Pure Pwnage 1x8

Directed by Graeme Lynch

Jeremy has been training hard and is ready to defend his title at Pwnageddon, the greatest annual gaming event "since ever". This year Jeremy finds an unexpected challenge.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Oh you like that, don't you?

2. You cheap little fucker, man..

3. Doug it's not cheap, it's like in the game.. they wouldn't of put the move in the game if it was so cheap..

4. Well.. I'm just saying like.. if that's that how you wanna play then..

5. Yeah! Now that's what I'm talking about!

6. So Doug and I have been hanging out like a lot again.. it's pretty cool.. it's just like the old days y'know, like..

7. We even busted out my Nintendo the other day and we're like.. went through all the Mega Man's, like.. as fast as we could

8. Yeah you just gonna stand there Mario? You just gonna stand there now?

9. I'm not gonna stand there, I'm gonna punch you right down..

10. - So, why aren't you hanging out with Anastasia?

11. Well, y'know.. she's kinda busy and stuff

12. She's got her cousin's wedding coming up, she's all excited about.. she's a Bride-something

13. Y'know Doctors won't let me play WoW so like.. I don't really have a way to see her too much, but.. y'know..

14. It's not like I.. I don't care.. y'know.. cause..

15. I've been so busy right.. like I'm kinda putting this thing together

16. So the other day Jeremy's telling me about this "Gamer Army" he's putting together..

17. So I mean, obviously, who's the first person he's gonna ask?

18. First I asked DenwO, and then I asked Skrie.. and then I asked KashmirZ, but he said something about his mom..

19. So I asked NTAC, he said he's in for sure but like.. his family's on vacation..

20. And then I asked, y'know, Kazai.. but he said he's too busy running his guild or something..

21. And I talked to Alex, but.. he hasn't got back to me, so..

22. Y'know I think I might ask Doug

23. Is that the school bus? Is that the school bus Doug?

24. Oh is this your stop? Come on Doug..

25. Y'know I think it's a pretty good idea now to, y'know.. kinda keep the peace between each other

26. And maybe next time when we play some FPS, I'm gonna take it a little easy on him

27. I'm trying to get Doug into like RTS y'know and..

28. he's like "Well can we play like 5 minutes no rush?"

29. and I'm like "Yeah ..."

30. Y'know maybe a couple leg shots or maybe some arm shots.. maybe stay away from that head

31. Oops! Did I just build another Warp Spider squad against all your tier 2 Space Marines? Y'know..

32. Just 'cause like.. I gotta go a little easy on him y'know.. make him feel like he's not a complete n00b..

33. I wouldn't say we were like enemies before.. but now things are different..

34. Now I think he really respects me

35. Oh yeah! Doug likes that!

36. You like that Doug? Oh yeah Doug likes that..

37. You want a Dragon Punch? You like my Dragon Punch!

38. Remember that time we like took Kyle, and we like tied him up to that pole..

39. And we're doing like Street Fighter moves to him and stuff

40. And then that German Shepherd came along and pissed on his leg!

41. And he's like crying "Guys this is so unfair like'[br][br]- Guys that wasn't funny at all

42. That's kinda creepy.. have you ever heard that before?

43. Again.. let's just go, let's go.. let's go quick..

44. Is there an pwnerer around?

45. Pwnerer?

46. Hello?

47. Yeah.. Well no, I like didn't hear it..

48. I.. Yeah he's right here..

49. We are! No, I.. No..

50. How the fuck did he get my number?

51. What the hell was that about?

52. It's a long story Doug..

53. Ok Jeremy.. I wanna shoot this guy in the head.. like what key is it?

54. Well Doug you gotta hit like, 'L'..

55. 'L'?

56. There's more keys than just like W, A, S and D.. like seriously..

57. Oh yeah, there's like 100 more..

58. Well why do they confuse ya man?

59. What's going on man?

60. It's just like I'm n00bified man, y'know..

61. I play WoW for a month and look what happens.. It's like I gotta learn how to walk again

62. Is this a keyboard? I don't know.. Is that a mouse, Doug? Like tell me..

63. Lanageddon is like a week away, Doug..

64. Y'know, I got a better idea.. come with me

65. What?

66. I'm telling ya Jeremy, if you really wanna embarass some bitch at CS.. Ya gotta knife 'em!

67. Is that it?

68. That's it man..

69. Alright, let's let the pwnage begin..

70. Doug check this n00b out..

71. Keep it up, that's like pretty good.. you could almost shoot yourself..

72. He's playing WoW at a LAN party!

73. That's pretty cool micro, like.. with one hand there..

74. Are you Tank China? Tank China and.. who's that?

75. Nuke vs. Tank? Well I hope Nuke wins or you've got some embarassment coming..

76. It's all about speedy Nuke Battlemasters.. gotta just micro a bunch of Nuke Battlemasters, like no problem..

77. Like coming in at all sides.. 'X' is like your friend..

78. Flashing tunnel..

79. Oh yeah right![br][br](I'm a big n00b and it's on camera lol)

80. No.. no no.. no that's.. no here.. get up I'll show you how to play, come on..

81. Ahh n00bs.. see, you gotta use like the buttons.. so it's like..

82. Just like that.. get that?

83. Well what do you think Jeremy? About time we sign up for this n00bfest?

84. It's about that time Doug..

85. Have you read this? They want us to play 7 guys just to get to the semi-finals?

86. Can I just play 'em all at once? I mean it'd be easier..

87. The Counter-Strike: Source tournament is about to begin!

88. 'A' Pool - Round 1, find your partners (opponents) and prepare to begin

89. I've just been informed that 'C' Pool will be - FPS Doug vs..

90. Everyone

91. Ahh crap!

92. But nothing was like that last guy, Kyle.. when he's like doing like-

93. Who's this guy?

94. Dude.. that's Jeremy

95. That's teh_pwnerer man!

96. The Pwnerer..

97. of n00bs!

98. Jeremy! Jeremy! Dude you gotta check to see what this guy's playing over there![br][br]FPS DOUG!

99. I'll be seeing you in Semi-Finals..

100. Dude.. did that guy just headshot me?

101. No idea Doug.. some n00b thinks he's like mofo'ing Neo or some shit..

102. Man! Check out that n00b's rig!

103. He's not much of a n00b Doug..

104. We are now entering Semi-Final Round - FPS Doug vs. Deathstriker6666

105. - Looks like you're up Doug

106. Let's do it![br][br]Doug.. Doug..

107. Just take it seriously ok? No I know, I know.. I'm just.. just don't try to knife the guy..

108. Just shoot him in the head, get it over with.. and I'll see you in the finals y'know.. we'll have some fun

109. Man.. don't worry dude.. headshot, done!

110. Doug! Doug! Doug! You ok?

111. BOOM HEADSHOT! FPS DOUG!

112. Doug..

113. What's going on? [br][br]Doug come on let's get up buddy.. come on, let's go..

114. Man did I win?

115. No, no I'm afraid not..

116. What happened dude?

117. Well I'll tell ya man - you walked out in front of the guy after he already missed you with a snipe..

118. You just strafed right in front of him and let him shoot you-[br][br]It wasn't me though, man.. it wasn't me..

119. It was like I was sitting there watching myself be a n00b..[br][br]Well I was watching you be a n00b too man!

120. It's like he had me in a trance or something..

121. Doug! Your computer's fucked man! Like fucked royally! It's unbelievable! I've never seen a computer so fucked!

122. My PC? [br][br]What.. what am I gonna play him on Doug?

123. Like I don't have my PC..[br][br]I don't man know man, it's like.. blew up and melted and it's just..

124. How am I gonna kill him Doug?

125. Ooohh.. what's the matter, Doug? Can't play on that piece of melted cheese of a computer you got over there?

126. Piss off!

127. Ooohh.. and teh_pwnerer! What happened to your computer?

128. Did your Mommy come and take it away from you?

129. Looks like you might just have to forfeit..

130. What do you pwn now, huh? You pwn nothing!

131. You don't even have a chance.. Oh Noooo!

132. Come on guys, let's go kick some ass!

133. What are you gonna do man?

134. Don't worry about it man, whatever..

135. If I have to forfeit, I'll forfeit.. I've pwned that n00b already man.. guaranteed I've pwned him online..

136. He knows I pwn him.. I mean what am I gonna do without a PC, man?

137. "I mean what am I gonna do without a PC, man?"

138. Hello?

139. teh_Masterer?

140. Yeah.. Yeah, yeah, ok no problem.. don't worry..

141. This is for.. teh_pwnerer?

142. How soon do you need it?

143. 30 minutes?

144. I'll be there in 25!

145. Where's teh_pwnerer?

146. It's gonna do just fine, Kyle..

147. One round.. sudden death.. winner takes all

148. Done.

149. He didn't even buy anything![br][br]-What do you mean?

150. Well he's just running around with his knife![br][br]- I thought running around with a knife was good?

151. Hey, yo! Are you gonna play in the StarCraft tournament?

152. StarCraft tournament? Yeah maybe I'll show you n00bs..[br][br]Sup Doug!

153. Whoa! It's the guys from the internet! Welcome!

154. So which one of you n00bs is like gonna be pwned first by me?

155. I volunteer myself to have my ass completely kicked!

156. Alright Kyle you got this guy here - what's your name?

157. My name's Cole..

158. Ok Cole's like the first n00b getting spanked..

159. Yo I thought Kyle would look cooler, but.. no, not really dude..

160. Y'know no wonder he's behind the camera.. look at him! Jesus Christ..