Pluribus 1x8

1. You're back with us!

2. Manousos, can you hear us? How are you feeling?

3. Do you remember what happened to you?

4. You gave us quite a scare.

5. The good news is that the infection is responding to antibiotics.

6. However, you'll probably need to stay here awhile.

7. You have to regain your strength.

8. Manousos.

9. We understand this is a lot to process.

10. But you need more time to heal. Your body, it needs rest, it needs—

11. I am leaving.

12. What do I owe?

13. The bill! What do I owe?

14. You owe us nothing.

15. Not you.

16. The real people who were here before.

17. The hospital. Stitches, medicine. Everything costs something!

18. Before The Joining,

19. your treatments from this particular hospital would have cost...

20. $8,277.53 in either Balboas or American dollars.

21. Balboas?

22. I'm in Panama?

23. Will you be requiring an itemized receipt?

24. I, Manousos Oviedo, owe this hospital $8,277.53.

25. Plus one ambulance.

26. Please don't get up.

27. - Sorry. - Our pleasure.

28. Thanks.

29. Thank you.

30. Cheers.

31. It's not too sweet?

32. I always worry I don't add enough water.

33. - It's perfect. - Yeah?

34. 'Cause I can add more if you want. Water.

35. The O'Keeffe looks good in here.

36. I was about to return that.

37. We think it looks wonderful right there.

38. I was

39. just keeping it safe, really.

40. There's been a lot of animals roaming around here.

41. Wolves.

42. Buffalo. Buffalos.

43. And if they were to wander into the museums

44. and start rubbing up against the paintings, it's gonna be...

45. Yeah.

46. That could be problematic.

47. We can secure all those buildings if you like.

48. Great.

49. That would be great.

50. Don't want a buffalo eating the Mona Lisa.

51. I don't know what to talk about.

52. Who says we have to?

53. How about a board game?

54. - Seriously? - Could be fun.

55. All right.

56. So, what are we feeling?

57. Bananagrams?

58. No. That wouldn't be any fun.

59. You know all the words.

60. Chess. No.

61. Jesus, no.

62. Also, you're missing a white rook, remember?

63. But we can get you a new one.

64. What else we got?

65. Risk. World domination. That's hilarious.

66. Not sure why we even have that one.

67. What about the one you used to play with your cousins?

68. Too slow.

69. Are you letting me win? Or do you just suck at this?

70. Keep playing and you'll find out.

71. I have not thought about this game in years.

72. My nana had a blue deck and a red deck,

73. and she used to make us put 'em all back in the right boxes before we put 'em away.

74. Loser has to sort.

75. Would you like your cousin Henry to come visit?

76. You haven't seen him since Christmas 2005.

77. It would be exactly like talking to you, right?

78. Then, nah.

79. He didn't wanna see me these past 41 days, why bother now?

80. So why do they call it spit?

81. We don't know exactly.

82. What do you mean? You know everything.

83. - Right? Spit. - Uh-huh.

84. We know it originated in the UK during the '80s.

85. There's different theories as to who named it, but no clear answer.

86. Ready? Spit.

87. In 1986, a man named...

88. Wow.

89. It's like playing cards with fucking Google.

90. Is everyone back now?

91. Mostly. Another hour or two should do it.

92. Do you...

93. You think you guys could maybe power wash that up?

94. Absolutely.

95. Thanks.

96. Well, have a good night.

97. Carol, we can stick around if you like.

98. As long as you want.

99. What? No. No, no. I'm sure you have things to do.

100. And I've got, like, a bunch of chores, whatnot.

101. It just occurred to me,

102. I never even thought to ask you where you live.

103. There's no such thing as ownership anymore.

104. No private property.

105. Wherever we hang our hat is our home.

106. Right, but...

107. I mean, where do you sleep at night?

108. We can show you.

109. Everybody sleeps together?

110. Why?

111. It saves on electricity.

112. Natural gas.

113. It's more efficient to heat and cool one big room than hundreds of small ones.

114. This isn't gonna turn into the orgy scene at the end of that Matrix movie, is it?

115. Not unless you want it to.

116. We make use of spaces like this all over the world.

117. Malls, churches, convention centers.

118. Wait, this dog is not one of you, is it?

119. Definitely not.

120. Though he is a very good boy.

121. His name is Bear Jordan.

122. Hey. Hey, Bear.

123. Hey.

124. - I didn't realize you kept pets. - We don't.

125. But when an animal refuses to leave its former owner's side, we take care of them.

126. Bear is fond of Malcolm over there.

127. Would you like to stay with us tonight?

128. We can make you your own bed, if you'd like.

129. - No, no. - In private.

130. That's okay. I'm gonna head home.

131. Whatever makes you happy.

132. We can drive you. Or you're welcome to take our car.

133. I'll figure something out.

134. Do you mind if we lie down?

135. Please.

136. We had a wonderful time with you.

137. We're very happy to be back.

138. Yeah.

139. Would you like us to make you breakfast?

140. No, no. I can manage.

141. I had a nice time too.

142. Hard to beat this view.

143. Man, I love trains.

144. There's just something about the sound of a train horn, you know?

145. What about it?

146. Come on, I must've told some human being at some point that I love train horns.

147. I thought you knew everything about me.

148. Not this.

149. It is...

150. the loneliest sound in the world.

151. How do you do that?

152. Something to do with the body's electromagnetic field.

153. Our natural electric charge, so to speak.

154. You have one too, just unused.

155. So... like radio?

156. Sort of.

157. But radio transmission is like talking.

158. It's conscious.

159. Our communication is unconscious.

160. Homeostatic.

161. Like breathing.

162. So...

163. No. No.

164. There's still a lot we don't really understand.

165. Why do you still need trains anyway?

166. Food distribution.

167. Carol, you okay?

168. Yeah. I'm great.

169. Sorry. Carry on.

170. Does this feel good to you too?

171. Absolutely.

172. So...

173. Like... how?

174. I mean, I know you're getting a massage right now,

175. but technically it's you giving it to yourself.

176. Yes.

177. Meanwhile, you're simultaneously giving me a massage.

178. - So, I mean... - That's true.

179. How does that work?

180. Does everyone feel what you're feeling right now?

181. Is the whole world getting a massage?

182. No. Not exactly.

183. It's kind of like...

184. In the last ten minutes,

185. there's been 1,674 deaths and 965 births.

186. And...

187. Just as we said this, a man in Bulgaria was accidentally impaled on an iron fence.

188. Oh, Jesus.

189. It's okay.

190. We don't think he pierced anything vital.

191. To feel everything all at once would be unbearable.

192. But we know it as it happens.

193. We're aware.

194. Like we're aware that you just got goose bumps.

195. Having said all that,

196. this massage feels... good.

197. So, that's where it came from.

198. That's it.

199. Its star, anyway.

200. - Kepler-22. - Uh-huh.

201. And the planet, which you can't see, is Kepler-22b.

202. That's our name for it. We have no idea what they call it.

203. It's got a radius roughly twice that of Earth,

204. and we think their planet may be one enormous ocean.

205. Sometimes we close our eyes and try to picture it.

206. I'm not sure I'm looking in the right spot.

207. I mean, I see the...

208. the Swan, I think.

209. Do you see a star brighter than the others?

210. Yes.

211. That's Deneb.

212. Then if you trace a straight line up from the first section of wing,

213. you should see a tiny dot of light.

214. I can't tell one dot from the next.

215. There's a lot of light pollution coming from the city.

216. Let's see what we can do about that.

217. Wow.

218. Try it now.

219. We could place it in the center of the eyepiece for you.

220. Might make it easier for you to spot.

221. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

222. Yeah, I think I see it.

223. - I see it. - Yeah?

224. I do.

225. Yeah.

226. So, what are the people like on Kepler-22b?

227. We'll probably never learn the first thing about them.

228. They're too far away.

229. But we know we love them.

230. And we're grateful to them.

231. And we'll pay it forward, however long that may take.

232. What does that mean?

233. We have to share their gift.

234. With whoever else might be out there.

235. Just to be clear, out there, "out there"?

236. How exactly will you do that?

237. Can you do me a favor?

238. Hey.

239. Thanks. Thanks.

240. Our pleasure.

241. Does this mean what we think it means?

242. - What? - You're writing again?

243. Writing...

244. Wycaro. Yeah.

245. Yeah.

246. I had an idea and just started filling up the whiteboard,

247. and suddenly my marker ran dry.

248. So, yeah. I'm writing again.

249. Well, don't let us keep you.

250. We are just so excited to have something new to read.

251. And another Wycaro.

252. That's only if you want to share it with us, of course.

253. Absolutely no pressure.

254. Sure.

255. Happy writing, Carol.

256. That was good.

257. It was close.

258. Whoopee.

259. Don't patronize me.

260. I'm telling you.

261. I swear to God, when I was a kid, I used to crush this game.

262. We know.

263. Are you frickin' kidding me?

264. Jesus.

265. You told me you never played before.

266. Zosia's never played.

267. But we have the combined knowledge of every living croquet champion,

268. so that's, you know, a bit of an advantage.

269. Yeah. I get that with, like, chess or whatever,

270. but hitting a ball is muscle memory.

271. You guys all share that too?

272. Maybe. Or maybe you just suck.

273. We're doing that.

274. Okay. Okay.

275. Well, just for that, I'm gonna beat all seven billion of you.

276. Yep. So,

277. seven billion butts about to get kicked.

278. May we ask you a question?

279. Sure.

280. What was your best day writing?

281. No such thing.

282. Really?

283. Come on, you have other writers in there.

284. You should know. That's like asking,

285. "What's the most fun you ever had getting your teeth drilled?"

286. You poor, tortured artist.

287. By the way, it's still my turn.

288. Why are you asking?

289. This place has been closed for years.

290. I never thought I would be back here.

291. May we join you?

292. Please, please.

293. Thanks.

294. Would you tell us what you're feeling?

295. We'd be honored to share it with you.

296. Well...

297. It all started right here. As you obviously know.

298. I used to write longhand on yellow legal pads.

299. That I stole from my temp job.

300. I had like 20 of 'em, and I'd have to go back and forth, scratch stuff out.

301. The whole time, I'm just dreaming of saving up enough money for a laptop.

302. And then I'd rip the pages out,

303. clip them all together with this giant metal clip,

304. which I also stole,

305. which took both hands to pry it open

306. just enough that I could add a single page.

307. It would give me huge dents in my palms.

308. The whole thing was a fuckin' nightmare.

309. And there was this waitress, Bri.

310. I loved her. She kept my coffee topped off.

311. She never hassled me about hogging the booth all day long.

312. Oh, my God.

313. Take all the time you need, hon.

314. This place.

315. This place...

316. was my escape.

317. I was devastated when it...

318. it... Wait, it burned down.

319. You rebuilt it?

320. From... Wait. From nothing?

321. From an empty lot?

322. We did.

323. God, I miss those days.

324. Working all night, so I could write all morning, and then...

325. I mean, those were the best days.

326. Is everything okay?

327. Carol?

328. You left us kind of quickly today.

329. Is everything all right?

330. Yeah, peachy.

331. Sarcasm.

332. Yes.

333. You want a drink? You want a drink.

334. We'll have one if it pleases you.

335. "We."

336. "We think. We want."

337. Would it kill you to say "I"?

338. - Would it? - Of course not.

339. We...

340. I... find it odd, semantically,

341. but, of course, she could...

342. We c...

343. Wow.

344. All the brains in the world, and you can't navigate a fucking pronoun.

345. Is this why you're upset?

346. Where was that waitress living?

347. Bri.

348. On "Joining Day," back when she was she, not you.

349. Where was she?

350. Miami.

351. Working? Vacation?

352. Working. As a cosmetologist.

353. Recently married.

354. But not anymore.

355. So, she had moved on with her life, and then, what?

356. You dragged her back here to do a little playacting? Waitress theater?

357. Carol, we're not sure we understand what's troubling you.

358. Can you be more specific?

359. You are trying to distract me.

360. Knock me off course.

361. You rebuild my favorite diner,

362. you jump for joy when I tell you I'm writing again,

363. but it's all an act.

364. It's manipulative bullshit because you know I haven't given up.

365. Admit it.

366. Tell me you know I won't give up.

367. We know.

368. We wish you would.

369. But it's also true we love Wycaro.

370. All right, honesty.

371. Let's go for it. Cards on the table.

372. I like you.

373. You people. You... whatever.

374. You're...

375. There's a lot of things that I like about you,

376. but this?

377. This is a train wreck.

378. This is unsustainable.

379. It's mental illness. It's psychosis.

380. You are starving, and you can't even pick a goddamn apple off a tree?

381. I... How...

382. Someone has to put the world right, even if it means you all leave me again.

383. Even if it means that I'm...

384. - Morning. - Hey.

385. How long have you been awake?

386. Long enough.

387. Do you want to read chapter one?

388. Don't leave me hanging.

389. Raban...

390. is a woman now.

391. Long overdue.

392. But I figured, now, why not?

393. Makes sense.

394. So, are you going to just retcon it?

395. No need.

396. - It can happen canonically. - How?

397. The Font of Truth from the second book?

398. No.

399. No, that wouldn't work.

400. - No, yeah, you're right. - The Shapeshifters of Gollinbray.

401. I was thinking of the Caverns of—

402. - The Caverns of Aevalor. - Yeah.

403. - But weren't those lost to time? - Well, sure.

404. But what is time to someone like Raban?

405. They just have to get their hands on Captain Virgil's

406. - temporal compass and... - Temporal compass!

407. - Wow. - I thought about Lucasia

408. using the compass for

409. something, for the life of me I can't remember what,

410. but it just... it makes more sense for Raban.

411. Yeah.

412. So, you like it so far?

413. Carol.

414. We...

415. I love it.

416. Joe Pass on guitar.

417. Ray Brown holding it down on bass.

418. Mickey Roker on that blazing snare,

419. and of course, the incomparable Dizzy Gillespie on trumpet.

420. And now here's a real treat.

421. Miles Davis "All of You" on KHNM, 92.4 FM.

422. I hope you're making enough for both of us.

423. You're eating too.

424. You like omelets, right?

425. We do.

426. We love all breakfast food.

427. Sure. Sure.

428. But you... you.

429. Like lowercase "you"...

430. Does Zosia like omelets?

431. Zosia likes...

432. I like omelets.

433. Never had many chances to try them.

434. What is your favorite food?

435. Mango ice cream.

436. I love mango ice cream.

437. There was an old man in my neighborhood who sold it out of a little cart.

438. I would watch the ships leaving Gdańsk.

439. Brand new. First voyage.

440. I was maybe... ten years old?

441. And I was fascinated by these giant ships.

442. Who built them?

443. What for?

444. Where were they going?

445. And now I know.

446. Sometimes, the man with the cart

447. would hand out ice cream bars to us when he had too many to sell.

448. He knew we didn't have two coins to rub together.

449. It was just after the country had opened up,

450. and suddenly he had new flavors.

451. Mint, coffee, peach.

452. But mango,

453. that was my favorite.

454. Thank you for sharing that.

455. Zosia?

456. You're going to have a visitor.

457. Okay.

458. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.