, Alan Davies!Copy !req
10. We're sitting comfortably. Let's
ring for service. David goes...Copy !req
11. Jimmy goes...Copy !req
12. Rich goes...Copy !req
13. Alan goes...Copy !req
14. Right,Copy !req
15. before we tuck in, I've had a tongue
down your... I've put a tongue...Copy !req
16. You will find a tongue.Copy !req
17. I've put a tongue.
Is there a tongue under there?Copy !req
18. Is this what you were referring to?
Yes!Copy !req
19. That is what's known as
a tongue map.Copy !req
20. During the course of this evening's
festivities,Copy !req
21. I'd like you to fill in the areas
of the tongue that are responsible
for which flavours.Copy !req
22. There's a certain number of flavours
that the tongue can detect.Copy !req
23. So each area is a different area
of taste?Copy !req
24. So if you had that bit
of your tongue lopped off,Copy !req
25. you wouldn't be able to taste
certain stuff?Copy !req
26. That's the theory of a tongue map.Copy !req
27. But there are only five things
that a tongue can detect.Copy !req
28. How does the food know where to go?Copy !req
29. While you're thinking about that,
let's have a question.Copy !req
30. What kind of animalCopy !req
31. can you eat without killing it?Copy !req
32. Rich?Copy !req
33. Crabs, unintentionally.Copy !req
34. In the south, in the deep south
in the Bayou,Copy !req
35. the Bayou or the Bayou,Copy !req
36. yeah, uh-huh, yeah.Copy !req
37. The freshwater mussels, they pick
them out of the water with tiny
pink crabs on 'emCopy !req
38. and they're considered a delicacy.Copy !req
39. They're alive when you swallow 'em.Copy !req
40. These are things you can eat fully,
but you don't kill the animal.Copy !req
41. Something that comes through like
sweetcorn, except it's still
running around?Copy !req
42. Is that what you're saying?Copy !req
43. No! Comes out unharmed.
I'm not saying it passes through
the digestive system, no.Copy !req
44. But it stays in you and sets up
a community. Is it what they put
in Yakult?Copy !req
45. Yes! They witter on about that.
Bifidus digestivum.
L-casei immunitas.Copy !req
46. David, you know these things.
I'm impressed.Copy !req
47. I spend a lot of time watching TV.Copy !req
48. Listening to the new made-up science
is entertaining!Copy !req
49. I love it when they go, "Do you want
to buy a tiny pot of off milk?"Copy !req
50. "Yes!" It's such a good deal.
"Just try it for nine weeks.Copy !req
51. "If you don't feel better, give up,
cos if everyone tries it for nine
weeks, we're in the money."Copy !req
52. Do ladies sit around discussing
bloating a lot?Copy !req
53. It happens in the adverts.Copy !req
54. If there are ladies watching this,
and talking about bloating,Copy !req
55. have they tried farting
like a docker?Copy !req
56. Cos it works remarkably well for me!Copy !req
57. Try to get someone to pull their
finger. Lady bloating is different,
I believe.Copy !req
58. They bloat differently?
I believe so.Copy !req
59. They also talk increasingly on TV
about being constipated.Copy !req
60. That's... The standard of female
conversation is plummeting!Copy !req
61. That's true! What happened to the
little ladies who were so refined?Copy !req
62. Anyway, in a sense, you're probably
right about bacteriaCopy !req
63. which would possibly pass through
and not be killed.Copy !req
64. But this is actually a delicacy. I'm
inclined to give the point to RichCopy !req
65. because he's accidentally right...
As usual! and wrong as well.Copy !req
66. That's the story of my life!
It's one of the most popular foods,Copy !req
67. almost the national dish,
of Florida. Tapeworm!Copy !req
68. Not tapeworm, no,
it's a type of crab.Copy !req
69. It's a stone crab. Right.Copy !req
70. Stone crab tours are very popular.
There is a stone crab.Copy !req
71. The fishermen catch the crab,
they snap off the claws,Copy !req
72. and throw the crab back in
and it takes a year for its claws
to grow back.Copy !req
73. It's considered a great delicacy,
served with butter and mustard
sauce, very popularCopy !req
74. in restaurants in America,
but particularly in Florida.Copy !req
75. What does it do for a year, armless,
wandering about?Copy !req
76. I mean...
He keeps himself to himself.Copy !req
77. The crab is dismayed when it loses
its claws. "Now I can't get
any work done!Copy !req
78. "All that stuff. I'm trying
to rearrange the sea-bedCopy !req
79. "and it'll be a year
before I can do anything!Copy !req
80. "I'll just have to lay up."Copy !req
81. It's almost like they're
fruit-bearing animals.Copy !req
82. That's pretty similar to that.
Exactly.Copy !req
83. An apple tree has its apples taken
off and next year it grows
more apples.Copy !req
84. So maybe they're trees.Copy !req
85. Just seafoody trees
that can walk around.Copy !req
86. You could have given me as an answer
as well, there are certain tribesmen
in the Masai Mara in KenyaCopy !req
87. who will drink the blood of cattle,
not kill them,Copy !req
88. but slit the throat, drink the blood
and mix it with milk, actually.Copy !req
89. Then they bind up the wound
so they don't kill the cow.Copy !req
90. But that practice is dying out.
So they think cattle have
two drinks.Copy !req
91. You can have one or the other
or a mixture of the two. Fantastic.Copy !req
92. These two-drink animals! Anyway,Copy !req
93. stone crabs it is. They're returned
to the sea alive and their claws
have been taken off.Copy !req
94. They grow another though it's never
as good as the first one.Copy !req
95. Now, what can you usefully teach
an oyster?Copy !req
96. Yes? Is it not to get its hopes up?Copy !req
97. Aw! Is it to expect lemon juice
and death?Copy !req
98. "Don't put up a struggle.
It'll never work."Copy !req
99. Teach it, "When you get lemons,
make lemonade." Cheer it on.Copy !req
100. "When you get lemons,
you're seconds away from death.Copy !req
101. "Cos you're not like
that kind of crab."Copy !req
102. When you think about it, there's
not much an oyster can do.Copy !req
103. Teach it to blend into parties and
make it look like it was invited.Copy !req
104. True. Cos if you go to a party
and there's a snack tray,
no-one ever says,Copy !req
105. "Who invited the oysters?"Copy !req
106. True. No-one says that.Copy !req
107. Teach them to do impressions.
They do a good one of a whelk.Copy !req
108. They do. Teach it rudimentary
percussion.Copy !req
109. If you showed it a castanet,Copy !req
110. it would probably think,
"I can do that."Copy !req
111. You're very close.Copy !req
112. What it is is that out of the water,
oysters will stay fresh so long
as they're closed.Copy !req
113. But they live their lives opening
and closing their shellsCopy !req
114. to let nutrients in
which they filter.Copy !req
115. So the thing is to teach them
to keep their mouths closed
for long periods of time.Copy !req
116. You do that?Copy !req
117. Well, the French did.Copy !req
118. The French simply hit them with
metal rods which makes them close.Copy !req
119. They'd do that for longer
and longer and they'd learnCopy !req
120. cos they know they'll get hit
all the time.Copy !req
121. The French have a gift for cruelty!
They do, don't they?Copy !req
122. But what happened in New York,
when the settlers first arrived
in what is now New York,Copy !req
123. there was a profusion of oysters,
some a foot long.Copy !req
124. But they couldn't transport them
across the StatesCopy !req
125. because they'd go off
cos they had their things open.
There was no ice around.Copy !req
126. So they would move them up the bank
at each tideCopy !req
127. so they had more and more time in
the air and that would teach themCopy !req
128. to have their mouths closed
for longer. So they'd learnCopy !req
129. to have their mouths closed
for longer and longerCopy !req
130. until they were closed long enough
to sell them without making
people ill.Copy !req
131. There we are. That's your oyster.Copy !req
132. Now, how did the Mounties use
fruit machines to get their man?Copy !req
133. When you say fruit machines, is this
a friend of yours? I'm sorry?Copy !req
134. Fruit machine!Copy !req
135. That guy's a fruit machine!Copy !req
136. You're right in a sense.
The fruit machine was a nickname,
it wasn't a one-armed bandit.Copy !req
137. It'll be something to do
with actual fruit.Copy !req
138. No, it is actually the meaning of it
that Jimmy,Copy !req
139. in his rapacious and, if I may say,
politically wildly incorrect way,
went for.Copy !req
140. Sorry. Well, the Mountie uniform
is quite..."fruity".Copy !req
141. No. It's easy to forget the
Mounties are the Canadian police,Copy !req
142. the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.Copy !req
143. That's all of them, there. So they
have no unmounted police? Well...Copy !req
144. I don't know... It must be difficult
on raids of small flats.Copy !req
145. "Ow! My head!"Copy !req
146. You should see the squad cars!
They're a mess, David. A mess.Copy !req
147. Imagine trying to chase a heroin
addict up a small staircase
on a horse!Copy !req
148. Ridiculous. The heroin addicts
would know to head for
the small staircase!Copy !req
149. Like trying to police
a country with Daleks!Copy !req
150. It would never work.
With the disabled access,
the Daleks can get everywhere.Copy !req
151. Jimmy, are you saying that you think
disabled access is
a Dalek conspiracy?Copy !req
152. Yes, that is exactly
what I'm saying!Copy !req
153. No, we come back
to this fruit machine.Copy !req
154. In the Cold War period,Copy !req
155. they were worried in a lot
of Western countriesCopy !req
156. about civil servants.Copy !req
157. There'd been scandals about
civil servants being blackmailed.
For what reason?Copy !req
158. Homosexuality. For being homosexual,
being gay.Copy !req
159. Now, the Royal Canadian Mounted
Police were trying to find out the
homosexuals in the civil service.Copy !req
160. So that they could not be
honey-trapped by Soviet spies.Copy !req
161. That was the theory, anyway.Copy !req
162. So is one of these gay? Never Mind
The Buzzcocks. Number three!Copy !req
163. Was this before the RAF
invented "Gaydar"? Yes!Copy !req
164. Exactly! It was a "Gaydar" machine,
if you like,Copy !req
165. a pretty primitive device which,
among other things, showed people
pictures of nude men and womenCopy !req
166. and measured their pupil dilation
and their perspiration.Copy !req
167. But the awful thing is,
if they "failed",Copy !req
168. they were sacked.
That was their job over with.Copy !req
169. They were deemed to be homosexual
and they were out of a job.Copy !req
170. The system was thrown out by
any civil servants who fancy horses!Copy !req
171. Or even running the test,
riding round the room, saying,Copy !req
172. "I can't reach down to the fruit
machine. Damn these horses!"Copy !req
173. This crude measurement device was
replaced, though, by something
called... Dancing On Ice!Copy !req
174. "Do you like "Dancing On Ice"?
Is this a trick question?Copy !req
175. "Yes, I do."You're out."Copy !req
176. You answer, "It's to die for!"Copy !req
177. It's a plethysmograph.Copy !req
178. A plethysmograph is an instrument -
there's a male version
and a female versionCopy !req
179. because they want to catch lesbians
as well -Copy !req
180. so the male version measures
the tumescence of the male member
when certain images are playedCopy !req
181. and for women it's a sort of dildo
that measures lubrication.Copy !req
182. I wouldn't mind doing that! What?Copy !req
183. I just...Copy !req
184. Jimmy, so much is coming out here.Copy !req
185. Just saying, the testing...
You'd like to do that?Copy !req
186. Who got the testing job? That sounds
brilliant! Oh, doesn't it?Copy !req
187. LovelyCopy !req
188. Well, I'm just saying.Copy !req
189. It'd be a giggle. When was this?Copy !req
190. When did they invent that?
Surprisingly recently.Copy !req
191. It was used up until the '80s.Copy !req
192. '80s? Surely it was legal
and above-board in the 1980s?Copy !req
193. Exactly. It's odd.
It's weird that they'd go,
"We'll double-check."Copy !req
194. The odd thing about the fruit
machine was the guy who brought it
to Canada, Kurt Freund,Copy !req
195. had actually invented it in order
to do the precise opposite.Copy !req
196. It was to catch out people
who claimed they were gayCopy !req
197. to use it as exemption for serving
in the Czech army.Copy !req
198. Now, you have a choice of venues
for dinner tonight.Copy !req
199. Russia or France.Copy !req
200. Describe the difference between
Russian and French service.Copy !req
201. In France they give you lots of
vaguely obstetric instrumentsCopy !req
202. to dismantle things like
frogs' legs and snails.Copy !req
203. Special cutlery. All the stuff you'd
have your back yard fumigated for.Copy !req
204. And in Russia, they just go,
"Here's a turnip."Copy !req
205. "If you don't like it,
you're going to Siberia."Copy !req
206. Do you know what the Russian
national dish is? No? Empty.Copy !req
207. It's not my fault!Copy !req
208. I think I know the answer to this.
Go on?Copy !req
209. Almost all service now is what
you'd call Russian service.Copy !req
210. Which means you have food
in courses, one after another.Copy !req
211. And French service, obviously
the French have food in courses
like everyone,Copy !req
212. like the Russians, but French
service was everything
coming at once.Copy !req
213. Like a kind of buffet. That is
an absolutely perfect answer.Copy !req
214. David Mitchell, have a handful
of points.Copy !req
215. And of course there's the tapas
principle in lots of Middle-Eastern
and Mediterranean cooking.Copy !req
216. But the French, right up until
the 19th centuryCopy !req
217. all the courses would come in one
big go. You'd help yourself
to everything.Copy !req
218. And then the Russian ambassador
to Napoleon's courtCopy !req
219. came and said, "We've had this
brilliant idea in Russia.Copy !req
220. "Let's eat one course
and then another."Copy !req
221. This was considered absolutely
staggering and revolutionary,Copy !req
222. and it caught on.Copy !req
223. Then the Americans improved on it
by making it able for you
to drive through in a car!Copy !req
224. And get it in a bag
from a 16-year-old...Copy !req
225. They did indeed. .. with shingles!Copy !req
226. David, I have to call you
my teacher's petCopy !req
227. and you get a special fanfare
instead of a forfeit. Brilliant.Copy !req
228. Teacher's Pet.Copy !req
229. I don't feel that cool!Copy !req
230. It's not a cool thing to be,
but you do get points.Copy !req
231. For some people, that's important.Copy !req
232. Escoffier was the man who introduced
this into private homesCopy !req
233. and more importantly, restaurants.
What do you know about him?
Ask David!Copy !req
234. He started frogs' legs. Right.
I know that cos I heard it
on David's radio show.Copy !req
235. Oh, you...Copy !req
236. I should at this point say
in the QI annual,Copy !req
237. I did a page on Escoffier.Copy !req
238. So I'm quite well, um... This could
be a good bit! First name?Copy !req
239. Auguste. Brilliant.Copy !req
240. Um, and he... Died in?Copy !req
241. I don't know! A terrible house fire!Copy !req
242. 19...Copy !req
243. He died in 1935. He lived a long
time. 62 years he was a chef.Copy !req
244. He founded the Ritz in Paris and the
Carlton in London and was the chef
at the Savoy. Brilliant.Copy !req
245. What's his most famous dish?
He invented Peach Melba
for Dame Nellie Melba.Copy !req
246. Dame Nellie Melba. Also apparently
invented Melba toast for her
as wellCopy !req
247. cos she was dieting
in between Peach Melbas!Copy !req
248. And who was Nellie Melba?
She was an opera singer.Copy !req
249. And what was her real name?
Mitchell. Yes! Very good!Copy !req
250. I think... I'm so impressed.
.. her father was David Mitchell.Copy !req
251. Get out! Do you know...
Do you know...Copy !req
252. I am truly impressed. It's not
a set-up. You are tumescent!
I know you are!Copy !req
253. Where's the fruit machine now?Copy !req
254. Talking about... Nude facts! Oh!Copy !req
255. Again... Can I make you
a double teacher's pet? Yes!Copy !req
256. I'm gonna give you another fanfare
because that was extraordinary.Copy !req
257. I don't want to rain on your parade,
but Stephen's pupils
are ten times bigger!Copy !req
258. I am, as Alan said, aroused
by people who are passionate
about interesting facts.Copy !req
259. The fact is, until Escoffier
introduced "Service a la Rousse",
to Western EuropeCopy !req
260. meals were served all at once and
eaten in whatever order you fancied.Copy !req
261. Let's have a look at your
tasting maps.Copy !req
262. What have we got here? We'll start
with Jimmy. What have you got?Copy !req
263. You taste failure there
and success at the back.Copy !req
264. The bitter taste of resentment.Copy !req
265. Bitter at the back?Copy !req
266. What are the tastes? Salt, sweet...Copy !req
267. Sour, bitter... Didn't they
invent one, which is MSG? Yes.Copy !req
268. But they didn't discover it until
1911 or something?Copy !req
269. Umami. It's the brothy, mushroomy...
I love it. .. slightly savoury.Copy !req
270. Sweet, salt...Copy !req
271. Sour. MSG. Bitter.Copy !req
272. Yes. Is that it? Five. What's
Gordon Ramsay wittering on aboutCopy !req
273. in those shows, if that's it?
On the tongue.Copy !req
274. There's a rainbow of things
in the olfactory bulb in the nose.Copy !req
275. That's where all flavours
can be detected.Copy !req
276. But the tongue
is only for those five.Copy !req
277. What have you got, Rich?Copy !req
278. Guilt. Remorse...
Can you taste guilt?Copy !req
279. Crabby.Copy !req
280. David, what have you got?
I've got, um...Copy !req
281. "Be sick."Copy !req
282. Cos it does make you be sick.Copy !req
283. And that's "forgotten names",
on the tip of your tongue.Copy !req
284. Very good!Copy !req
285. Very good!Copy !req
286. Excellent.Copy !req
287. Alan?Copy !req
288. I've got bitter, sour and sweet
and then I ran out of ideas.Copy !req
289. I had savoury. I didn't think
it was right. Umami is savoury.Copy !req
290. Then I had one left
so I just put jam in!Copy !req
291. Jam!Copy !req
292. For all we know, your tongue may...
Are any of these right?
No. The fact is,Copy !req
293. all this, the whole tongue map idea
is actually nonsense.Copy !req
294. Thank you. Throw your tongue
over your shoulder.Copy !req
295. If I could do that...Copy !req
296. You wouldn't be working here,
for a start!Copy !req
297. I'd be a happy man! She wouldn't
let me leave the house!Copy !req
298. Because you could lick
your shoulder blade?Copy !req
299. Well, the inference being...
I suppose, yes.Copy !req
300. We detect those five primary
flavours all over the tongueCopy !req
301. and not in that... That used to be
held to be the tongue map.Copy !req
302. Amazingly, it's still in
a lot of text books.Copy !req
303. But it is absolutely not true.Copy !req
304. And so we come to the highlight
of our feast,Copy !req
305. the piece de generale ignorance.Copy !req
306. Elbows off the tables
and fingers on the buzzers.Copy !req
307. Name a poisonous snake.Copy !req
308. Yes? Piers Morgan.Copy !req
309. Jimmy, Jimmy!Copy !req
310. Poison is not the same as venom.
It can't be.Copy !req
311. Because there are load
of poisonous snakes.Copy !req
312. You sounded so like Jonathan Creek
just then!Copy !req
313. You suddenly hit it with the pen.
It was so right.Copy !req
314. You went, "Got it! I've got
the answer! In a locked room..."Copy !req
315. There's lots of them.
Well, we haven't name one yet.Copy !req
316. I'm not going to.
They're all gonna be up there.Copy !req
317. I refuse! You're so right.Copy !req
318. We were hoping you'd say cobra
and... He said it! rattlesnake...Copy !req
319. And all those things. But
"poisonous" does not apply to them.Copy !req
320. It means if you eat it, it makes you
very ill or kills you.Copy !req
321. Venom goes... Venom is injected
into your blood.Copy !req
322. Those are all venomous snakes. There
are only two poisonous snakes,Copy !req
323. ones that if you ate would kill you,
like a poison fruit or berry.Copy !req
324. And they are, there's
the Japanese grass snake,Copy !req
325. Rhabdophis tigrinus, becomes
poisonous by eating toxic toads.Copy !req
326. It stores them in glands in its
neck. If you eat that, you'll die.Copy !req
327. Or there's the Thamnophis
sirtalis... Of course!Copy !req
328. .. which is the common garter snake.
Stephen...Copy !req
329. Yeah? What are you talking about?Copy !req
330. It eats a poisonous newt, an
orange-bellied rough-skinned newt.Copy !req
331. Now, what shouldn't you eat
before bedtime?Copy !req
332. And again, once again, it's a trap!Copy !req
333. Us?Copy !req
334. Cheese!Copy !req
335. Gives you bad dreams.
Supposedly. But apparently,Copy !req
336. according to a study,
it's been debunked.Copy !req
337. In 2005. Apparently
it gives you good dreams.Copy !req
338. But the study was instituted
by the British Cheese Board!Copy !req
339. They may have an axe to grind!
Are you suggesting corruption?
Cheese Board?Copy !req
340. I think they're aware of the joke.Copy !req
341. They say there's an amino acid in
cheese as there is in milk and all
dairy products called TryptophanCopy !req
342. which gives you peace and joy and
tranquillity and helps you sleep.Copy !req
343. No, that's Temazepam! Temazepam!
But Tryptophan is a natural one.Copy !req
344. The British Cheese Board says,
"Let them eat cheese."Copy !req
345. But who said, "Let them eat cake"?Copy !req
346. That French woman - Dawn French.Copy !req
347. Very good.Copy !req
348. She said, "Let them eat brioche"!
Who did?Copy !req
349. I'm not saying it!Copy !req
350. But I'm asking you. I need to know!Copy !req
351. Ooh! Was it Mr Kipling?Copy !req
352. Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy!Copy !req
353. Marie... Osmond. Marie Osmond?
Kirsten Dunst.Copy !req
354. No. Kirsten Dunst
in that shocking film,Copy !req
355. the worst film ever made
since Revolution with Al Pacino.Copy !req
356. Did it involve cakes? Four people.
A Marie Antoinette film.Copy !req
357. Yes. So did you say what? Who said
it? What you said. Marie Antoinette.Copy !req
358. Why do you keep saying
Marie Antoinette?Copy !req
359. Because I wanted that to happen!Copy !req
360. Marie Antoinette didn't say it,
or if she did, she was quoting it.Copy !req
361. She was born in 1755,
as every schoolboy knows.Copy !req
362. The phrase was seen in print in 1760Copy !req
363. and Jean-Jacques Rousseau
claims to have seen it in 1740.Copy !req
364. So this whole idea that it was
Marie Antoinette is not true.Copy !req
365. You want to hear
the whole conversation.Copy !req
366. "They've no bread."Let them eat
cake."They haven't got cake,
either."Oh. This is a problem."Copy !req
367. Yes! "I'll talk to the ministers
about it and see what we can do."Copy !req
368. They're probably...
That may well be it.Copy !req
369. The accusation that one grand lady
or another committed this gaffeCopy !req
370. was in circulation at least 15 years
before Marie Antoinette was born.Copy !req
371. Now, what makes up more than
70% of the internet?Copy !req
372. Ooh!Copy !req
373. It's my personal collection,
isn't it?Copy !req
374. Of what? Of gentlemen's
special interest literature.Copy !req
375. I didn't say that!
I think we knowCopy !req
376. what you're talking about!
If you're gonna be like that...Copy !req
377. It's quite surprising. They did
a survey on behalf of the American
Civil Liberties UnionCopy !req
378. who were annoyed about some
legislation Bush wanted to pass,Copy !req
379. which they thought prohibitive
of personal libertyCopy !req
380. and they discovered that less than
1% of the internet is pornography.Copy !req
381. Less than 1%. Of all email traffic,Copy !req
382. 85, in fact up to 89% is spam.
Simple as that.Copy !req
383. Trying to sell you Zanex and penis
enlargement. Yes. Soft Cialis,
whatever that is.Copy !req
384. I get loads of 'em.
Most are from my girlfriend.Copy !req
385. It's the ones from my mum
that really hurt.Copy !req
386. A recent study has established that
the World Wide Web is less than
1% pornographyCopy !req
387. and 89% of all emails are spam,Copy !req
388. good news if you're looking
for pills or want to increase
your extremities.Copy !req
389. That brings us to the coffee
and liqueurs, as it were.Copy !req
390. The end of our little dinner.
L'addition, s'il vous plait, garcon.Copy !req
391. Let's look at the scores.
It's pretty unsurprising to those
who've been paying attentionCopy !req
392. that our runaway winner with a full
ten points is David Mitchell.Copy !req
393. Hoorah!Copy !req
394. Well done to David with ten and it's
medium with minus two to Rich Hall.Copy !req
395. Minus two?Copy !req
396. And it's a very rare third place
for Alan Davies with minus 12!Copy !req
397. Looking decidedly blue,
it's Jimmy Carr with minus 46!Copy !req
398. So it only remains for me
to thank my fellow diners,
Rich, Jimmy, David and AlanCopy !req
399. and to leave you with the reproving
words of our Dame Nellie MelbaCopy !req
400. on being presented with
a gelatine-based puddingCopy !req
401. which had not been allowed
to set properly.Copy !req
402. "There are two things I like stiff",
she said, "and one of them's jelly."
Goodnight!Copy !req