1. I'M PENN. THIS IS
MY PARTNER TELLER.Copy !req
2. YOU KNOW, WE'VE GOT
A GREAT GIG IN VEGAS.Copy !req
3. WE'VE GOT PLENTY OF CASH,
ENOUGH TV EXPOSURE.Copy !req
4. WE DON'T NEED TO DO
THIS BULLSHIT SHOW.Copy !req
5. WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT,Copy !req
6. WE'RE REALLY DOING THIS SHOW
AS A PUBLIC SERVICE.Copy !req
7. ABOUT THESE SUBJECTS.Copy !req
8. THE TRUTH OUT THERE.Copy !req
9. THE BULLSHITTERS OF THE WORLD.Copy !req
10. ON THIS SERIES,Copy !req
11. WE'RE TAKING ONCopy !req
12. YOU KNOW, TALKING TO THE DEAD,
BOGUS MEDICAL CLAIMS,Copy !req
13. CREATIONISM,
NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE,Copy !req
14. AND TONIGHT, WE TAKE ON
HOKEY SEX CLAIMS.Copy !req
15. AND WE'RE DOING IT ALL
FOR YOUCopy !req
16. OF OUR HEARTS.Copy !req
17. ALL FOR YOU.Copy !req
18. A LITTLE BIT, TELLER?Copy !req
19. MOVE YOUR "S."Copy !req
20. BULLSHIT!Copy !req
21. CAPITALIZE ON PEOPLE'S SEXUAL INSECURITIESCopy !req
22. AND DESIRES FOR BIGGER DICKS,
SHAPELIER TITS,Copy !req
23. AND BETTER SEX LIVES.Copy !req
24. WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT
COSMETIC SURGERY.Copy !req
25. GIVE YOU MORE... OR LESS OF WHATEVER YOU WANT.Copy !req
26. NO, WE'RE TALKING ABOUTCopy !req
27. PUMPS, PILLS,
BREAST ENLARGEMENT GIMMICKS,Copy !req
28. APHRODISIAC COOKBOOKS,Copy !req
29. AND PHEROMONE COLOGNES.Copy !req
30. IN OTHER WORDS, BULLSHIT!Copy !req
31. WE ALL HAVE SEX.Copy !req
32. SELL IT BACK TO US?Copy !req
33. DICKS!Copy !req
34. HOW COOL IS THAT?Copy !req
35. THEY'VE SUDDENLY BECOME
A HOT TOPIC.Copy !req
36. IS OUT OF THE CLOSET.Copy !req
37. DR. DUDLEY DANOFF,
UROLOGIC SURGEON.Copy !req
38. ABOUT TALKING ABOUT GENITALS.Copy !req
39. AND IN
THE INTERNATIONAL HIT PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS,Copy !req
40. THEY'RE NOT ONLY
TALKING ABOUT PENISES.Copy !req
41. OF THE SHOW.Copy !req
42. PLEASE WELCOME...Copy !req
43. THE BIG, HAIRY COCKS!Copy !req
44. MONSTER!Copy !req
45. IS VERY MUCH THE LAST TABOO,Copy !req
46. AND THAT'S WHERE
WE COME IN—TO LIBERATE THE MALE GENITALIA.Copy !req
47. WE SAY NOT TRUE,Copy !req
48. WE PUT IT 3 STORIES HIGH
ON A BIG SCREEN AND SAY,Copy !req
49. "HAVE AN OLD FASHIONED
BELLY LAUGH."Copy !req
50. IT'S GONZO!Copy !req
51. IT'S A PIECE OF SKIN.
GET OVER IT, PEOPLE.Copy !req
52. DOESN'T ALL THAT
TWISTING AND FLEXING HURT,Copy !req
53. SAYS PENN,
AS IF HE DIDN'T KNOW?Copy !req
54. OH, SORRY. I JUST READ
THE STAGE DIRECTIONS OUT LOUD.Copy !req
55. ANYWAY, WHEN YOU WANT
TO TALK ABOUT PROMINENT PECKERS,Copy !req
56. ONE OF THE MOST WELL ENDOWED MEN IN THE WORLD OF PORN,Copy !req
57. RON JEREMY,Copy !req
58. WHOSE JOHNSON IS SO BIG,
THEY HAVE TO CALL IT JOHNSON AND JOHNSON.Copy !req
59. HA HA HA!Copy !req
60. I'M ACTUALLY ABOUT
93/4.Copy !req
61. THEY SAY I'M 10 INCHES
IN THE PRESS, AND I'LL TAKE THAT.Copy !req
62. IT'S ACTUALLY 93/4,
TO BE EXACT.Copy !req
63. AND BIG AND HARD?Copy !req
64. THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN
AN OBSESSION AROUND THE WORLD,Copy !req
65. AND ESPECIALLY AMERICA,
ABOUT SIZE.Copy !req
66. SIZE MATTERS, YOU KNOW,
THAT KIND OF STUFF.Copy !req
67. BEING BIGGER DOWNSTAIRS.Copy !req
68. AND RON JEREMY'SCopy !req
69. PILL EXTENZE.Copy !req
70. IT'S LIKE GETTING
SHAQUILLE O'NEAL TO SELL PLATFORM SHOES.Copy !req
71. THERE'S NO GIMMICK, JUST REAL SCIENCE.Copy !req
72. IMPROVE YOUR LIFE,Copy !req
73. MORE CONFIDENT,Copy !req
74. AND YOUR PARTNER GREATER PLEASURE,Copy !req
75. AND YES, MAKE YOU
25% BIGGER.Copy !req
76. TALKING ABOUT HYDROPONIC CARROT GARDENING.Copy !req
77. YOU SEE,Copy !req
78. OF A CYLINDRICAL OBJECT,Copy !req
79. THAT OBJECT.Copy !req
80. SO, SEE,
THE... THE RABBIT IS KIND OF RON JEREMY,Copy !req
81. PLACE TO PLACE,Copy !req
82. EVERY DAY, WE'RECopy !req
83. PENIS PILLS, PENIS PUMPS, PENIS EXERCISES,Copy !req
84. AND MORE DESIRABLE WILLY.Copy !req
85. BUT DO THEY WILLY WORK?Copy !req
86. WELL, 3 UPSTANDINGCopy !req
87. A PUMP, A PILL,Copy !req
88. AND EXERCISE.Copy !req
89. FOR A "BEFORE" MEASUREMENT.Copy !req
90. SO WHAT WE'LL DO IS
WE'LL HAVE THE PATIENT COME IN,Copy !req
91. I'M GOING TO ASK HIM
TO DROP HIS DRAWERS.Copy !req
92. I'M REALLY NOT TOO
WORRIED ABOUT HAVING MY PENIS MEASURED.Copy !req
93. I MEAN, IT WOULDN'T
BE THE FIRST TIME THAT IT'S BEEN MEASURED.Copy !req
94. THIS TIME,
IT'LL BE BY SOMEBODY OTHER THAN MYSELF.Copy !req
95. THEN WE'LL RAISE THE TABLE
UP A LITTLE BIT.Copy !req
96. IF IT WORKS...Copy !req
97. I MEAN, I GUESS
IT'S A BLESSING FOR THE LADIES,Copy !req
98. BUT IF IT DOESN'T...
THERE WASN'T TOO MUCH...Copy !req
99. I MEAN, I'M NOT SAYING,
YOU KNOW...Copy !req
100. THEN I WILL TAKE MY, UH...Copy !req
101. TRUSTY MEASURING DEVICE...Copy !req
102. THE PUMP METHOD,Copy !req
103. I'LL CERTAINLY DO ITCopy !req
104. AND IN MY BEDROOM,
I BELIEVE.Copy !req
105. AND, UH...Copy !req
106. YEAH.Copy !req
107. WITH MY GLOVED HAND,Copy !req
108. CALCULATE THE MEASUREMENT.Copy !req
109. I'VE GOT NOTHING
TO LOSE,Copy !req
110. NOTHING TO LOSE.Copy !req
111. WE COULD DO IT IN INCHES,
WE COULD DO IT IN CENTIMETERS.Copy !req
112. IS VERY IMPRESSIVE.Copy !req
113. TO ADD 2 INCHES BY MEASURING
FROM YOUR ASSHOLE.Copy !req
114. AND START THEIR 4-WEEK PROGRAM
OF PENIS ENLARGEMENT.Copy !req
115. WE'LL CHECK BACK WITH THEMCopy !req
116. TO SEE HOW THEY'RE DOING.Copy !req
117. THROUGH THE GRINDER?Copy !req
118. 99.9% OF GUYS,Copy !req
119. BELOW THE BELT, ARE INSECURE.Copy !req
120. I'M DR. ROBERT BUTTERWORTH,
AND I'M A CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST.Copy !req
121. THEY'LL DO ANYTHING.Copy !req
122. THEY'LL GO THROUGH
AMY PROCEDURE.Copy !req
123. THEY'LL TAKECopy !req
124. THAT THEY'RE SEXY.Copy !req
125. DR. BUTTERWORTH?Copy !req
126. IS MRS. BUTTERWORTH.Copy !req
127. I BET HE LOVES HER SYRUP.Copy !req
128. MOST WOMEN, I FIND,
ARE NOT REALLY SIZE QUEENS.Copy !req
129. OUT THERE,Copy !req
130. PREFER A GUY THAT CAN GIVE GOOD HEAD,Copy !req
131. THAT CAN MOVE WELL.Copy !req
132. WHAT THEY SAY,
IT'S NOT THE BOAT,Copy !req
133. OF THE OCEAN.Copy !req
134. WITH THE PENIS.Copy !req
135. FOR MEN,
IT'S AN ISSUE.Copy !req
136. THAT'LL INCREASE THEIR PENIS SIZE.Copy !req
137. I'M SUE McGARVIE
OF SEX WITH SUE,Copy !req
138. AND I'M A CLINICAL
SEX THERAPIST.Copy !req
139. WHEN YOU'RE
LOOKING DOWN ON IT, IT LOOKS A LOT SMALLER.Copy !req
140. BUT I'M TELLING YOU,
WHEN YOU GOT A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW OF ITCopy !req
141. AND YOU'RE LOOKING UP...Copy !req
142. IT'S, YOU KNOW,
IT'S A LOT BIGGER THAN YOU THINK IT IS.Copy !req
143. MY NAME IS MARK MANI,Copy !req
144. PLASTIC SURGERY HERE IN BEVERLY HILLS.Copy !req
145. TO HAVE LARGER BREASTS.Copy !req
146. IS A FAIRLY NEW PHENOMENON,Copy !req
147. ABOUT BIGGER TITS FOR AGES.Copy !req
148. A LOT OF MEN
ARE FOCUSED ON BREASTS,Copy !req
149. BUT THEY'RE NOT FOCUSED
ON THE WOMAN.Copy !req
150. SO A WOMAN THINKS,
WELL, GEE, I'M GOING TO ENHANCE MY BREASTS.Copy !req
151. I'M GOING TO BE ATTRACTIVE,
AND MEN ARE GOING TO LIKE ME.Copy !req
152. ARE THEY GOING TO LIKE YOU,
OR ARE THEY GOING TO LIKE THE BREASTS?Copy !req
153. WELL, THERE'S
NO QUESTION ABOUT THAT.Copy !req
154. WITH BIG BREASTS.Copy !req
155. THEY CAN'T GET
ENOUGH OF 'EM.Copy !req
156. INTO A MILLION DOLLAR A YEAR BUSINESS.Copy !req
157. BECAUSE IT'S SORT OF
A MATERNAL THING.Copy !req
158. I'M JOE FRANCIS,
FOUNDER AND CEO OF GIRLS GONE WILD.Copy !req
159. ON THE MARKET TODAY.Copy !req
160. THERE'S JUST
NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.Copy !req
161. AS GUYS, WE ARE
ATTRACTED TO BREASTS.Copy !req
162. WE'RE DOING THIS SHOW
FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND,Copy !req
163. SO WE KNOW YOU WON'T MIND
IF WE PICK UP A LITTLE EXTRA COIN.Copy !req
164. WATCH FOR TELLER'SCopy !req
165. FROM BULLSHIT STUDIOS.Copy !req
166. IS GOING TO KICK HIMSELF FOR NOT THINKING OF THIS.Copy !req
167. REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE?Copy !req
168. WELL, WE DIDCopy !req
169. TO A WOMAN WITH MODEST OR BIG BREASTS.Copy !req
170. DIDN'T ACCENT HER FIGURECopy !req
171. WOULD STOP AND TAKE A BORING SURVEY.Copy !req
172. HI, SIR. I'M DOINGCopy !req
173. OK.
NO.Copy !req
174. POOR MEREDITH.Copy !req
175. NOT ONE MAN
PAID ANY ATTENTION TO HER.Copy !req
176. IN FACT, THEY WOULDN'T EVENCopy !req
177. TO APPEAR ON CAMERA.Copy !req
178. TO TRY A SPECIAL BRA, WHICH FEATURED HER TITS,Copy !req
179. AND A LOW-CUT TOP
WITH A TINY CAMERA IN THE FLOWER IN THE FRONT.Copy !req
180. TO SEE IF MENCopy !req
181. WHEN SHE WAS WORKING IT.Copy !req
182. WATCH AND LISTEN.Copy !req
183. A MAN SNEAKS A PEEK,Copy !req
184. WILL RING A BELL.Copy !req
185. HI. SIR. I'M DOING A SURVEY
ON TOILET AIR FRESHENERS.Copy !req
186. YEAH, IT'LL TAKE ABOUT 5 MINUTESCopy !req
187. JUST TO DO A SURVEY ON TOILET AIR FRESHENERS.Copy !req
188. COOL.
ALL RIGHT. OK.Copy !req
189. YOUR HOUSEHOLD EVER PURCHASED THEM BEFORE?Copy !req
190. I DON'T THINK SO.Copy !req
191. I'M DOING A SURVEY
ABOUT TOILET CLEANERS.Copy !req
192. IT'LL ONLY TAKE
15 MINUTES.Copy !req
193. SOME QUESTIONS?Copy !req
194. SURE.
OF COURSE.Copy !req
195. OK. UM, HAVE YOU EVER
PURCHASED TOILET CLEANER?Copy !req
196. UH-UH.Copy !req
197. I'M PURCHASED TOILET CLEANER.Copy !req
198. OH, HAVE YOU? OK.Copy !req
199. EVER PURCHASED TOILET CLEANER?Copy !req
200. LITTLE BIT.Copy !req
201. LITTLE BIT? OK.Copy !req
202. MOST LIKELY TO PURCHASE,Copy !req
203. OR THE KIND THAT YOU DROP ON YOUR TONGUE?Copy !req
204. SPRAY. SPRAY.Copy !req
205. LIKELY TO PURCHASE?Copy !req
206. A LIQUID? OK?
A LIQUID? OK?Copy !req
207. THANKS SO MUCH, GUYS.
REALLY APPRECIATE IT.Copy !req
208. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.Copy !req
209. A SIGNIFICANT OTHER'S HOUSECopy !req
210. TO STAY THE NIGHT?Copy !req
211. I DON'T THINK IT WOULD MATTER, HONESTLY,Copy !req
212. BUT, UH, YEAH.
BUT, UH, YEAH.Copy !req
213. DIDN'T ACTUALLY CHANGE HER EQUIPMENT.Copy !req
214. SHE JUST CHANGED THE DISPLAY.Copy !req
215. THERE'S NO PROOFCopy !req
216. OR A BETTER LOVE LIFE.Copy !req
217. IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO GUYS ABOUT TOILET CLEANERS,Copy !req
218. WORK YOUR TITS,Copy !req
219. HAVE SOMETHING SHINY TO DANGLE IN FRONT OF THEM.Copy !req
220. I AM SHOCKED, SOMETIMES,Copy !req
221. AND WHERE THEY'RE FROM.Copy !req
222. LIKE IDAHO AND UTAH AND MIDDLE AMERICA,Copy !req
223. AND THEY'RE ON
THE BREAST IMPLANT, PLASTIC SURGERY—Copy !req
224. IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.Copy !req
225. THIS CAT HAS MILKED OUT OF HEAVERS,Copy !req
226. HE'S THE LAST ONE
WHO SHOULD BE SURPRISED.Copy !req
227. BUT SOME WOMEN DON'T WANT
TO COMMIT TO SURGERY FOR BREAST ENLARGEMENT,Copy !req
228. SO THEY'RE TRYING ALL SORTS
OF BULLSHIT LIKE CREAMS AND HERBAL PILLS.Copy !req
229. TO AN INTRIGUING ALTERNATIVE.Copy !req
230. I'M HERE
TO SEE IF I CANCopy !req
231. MY BREASTS GROW...Copy !req
232. THROUGH HYPNOSIS.Copy !req
233. LIKE THAT'S THE FIRST TIME SHE ACTUALLY SAID THAT OUT LOUD.Copy !req
234. THROUGH HYPNOSIS?Copy !req
235. I'M KAIRA MILAN,
AND I'M A CERTIFIED HYPNOTHERAPISTCopy !req
236. IN SACRAMENTO,
CALIFORNIA.Copy !req
237. USING THE MIND/BODY CONNECTION.Copy !req
238. I'VE TRIED THE...
HERBAL PILLS.Copy !req
239. THEY DON'T WORK.Copy !req
240. I'M HERE JUST TO SEE
IF THIS REALLY WOULD WORK,Copy !req
241. OF THE MIND.Copy !req
242. I'M GETTING MARRIED
IN JULY.Copy !req
243. FEEL LIKE I'M STARTING
A NEW LIFE,Copy !req
244. WITH A NEW SET OF BOOBS, TOO?Copy !req
245. GIVE ME A LITTLE BIT MORE CONFIDENCE.Copy !req
246. FOR FIRST IMPRESSIONS.Copy !req
247. WOW! BIG BOOBS
VIA HYPNOSIS.Copy !req
248. THIS OUGHTA BE GOOD.Copy !req
249. YOU THINK ANYONE'S
GONNA BE SURPRISED AT WHAT HAPPENS?Copy !req
250. SO, IS EVERYBODY
READY?Copy !req
251. WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD
AND CLOSE YOUR EYES?Copy !req
252. JUST THINK ABOUT RELAXING.Copy !req
253. INHALE...Copy !req
254. AND EXHALE.Copy !req
255. OF YOUR BREATHING.Copy !req
256. JUST LET THAT STRESS GO.Copy !req
257. FEEL THEM BEGIN...
TO WIND DOWN.Copy !req
258. JUST A LITTLE BIT...Copy !req
259. TO ACHIEVE CERTAIN MEDICAL ENDS,Copy !req
260. THAT'S GONNA STIMULATE THE HYPOTHALAMUSCopy !req
261. TO INCREASE BREAST SIZE,Copy !req
262. THERE'S ABSOLUTELY
NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE THAT THAT WOULD WORK.Copy !req
263. USING HYPNOSIS,
WE GIVE THE BODY A NEW IMAGE.Copy !req
264. PICTURE, A HOLOGRAMCopy !req
265. TO RE-PATTERN THEMSELVES.Copy !req
266. NOW... THIS PART
OF YOUR MIND...Copy !req
267. CELL GROWTH...Copy !req
268. TISSUE GROWTH...
MUSCLE GROWTH...Copy !req
269. I'M ACTUALLY
GOING TO TAKE THEM,Copy !req
270. INTO A TINY LITTLE SELF,Copy !req
271. IMAGINE WHAT IT'S LIKE DOWN IN THERE.Copy !req
272. YOU... ARE GROWING...Copy !req
273. SMALLER AND SMALLER...Copy !req
274. SHRINKING DOWN.Copy !req
275. THE EXPERIENCE...Copy !req
276. YOUR BREASTS...Copy !req
277. WITH YOUR INNER EYES...Copy !req
278. LARGER...Copy !req
279. AND LARGER...Copy !req
280. JUST THE RIGHT SIZE.Copy !req
281. AND YOU NOW SAY
TO YOURSELF...Copy !req
282. TO HAVE WONDERFUL,
SENSUAL BREASTS.Copy !req
283. AFTER WALKIN' AROUND
IN THEIR OWN BREASTS,Copy !req
284. OF THEIR HYPNOTIC STATE.Copy !req
285. VERY GOOD.Copy !req
286. SO, HOW LONG
DOES IT TAKE TO SEE THE RESULTS?Copy !req
287. TAKES ANYWHERE FROM...Copy !req
288. 6 TO 12 WEEKS,
MAYBE LONGER.Copy !req
289. 6 TO 12 WEEKS—MAYBE LONGER?Copy !req
290. THAT MUST GET COSTLY!Copy !req
291. WELL, I WORK
BY DONATION.Copy !req
292. OH, THAT'S GREAT.
IT'S CERTAINLY A QUESTIONABLE METHOD,Copy !req
293. OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF HER HEART.Copy !req
294. THAT I REQUEST IS $90 A SESSION.Copy !req
295. JESUS HAIRY CHRIST!
$90 A SESSION?Copy !req
296. TO THINK YOUR BREASTS BIGGER!Copy !req
297. WELL, WE CHECKED BACK 8 WEEKS
LATER TO SEE IF IT WORKED.Copy !req
298. WOULDN'T EVEN TALK TO US.Copy !req
299. AN ENDORSEMENT THERE.Copy !req
300. THIS WOMAN'S HYPNOTHERAPY
WAS A BUST.Copy !req
301. THEN?Copy !req
302. A 34 B.Copy !req
303. AND WHAT IS IT NOW?Copy !req
304. A 34 B.Copy !req
305. AND THIS WOMAN...
WELL, SHE CLAIMS SHE GREW 1/2 INCH.Copy !req
306. BUT COULD SHE PROVE IT?Copy !req
307. HAVE TO TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.Copy !req
308. UH-HUH.
WE GOT SUSPICIOUS.Copy !req
309. SHE WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE
PALS WITH KAIRA, WOULD SHE?Copy !req
310. WELL, I HAD USED
HER SERVICES BEFORE.Copy !req
311. FOR... FOR JUST
OTHER THINGS.Copy !req
312. AND, UM... WE'VE
BECOME FRIENDS.Copy !req
313. AW! ISN'T THAT SWEET?Copy !req
314. IS NOT EXACTLY A RESOUNDING SUCCESS.Copy !req
315. BUT LET'S SEE HOW
THE MEN ARE DOING.Copy !req
316. IT'S BEEN 2 WEEKS,Copy !req
317. PROCEDURES.Copy !req
318. EXTENZE,Copy !req
319. THE PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILL.Copy !req
320. STEVE'S BEEN DOING
HIS EXERCISES.Copy !req
321. USING THE PUMP.Copy !req
322. IN THE HOLE HERE,
AND THEY CALL IT A JELLY SLEEVE.Copy !req
323. A COUPLE PUMPS.Copy !req
324. IT'LL BASICALLY
SUCK YOUR PENIS, UH...Copy !req
325. AS MUCH AS YOU'D
LIKE.Copy !req
326. I'VE BEEN DOING
THESE EXERCISES FOR ABOUT 2 WEEKS NOW.Copy !req
327. SO FAR IT'S BEEN
STRESSFUL ON MY PRIVATE PARTS,Copy !req
328. BUT I'M GETTIN'
THROUGH IT. IT'S ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
329. I'M USING EXTENZE,
PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS.Copy !req
330. I TAKE 2 A DAY
WITH A MEAL.Copy !req
331. I'VE BEEN DOING THISCopy !req
332. 2 TO 5 MINUTES.Copy !req
333. AND, UH...Copy !req
334. IT COULD SUCK.Copy !req
335. SUCKED TO THE POINT OF PAIN,Copy !req
336. RECOMMEND THAT.Copy !req
337. AND WHAT ABOUT STEVE?
HOW DO THOSE EXERCISES WORK,Copy !req
338. DOES HE HAVE TO DO THEM?Copy !req
339. ON YOUR GENITALIA...Copy !req
340. TO THE TIPCopy !req
341. IN A FORCEFUL MANNER.Copy !req
342. THROUGHOUT THE DAY.Copy !req
343. SO... BY THE FOURTH WEEK,Copy !req
344. AT LEAST 300 TIMES WITHIN A DAY.Copy !req
345. WELL, HE'S GOT
HIS HANDS FULL.Copy !req
346. WE'LL CHECK BACK IN A BIT
TO FIND OUT THEIR FINAL RESULTS.Copy !req
347. ALL RIGHT. ENOUGH
WITH THE COCKS AND BOOBS.Copy !req
348. WE'LL GET BACK WITH THEM
IN A MINUTE, MAYBE LESS.Copy !req
349. DON'T CHANGE THE CHANNEL
OR GO GET A SNACK OR SOMETHING.Copy !req
350. WE'RE JUST GONNA CHANGECopy !req
351. AND CHECK OUT APHRODISIACS.Copy !req
352. NONSCIENTIFIC AND ANECDOTAL,Copy !req
353. LOVE POTION NUMBER 9.Copy !req
354. THAT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS,
SINCE IT'S LOVE POTION NUMBER 9.Copy !req
355. A LOVE POTION 1 THROUGH 8, AND—Copy !req
356. LOVE—LOVE POTIONS TAKE...Copy !req
357. SUPPOSEDLY,Copy !req
358. ROMANCE AND SEX.Copy !req
359. SOME FOODS EVEN LOOK SEXY,Copy !req
360. AND THIS MOIST,
JUICY OYSTER.Copy !req
361. THERE'S EVENCopy !req
362. BY MARTHA HOPKINS.Copy !req
363. I PERSONALLY DIDN'T
EVEN BELIEVE THAT APHRODISIACS EXISTED,Copy !req
364. BUT AS I DIDCopy !req
365. THE RECIPES FOR MYSELF,Copy !req
366. THAT THEY REALLY DO WORK.Copy !req
367. AND BETTER YET,
THE IDEA SELLS BOOKS.Copy !req
368. THE EFFECTIVENESS,Copy !req
369. FOR THIS HAPPY COUPLE.Copy !req
370. HAVE A SEAT!Copy !req
371. WE'RE GONNA HAVECopy !req
372. AS THE APHRODISIAC IN THAT.Copy !req
373. AND WE'RE ALSO GONNA
HAVE ASPARAGUS THAT'S WRAPPED IN PROSCUITTOCopy !req
374. WITH SOME CREAM CHEESE,
AND IT'S DRIZZLED WITH A VINAIGRETTE.Copy !req
375. VERY TASTY.
WONDERFUL FOR FEEDING TO YOUR LOVER.Copy !req
376. AND GOOD FOOD.Copy !req
377. OH HO!Copy !req
378. OYSTERS...
OH, MY GOSH.Copy !req
379. THERE'S THAT SALTY SMELL.Copy !req
380. IT'S THE WHOLE
SENSUAL THING.Copy !req
381. OH! THAT WAS
SOMETHING.Copy !req
382. SENSUAL.Copy !req
383. FOR YOU?Copy !req
384. MOST OF THIS FOOD RESEMBLES GENITALIA?Copy !req
385. MAYBE IT'S ME,Copy !req
386. A GOOD OYSTER NOW AND AGAIN.Copy !req
387. MMM! THAT BIG SAUSAGE
IS BURSTING WITH FLAVOR!Copy !req
388. AND FOR DESSERT...
THE PIÈCE DE RÉSISTANCE.Copy !req
389. TO APHRODISIACS.Copy !req
390. WORKIN'Copy !req
391. GETTIN' SHIT-FACED?Copy !req
392. YOU KNOW, ALL THESE
DIFFERENT APHRODISIACS...Copy !req
393. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT:
TAKE A SUGAR PILL,Copy !req
394. BECAUSE PSYCHOLOGICALLY,
THAT'S WHAT IT'S DOING.Copy !req
395. IT'S THE PLACEBO EFFECT.Copy !req
396. YOU THINK IT'S WORKING...
AND IT WORKS.Copy !req
397. OK, SO APHRODISIACS
ARE JUST A PLACEBO.Copy !req
398. WHAT ABOUT PHEROMONES?Copy !req
399. CONTAIN PHEROMONES.Copy !req
400. I GUESS THERE'SCopy !req
401. ARE ATTRACTED TO THESE PHEROMONES,Copy !req
402. BUT I HAVE TO SAY...
IT'S NOT DOING ANYTHING FOR ME.Copy !req
403. IF PHEROMONES REALLY DID ATTRACT THE OPPOSITE SEX,Copy !req
404. SO WE SET UPCopy !req
405. CASTING DIRECTOR.Copy !req
406. THEN WE HIRED 2 TWINSCopy !req
407. IN A NEW HOT SOAP OPERA.Copy !req
408. I'M CHAD DIXON.Copy !req
409. AND I'M TAD DIXON.Copy !req
410. WE'RE THE DIXONS.Copy !req
411. FIRST, WE SPRAYED TAD
WITH A PHEROMONE COLOGNE.Copy !req
412. NEXT, WE SPRAYED CHADCopy !req
413. WITHOUT PHEROMONES.Copy !req
414. WHICH TWIN HAD THE ANIMAL MAGNETISM.Copy !req
415. I'M LOOKING,Copy !req
416. SEX APPEAL,Copy !req
417. A WOMAN'SCopy !req
418. OF WHICH GUY...
GETS YOU GOING.Copy !req
419. UH...Copy !req
420. SOUNDS LIKE FUN.Copy !req
421. THAN WORKING WITH 2 BIG HUNKS?Copy !req
422. THE TWINS,Copy !req
423. LET'S SEE HOW SHE DOES
WITH CHAD,Copy !req
424. WITHOUT PHEROMONES.Copy !req
425. Casting director:
ACTION.Copy !req
426. COME IN.Copy !req
427. DUANE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?Copy !req
428. FROM A CALL,Copy !req
429. I SMELLED SOMETHING BURNING UP HERE.Copy !req
430. SORRY, BABY.
FALSE ALARM.Copy !req
431. YOU KNOW IT'S OVER
BETWEEN US.Copy !req
432. YOU'RE GOING OUT
WITH HIM TONIGHT, AREN'T YOU?Copy !req
433. SO WHAT IF I AM?
YOU KNOW...Copy !req
434. YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY
MAN THAT'S GOOD WITH A HOSE.Copy !req
435. ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
436. GO AHEAD.
RUIN YOUR LIFE.Copy !req
437. BUT BEFORE YOU DO...Copy !req
438. YOU OWE ME
ONE LAST DANCE.Copy !req
439. DUANE...Copy !req
440. LIGHT MY FIRE.Copy !req
441. WELL,
CHAD LIT HER FIRE.Copy !req
442. NOW, LET'S SEE IF TADCopy !req
443. CAN TURN UP THE HEAT.Copy !req
444. MMM, MMM, MMM!Copy !req
445. SHE WAS GETTIN'
A GOOD WHIFF OF THOSE PHEROMONES.Copy !req
446. HAD THE MOST SEX APPEAL.Copy !req
447. WELL,
HOW'D IT GO?Copy !req
448. NUMBER 2.
I THINK IT WAS TAD.Copy !req
449. TAD... HAD THE...Copy !req
450. YEAH. THE SECOND ONE
WAS... A LITTLE MORE...Copy !req
451. MANLY, I GUESS.
I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
452. WELL! MAYBE THERE IS
SOMETHING TO THIS PHEROMONE STUFF!Copy !req
453. LET'S CHECK OUTCopy !req
454. AND SEE WHO SHE CHOOSES.Copy !req
455. DUANE, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?Copy !req
456. WOW! SHE IS REALLY
FEELIN' THOSE PHEROMONES.Copy !req
457. HAD THE SEXUAL HEAT?Copy !req
458. WAS HOTTER?Copy !req
459. THE SECOND ONE.Copy !req
460. THE SECOND ONE?Copy !req
461. WELL, IT'S 2 TO ZERO
IN FAVOR OF THE PHEROMONES.Copy !req
462. THAT IN BOTH CASES,Copy !req
463. WENT SECOND.Copy !req
464. IT WAS A FAIR TEST,Copy !req
465. OF THE TWINS FOR THE NEXT 2 VOLUNTEERS.Copy !req
466. Girl #3.
WELL, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY MANCopy !req
467. WHO'S GOOD
WITH A HOSE.Copy !req
468. Girl #4:
OH, DUANE,Copy !req
469. YOU KNOW I CAN'T
RESIST YOU.Copy !req
470. Girl #3:
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?Copy !req
471. SOMETHING BURNING UP IN HERE.Copy !req
472. Girl #4: DUANE,
YOU LIGHT MY FIRE.Copy !req
473. THERE WAS SO MUCH HEAT,Copy !req
474. THE REAL FIRE DEPARTMENT.Copy !req
475. WITH NO PHEROMONES?Copy !req
476. THE SECOND ONE.Copy !req
477. YEAH, THE ANIMALCopy !req
478. MORE THERE WITH CHAD FOR ME.Copy !req
479. HMM! THESE VOLUNTEERS
PICKED THE HUNK WITHOUT THE PHEROMONES.Copy !req
480. WHICHEVER GUY WENT SECOND?Copy !req
481. TEST ALL DAY,Copy !req
482. OF CHAD AND TAD BACK AND FORTH,Copy !req
483. AND WITHOUT EXCEPTION...Copy !req
484. THE SECOND GUY.Copy !req
485. IT WAS MORE...Copy !req
486. ANIMALISTIC, JUST...Copy !req
487. SEXUAL TENSION.Copy !req
488. THAT'S RIGHT.
EVERYONE CHOSE THE SECOND TWIN.Copy !req
489. THE PHEROMONES DIDN'T
MAKE A BIT OF DIFFERENCE.Copy !req
490. TO ATTRACT WOMEN,Copy !req
491. BE NUMBER 2.Copy !req
492. WELL, AFTER 4 WEEKS
OF PUMPING, TAKING PILLS,Copy !req
493. AND PULLIN' PUD,Copy !req
494. 3 PENIS ENLARGEMENT VOLUNTEERSCopy !req
495. TO RETURN TO DR. DANOFF.Copy !req
496. HOW'S IT HANGIN'?Copy !req
497. REMEASURES THEIR PENISES,Copy !req
498. THE 3 VOLUNTEERS ANXIOUSLY AWAIT
THE FINAL RESULTS.Copy !req
499. WELL, FELLAS, NICE
TO SEE YOU BACK.Copy !req
500. I'VE GOT
EVERYBODY'S RESULTS.Copy !req
501. UH, LET'S START
WITH CHRIS.Copy !req
502. CHRIS, I AM
HAPPY TO REPORT...Copy !req
503. BEEN ABSOLUTELY NO CHANGE.Copy !req
504. STEVE...Copy !req
505. NO CHANGE.Copy !req
506. AND FINALLY YOU,
JIM.Copy !req
507. NO CHANGE.Copy !req
508. SO, IS DR. DANOFF
SURPRISED BY THE FINDINGS?Copy !req
509. WHAT I EXPECTED.Copy !req
510. HEH HEH.Copy !req
511. BIGGER IS BUNK.Copy !req
512. AND WHEN DR. DANOFF
SAYS, "BUNK,"Copy !req
513. HE MEANS BULLSHIT.Copy !req
514. NOT ONLY DON'T WORK,Copy !req
515. THEY CAN BE FUCKIN' DANGEROUS.Copy !req
516. Dr.
DEFINITELY THERE ARE POTENTIAL SIDE EFFECTS,Copy !req
517. HORMONES IN THE BODY.Copy !req
518. A LOT OF TIMES DON'T
HAVE A RELEASE VALVE ON THEM,Copy !req
519. ACTUALLY PERMANENT DAMAGE THAT OCCURS.Copy !req
520. SO PLAY IT SAFE.Copy !req
521. WE'RE NOT SAYING YOU
CAN'T GET BIGGER EQUIPMENT.Copy !req
522. WE'RE JUST SAYING,
RIGHT NOW,Copy !req
523. AN OUTPATIENT VISIT.Copy !req
524. IF IT'S NOT
WORTH THAT TO YOU,Copy !req
525. AND ENJOY IT.Copy !req
526. YOU KNOW, WHAT
DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU'RE BOMBARDEDCopy !req
527. OF PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT LIKE OURSELVES?Copy !req
528. THESE ARE MODELS.Copy !req
529. THAT EVERYONE'S
HAVING GREAT SEX,Copy !req
530. BUT THEY'RE THINKINGCopy !req
531. THAN WE ARE.Copy !req
532. SEXLESS AND UNSEXY,Copy !req
533. PEOPLE ARE NEUROTIC.Copy !req
534. TELLER, WHY DON'T
YOU RELAX AND GO DANCE WITH ONE OF OUR FRIENDS?Copy !req
535. WHY DON'T YOU PICK THE, UH—
THE TALL, UH, REDHEAD?Copy !req
536. OK, SO THE SHOW
IS CALLED BULLSHIT.Copy !req
537. WE'RE BUSTING ALL
THESE NONSURGERY SEXUAL ENHANCEMENTS, RIGHT?Copy !req
538. HERE IS US,Copy !req
539. MORE TITS AND DICKS ON TV.Copy !req
540. IT'S LIKE HOW MANY OF THESE
SHOWS DO THERE HAVE TO BE,Copy !req
541. THE SEXUAL MORES OF AMERICANS?Copy !req
542. YOU KNOW, THOSE—
THOSE BOOKS IN THE SIXTIES,Copy !req
543. LET'S EXPLORECopy !req
544. IN THE AMERICAN SUBURBS?Copy !req
545. WELL, THEY'VE NOW JUSTCopy !req
546. OF LET'S EXPLORECopy !req
547. OF S.M.B.D.
IN SAN FRANCISCO.Copy !req
548. IT'S ALL BULLSHIT.Copy !req
549. YOU DON'T NEED AN EXCUSECopy !req
550. AND THINK ABOUT SEX.Copy !req
551. THAT'S WHAT WE'RE ALIVE FOR.Copy !req
552. THAT'S A HUGE PART
OF BEING ALIVE.Copy !req
553. PEOPLE LIVE TO BREED.Copy !req
554. OBSESSED WITH SEX,Copy !req
555. WOULDN'T BE PASSED ON.Copy !req
556. IT'S EVOLUTION.
IT'S NOT ADVERTISING.Copy !req
557. SO, SURE, HYPNOTISM
WON'T MAKE YOUR TITS BIGGER,Copy !req
558. AND THAT PUMP WON'T
MAKE YOUR DICKS BIGGER,Copy !req
559. BEFORE WE STARTED.Copy !req
560. BUT HEY, YOU GET TO SEE
SOME NAKED PEOPLE,Copy !req
561. AND THAT'S ALWAYS FUN.Copy !req
562. YOU KNOW, AND TODAY THEY
KNEW WE WERE GONNA HAVE NAKED PEOPLE ON THE SET,Copy !req
563. SO THAT'S WHEN
THE PRODUCER'S BROTHERCopy !req
564. AND OUR MANAGER FROM L.A.
SHOWED UP, RIGHT?Copy !req
565. BOTH SITTING THERE? YEAH.Copy !req
566. HE'S NOT HERE
TO SEE HIS FAMILY.Copy !req
567. HE'S NOT HERE TO MAKE SURE
EVERYTHING'S GOING RIGHT ON THE SETCopy !req
568. AND EVERYBODY'S
TREATING US OK.Copy !req
569. THEY DON'T NEED AN EXCUSE.Copy !req
570. YOU KNOW, THEY DON'T NEED
AN EXCUSE FOR DOING ANY OF THIS.Copy !req
571. AND YOU DON'T NEED
AN EXCUSE, EITHER.Copy !req
572. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY,
"I LOVE IT WHEN PENN & TELLER BUST THESE ASSHOLES,Copy !req
573. SO I'M TURNING IN
TO THE SEX SHOW."Copy !req
574. NO. YOU SEE...Copy !req
575. IT'S NOT THE SEX
THAT'S GRATUITOUS.Copy !req
576. IT'S ALL THE STUFF
AROUND THE SEX THAT'S NOT NEEDED.Copy !req
577. ARE THEIR OWN REWARD.Copy !req
578. A FEW LAUGHS.Copy !req
579. WE DON'T WANT
TO BULLSHIT YOU.Copy !req
580. WE DON'T WANT YOU
TO BULLSHIT YOURSELF.Copy !req
581. YOU DON'T NEED
ANY EXCUSE FOR SEX.Copy !req
582. A PORNO DVD NOW AND AGAIN.Copy !req
583. EVEN BETTER THAN THAT,Copy !req
584. AND HAVE SEX WITH THEM.Copy !req
585. IT'S WHAT LIFE'S
REALLY ALL ABOUT,Copy !req
586. PENN & TELLER SHOW.Copy !req
587. YOU KNOW, TELLER, I—
COULD I CUT IN HERE?Copy !req
588. I DON'T MIND
BEING SECOND AT ALL.Copy !req
589. CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—Copy !req