Pure Pwnage 1x1

Directed by Michael Kennedy

Jeremy’s mom cancels his Internet connection and makes some tough rules in an attempt to teach him a ‘tough love’ lesson in growing up. This threatens Jeremy’s position as number one on his favourite StarCraft gaming ladder.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - Jeremy

2. - Jeremy were doing the show[br][br]Piss off noob!

3. NOOB!

4. - Jeremy we're doing the show today

5. I don't wanna do the show

6. - You said you'd do the show!

7. Dude you're not Scorcese man

8. You're just a noob

9. - Jer- if you don't get up Mom's gonna freak

10. Mom's like a noob man, don't worry about mom

11. Mom's like using like a 3 dozer build

12. It's a tough life sometimes right, like

13. You just gotta, like.. you're always on the go right

14. Some people, they like get up and go to work and stuff right

15. But that's not very stressful right, they just go to a job..

16. Like y'know I gotta get up and make sure I'm still #1 right

17. I gotta practice and uhh..

18. Y'know it's.. It's just not easy sometimes

19. You're up all night pwning noobs and then

20. You're expected to get up, k'now..

21. Why are you on the floor man?

22. - Dude it's a cool shot

23. What do you mean? I dunno? Yeah but ..[br][br]- It's Kubrick.. it's like Kubrick

24. Who's Kubrick?

25. - Like Malcom Mcdowell style.. Kubrick

26. You're such a noob sometimes Kyle

27. K this is like my show

28. Just gonna make a show

29. Y'know I'm like the star and.. and stuff right.. and like..

30. and my roommate Kyle's like on the camera, but you can't seem him cause he's like holding it and pointing at me and stuff

31. My name's Jeremy

32. You might know me as teh_pwnerer

33. Cause like.. that's what I do

34. I guess the point of the show and stuff is to like.. kinda like..

35. Y'know.. it's just to kinda like help people y'know like.. pwn n00bs

36. Most of people are n00bs right

37. A lot of people think that right..

38. And it's true

39. And so I just thought we'd make a show and we'd help 'em out

40. By showing 'em what I do

41. And how I do it

42. Like I don't just rip strats, I like make 'em up right

43. Sometimes I'm like 4 workers that way right

44. And then like 3 workers that way right

45. Instead of like 2 and 3 right which is what other people are doing right now

46. I'll kill you with 1 technical right, cause like..

47. Y'know I just got the micro

48. Are you actually there? Should I talk about how you're there and stuff?

49. Or should I like?

50. You're such a noob

51. Man there's pressures.. it's a.. it's a high-stress lifestyle for uhh..

52. Y'know like no money

53. I just do it for the love

54. LOL

55. LOL LOL

56. That was like a joke right.. that was like a joke

57. This is my computer here y'know.. it's pretty good

58. My uhhh..

59. Y'know I like bought it myself and stuff

60. That's how I got it

61. Kyle bought his camera too, that's how he got it

62. So y'know if you wanna be a pro right.. when you get up in the morning

63. you gotta check cncreplays like first

64. I've like known people and stuff that have had like.. y'know, like..

65. like "jobs" and stuff like that

66. They wake up in the morning and they watch like CNN replays and stuff

67. I just don't really like that cause I think that's kinda fake right

68. Like on CNN it's kinda like what the journalist thought happened right

69. You watch a replay on cncreplays and that's like what really happened right

70. You get the whole.. the whole.. y'know like..

71. Perspec- perspective and stuff

72. But on TV all they show is like.. they'll just show a burnt out humvee

73. And you're like 'what happened to the humvee?'

74. You're all like 'where's the RPGs?'

75. It's all about terrorists and the Bush and stuff

76. And I'm like.. I'd rather see a good GLA game right

77. Y'know sometimes I think USA is kinda noob right

78. Oh USA! Oh I guess they turtled up for like 50 years and then they moved in with their Alpha Auroras

79. Cause they're like total noobs right

80. Sometimes I'll come into Zero Hour discussions right

81. And you'll find uhh..

82. 'Top USA Players'? LOL

83. LOL!

84. Oh reply!

85. You gotta make your replys like quick right like

86. L-O-L R-O-F-L L-O-L N-O-O-B F-A-G L-O-L

87. Like I like think a lot right

88. Cause y'know it's like RTS's it's about like thinking right

89. Y'know I'm always like making strats and stuff

90. When I get up in the morning sometimes I get like all like..

91. Philo- osophically on it y'know

92. You just gotta wonder like y'know

93. There's so many noobs in the world right and like

94. How many have I pwned?

95. I pwn noobs

96. You get the big smoked meat sandwich and it's only for pros

97. It's like a pro meal right

98. That's what I'm talking about right there

99. PWN-AGE

100. I don't have like any money or nothing but, I just like to get my micro up y'know..

101. Cause when I start winning tournaments right.. I can't waste time at the bank

102. Seems like y'know there's like.. there's a bunch of noobs here right

103. You'll get this a lot sometimes right

104. What happens is that people get all upset because China Inf is so overpowered right

105. You see these people over here man? Take a look at these people over here

106. I'm just gonna go over and let 'em know that really they just have to counter them with GLA Toxin right

107. Get some rebels, some quads and some rpgs to crack the shell right and it's no worries

108. So I'm just gonna go clear this up and I'll be right back

109. They're like 'hey man China Inf is like way overpowered'

110. It's totally ridiculous right

111. I think what they want.. what I think I'm getting at

112. is that they want the Inf army replaced by maybe a Tibetan army in the game?

113. You see here we got the admins right and the admins are totally on our side too right

114. They're just making sure that it doesn't get out of hand cause like

115. Y'know maybe people start talking foul language or something right

116. Then the admins.. they'll come in and close it down right

117. You just have a duty right.. as a pro gamer.. y'know you just gotta do what you do

118. it's like not really noobs fault that they're noobs right

119. they're just noobs

120. I like like dogs and stuff.. I kinda miss 'em cause they used to be in RA2

121. And I always thought that they should put 'em back in Gens and stuff and uhh

122. I was really good at micro'ing them

123. She's joined the protest against China Inf but she thinks dogs should put in and that would be a good counter and uhh

124. I think it's not a bad idea

125. Nice hottie walking her dog

126. She'd totally date me man

127. If she knew the skills I had y'know

128. She'd be all like.. she'd be like all over me right

129. I get that a lot though y'know

130. Like I don't like actually get anything but

131. If I'm like micro'ing on like 3 fronts right then..

132. Then they're gonna know right.. they're gonna know how that translates

133. She wants me

134. She's like following me now and stuff right

135. I get that a lot

136. Sometimes I just like to walk right.. just kinda like around

137. Cause like it just keeps you grounded right

138. Cause like sometimes if you're like playing in the clan wars right, and you win a whole bunch of games in a row right

139. You just kinda forget the little people sometimes

140. Y'know like not many noobs know this but like

141. When Westwood was designing RA2 right they would like

142. They would draw maps out in the sand right

143. So sometimes when I'm working on some strats or maybe a new build order or something

144. I'll like come to the sandbox too and draw it up in the sand.. kinda like Westwood

145. What are you doing?

146. - It's an establishment shot

147. Wh- what's a stablishment?

148. Dude.. what's a stablishment?

149. Is that like a.. like a camera thing?

150. Like I'm like a smart guy right

151. Y'know sometimes people ask me y'know like what's your religion and stuff

152. And I'm like 'y'know it's like RTS'

153. And they're like 'what's that?' and I'm like

154. Y'know it's kinda like Buddhism

155. Y'know some religions are all like 'get in there and kill people' right

156. They're kinda like first-person shooters right.. there just about getting in there are killing people and stuff

157. And then there's some religions that are just like 'y'know give us all your money and your time and stuff right'

158. So they're kinda like MMORPG's y'know.. not much there.. just like lots of money

159. I just think Buddhism is kinda like 'sit back and think a lot right'

160. So i'd say I'm a Buddhist.. yeah I'm a Buddhist

161. You still following me?

162. Kyle we've been filming me walk up and down this street dude for like 10 minutes

163. - No man I'm getting a good shot here hang on

164. I think noobs are gonna get the idea right.. i'm like walking

165. - No man this is like Travolta.. like Saturday Night Fever style

166. Travolta man..

167. Travolta's kinda like a noob though in that movie don't you think?

168. Y'know uhh.. that's pretty much what I've got to say

169. Gotta get to work now and gotta start pwning some noobs

170. Kinda feel myself noobifying already right.. kinda losing it so..

171. I'll boot up some Gens and uhh..

172. Y'know if you see me online maybe you'll be lucky enough to be pwned by me right

173. Y'know who knows?

174. Cause you gotta keep your skills up right