1. Ah, damn it!
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2. Ah!
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3. Ah!
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4. Ah, damn it!
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5. Hey, are you Jennifer?
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6. Do you need a ride?
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7. Let's go.
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8. Welcome to the Deuce hotel!
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9. Please enjoy your stay.
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10. Oh, are here
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11. for the festival?
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12. Well, uh, enjoy your room.
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13. Uh, the sink is really weird.
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14. It's gonna look
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15. like there's no faucet.
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16. But whenever you feel
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17. the need to brush your teeth
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18. or whatever, don't worry
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19. about it... it will happen.
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20. Free continental breakfast.
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21. And each room
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22. comes with a turntable.
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23. It's complimentary.
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24. Wanna listen to some records.
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25. Here's a Kenny Loggins record.
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26. There's only one song
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27. that's cool on it.
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28. Our gym is
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29. on the second floor.
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30. Anything you need.
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31. We've got books.
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32. They're not just for show.
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33. Like, we chose them.
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34. They're all like pretty real.
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35. Your room is, uh...
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36. Just feel it out.
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37. You know what I mean?
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38. Next.
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39. Whoa!
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40. "Echo echo," right?
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41. Yeah.
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42. I think you know
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43. a friend of mine.
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44. I guess, like, he might
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45. have taken a picture
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46. with you at some point?
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47. We're actually really tired.
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48. Me, too.
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49. Oh, I'm so tired.
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50. Hey, you know,
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51. we give out free typewriters.
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52. Yeah.
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53. Do you want one?
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54. Um.
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55. Um, we got.
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56. Yeah, no, you're right.
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57. You have laptops, right?
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58. Who even uses a typewriter
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59. anymore, right?
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60. It's so dumb.
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61. Yeah.
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62. If we could just
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63. get the room keys.
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64. Could you please not
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65. stare at me like that?
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66. Oh.
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67. Um, your room
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68. is not ready yet.
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69. But you can wait over there.
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70. Do you know when
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71. it will be ready?
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72. Uh, really soon.
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73. Uh, really soon.
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74. Rely soon... we promise.
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75. What are they doing?
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76. This is ridiculous.
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77. "The deuce."
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78. The douche.
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79. We have to sound check.
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80. What are we supposed to do?
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81. I don't know.
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82. They're talking about us.
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83. We've been here for hours.
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84. S-s-s-sucks.
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85. Right?
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86. Waiting around for what?
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87. Yeah, we don't have drinks.
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88. No one's offered us food.
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89. The costumer service
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90. in this place is awful.
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91. Really bad.
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92. Don't you want
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93. to run a business?
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94. I guess, apparently not.
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95. The man is
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96. running this place.
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97. It's just like a big, giant man
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98. putting his big hand around
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99. my neck, and he's just saying,
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100. "don't do what you want."
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101. That is it... I am done!
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102. Take that!
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103. Come on.
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104. Take that!
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105. Take that!
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106. Ahhh!
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107. Oh.
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108. That's illegal.
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109. That's illegal.
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110. I'm taking it back!
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111. I hate this place!
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112. This place sucks!
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113. So what?
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114. So what, right?
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115. Yes... yes!
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116. Hey?
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117. Did you guys do this?
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118. Maybe.
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119. You're fired.
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120. What... from this?
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121. You're fired.
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122. Get out!
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123. Wait, Bart.
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124. Do you wanna hang out?
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125. No.
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126. All right... come on in.
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127. Let's see your badge.
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128. Have a good time.
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129. All right.
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130. All right.
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131. That's great.
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132. Great.
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133. Excuse me.
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134. Where's your badge?
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135. Um, I'm, uh, playing tonight.
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136. What band are you in?
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137. Um, sparkle pony.
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138. Sparkle Tony.
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139. Um, sparkle pony.
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140. Carfalhonies.
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141. Sparkle pony.
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142. What's a skarkle coney?
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143. We don't have that.
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144. Are you part of
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145. the drag city thing
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146. that's going on tonight?
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147. You're not part of it?
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148. Then why are you here?
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149. Also, the show started already.
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150. What are you gonna do,
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151. sound check after the show?
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152. You just can't walk in here
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153. with your guitar case.
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154. You know how many people
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155. with guitar cases we have?
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156. Everyone has a guitar.
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157. I have one.
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158. It's just you and me
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159. in our wonderful place.
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160. No, they're sound checking.
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161. You're not opening for them.
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162. They have an opener.
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163. Hey, is salmon there?
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164. Wait, you're,
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165. like, in a band?
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166. What?
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167. You're not gonna be
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168. able to get in there.
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169. Like, if they're gonna
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170. let someone in
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171. it's gonna be me and Nikki.
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172. We're with the band.
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173. You know Sam's not really
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174. into girls like you.
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175. I mean, no offense,
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176. but, like, are you on the pill?
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177. Because, like, no guy
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178. would wanna get you pregnant.
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179. I bet your song sounds
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180. like a frog, like, croaking, and
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181. then, like, choking on, like...
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182. do you love me?
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183. It doesn't matter.
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184. I know you love me.
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185. I love you.
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186. Like named her
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187. band after a horse.
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188. All right, Jenna.
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189. Well, we are set.
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190. Would you care for some
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191. musical accompaniment
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192. while you want?
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193. Sure.
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194. Okay.
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195. Thank you.
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196. Hey.
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197. Check one two.
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198. Check.
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199. Check one.
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200. Uh, we're
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201. "the roving singles."
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202. Our roadie is,
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203. uh, not here today.
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204. This is called,
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205. uh, "tunnel vision."
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206. Jenna get your acupuncture...
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207. I'm sorry.
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208. I'm sorry, too.
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209. We're so sorry.
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210. It-it's just not
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211. working for me.
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212. I-I'm sorry.
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213. Oh... oh, I got you.
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214. I need to be able
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215. to relax and breathe.
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216. You paid for it, so we just...
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217. it's part of the ambiance.
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218. So this is called, uh,
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219. "border patrol."
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220. We had a show in winnipeg.
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221. That's when we
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222. were still together.
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223. We were seriously dating.
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224. First long term
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225. relationship for me.
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226. But then there's that thing
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227. where it just switches over,
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228. and, all of a sudden...
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229. She goes,
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230. "um, is there a reason
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231. "you're telling me about what
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232. "socks you're gonna wear?
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233. "Like where-where did we get...
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234. "how did we get here?"
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235. Are you guys gonna play?
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236. Yes.
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237. We are... this is the intro
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238. to the... it's the story
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239. of how the song got written.
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240. One, two, three, four.
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241. I can't stand it anymore!
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242. That-that's enough.
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243. Stop!
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244. I'm sorry?
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245. A little quieter.
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246. Absolutely.
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247. It's like every time you hit
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248. a-a high note, it-it just...
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249. it feels like it drives
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250. the needle right into my back.
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251. It hurts.
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252. This is called,
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253. uh, "puddle falls."
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254. Okay?
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255. Shhh.
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256. Fall asleep.
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257. Fall asleep.
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258. Fall asleep.
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259. She's sleeping.
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260. Hey, Jenna.
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261. Jenna.
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262. We want you
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263. to hear something.
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264. Jenna... sorry, sorry.
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265. Jenna.
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266. There's one more
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267. part to the song.
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268. Oh.
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269. Okay... okay.
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270. Stop!
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271. Oh, she left.
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272. Just, there's a...
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273. cds out there,
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274. and they're not labeled,
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275. but that has our music on it.
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276. They look like blank cds.
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277. Just make sure...
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278. get a magic marker
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279. at home and, uh, write
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280. "the roving singles" on it.
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281. Jenna?
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282. Hey, not without a pass.
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283. You can't go in without a pass.
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284. I'm, uh, playing tonight.
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285. We'll, I don't know
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286. that you're playing.
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287. So you can't go inside.
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288. Oh.
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289. You gotta call on Wednesday...
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290. Monday through Wednesday,
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291. you gotta call Roger.
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292. He's the manager.
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293. Roger?
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294. Call the ticket line and-and
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295. they'll connect you from there.
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296. But I can't let you in here.
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297. It's a private event, okay?
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298. I'm part of the festival.
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299. Hey, what's going on, man?
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300. I don't know anything
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301. about the festival.
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302. You can't go in.
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303. He didn't have a badge.
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304. It's none of your business,
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305. and it's not my business.
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306. That guy have a private event.
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307. I really wanted
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308. to sound check and get
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309. a good sound on my guitar...
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310. For the show.
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311. Oh, yeah, you play guitar?
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312. Yeah.
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313. I like guitar.
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314. I have a white guitar.
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315. I don't know
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316. anything about that,
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317. so you have to...
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318. when do other bands come in?
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319. Why ask me so many questions?
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320. I can't let you in.
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321. You know, someone tell me
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322. that when I was a little kid,
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323. I say, "yes, sir."
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324. Walking around and acting
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325. like a little kid, and-and,
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326. you know, that's unacceptable,
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327. you know.
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328. You have to be organized.
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329. Sparkle.
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330. My pony.
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331. This is like
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332. heavy rock venue, all right?
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333. All the kid shows
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334. and puppet shows,
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335. and all that is over there.
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336. That's on the other side...
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337. on burnside.
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338. You gotta go do that.
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339. Uh, thanks.
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340. Personal ad.
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341. Hmm, age?
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342. Thirty-three.
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343. No, thirty-two.
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344. They don't check, right?
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345. Early 30s with
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346. an adolescent spirit.
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347. Ha, ha.
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348. Who ever thought that I,
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349. Rebecca malloy, would be
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350. looking for love online.
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351. Isn't computer dating
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352. a realm usually reserved
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353. for girls who have to
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354. shave their inner thighs
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355. and wear pants all year long?
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356. Why me?
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357. Why haven't I found the one?
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358. I'm attractive.
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359. I mean, I don't stop traffic
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360. with my looks,
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361. but who would want to?
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362. That's distracting,
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363. dangerous even.
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364. I'm gonna check on the kids.
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365. My mom always said,
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366. "if you want something,
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367. "you have to send that energy
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368. "out to the universe."
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369. So here it goes, universe.
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370. I'm Rebecca malloy
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371. and I am taking applications
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372. for Mr. right.
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373. The kids are
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374. sleeping like angels.
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375. I found your ring
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376. in the bathroom.
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377. Hmm.
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378. Wayne, went to penn state,
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379. where he studied geology.
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380. But I don't want
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381. someone who studied rocks.
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382. I want a guy who is a rock.
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383. Oh, monty.
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384. I wonder if he knows
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385. he has food on his face.
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386. I wonder if I have
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387. food on my face.
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388. Ugh, I bet monty
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389. doesn't even floss.
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390. Sorry.
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391. Movies!
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392. My favorite.
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393. Is this a sign?
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394. My love life was going
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395. from a flop to a blockbuster.
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396. And just like that
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397. there he was.
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398. I wanted him
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399. with my entire being.
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400. It was fate... destiny.
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401. But in the back
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402. of my head there was a voice
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403. telling me not to go.
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404. Don't go.
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405. A voice trying to hold
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406. us back from being together.
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407. What the hell?
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408. What an annoying voice.
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409. Hey!
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410. Listen, I'm married.
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411. But you're just so real.
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412. Let's get outta here.
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413. When I close my eyes
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414. I see her standing there
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415. with her blood red lips
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416. and her long black hair
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417. I can't look away
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418. 'cause she's everywhere
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419. and I want her
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420. but does she care?
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421. Hi, I'm Gus van sant with
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422. the blunderbuss film festival.
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423. Keep your seats 'cause, uh,
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424. we're gonna have a "q" and "a"
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425. with the film makers.
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426. Are you guys here?
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427. Gus, right here.
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428. Hey.
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429. Anthony and Paul warnicker.
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430. Hey.
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431. Good to see ya.
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432. Thanks.
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433. So what - what
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434. was the inspiration
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435. behind your film,
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436. "looking for Mr. write"?
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437. What's a date?
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438. What the hell's a date anymore?
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439. What is the role of Americans?
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440. Like, what-what are we?
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441. You know what I mean,
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442. as-as a count...
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443. it's like who...
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444. what are Americans now?
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445. Is it the Norman-norm-normal,
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446. uh, rockwind painting?
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447. Uh, and-and-and
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448. you guys liked it, right?
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449. A lot?
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450. Uh, what did you
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451. shoot it on?
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452. Uh, we did a multi-hybrid of,
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453. uh, hd, 16 mill, and 8 mill.
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454. Uh, we tried to do some
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455. of it on black and white,
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456. and that got, uh, thrown out
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457. in the dumpster,
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458. but that's our secret.
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459. Excellent.
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460. And, um, you wanted
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461. to bring a friend up?
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462. Our principle on the film
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463. is, uh, franny Walker.
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464. And I just wanna say we-we...
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465. is she-she here?
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466. Franny.
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467. Hi!
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468. Huge round of...
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469. I mean, she killed it.
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470. What a genius.
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471. She was just unreal.
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472. My voice sounds so
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473. microphony when I'm on these.
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474. It's totally different for me.
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475. But, anyhow, it was...
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476. All right.
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477. Why don't you go sit down.
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478. Okay, got it.
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479. All right.
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480. Whoo.
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481. Any questions
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482. from the audience?
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483. Yeah, one more thing.
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484. Sorry.
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485. I just wanna say, too,
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486. our-our other whole thing
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487. about this movie
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488. is first dates suck!
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489. Ha, ha!
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490. Gus, to go back
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491. to your question,
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492. "what did we shoot
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493. "this movie on?"
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494. I don't like that question.
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495. We shot it on
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496. our hands and knees.
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497. We shot it with sores,
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498. with calluses.
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499. We shot it on faith.
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500. And, uh, and-and a lot
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501. of, uh, donuts and twinkies.
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502. I must have put on, uh,
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503. eight pounds on this,
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504. uh, this production.
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505. Uh...
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506. We ate lot.
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507. Uh, Gus?
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508. Where did Gus go?
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509. Gus?
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510. Bro?
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511. Hi.
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512. Um, I'm playing here tonight.
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513. What is your name?
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514. Sparkle pony.
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515. I am sorry,
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516. you are not on the list.
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517. Thanks.
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518. Oh, wait.
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519. Hey, you are on the list.
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520. You're not playing this venue,
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521. but you're playing the festival.
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522. Really?
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523. Yeah.
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524. Okay... okay.
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525. And, uh...
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526. What's the venue called?
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527. It's called "Alaska,"
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528. and it is on 21st and Reed.
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529. Okay.
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530. I haven't heard of it, but,
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531. uh, I'll go head over there.
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532. Sparkle pony,
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533. good luck to you.
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534. Thanks for
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535. all your help today.
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536. I love your barrettes.
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537. Thanks.
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538. Enjoy the day.
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539. It's beautiful out there.
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540. See you later.
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541. All right, bye.
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542. Bye.
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543. Here's your keys.
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544. You guys wanted three of them?
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545. We're having problems
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546. with the keys 100% of the time.
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547. So just, if you do,
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548. come back and we'll get you...
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549. try to make you a new one.
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550. Also, I don't know
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551. if this is for you,
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552. but we have, um, a pacifier.
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553. You-you're not...
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554. You're too old for that?
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555. It's complimentary.
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556. We have, um, a free phone.
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557. This connects...
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558. you'll see a little
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559. phone box under the bed,
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560. and, just, you can connect it
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561. according to the wires.
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562. Sir, our manager
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563. told us to hand this out.
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564. There's one of America's most
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565. wanted criminals in the area.
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566. She has pierced ears.
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567. So if you see her
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568. walking up and down the halls,
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569. just kind of go back
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570. in your room and lock the door.
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571. Yeah, and call
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572. the front desk with that phone.
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573. Dial 9-9-9-9 to get us.
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574. And then here's a map.
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575. This can show you where you
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576. can get good food and stuff.
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577. But there's nothing close.
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578. Get out.
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579. Leave... leave.
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580. Hi.
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581. I need, uh,
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582. one room, please.
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583. Cool.
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584. Cool.
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585. Very good.
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586. Yeah, cool.
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587. Cool, cool.
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588. That's awesome.
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589. You're staying here
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590. for a couple nights?
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591. Uh, just for one night.
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592. One night... okay, great.
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593. Great.
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594. So, I see you play guitar.
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595. Yeah.
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596. We like music a lot.
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597. Yeah, like big music fans.
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598. We know a lot
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599. of photographers.
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600. We know a lot of film makers.
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601. Uh-hmm... yeah.
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602. So, can we get
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603. your name please?
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604. Um, sparkle pony.
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605. Sparkle pony.
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606. Wait a second.
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607. I feel like I've totally
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608. read about you before.
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609. Really?
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610. Yeah.
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611. Welcome.
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612. We're actually from Portland.
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613. We don't usually...
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614. we're not usually up here.
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615. We've been hired to do this.
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616. Yeah, this-this is, like,
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617. a temporary gig for us, too.
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618. Uh, we should put her in
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619. the executive suite.
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620. Yeah, yeah.
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621. Okay.
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622. It's about a foot bigger.
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623. Wow.
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624. We got an ice bucket.
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625. Thank you.
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626. And, um, like,
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627. a tape recorder,
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628. and then some cassettes.
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629. Right.
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630. All right, you're set on that.
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631. And, uh...
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632. the bathroom
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633. has carpet in it.
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634. Oh.
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635. Thank-thank you.
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636. The carpet and the bath mat.
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637. We don't really give this
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638. to all the guests, but this
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639. is gonna add a little bit
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640. of mood lighting to your room.
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641. Thanks.
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642. Did you play at the fest?
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643. I didn't actually
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644. get to play, but who knows...
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645. what happened?
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646. It's a cool festival.
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647. Um, I guess
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648. I wasn't on the list.
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649. You're gonna go home
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650. without even playing a show?
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651. Wow.
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652. Anyway.
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653. What... screw that!
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654. Play here.
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655. Really?
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656. Yeah.
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657. Here?
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658. We don't even need
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659. the manager to do this.
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660. Pay attention.
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661. Uh, we're gonna have
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662. an impromptu show
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663. playing live music.
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664. Come on down.
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665. Okay.
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666. Hurry, you guys.
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667. You guys, come on.
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668. This is it.
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669. All right, play.
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670. No, it's okay.
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671. Go ahead... play your song.
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672. Sounds great.
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673. Sounds great.
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674. Cool
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675. perfect.
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676. Sorry... I gotta tune
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677. that up a little bit.
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678. Okay.
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679. Hold on... wait.
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680. Jenna you're so cruel
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681. Jenna you're so sweet
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682. Jenna get your acupuncture
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683. go get off your feet.
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