1. Well, hello, hello, hello, hello!Copy !req
2. Welcome to QI,Copy !req
3. the show that knows what's what
like I know the back of my onions.Copy !req
4. So, let's meet tonight's
men amongst men. We have...Copy !req
5. ..Rich Hall, Arthur Smith,Copy !req
6. Dara O'Briain and Alan Davies.Copy !req
7. Welcome one and all. Let's hear your
manly sounds, gentlemen. Rich...Copy !req
8. And Arthur...Copy !req
9. And Dara...Copy !req
10. And Alan.Copy !req
11. So, let's begin with question one.
And that's for Rich.Copy !req
12. What would you say if I said to you
that the British Empire
was built on diarrhoea?Copy !req
13. I'd say you were full of shit!Copy !req
14. Any word that ends in .. rrhoea
is just bad news, isn't it?Copy !req
15. Diarrhoea...
pyorrhoea... gonorrhoea.Copy !req
16. North Korea.Copy !req
17. Chris Rea? Yeah!Copy !req
18. Speaking, obviously, as someone
whose antecedents were members
of the British Empire themselves,Copy !req
19. happily, of course, diarrhoea was
very much the least of our problemsCopy !req
20. when
the English were in the country.Copy !req
21. We'd have been glad
of a bit of diarrhoea!Copy !req
22. There are few recorded conversations
between Irish peasants in the 1840sCopy !req
23. that went, "Paddy,
you're looking thin."I know,
the food's running through me!Copy !req
24. "This spicy British food
doesn't appeal to me at all!"Copy !req
25. Well, absolutely. Of course,
the question is oddly framed,Copy !req
26. because the British Empire
came aboutCopy !req
27. because Britain
was the first imperial power
to overcome diarrhoea.Copy !req
28. Up until the 18th century, almost
every invading army, anywhere,Copy !req
29. was laid low by diarrhoea,
particularly the French.Copy !req
30. They kept having excrement so close
to their food, if not ON it!Copy !req
31. It was not understood that this was
a bad idea. It's NOT a bad idea!Copy !req
32. Isn't it? No, no, no!Copy !req
33. I think you'll find, more faeces
with your food improves your health.Copy !req
34. I've overstated it a touch!
I think you might have done.Copy !req
35. But I think it's generally agreed
that children don't eat enough, er,Copy !req
36. you know, bad things, in a way.Copy !req
37. Everything's sanitised, and their
bodies aren't used to it when
they have to fight off infections.Copy !req
38. Absolutely. If everyone lives in
a plastic bubble and it's removed,
they die of something very fast.Copy !req
39. Particularly if the bubble
is under water, for example!Copy !req
40. Exactly! A very sudden pressure
change you just can't deal with!Copy !req
41. So an army marching on its stomach -Copy !req
42. it's more the army tends to march
on the contents of the preceding
soldiers' stomachs! Absolutely.Copy !req
43. There were two eminent British
figures - Pringle for the army,
and Lind for the navy...Copy !req
44. Presumably Pringle
had a small moustache!Copy !req
45. Latrines! We invented latrines.Copy !req
46. Well, yes. But it's a French word!Copy !req
47. Latrine must have been French
for kitchen! You're almost right!Copy !req
48. The French did extraordinary things.Copy !req
49. Instead of burying bodies at sea,
they buried them in the ship,Copy !req
50. in the bilge part at the bottom
of the ship. Brilliant idea!Copy !req
51. Imagine the stench! I remember
reading... Probably awful.Copy !req
52. .. on the approach to Moscow, that
the French soldiers used to sleep
inside the dead bodies of horses.Copy !req
53. Go on! Obviously it's warm, but
that's not a comfortable night!Copy !req
54. Even Travelodge is better
than that!Copy !req
55. Yes. For the wrong reasons, Lind and
Pringle thought the right thing.Copy !req
56. They believed that
disease was all about smell, and if
something smelt bad, you'd be ill.Copy !req
57. We had a maths teacher at school
who smelt!Copy !req
58. Pringle laid out the army rules on
how far faeces should be from food.Copy !req
59. As a result,
we had far less diarrhoeaCopy !req
60. than any other army
around the world.Copy !req
61. Also he said the navy should eat
lemons, because of scurvy - vitamins
weren't known about till 1912.Copy !req
62. But because every country
that grew lemons hated Britain,Copy !req
63. the only country we could get
anything close to it was in the
Caribbean, where there were limes -Copy !req
64. which are half as effective - hence
the British were called limeys,
when we should have been lemoneys!Copy !req
65. The navy did realise
lemons were twice as effective.Copy !req
66. Vitamin C tablets are effective!Copy !req
67. Multivits! If you'd gone to Boots,Copy !req
68. really, at the start of the trip...Copy !req
69. They say that the wheel
is the greatest invention ever,Copy !req
70. but I think it's probably
the second wheel.Copy !req
71. Have you ever seen a guy
on a unicycle? What an asshole!Copy !req
72. In the Battle of El Alamein,
there's a strong historical argumentCopy !req
73. that it was won because more than
50% of the German army in North
Africa at the time had diarrhoea.Copy !req
74. Rommel was in hospital on the first
day of the battle, with the squits.Copy !req
75. My father was at El Alamein,
and he was the only soldier,Copy !req
76. according to him,
who didn't have the runs,Copy !req
77. and he was actually constipated!Copy !req
78. That was what he said. Just bloody
minded! One of the great lines -Copy !req
79. "I had to dig it out with a stick!"Copy !req
80. And it is to such great men that
we owe our freedom. Absolutely.Copy !req
81. You've really put me off
going to war now.Copy !req
82. I was all right with the killing
and the mayhem, but the shit... oh!Copy !req
83. You don't see it in war films, and
yet it is something that drives
humans everywhere... You know,Copy !req
84. I feel, in many ways, we've done
diarrhoea. I think we have.Copy !req
85. We're ready to move on
to a question for Dara.Copy !req
86. What begins with B...? I thought
we were done with diarrhoea?Copy !req
87. It's nearly an anagram
of your name, isn't it?Copy !req
88. It's quite possibly an anagram...
Diarrhoea. No, it's not!Copy !req
89. It's not!
There's four letters in my name!Copy !req
90. It's an anagram
of the great drama school RADA!Copy !req
91. In the rest of it there's an O,
isn't there? There is an O, yes.
There's a B, there's an N.Copy !req
92. It's as if my name is roughly
NB diarrhoea! Dara...Copy !req
93. Da-ra! Da-ra!Copy !req
94. So, Dara, what begins with a B
and is illegal in Turkmenistan?Copy !req
95. Begins with B,
illegal in Turkmenistan?Copy !req
96. Begins with a B, yes. Well,
presumably a plague of bees...Copy !req
97. It begins with one B!Copy !req
98. There's a town in Turkmenistan
called Mary. An odd name for a town.Copy !req
99. Is there a Mary there? Oh, yes!
There's also
a large region called Mary.Copy !req
100. Mary, Mary - and there's
a town called Quite Contrary!Copy !req
101. Buggery? Is it buggery? It's not,
though as far as I know
buggery may be illegal...Copy !req
102. Bestiality? No, it's something
weird. Bear-baiting? Ballet?Copy !req
103. Ballet is the right answer. Is it?
Ballet is illegal. It was part of
the Soviet Union... Arrest that man!Copy !req
104. There is a very odd man indeed,
called Saparmyrat Niyazov,Copy !req
105. who is the head of this country,
Turkmenistan... Is he from Mary?Copy !req
106. No, he's not. He's from Ashgabat,
which is the capital. Ashgabat!Copy !req
107. And he is one of the oddest world
leaders... You, ballerina! Exactly!Copy !req
108. No!Copy !req
109. Not only that,
he's named January after himself.Copy !req
110. His face appears on millions of
yoghurt pots. If you buy a yoghurt
there, his face will be on it.Copy !req
111. What's the point of that? Exactly.
Power has gone to his head.Copy !req
112. He looks
as if his face would curdle milk!Copy !req
113. Is it on the inside
of the yoghurt pot, his face?Copy !req
114. What happens if you are caught
performing ballet? You're arrested?Copy !req
115. Presumably. Even for a small plie?Copy !req
116. Are there signs with tutus and big
crosses through them? "No ballet!"Copy !req
117. There must be some kind of
underground ballet-dancing clubs.Copy !req
118. Ballet Club, with Brad Pitt!Copy !req
119. He also fired 15,000 nurses
in Turkmenistan, Niyazov,Copy !req
120. and replaced them with army
conscripts. Sounds like a place
where Bush needs to kick more ass!Copy !req
121. Now it's time for a question for
Arthur. What's quite interesting
about digestive biscuits?Copy !req
122. Well, it's a hard-working biscuit,
the digestive.Copy !req
123. You can put cheese on it, chocolate
on it, it's a base for cheesecake.Copy !req
124. It really is
a sort of Renaissance biscuit.Copy !req
125. It's a great dunker. It's
a very, very hard-working biscuit.Copy !req
126. But have you ever noticed
there is a slightly fishy taste
about a digestive?Copy !req
127. Is there?
What have you been dunking them in?Copy !req
128. Good heavens!Copy !req
129. Shouldn't be dunking them in that!Copy !req
130. Good Lord!Copy !req
131. We're in the world of misnomers -
things that are wrongly called.Copy !req
132. Do they give you wind?
They were called digestiveCopy !req
133. because they were supposed to be an
anti-flatulent biscuit when they
were designed in the 19th century.Copy !req
134. "You'd better have one of these!"Copy !req
135. Maybe you stuffed it up,
I don't know!Copy !req
136. I'd like to see an advert
for this flatulence biscuit!Copy !req
137. Pwhhh! "Hey, try a digestive!"Copy !req
138. We're heading right back down
the diarrhoea highway.Copy !req
139. Welcome to the United Kingdom!Copy !req
140. The fact is,
they are not aids to digestion.Copy !req
141. In America it is illegal
to call them digestives.Copy !req
142. Of course, in America - do you know
what we're talking about? Cookies!
Yeah. Which is from the Dutch -Copy !req
143. koekje, meaning biscuit, which is
why you call them cookies. Right.Copy !req
144. What you call a biscuit is more
like what we'd call... a scone thing.Copy !req
145. Biscuits in gravy - explain to the
ladies and gentlemen what that is.Copy !req
146. O, traveller from an arcane land!Copy !req
147. Yes!Copy !req
148. What do your pe-eople... eat?Copy !req
149. Everything!Copy !req
150. Biscuits made from self-raising
flour and they slop gravy over itCopy !req
151. and it takes up room on the plate.
Right. A breakfasty thing,
or a lunchy thing, or...?Copy !req
152. Depends what trailer park you live
in! Sometimes it's three meals a day.
Fair enough.Copy !req
153. Well, 450 digestive biscuits
are baked every second in the UK!Copy !req
154. Really? Yes. They are truly
the mule of biscuits!Copy !req
155. Which brings me on to a question for
you - what is the difference between
a cake and a biscuit? Easy! Tell.Copy !req
156. Well, a cake is soft
and a biscuit's hard!Copy !req
157. Cakes are soft and squidgy and
spongy, and biscuits you can snap.Copy !req
158. What's a Jaffa cake, then? Very
interesting you should say that.Copy !req
159. No, QUITE interesting! Exactly!Copy !req
160. Exactly! Let's stick to our brief!Copy !req
161. A Jaffa cake is the exception
that proves the rule.Copy !req
162. Well, no, it isn't an exception.Copy !req
163. What happens on this show, Dara,
is he thinks I'm an idiot!Copy !req
164. Well, YOU think my name is an
anagram of diarrhoea, so... Yes!Copy !req
165. I'm really on their side
at the moment.Copy !req
166. Well, actually, I think you used
the right words. Technically,Copy !req
167. the difference is that when
they go stale, a cake goes hard
and a biscuit goes soft.Copy !req
168. In 1991, the British government -Copy !req
169. Customs and Excise - decided they
wanted to reclassify the Jaffa cake
as a biscuit.Copy !req
170. The weird thing is, there is zero
VAT on cake and biscuit,Copy !req
171. but there is VAT on chocolate
biscuits as a luxury item.Copy !req
172. So McVitie's had to try and prove
that Jaffa cakes are not
chocolate biscuits, they are cakes.Copy !req
173. They did so by demonstrating,
in front of the VAT review board,Copy !req
174. that they went hard when they were
stale. And they also cooked a big
12-inch one to show it was a cake.Copy !req
175. I always think King Alfred -
you know, he was a great man...
Is that a cock ring?Copy !req
176. It was a really early one...
Made of stone!Copy !req
177. They all had big knobs then! Ooh!Copy !req
178. But King Alfred,Copy !req
179. who I believe was...Copy !req
180. invented...Copy !req
181. I'm determined to carry on. Good!
With a big stone cock ring image!Copy !req
182. He invented the navy, he made all
sorts of differences - he was
an important political figure,Copy !req
183. but all we remember him for
is some business involving cakes.Copy !req
184. Yeah. You, for example, Stephen,
may yet be remembered for something
pathetically insignificant.Copy !req
185. Absolutely. I once dropped
a pack of Abbey Crunch.Copy !req
186. So posh! You really are...
They're not posh! They are!Copy !req
187. Posh biscuits are ones that are
cooked for you by your pastry chef!Copy !req
188. Actually, there's a true story, I
think about the Duke of Devonshire.Copy !req
189. In the Second World War, they would
have people from the Ministry
of Labour checking on everybody,Copy !req
190. particularly on the big estates,
to see if all these people,Copy !req
191. if some could be released for war
work, and they went to Chatsworth,
the Duke of Devonshire's estate.Copy !req
192. Stopwatch and clipboard,
and then they interviewed the duke,Copy !req
193. and said, "Your grace, we understand
that you need 47 gardeners and 13
under-gardeners, grooms, chauffeurs,Copy !req
194. "upstairs maids and downstairs maids
and laundry maids, kitchen maids,
nursemaids, house and parlour maids,Copy !req
195. "and we can understand that you need
the boy to scrape the boots and
the butler and the four footmen,Copy !req
196. "but we wonder if an economy
might be made. Does your grace
necessarily need two pastry cooks?"Copy !req
197. To which he apparently replied,
"Oh, damn it!
Can't a man have a biscuit?"Copy !req
198. Which is, you know... We're
all prepared to make sacrificesCopy !req
199. to beat the Hun, but I mean,
really! That's going a bit far!Copy !req
200. Peter Ustinov had
rather a good story about this.Copy !req
201. He was at a school that was so posh
that on school sports day,
they had a chauffeurs' race!Copy !req
202. Of course, we call posh cake
"gateau", don't we?Copy !req
203. And the French call posh cake
"le cake"! Yes! They do.Copy !req
204. Do you know what biscuit means,
what its derivation is?Copy !req
205. "Bis" meaning...? Sweet? Er... bite.
Sweet... hard... coffee cup...? Twice.Copy !req
206. Sweet hard coffee cup? Sweet
hard coffee cup accompaniment!Copy !req
207. Twice cooked. Biscotti in Italian.
Oh, biscotti?Copy !req
208. That's a biscuit? They're horrible -
like bits of shrapnel. Yes.Copy !req
209. But it's fun to do that game with
the wrapper, it flies up in the air.Copy !req
210. Here's a quite interesting fact.
Yes?Copy !req
211. As we know, at the end
of a marvellous live performance,Copy !req
212. if you think it's fabulous,
you shout "Encore!" But do you know
what the French shout?Copy !req
213. Bis? Oh, you DO know.Copy !req
214. Sorry!Copy !req
215. Yes. It means twice.Copy !req
216. So they're asking
to see the whole damn thing again?Copy !req
217. On from biscuits. Fingers
on buzzers for our next question.Copy !req
218. Who invented straight roads?Copy !req
219. Alan? The Romans.Copy !req
220. Oh, dear, oh, dear. I'm afraid not.Copy !req
221. I knew that was gonna happen. Did
you? I'll have you know they did!Copy !req
222. No, they didn't!Copy !req
223. They did! They rebuilt
a lot of straight roads
that were already there.Copy !req
224. The Romans would make a road
that would go 50 or 100 miles.Copy !req
225. Stane Street, that goes
from Chichester to London,
is 60 or 70 miles long.Copy !req
226. No-one thought to go that far
in a straight line till they did.Copy !req
227. In terms of distance, you may be
right - they built the longest...Copy !req
228. People would come across them and go,
"Blimey, this must be a Roman road!"
They invented going far on them.Copy !req
229. Which wasn't the question, sadly.Copy !req
230. Oh, would that it had been!Copy !req
231. But the Romans, presumably, in
the end, never really got anywhere,Copy !req
232. because all roads lead to Rome!
Indeed!Copy !req
233. Ha-ha-ha!Copy !req
234. There was a dense network of roads
in the pre-Roman Iron Age -Copy !req
235. straight roads - but you're right,
they weren't as vast.Copy !req
236. Do you know that in America some
of the roads in the mid-West are
so straight and go on for so long,Copy !req
237. they have to make a right turn
and then go on again. Really?
Because people go loopy?Copy !req
238. No - to account for the curvature of
the Earth, so it conforms to the map.Copy !req
239. Good God! That's fantastic.
Well, there you are.Copy !req
240. And do you know that in Montana,
a policeman will pull you over
because he's lonely?Copy !req
241. It happens to me all the time.Copy !req
242. Why do the Americans drive
on the right?Copy !req
243. Well, I guess because
we invented the... BEEP! car!Copy !req
244. I'm awfully sorry to put you right
on that, but you didn't even
come close to inventing the car!Copy !req
245. We invented the first... At least two
Germans got there way before you!Copy !req
246. Another proof, of course,
is that in Ireland there were
many, many straight roads,Copy !req
247. and the Irish were never invaded
by the Romans, were you?
No, they never got as far as us,Copy !req
248. which we actually do regret to this
day, because we have no great
architecture dating back to then...Copy !req
249. You've got cromlechs. Well, we have
our own little mounds and stuffCopy !req
250. that I had to drag my sorry arse
around on school trips!Copy !req
251. "Boys, we're off to see a mound!"Copy !req
252. Yes, and our imagination ran riot.
It was never what we expected.Copy !req
253. Do you know why the grass is
greener in Ireland than over here?Copy !req
254. Because of limestone? No, because
you're all here, walking on ours!Copy !req
255. Which brings us neatly to the point
where fools rush inCopy !req
256. and Alans fear to tread,Copy !req
257. which is our general ignorance
round. Fingers on buzzers.Copy !req
258. What is the collective noun
for a group of baboons?Copy !req
259. A pentagon.Copy !req
260. Fantastic!Copy !req
261. American politics has a lot to do
with it. Not only is the Pentagon
an organ of American power,Copy !req
262. so is the House. Capitol Hill... the
White House... The House is known
as... The House of Representatives?Copy !req
263. It's Congress.
A congress of baboons. Yes.Copy !req
264. A congress of baboons! Very good!Copy !req
265. But there is a quite interesting
fact about a new word that is
beginning to replace congress,Copy !req
266. and it has an odd history - it comes
from a comedy sketch on BBC TV,
in Not The Nine O'Clock News.Copy !req
267. There was a sketch called Gerald
the Gorilla, which Rowan Atkinson
played. Oh, yeah - wild.Copy !req
268. Yes. Wilder was furious because
of the production on that album!Copy !req
269. But there's a point
where he talks about a group,Copy !req
270. or flange, as we call them,
of gorillas, and this was made upCopy !req
271. by Richard Curtis or whoever wrote
that particular sketch.Copy !req
272. It's now on the net! I quote from
a book called Sex And Friendship
In Baboons by Barbara B Smuts.Copy !req
273. This is a review...
It's in every book in the world!Copy !req
274. This is a review in Amazon.com,
and it's a serious academic study.Copy !req
275. It says, "In this marvellous book,
Smuts draws from years
of painstaking field research,Copy !req
276. "in which she followed a flange
of chacma baboons in the Mateti
Game Reserve in Zimbabwe."Copy !req
277. And a word has migrated from a
comedy sketch into the internet and
is now being used by academics!Copy !req
278. On the subject of animals,
who can tell me which mammals have
the most bones in their noses?Copy !req
279. Crocodiles. It isn't crocodiles,
as it happens.Copy !req
280. I was gonna say elephants, but...Copy !req
281. Thank you! Bless you. Anteaters.Copy !req
282. I do like to please the researcher.
Did you say anteaters? Yes.Copy !req
283. Well, the answer is AN anteater -
a particular kind, probably
the most famous kind of anteater.Copy !req
284. Aardvark.
Aardvark is the right answer.Copy !req
285. It has nine or ten.Copy !req
286. You know, I can say in Danish, "I
have spilt coffee on the anteater."Copy !req
287. I would like you to do that
for us now.Copy !req
288. Jeg har spilt kaffe paa myresloger.Copy !req
289. Yes, um...Copy !req
290. elephants have no bones
in their noses whatsoever!Copy !req
291. so our next question is, according
to the inventor of centigrade,Copy !req
292. what's the boiling point of water?Copy !req
293. Oh, dear, I'm going to say
something stupid. 100 degrees.Copy !req
294. Oh, dear!Copy !req
295. It's obvious, isn't it,
and you'd think
it's a reasonable thing to say.Copy !req
296. The inventor of centigrade was
a man called Anders... Celsius.
Quite right. 1701-1744 he lived.Copy !req
297. A short but fruitful life. He spent
all that time going, "Oh, that's hot!Copy !req
298. "That's cold, that's hot..."
That's quite chilly.Copy !req
299. "I shall call that one!"Copy !req
300. He decided that water
should boil at zero degrees
and ice would melt at a hundred.Copy !req
301. Nought is actually now - it's the
other way round - nought is not
the point at which water freezes,Copy !req
302. it's the point at which ice melts.
Zero is actually more than that.Copy !req
303. I'm giving a scientific fact because
I don't wish to be associated with
diarrhoea for the rest of the show.Copy !req
304. Zero is the triple point of water -
it's in all three states - you can
have water vapour at zero, too.Copy !req
305. Very good. You must have some points
for that, and a round of applause.Copy !req
306. I had a private moment there when I
remembered being told that in school
at 16, and went,Copy !req
307. "When the BLEEP
am I ever gonna use that?"Copy !req
308. Away! It happened!Copy !req
309. Which is colder? Minus 40 centigrade
or minus 40 fahrenheit?Copy !req
310. Minus 40 centigrade.Copy !req
311. No, they're both exactly the same.Copy !req
312. So which came first -
Celsius or Fahrenheit? Fahrenheit.Copy !req
313. The interesting thing about
the British is what we do is
we use centigrade when it's cold,Copy !req
314. and we use Fahrenheit when it's hot.
When it's hot,
it's in the 90s... 92...Copy !req
315. But when it's really cold, we go,
"It's minus three!"Copy !req
316. We don't say, "It's 28."
We are very consistent, aren't we?Copy !req
317. Well, from that to...
What did Mussolini do?Copy !req
318. Made the trains run on time.Copy !req
319. No, he didn't.
You could argue he made
one particular train run on time.Copy !req
320. In 1922, there was
a general strike in Italy,Copy !req
321. much to the annoyance of many
Italian people, and certainly to
the annoyance of the king, Umberto.Copy !req
322. The fascists, led by Mussolini, were
gathered in Naples and Mussolini
made this ferocious speech, saying,Copy !req
323. "We shall march on Rome and we shall
sort this out and we shall seize
power and we shall end the strike."Copy !req
324. It became "Roma! Roma! Roma!"
that was shouted
and the famous march on Rome began.Copy !req
325. And Mussolini himself went to Milan.
He didn't go on the march cos he was
rather scared, quaking in his boots.Copy !req
326. It turned out to be a great success
and the king offered him powerCopy !req
327. and said, "Get on the train from
Milan to Rome and I will offer you
the prime ministership."Copy !req
328. So he rang up the station master
at Milan and said,
"This train has to run on time."Copy !req
329. It was the one train he definitely
made run on time, but all the other
improvements in Italian transportCopy !req
330. were made before he came to power.
Garibaldi's a type of biscuit. And
it cracks. That's the difference.Copy !req
331. You can't crack a cake.Copy !req
332. Good!Copy !req
333. That's Mussolini for you.Copy !req
334. No evidence that he made the
Italian trains run on time at all.
Another question.Copy !req
335. Which eye did Nelson
wear his eyepatch on?Copy !req
336. The right eye.Copy !req
337. He didn't wear one?Copy !req
338. He didn't wear one, ever.
He never wore an eyepatch.
He just went like that.Copy !req
339. Only in Ladybird books
did he wear an eyepatch.
He was a very strange man.Copy !req
340. He bought for about 25 shillings
these silver stars.Copy !req
341. He was given all kinds of titles by
the king of NaplesCopy !req
342. and he bought them all and put them
on a sash and stood on the
quarterdeck of The Victory...Copy !req
343. covered and shining in stars.Copy !req
344. And from 50ft away,
the French shot him.Copy !req
345. It was amazing. He never actally
lost an eye. He just lost
the sight of his eye.Copy !req
346. Did you know Lady Hamilton was
overweight with a Lancashire accent?
I thought you were saying overrated!Copy !req
347. I'd give her a six...Copy !req
348. It seems a bit unfair on anyone
watching from LancashireCopy !req
349. that you seem to put together
"fat" and a "Lancashire accent"!Copy !req
350. I'm only trying to make the point
that it's surprising. If you watch
Vivien Leigh play her...Copy !req
351. opposite Laurence Olivier
in the film...Copy !req
352. She doesn't talk like Liam Gallagher.Copy !req
353. "Ooh,
I wouldn't have him
if he came with a nest of tables!"Copy !req
354. So, that's all from us.
Let's look at the scores.Copy !req
355. In last place,
we have Alan with minus 20.Copy !req
356. Just ahead is Arthur Smith
with minus 18!Copy !req
357. And plus two points,
it's Rich Hall on two!Copy !req
358. And runaway winner on four points
is Dara O'Briain!Copy !req
359. So there you are.Copy !req
360. So, that's all from
Rich, Arthur, Dara, Alan and me.Copy !req
361. As they say in Ireland, may you get
to Heaven a half hour before the
Devil knows you're dead! Goodnight!Copy !req