1. - Hi, I'm Bryce Shivers.
- Hi, I'm Lisa Eversman.
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2. And we put birds on things.
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3. And we put birds on things.
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4. Today, we're gonna
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5. go to a store
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6. on Mississippi Avenue.
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7. Nothing has birds on it,
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8. but you what we're gonna do?
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9. We're gonna put birds on things.
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10. Spruce it up.
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11. Make it pretty!
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12. Thank you.
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13. Put a bird on it.
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14. Putting a bird
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15. on this teapot.
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16. It's a bird!
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17. Betcha it's flying
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18. all over the beach.
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19. What a sad little tote bag.
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20. I know-
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21. I'll put a bird on it.
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22. Did you see this bag before?
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23. I didn't.
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24. Now there's a bird.
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25. It's flying.
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26. It's free!
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27. I'm gonna put this bird
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28. right on this card.
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29. It's so pretty.
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30. You like that, ma'am?
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31. It's fantastic.
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32. Making a bird on toast.
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33. Put a bird on it!
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34. Look at this.
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35. I just sewed this bird
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36. right onto the pillow.
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37. Oh, you missed a spot.
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38. Ow- what are you doing?
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39. Watch your fingernails.
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40. What about the bird?
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41. Am I bleeding?
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42. Ma'am, am I bleeding?
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43. No, you're fine.
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44. Stop looking at her.
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45. She's fine.
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46. I know she's fine.
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47. I'm not- put
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48. a
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49. bird
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50. on
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51. it.
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52. I'm painting a bird
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53. on a bird.
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54. Ahh!
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55. My eyes!
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56. Straight up got dust
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57. right in my eyes.
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58. Just paint the bird
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59. or whatever it is
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60. you need to do,
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61. and don't blow on things.
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62. Put a bird on it.
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63. There's birds everywhere,
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64. and now you can open
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65. for business.
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66. What the hell is that?
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67. Please go away?
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68. I'm allergic.
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69. Yeah- you're not wanted!
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70. Oh, gross!
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71. What is it
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72. that you call the mayor?
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73. Iu it, sir?
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74. Or maybe
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75. it's just laid back.
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76. It's just like, "hey, man."
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77. You know,
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78. 'cause he seems so cool.
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79. Right.
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80. Oh- whoa!
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81. That's like totally him.
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82. Fred and Carrie?
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83. The mayor will see you now.
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84. So?
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85. Psyched to meet you-
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86. you're like the coolest mayor
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87. we've ever had.
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88. Awesome.
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89. Thanks so much.
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90. Your office is so cool.
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91. Hmm...
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92. Isn't this awesome?
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93. Look at the awards
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94. you have.
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95. Yeah, and, oh, this is,
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96. uh, this is the latest one
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97. we just got.
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98. "Best official website
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99. "for cities with populations
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100. "under 700,000 in the
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101. "pacific northwest area."
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102. Congratulations.
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103. Yeah, thanks.
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104. Well, I had this one made,
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105. and I presented it to myself.
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106. Oh, you had it made?
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107. Yeah.
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108. You know, it's the best site
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109. out there, anyway- right?
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110. Seattle's is the worst.
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111. Oh, yeah.
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112. Yeah.
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113. Too many links.
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114. Oh, yeah,
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115. you don't want that.
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116. Bianca tells me
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117. you have an idea.
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118. All right,
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119. so we have this idea.
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120. Yeah.
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121. We're sort of
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122. former musicians.
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123. We've been in bands and stuff,
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124. and so we thought like,
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125. if we had a city holiday
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126. for Portland,
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127. and it's "bring your guitar
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128. "to school or work" day.
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129. Uh-hmm.
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130. Now, wait-wait-
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131. you said you're musicians,
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132. right?
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133. Yeah.
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134. Yeah.
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135. I've got a little project
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136. that I'm working on.
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137. It's really dear to my heart.
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138. I need to come up with
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139. a new theme song
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140. for a new ad campaign
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141. for Portland.
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142. This is where my head is
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143. right now.
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144. What do you guys think?
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145. You're musicians...
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146. You said you write music.
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147. I think you might be
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148. perfect for this.
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149. To-to write it-
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150. we would write it?
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151. Yeah, I want it
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152. to be about Portland.
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153. You know, all about
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154. the inspiration
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155. that you get from the city.
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156. We have Bridges,
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157. mountains, rivers, nature-
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158. all of that.
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159. All of that.
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160. Bicycles-
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161. all of that fits in.
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162. One word of warning?
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163. Please don't make it
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164. like Seattle.
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165. The space needle.
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166. Wooo!
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167. Like we've never seen
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168. that before.
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169. You got it.
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170. Okay.
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171. Wonderful!
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172. This is so good!
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173. I'm so glad you came in today.
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174. Yeah, all right.
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175. This is just perfect.
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176. You just made me
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177. the happiest mayor
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178. in the country.
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179. We work for you.
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180. Good, I'm gonna work on
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181. my core.
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182. All right, it's nice
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183. to meet you.
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184. So great to meet you.
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185. You're so cool.
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186. Oh, guys, guys, guys,
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187. this is like something
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188. that's really important to me.
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189. It's indigenous art.
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190. I don't know if it speaks
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191. to you musically?
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192. But, you know, use that.
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193. I think that is something
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194. that is really gonna make
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195. a difference in this music.
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196. Great- we'll just
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197. bring it back to you?
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198. And bring it back to me.
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199. Yeah- that'd be great.
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200. All right- you sold us.
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201. I love my artists.
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202. Sir, thank you.
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203. I support them.
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204. Thank you.
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205. Just one thing.
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206. Don't make it sound like
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207. it's coming from Seattle.
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208. Okay, you got it.
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209. Okay?
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210. Portland all the way.
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211. Go Portland!
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212. All right- thank you!
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213. Yay!
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214. Bicycle ride-
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215. bicycle rides!
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216. Bicycles rides- bicycle.
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217. On a bike- on a bike.
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218. Hi, I'm on a bike.
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219. You're gonna turn?
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220. You gotta tell me!
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221. Watch out!
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222. Bike-bike-bike!
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223. Oh, cars...
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224. Man, why?
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225. I don't have
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226. a driver's license.
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227. I don't need it.
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228. In a bike Lane here.
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229. I get this whole Lane.
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230. Ten feet rule!
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231. Oregon state law- ten feet.
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232. Hey, birds!
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233. Guys have little bikes?
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234. What you lookin' at?
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235. I dig that tribal look.
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236. I hope I get a sunburn.
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237. Hold up.
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238. I'm stopping.
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239. I'm stopped.
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240. That means I'm stopped.
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241. Pull your mirrors in.
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242. Slow down- let me go.
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243. Ah, lofts, why?
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244. Watch out.
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245. Hey- bike Lane.
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246. Bike Lane!
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247. Bicycle rides.
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248. Go vegan!
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249. Move, move, move!
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250. Move over a little bit.
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251. Got a better place to be?
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252. Move!
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253. Ow!
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254. Bicycle rides...
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255. Is anyone home?
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256. Stuart?
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257. St-stu?
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258. You home?
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259. Please don't be working
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260. at the co-op- please!
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261. So, this is our
new batch of books.
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262. I think we should just
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263. kind of go through it,
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264. and make sure that it's what
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265. we want in the store.
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266. Okay, great!
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267. "The new girl order."
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268. It's a top selling author.
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269. Do we want that in here?
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270. No, we want
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271. bottom selling authors.
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272. You want to see
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273. my impression of Donna?
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274. Okay, this is her
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275. filing things.
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276. "Oh, you wanted it today?
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277. "Oh, okay, well, let me just"-
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278. it's pretty good, right?
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279. No, it's horrible,
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280. horrible impersonation
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281. of Donna, and considering
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282. that that's your daughter-
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283. hi, welcome to
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284. "women and women first."
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285. Hi.
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286. Um, what happened
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287. to your pants?
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288. They're frayed.
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289. Um, the psu bookstore
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290. sent me here.
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291. I'm actually just like
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292. getting a bunch of books
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293. for class for my
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294. women's study's class.
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295. Do you have like
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296. a computer system
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297. where I can just look it up.
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298. No-no-
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299. we're that computer.
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300. We're the computer.
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301. Okay, um,
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302. "different daughters."
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303. "An owner's manual"-
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304. slow down.
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305. "Different daughters."
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306. We carry- if we-
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307. we can order that for you.
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308. It'll take a year to get here.
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309. It has to be written.
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310. And who's your teacher?
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311. Marilyn Kendall.
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312. Hmm...
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313. She's a little
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314. odd looking, isn't she?
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315. I guess.
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316. It's almost like
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317. they've made her eyes weird.
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318. They?
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319. Don't-don't you think?
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320. Who made her eyes weird?
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321. Goddesses.
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322. What's the name of
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323. the first book?
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324. "An owner's manual."
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325. Hold on a second.
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326. Wait...
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327. I'm not looking
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328. for your book.
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329. This is something else.
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330. This is employee's rules.
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331. Okay, well, I'm-
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332. this class you're taking?
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333. You don't need it.
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334. We have classes here.
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335. Abby Dee's queer question.
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336. What don't you take that?
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337. I have a pole dancing
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338. class that day.
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339. Excuse me?
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340. Pole dancing?
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341. You have- pole dancing?
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342. Exercise?
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343. We're about to freak out
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344. right now.
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345. We're about two seconds away
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346. from jumping up
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347. on this table, and kicking
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348. everything in sight,
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349. which by the way,
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350. is our own property.
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351. So, I guess
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352. I'll just go somewhere else.
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353. No-no-no.
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354. Let's find these books
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355. for you.
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356. I can do it myself.
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357. Oh, we don't want you
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358. to do anything by yourself.
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359. We'll help you.
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360. Are you in a rush?
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361. Yeah, actually,
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362. I kind of have to go.
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363. So...
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364. Can I do my impression
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365. of you?
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366. "Yeah, actually,
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367. "I've gotta go."
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368. Oh, that book's on my list.
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369. "Different daughters."
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370. Oh, can you- can you
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371. put that away, please?
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372. It's over there.
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373. Every time you point
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374. I see a penis.
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375. Oh, I can't reach it.
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376. We'll have to get it
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377. for you another time.
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378. It's right there.
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379. I can't reach it.
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380. Can you just get it.
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381. It's like honestly,
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382. it's right there.
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383. Let me show you.
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384. Let me show you.
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385. It's right there.
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386. At this time,
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387. we cannot get it for you.
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388. I can't reach it.
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389. You're touching it.
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390. Why are you doing that?
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391. I'm touching it,
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392. but it's not enough
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393. to pull it.
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394. I can rest my hand-
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395. what's wrong with your hand?
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396. This is my full extension.
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397. Okay, can I get it?
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398. It's not within reach
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399. so let's just- we'll move on.
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400. It's not within reach?
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401. No.
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402. Can't reach it- nope.
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403. Nope- I can't reach it.
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404. We can give you this book,
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405. we can give you this book,
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406. we can give you this book.
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407. I just need this book!
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408. We lost another one.
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409. Hey, it's Carrie,
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410. please leave a message.
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411. Hey, Carrie,
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412. uh, it's me.
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413. I'm I have some ideas
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414. for the, uh, Portland song.
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415. Tell what you think of this...
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416. Portland community college
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417. they sent me a reminder
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418. everyone was staring
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419. at the Halloween mask that-
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420. oh, okay,
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421. you get the basic idea
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422. though, right?
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423. Okay- call me back.
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424. Hey, Fred, it's Carrie.
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425. Uh, I liked your idea
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426. for a song- I had one.
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427. I thought we should
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428. sing about like
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429. people gathering around
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430. vegetables and fruits,
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431. and it's like...
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432. Community garden workshop
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433. teach me to rake and hoe-oh
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434. hey, ah, I was thinking
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435. something where
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436. a syncopated beat's kinda...
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437. Okay, bye.
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438. Hey, Fred, it's Carrie.
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439. I have another idea
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440. for the song.
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441. Native plants.
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442. Natives plants- oh.
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443. Hi.
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444. Hi.
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445. Short term parking
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446. long term parking
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447. and short term parking
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448. do you ever think about
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449. how Portland hasn't had like
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450. a national tragedy yet?
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451. The day the beer
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452. stopped flowin'
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453. attention-attention
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454. let me get your attention
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455. the people of Portland-
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456. ah-ha
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457. fruit carts
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458. so cheap
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459. fruit carts
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460. ha!
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461. Thank you.
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462. Professor says
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463. get an education
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464. he's right
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465. Professor says
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466. I'm gonna tell you
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467. what's right
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468. Portland
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469. we got it goin' on
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470. Anyway, um,
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471. I need to call you back.
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472. I am not
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473. I am not a business man
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474. and that's why
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475. I will stay
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476. in Portland Oregon
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477. okay, can you
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478. pick me up, please?
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479. Thank you- bye.
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480. Hi.
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481. Sorry, I'm late.
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482. That's okay.
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483. Everything sounds great.
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484. The Mayor's gonna love it.
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485. Absolutely.
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486. Dave, do you see
that dog over there?
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487. - Oh, yeah, what's the deal?
- Who does that?
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488. Who puts a dog outside?
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489. Does that belong
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490. to somebody?
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491. We gotta ask around.
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492. Yeah.
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493. Excuse me.
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494. Sir, is that your dog
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495. right there?
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496. Okay.
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497. Hey, guys-
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498. we're looking for
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499. a dog... owner.
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500. It like
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501. a white and brown dog.
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502. For real...
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503. We got an owner on the dog?
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504. Huh?
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505. There's an animal tied up
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506. to a piece of metal.
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507. I'm sure it wasn't
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508. born there.
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509. How can you guys
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510. just sit there eating.
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511. If the Titanic
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512. was sinking right there,
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513. would you just ignore it?
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514. While you guys are eating,
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515. I'll not be able to eat
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516. until this is resolved.
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517. Hi, have you seen this dog?
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518. Are you the owner?
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519. Have you seen this?
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520. Guys, come on!
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521. Hello!
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522. Is anybody listening?
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523. This dog will not be
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524. a bait dog in a fight ring.
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525. Baby, come on.
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526. Fine.
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527. It's okay.
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528. She's upset.
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529. Cath is upset.
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530. I'll tell you something.
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531. We want our ice tea
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532. and our orange juice
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533. just like you do.
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534. He fainted?
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535. Oh, poor thing.
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536. Where's the waitress.
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537. Hey-
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538. ma'am.
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539. I mean, we don't really
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540. carry dog food.
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541. Ah, what do you think of
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542. fried stuffed olives?
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543. A dog portion of it?
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544. I can tell right now,
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545. we're gonna want the meatballs
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546. braised with tomato.
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547. I want you to leave off
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548. the Rosemary.
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549. Ah, let's get these
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550. skillet mussels
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551. with drawn butter.
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552. Seared butter-
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553. are you getting all this?
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554. You aren't writing
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555. anything down.
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556. It's- I can remember it.
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557. Really?
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558. Yeah.
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559. What's the second thing
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560. we ordered?
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561. You ordered
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562. the braised meatballs.
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563. Gosh, she's good.
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564. Yeah, you're good.
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565. You're very good.
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566. You know what that dog
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567. would say right now
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568. to you guys
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569. if he could speak?
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570. He would say, "ruff"
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571. and "blah" and "rah-rah-rah."
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572. And ask some of the people
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573. who work in the kitchen,
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574. if-if this dog belongs to them.
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575. We don't really
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576. bring dogs to work.
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577. Well, maybe one of
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578. the dishwashers?
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579. You could say something like,
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580. Oh, I mean,
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581. they speak English.
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582. The dishwashers?
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583. Yeah.
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584. We speak Spanish.
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585. We like we travel a lot.
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586. Went to Ecuador.
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587. I am really, really sorry
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588. for what you're going through.
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589. Okay, please, set it down.
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590. Set it down immediately.
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591. Immediately!
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592. You know what?
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593. He doesn't like it.
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594. Take it away.
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595. This smells metallic to me.
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596. No, no, please.
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597. We don't want the water
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598. or anything.
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599. Dave, I'm freaking out.
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600. I'm freaking out!
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601. Calm down- calm down.
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602. Calm down.
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603. You know what we're gonna do?
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604. We're-we're gonna let him go.
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605. Let him go.
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606. Please?
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607. You're gonna have
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608. all kinds of experiences,
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609. and meet all kinds of dogs.
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610. There's some good paths
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611. out there.
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612. There's one path that goes
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613. right up the hillside.
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614. It's so pretty,
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615. you won't even believe it.
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616. And when you're thirsty,
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617. you can drink from
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618. any lake you want.
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619. Imagine the biggest lake
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620. in the whole world.
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621. The ocean.
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622. You can just drink
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623. the whole thing.
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624. Bye.
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625. You're free.
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626. Run it out, buddy.
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627. You're free, soldier.
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628. Where's Tucker?
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629. I don't know, sweetie?
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630. Hi, um, did you happen
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631. to see a dog?
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632. We did see a dog actually.
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633. You did?
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634. Okay, what-what,
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635. did you see where he went?
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636. He went that way?
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637. We-we had to let him go.
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638. Is this some kind of joke?
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639. No- who puts their dog
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640. on a pole like a stripper?
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641. Who does that?
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642. Everybody puts they're-
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643. wait a minute.
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644. Who are you people?
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645. We-we were just gone
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646. for a few minutes.
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647. Okay, how-
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648. a few minutes is like
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649. a month in dog years.
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650. Well, it's-it's,
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651. we went to get cookie-
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652. we took your dog
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653. off the pole
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654. 'cause it was choking.
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655. Now get out of my face.
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656. I wasn't in your face.
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657. Get out of her face, man.
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658. She was- listen, uh, hey,
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659. where-where you going?
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660. Did the right thing.
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661. I'm calling the cops.
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662. So tired of people.
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663. Hi, Jordan.
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664. No, Jordan, hey-
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665. no... crying's for girls.
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666. Quiet down-
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667. this is ridiculous.
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668. Let's go.
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669. No crying.
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670. We don't need to cry, jord.
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671. I'm not crying.
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672. Lance, um,
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673. that was kind of rough,
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674. and I feel like
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675. when we do this like,
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676. if I want you to stop,
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677. like maybe we should have
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678. like a safe word or something.
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679. You know what I mean?
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680. What you
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681. talkin' about?
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682. I, ah, just saying
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683. instead of saying "stop",
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684. I just say the word.
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685. Like what?
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686. Well, Lisa and Bryce
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687. have one.
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688. I know...
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689. Like...
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690. How about "cacao?"
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691. That's kind of
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692. a cool word, "cacao."
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693. Yeah.
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694. That's fine.
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695. Okay, so if I ever say
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696. "cacao," that means
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697. hold off and stop.
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698. Okay?
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699. I get it.
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700. It doesn't mean
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701. I don't love you,
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702. and it doesn't mean that
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703. I don't want to try things.
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704. Okay?
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705. I hope not.
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706. Be a brave girl for me?
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707. All right.
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708. Cacao.
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709. Sorry.
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710. Cacao.
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711. Cacao.
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712. Oh, row your boat.
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713. Oh!
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714. Cacao.
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715. Like Sophia
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716. wanted my birthday party
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717. at that hotel.
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718. Cacao.
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719. And I told everyone,
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720. "okay, you can show up
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721. "as long as you make a-"
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722. cacao-
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723. and my teacher- cacao-
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724. showed up, and he was like,
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725. "oh, you're different now."
Copy !req
726. And I was like, "yeah,
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727. "I'm different-" cacao.
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728. That's what happens to people
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729. like they get more mature.
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730. Cacao.
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731. There's no parking there.
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732. Cacao- but all they have
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733. is valet parking- cacao-
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734. and when he asked me
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735. to park cars- cacao-
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736. I'm like I'm not- cacao-
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737. I'm not, I'm not gonna-
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738. cacao.
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739. I'm not gonna park- cacao
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740. I'm not gonna-
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741. cacao.
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742. I'm sleeping.
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743. I was riding my harley
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744. the other day,
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745. and I went around this corner.
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746. There was this lady there.
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747. Watch splashed up on her.
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748. She got so wet.
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749. God, she was just
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750. dripping wet.
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751. Oh!
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752. Lance, Lance... wait.
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753. Cacao.
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754. I didn't even try anything.
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755. No, cacao to leaving.
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756. Cacao to not being
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757. in my life.
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758. Cacao to cacao.
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759. Come upstairs to bed.
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760. And this time no cacao.
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761. Cacao no more.
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762. Oh, thank you!
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763. Eh, that's song
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764. was called "cacao."
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765. This next song is called
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766. "vanilla."
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767. That's great news.
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768. So Tucker is safe and sound?
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769. Oh, thanks for the call.
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770. Okay.
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771. Ah, Mr. mayor.
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772. Hi.
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773. Hey!
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774. We have a song.
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775. Oh, my God!
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776. I'm so excited.
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777. This is good.
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778. Oh, uh, did you bring back
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779. the, uh, inspirational
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780. sand print?
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781. Uh, yeah.
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782. Yes, I did!
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783. Here you go.
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784. Good-good-good!
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785. Yes-yes!
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786. That's very important.
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787. This is so exciting.
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788. Well, we're pretty
Copy !req
789. psyched about it.
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790. We included everything.
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791. And the mix
Copy !req
792. is really good, too.
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793. We have this engineer
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794. like he really knows
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795. what he's doing, so...
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796. It's track one.
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797. Do I need to do anything
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798. with that or-
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799. it should just come up, right?
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800. Yeah.
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801. Is this a, um,
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802. cd-minus-r or cd-plus?
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803. I bought a cd-cd minus-r.
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804. Cd- oh, really?
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805. Yeah.
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806. Because one of them
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807. doesn't play on this computer.
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808. I can't remember
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809. which one it is.
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810. You know what we should do?
Copy !req
811. We should just get a cd-
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812. Sam, do we have a cd player?
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813. Let's just get a cd player.
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814. No cd player.
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815. Oh...
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816. You know what?
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817. I have it as an email.
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818. I have it.
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819. Oh, that would work.
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820. Do you have wifi here?
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821. Sam, do we have wifi?
Copy !req
822. Yes.
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823. What's the password?
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824. Ah, it's, ah,
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825. capital, c-I-t-y... "O"
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826. with a slash through it,
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827. "f," a dollar sign
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828. instead of an "s,"
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829. e- s-9-7-5-4-2-
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830. password's too long,
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831. we've got to change that.
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832. Fire wire over to me,
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833. and I fire wire over to this-
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834. what kind of cables
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835. do we have?
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836. Do we have fire wire?
Copy !req
837. Who's got the other side
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838. of this?
Copy !req
839. Who's got the other side-
Copy !req
840. you have it
Copy !req
841. on your computer.
Copy !req
842. Is there a way you can
Copy !req
843. get it from your computer
Copy !req
844. to the speakers?
Copy !req
845. That-that's what
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846. we're trying to do.
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847. Sam, do we have
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848. any headphones- anyone go on
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849. jet blue recently?
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850. Maybe they give you those
Copy !req
851. headphones for two bucks.
Copy !req
852. We should save those.
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853. If I could get these
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854. speakers out-
Copy !req
855. you know what,
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856. this adapter's not on.
Copy !req
857. Can you email me the file?
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858. Why not email it to him?
Copy !req
859. I can only send it
Copy !req
860. as a picture.
Copy !req
861. Oh, good.
Copy !req
862. Hey, your email
Copy !req
863. just came in.
Copy !req
864. Oh, perfect.
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865. It looks like
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866. it's got a virus.
Copy !req
867. What?
Copy !req
868. Shut down.
Copy !req
869. Close every window.
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870. You know what?
Copy !req
871. Donna has instruments here.
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872. We have a guitar.
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873. You just wanna play it live?
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874. I mean, I love live music.
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875. Sam, check with Donna.
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876. See if she's got that guitar
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877. in her office?
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878. That's perfect.
Copy !req
879. Thank you.
Copy !req
880. Drums...
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881. Ah, there was that marching
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882. band in here last week.
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883. That's the one I was thinking
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884. with the beavers.
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885. Oh, this is perfect.
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886. We're in business.
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887. What do we need?
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888. Plug in.
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889. Okay, so this is what
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890. the song sounds like.
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891. Ready?
Copy !req
892. Okay, count me up.
Copy !req
893. One-two-three-four.
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