Penn & Teller: Bull! 1x9

1. INTO THIS LITTLE COIN.

2. IN YOUR OTHER HAND.

3. NOW TAKE YOUR TROUBLES...

4. AND THROW THEM AWAY.

5. SEE? ALL YOUR PROBLEMS ARE GONE.

6. IT'S THAT EASY.

7. IT'S BULLSHIT!

8. BREAKING BOARDS, WALKING ON GLASS,

9. PSYCHOLOGY SEMINARS, ENCOUNTER GROUPS,

10. AND VIDEOS,

11. BECOME A HAPPIERHEALTHIER, MORE SUCCESSFUL, BETTER PERSON,

12. COURTESY OF THE $2.4 BILLION SELF-HELP INDUSTRY.

13. William Cone: THE SELF-HELP

14. BECAUSE OF THE AMERICAN DREAM.

15. THAT WE SHOULD EXPECT TO HAVE CERTAIN THINGS IN LIFE,

16. AND MOST OF US DON'T GET THEM.

17. MY NAME IS DR. WILLIAM CONE. I'M A LICENSED PSYCHOLOGIST.

18. A SOLUTION,

19. WE'RE RIGHT OUT THERE TO GRAB IT.

20. THERE ARE 30,000

21. IN THE U.S.A. ALONE.

22. 3 THAT TOP THE NEW YORK TIMES

23. DR. PHILLIP McGRAW.

24. TODAY, DR. PHIL

25. IN SIMPLISTIC, BITE-SIZED BITS.

26. IN OUR SOCIETY, WE TEACH PEOPLE A LOT OF THINGS,

27. BUT WE DON'T TEACH

28. AND FATHERS.

29. TO DO THAT IN A WAY THAT'S ACCESSIBLE,

30. AND DO THIS AND THAT, I THINK IT'S

31. TO DO.

32. PEOPLE LIKE DR. PHIL AND HIS ILK MEAN WELL.

33. THE DIFFICULTY IS...

34. FOR THE FIRST TIME,

35. FOR 2 MINUTES,

36. IS JUST ABSURD.

37. BE ABLE TO USE.

38. HAS SOLD 30 MILLION TAPES AND CDs

39. PERSONAL POWER.

40. BACK IN 1984

41. UNLEASH THEIR INNER POWER.

42. CONFIDENCE, WEALTH,

43. GOOD RELATIONSHIPS, SUCCESS, AND PEACE OF MIND.

44. THE FIRST STEP...

45. THE FIRST STEP...

46. "I CAN GIVE YOU THIS,"

47. TO SPEND A LOT OF MONEY TO GET THOSE THINGS.

48. JUST AS THIS FIRE BURNS.

49. INTO THE FIRE AND EAT THEM!

50. EAT YOUR FEAR, EAT YOUR PROBLEMS,

51. AWAY!

52. ON ANY OF TODAY'S POPULAR SELF-IMPROVEMENT PROGRAMS.

53. DO THEY WORK?

54. NO MAGIC PILLS.

55. DR. STEVE LEVINSON, CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST.

56. OF THE MATTER IS,

57. NOT GETTING RESULTS.

58. THANKS TO TONY ROBBINS,

59. WALKING ACROSS HOT COALS.

60. IF THAT'S TRUE,

61. HAVE ANY PERSONAL PROBLEMS?

62. Group, chanting:

63. AWHAY-OH NANA.

64. HOUSE OF LEARNING.

65. Gail Baiman: YOU'RE AT UNIVERSAL REMEMBRANCE UNIVERSITY,

66. WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

67. TONIGHT, YOU'LL SEE PEOPLE DO THE IMPOSSIBLE.

68. THE INSTITUTION'S WEB SITE,

69. AND BRING ABUNDANCE INTO THEIR LIVES.

70. MOST PEOPLE DON'T FEEL

71. 1,200 DEGREES OF HOT COALS.

72. I'M GAIL BAIMAN, AND I'M A CERTIFIED FIRE WALK INSTRUCTOR.

73. CERTIFIED? YUP.

74. IN FACT, ANYONE

75. BY ATTENDING A $2,000, 4-DAY INSTRUCTORS TRAINING COURSE.

76. THAT'S WHY, THROUGHOUT THE COUNTRY,

77. THERE ARE NOW 800

78. JUST LIKE GAIL,

79. 125 BUCKS TO IMPROVE THEIR LIVES

80. FIRE WALKING EXPERIENCE.

81. THROUGH THAT BUBBLE OF FEAR,

82. THEY DON'T LET ANYTHING HOLD THEM BACK.

83. MY NAME IS SYLVIA CANTFIELD.

84. I'M A MASSAGE THERAPIST.

85. THIS IS MY FIRST FIRE WALK,

86. HOW TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE.

87. HI. MY NAME IS BILL GLOVER.

88. UH, THIS IS MY FIFTH FIRE WALK,

89. AND I'VE PROBABLY WALKED 100 TIMES,

90. IS TO WALK TONIGHT. I LOVE IT.

91. I'M TINA MARIE TIERNAN, AND...

92. I'VE NEVER WALKED THE FIRE,

93. THE FIRE, AND I INTEND TO LOSE ALL FEAR.

94. OF THE 900 STUDENTS PER YEAR

95. IN TAMPA, FLORIDA,

96. PERSONAL GROWTH.

97. Tina Marie: WALKING

98. I'M GONNA SEE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS IMPOSSIBLE.

99. I'M GONNA WALK THROUGH IT.

100. MEANING THAT THERE'S—

101. THAT THERE'S NOTHING IN MY LIFE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

102. I CAN DO ANYTHING.

103. CONQUER THEIR FEARS?

104. AND SHOULDN'T WE HAVE SOME FEARS?

105. I MEAN, WE SHOULD BE SCARED OF TIGERS, RIGHT?

106. THAT HAVE BEEN PROMISED.

107. THEY GET DISAPPOINTED. THEY LOSE THEIR MONEY,

108. THEY WASTE THEIR MONEY, THEY WASTE THEIR TIME,

109. HELP THEM.

110. OF MIND OVER MATTER?

111. WE'RE GETTING

112. THAT GERMS DON'T HAVE TO CAUSE DISEASE,

113. THAT CALORIES DON'T HAVE TO CAUSE FAT,

114. THAT CARCINOGENS DON'T HAVE TO CAUSE CANCER,

115. THAT FIRE DOESN'T HAVE TO BURN.

116. A CURE FOR CANCER,

117. LET'S SEE HOW THIS FIRE WALKING SEMINAR BEGAN.

118. THAT WE'RE GOING

119. WITH OUR BARE FEET.

120. AND WHAT'S THE POINT OF WALKING ON BROKEN GLASS?

121. IT'S SO MUCH LIKE LIFE,

122. IN LIFE,

123. WITHOUT GETTING HURT.

124. NOW,

125. YOUR WEIGHT ON IT.

126. SO IF THERE'S A LITTLE POINT,

127. TO A SIDE.

128. YOUR WEIGHT ON THAT FOOT,

129. AND GO FOR THE NEXT STEP.

130. WOW! WHAT AN IMPRESSIVE

131. CARNY THINKING.

132. A STINKIN' PILE OF BULLSHIT?

133. David Willey: PEOPLE

134. IT'S VERY DANGEROUS

135. OR EVEN MAYBE THAT IT'S MIND OVER MATTER.

136. CAN DO,

137. DO IT THE RIGHT WAY.

138. I'M DAVID WILLEY.

139. I'M A PHYSICS INSTRUCTOR,

140. SCIENCE DEMONSTRATIONS.

141. WHEN HE'S NOT BUSY GRILLING UP HIS FOREARM,

142. LIKE HOW IT'S REALLY

143. TO WALK ON BROKEN GLASS.

144. ARE MOSTLY HORIZONTAL,

145. SO IT'S ALMOST LIKE

146. OF YOUR FOOT.

147. PUSH AGAINST THE FLAT OF THE BLADE,

148. IT DOESN'T HURT.

149. THAT ARE THERE,

150. THERE'S ENOUGH OF THEM

151. THAT HARD.

152. WHEN I WALK ON IT, I'M GONNA KEEP MY FEET NICE AND FLAT.

153. COMING UP INTO THE BOTTOM,

154. I'M GONNA MOVE MY FOOT TO ANOTHER PLACE.

155. LOOKS REALLY DIFFICULT,

156. IT REALLY ISN'T.

157. AND NOW, IF I COME OFF THIS END,

158. YOU'LL SEE THAT MY FEET ARE NOT BLEEDING,

159. THERE'S NO CUTS, AND I'M FINE, IN FACT.

160. PAY ATTENTION,

161. AS THE GLASS CAN BE SOFT,

162. CAN BE PROBLEMS SOLVED IN OUR LIVES.

163. OF SELF-EMPOWERMENT,

164. YOUR CONFIDENCE,

165. BUT IT'S CERTAINLY NOT MIND OVER MATTER.

166. YOU'LL NEVER CONVINCE TINA OF THAT.

167. FOR HER,

168. OF A MIND-OPENING EXPERIENCE.

169. YOU GO, GIRL!

170. Tina Marie: AS SOON AS I GOT OFF THE GLASS,

171. MY VISION SEEMED CLEARER.

172. FROM FEAR WAS—WAS GONE.

173. THIS IS YOUR JOB,

174. THIS IS YOUR FAMILY,

175. IS TIME FOR YOURSELF.

176. TO BE SUCCESSFUL.

177. THAT'S THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS.

178. THROUGH JUGGLING.

179. SOMETIMES LIFE SUCKS.

180. LAST YEAR, MORE THAT 25 MILLION AMERICANS

181. LIKE THIS GUY,

182. THE SIMPLE ANSWER TO HAPPINESS.

183. IT'S—IT'S SO SIMPLE

184. THAT IT'S—IT'S SIMPLER THAN PSYCHOLOGY.

185. I'M HALE DWOSKIN,

186. HAPPINESS IS FREE.

187. MAYBE HAPPINESS IS FREE,

188. BUT DWOSKIN'S SEMINAR ISN'T.

189. HELLO. HELLO. WELCOME.

190. IS THAT YOU'VE GOT 295 BUCKS TOO MUCH,

191. CAN SURELY SOLVE IT.

192. SINCE 1974,

193. HE'S BEEN TEACHING HIS SO-CALLED "SEDONA METHOD"

194. IN 80 COUNTRIES,

195. LIKE MERRILL-LYNCH,

196. EXXON, AND AT&T.

197. IT'S ALL ABOUT TRYING TO BUILD SOME MOMENTUM,

198. SOME SUPPORT FOR...

199. OUT TO THE WORLD.

200. HE'S GETTING OUT

201. TO SHED THEIR PROBLEMS.

202. REPRESENTS OUR PROBLEMS,

203. OUR SENSE OF LIMITATION, OUR FEELINGS.

204. YOUR HAND UPSIDE DOWN.

205. LET GO OF THE PEN.

206. THAT'S HOW EASY IT IS

207. THE MOST JUSTIFIED,

208. OR EMOTION.

209. ARE SIMPLISTIC,

210. THAT YOU HAVE TO DO.

211. AND THAT'S ALL

212. WILL CHANGE.

213. WITH A PROBLEM,

214. YOU DO THIS THING, YOU WALK OUT CURED.

215. AN UNWANTED FEELING,

216. ALL RIGHT?

217. IS ABOUT IS THIS...

218. JUST LETTING IT GO.

219. SO HOW DOES THAT SOUND?

220. IT'S SO SIMPLE,

221. IS WRONG WITH US?

222. OF HIS SELF-HELP METHOD.

223. 3 VERY SIMPLE QUESTIONS.

224. IS COULD YOU?

225. COULD YOU LET IT GO?

226. IS WOULD YOU?

227. ARE YOU WILLING TO?

228. WOULD YOU RATHER...

229. OR WOULD YOU RATHER BE FREE?

230. LASTLY, THE LAST QUESTION IS WHEN?

231. TO DO IT NOW.

232. IT'S A NAIVE

233. IS SIT DOWN AND SAY,

234. "I'M READY TO LET GO OF THIS PROBLEM,

235. AND THEREFORE, THERE IT GOES."

236. AND SIMPLISTIC,

237. A LICENSED PSYCHOLOGIST.

238. OH, WAIT A MINUTE. THAT'S RIGHT.

239. DWOSKIN ISN'T A LICENSED PSYCHOLOGIST.

240. BUT THAT'S OK. HE IS A LICENSED REAL ESTATE AGENT.

241. HA—WHAT FUCKIN' BALLS.

242. SOMEHOW HE'S GOT THE RIGHT

243. TO TELL PEOPLE HOW TO LIVE?

244. OF YOUR FAVORITE PROBLEMS.

245. AND COULD YOU LET IT GO? JUST COULD YOU?

246. Yeah.

247. OK. WOULD YOU?

248. YES.

249. MM-HMM.

250. WHEN?

251. NOW.

252. GREAT.

253. HOW DOES IT FEEL NOW?

254. IT FEELS MUCH FREER.

255. OF—OF—OF SHOCK.

256. ANYONE ELSE...

257. WHEN WE DID THAT?

258. OF A SUDDEN, LIKE, THIS DOOR CLOSED,

259. AND IT WAS ALL THIS LIGHT COLOR HERE,

260. AND I COULDN'T GO BACK.

261. THERE WAS NO BACK.

262. IT'S A LOT EASIER THAN YOU THINK.

263. WE'RE—WE'RE SO USED

264. OF WHAT'S AVAILABLE TO US EVERY MOMENT.

265. COULD, WOULD, WHEN. THIS IS SO EASY.

266. YOU KNOW, IT WORKED. IT WORKED.

267. JUST 3 SHORT QUESTIONS.

268. I THINK IT IS REAL SIMPLE. THAT'S WHAT'S NICE ABOUT IT.

269. IT'S REAL SIMPLE.

270. OR THE OPERATING ROOM.

271. IT'S, UM, IT'S SOMETHING

272. THAT, UM, REALLY DOESN'T HAVE ANY BOUNDARIES ON IT.

273. OF LIFE,

274. SO APTLY EXPLAINS IT...

275. THAT'S HERE BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER EVERY THOUGHT,

276. EVERY FEELING, AND EVERY EXPERIENCE.

277. FROM THIS GUY? YES.

278. WOULD WE LIKE TO? FUCKIN' "A."

279. WHEN? RIGHT NOW.

280. MEANWHILE,

281. REMEMBRANCE UNIVERSITY,

282. FOR THEIR NEXT COURSE.

283. OK, WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO NOW

284. FOR LIFE.

285. A META FOR? HA HA!

286. WE'RE GONNA PUT

287. RIGHT IN THE "V" OF OUR THROAT,

288. WE PUT IT UP AGAINST THE WALL,

289. TILL IT BREAKS.

290. THEY'RE GONNA DO WHAT?

291. APPARENTLY, TO THESE PEOPLE,

292. A LOT OF SENSE.

293. AS YOU'RE WALKING THROUGH THAT ARROW,

294. AS IT STARTS TO BEND, IT'S GONNA HURT.

295. TO GO FOR IT

296. RIGHT THROUGH IT,

297. THAT ARROW WILL BREAK,

298. AND IT DOES NOT HURT.

299. PROVING... WHAT?

300. NO MATTER.

301. HERE'S TINA, READY

302. OF SELF-IMPROVEMENT.

303. WOW! IF BREAKING ARROWS IS HER GOAL,

304. ON THE ROAD TO SUCCESS.

305. HOW ON EARTH DID SHE DO IT?

306. VERY STRONG,

307. DOESN'T TAKE MUCH TO BREAK THE ARROW

308. ON THE END OF IT.

309. THE SURFACE,

310. PUSH, AND...

311. YES!

312. THIS HUNTING ARROW.

313. THE SHAFT IS ALUMINUM.

314. TO A NECK.

315. WITH THIS SUCKER.

316. TELLER'S GONNA

317. FOR THEIR NEXT WORKSHOP.

318. THEY'LL ONLY NEED ONE.

319. YOU DON'T CHICKEN OUT

320. AND STOP PART WAY.

321. THESE ARE STEEL REBARS.

322. IN BUILDINGS.

323. STEP RIGHT UP! STEP RIGHT OVER HERE!

324. COME ON! ON THE INSIDE!

325. YOU'RE GONNA SEE REBAR ON THE INSIDE.

326. IT'S LIVIN' LIVE. IT'S—

327. OH, I'M SORRY. HEH.

328. YOU'RE GONNA SEE IT ALL IN THIS SELF-HELP COURSE.

329. WHEN THEY'RE READY, WITH THEIR ENERGY,

330. THEY'RE GOING TO BREAK THAT REBAR.

331. GO, GO, GO, GO...

332. YOU GOT IT. GO! GO! GO! GO!

333. TO MANY SELF-HELP PROGRAMS.

334. THAT'S WHAT SELLS PROGRAMS,

335. THAT'S WHAT MAKES PEOPLE COME BACK FOR MORE.

336. SEE, A LOT OF LIFE IS—

337. IS LIVED IN FEAR.

338. APPEARING REAL.

339. SEEMS TO BE WHAT'S ACTUALLY GOING ON IN THIS SEMINAR.

340. PEOPLE DON'T FULLY UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON

341. WITH THESE TRICKS.

342. YES! WHOO!

343. AREN'T PARTICULARLY WILLING TO EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON

344. WHEN THEY DO THEM, EITHER.

345. THIS IS A REAL BOARD.

346. IT'S JUST MOLECULES ARRANGED IN A DIFFERENT SHAPE.

347. SO YOU'RE GONNA BREAK THROUGH THE BOARD.

348. YES! YES! YES! YES!

349. YES!

350. YES!

351. WITH THEIR BARE HANDS.

352. THE WOOD'S BEEN SAWN.

353. THE GRAIN'S GOING ACROSS THE WOOD,

354. NOT ALONG IT.

355. AND THE WOOD'S NOT VERY STRONG THAT WAY,

356. SO IT REALLY DOESN'T TAKE

357. TO BREAK IT.

358. HERE GOES. LET'S BREAK THIS ONE FOR YOU.

359. YEAH, FOLKS, IT'S JUST SIMPLE SCIENCE.

360. BUT FOR THESE BELIEVERS,

361. IN THEIR LIVES.

362. OF COURSE, IT ONLY LASTS A FEW MINUTES.

363. YES!

364. I'M GOING TO LOSE ALL FEAR.

365. THERE'S LOVE AND FEAR.

366. AND IN MY EYES,

367. YOU CAN'T BE EXPERIENCING LOVE IF YOU HAVE HEAR.

368. SO IN THE DAY— WHEN I'M IN MY DAY—

369. AND IF I'M HAVING ANY FEAR, I'M NOT IN MY LOVE SENSE,

370. AND I'M NOT AT PEACE.

371. LET'S WATCH TINA

372. OF LOVE AND PEACE.

373. TINA! TINA!

374. OW! OOH!

375. WELL, IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED...

376. YES! YES!

377. AH, POOR TINA.

378. TO ENLIGHTENMENT.

379. I'M SPEAKING METAPHORICALLY, OF COURSE.

380. SHE'S HITTING A BOARD!

381. MEANWHILE, IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA,

382. HAS GONE HOLLYWOOD.

383. OF UP TO $60 PER SEAT,

384. DR. PAT ALLEN'S

385. IN TOWN.

386. ARE BRAND NEW HERE TONIGHT?

387. WHAT WE CALL YOU?

388. VIRGINS.

389. YOU'RE PAT ALLEN VIRGINS.

390. DR. PAT HAS BEEN

391. FOR OVER 30 YEARS.

392. ALTHOUGH SHE'S A PSYCHOTHERAPIST,

393. A STAND-UP COMEDY ROUTINE.

394. THE FIRST 3 MONTHS IN A RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT.

395. EVERYBODY WEARS DEODORANT, EVERYBODY DRESSES,

396. NOBODY BURPS, AND NOBODY FARTS.

397. EVERYBODY'S PERFECT.

398. ALTHOUGH NOT A VERY GOOD STAND-UP COMEDY ROUTINE.

399. MS. CHEESY IS JUST A FAILED STAND-UP.

400. IS BETTER THAN HER BITS.

401. AND YOU STAY AND YOU STAY,

402. AND YOU CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO LEAVE.

403. YOU CAN'T CALL A THERAPIST, AND YOU CAN'T LEAVE,

404. AND YOU CAN'T CALL THE POLICE.

405. CAN THINK OF DOING IS...

406. AND KILLING 'EM!

407. SURE, SOMETIMES HER JOKES MAY BOMB,

408. BUT SHE'S GOT PLENTY OF OTHER ONE-LINERS.

409. ARE YOU

410. WITH A CAREER?

411. FEMININE MEN TALK LOVE.

412. MASCULINE MEN DO LOVE.

413. WHEN YOU'RE PICK WITH YOUR EYES,

414. YOU'RE PICKING A LAY.

415. WITH YOUR EARS,

416. YOU'RE PICKING A PAY.

417. WHAT THEY DON'T WANT!

418. IN THIS COUNTRY, WE LOVE SLOGANS.

419. AND SO IT'S NOT SURPRISING

420. TO THROW OUT.

421. THEY'RE ENTICING, THEY'RE ATTRACTIVE,

422. THEY SOUND LIKE IT'S GONNA SOLVE EVERYTHING.

423. NO VALUE WHATSOEVER.

424. BUT DR. PAT ISN'T ONLY ABOUT CATCHPHRASES.

425. FIND LIFELONG MATES.

426. THESE WOMEN CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET MARRIED.

427. THAT WHATEVER IT IS I DO,

428. GETTING MARRIED.

429. DR. PAT MAKES CERTAIN

430. THE 3 BASIC TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS.

431. RELATIONSHIP—SLAVE MASTER.

432. RELATIONSHIP—2 EQUALS.

433. A COVENANT RELATIONSHIP.

434. AH, YES. THE OLD 3 C's.

435. HER SIMPLE EXPLANATION.

436. AS A COVENANT,

437. YOU CAN—YOU CAN—

438. NO, YOU DON'T START OUT—

439. AS A CO-DEPENDENCY,

440. BEFORE THE KIDS, YOU'RE IN A CONVENIENT.

441. AND YOU CAN MOVE TO A COVENANT.

442. GO BACK TO THE COVENANT OR A CONVENIENT.

443. FROM A COVENANT TO A CO-DEPENDENCY.

444. YOU KNOW WHAT DOESN'T WORK?

445. WANTS A CONVENIENT.

446. DON'T MARRY A MAN WHO WANTS A COVENANT.

447. A COVENANT RELATIONSHIP.

448. OF THE DR. PAT SHOW

449. SHE GIVES TO THOSE IN NEED.

450. I HAD A BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE.

451. NOW, HE DIED, BUT—

452. BUT HE DIDN'T LIKE ME TO WORK.

453. I KNOW. HE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HELPING YOUR CAREER.

454. BUT LUCKILY, HE DIED.

455. YIKES! LUCKILY, HE DIED.

456. LUCKILY, HE DIED.

457. LUCKILY, HE DIED!

458. LUCKILY, HE DIED. NO, IT'S NOT HER DELIVERY.

459. IT'S JUST— IT'S JUST NOT FUNNY.

460. IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY INSENSITIVE.

461. THIS WOMAN'S HUSBAND, WHOM SHE LOVED, DIED.

462. IMAGINE HOW HE'D FEEL KNOWING THAT THEY WERE JOKING ABOUT IT NOW.

463. HE'D CERTAINLY BE UPSET.

464. LUCKILY, HE DIED.

465. THAT'S THE READING.

466. LUCKILY, HE DIED!

467. I'M INVOLVED WITH

468. WHO'S PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE.

469. OOH!

470. UH-HUH. AND—AND—

471. WELL, THAT WON'T BOTHER

472. 'CAUSE IF YOU'RE A FEMININE WOMAN,

473. YOU'LL NEVER CONFRONT HIM WITH YOUR WANTS, WILL YOU?

474. EXACTLY. SO HOW DO I GET MORE TIME OUT OF HIM?

475. YOU DON'T.

476. THE ROOM RAISE YOUR RIGHT HANDS!

477. I PROMISE...

478. ON MY HONOR...

479. NEVER...

480. ASK FOR...

481. MORE, BETTER, DIFFERENT...

482. LOVE...

483. AFFECTION...

484. TIME TOGETHER...

485. OR SEX...

486. OFF YOUR MAN.

487. YOUR WANTS.

488. OK. THANK YOU.

489. OUCH! HIT ME AGAIN, DR. PAT.

490. THIS WOMAN'S PROBLEMS.

491. EVERYTHING SHE WANTS.

492. THIS PHILOSOPHY APPEALS.

493. I MEAN,

494. 'CAUSE IT'S ALL ABOUT ENERGY.

495. THAT SHE BRINGS INTO MY LIFE.

496. WITH WHICH TO WORK WITH,

497. IMMEDIATELY.

498. THAT'S A GREAT GIFT DR. PAT IS GIVING.

499. I'LL BET THESE PEOPLE WILL BE IN GREAT RELATIONSHIPS RIGHT AWAY.

500. WELL, ACTUALLY I'VE BEEN COMING FOR A WHILE.

501. I'VE BEEN COMING PROBABLY OFF AND ON FOR ABOUT MAYBE 3 YEARS.

502. I'VE BEEN COMING HERE FOR ABOUT A COUPLE OF YEARS, I—

503. YOU KNOW, OFF AND ON.

504. WELL, THERE IS

505. THAT PEOPLE DO THE SAME THING THAT DOESN'T WORK

506. AND OVER AGAIN.

507. OH, MY GOD, I'VE DONE SO MANY—

508. I'VE DONE SEMINARS. UH...

509. I'VE BEEN TO SEMINARS OF— I MEAN, I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER EVERYTHING.

510. OF THE WHOLE THING.

511. SUCKERS EVERY TIME.

512. Dr. ALL RIGHT, HOW MANY PEOPLE GOT SOMETHING HERE TONIGHT?

513. OK.

514. BY ANXIETY...

515. CONFUSION...

516. AND CHRONIC DEPRESSION.

517. REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM.

518. AND SEEM SINCERE.

519. IT'S EASY TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

520. WATCH.

521. NOT TO MAKE FUN OF, COMMENT ON, OR CRITICIZE

522. PSYCHOTHERAPISTS.

523. SPEAKING OF WHICH,

524. IT'S TIME FOR THE ASSHOLES TO FIRE WALK.

525. ONE OF THE THINGS YOU'LL LEAVE HERE TONIGHT WITH

526. TO THE EARTH, TO THE WATER,

527. TO THE AIR, AND MOST OF ALL, TO THE FIRE.

528. AND AS WE TOUCH THAT WOOD,

529. SO THAT WE MAY WALK ACROSS IT,

530. TO WALK THROUGH OUR FEARS.

531. FOR RAISING ENERGY, WE HAVE A VERY INTERESTING CHANT.

532. UH, IT'S NATIVE AMERICAN.

533. IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

534. NICELY DONE.

535. AN ENTIRE LANGUAGE AND CULTURE.

536. WERE JUST SPOUTING GIBBERISH.

537. MAN, BULLSHIT SOUNDS THE SAME IN EVERY LANGUAGE.

538. MEAN SOMETHING.

539. FIRE WALKING.

540. TO PROTECT YOU.

541. OH, THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT.

542. BEFORE WE SEE IT, SORRY,

543. ONE MORE TIME.

544. I'M GONNA WALK ON THIS BED OF HOT COALS.

545. IT'S NOT ACTUALLY

546. WOULD LIKE YOU TO BELIEVE.

547. THAT I'M ABLE TO DO THIS WITHOUT BURNING MYSELF

548. A VERY POOR CONDUCTOR OF HEAT,

549. ON THE BOTTOM OF MY FEET.

550. WELL, THERE.

551. TO BE OK THERE.

552. DOESN'T CONDUCT HEAT

553. AND THERE'S NO REAL DANGER?

554. TO CHANGE THEIR LIVES.

555. THE MOST VULNERABLE AND THE MOST EASILY TAKEN IN.

556. THIS MAGICAL EXPERIENCE,

557. AND AT THAT MOMENT,

558. OF ENDORPHINS,

559. YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS DIFFERENT.

560. WITH SOME ANXIETY OR A PROBLEM.

561. THEY TAKE THE PROGRAM. THEY'RE ELATED.

562. FOR 3 OR 4 DAYS.

563. AAH!

564. IT WEARS OFF, AND THEY'RE RIGHT BACK WHERE THEY STARTED FROM.

565. TOMORROW I'M GONNA BE A NEW PERSON.

566. US, TOO.

567. I'M PENN. THIS IS MY PARTNER TELLER.

568. WE'RE PENN & TELLER. THANKS FOR WATCHING.

569. CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—