1. Well, hello, hello, hello, hello,
hello, hello, hello, hello.Copy !req
2. Welcome to another glamour-filled
QI night of a thousand stars.Copy !req
3. Spread-eagled on my casting couch...Copy !req
4. Josie Lawrence!Copy !req
5. The stunning Johnny Sessions!Copy !req
6. The gorgeous, pouting, Rich Hall!Copy !req
7. And Alan Davies.Copy !req
8. Well, let's see you
toy with your globes, girls.Copy !req
9. Will anyone ring my bell? Rich?Copy !req
10. Johnny?Copy !req
11. Josie?Copy !req
12. And Alan?Copy !req
13. "Well, hello. Ding-dong."Copy !req
14. Well, there we are. Fair enough.Copy !req
15. And so to question one.
What eat clothes?Copy !req
16. I don't know,
I just wanted to do that.Copy !req
17. What eats clothes?
Moths eat clothes. Moths? Yes.Copy !req
18. Oh, no, they don't.
They make holes in them,
don't they? Not moths, their larva.Copy !req
19. The little caterpillars do,
not the moths. You see?Copy !req
20. Larva!Copy !req
21. So by the time you see a moth,
it's too late.Copy !req
22. You rarely do. They're only a
quarter of an inch long, the moths.Copy !req
23. There are fewer due to synthetic
materials and dry-cleaning.Copy !req
24. Dry-cleaning's as good
as a mothball. Really?Copy !req
25. That camphor-naphthalene smell.
I've never smelt one.Copy !req
26. It's like a dead body.
If I have a mothball in each hand,
what have I got? Two mothballs.Copy !req
27. A rather excited moth.Copy !req
28. I thought you were literally
asking. It's all right!Copy !req
29. I've never smelt a dead body either.
I've never seen one.Copy !req
30. They say once you've smelt death,
it never gets out of your nostrils.Copy !req
31. I tell you something
quite interesting... Yeah.Copy !req
32. Leopards eat rotting flesh.
They don't mind it.Copy !req
33. Cheetahs will only eat fresh.Copy !req
34. Really? They eat when
they've killed, there and then,Copy !req
35. and they eat quickly, otherwise
a lion'll have it off them.Copy !req
36. A leopard'll drag something up
a tree and leave it there for days,Copy !req
37. even if it's green and maggoty.Copy !req
38. There's a new theory about
Tyrannosaurus rex being a scavenger,Copy !req
39. not attacking big,
hairy-arsed monsters,Copy !req
40. but waiting till they were dead
and rotten, and then eating them.Copy !req
41. In Jurassic Park 2, a Tyrannosaurus
rex eats a man sitting on the loo.Copy !req
42. Do you think
that's inaccurate, then?Copy !req
43. But he's an accountant.
He's an accountant!Copy !req
44. Well, there you are. Moths
don't eat clothes, their larva do.Copy !req
45. Next question. Why butterflies?Copy !req
46. That's a short question.
Isn't it! Two words!Copy !req
47. Do you mean,
"Why are they called that?"Copy !req
48. No, why do they exist?Copy !req
49. Why ARE they? Yeah.Copy !req
50. It's evil to put a food in front
of any bug, to name it a butterfly.Copy !req
51. I ate butterflies when I was a kid.
I thought they had butter in them.Copy !req
52. And honeybees. There are
two theories as to why...Copy !req
53. And a hamster.Copy !req
54. You know, you're four years old,
you don't know better.Copy !req
55. And we were poor.Copy !req
56. There are two theories as to why
they're called butterflies.Copy !req
57. One is from the Dutch
for excretes butter.Copy !req
58. There was a theory that
they shat butter, early on.Copy !req
59. The other is from the Anglo-Saxon.Copy !req
60. The most common English butterflies
when they invaded were yellow -Copy !req
61. butter-coloured.
The reason they exist -Copy !req
62. they're a late addition
to the family of creatures.Copy !req
63. When did they start?
They were around when I was a kid.Copy !req
64. For 100 million years before they
evolved, moths had been around.Copy !req
65. It's believed butterflies
were an evolution from moths.Copy !req
66. Moths have one big disadvantage.
What is it?Copy !req
67. Most obviously?
They go round in the night. Yes.Copy !req
68. They get eaten a lot.
Butterflies go round in the day.Copy !req
69. And the moths are being eaten
a lot by bats. By bats. And so...Copy !req
70. the idea was the butterfly...
That's a bat. Yes.Copy !req
71. There's a bat. It's seen a moth.
Yes. Well, not seen, but heard.Copy !req
72. It has heard a moth or sensed
a moth. Sensed a moth, exactly.Copy !req
73. The precision of their
echolocation is remarkable.Copy !req
74. Put cotton wool in their ears
and they're useless.Copy !req
75. They bounce off the wall
like Canadian softballs.Copy !req
76. In the 18th century, a scientist
put cotton wool in the ears of batsCopy !req
77. and saw that they... He posited
the idea they had this extra sense.Copy !req
78. Then it was pooh-poohed and for
150 years it wasn't reconsidered.Copy !req
79. We now know he was right.
They send out signalsCopy !req
80. that bounce back like sonar,
only much more effective.Copy !req
81. That's why they bump into you. Right.Copy !req
82. People get scared
but they'd never bump into you.Copy !req
83. David Attenborough once did a
piece to camera about bats saying,Copy !req
84. "One thing's never true.
You never get them in your hair.Copy !req
85. "They have such accuracy..."Copy !req
86. Bang!
Bats immediately flew in his hair!Copy !req
87. Can I tell you something
about David cos he is my god?Copy !req
88. They were doing a column in a paper,
Who Would You Most Like To Be Like?Copy !req
89. So I said, "David Attenborough.
I love his career, his wisdom,Copy !req
90. "I love his sense of adventure."Copy !req
91. A couple of weeks later it came outCopy !req
92. and it was Who Would You Most
Like To LOOK like?Copy !req
93. So there's a lovely pictureCopy !req
94. of me next to David and Toyah Wilcox
next to Audrey Hepburn.Copy !req
95. Aw!Copy !req
96. To go from David
to Richard Attenborough,Copy !req
97. who was directing
Ben Kingsley in Gandhi.Copy !req
98. There were possibly two million
extras during Gandhi's funeral.Copy !req
99. The first assistant, David Tomlin,
was told by Sir Dickie AttenboroughCopy !req
100. to instruct the crowd
as to how they may react.Copy !req
101. He said to David Tomlin, "I want
you to convey to them, David,Copy !req
102. "that Gandhi's died and it's
an EXTRAORDINARY event, darling.Copy !req
103. "The most extraordinary event
in the history of India, darling!Copy !req
104. "Gandhi has gone -
their god, their hero, was gone."Copy !req
105. So David Tomlin turned to the crowd
and said, "Right! Listen up!Copy !req
106. "Gandhi's dead
and you're all BEEP sad!"Copy !req
107. Excellent!Copy !req
108. Very good.Copy !req
109. I don't have an anecdote but I have
a joke. Go on! We're open to jokes.Copy !req
110. Two vampire bats in a cave, flying
around and, um... you know, they like
blood, haven't had any in a while.Copy !req
111. One goes out on a recon,
comes back covered in blood.Copy !req
112. The other bat's beside himself.
"Wow! What happened?"Copy !req
113. The bat flaps to this village.Copy !req
114. "See that village over there?" Yeah.
"See that steeple?"Copy !req
115. "I didn't."Copy !req
116. So moths devised strategies
to beat the bat and some have
evolved to hear echolocation,Copy !req
117. which humans can't hear
as it's very high.Copy !req
118. Other ones decided to live during
the day and became butterflies.Copy !req
119. Now, moths are all right at night.Copy !req
120. They like being in the dark,
living in clothes in cupboards...Copy !req
121. Yes. So what is this thing they
have about candles...? Isn't it mad?Copy !req
122. I agree with you. The light
in the porch. They're MAD for that!Copy !req
123. You're a nocturnal animal attracted
to light. Get up! Have lots of it!Copy !req
124. Another question. Compared to bats,
do owls ring any bells?Copy !req
125. Josie's ringing the bell. Yes.Copy !req
126. It's what we were talking about.
It's sonar.Copy !req
127. Absolutely right.
Why not have a point? Thank you.Copy !req
128. When they first experimented
with how bats
could see so well in the dark,Copy !req
129. they put owls and bats in a very
dark room with bells hung from ropesCopy !req
130. and if there was slightly low light,Copy !req
131. the owls could see
to avoid the ropesCopy !req
132. but if it was pitch black,
they'd fly into them
because they couldn't see them.Copy !req
133. Bats just flew
and didn't ring any bells.Copy !req
134. So that's how it was first seen
that bats could manoeuver
in the dark.Copy !req
135. So the flatter an owl's face, the
bigger a bell it's run into. Yes!Copy !req
136. That's why they're called owls.Copy !req
137. I have an Aga. Yes,
I shouldn't show off, but I do.Copy !req
138. It kept going out and I got the Aga
person to look at it...Copy !req
139. Down the shops? No!Copy !req
140. It kept... Imagine you're out
at the shops and you see your Aga.Copy !req
141. Why?Copy !req
142. You rush over and it disappears
and you keep losing it.Copy !req
143. So the Aga man
kept saying it was fineCopy !req
144. and it kept going out.
Eventually, he stayed overnight.Copy !req
145. This wasn't a come-on.Copy !req
146. Cos he would come during the day,
light it, in the morning it was out
and he couldn't work it out.Copy !req
147. What it turned out was it was an owl
who'd roost on the top of the flueCopy !req
148. cos it liked the warm air up itCopy !req
149. and it would cover over itCopy !req
150. and it would block it out.
So a safety device,
if you block the chicken...Copy !req
151. Chicken!Copy !req
152. If you block the CHIMNEY of an Aga
it goes out. That's my owl story.Copy !req
153. Wasn't worth telling.
I'm pissed, never mind.Copy !req
154. So there we are. Ringing the bells.
Next question.Copy !req
155. What is batology?Copy !req
156. Batology. There's the word.
What is it?Copy !req
157. It is NOT the study of bats.Copy !req
158. Correct. You've saved yourself
a big forfeit. Well done.Copy !req
159. There you are!Copy !req
160. Could you give us a clue or is that
not allowed? It's fruit.Copy !req
161. Batology is the study
of a particular fruit.Copy !req
162. A fruit which has two names in
English beginning with b. Banana.Copy !req
163. It's native to Britain.Copy !req
164. And you can either
call it a b... or a b...Copy !req
165. Apple... Anyone in the audience?Copy !req
166. Blackberry!
Bramble or blackberry. Blackberry!Copy !req
167. It's the study of blackberries.
Very good! You may say,Copy !req
168. it's not worth studying but there
are 1,000 different species. No!Copy !req
169. The study of bats is actually...
chiropterology.Copy !req
170. Alan, there's a plot here, mate,
in Jonathan Creek. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
171. An old lady comes in, picking
blackberries, someone's stabbedCopy !req
172. and you go, "She might be
a batologist. Just a thought."Copy !req
173. So, now, what is batophobia?Copy !req
174. A fear of blackberries.Copy !req
175. Oh, dear. I'm sorry.
You ought to be right.Copy !req
176. But surely nobody's ever had a fear
of blackberries. Exactly!Copy !req
177. So it isn't. Batophobia's a fear
of being close to tall buildings.Copy !req
178. Panic attacks, irregular heartbeat,
sweating, nausea,
and an overall feeling of dread.Copy !req
179. I've got it!Copy !req
180. Other phobias like that are
bathophobia - the fear of depth,Copy !req
181. Alan.Copy !req
182. The fear of profundity of any kind.
No.Copy !req
183. What is battology?Copy !req
184. Battology, spelt like this.Copy !req
185. The study of batteries. No.Copy !req
186. Nice thought. It is!Copy !req
187. There's no other word in English
with batt at the beginning. Battle?Copy !req
188. Battle is the other one.Copy !req
189. Battered's another one.Copy !req
190. Batten. It reminds me... Batten
down the hatches is another one.
Apart from those three.Copy !req
191. It reminds me of the story
that sugar is the only word
that begins su, and pronounced sh.Copy !req
192. And someone called out,
"Are you sure?"Copy !req
193. Battology means pointlessly
repeating the same thing over again.Copy !req
194. God! Battology means pointlessly
repeating the same thing over again.Copy !req
195. People do that, don't they? I've
got a friend who repeats himself.Copy !req
196. His name's DaveCopy !req
197. and we call him Dave-ja-vu!
Oh, good! Very good!Copy !req
198. Is Dave aware he does it?Copy !req
199. Yeah, cos people have said to him,
"You say everything twice.Copy !req
200. "That's why we call you Dave-ja-vu."Copy !req
201. "I say everything twice.
I say everything twice, like!Copy !req
202. "They call me Dave-ja-vu.
They call me Dave-ja-vu."Copy !req
203. We're moving on to births.
But first, Swedish girls.Copy !req
204. What happened to every
eight-year-old Swedish girl in 1994?Copy !req
205. Young, Rich? From what I understand,Copy !req
206. there were no eight-year-old girls
in 1994.Copy !req
207. Because, in 1986, every child
born in Sweden was a boy.Copy !req
208. Just purely by...Copy !req
209. the pure law of averages.
It's a genealogical freak!Copy !req
210. No, let me give you the answer.
They had their ninth birthday.Copy !req
211. If we believe
the official statistics,Copy !req
212. there were exactly 112,521
eight-year-old girls in SwedenCopy !req
213. on the 1st of January 1994Copy !req
214. and exactly the same number
of nine-year-olds
on the 1st of January 1995.Copy !req
215. This is unique in statistics.Copy !req
216. None died, none emigrated, the same
number survived a whole year.Copy !req
217. In Britain in 1994,Copy !req
218. there were an astonishing range
of accidents reported by the, um...Copy !req
219. Trade And Industry's Consumer
Safety Unit's Home AccidentsCopy !req
220. Surveillance System Report.
Eight people in the UK, in '94,Copy !req
221. were injured by placemats.Copy !req
222. 13 sustained cruet injuries.Copy !req
223. Five were wounded by dustpans.Copy !req
224. Eight suffered as a result
of a bread-bin accident.Copy !req
225. Five were hurt by sieves.Copy !req
226. 14 fell foul of a serving trolley.Copy !req
227. 17 were treated for injuries
caused by a draught excluder.Copy !req
228. 476 people
were injured while on the lavatory.Copy !req
229. There you are.
Underwear hurt 11 people.Copy !req
230. How many of those people were drunk?Copy !req
231. Well, exactly.
That's a very good point.Copy !req
232. Or were sexually experimentative,
as it were?Copy !req
233. A good few. "Doctor, I was just
sitting in the nude and this cruet
happened to get stuck and..."Copy !req
234. That's why in the hospital
they use acronyms for, you know,Copy !req
235. like GOMER - get out
of my emergency room. Really?Copy !req
236. Or SARA - sexual activity related
accident - SARA.Copy !req
237. There's an acronym they have
in my part of the world,Copy !req
238. which doctors put on patient notes.
NFN - Normal For Norfolk!Copy !req
239. On the positive side, in 1994,
tea-cosy damage
was down from three in '93 to nil.Copy !req
240. So we cleared up the menace
of tea-cosy damage.Copy !req
241. Who knows? Who knows? People don't
use them often, do they? No.Copy !req
242. Because they're so dangerous!
Lethal. Lethal!Copy !req
243. Now, what was the biggest
tourist attraction in Canada
between 1934 and 1943?Copy !req
244. Ah! Beaten to the buzzer
by Leslie Davies!Copy !req
245. Niagara Falls. Oh, dear!Copy !req
246. Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear! Oh!Copy !req
247. No, no. No, no.Copy !req
248. Canada's a relatively young country
and I'm not sure how much there was.Copy !req
249. Was it finished by the '30s?Copy !req
250. As it were, I think, more or less.Copy !req
251. Alberta's only about 80 years old.Copy !req
252. I know! I know it!Copy !req
253. Yes? It's a really sad story,
actually. Yes.Copy !req
254. Didn't they have... sextuplets
or octuplets? Quints, in fact.Copy !req
255. Quintuplets. Quintuplets. Right.
Everyone came to see them.Copy !req
256. There they are. They were taken
from their parents and lived in a
house over the road. Exactly right.Copy !req
257. The Dionnes, they were known as.Copy !req
258. They were five girls born from a
single egg to a rather poor family.Copy !req
259. The father started talking about
exhibiting them. They were famous.
Before fertility treatment,Copy !req
260. it was rarer to have these births.Copy !req
261. So the government took over
and put them in a hospitalCopy !req
262. and slowly the hospital started to
admit people and became the single
biggest attraction in Canada.Copy !req
263. After nine years the parents
got their girls back.Copy !req
264. But, at the age of 18, they left.Copy !req
265. Two are still alive and in '98
Mike Harris, the Prime Minister,Copy !req
266. travelled to apologise to the two
remaining ones and gave them
$4 million as compensation.Copy !req
267. $4 million Canadian!
Canadian dollars! Yes!Copy !req
268. Your US dollars
aren't worth singing about.Copy !req
269. Throw 'em a bone!Copy !req
270. Alan, question for you.
Name all the eventsCopy !req
271. at the first recorded Olympic Games
in 776 BC.Copy !req
272. Discus.Copy !req
273. Javelin.Copy !req
274. No, no. Try harder. Hammer?Copy !req
275. Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear!Copy !req
276. No, no. I think that way
madness lies. Running.Copy !req
277. Running is the answer. One race.Copy !req
278. Just one race.Copy !req
279. If you get the distance,
I'll be astonished! 200 metres.Copy !req
280. Damn close!Copy !req
281. It's very unfair. I think
you've taken enough forfeitsCopy !req
282. because there was just one event
and it was 192 metres...Copy !req
283. which is the modern equivalent
of the length of a stadium.Copy !req
284. That was the only race in the first
Olympic Games. That was the Games?Copy !req
285. The first recorded one.
They later developed
to include discus and javelinCopy !req
286. and all the things
you mentioned.Copy !req
287. The first recorded one was just...Copy !req
288. When's the first recorded one?Copy !req
289. Now, um... the next question
is a subsidiary to this one. What
was the naked chef doing there?Copy !req
290. Yes. Is that a response
to the buttocks or...?Copy !req
291. Yeah. A fine pair. Phwoar!Copy !req
292. Naked cooking for the athletes. No.Copy !req
293. Not quite.Copy !req
294. Preparing meals for the judges?Copy !req
295. Selling food to the audience?
Won the race?Copy !req
296. Yes! Quite right!Copy !req
297. The winner was a cook.Copy !req
298. His name was Coroebus of Elis
and he was a cook. And,
like all contestants, was naked.Copy !req
299. They ran in the nude.
All in the nude. How wonderful!Copy !req
300. Even the trainers!Copy !req
301. I'd like to have seen
the triple jump!Copy !req
302. What about the pole vault?
Oh, don't! He, um...Copy !req
303. Coroebus won by a short head!Copy !req
304. No! After his final spurt!
NO! Shut up!Copy !req
305. Now, why is a marathon
26 miles and 385 yards long?Copy !req
306. I feel a trap coming.Copy !req
307. There's an utterly preposterous
mythCopy !req
308. that it is the distance run
from the Battle of Marathon...Copy !req
309. back to Athens.Copy !req
310. The myth is that it was a man
called Phidippides,Copy !req
311. who actually conducted the run...
to convey news of the battle. Yes.Copy !req
312. In fact, it was the Battle
Of Snickers, not Marathon. Yes.Copy !req
313. No, that's right.
There is a fairly well-known storyCopy !req
314. that a man called Phidippides
ran from Marathon, where there'd
been a battle with the Persians.Copy !req
315. According to Herodotus he was born
six years after the battle.
In his account,Copy !req
316. Phidippides ran
from Marathon to Sparta,Copy !req
317. which is about 145 miles. No way!Copy !req
318. Yeah. 145 miles? Yeah.Copy !req
319. And then he ran back cos
the Spartans were having a holy day.Copy !req
320. He died.
He didn't, according to Herodotus.Copy !req
321. There's no record of him dying.Copy !req
322. It was 500 years later, in Plutarch
and others, that this myth grew up.Copy !req
323. But the reason why the marathon
is 26 miles 385 yards
is the British Royal Family.Copy !req
324. Is it the distance from,
um... Windsor to St James?Copy !req
325. Not Windsor to St James
but the right lines. In 1908,Copy !req
326. the Olympic Games were in London
and the marathon started
outside Windsor CastleCopy !req
327. and half the Royal Family sat there
going, "Well done. What fun."Copy !req
328. And the finish was at
the newly-built White City StadiumCopy !req
329. and it was exactly
26 miles 385 yards.Copy !req
330. For every race afterwards
that was the length.Copy !req
331. Now we pay our visit to the exam
hall where candidates writeCopy !req
332. with the wrong end of the pencil.
The School Of General Ignorance.Copy !req
333. Fingers on buzzers,
turn your papers, and let's begin.Copy !req
334. Where were the first
modern Olympics held?Copy !req
335. Still on Olympics. Yes?Copy !req
336. 1896 was the first yearCopy !req
337. and I believe it was Athens.Copy !req
338. No. It's not correct. No?Copy !req
339. Was it in Greece though?
No, not in Greece.Copy !req
340. I'm sorry about that.Copy !req
341. London? No, right country. Damn!Copy !req
342. If you got it, I'd be surprised.
If I said "AE Housman" you might.Copy !req
343. Salisbury? No. Shropshire.Copy !req
344. Shropshire is right. Much Wenlock,
as in on Wenlock Edge.Copy !req
345. The town of Much Wenlock,
from 1850, held Olympic Games.Copy !req
346. A man called Dr WP Brookes.Copy !req
347. 1896 was the first Olympics.
So people suggest.Copy !req
348. Baron de Coubertin, who was the
supposed founder of the modern
Olympic movement, wrote of Brookes,Copy !req
349. "Much Wenlock is a town in
Shropshire, on the border of Wales,Copy !req
350. "and if the modern games Greece
has not been able to revive..."Copy !req
351. He wrote this in 1890. ".. still
survive today it is due not
to a Greek but to WP Brookes.Copy !req
352. "It is he who inaugurated them
40 years ago.Copy !req
353. "It is he, now 82 years of age...
who continues to organise
and inspire them."Copy !req
354. So Coubertin came to Wenlock EdgeCopy !req
355. and being a Baron, having influence
and connections, was able to doCopy !req
356. what Brookes was not able to do,
get the rest of the world.Copy !req
357. But King George I of GreeceCopy !req
358. sent a silver medal to be a prize
at the Wenlock Olympics.Copy !req
359. So, for 46 years before the first
Athens Olympiad as it's counted,Copy !req
360. there were Olympics recognised by
the man who fathered the movement.Copy !req
361. Let's hear it for WP Brookes.Copy !req
362. But he died just a year before
the Athens Olympics. 2012, Hackney!Copy !req
363. Could be, couldn't it?Copy !req
364. - I live in Hackney.
- Shit hole!Copy !req
365. Kayaking down the Lea River.
You can develop film in the Lea River
but you can't kayak.Copy !req
366. Now, here's a question.Copy !req
367. Why was King Charles XIV of Sweden
ashamed of his tattoo?Copy !req
368. It's Dudley Moore, isn't it?Copy !req
369. Charles XIV of Sweden?Copy !req
370. Bernadotte, one of Napoleon's
generals, went to become
king of Sweden. He did.Copy !req
371. And the tattoo... Charles XIV,
was that Bernadotte?Copy !req
372. It was. And he had a tattoo.
"I love Napoleon" on his arse. No!Copy !req
373. No? He wasn't appointed by Napoleon.Copy !req
374. He was appointed by Charles XIII.
Napoleon thought it a joke.
Bernadotte had been a JacobinCopy !req
375. and had a tattoo "Death to kings"
as a young man.Copy !req
376. Then he was adopted by the old king
of Sweden, became Charles XIV,Copy !req
377. and was incredibly successfulCopy !req
378. and completely backed away
from France, had an alliance
with England and Russia. Yes.Copy !req
379. He invaded Norway and became
king of Norway and the Bernadottes
still rule Sweden.Copy !req
380. Still the kings, this revolutionary.Copy !req
381. Very confusing cos Napoleon
had Irish generals,
he had a Scottish general. Yes.Copy !req
382. Because you came from somewhere, you
might not fight for them. Indeed.Copy !req
383. Here's a question.
Which Scandinavian king might
you have in your mobile phone?Copy !req
384. Gustavus Adolphus?Copy !req
385. No. King Nokia!Copy !req
386. No.Copy !req
387. Though... King Ericsson!
No, you're... King...Copy !req
388. Motorola!Copy !req
389. In it, not a make of. King Sim! No.Copy !req
390. There was a King HaraldCopy !req
391. who had a nickname. Bluetooth!
Thank you! Bluetooth is the answer!Copy !req
392. Harald Bluetooth. I hurt my neck
I was so excited.Copy !req
393. He united Finland, Sweden and
Norway and when Ericsson and NokiaCopy !req
394. were thinking of a unified approachCopy !req
395. to wireless connection
between mobile phones,Copy !req
396. they called it Bluetooth
in his honour. Oh, really?Copy !req
397. Cos of him? Actually named
after him? Yes. Last question.Copy !req
398. What do St Bernards carry
in barrels around their necks?Copy !req
399. Brandy.Copy !req
400. No, never have. Armagnac!Copy !req
401. It's a myth.Copy !req
402. Armagnac is a brandy, in fact.Copy !req
403. They never use casks in rescue work.Copy !req
404. Brandy would kill someone with
hypothermia. Yes. It's for tourists.Copy !req
405. It's cos of a painting in 1831.
That's not it, incidentally!Copy !req
406. It's a very good likeness.
It's tourism.Copy !req
407. The dog painted in 1831 was called
Barry and had rescued 40 people,Copy !req
408. something of a hero.Copy !req
409. Unfortunately, he was killed by
the 41st who thought he was a wolf.Copy !req
410. Oh, that's terrible!Copy !req
411. In his honour, the handsomest...Copy !req
412. the handsomest St Bernard...Copy !req
413. That's horrible! is always called
Barry at the St Bernard Hospice.Copy !req
414. So why was Barry painted
with a barrel?Copy !req
415. Occasionally they'd carry milk
but certainly not brandy.Copy !req
416. Was St Bernard a patron saint
of skiers who need some brandy?Copy !req
417. Well, it's a pass, isn't it?Copy !req
418. It's a pass between
Italy and Switzerland.Copy !req
419. I tell you what is a really good
patron saint, and it works,Copy !req
420. St Anthony,
the patron saint of lost things.Copy !req
421. If you lose something, say, "Please,
St Anthony, help me find this."Copy !req
422. In about half an hour to an hour
you'll find... Ahem!Copy !req
423. Um... Stephen!Copy !req
424. No, I'm sorry. No!Copy !req
425. Something tells me
it is so much arse!Copy !req
426. Anyway! That's it. Time for the
bittersweet business of the scores.Copy !req
427. I will have to go, I fear,
in order of first to last.Copy !req
428. Um... and tied in first place
are Josie and RichCopy !req
429. with four points! How about that?Copy !req
430. In third place,
despite some magnificent knowledge,Copy !req
431. he did plunge into our traps a few
times, with -14, John Sessions!Copy !req
432. But, um...Copy !req
433. But limping somewhat
a few laps behind,Copy !req
434. with, I think,
a record-breaking -72,Copy !req
435. is Alan Davies. Thank you.Copy !req
436. That's all from Rich, John,
Josie, Alan and myself.Copy !req
437. I leave you with this
quite interesting thought...Copy !req
438. Good night.Copy !req