1. Well, hello, hello, hello, hello.Copy !req
2. Welcome to QI, the show that puts
a song in your heart,Copy !req
3. a tune on your lips
and a hum in your pyjamas.Copy !req
4. Joining me for tonight's special
music edition are Sean Lock,Copy !req
5. Mark Gatiss, Linda Smith
and Alan Davies.Copy !req
6. Let's tune up,
ladies and gentlemen, please.Copy !req
7. See how you sound. Sean?Copy !req
8. Piano Concerto In A Minor
by Edvard GriegCopy !req
9. Mark?Copy !req
10. Spring from Four Seasons
by Antonio VivaldiCopy !req
11. Linda?Copy !req
12. Water Music by George HandelCopy !req
13. And Alan?Copy !req
14. Twinkle Twinkle Little StarCopy !req
15. Well done. Very good!Copy !req
16. Excellent.Copy !req
17. First question this evening is what
kind of music do snakes like most?Copy !req
18. What do they find most charming?
Spring from Four Seasons
by Antonio VivaldiCopy !req
19. Mark? Kraftwerk.Copy !req
20. Really vicious German electro-pop.Copy !req
21. Imagine those fakirs playing it...Copy !req
22. Those whats? Excuse me?Copy !req
23. Fakirs! Oh, yes, right, fair enough!Copy !req
24. Quite right. They are, all of them.Copy !req
25. Thank you, the sound department.Copy !req
26. When you say they LIKE it, it's
not like they go out and buy it,Copy !req
27. put posters up on their baskets? No.Copy !req
28. No, no, right, I see.
When you say like...Copy !req
29. Look...Copy !req
30. Just a second!Copy !req
31. Good heavens, it works!Copy !req
32. The hood right back,
ready to pounce!Copy !req
33. I am so sorry.Copy !req
34. X-rated It Ain't Half Hot Mum, that!
It was rather.Copy !req
35. Well, no, the oddity is snakes
don't respond to the music at all.Copy !req
36. They don't... It's simply
the sight of it.Copy !req
37. They dislike the sight?
Yeah, cos if you do it without
playing the music...Copy !req
38. They don't respond to music. Right.Copy !req
39. You're quite right.
So, you could do that on anything?Copy !req
40. Or just making no noise at all and
it would still sway back and forthCopy !req
41. and look mesmerised.
They don't have... ears.Copy !req
42. You're sort of right. Until
recently, that's what was thoughtCopy !req
43. cos they don't appear to, but in
fact inside, they have otic nervesCopy !req
44. and a whole system
responding electrically to sound.Copy !req
45. Is that snake alive or is it...Copy !req
46. ..a model one?Copy !req
47. I think it's a dinner,
a snake in a basket!Copy !req
48. I think it's come back from holiday
in Spain and bought a straw donkey.Copy !req
49. When I was a kid, there was
a rattlesnake on TV EVERY week.Copy !req
50. Really? Every week, in something.
There was always a rattlesnake.Copy !req
51. Nowadays, there's never
a rattlesnake on TV.Copy !req
52. It was a big thing in the '70s!Copy !req
53. You didn't even see one, just heard.
You heard one.Copy !req
54. It was the most terrifying noise
of my childhood and
I grew up in Loughton!Copy !req
55. Good. There you are, that's
the point - snakes and hearing.Copy !req
56. Now, a nursery rhyme.Copy !req
57. The nursery rhyme says, "Hey diddle
diddle, the cat and the fiddle..."Copy !req
58. But what have cats
got to do with violins?Copy !req
59. Cat gut?Copy !req
60. Oh, dear.Copy !req
61. Oh, dear, oh, dear.Copy !req
62. No. Not that, then. Not that!Copy !req
63. No. The fact is cat gut never
went into the making of violins.Copy !req
64. It was a myth put about by...
By dogs!Copy !req
65. It was considered very unlucky
to kill a cat in medieval times.Copy !req
66. They made it out of sheep gut and...
Sheep really get it all!Copy !req
67. Don't they just?Copy !req
68. They've got low self-esteem,
I think.Copy !req
69. They allow themselves to be bullied.
They do.Copy !req
70. In Australia, they discovered that
sheep possess morphic knowledge.Copy !req
71. They found that sheep managed
to get across the cattle-gridsCopy !req
72. by lying on their backs
holding their legs upCopy !req
73. and rolling across them
like a little furry ball.Copy !req
74. And sheep were doing it
almost at the same timeCopy !req
75. 1,000 miles away on the
other side of Australia.Copy !req
76. That's it, people don't know.Copy !req
77. That's why it's called morphic
resonance or morphic knowledge.Copy !req
78. It started with tits.Copy !req
79. Blue tits seemed to discover,
in different parts of Britain,Copy !req
80. to peck open silver milk-bottle tops
within a week of each other,Copy !req
81. in Scotland and England, without
any tit having done it before.Copy !req
82. They were too far away from each
other to have communicated.Copy !req
83. This theory arose of what's called,
as Sean said, morphic resonance.Copy !req
84. Er, cats and violins.
Oh, cats and violins, yes!Copy !req
85. The people who had
the monopoly, as it were,Copy !req
86. put it about that it was
made of cat gut,Copy !req
87. knowing their rivals
would never dare kill catsCopy !req
88. and they wanted to keep it secret.Copy !req
89. The same families have run violin
string making for over 600 years.Copy !req
90. Now, of course,
there's nylon and steel added,Copy !req
91. though people still say
sheep gut is still the best.Copy !req
92. I thought it was to do
with the cat's penis. Did you?Copy !req
93. Isn't it a strange shape, like a
violin? Or something like that?Copy !req
94. Is it a really strange shape?Copy !req
95. No, it's the shape of a violin...
What would be the shapeCopy !req
96. of a female's orifice...?
Well, a violin case.Copy !req
97. A violin case?Copy !req
98. Isn't it, haven't they got
a really strange shape?Copy !req
99. Cos that's why they scream,
screech so loudly when they're...Copy !req
100. Cats' penises are barbed
and have a bone in them,Copy !req
101. so yes, they are an unusual shape.Copy !req
102. Yeah, they got a bone,
that was it. Yep.Copy !req
103. Cats can choke on small bones.Copy !req
104. So you wouldn't want to
fiddle with them and that's
the connection with the violin.Copy !req
105. Now, we're still musical,
as we hope to be all evening.Copy !req
106. What kind of music do spiders like?Copy !req
107. Well, I reckon... Yeah?Copy !req
108. .. they've got eight legs... They'd
appreciate a one-man band.Copy !req
109. They'd appreciate
that all-round entertainer...Copy !req
110. Spring from Four Seasons by
Antonio VivaldiCopy !req
111. Kylie Minogue. Why's that?Copy !req
112. Spinning Around! Oh! Very good!Copy !req
113. You could have said
Andrew Lloyd WEBBER!Copy !req
114. Ah! Actually, on a similar note,
might it be Cliff Richards?Copy !req
115. Why's that? RichardS? because his
real name... Richard, rather,
beg your pardon.Copy !req
116. ..is Webb! It is! Oh, yeah.
Marty Webb!Copy !req
117. Marty Webb? It's all just
beginning to...Copy !req
118. I don't think spiders
are that into puns.Copy !req
119. I think they like flies,
stuff like that.Copy !req
120. Cheese.Copy !req
121. I'll tell you an interesting fact
about spiders -Copy !req
122. the Huntsman Spider...Copy !req
123. Yes? which, a fact everyone knows,
doesn't actually build a web,Copy !req
124. is the only spider with lungs.
Ooh, I like that!Copy !req
125. So, you can get it a
birthday cake with a candle! Yeah.Copy !req
126. What a sweet thing to think of!
What a nice way of thinking. Aw!Copy !req
127. What do spiders do to flies?Copy !req
128. They wrap them up in web
like in Lord Of The Rings.Copy !req
129. Yeah... Like silk.Copy !req
130. And then take them off,Copy !req
131. wait till they've softened up
a bit and then they eat them.Copy !req
132. That's the odd thing, they
don't eat them, they drink them.Copy !req
133. They drink them. They dissolve.Copy !req
134. Cos they squirt them with acid that
dissolves them into a sort of...Copy !req
135. Flies, when they land on your food,Copy !req
136. they immediately vomit on it.
Then they tread about in it,Copy !req
137. get it all mushy, then they digest
that. That's quite rude, isn't it?Copy !req
138. It is. But they listen with
their feet, their eight feet.Copy !req
139. Yeah. Hear you coming.Copy !req
140. They listen with feet?
Their penis is on their head.Copy !req
141. It's on the end of a little feeler.
That's where their mating organ is.Copy !req
142. That's the males.
They're just a mess. Exactly.Copy !req
143. They're all dickheads!Copy !req
144. Most of them have eight eyes, too.Copy !req
145. Spiders have eight eyes
and eight legs? Yes.Copy !req
146. Well, the answer to this question is
it seems to be classical musicCopy !req
147. cos they did an experimentCopy !req
148. and they found... Who are THEY?Copy !req
149. Who ARE they? The University of Ohio
is "they"... or ARE they.Copy !req
150. The University of
BLEEP-all-else-better-to-do.Copy !req
151. Well, no. Formerly the Polytechnic
of BLEEP-all-else-to-do!Copy !req
152. So domestic spiders were
subjected to Bach, techno,Copy !req
153. which I believe
is some modern music, and rap.Copy !req
154. For techno and rap, they built their
webs as far away from the speakersCopy !req
155. as possible, but closer
for classical music.Copy !req
156. Someone very close to me told me
about music called tesco. Know it?Copy !req
157. No. No. It's a blend of
disco and techno!Copy !req
158. It's rather sweet. Known as tesco.Copy !req
159. They have tesco evenings in certain
nightclubs. Really? Yeah.Copy !req
160. A type of modern young person's
dance music likeCopy !req
161. two-step UK garage, for example...Copy !req
162. .. which is my particular favourite.Copy !req
163. These would be nightclubs
right on the edge of town!Copy !req
164. You can drive through,
plenty of parking...Copy !req
165. Another bizarre spider experiment -
and I think this'll fascinate you -Copy !req
166. was conducted by Nasa.Copy !req
167. Really extraordinary experiment
in 1995Copy !req
168. to see how spiders reacted to drugs.Copy !req
169. Behind you are some of the results.Copy !req
170. We have two webs. One produced
on LSD and one on caffeine.Copy !req
171. You have to match the drug
to the web.Copy !req
172. I bet the worst one is caffeine,
on the right.Copy !req
173. That's what you reckon? Yeah? Yeah.Copy !req
174. The other one looks like
a bullet through glass...Copy !req
175. You're absolutely right!Copy !req
176. The extraordinary thing,
nobody understands why,Copy !req
177. is when they give them LSD,Copy !req
178. they make even more geometrically
perfect webs than in nature.Copy !req
179. It's absolutely perfect.Copy !req
180. Do they see spiders everywhere?
Well, they see humans, probably.Copy !req
181. "Ooh, bad trip. I saw humans
floating in front of my eyes."Copy !req
182. That jangled mess
on the right is caffeine,Copy !req
183. the world's most popular drug. Wow.Copy !req
184. 80% of all human beings
take caffeine at least once a day.Copy !req
185. There's an exhibition at the
British Museum at the momentCopy !req
186. and it's about healthy living
and things we do to ourselves.Copy !req
187. There's an exhibit with 14,000 pillsCopy !req
188. all sewn into a big meshCopy !req
189. to represent the pills an average
First World personCopy !req
190. takes in their life.Copy !req
191. That would last my nan about a week!Copy !req
192. Not content with that, we push our
gear on spiders, for some reason.Copy !req
193. Yeah, "You try it now."
"We don't want coffee!"Copy !req
194. "Have it, we want to see what you
do. We want to see what you do!"Copy !req
195. "Ah!"Ah, look. You're weird!"
"Thanks."Copy !req
196. There'd be a lot of loud laughing
flies, if they saw that.Copy !req
197. "Ooh, we just fly
straight through it. It's great!"Copy !req
198. But we have another one
for you, guess the drug.Copy !req
199. Let's have a look. There we are.
What would that be as a result of?Copy !req
200. Lager!Copy !req
201. Any other thoughts? Marijuana.Copy !req
202. Marijuana is the right answer.
Mary Jane or cannabis or whatever
else you'd like to call it.Copy !req
203. Cos they couldn't be arsed
to finish it! Exactly!Copy !req
204. Good. Now, listen to this piece
of music by
The Mamas and the Papas.Copy !req
205. Lovely! That, as I say, is Monday,
Monday by The Mamas and the Papas,Copy !req
206. but what colour is Monday?Copy !req
207. Twinkle Twinkle Little StarCopy !req
208. Yes? Blue. Blue. Because of... why?Copy !req
209. Just makes me think of blue.
Well, that's right.Copy !req
210. Most people, if they think of
days of the week,
assign a colour to them.Copy !req
211. Wednesday's kind of green,Copy !req
212. Thursday's brown, Friday's black.
Yeah.Copy !req
213. I see. Friday's dark blue to me
and Thursday's sort of red-y.Copy !req
214. Tuesday is maybe yellow.
I have a yellow. Saturday's red.Copy !req
215. Yeah. Sunday's sort of bluey,
purple-y. Yes. Monday's white to me.Copy !req
216. But there you are. Do you have it?Copy !req
217. Have you two done
a spider experiment at Nasa?Copy !req
218. Do you not have any sense of colour
when you...? No, I would say Monday,Copy !req
219. I think of a period of time
that has to be enduredCopy !req
220. until Tuesday comes along. Yes.Copy !req
221. Don't expect the poet laureateship
to be handed to you on a plate!Copy !req
222. It's a little bit...Copy !req
223. If Monday reminds you of blue,
does blue make you think of Monday?Copy !req
224. It makes me think of mould. Yeah.Copy !req
225. What, blue?Copy !req
226. It's not thought either.Copy !req
227. That's to say, it's not thought
in the sense of rational analysis.Copy !req
228. It's as if you see the colour
in your head.Copy !req
229. We'll move on to this because I'll
play you a chord of music, like...Copy !req
230. .. which some of you with perfect
pitch might know as D major.Copy !req
231. D, F sharp, A.
Lime green, I had there.Copy !req
232. You had lime green? Anybody else?Copy !req
233. No! No? No. Tell you what I heard.
I heard a sound!Copy !req
234. I was just thinking... Yes, I know!Copy !req
235. We do. Most people do.
Anyone hear a sound at that point?Copy !req
236. Anyone? Or just me?Copy !req
237. Please, God, not again!Copy !req
238. I just thought of the sound man
going, "Yes!"Copy !req
239. It's true cos he really did it well.
Let's try again. Again?Copy !req
240. He's good, isn't he?
He's going, "Uh-uh-uh!"Copy !req
241. He's very good, that sound man!Copy !req
242. He's very good, round of applause.Copy !req
243. If I do it, will he do it for me?
Go on. See.Copy !req
244. Yes, with one finger as well!Copy !req
245. I wonder if he'll do it for me.Copy !req
246. Wahey!Copy !req
247. No, the fact is there is this
condition known as synaesthesia,Copy !req
248. which is quite common, in
which people genuinely see a colourCopy !req
249. when they hear sound.Copy !req
250. Rimsky-Korsakov, for example,
saw that D major chord...Copy !req
251. Boing! Oh.Copy !req
252. There's Rimsky-Korsakov.Copy !req
253. He saw it as
a glorious sunny yellow.Copy !req
254. Liszt would say to orchestras
and completely baffle them,Copy !req
255. "No, no, no, please, gentlemen,
bluer, bluer!"Copy !req
256. Julian Asher, a neuroscientist
who also has synaesthesia,Copy !req
257. he tried to explain it
because he had it as a child.Copy !req
258. He was taken to
concerts by his parentsCopy !req
259. and he always used to assume the
lights went down before the concertCopy !req
260. so you could see the colours better
as they came off the orchestra.Copy !req
261. He just assumed that cos he thought
everybody had the same experience.Copy !req
262. That when they heard music, they
saw colours right in front of them.Copy !req
263. For real.Copy !req
264. Rimsky-Korsakov wrote what he saw,
so "We're going up from F,Copy !req
265. "we have E Major".Copy !req
266. And that, for him, was bright blue.Copy !req
267. And F major...Copy !req
268. Red. Bright green for him.Copy !req
269. But interestingly, E flat major...Copy !req
270. Magnolia? Miserable grey for him.Copy !req
271. Isn't that interesting?
Cos it's very, very common,Copy !req
272. E flat major is the most
common chord for singers.Copy !req
273. It's quite odd, that photograph
cos it's not like he's posed for it.Copy !req
274. It's not full-on. It's like he's
coming out somewhereCopy !req
275. and someone's taken
a Victorian paparazzi snap of him!Copy !req
276. It's probably a CT camera,
a Victorian CT camera. CCTV?Copy !req
277. A bloke with a big cloak!
Yeah. Moving on...Copy !req
278. Wobbling along the street!
"Pivot! Pivot!"Copy !req
279. Now, in 1988, lady and gentlemen...Copy !req
280. In 1988, Warner Communications,
as then was, paid John F SengstackCopy !req
281. $28 million for the rights
to a single song.Copy !req
282. Just want to know what it was.Copy !req
283. Water Music by George HandelCopy !req
284. Yes? A bit pricey.Copy !req
285. It was. It was. They reckoned
they'd do very well out of it.Copy !req
286. National anthem?Copy !req
287. It was not the national anthem. Yes?Copy !req
288. Spring from Four Seasons
by Antonio VivaldiCopy !req
289. Was it the theme to Button Moon?Copy !req
290. Lovely idea. It wasn't that.Copy !req
291. Hokey Cokey. No. Happy Birthday!Copy !req
292. Ah. Thank you very much, Mark.
It was Happy Birthday To You,Copy !req
293. which was composed in 1924 by a
couple of old biddies. $28 million?Copy !req
294. $28 million. They make about
$2 million a year out of it. Wow.Copy !req
295. What did they sing
in 1923, for goodness' sake?Copy !req
296. They brought the cake out,
everyone just stood aboutCopy !req
297. in a slightly awkward silence!Copy !req
298. It's infinitely preferable to
having that bloody songCopy !req
299. sung at you!Copy !req
300. Yes... It was written
by two old things.Copy !req
301. Irving Berlin included it, with
the words, "Happy birthday to you,"Copy !req
302. which they didn't write,
nobody knows who did write those.Copy !req
303. Included in a 1933 musical,Copy !req
304. so they sued and won
and retained the copyright.Copy !req
305. In theory, if you sing it
in a restaurant,Copy !req
306. you owe Warner Bros money because
it's counted as a public place.Copy !req
307. You'd have to be very honest to
phone them up and go,Copy !req
308. "Er, it was a birthday last night.
How much do I owe you?Copy !req
309. "And I hummed a few bars of
Let It Be as well!"Copy !req
310. Happy Birthday was the first song
sung in outer space, on Apollo 9.Copy !req
311. Do you know what the
original song was written as,Copy !req
312. what the lyrics were?Copy !req
313. It was a death row song.Copy !req
314. Yeah.Copy !req
315. No. A really good idea
for Ainsley HarriottCopy !req
316. would be Ainsley's
Death Row Dinners!Copy !req
317. Don't you think?Copy !req
318. Cos he's so jolly!Copy !req
319. Originally, it was written as a
song teachers sang to their class.Copy !req
320. Good Morning To All, it was called.Copy !req
321. Then it became Good Morning To You,Copy !req
322. and then Happy Birthday To You.
That's its history.Copy !req
323. Anyway, what was the most disastrous
composition of the manCopy !req
324. who gave the world
The Wombling Song,Copy !req
325. Remember You're A Womble,
Wombling Free?Copy !req
326. Wombling In the Rain... Mike Batt.Copy !req
327. Spring from Four Seasons
by Antonio VivaldiCopy !req
328. As you say, Mike Batt.
All of them! Yes!Copy !req
329. But one of them was particularly and
rather amazingly disastrous.Copy !req
330. Water Music by George HandelCopy !req
331. Not one of those
I've mentioned. Yep?Copy !req
332. Was it The Wombling BLEEP Party?Copy !req
333. It was actually a
financial disaster.Copy !req
334. Spring from Four Seasons by
Antonio VivaldiCopy !req
335. Free Myra Hindley?Copy !req
336. Didn't take off.Copy !req
337. Jerry and the Wombles.
Sorry, that passed by.Copy !req
338. Whoa. No, he didn't go that far.Copy !req
339. No, it was on an album,Copy !req
340. he had a track which lasted a
minute and it was complete silence.Copy !req
341. It was called Minute's Silence.
Oh, yes! He got sued.
And he was sued by... who?Copy !req
342. Cage. John Cage. John Cage.Copy !req
343. John Cage, exactly!Copy !req
344. Author of 4'33", the famous 1952
composition of complete silence.Copy !req
345. What a load of rubbish!Copy !req
346. But, there are two reasons why we
shouldn't feel sorry for Mike Batt.Copy !req
347. One is he actually put, "One Minute
Silence, Batt/Cage", so...Copy !req
348. And the second reason
is he wrote the campaign songCopy !req
349. for William Hague's '97 campaign,
so whatever shit is flung at him...Copy !req
350. I happened once, I had one of the
best ever links done on radioCopy !req
351. was done by Dale Winton
on his Radio 2 show.Copy !req
352. And he played Watership Down,
you know, Bright Eyes,Copy !req
353. which Mike Batt wrote. You know...Copy !req
354. He did. And he got to the end of it
and he goes,Copy !req
355. "Listen to that," he said. "A song
about a rabbit written by a BATT"!Copy !req
356. And I thought that's classy.Copy !req
357. Gah, Dale, well, he is the guv'nor.
Yeah. Of course.Copy !req
358. I saw the Wombles. Yeah? Live?Copy !req
359. They were actually men dressed
as Wombles, so they were enormous.Copy !req
360. It was one of the most frightening
things of my entire childhood!Copy !req
361. Freak you out?
They towered over children,Copy !req
362. who'd come to see little cute
Wombles who gathered litterCopy !req
363. and lives in a burrow.Copy !req
364. Loomed over them!Copy !req
365. Was it Christmas?Copy !req
366. Cos all the dwarves are booked up
round that time.Copy !req
367. Two actor friends of mine
were in a pantomime versionCopy !req
368. of The Wind In The Willows.Copy !req
369. Yeah. One was the badger,
one was Toad.Copy !req
370. And they didn't really get on.
They were getting on quite badly,Copy !req
371. so obviously there's quite
a long section of the showCopy !req
372. where Badger is nagging Toad,
you know, to change his ways.Copy !req
373. And one day, my friend who was the
toad just got really, really drunkCopy !req
374. and he turned up for the afternoon
show, Badger told him off, saying,Copy !req
375. "You've got to mend your ways".Copy !req
376. And he just said, "You BLEEP off,
you stripy bastard!"Copy !req
377. These little kids...Copy !req
378. Are the children still in therapy?Copy !req
379. Anyway, here's an
interesting question as well.Copy !req
380. What was unique
about Good Friday, 1930,Copy !req
381. that urgently required ten minutes
of light piano music?Copy !req
382. Did Jesus come back, change his mind
and they had to fill in?Copy !req
383. No. Um, it was a news programme,
but instead of news,Copy !req
384. they played ten minutes light music.
Why would that be? He was drunk.Copy !req
385. Cos something had happened?Copy !req
386. Quite the opposite.Copy !req
387. Nothing had happened.
Nothing had happened.Copy !req
388. And there's no news today. No.Copy !req
389. An announcer came on, said
"Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
390. "there's no news tonight,
so here's some music."Copy !req
391. Absolutely true. Absolutely true.Copy !req
392. Yeah.Copy !req
393. There was no news?
Nothing happening!Copy !req
394. Well, we've tried to check
what did happenCopy !req
395. and aside from football matches,Copy !req
396. in India, there was the start
of what was called
the Chittagong Rebellion,Copy !req
397. in which 700 youths
attacked a telegraph officeCopy !req
398. and disconnected all communications
in the city of Chittagong.Copy !req
399. But that didn't happen until 10.00,Copy !req
400. which was too late
for the news in London,Copy !req
401. so there was no news, it seems.Copy !req
402. They probably didn't
have traffic reports.Copy !req
403. They wouldn't have
had traffic reports.Copy !req
404. "Here we go, live to the camera
at Hanger Lane." Yeah?Copy !req
405. And there's a bloke on a bike.Copy !req
406. I wouldn't give you much
chance of getting home before 6:00Copy !req
407. and that's a fact! Yes! Right.Copy !req
408. "You'd better call up
your maid and butlerCopy !req
409. "and tell them
to put something in the oven."Copy !req
410. Yep. What would they actually do...?Copy !req
411. I mean, local papers have to
deal with no news every week.Copy !req
412. They still write
the paper every week.Copy !req
413. Yes. My favourite ever...
When I used to live in Sheffield,Copy !req
414. the Sheffield Star,
my favourite ever headline -Copy !req
415. "Worksop man dies
of natural causes."Copy !req
416. Fantastic!Copy !req
417. Oh, that's bliss.Copy !req
418. What about the story of the giant
microphones invading the BBC?Copy !req
419. He's terrified!Copy !req
420. They were hushing that one up!Copy !req
421. Yeah. The incredible
shrinking announcer!Copy !req
422. Now, prepare to lose composureCopy !req
423. because it's General Ignorance,
so fingers on buzzers.Copy !req
424. What is this?Copy !req
425. Tap music.Copy !req
426. Tap music?Copy !req
427. Yeah. Very close.
Looks like taps, doesn't it?Copy !req
428. Yes, it does. The opening bars...Copy !req
429. Exactly.Copy !req
430. By a weird accident, you're right,Copy !req
431. in as much as it is
a dance notation.Copy !req
432. Oh. It's known as
the Benesh Movement Notation,Copy !req
433. which was invented in the 1950s
by Mr Benesh,Copy !req
434. who was an accountant and
very talented artist and musician.Copy !req
435. His wife was a ballet dancerCopy !req
436. and it shows the choreography of
a particular dance.Copy !req
437. Can you work out what it is?Copy !req
438. It sort of represents...Copy !req
439. Is that legs? Cos you use
legs in dance... Oh...Copy !req
440. Spring from Four Seasons
by Antonio VivaldiCopy !req
441. Yes? The Hokey Cokey?
It is The Hokey Cokey! Well done!Copy !req
442. And there are legs going in and out.Copy !req
443. Exactly.Copy !req
444. There was an American version
of the dance by a man calledCopy !req
445. Larry La Prise, and he died in 1996.Copy !req
446. What happened at his funeral?Copy !req
447. They couldn't get him
in the coffin. Why?Copy !req
448. They put the left leg in...Copy !req
449. Then the trouble started. Right.Copy !req
450. So not...Copy !req
451. Ah, line 'em up!
Mr Fry, can I do me song?Copy !req
452. Mr Fry!Copy !req
453. Bring back variety!Copy !req
454. Now, next question.Copy !req
455. What was the first invention
to break the sound barrier?Copy !req
456. Mae West's vibrator!Copy !req
457. How fast does a bullet go?Copy !req
458. I need an answer, not a question.Copy !req
459. Spring from Four Seasons
by Antonio VivaldiCopy !req
460. More steam!Copy !req
461. They got coal,
they're shovelling it in!Copy !req
462. Going back, I think, to three.Copy !req
463. Um... so...Copy !req
464. She had a giant rubber band,
six foot wide,Copy !req
465. and there were ten men
twisting it round.Copy !req
466. Dear. Dear me!Copy !req
467. Cannonball, musket fire,
catapults...Copy !req
468. Whoa! Hello. Ooh!Copy !req
469. No, not the cannonball.Copy !req
470. They spelt it wrong!
They spelt it wrong!Copy !req
471. Points to me!Copy !req
472. No, they haven't.Copy !req
473. You'd prefer three Ns, would you?
There's two Ns in cannon.Copy !req
474. Three, I'd have thought.
Well, one on the end,Copy !req
475. but I mean in the middle. Yeah.
In the middle two, yes.Copy !req
476. This was a... Otherwise,
it's a ball of religious...Copy !req
477. Yes. We thought... .. person!Copy !req
478. Exactly. We thought it was
Bobby and Tommy, you know.Copy !req
479. "He's looking at me!
He's looking at me!"Copy !req
480. "Stop looking!"Copy !req
481. Alistair McGowan, watch out!Copy !req
482. Anyway... Not a cannonball, then?Copy !req
483. No, not a cannonball.Copy !req
484. It's 7,000 years old,
the earliest we found,Copy !req
485. in China, it was invented.Copy !req
486. Very common in
all cultures, though.Copy !req
487. Harrison Ford uses
it extensively. Ooh!Copy !req
488. Spring from Four Seasons
by Antonio VivaldiCopy !req
489. Yeah? Whip? Firework?
Not a firework.Copy !req
490. A whip is the right answer. What?Copy !req
491. A whip. The sound of the
whip cracking isn't
leather hitting leather.Copy !req
492. It's a mini sonic boom.Copy !req
493. Where it makes a loopCopy !req
494. and as it tapers towards the end,
it gets fasterCopy !req
495. until it gets up to 724mph.Copy !req
496. Yowser! We only discovered this -
as humans, that is -Copy !req
497. when we were able to use
high-speed camerasCopy !req
498. to see it all slowed down and see
the leather wasn't hitting itself,Copy !req
499. that wasn't the noise at all,
it was actually...Copy !req
500. But Professor, that's fantastic!
Isn't it?Copy !req
501. Isn't it?Copy !req
502. It's great news!Copy !req
503. Well, on the subject of sounds,Copy !req
504. when you listen to the waves
in a seashell,Copy !req
505. what are you actually hearing?Copy !req
506. Water Music by George HandelCopy !req
507. Yes?
Nine times out of ten, Norah Jones.Copy !req
508. Norah Jones? What do you mean?Copy !req
509. What's the sound you hear
when you do that?Copy !req
510. Well, you're hearing the sea.Copy !req
511. Why would that be?Copy !req
512. Well, you're on the beach,
aren't you?Copy !req
513. No, actually, there's a whoosh!Copy !req
514. But you don't hear...
Spring from Four Seasons
by Antonio VivaldiCopy !req
515. Yeah? I've never done it
away from the seaside.Copy !req
516. Ah. Try it, you could do it
with a mug.Copy !req
517. It's the pounding
of your blood in your eardrums.Copy !req
518. Oh, dear! No. It's not that either.Copy !req
519. No. Who's that girl, though,
who's got the seashell in her ear?Copy !req
520. She looks like she failed
the Magnum advert.Copy !req
521. They said, "No, lick it,
you silly bitch!"Copy !req
522. They're awfully rude,
aren't they?Copy !req
523. Yeah. I know what you mean.Copy !req
524. You just get a rushing
sound, like...Copy !req
525. What would that be?Copy !req
526. Air... in your ear. Yeah, airflow
resonating inside it.Copy !req
527. Works with a mug,
a cup or something.Copy !req
528. Course, if you hold a
shell suit to your ear,
you can hear Romford.Copy !req
529. Very good.Copy !req
530. There we are. Now, who wrote
the tune for Alan's buzzer?Copy !req
531. Twinkle Twinkle Little StarCopy !req
532. Prince Edward.Copy !req
533. Who's that? Oh, blimey, it's me.Copy !req
534. Is that two of Anne Robinson's
daughters?Copy !req
535. You see now how they get the idea
for the Slinky.Copy !req
536. I bet there's a clown somewhere
panicking. "Jesus Christ!"Copy !req
537. Five minutes to show time...Copy !req
538. "Uh!"Copy !req
539. Why is it not so springy now?Copy !req
540. You're not eating so many
cheesy Wotsits!Copy !req
541. I'm looking a bit ginger!Copy !req
542. Yeah. You certainly are.Copy !req
543. He's like the new Anne Robinson!
Have you seen her?Copy !req
544. New? She's regenerated!Copy !req
545. She's a beautiful new lady.
It's extraordinary.Copy !req
546. She looks like a Siamese cat
walking into a storm.Copy !req
547. What was the tune again?Copy !req
548. It was what we would call
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.Copy !req
549. Twinkle Twinkle Little StarCopy !req
550. Bet it's German. Tvinkel, Tvinkel?Copy !req
551. Leetle staah!Copy !req
552. Mozart did a series of variations
on it at the age of five. Beautiful.Copy !req
553. Bloody Mozart! Special-needs boy!Copy !req
554. Now, the scores.Copy !req
555. It's rather a distant quartet here.Copy !req
556. We'll do it first to last.Copy !req
557. Our winner, very tunefully,
is Linda with two tuneful points.Copy !req
558. Two? Two points? Yes! Two!Copy !req
559. Mark managed a harmonic minus four.Copy !req
560. Sean was not quite so on-song
with minus eight.Copy !req
561. As usual... I'm sorry to sayCopy !req
562. Alan managed an absolutely
astounding messCopy !req
563. of a ruin of a sound
which was minus 13.Copy !req
564. That's all from QI.
A big hand for our singers -Copy !req
565. Sean, Mark, Linda and Alan.Copy !req
566. We leave with this mementoCopy !req
567. of conductor Sir Thomas Beecham's
observation to a lady cellist.Copy !req
568. "You have between your legs
an instrument that can giveCopy !req
569. "pleasure to thousands and you only
scratch it." Goodnight.Copy !req