Penn & Teller: Bull! 3x8

1. Penn, this is my partner, Teller.

2. We're the hosts of this show, and most of these shows,

3. he's had a real personal interest.

4. We drink bottled water, we're circumcised.

5. I'm fat.

6. I don't like to exercise.

7. And one of us used to date that bitch, Mother Teresa.

8. But today's show is a little bit different.

9. Tonight we're talking about hell.

10. And we know a lot of people care a lot about hair.

11. They're trying to grow more hair or get rid of hair.

12. Or if they don't have enough hair, they're trying to put fake hair on.

13. But I haven't lost any hair.

14. It's just full now. So there was a teenager.

15. I just wash it and tie it back or have Phyllis tie it back.

16. Of course, there's a lot of bullshit about hair.

17. But tell her and I, we just don't think about it very much.

18. Tell her. Tell her

19. the hair stuff is bullshit.

20. I find that.

21. Hair gets.

22. The love

23. of. You.

24. Every year, American spend $34 billion

25. on retail haircare products and 10 billion more in places like this.

26. There are more than 300,000 hair salons in the U.S.

27. and nearly 700,000 licensed hairdressers.

28. There are hundreds of hair styles and even more kinds of products.

29. Hair is one huge fucking business.

30. What's the big fucking deal

31. tonight?

32. Look at this hair hysteria from every facet.

33. We'll meet people

34. who sell some hair gadgets that promise more, and they can deliver.

35. Oh, people who take hair off.

36. Oh, good.

37. People who put hair back on a 60s folk singer.

38. I'm Arlo Guthrie.

39. A few hairy people.

40. Okay, that's just for laughs.

41. The greatest hair trick in the world.

42. A hair historian.

43. Every episode needs a smart guy.

44. We'll also meet a man who's fixated on his hair.

45. And we've got the biggest name in hair today.

46. Jose Eber, or at least the biggest name in hair in 1978.

47. Is there one big name in hair today?

48. This is Mike Davis from Houston, Texas.

49. Few people think more about their hair than he does.

50. I'm probably obsessed with my hair at this point because I'm losing it.

51. Over the last year, the loss has gotten much more rapid and much more progressive.

52. It makes me sad to know that I will,

53. one day be a bald man and old bald man.

54. Hey, Mike. Cheer up.

55. You're not alone.

56. According to the FDA, hair loss affects nearly 40 million men.

57. Bald can be cool.

58. Michael Jordan, Ving Rhames.

59. Scatman Crothers.

60. If only Mike were black and could act or play basketball.

61. Being bald is,

62. there.

63. There's a stigma attached to it, and there's,

64. esthetic attached to it that I'm not comfortable with.

65. And what's the stigma?

66. Hair is about two things.

67. It's about sex and power.

68. Some people equate baldness with weakness.

69. Who are those people? Strong guys with hair.

70. This is Steve Z.

71. That me?

72. He's a professor of history at West Virginia University,

73. and he specializes in the history of hair and hairdressers.

74. Seriously?

75. And he asked us to give him this haircut in exchange for our interview.

76. Being a professor of hair must not pay very well.

77. We asked him why men go bald.

78. Professor.

79. I don't really know why men get bald, but they seem to want to not be bald.

80. Okay, he was third choice on our list.

81. And so they turned to hair weaves and wigs and and,

82. the juice of monkey glands and all kinds of concoctions

83. to try and rub in their scalps and make the hair grow again,

84. which generally doesn't work.

85. If we'd known in advance he was going to say juice of monkey glands.

86. He would have been our first choice.

87. Man, this show delivers.

88. Anyway, professor, what's the purpose of hair?

89. The purpose of hair on the head seems to be to attract mate.

90. Seems purpose of, eyebrows.

91. I suppose it's to keep things from rolling into your eyes.

92. Suppose he's supposed to be our expert.

93. The purpose of pubic hair.

94. Probably.

95. It's for, sexual cues.

96. And the same, with, with underarm hair.

97. Okay. So much for hair historian.

98. But at least he said juice of monkey glands and pubic hair.

99. How about we talk to Josie Bear,

100. the world famous hairstylist to the stars.

101. Stars like Farrah, Cher and Liz Taylor.

102. I've always believed that there's beauty in every woman

103. and that it's up to us stylist to bring it out.

104. Josie charges 400 bucks for a haircut.

105. With prices like that, there's got to be bullshit here.

106. I mean, he's wearing a black hat.

107. He must be a bad guy.

108. Sorry, I'm jumping to conclusions.

109. Maybe he's open some doggies later.

110. Let's meet one of his clients.

111. They can't be happy dropping 400 bucks for Erica.

112. I come to the Jersey beer salon

113. because I feel a lot better about myself.

114. And I feel younger.

115. I feel like I look younger, and it's worth every penny.

116. Of very clever, happy customers.

117. Yeah, right.

118. What if we make fun of what you do, I mean, you can make fun of it, but I don't.

119. It's my business.

120. I love what I'm doing, so I won't ever put it down

121. and take it lightly and make fun of it.

122. Like Penn and Teller will probably.

123. Fuck.

124. That's no fun, Josie.

125. Cool people really fuck up our show.

126. Meanwhile, back in Houston, our friend Mike is still worried about his looks.

127. I wish hair was not so important.

128. I wish it was not as important in society.

129. I wish it was not as important in the way that we're.

130. We're judged with looks.

131. To fight his baldness. Mike took the drug.

132. What? What? Oh, I guess we can't say that.

133. But it's rather expensive.

134. And you have to continue to take it for it to work.

135. So I went online and I ordered two months worth of online

136. on one of the online pharmacies, and it was shipped from Mexico.

137. So Mike cut out that pesky

138. middleman is doctor and bought directly from a Mexican pharmacy.

139. Muy, muy bad idea.

140. So after the second month that I took the,

141. I started noticing a little difficulty in urination or,

142. you know, after I would go to the bathroom,

143. I would dribble a little bit more than what I was thought.

144. But I was in my mind, I thought, well, if I can grow hair,

145. I can get over this part. It's not a big deal.

146. A dribbling wiener.

147. Totally worth it.

148. A woman sees your hair long before she's close enough to smell urine, dribble.

149. During the third month of taking the Mexican,

150. I woke up one morning and had wet the bed.

151. I was in a huge puddle of piss.

152. Shit, I mean piss.

153. Maybe the drug you took lacked the juice of monkey glands.

154. But I decided to continue and a few days later

155. the same thing occurred and I thought, oh, this is just crazy.

156. I can't believe I've gone to this length to grow my hair.

157. But thankfully you did.

158. It's a great story for our show and what else really matters.

159. The morning routine.

160. Basically, it's it's toned down more so now than it was in the past.

161. I mean, basically it's one shampoo

162. which is a thickening shampoo with a conditioner.

163. Mike we'll take it from here.

164. Now, after the

165. shower, Mike first sprays some minoxidil into his hair

166. and he sprays it with some other shit, probably a juice of monkey glands,

167. then rubs in some thickening gel and mousses it real good.

168. Mousse it again,

169. wipes it all off,

170. but he brushes it

171. put, spraying it,

172. brushes it again.

173. And then he's done and done.

174. Other than people in the circus who hang by their hair in jungle.

175. How many jobs are there really require hair?

176. Okay, you tell me. Come on, lift me.

177. Lift. Get us some more guys in here.

178. Get the crew in here.

179. Let's make perfect.

180. Come on, you pussies, with me. Lift!

181. Okay. Don't lift me.

182. Go with me.

183. Don't stop with the lifting, okay? Oh.

184. The next place we're looking for bullshit was

185. at the offices of As Seen on tv.com.

186. You know, this is the stuff they sell on late night infomercials.

187. It's a pretty successful business.

188. Apparently, people awake at 2:00 am are agonizing about their hair.

189. Hare. Hare. Hare.

190. Everybody wants to do something with their hair.

191. Danfoss Arnault, CEO of As Seen on TV.com.

192. Dan agreed to our interview.

193. As long as you met him in this hotel conference room.

194. Something about not wanting a bunch of vans with the word

195. bullshit printed on the side of them, parked in front of his headquarters.

196. Scaredy cat I've seen on TV offers a wide range of products for hair.

197. everything from hair removal to hair trimming to hair

198. straightening and hair growth and hair additions.

199. And then at the half of it, they've got a mile of stuff.

200. things.

201. doohickeys.

202. plastic products primarily made by Third World laborers, as seen on TV.

203. You know, you never know what's going to come out for hair, but, you know,

204. thicker, longer, beautiful, better groomed hair is where it's at.

205. Especially if you got the rival hairstyle sold you to the company's pitchman.

206. He's going to pitch it for us.

207. People used to say, wives tale, that you're supposed to

208. brush your hair 100 times, so that way it keeps it nice and shiny.

209. Not everybody has enough time to brush it 100 times.

210. But with this or you're going to do is you're going to turn it on

211. and it's going to brush it for you.

212. And hey, we brush our hair and we like battery operated phallic hand toys.

213. All the way.

214. Oh, no. Stop the tape before anyone see.

215. Oh, I hope that one doesn't go on TV. Fuck.

216. Sorry, Saul.

217. Okay, maybe that wasn't fair.

218. They sell a lot of other things.

219. Maybe some of them actually work like this thing

220. endorsed by the porn star Jenna Jameson.

221. She sure seems trustworthy in her movies.

222. Sometimes it's not the hair on top, but it's the hair on the bottom

223. that you really want to take care of.

224. Well, this one is called Jenna Jameson Hot Trimmer.

225. It's for personal grooming.

226. How personal can it be?

227. Your company is as seen on TV.

228. Personal grooming.

229. We're among adults here.

230. You can say feminine snatch shaven bush, junior

231. prune in your book, or even kneading the beef curtains.

232. Any of those is fine.

233. Wow. Check it out.

234. The hot

235. trimmer comes with all these cool stencils too,

236. so you can become the Michelangelo of pubic hair.

237. This guy they dragged along for their office is going to demonstrate.

238. If we run, HBO would have gotten the guy and the pretty girl on the upside.

239. He can now add pubic hair model to his resume.

240. Fuck.

241. You think Disney really gave them rights for a pubic mouse?

242. What are you able to.

243. Remember?

244. You can only get these kind of results with Jenna's hot trauma.

245. Yup. With the beef curtain. Neener.

246. You can turn oral sex in a dinner and a show.

247. You getting. It? Moving on.

248. This is legendary folk singer Arlo Guthrie, I love him.

249. I was at Woodstock.

250. And he's going to enlighten us about the important relationship

251. between long hair and 1960s era radicalism.

252. Well, you know, back in the 60s, there was an established way of doing things.

253. And so people wanted to know who they were, apart

254. from the established way of doing things, apart from the establishment.

255. He got that right.

256. The establishment was responsible for gross civil rights violations

257. at a despicable police action.

258. And this asshole and these tallawahs fucks.

259. I go on forever. Not to think of it, I will.

260. And this jerk and these pricks and this son of a bitch.

261. And you were pissed off.

262. Your government had lied to you.

263. Your ideals have been trampled.

264. Your music was marginalized and your message of hope was called

265. unpatriotic. Fuck.

266. It was enough to make you not get a haircut for a long time.

267. There was enough of us who said, well, let's stop doing such idiotic stuff.

268. We don't need to go here. We don't need to build that.

269. We don't need to do this.

270. And one of the ways we looked a little different

271. was it just let our sort of natural selves be what they were.

272. So people started to run around naked and stuff

273. like that, or letting their hair grow long.

274. I wasn't one of the first category, by the way.

275. Yep. Back then, hair meant something,

276. but we wanted to know do people still get so worked up about hair?

277. To find out, we set up shop in this empty office and hired these two

278. actors, David and Julie, to play CEOs looking for a temporary receptionist.

279. We wanted to see how accepting people would be to a wide range of hairstyles

280. during a job interview.

281. The one setting where they're just not allowed to show how they really feel.

282. Could we get our interviewees to crack when they saw hair like this?

283. I think so.

284. So, And of course, you know, this is like, the most busy time of the year.

285. You know, it's like a totally hairy right now.

286. You do it.

287. Do you know Excel or Microsoft Word?

288. Yes. Your hair is like I mesmerized by it. It's just gorgeous.

289. Thank you.

290. It's like I wish I had, like, really long red curly hair.

291. Amazing.

292. to ease just a little bit of.

293. It's close to here.

294. We like these people.

295. We really had a job to offer.

296. Who cares about body hair and your boss?

297. But we're assholes. We couldn't let it in there.

298. What's going on?

299. I have, like, the worst cramps in my foot.

300. Excuse me.

301. Hairy legs and hobbit toes.

302. That's not a real hair, but. So what if it were?

303. These people are cool.

304. they must really want this job.

305. All right, what about this?

306. Well, do you know Excel and Microsoft Word?

307. Great.

308. These are really tolerant people. Are you.

309. What if hair brought to mind a lot of evil.

310. Would they crack then.

311. Oh, hey.

312. Oh. I'm sorry. You have somebody in here.

313. Oh that's okay. Mark.

314. This is hairy.

315. The thing is, the sky is the limit.

316. We are really taking off and we are going to the top.

317. Holy shit. What the fuck is wrong with these people?

318. He's Hitler.

319. we're starting in Europe now. Germany.

320. And then we're pushing into Poland. France?

321. The sky is the limit.

322. I mean, as far as I'm concerned.

323. World domination of accounting is is my goal.

324. Everybody kept their goal.

325. They were behaving exactly like you'd hope.

326. Was this really how they felt?

327. We'll tell you in just a little bit of a.

328. Well, people like our friend Mike are desperate for more hair.

329. Some folks want less.

330. And for that, you can either shave or go to a place like this.

331. Pink cheeks in Sherman Oaks, California.

332. They're the forefront of the modern waxing revolution.

333. When you wax hair, you take it out by the root,

334. and it takes six weeks to come back and it comes back finer and lighter.

335. This is Cindy Thorn.

336. She owns Pink Cheeks, the store, and maybe the things.

337. She's been waxing men and women for more than 20 years.

338. And waxing becomes necessary to a client

339. after they've experienced it, because they love the hygiene of it.

340. And intimately, it's wonderful.

341. And, hygienically, you can't beat it.

342. So waxing is cleaner and dirtier and cleaner

343. and and dirtier and cleaner

344. and dirtier.

345. I mean, we go in and out all crevices.

346. We open them up and we go in and, you know, wherever there's hair, we're there.

347. That's our motto.

348. That's a good motto, too. It rhymes.

349. Our motto is laughter. Your shit yourself.

350. Our motto sucks.

351. So here's our waxing works.

352. First, we need some hairy people.

353. We found Aaron, Adam and Michael through an ad on craigslist.org.

354. Next, they each got naked. Fuck!

355. The internet's fantastic.

356. I wonder if Michael gets much work as a pen lookalike.

357. Next, Cindy broke up a hot beeswax,

358. a wooden sticks, and the muslin rags.

359. We didn't move for today. Ron.

360. Save yourself.

361. Too late.

362. There.

363. Oh, no.

364. We could.

365. One. Two. Three.

366. Good.

367. Like that.

368. The girl.

369. Tighter. The skin.

370. The more thorough the pull.

371. I'm doing it.

372. But put a little glitter on you.

373. What usually surprises people is how fast it goes.

374. It's kind of like a shark.

375. And then it's done and they go.

376. Oh, that wasn't so bad.

377. once it's done, it's wonderful.

378. Well, one of them seems to be enjoying this.

379. We'll come back for more, I swear.

380. As we studied hairstyles for this episode.

381. One style above all.

382. The others kept grabbing our attention.

383. The comb over that

384. antique, gravitational physics defying eighth wonder of the world.

385. How the fuck do they do that?

386. Well, this is our good friend Johnny Thompson,

387. one of the world's top magicians.

388. He works with us on our stage show.

389. This is a hard way to do it.

390. It's called a bank shot.

391. Seem.

392. But Johnny's bottle cap trick isn't why he's here.

393. It's because he doesn't.

394. Even more baffling levitation with his hair.

395. Johnny, you see, has the greatest comb over in history.

396. I need a full head of hair.

397. And as you can see, I really don't have one.

398. And now,

399. ladies and gentlemen, from his bathroom in the shadow of the Las Vegas Strip.

400. Using only a hairbrush. Some hairspray.

401. A blow dryer, in this case, the brown headband.

402. The great Tom. Sony.

403. I cut my hair out of the way here a little bit so I can get the sand

404. away.

405. Well, I guess the comb over

406. don't look too good.

407. With your hair mousse.

408. So get everything the comb over.

409. And, I thought

410. you should.

411. Know.

412. Hairspray.

413. Works.

414. From time to time.

415. Care.

416. It's a fucking work of art. If.

417. Tell her I live a thousand years will never do a trick as great as that.

418. Now it's time to check back in with Mike.

419. He's thinking about hair replacement.

420. I am open to the idea of hair transplantation.

421. I'm curious about, again, about the risk of infection.

422. I'm curious about the cost.

423. We want to know about hair transplantation, too.

424. So we took Mike to see this guy.

425. Doctor Matt Leavitt, medical director and founder of medical hair restoration.

426. Nice poster.

427. I wonder if those are his real teeth. Yep.

428. So, doc, why do some guys go bald?

429. There is a hormone that is converted from testosterone.

430. that genetics allows to attach to hair.

431. Up here in the front and on the corners

432. and it causes the hair to shrink down and eventually be lost.

433. And it only affects hair on the top of your head, not the hair on your sides.

434. As you can see on this piece of birthday cake,

435. it's what.

436. The hell is.

437. before that, what we're doing is we're taking hair back here,

438. and we remove it actually in a very narrow strip and under a microscope,

439. or cutting that hair

440. into one, two and three hairs, which is how hair naturally grows.

441. And then we're making tiny, tiny little incisions, little punctures,

442. and we're putting the hair as close together as we can,

443. trying to duplicate nature.

444. And the doc isn't just the doc.

445. He's also a client.

446. If you take a look at my head, this is all transplants up here. Wow.

447. Okay.

448. Yet if you put your hand in here, it's not as dense is here or here.

449. But when people take a look at me, they don't go, you know, doc,

450. you know, a nice transplant or you're losing your hair.

451. It just looks like a natural head of hair.

452. It looks fine.

453. So should my go to your hair transplant doctor.

454. We're going to go in between and interdigital.

455. In between all these hairs.

456. Like here, you have more hair loss.

457. So we'll put a lot of hair like in this area digitally.

458. There must be some fancy medical term

459. where we can figure it out from context and the roots.

460. It means.

461. whatever I put on InterDigital, if I was to do his head

462. from the front to the back, it would probably cost about 70, five.

463. Hundred, 7500 bucks.

464. Oh, Mike's not this desperate, right?

465. But do you think you might actually do it? Absolutely.

466. Even to that ray gun behind Mike's head must be sucking out his brain.

467. In the meantime, our doohickey parade

468. as seen on TV continues.

469. Now. Cut your own hair.

470. Cut your family's hair in just a few minutes.

471. It's a personal, versatile hair cutting salon in the palm of your hand.

472. All you need is a vacuum cleaner and the flow.

473. And you have to go.

474. The vacuum

475. pulls your hair into the chamber, and it's cut by little teeth, so it sucks.

476. It's always being

477. offered at a very reasonable price of about 5995.

478. There you go.

479. It's a damn sight cheaper to suck hair off and stick it on.

480. We love this thing. Why?

481. Because if you're like this guy, you clearly don't give a shit how you look.

482. And that is true liberation.

483. Go with the flow.

484. The rest will follow him.

485. So look at these faces.

486. These are the people who are making a living from our vanity.

487. You'll meet this lady in a bit.

488. And then there's this asshole hole. Yes.

489. We've been setting it up for two and a half seasons.

490. Woo hoo!

491. Oh my goodness. We could go camping in that.

492. We kind of have nicknames for body parts because it makes people laugh.

493. It lightens them up. It makes them feel comfortable.

494. We call them vagina area hooter.

495. We call that a Larry, a wanker.

496. And I, I call it the winker because when they put hot wax on it,

497. it usually winks at me.

498. To me, pussy.

499. An asshole like cute enough had pink cheeks.

500. When they do this, it's called a Playboy.

501. When they get all the hair out of your ass, they call that a Brazilian?

502. Not if you're a Brazilian.

503. And have some idea why. Please write in.

504. Oh, and in Clude a photo of yourself and a daytime phone number.

505. You're set babe. You're done.

506. You're totally great.

507. Let's imagine you're looking for romance.

508. Someone who loves you is attractive and sexy and has a job shares your worldview.

509. Now, a lot of that you can find out on the web.

510. But once you meet face to face, is there any stupid a way

511. to pick them by looking at the hair?

512. Do you really want to miss out on her

513. because of this hair?

514. Does this hair make him less hunky?

515. If all you're looking at is the hair, you're

516. missing some major points.

517. Now, this is what you should be looking for.

518. Now we have a level

519. playing.

520. Now you know we want some credit for this.

521. We could have easily done this scene with editor and who cares?

522. You're just looking at nearly naked people anyway.

523. But we had to do it the hard way. We did it live.

524. We really did.

525. If you want some credit for that, how cool is this?

526. I should have done it with editing.

527. Back in Houston, our friend Mike is visiting

528. the office of Jackie Donovan, a 25 year licensed cosmetologist

529. and owner of Changing Images, one of Houston's finest toupee shops.

530. But don't say the T word.

531. There's no such thing as a toupee today.

532. Some people call it hairpiece.

533. I prefer a hair system or grafted hair.

534. As technology changes, we've become more sophisticated.

535. I'm not sure sophisticated is the word I'd use.

536. And just so you know, Jackie told us her rugs were a technology.

537. Eight other times.

538. Technology.

539. Technology technology technology technology technology.

540. You. Technology. The technology.

541. Okay, so why would anyone want a two part hair system?

542. Technology? It builds self-confidence.

543. When they leave with good head of hair, I can see a huge difference.

544. They hold their shoulders up, their head up.

545. I mean, it just makes a big difference in their self-esteem.

546. Them some big words.

547. Let's see if Mike's shoulders go up

548. for. Me.

549. You can run your hands through your hair and you.

550. Cannot tell it to. Do.

551. Show up.

552. Do you think Penn or Teller either one have artificial hair?

553. Or do you think that's actually their hair? What do you think?

554. I think the one with the ponytail is fake.

555. I resent that, Mike.

556. This is absolutely my own hair.

557. And I didn't have to wet the bed to get it.

558. Hey, he started one of my hands.

559. However, totally fake, and want to tell his

560. eyes.

561. Man, that is a hair system.

562. I'm really amazed at how I look.

563. It's it's.

564. I think it's taken years off my, My appearance.

565. It's really. It's a strange feeling to have a head full of hair.

566. Not only is it hair, it's a comedy prop.

567. Sort of.

568. Mike sniffs too much hairspray and decides to get one of his

569. ladies to, I mean, technology systems.

570. We take it off and throw it away every three months and give you a new one.

571. So you're so everything is always fresh and nice.

572. That program, it runs $1,250 down

573. $250 a month.

574. That includes two weeks of service.

575. I mean service every two weeks

576. and new hair every three months.

577. That's almost five grand a year.

578. I could not see myself wearing a rug.

579. There's no way. The ultimate.

580. At the end of the day,

581. I'm still miked. It's not going to really matter

582. if I've got a few extra strands of hair or not.

583. I just I just need to be who I am.

584. Don't tell me someone's going to learn something from this fucking episode.

585. Hey, we almost forgot.

586. Karen. Thank you.

587. You okay?

588. Back on our job interview are receptionist candidates.

589. We're still keeping their cool.

590. No way we are going to let them get away with that.

591. Julie. Oh, crap.

592. Could you just help Mike? Sure.

593. This is usually not part of the interview,

594. but if I just want to get that underneath and cover it up.

595. But yet. There.

596. Okay.

597. Better. Good. Good. Okay.

598. Oh, I don't want to say we got desperate, but the airport.

599. Yeah. Period.

600. I cannot find the Bates file anywhere.

601. I'm sorry. Do you have.

602. Did I? Oh, no.

603. Oh, no. Yes.

604. There's one other thing I got.

605. So they beat us fair and square.

606. We had to confess.

607. You're on television.

608. Excuse me.

609. This is actually Penn and Teller.

610. Bullshit.

611. You'll be on showtime.

612. Oh, God.

613. Oh, that's.

614. Oh my God.

615. What did our hidden camera experiment prove?

616. That was the worst.

617. If you got bad hair, no one is going to tell you.

618. At least not on a job interview.

619. I'm still looking for a job.

620. I just think in a free country, you ought to be free.

621. And part of being free means that

622. you give as much room to other people so they can be free.

623. And whether somebody has got short hair, medium hair, this hair, long hair, black

624. hair, blond hair, blue hair or whatever it is, spiky hair or an unspoken here.

625. I mean, people ought to be free to have some fun and try out

626. being different people

627. until you settle in on somebody that you're comfortable being.

628. So it seems like it isn't hair or hair products that are bullshit.

629. It's how we feel about ourselves and each other.

630. Be nice.

631. We can't all have great hair.

632. Don't hate us because we're beautiful.

633. Hate us because we're assholes.

634. Harry. Assholes.

635. Good night. Oh!