Penn & Teller: Bull! 1x10

1. A SPECIAL CONNECTION.

2. WHAT THE OTHER IS THINKING.

3. WHEN IT COMES TO ESP, TELLER THINKS,

4. "UH, THERE MUST BE SOMETHING TO IT.

5. WE'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT IT."

6. HE THINKS THAT, "WELL, SCIENCE CAN'T EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.

7. "WHO DO WE THINK WE ARE?

8. "JUST BECAUSE WE CAN'T EXPLAIN IT, DOESN'T—

9. "SOMETIMES—WE ONLY USE 10% OF OUR BRAINS.

10. "SOME—SOMETIMES I KNOW WHO'S GOING TO BE ON THE PHONE

11. WITHOUT—WITHOUT CALLER I.--"

12. OH, HO HO...

13. IT'S BULLSHIT.

14. WANT TO BEND TONIGHT?

15. YEAH!

16. SO EXCITED ABOUT?

17. THEY'RE HERE TO BEND SILVERWARE WITH JUST THE POWER OF THEIR MINDS.

18. HUH... AND HERE'S THEIR FEARLESS LEADER.

19. I'M JACK HOUCK,

20. PSYCHOKINESIS OR MIND OVER MATTER.

21. YOU'RE RELEASING SOMETHING MORE POWERFUL THAN ATOMIC WEAPONS.

22. YEAH, LET'S HOPE JACK DOESN'T HAVE HIS FINGER ON THE BUTTON.

23. SEE, JACK HOLDS SPOON BENDING PARTIES.

24. IT'S THE LATEST CRAZE

25. PERCEPTION.

26. ONE...

27. 2...

28. 3...

29. BEND! BEND!

30. BEND!

31. SUPPOSED MENTAL POWERS.

32. IT MAKES GOOD TV.

33. LITTLE DID HE KNOW,

34. WE'D BE USING IT TO SHOW WHAT A DUMBASS PARTY HE THROWS.

35. WHETHER IT'S CALLED PSYCHOKINESIS,

36. TELEPATHY, REMOTE VIEWING,

37. OR EVEN SPOON BENDING,

38. THE MIND CAN ACCOMPLISH, WELL, ALL SORTS OF SHIT

39. CONTRADICTS KNOWN PHYSICS.

40. AND OFF THE PLANET.

41. ANY—ANYTHING IN THE WORLD,

42. FROM, UH, JESUS, TO BUDDHA, TO GOD,

43. A PAIR OF SCISSORS ON A DESK.

44. OF PEOPLE OUT OF THE BODY,

45. EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY, ALL OVER THE WORLD.

46. OF THE FIFTH DIMENSION, AS I CALL IT.

47. ANIMALS HAVE FEELINGS.

48. AVENUE OF COMMUNICATION.

49. YES, THERE IS NO END

50. THAT IS OUT THERE.

51. IN THE WORLD OF ESP, IT'S ESPECIALLY THICK,

52. BUT HERE'S WHAT HELPS TELLER WADE THROUGH THE MUCK.

53. THE BOOTS OF TRUTH.

54. SINCE THE 1930's

55. NOTORIETY AND CREDIBILITY.

56. THE MIND HAD AMAZING ABILITIES.

57. BUT ACTUALLY, NONE OF THESE

58. ABILITY TO DETERMINE DICK!

59. A SCORE OF 5 BY CHANCE,

60. A SCORE OF 11.

61. BE SOMETHING TO THIS.

62. STEPHEN WALTON, PROFESSOR OF PHYSICS AND ASTRONOMY,

63. CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY, NORTHRIDGE.

64. TO ACCUMULATE MORE DATA,

65. REALLY VERY LITTLE TO IT.

66. AND IN FACT, IT JUST TURNED OUT TO BE COINCIDENCE.

67. 60 OR 70 YEARS OF FAIRLY

68. AND NOTHING HAS BEEN FOUND.

69. IT'S A FAIR BET THAT NOTHING WILL BE FOUND.

70. NEVERTHELESS,

71. TO BE DISMISSED.

72. COMMON USES OF ESP IS IN LAW ENFORCEMENT.

73. IN THEIR INVESTIGATION.

74. PERHAPS THERE'S NO MORE

75. THAN THE 1993 ABDUCTION

76. OF YOUNG POLLY KLAAS.

77. WAS MISSING,

78. CAME FORTH,

79. PSYCHIC DETECTIVES,

80. OF HAVING FOUND CHILDREN,

81. FIND MY CHILD.

82. MARC KLAAS, PRESIDENT OF BEYOND MISSING, INC.,

83. THE KLAASKIDS FOUNDATION,

84. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, THE FATHER OF POLLY KLAAS.

85. I MEAN, I WAS A DESPERATE PARENT.

86. TO GET MY CHILD BACK,

87. THAT THEY PREY ON.

88. ARE GRASPING FOR STRAWS,

89. AND OFFER THE STRAW.

90. TO CLOSE THE CASE, BUT IT NEVER HAPPENED.

91. HAPPEN IN OUR CASE,

92. IT'S NEVER HAPPENED IN ANY CASE.

93. HAS EVER RECOVERED A MISSING CHILD.

94. OF A PSYCHIC DETECTIVE.

95. OR DISAPPEARANCE,

96. WILL COME CRAWLING OUT OF THE WOODWORK.

97. I'M DR. KRIS MOHANDIE.

98. I'M A POLICE PSYCHOLOGIST, AND FOR THE LAST 14 YEARS,

99. I'VE CONSULTED WITH

100. AND CANADA.

101. ON A NUMBER OF OCCASIONS,

102. I'VE TRIED TO WORK WITH PSYCHICS,

103. JUST TO TEST THEM, TO SEE, YOU KNOW,

104. ANYTHING USEFUL TO A CASE,

105. I ALREADY KNEW,

106. AND EVERY TIME, I'VE BEEN SADLY DISAPPOINTED

107. NOT HELPFUL AT ALL.

108. WERE NO BETTER THAN CHANCE.

109. TO THE INVESTIGATIONS.

110. WE OFTEN USED TO THINK, "WELL, MAYBE IT'S NOT HARMFUL AT ALL."

111. OF THE MATTER IS,

112. WILD-GOOSE CHASE,

113. HAPPENING IS,

114. SOMEBODY ELSE.

115. HAVE ONE TALENT, HOWEVER—

116. A MARGINALLY CONVINCING PERFORMANCE.

117. WE KNOW IT'S NOT

118. IS WE KNOW IT'S NOT EXTRASENSORY PERCEPTION.

119. BECAME POPULAR,

120. BUT, LIKE ANY GOOD SALESMAN WITH A LOUSY PRODUCT,

121. AND SHOVED IT BACK INTO THE POP CULTURE MAINSTREAM.

122. ON KUWAIT TOWER.

123. TODAY, WHEN IT'S NOT CALLED "PSYCHIC ABILITY,"

124. AS "REMOTE VIEWING."

125. IN THE EARLY 1970s.

126. DON'T CONFUSE THIS STANFORD WITH THE UNIVERSITY.

127. TO BE NEXT DOOR.

128. CALLED "REMOTE VIEWING,"

129. AN EXPERIENCE,

130. AT A DISTANT LOCATION.

131. I'M RUSSELL TARG. I'M A PHYSICIST AND WRITER,

132. ON REMOTE VIEWING.

133. BY THE CIA,

134. ARE JUST AS GULLIBLE AS THE REST OF US.

135. BY 1995 THE GOVERNMENT

136. RESEARCH PSYCHOLOGIST RAY HYMAN TO CONFIRM IT.

137. REMOTE VIEWING PROGRAM, AMONG OTHER THINGS,

138. THERE WAS NONE.

139. OF OTHER FORTUNE-TELLING.

140. HYMAN'S RECOMMENDATIONS,

141. PERMANENTLY.

142. FOR US TAXPAYERS?

143. $20 MILLION.

144. GEE, I COULD'VE TOLD THEM THAT FOR $1.75.

145. I'M JAMES RANDI, AND I'M THE PRESIDENT

146. EDUCATIONAL FOUNDATION.

147. $20 MILLION

148. AND 10 YEARS OF RESEARCH BY THE CIA,

149. IT DIDN'T DO ANYTHING FOR US.

150. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE KIND,

151. $20 MILLION-THING JUST STUCK IN OUR CRAW.

152. I KNOW YOU'RE

153. AT S.R.I.

154. THAT DID NOT OCCUR.

155. I'M JUST ASKING.

156. "WEREN'T PEOPLE LAUGHING AT US?" THE ANSWER IS NO.

157. SO STUPID JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE SO SMART.

158. AND THEY'RE SMART ENOUGH

159. WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

160. STOPPED THE BULLSHITTERS.

161. TODAY, THE ESP FAD

162. THAN EVER.

163. SUCKER SUBCULTURE.

164. HI, I'M DR. CARR,

165. OF REMOTE VIEWING.

166. IN OTHER WORDS, HIS KITCHEN.

167. AND WE'RE ABOUT TO BEGIN A REMOTE VIEWING WORKSHOP.

168. WELCOME TO THE WORKSHOP.

169. IS A PSYCHIC TECHNIQUE.

170. THIS COMES BEFORE YOU THINK. I CALL IT "PRE-THOUGHT."

171. YEAH, IT COMES BEFORE YOU THINK.

172. HOW THEY GET PEOPLE TO PAY FOR CLASSES LIKE HIS.

173. ANYWAY, REMOTE VIEWING IS LIKE A GAME OF 20 QUESTIONS,

174. GUESSES ON A PIECE OF PAPER.

175. Dr. HAVE FUN WITH THE CRAYONS.

176. IS NEVER WITHOUT HIS CRAYONS.

177. THIS LOOKS LIKE KINDERGARTEN,

178. THE KIDS ACTUALLY LEARN SOMETHING,

179. AND THEY GET NAP TIME.

180. WELL, WE ATTENDED ONE OF DR. CARR'S WORKSHOPS

181. TO THE TEST.

182. WE PUT IN THIS FOLDER?

183. It's a spiral staircase.

184. Dr.

185. IN A STATE OF OPENNESS, RECEPTIVITY,

186. AND INNOCENCE.

187. IS TO HAVE A QUIET MIND.

188. WITH WHAT'S CALLED A COOL DOWN.

189. OF WHAT IS, NOTHING MORE.

190. AND ONENESS WITH ALL OF CREATION.

191. WE COULDN'T TELL WHETHER DR. CARR

192. TO SLEEP.

193. WELL, BEFORE IT PUTS US TO SLEEP,

194. LET'S LOOK AT ANOTHER ASININE ASPECT OF ESP.

195. WITH ONLY YOUR MIND.

196. TOO COMPLICATED A PROCESS.

197. LATELY, THIS TELEPATHY CRAP HAS BEEN REINVENTED WITH— WE'RE NOT KIDDING HERE—

198. PETS.

199. BLOWS MY MIND.

200. SOMETHING THAT I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW,

201. IT BLOWS MY MIND.

202. MONICA DEIDRICH.

203. COMMUNICATOR.

204. DR. MONICA SAYS

205. PSYCHICALLY.

206. IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA,

207. TO BRING IN THEIR DOGS,

208. CATS, GOATS, GUINEA PIGS, EVEN LLAMAS,

209. WHAT THE ANIMALS ARE THINKING.

210. FOR ANIMALS.

211. SHE CAN'T SQUEEZE INTO THIS LITTLE OFFICE,

212. IN THE BACK ALLEY.

213. THIS LLAMA'S NOT STUPID. HE'S AFRAID TO BE SEEN WITH THIS LOSER.

214. LET'S WATCH MONICA WORK HER MAGIC ON THE LLAMA,

215. WHO'S SUFFERING FROM A LITTLE BACK PAIN.

216. TO COPE WITH HER PAIN.

217. YES, IT IS PAINFUL.

218. SHE'S JUST NEEDS TO BE PATIENT WITH HERSELF.

219. SHE GETS IMPATIENT. SHE WANTS TO DO THINGS.

220. WAIT, WHOA! IS THAT MR. ED?

221. YOU DON'T NEED

222. TO THE FAMOUS MR. ED.

223. OF INTRODUCTION,

224. ABOUT HIS PERSONALITY,

225. THE LOVER OF THE BUNCH.

226. HE'S THE LOVER.

227. I'M A PET PSYCHIC PSYCHIC.

228. WHAT YOUR PET PSYCHIC IS THINKING AND FEELING.

229. IS THINKING,

230. "THIS IS SAFE.

231. "NO ONE CAN CONTRADICT ME AND REALIZE I'M LYING.

232. "I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE BALLS TO BE A HUMAN PSYCHIC.

233. A PILE OF BULLSHIT."

234. AS THIS TELEPATHY CRAP IS,

235. THERE'S NO SHORTAGE

236. FOR DR. MONICA'S SERVICES.

237. IN PARANORMAL THINGS FOR HUMAN BEINGS.

238. AND HUMAN BEINGS? THAT MAKES NO SENSE.

239. A GOOD, UH, CONVERSATION WITH A DOG.

240. THERE REALLY ISN'T.

241. WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE?

242. TO TRY THIS?

243. UH, HOW ABOUT YOUR MONEY?

244. DR. MONICA DOESN'T DO THIS FOR FREE.

245. ESP NUTCASES,

246. TO KEEP THAT CASH FLOWING.

247. THIS FORM OF ESP "PICTURE TELEPATHY"

248. AND IT PLAYS OUT.

249. PEOPLE UNDERSTAND.

250. HE'S VERY HAPPY WITH YOU.

251. VERY MUCH.

252. HER JOB IS, LIKE,

253. "I'M A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF THIS PLACE, OK?"

254. GRACIOUS WITH HIS TIME,

255. AND I THANK YOU, FRAN, FOR THAT.

256. THE DOGS.

257. THAT DR. MONICA

258. MORE SENSITIVE TO MY ANIMALS.

259. DR. MONICA CLAIMS

260. AMAZING REVELATIONS.

261. ANIMALS HAVE TENDENCIES.

262. THAT WERE GAY.

263. SHE'S A WACKO,

264. WACKO.

265. MAYBE OLD TROY IS GAY.

266. OR MAYBE HE'S JUST TRIM AND WELL-GROOMED.

267. THIS IS TROY,

268. WAS BORN DEAF.

269. INITIALLY, HE THOUGHT WE THOUGHT HE WAS DUMB.

270. SO, WE FEEL WITH TROY WE HAVE A WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY,

271. THROUGH DR. MONICA, TO REALLY COMMUNICATE WITH HIM.

272. MONICA'S DR. DOLITTLE ACT

273. BREAKS THEIR HEARTS.

274. CANNOT COMMUNICATE.

275. IT'S ALL A FANTASY.

276. I AM NOT CRAZY.

277. WE'RE NOT NUTS. WE'RE NOT NUTS.

278. AND I'M PROUD

279. IN ORDER TO HELP MY FAMILY.

280. AS MUCH AS WE DO.

281. AND THEY HAVE DESIRES. AND THEY WANT TO GIVE AS MUCH AS WE DO,

282. AND THEY DO, IF NOT MORE.

283. OH, THIS IS BUMMIN' ME OUT.

284. LET'S JUST DROP IT.

285. BEND! GO AHEAD, QUICK!

286. THE METALLICA PARTY,

287. WE HAD OUR FIRST SPOON BEND,

288. IS MIGHTY EXCITED AT THE SUCCESS.

289. WHOA! HEY!

290. IT JUST GIVES. IT JUST GIVES. ALL OF A SUDDEN,

291. YOU CAN'T DO IT, YOU CAN'T DO IT, YOU CAN'T DO IT.

292. HE SCREAMED, I SCREAMED, AND IT GAVE.

293. GO, GO, GO, GO!

294. WAIT A MINUTE.

295. BENDING THEIR SPOONS WITH THEIR HANDS?

296. IS THAT ALL ABOUT?

297. IT'S NOT EVEN A LAME TRICK.

298. HAS SOFTENED THE METAL.

299. IS SUPPOSED TO PROVE THAT.

300. FOR AT LEAST A TRICK.

301. TO SINK BELOW MAGICIANS!

302. AND THEN BENT IT REALLY HARD.

303. I DIDN'T CONCENTRATE OR ANYTHING.

304. SO, HOW'S IT GOING WITH DR. CARR AND THE REMOTE VIEWING TEST?

305. WELL, THEY'RE GETTING AWFULLY TOUCHY-FEELY.

306. Dr. EVERYBODY THAT WANTS TO SORT OF FEEL,

307. WITH YOUR HANDS,

308. TELL YOU ABOUT THIS ENERGY.

309. IF YOU'RE CLUELESS, JUST STAY IN STRUCTURE.

310. SURPRISE YOU.

311. THAT VEIN.

312. DON'T LOCK YOURSELF IN. STAY FUZZY.

313. WELL, THAT'S SOME ADVICE TO LIVE BY, HUH?

314. SO, LET'S SEE WHAT THEY'RE DRAWING.

315. PICKING UP ON OUR...

316. spiral staircase?

317. THIS GUY'S DRAWING, UM, A SURFER.

318. THIS LADY'S AMAZING

319. WITH A STATUE OF SOME SORT.

320. HE'S FUCKIN' LEONARDO DA VINCI.

321. AND THIS GUY,

322. WELL, HE'S OBVIOUSLY JUST HORRIBLY CONFUSED.

323. A THOUGHT PROCESS.

324. IT'S AN EXPERIENTIAL, KINESTHETIC PROCESS.

325. WELL, LET'S GIVE HIM

326. THIS WASTE OF TIME,

327. AND WHILE WE'RE WAITING, WE'LL MAKE ONE MORE STOP

328. ON OUR BULLSHIT ESP TOUR.

329. SO RELAX, TAKE A DEEP BREATH,

330. AND HIS COOL DISK.

331. I WANT A COOL DISK.

332. I'M DR. BRUCE GOLDBERG,

333. AND I'M GOING TO BE

334. AS YOU SEE

335. TO GUIDE THEM OUT OF THEIR OWN PHYSICAL BODY.

336. DR. GOLDBERG'S QUALIFICATIONS FOR HIS PRACTICE?

337. HE'S A DENTIST.

338. WELL, YOU'D ALMOST HAVE TO BE A DENTIST.

339. I MEAN, ONLY A DENTIST

340. THIS PAST LIFE BULLSHIT OUT OF HIS ASS!

341. IS ONE OF DR. GOLDBERG'S ASTRAL VOYAGE PATIENTS.

342. HER NAME IS MICHELLE.

343. OF THE FRENCH REVOLUTION.

344. Dr.

345. IN FRONT OF YOU,

346. AND AS YOU DO SO, THE EYES BEGIN TO WANT TO BLINK AND CLOSE.

347. AND AS I DO, YOU'RE GOING TO RISE UP

348. SUPER-CONSCIOUS MIND LEVEL,

349. WHERE YOU'LL BE ABLE

350. IN THE FIFTH DIMENSION.

351. OK, NOW, CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE YOU FIND YOURSELF AT THIS TIME?

352. I AM IN THE PARLOR WITH JOSEPHINE.

353. AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

354. MADAME...

355. LISSETT.

356. MADAME LISSETT, APPROXIMATELY,

357. BY THE WAY YOU KEEP TIME, ABOUT WHAT YEAR IS THIS?

358. 1, 7,

359. 9...

360. 8.

361. AND WHO IS JOSEPHINE'S HUSBAND?

362. THE LITTLE GENERAL, BUT HE DOES NOT LIKE THAT.

363. IT IS, UH, NAPOLEON. OK.

364. WOW! IN A PAST LIFE,

365. OF NAPOLEON'S WIFE JOSEPHINE.

366. LUCKILY, SHE WASN'T A DIRT-POOR PEASANT,

367. IN 1798.

368. BUT HEY, WE'LL STOP TALKING.

369. LET'S GET MORE DIRT ON NAPOLEON.

370. HE'S NOT A GOOD MAN TO JOSEPHINE,

371. AND SHE IS MY FRIEND.

372. YOU MEAN, HE HAS AFFAIRS WITH OTHER WOMEN? IS THAT WHAT YOU MEAN?

373. NOT FOR LOVE.

374. HE DOES IT TO SHOW...

375. THAT HE IS A LARGE MAN, A BIGGER MAN.

376. SO, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR OPINION OF NAPOLEON AT THIS TIME,

377. THIS INFORMATION?

378. HE IS A PIG.

379. THAN PEPE LE PEW.

380. NOW LET'S TALK HISTORY. JOSEPHINE MARRIED NAPOLEON AS A CONVENIENCE.

381. SEVERAL AFFAIRS.

382. WOULDN'T HER BEST FRIEND KNOW THIS?

383. AND UNUSUAL... WHATEVER,

384. BUT LET ME

385. WE'RE NOT LISTENING! WE'RE NOT LISTENING!

386. LA LA LA LA LA!

387. DR. GOLDBERG CLAIMS TO HAVE REGRESSED OVER 13,000 PEOPLE.

388. AND HOW FAR BACK CAN YOU GO?

389. WELL, REALLY, REALLY FAR.

390. I'VE HAD REGRESSIONS

391. BACK INTO, LIKE, 5 MILLION B.C., IF YOU WILL.

392. IS HE TALKIN' ABOUT?

393. OF 5 MILLION YEARS?

394. THAT COULDN'T BE JUST SOME CRAPPY CARTOON FRENCH.

395. IT'D HAVE TO BE SOME SORT OF PHONY MONKEY ACCENT.

396. THEN THERE'S THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL INVOLVEMENT IN THIS PLANET,

397. EVEN MORE COMPLEX, SO...

398. IF WE DON'T CUT AWAY FROM THIS DICKWAD,

399. HE'LL JUST KEEP TALKING.

400. ON ASTRAL TRIPS.

401. ASTRAL TRIPS—I CALL 'EM HALF-ASTRAL TRIPS.

402. IF THEY'RE MADE,

403. SOME EVIDENCE OF THEM.

404. USE THEIR IMAGINATIONS,

405. IN ORDER TO ACCEPT IT.

406. REGRESSION ON TELLER.

407. UNLIKE MOST ASSHOLES,

408. TELLER DIDN'T HAVE A SPECTACULAR PAST UPON WHICH HISTORY TURNS.

409. HE WAS A DOG-WASHER.

410. LIKE JULIUS CAESAR, EITHER.

411. TO KINGS.

412. A FEW DOGS NAMED KING,

413. AND ONE REX.

414. APPARENTLY, THIS IS TELLER'S FIRST LIFE

415. IS JUST A HOBBY.

416. NOW IT'S TIME

417. THEIR MASTERPIECES.

418. NOT A STAIRCASE.

419. NOPE, NOT A STAIRCASE.

420. WHAT'S THAT, A MOUNTAIN RANGE OF BOOBS?

421. OH, I SEE. I THINK THIS GUY'S DOING

422. NOT-SO-REMOTE VIEWING.

423. AT ONE POINT FELT LIKE A BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING.

424. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HE'S TALKIN' ABOUT,

425. BUT THAT'S NOT A STAIRCASE.

426. GUESS WHAT?

427. A SPIRAL STAIRCASE.

428. FOR AN HOUR OF DOODLING RANDOM CRAP?

429. ARE AROUND $330.

430. DR. CARR MADE 3,000 BUCKS FOR THIS CLASS ALONE.

431. BUT HEY, HE SAYS IT'S A BARGAIN.

432. IN ONE WEEKEND.

433. SO, UH, IT'S REALLY A GOOD VALUE.

434. THERE'S ONE THING DR. CARR DOESN'T MENTION TO HIS STUDENTS

435. AFTER THEY'VE ENDURED

436. IS A PHYSICAL IMPOSSIBILITY.

437. FROM THE LAWS OF PHYSICS,

438. OUR SENSE ORGANS.

439. IT'S UNFORTUNATE, AND I THINK IT'S PERHAPS A BIT SAD

440. WHEN THERE'S NO EVIDENCE THAT THEY ACTUALLY CAN DO IT.

441. AND GET 2 FORKS.

442. HOLD THEM AT THE BOTTOM, JUST AT THE BOTTOM.

443. WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE JACK HOUCK'S GOT TIME

444. AND BENDS HIS MATTRESS WITH HIS ASS.

445. BEYOND A DOUBT.

446. THIS TIME, THERE'S NO WAY

447. TO BEND THE SILVERWARE.

448. LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

449. BEND THEM NOW! BEND THEM NOW!

450. BEND! BEND!

451. BEND! BEND! BEND!

452. BEND! BEND! BEND! BEND!

453. ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN'.

454. SKEPTICAL AT FIRST, AND, UH, I STILL AM.

455. WHY ARE YOU STILL SKEPTICAL?

456. WELL, EVEN THOUGH I BENT THE THING,

457. TO DO IT,

458. GRR—MUSCLING IT THE WHOLE TIME,

459. AND I THINK THAT THAT'S THE ONLY REASON I DID IT.

460. AREN'T GONNA STOP

461. FROM RAKIN' IN THE CASH,

462. AND UNFORTUNATELY, THERE

463. OF WILLING VICTIMS.

464. FOR MEANING IN THEIR LIVES,

465. TO BRING US INTO EXISTENCE.

466. THAT'S A NATURAL HUMAN NEED.

467. IT DOESN'T MEAN YOUR MIND

468. WHO COMES BY CAN THROW WHATEVER THEY WANT.

469. TO BELIEVE IN IT.

470. IN THEIR LIVES.

471. THE EASY WAY OUT.

472. THAT ARE NOT BASED ON REALITY AT ALL.

473. THEY'RE IMAGINATION AND NOTHING MORE.

474. IT'S CLEAR ESP S-U-C-K-S.

475. FOR YEARS NOW,

476. OF $1 MILLION

477. ACTUALLY DEMONSTRATE ANY PSYCHIC ABILITY.

478. YOU SET UP YOUR OWN TEST.

479. OF CHEATING IS ELIMINATED,

480. YOU DO YOUR CLAIM—BAM! THE MONEY'S YOURS.

481. SO FAR, NO ONE HAS COME CLOSE.

482. NOT A ONE. NO REMOTE VIEWERS,

483. NO PET PSYCHICS, NO ONE. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT—

484. A MILLION-DOLLAR PRIZE FOR JUGGLING,

485. I'D BE FIRST IN LINE.

486. I'D JUGGLE THE LAB OF ANYTHING THEY GAVE ME.

487. I'D SMILE AND WALTZ ON HOME A MILLION DOLLARS RICHER.

488. THE "I DON'T NEED THE MONEY" SHIT.

489. A CHARITY THAT COULD USE A MILLION BUCKS?

490. YOU'RE NEAR A PSYCHIC,

491. ASK THEM WHY THEY DON'T WALTZ IN, TAKE THE DOUGH,

492. TO STARVING KIDS. GO AHEAD, ASK THEM.

493. "PSYCHIC WINS LOTTERY."

494. CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—