1. I'm Penn, and this is my partner, teller.Copy !req
2. Tonight's show demolishes one of the most
beloved myths of our culture.Copy !req
3. No, it's not the Loch Ness Monster.Copy !req
4. No, it's not the unicorn either.Copy !req
5. And no Bible bullshitters.Copy !req
6. It's not even Satan.Copy !req
7. Today we'll take a look
at a completely mythological creature,Copy !req
8. one that doesn't exist in.Copy !req
9. Probably never did.Copy !req
10. The traditional American family.Copy !req
11. It's all bullshit.Copy !req
12. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
13. Okay, okay.Copy !req
14. Okay.Copy !req
15. Have.Copy !req
16. Boo! Boo!Copy !req
17. Boo! You!Copy !req
18. Back.Copy !req
19. You. Boo!Copy !req
20. The face of the American family
is changing rapidly today.Copy !req
21. At some pointCopy !req
22. in their childhood, 1 in 2 children
will live in a single parent home.Copy !req
23. 1 in 3 children are born to unmarried
parents.Copy !req
24. There are 10 million single mothers.Copy !req
25. Nearly 10 million children live with gay,
lesbian or bisexual parents.Copy !req
26. Nearly 5 million couples who cohabit
without marrying,Copy !req
27. and one child that 25 lives
with neither parent.Copy !req
28. And these are real statistics.Copy !req
29. We didn't make any of them up. Honest.Copy !req
30. Tonight we're going to meet this
lesbian couple, this husband and wifeCopy !req
31. and their boyfriend and girlfriend,
a couple of radio deejays.Copy !req
32. A guy who says marriage isn't a salad bar.Copy !req
33. Marriage isn't a salad bar.Copy !req
34. Two really smart social scientists.Copy !req
35. A kickass college professor. And this guy.Copy !req
36. He says he can make gay guys straight,
but I don't think he's that unattractive.Copy !req
37. But tonight's episode of bullshit beginsCopy !req
38. with a true story about love, marriage,Copy !req
39. and family.Copy !req
40. Here in the land of new Jersey,
where children play in the streets,Copy !req
41. lives a very fit
and lovely psychotherapist.Copy !req
42. She lives in this new Jersey home with her
delightful husband.Copy !req
43. He's a bankruptcy lawyer.Copy !req
44. These two high school
sweethearts have two fabulous children.Copy !req
45. They are the perfect family,
but they're also more than that.Copy !req
46. After a good deal of discussion regarding
what was truly important in marriage,Copy !req
47. the psychotherapist began
sleeping with Julio.Copy !req
48. The bankruptcy lawyer was an outrage.Copy !req
49. No guns or crimes of passion for him.Copy !req
50. And he began sleeping with Amy.Copy !req
51. Not as revenge.Copy !req
52. Nothing bad.Copy !req
53. No secrets, no lies.Copy !req
54. No kidding.Copy !req
55. We'll get back to this love shack later.Copy !req
56. Like many things inCopy !req
57. America, marriage and family are changing.Copy !req
58. Well, it ain't what it used to be,
sister in the dark.Copy !req
59. Over quick.Copy !req
60. From this day forward.Copy !req
61. Until death do us part. Marriage.Copy !req
62. A declaration of love, honor
and commitment sanctioned by whateverCopy !req
63. God, your friends and vote hungry
politicians.Copy !req
64. We stand for institutions
like marriage and family,Copy !req
65. which are the foundations of our society.Copy !req
66. The question of marriage
and family is a questionCopy !req
67. that all of us should be concerned about.Copy !req
68. Even if we're not married.Copy !req
69. This is Brian Brown.Copy !req
70. He's the executive directorCopy !req
71. of the Family Institute of Connecticut,
a conservative political organization.Copy !req
72. And we're going for a ride uptown
to the world of traditional marriageCopy !req
73. and shitty art.Copy !req
74. Marriage isn't just a private contract.Copy !req
75. It creates a healthy community.Copy !req
76. It creates a healthy state.Copy !req
77. Here's a friend of Brian's.Copy !req
78. Or at least someone
he probably looks up to.Copy !req
79. He's another traditional family
sort of guy.Copy !req
80. A guy who claims to have never had sex
and definitely never raised kids.Copy !req
81. And yet,
because he believes the voices in his headCopy !req
82. are the words of some supreme being,
he thinks we should all do it his way.Copy !req
83. You beat us up.Copy !req
84. Sorry we don't speak Catholic.Copy !req
85. However, Brian Brown has his own
translation.Copy !req
86. Marriage is a public good.Copy !req
87. It is a public institution.Copy !req
88. Marriage helps all of us.Copy !req
89. And here's another guy with traditional
family values on the brain.Copy !req
90. He's Michael Medved,
and he's the host of a daily syndicatedCopy !req
91. radio show
that reaches millions of people.Copy !req
92. Radio people always want to get on TV.Copy !req
93. We encourage marriage
because it is the best wayCopy !req
94. to raise children, and it is essential
for the survival of our civilization.Copy !req
95. What? Another radio guy.Copy !req
96. Okay, here's Tom Lucas,
and he thinks, well, a bit differently.Copy !req
97. You are paying for use of a vagina.Copy !req
98. Shit.Copy !req
99. I just lost ten bucks to tell her
I said the Pope was going to be the firstCopy !req
100. to say vagina.Copy !req
101. I definitely think family is bullshit.Copy !req
102. Okay, Tom, now you do. In my lines.Copy !req
103. Let's back up a second.Copy !req
104. What was the last thing
our conservative stooge said?Copy !req
105. Marriage is a public good.Copy !req
106. By marriage,
he means traditional marriage.Copy !req
107. One man, one woman. What?Copy !req
108. Why is that a public good?Copy !req
109. Mothers, nurse.Copy !req
110. Children?Copy !req
111. fathers traditionally have, providedCopy !req
112. for their children
through hunting, gathering, farming.Copy !req
113. yes. The caveman argument.Copy !req
114. We've all heard this one.Copy !req
115. Traditional families
go back to Fred Flintstone times.Copy !req
116. It's the natural instinct,
blah blah blah blah blah.Copy !req
117. There's just one problem.Copy !req
118. There's no such thing
as a traditional family.Copy !req
119. Families have taken every shape
imaginable, throughout history.Copy !req
120. This is Stephanie Coontz.Copy !req
121. She's an author and professor of historyCopy !req
122. and family studies
of the Evergreen State College.Copy !req
123. If she ever watched The Flintstones,
she didn't like it.Copy !req
124. The most common marriage form in history
was one man and many women.Copy !req
125. Kind of like Fred with Wilma.Copy !req
126. Betty. And, what is Mr.Copy !req
127. Slate's wife's name?Copy !req
128. Marriage has been constantly
changing the idea of one man,Copy !req
129. one woman nuclear family.Copy !req
130. That's a pretty rare family
form in history.Copy !req
131. Marriage isn't a salad bar. Salad bar?Copy !req
132. I wouldn't marry any salad bar
unless that had pudding.Copy !req
133. Metaphorically speaking, he's right.Copy !req
134. But not in the way he intended.Copy !req
135. In traditional marriage,Copy !req
136. you didn't get to pick and choose
what you thought you'd like.Copy !req
137. You sat down, serve the bride by people
who felt they knew better than you.Copy !req
138. Marriage was about,Copy !req
139. pleasing the parents and grandparents
so that the people whoCopy !req
140. married had very little choice in it,
because it was a family alliance.Copy !req
141. Throughout most of history,Copy !req
142. marriage was about creating family bonds,
protecting land and wealth.Copy !req
143. Brian Brown is a degree from Oxford
and is a grad student in history at UCLA.Copy !req
144. Has he been asleep at his desk
or is he knowingly talking bullshit?Copy !req
145. The idea that we've concocted the family,
this is an idea thrown out by peopleCopy !req
146. that don't see the family
as particularly useful,Copy !req
147. and so want to create an alternative
history to buttress their claims.Copy !req
148. Maybe someone should make a confession.Copy !req
149. I'm going to make a confession here.Copy !req
150. Okay.Copy !req
151. Sound bite time.Copy !req
152. I live in a place
called the United States of America.Copy !req
153. That's
real institutions and a real history.Copy !req
154. And the family structure
that most people would viewCopy !req
155. as traditional has been enshrined
in American traditions for a long time.Copy !req
156. Enshrined even in Michael Medved America.Copy !req
157. 50% of marriages fail.Copy !req
158. We're going to needCopy !req
159. a new set of dictionaries because ours
has two possible meanings for the wordCopy !req
160. enshrined, neither of which is fucks up
half the time.Copy !req
161. Well, the thing that we used to think of
as the traditional family,Copy !req
162. the Ozzie and Harriet family,
was actually a TV sitcom.Copy !req
163. It was not a documentary.Copy !req
164. Ozzie and Harriet was postwar idealizedCopy !req
165. propaganda and a shitty TV show.Copy !req
166. Ozzie
and Harriet were no more real than Mr.Copy !req
167. Red, the fucking talking horse.Copy !req
168. I dream of fucking Jeannie.Copy !req
169. Although I did have many dreams
about fucking Barbara Eden.Copy !req
170. I did a lot of lamp rubbing.Copy !req
171. ThereCopy !req
172. has been no society ever in history
that was ableCopy !req
173. to have a stable marriage system
based on the notion of romantic love.Copy !req
174. I'm Judith Stacey, professor of sociology
at New York UniversityCopy !req
175. and a founding member of the Council
on Contemporary Families.Copy !req
176. Historically, romantic love
wasn't ever between married couples.Copy !req
177. So the real tradition is to have lovers
other than your spouse.Copy !req
178. But today, marriage has been redefinedCopy !req
179. by people like this asshole.Copy !req
180. When you get married, you tradeCopy !req
181. adventure and excitementCopy !req
182. and, the lure of the newCopy !req
183. for stability and predictability and love.Copy !req
184. And one hopes a little bit of sweetness
and and sharing.Copy !req
185. He's a hell of a salesman, isn't he?Copy !req
186. I sure didn't trade any excitement
and adventure in my marriage,Copy !req
187. and I didn't have to hope in vain
for sweetness and sharing.Copy !req
188. marriage teaches and emphasizesCopy !req
189. and shapes
people in the direction of those qualitiesCopy !req
190. most necessary
for civilization to flourish.Copy !req
191. Chief among those qualities
would be deferred gratification.Copy !req
192. I get your deferred gratification.Copy !req
193. Hanging my dead.Copy !req
194. I had a guy call me yesterday.Copy !req
195. He has two kids.Copy !req
196. He's been living with a woman
for eight yearsCopy !req
197. and he's thinking about getting married.Copy !req
198. Why would he want to do that?Copy !req
199. Time like this is against marriage,
and he's real subtle about it.Copy !req
200. He's not going to.Copy !req
201. Get anything by marrying her
that he doesn't already have.Copy !req
202. Companionship is. Kids are near him.Copy !req
203. Why get married like his tells guys
not to get married?Copy !req
204. He must not be listening to his own show.Copy !req
205. He's been married four times
and been through four divorces.Copy !req
206. To him, marriage is strictly a financial
arrangement and a bad one if you're a man.Copy !req
207. It is just like.Copy !req
208. Forming a corporation with some chick
who's a hot piece of ass.Copy !req
209. And now she owns 50% of the corporation.Copy !req
210. And so to you, 50% yesterday
you owned 100% of your corporation, right?Copy !req
211. And what happens to these guys
when their corporation goes belly up?Copy !req
212. You will take half of everything you own,
plus a check every month,Copy !req
213. and you're going to email it to her.Copy !req
214. Does that sound like a good deal
for a man?Copy !req
215. It's not.Copy !req
216. But that's not the only deal in town.Copy !req
217. Which brings us back to this new Jersey
love shack.Copy !req
218. Why do we assume that we only have
a certain kind of loveCopy !req
219. for one person, and that we love
somebody else, or you're sexual with them,Copy !req
220. that there's something dangerous
or wrong about that?Copy !req
221. John and Nancy's what a rap.Copy !req
222. She married for 24 years.Copy !req
223. Raise two cool kids, have good jobs,
nice home, minivan,Copy !req
224. pay taxes,
and they're evil polyamorous bastards.Copy !req
225. Clearly a threat to society.Copy !req
226. Probably dog rippers too.Copy !req
227. Julio and Amy are the sleazy duo that
infiltrated this happily married couple.Copy !req
228. And they don't just fuck,
they steal croutons.Copy !req
229. In the beginning, it was very difficult
for me because I was raised a Catholic.Copy !req
230. And then at one point,
I was a born again Christian.Copy !req
231. So the the whole structure of traditional
thought was weighing on me,Copy !req
232. that I was an evil person for thinking
these thoughts, not even acting.Copy !req
233. I'm just thinking. Them. What about Amy?Copy !req
234. When I found out that John was married,
I thought, what a cool way to live.Copy !req
235. They don't have any artificial limits
on who they can get close to.Copy !req
236. Okay,
so they're not drooling sex perverts.Copy !req
237. Let's ask John Wise.Copy !req
238. Why share your wife with another man?Copy !req
239. I think there is a risk in monogamyCopy !req
240. of becoming over
demanding of one's partner.Copy !req
241. It is very, very difficult toCopy !req
242. to satisfy all the needs of another person
all the time.Copy !req
243. We don't really knowCopy !req
244. jack shit about people, but other primates
sure aren't built for monogamy.Copy !req
245. Watch some chimps next time
you're on safari, or hang out of the zooCopy !req
246. for a few days straightCopy !req
247. before they throw you out for some weird,
obsessive monkey fascination.Copy !req
248. You'll notice a simple fact
they all fuck each other.Copy !req
249. It's mother nature.Copy !req
250. They won't tell you that on the zoo tour.Copy !req
251. But it's true.Copy !req
252. And here's the thing.Copy !req
253. Nobody seems to care.Copy !req
254. But for BrianCopy !req
255. Brown, Mother Nature is a sleazy bitch
who doesn't know shit.Copy !req
256. He knows better.Copy !req
257. Any deviation from the mother father
family model that we have been ableCopy !req
258. to study shows less well.Copy !req
259. Outcomes for children.Copy !req
260. Less well outcomes.Copy !req
261. Prove it.Copy !req
262. The odds are better for a child
growing up in a stable two parent familyCopy !req
263. for that child to avoid criminal activity
or a criminal record,Copy !req
264. to avoid poverty, to avoid welfareCopy !req
265. dependency, to avoid drug use, suicide,
and other sorts of outcomesCopy !req
266. that most people would agree
are undesirable.Copy !req
267. I can't reiterate that enough.Copy !req
268. It's one of the few things
that most social scientists agree on.Copy !req
269. Actually, girls,
you couldn't be more wrong.Copy !req
270. Social scientists
don't seem to agree with you on anything.Copy !req
271. We know what the causes of crime are.Copy !req
272. They are bad parenting, often
authoritarian parenting.Copy !req
273. And you find that very often in male
headed homes.Copy !req
274. Poverty and unemployment,Copy !req
275. on the part of men, is a bigger predictor
of, children'sCopy !req
276. ultimate success
than any other factor, certainly than one,Copy !req
277. whether they have single parents
or married couple parents.Copy !req
278. The most frequent question
we get asked aboutCopy !req
279. this show is why would assholes
like Brian Brown and Michael MedvedCopy !req
280. come on a show called bullshit
to get called asshole?Copy !req
281. We do not lie to them.Copy !req
282. We make sure they know all about the show.Copy !req
283. We give them copies of past shows,
and it's always pretty clearCopy !req
284. which side of the issue
we're going to be on.Copy !req
285. The long answer is that people who
come on this showCopy !req
286. generally consider themselves
to be bulletproof.Copy !req
287. Most never talk to anyone
with a dissenting view,Copy !req
288. and certainly no one
with a real research team like ours.Copy !req
289. If you say something on our show,
we check it.Copy !req
290. If you lie or make something up, we know.Copy !req
291. But we're fair
and we never take people out of context.Copy !req
292. We're biased is all fuck,
but we try to be honest.Copy !req
293. Now that's the long answer.Copy !req
294. The short answer isCopy !req
295. we. Look.Copy !req
296. It's a Yeti.Copy !req
297. Yeah, this is Richard Cohen.Copy !req
298. These almost as unbelievable as a Yeti.Copy !req
299. I am the director
of the International Healing FoundationCopy !req
300. and a professional psychotherapist
over the last 15 years.Copy !req
301. Psycho therapist.Copy !req
302. I help men and women who have unwanted
same sex attractionCopy !req
303. achieve their goal and their dreamCopy !req
304. to realize their heterosexual potential.Copy !req
305. In short, Cohen,
what fixes fags and legitimizes lesbians?Copy !req
306. you can call me Richard.Copy !req
307. We prefer Dick.Copy !req
308. And if his evil plan works,
he'll single handedly crush the ratingsCopy !req
309. for Will and Grace.Copy !req
310. And you can go to his website,
gay two straight.org,Copy !req
311. or read all about his book
coming out straight.Copy !req
312. Coming Out Straight is published
in four languages now.Copy !req
313. All right.Copy !req
314. English.Copy !req
315. Bullshit ish.Copy !req
316. Japanese and French.Copy !req
317. So how does he pull off this trick?Copy !req
318. Is it smoke and mirrors?Copy !req
319. Does he have a loud mouth?Copy !req
320. Guy in a ponytail distract you? Nope.Copy !req
321. Dick explains.Copy !req
322. In my 15 years as a therapist,
I've helped hundreds of men,Copy !req
323. and women come out of homosexuality
and fulfill their dream.Copy !req
324. For a family,
that means a husband and a wife and kids.Copy !req
325. Yep. Dick counsels men like Lee here
to renounce their homosexuality.Copy !req
326. Because for Dick, any other lifestyle
than the traditional heterosexual familyCopy !req
327. is, well. Dick.Copy !req
328. so myCopy !req
329. personal belief is the ideal
is mom and dadCopy !req
330. representing healthy, feminine
and healthy healthy masculine.Copy !req
331. And that makes the child feel secure.Copy !req
332. And it gives them two wonderful
role models.Copy !req
333. And that's the beauty of family.Copy !req
334. And we thought the beauty of family
was unconditional love.Copy !req
335. What the fuck do we know?Copy !req
336. Tell her.Copy !req
337. Knock it off.Copy !req
338. Here's some very cute,
happy kids in San Francisco.Copy !req
339. This is their loving mother, Audrey.Copy !req
340. And this is their loving mother, Jada.Copy !req
341. And clearly, they don't know Dick.Copy !req
342. Gabe is a naturalist at a regional park,
and Audrey is an obstetrician.Copy !req
343. They've been a couple for 23 years
to have their children.Copy !req
344. Audrey was artificially inseminated
with sperm donated by Gator's brother.Copy !req
345. They clearly need a man
in their household.Copy !req
346. A little more than a fish.Copy !req
347. Needs a bicycle to that basketball hoop.Copy !req
348. It isn't anywhere near regulation height.Copy !req
349. I really find the raising of children
for usCopy !req
350. to be, mirrored with other people
we know,Copy !req
351. whether they're straight couples
or lesbian or gay families or.Copy !req
352. Well,
I think parenting is pretty much the same.Copy !req
353. I mean, parents are parents.Copy !req
354. According to the U.S.Copy !req
355. census, one third of lesbian couples
are raising children,Copy !req
356. and so are one fifth of gay male couples.Copy !req
357. I don't think that there's much leeway
in the literally thousands of studiesCopy !req
358. that we have show, showing that children
do best with both a mom and a dad.Copy !req
359. To say no, that's absolutely wrong.Copy !req
360. I mean, someone that's saying this is,Copy !req
361. is being motivated by their ideology
and not by the science.Copy !req
362. These two moms aren't ruining their kids
lives.Copy !req
363. They're watching them draw pictures,Copy !req
364. helping them with their homework,
reading to them.Copy !req
365. Now they're rinsing lettuce,
not all straight parents rinse lettuce.Copy !req
366. Marriage isn't a salad bar. Oh, shut up.Copy !req
367. The emperor's rather mean about it.Copy !req
368. Kids need certain things.Copy !req
369. they need a loving, supportive
environment to grow and develop.Copy !req
370. And so it's the same business
of trying to raiseCopy !req
371. your children to do the right thing
and teach them about the world. AndCopy !req
372. get them toCopy !req
373. soccer practice
and get them to do their homework.Copy !req
374. Eight plus eight, 16.Copy !req
375. And we're two parents providing that.Copy !req
376. Sure, these two seem like good parents,
but maybe we just got luckyCopy !req
377. and found the one stable
same sex couple on the planet.Copy !req
378. They certainly don't approve.Copy !req
379. Same sex couples make good parents.Copy !req
380. What is proof in social science?Copy !req
381. Because homosexual parenting
is such a new phenomenon,Copy !req
382. we do not have longitudinal studies
with large groups to look at.Copy !req
383. They just don't exist.Copy !req
384. Brian Brown is completely inaccurate
in making a statementCopy !req
385. that longitudinal studies
of lesbian families don't exist.Copy !req
386. Ouch. Cut his dick off, why don't you?Copy !req
387. This is Nannette Gar Tyrrell.Copy !req
388. She's a doctor.Copy !req
389. Professor of psychiatry at UC
San Francisco.Copy !req
390. And she's here to chew gum and kick ass.Copy !req
391. And she's all out of gum.Copy !req
392. I have, an enormously,Copy !req
393. well founded, long term study
that has been going on for 18 years.Copy !req
394. And there are studies in Europe as well.Copy !req
395. the papers have been published, and,
all I can sayCopy !req
396. is that Brian Brown is not doing
his research.Copy !req
397. Did you have Spanish today?Copy !req
398. So what if Adrian Gay does
seem to be doing a fine job?Copy !req
399. What about the idea
that they're going to raise gay kids?Copy !req
400. Isn't that what the busybody don't?
Dunwoody?Copy !req
401. Homework fact making up
tell you how to live.Copy !req
402. Marriage experts are really afraid of.Copy !req
403. What we know from the studies of children
who are older,Copy !req
404. who were raised by lesbian moms
or gay dads.Copy !req
405. Is that the incidence of,
those children becomingCopy !req
406. lesbian or gay is no different
from the population in general.Copy !req
407. I know we're such assholes using scienceCopy !req
408. and fact to prove our point,
especially when it isn't a science issue.Copy !req
409. It's none of our business who
and why you fuck or marry or both.Copy !req
410. Nobody wants Penn and Teller telling them
what to do with their relationships.Copy !req
411. It's it's so hard to understand thatCopy !req
412. we don't want to hear
what you have to say about ours.Copy !req
413. Don't touch my dick unless I invite you.Copy !req
414. I promise not to touch yours.Copy !req
415. Doctor cartel's studyCopy !req
416. only uncovered one disturbing side effect
for kids with gay parents.Copy !req
417. Other than loving all the shows on Bravo.Copy !req
418. By the age of ten,Copy !req
419. about half of them have experienced
what they describe as homophobia.Copy !req
420. So the only negative to having same sex
parents is the bigotry of other people.Copy !req
421. Meanwhile, back of the cozy
cabin in the woods, Straight arrow DickCopy !req
422. Cohen is urging his client, Lee
to become part of a traditional family.Copy !req
423. Lee, who used to be gay
but doesn't want to be anymore.Copy !req
424. So they tell me, where are you at todayCopy !req
425. regarding your sense of masculinity
and your same sex attractions?Copy !req
426. I'm secure in my masculinity now.Copy !req
427. I no longer have same sex attraction.Copy !req
428. It's.Copy !req
429. It's really important for me to have
that traditional family, because it meansCopy !req
430. a lot of family is kind of like the basis
of providing and sharing.Copy !req
431. And I know you're going to be
a terrific father and a great husband.Copy !req
432. Thank you.Copy !req
433. The answer to every question
I ask is going to be Dick.Copy !req
434. Are you following me? Jack,Copy !req
435. what's the name of the psychotherapies?Copy !req
436. Say a loud dick
who was expelled from the AmericanCopy !req
437. Counseling Association
for violations of its code of ethics.Copy !req
438. Dan, what scientific evidence is there
that sexual preferenceCopy !req
439. can be changed through counseling?Copy !req
440. Yeah.Copy !req
441. Okay. That.Copy !req
442. I made the journey myself
from Gate of Straight.Copy !req
443. I not only talk the talk, I walk the walk.Copy !req
444. well, it's a little more of a sashay.Copy !req
445. Some people said you're born this way.Copy !req
446. Accept it.Copy !req
447. This is who you are.Copy !req
448. And I knew that was a bunch of malarkey.Copy !req
449. I knew it wasn't how I was born.Copy !req
450. I knew I was destined to have
a wife and children.Copy !req
451. And teller
and I were destined to be cowboys.Copy !req
452. We're such fuckups.Copy !req
453. And then when you finally started
to get it with these healthy guysCopy !req
454. at your work. Yeah. Nonsexual love.Copy !req
455. Cherish. Healthy man. Love.Copy !req
456. Yeah. Healthy man. Love wasCopy !req
457. just rejuvenating.Copy !req
458. For me, it was really good.Copy !req
459. Yeah, I healthy man love.Copy !req
460. So when they experience that healthy love
from man healthy man love,Copy !req
461. then they can wow feel I'm a guy
and experience their gender identity.Copy !req
462. And then naturally, heterosexual desires
ensue.Copy !req
463. It's the law of physics. Physics.Copy !req
464. Oh yeah. Right.Copy !req
465. It's Newton's first law of dick motion.Copy !req
466. A dick in motion stays in motion.Copy !req
467. A dick at rest.Copy !req
468. Well, you know.Copy !req
469. Squeezing and tasting.Copy !req
470. Yeah. My middle man.Copy !req
471. Time for dinner with the foursome.Copy !req
472. The coolest part about a foursome is
that they can set the table really fast.Copy !req
473. But in their quest
for emotional and sexual satisfaction.Copy !req
474. Are they ignoring their kids.Copy !req
475. Like every kid there?Copy !req
476. Their needs have to come first.Copy !req
477. I've set up my my practice
so that I could drive my kids to schoolCopy !req
478. when they were in primary school
and in high school,Copy !req
479. because I wanted to spend time with them
every morning.Copy !req
480. This is Nan and John's son, Adam,
and he's grown up son.Copy !req
481. He also got an academic scholarship
and applied physics to college,Copy !req
482. and he's got a long term girlfriend.Copy !req
483. But just one.Copy !req
484. He's wacky kids, This family appears
to be happy and healthy.Copy !req
485. Don't they know they should be miserable,
wretched bastards.Copy !req
486. That's what the traditional marriage crew
wants us to believe. You.Copy !req
487. We can prove through remarkably badCopy !req
488. app that there are a hundred times
more nontraditional relationships in.Copy !req
489. There are traditional.Copy !req
490. Here's how.Copy !req
491. In order to get Brian Brown
and Michael Medved, even that assholeCopy !req
492. Richard Cohen on the show,
we needed one sign release each.Copy !req
493. Nothing to it.Copy !req
494. They're all selling something
to get a coupleCopy !req
495. who doesn't have a book deal
or any shit to sell.Copy !req
496. That's a little harder,
but still only two releases.Copy !req
497. But who knows what
their circumstances are.Copy !req
498. They may be private or feel that their
relationship is no one else's businessCopy !req
499. to get a threesome.Copy !req
500. Not only do all three have to agree,
but they have to be so openCopy !req
501. and honest that everyone in their lifeCopy !req
502. has to know about the very personal matter
of their relationship.Copy !req
503. To find a foursome
who will all agree to sign releasesCopy !req
504. who all have no secrets from anyone,
and more amazingly, all like our showCopy !req
505. must mean
that there are thousands of foursomesCopy !req
506. who would have some reason for one of them
to say no.Copy !req
507. The number of possible complications
or objectionsCopy !req
508. which could come from any single
one of them, is staggering.Copy !req
509. And then imagine that their son
has to sign a release too.Copy !req
510. And we have to have found them.Copy !req
511. Tell her.Copy !req
512. And I can't even agree
on where to have lunch.Copy !req
513. What are the chances? I'll.Copy !req
514. The whole fucking country
must be in a group sex.Copy !req
515. Then there's gay marriage.Copy !req
516. Guess who's against that too?Copy !req
517. The core claim of the same sex
marriage movement.Copy !req
518. When you really get down to the bottom,
the down and dirty is the gender.Copy !req
519. Doesn't matter what same sex marriage is,
is permanent and obligatory.Copy !req
520. Fatherlessness
or mother lessness for children.Copy !req
521. There are times when the children needCopy !req
522. a father in their times
when children need a mother.Copy !req
523. I mean, if we're talking
about positive traits, I don't thinkCopy !req
524. there's a single characteristic
that men have that women don't share.Copy !req
525. and there's something else
about gay parents that you may not know.Copy !req
526. Hock.Copy !req
527. They tend to be older.Copy !req
528. They tend to be better educated.Copy !req
529. They tend
they don't have accidental children.Copy !req
530. And so on average, gay
and lesbian parents do tend to beCopy !req
531. more committed, devoted, successful
parents than heterosexual parents.Copy !req
532. The idea that same sex marriage is
what is a threatCopy !req
533. to the institution of heterosexual
marriage is just crazy.Copy !req
534. It was heterosexuals
who led the way in cohabitationCopy !req
535. and out of wedlock
childbearing and divorce.Copy !req
536. You know,
you got one little section of theCopy !req
537. population, just one now
clamoring to get married.Copy !req
538. And you turn around, you say,
oh, you're the problem.Copy !req
539. That's nonsense.Copy !req
540. Or as you might say, that's bullshit.Copy !req
541. In a democracy, I believe.Copy !req
542. whatever institutions and rightsCopy !req
543. you do provide should be equally available
to all your citizens.Copy !req
544. And the only reason not to provide
marriage to gays and lesbiansCopy !req
545. is because you think they're inferior
in some way.Copy !req
546. And I don't.Copy !req
547. But what does it mean to be a family?Copy !req
548. To me, what family means
is a loving group of peopleCopy !req
549. who care for each other
and take care of each other.Copy !req
550. And I feel like we certainly have
a loving family that fits that definition.Copy !req
551. But what about traditional families?Copy !req
552. I think traditional families are terrific.Copy !req
553. Thanks.Copy !req
554. But I also think
that nontraditional familiesCopy !req
555. can be just as terrific
and just as functional.Copy !req
556. Do we get that dog to sign a release?Copy !req
557. I think the idea, the concept
or the phrase the traditional familyCopy !req
558. or traditional family values is such anCopy !req
559. easy, manipulated concept.Copy !req
560. It's easy to manipulate
because no one knows what it means.Copy !req
561. I think it is an attempt
to enforce through guilt.Copy !req
562. I think it's an attempt to force,
through intimidation, enforceCopy !req
563. a certain, segment of our population's
values.Copy !req
564. I think it reflects, an attempt
to isolate us from each other.Copy !req
565. Is there a movement to make us
all the same?Copy !req
566. Do we want to be all the same?Copy !req
567. I think we could do a great deal
more as a society to makeCopy !req
568. all of our different kinds of families,
more successful than they presently are.Copy !req
569. If we would stop saying endlessly
that one is better than every other.Copy !req
570. Families change as history changes.Copy !req
571. There's no one family formCopy !req
572. that's guaranteed to produce
successful kids and happiness,Copy !req
573. and there's no one family form
that's guaranteed not to.Copy !req
574. How your family looks is your business.Copy !req
575. Where husband, wife. And childrenCopy !req
576. and other peopleCopy !req
577. who love us and who we love.Copy !req
578. Can you explain to me why that's not okay?Copy !req
579. No we can't.Copy !req
580. We envision a world where your life is
yours.Copy !req
581. You make your own choices about what
and who you like to do.Copy !req
582. Gay. Straight. Lesbian Bible.Copy !req
583. The whole business is not a mine
or the government's.Copy !req
584. We want you to all live
happily ever after.Copy !req
585. Do whatever the fuck you want.Copy !req
586. Even dirty hands, shadows.Copy !req
587. And. Light.Copy !req