Peep Show 9x6

1. - You don't have one that just says you are 40 years old?

2. - Um, we have life begins at 40 or 40 today.

3. - No, I want one that reads

4. Jeremy, you are 40 years old.

5. - Do you need old?

6. - I think it rounds it off nicely.

7. - I'm gonna make Jeremy turn 40

8. whether he likes it or not.

9. - Do you have a fax machine?

10. - A fax machine?

11. - I know, willfully perverse,

12. but I'm trying to get in touch with someone

13. who for whatever reason won't return my calls.

14. I'm not some oddball though.

15. It's not worrying.

16. - Good to let him know it's not worrying.

17. He can't worry now.

18. I'm kidding myself.

19. April's never gonna call me.

20. - Wow, three nights on the go.

21. That is major, huh?

22. - Perfect.

23. - So tired, so very tired.

24. Must eat toast.

25. - I'll see you, Mark.

26. - Of course she won't call me.

27. I made the fatal error of letting her get to know me.

28. - You okay?

29. - I'm fine.

30. I think I might shortly die but I'm fine.

31. Three day drug binge.

32. - Oh, your favorite.

33. Celebration for the birthday boy?

34. - You're not planning a party or anything, are you?

35. - No, mate.

36. - 'Cause I definitely don't want a party.

37. - Well, I'm definitely not planning one so relax.

38. - You're going to have a party to remember,

39. my elderly friend.

40. - Good, because I told Joe I'll be 39 tomorrow.

41. - Why?

42. - I don't know.

43. 40 is basically 50 and 50 is dead, whereas 39 is like 35.

44. 35 is practically 30.

45. 30 is 20.

46. You know?

47. - Not entirely.

48. - He's 30 next year.

49. For a few months, theoretically,

50. we can be in our 30s together.

51. - I think I see.

52. - 29 and 40? No.

53. 29 and 39? Okay.

54. 31 and 42? No.

55. 16 and 26? Better.

56. - You're just saying numbers now, Jeremy.

57. - Right.

58. I'm gonna have the most horribly healthy fucking lunch

59. and then do a sit-up and maybe a press-up?

60. - Oh, a sprout sandwich.

61. Are you on a health kick?

62. - I need the vitamins.

63. - Why?

64. - Got to try and keep up with Joe.

65. He's so fucking full of life.

66. - Is this his?

67. The Golden Fountain?

68. - No, it's mine.

69. It's about the beneficial properties

70. of our body's most magnificent product,

71. the human vitamin drunk.

72. - Piss?

73. - Urine is packed with nutrients.

74. - That your body was too foolish to extract

75. at first time of asking.

76. - Why do the Ochomojo people live to 100, Mark?

77. - I don't know, Jeremy.

78. Because you just made them up?

79. - Because they take the original vaccine,

80. the watery battery, the mellow yellow.

81. - Drinking your own piss?

82. - The golden fountain.

83. Come on, Jez.

84. What's next?

85. The chocolate factory?

86. - No, not the chocolate factory.

87. That's horrible.

88. - He's got the book,

89. but he'd never actually.

90. - Oh god, you're not keeping it in the fridge?

91. - Best served chilled.

92. - I need to head to work.

93. - I thought you were off today?

94. - An emergency meeting.

95. Special project or something.

96. Johnson seemed very jazzed.

97. Oh, not with a sandwich and not as your drink.

98. - Be quiet when you come back.

99. I'm gonna pull myself off and sleep for 100 years.

100. - Fine.

101. Good bye, Rip Van Wankle.

102. I'm wasted on him.

103. I should be living with Graham Norton and Dorothy Parker.

104. - Hey, Alan.

105. What's up, captain?

106. What's the skinny on the dope?

107. - Good morning, Mr. Corrigan.

108. - Mr. Corrigan?

109. - Do I smell corporate lube?

110. Am I about to get organizationally fucked?

111. - Is that Baker from regional?

112. What is this, Alan?

113. - I'm sorry, Mark.

114. You've just stepped into the arena naked.

115. In the manner of seconds,

116. wild beasts are gonna fly to your delicate areas

117. and tear you to shreds.

118. - Is this about the permanent markers?

119. - Hm?

120. - 'Cause I needed them at home for projects.

121. - Ah, sorry, mate.

122. You're getting shit-canned, Mark.

123. You're getting fucked by a flag pole

124. in your tiny little vagina.

125. - Jeff!

126. - Yeah, I had a rifle through my old address book.

127. - I'm in and you're out.

128. - What?

129. But can't you do anything?

130. - I'm sorry, Mark.

131. You're contaminated.

132. You're the astronaut with typhoid

133. and I'm gonna stand well back

134. while you're fired out of the airlock.

135. - No, Alan.

136. Remember all the good times, Alan.

137. - So, Mr. Corrigan, it has been brought to our attention

138. that you certified a loan to a friend of yourself,

139. ticking the certification boxes

140. without adequate document checks.

141. This is gross negligence and we're dismissing you forthwith.

142. - I'm sorry.

143. Which loan was this?

144. - To a Mr. Usborne, Jeremy.

145. - It's come to light due a complaint.

146. - What complaint?

147. Who complained?

148. - Mr. Usborne has been in contact to say that he believes

149. that the granting of this loan to him

150. was out of proportion with the just working of the universe.

151. He does not wish to be responsible for another grease.

152. And he's claiming mental incapacity

153. due to the influence of the internet

154. reducing his attention span against his own will.

155. - But I can get the money back.

156. I know him.

157. I can get it back.

158. I'll jam a biro in his eye and drag him in here today!

159. - That may be your way of operating, Mr. Corrigan,

160. but it's certainly not ours.

161. Shafted by a piss addict.

162. - I've cleared out your desk, mate.

163. Your wet wipes and your mega puzzler.

164. - I'm hung out to try.

165. I'm human laundry.

166. Oh Jeff, Jerry, and Johnson.

167. A trilogy of shit.

168. - Jeremy.

169. Jeremy!

170. - Mark?

171. I'm trying to sleep.

172. - I just wanted to let you know

173. that I am now going to punch you on the nose.

174. - What?

175. - Oh, fuck!

176. We don't hit.

177. That's the rule.

178. Or are we hitting now?

179. - Cold brown.

180. No job, no woman, no jam, just cold brown.

181. - Okay, I redunded him.

182. He face plowed me.

183. We're equals-pequals.

184. - Oh, not still with the silent treatment?

185. For fuck's sake.

186. - I love the silent treatment.

187. The cold, impervious wall.

188. - I didn't want you to get fired.

189. I just wanted my extortion payments written off.

190. You were the one who sold me

191. the ball crushing loan in the first place.

192. You started it.

193. Hm? Eh?

194. - He's not luring me back in like that

195. with a lovely savage argument.

196. - Come on, let's have it out.

197. - Appealing but no dice.

198. - This is unbearable.

199. I'm gonna make him come out and fight like a man,

200. push it to breaking point.

201. - Can I have some of your milk?

202. - He wouldn't.

203. Not my lovely, white milk.

204. - Hm?

205. I'll take that as a yes.

206. Do say when you want me to stop.

207. - He's milking me.

208. - No?

209. I'll fill her right up then.

210. - He's got his hands on my udders

211. and he's actually milking me.

212. - I'll just get rid of these.

213. Oops, apologies.

214. I'll just tidy these away.

215. - I will prevail.

216. He can't hurt me with his Rice Krispie blitz.

217. London can take it.

218. What am I gonna do now?

219. Cover him in milk and start licking him?

220. I'm not gonna lick him.

221. - April?

222. God love the facts and all the old ways.

223. - I need a bit of head space.

224. Molly, she's a beast, mate.

225. Marmite in the marg.

226. She's a slob.

227. My peppermint shower gel

228. just laying on its fucking side oozing.

229. What's that all about?

230. I can't live like that.

231. - He's never smelled of peppermint.

232. - Are you alright?

233. - Yeah, fine, knackered.

234. Three day bender

235. and then Mark got fired 'cause of me

236. and I couldn't sleep 'cause of the guilt.

237. - Yeah.

238. - And now he's not speaking to me.

239. - She piles her dirty socks in the basket

240. even though it's already overflowing.

241. And I'm like what, do you think it's gonna eat them

242. like the fucking Cookie Monster, love?

243. - Shush, Hans.

244. I'm trying to think about myself.

245. - Hang on.

246. Mark, did you piss in my piss

247. 'cause this piss looks funny.

248. I don't mind drinking my piss, but your piss,

249. that's over the line.

250. - I understand.

251. Well, thanks for calling.

252. Goodbye, April.

253. - You alright, mate?

254. - Super Hans, will you please inform your friend,

255. Specimen A, that I'm not talking to him.

256. - No, mate, not now.

257. It's Molly.

258. I'm in fucking bits.

259. - Well, likewise.

260. April's gone back to her husband for good.

261. It's over.

262. Everything's over.

263. - I'm sorry, Mark.

264. I'm sorry your life is ruined and it's partly my fault.

265. - Is there a buzzing?

266. An irritating, backstabbing sort of buzzing?

267. - Oh god, don't be such a wanker.

268. - He wanted his loan written off and well, he succeeded.

269. - Yes!

270. Sorry.

271. - But he's lost a friend in the process.

272. - Molly's end is on Corrie.

273. Corrie 'til I die.

274. It's a sign, isn't it?

275. You've got to choose.

276. You can't be City and United, can you?

277. - Look, Hans, can you shut up?

278. Because as we speak, the love of my life

279. is buying cruise tickets with her husband on the High Street

280. with the intention of sailing away forever

281. and I'd very much like to sit here

282. and watch a property-based reality show while she does it.

283. - Look, mate.

284. I can't just let you sit there feeling sorry for yourself.

285. Let's bloody well go and stop her.

286. - If I wanted to stop her,

287. the last person I'd ask for help

288. is the most thoughtless, selfish, venal idiot

289. I've ever met in my life.

290. - He's talking to me.

291. I win!

292. - Mark, I'm gonna help you save the day with April.

293. I'm gonna be your love butler.

294. Come on, let's at least go and spy

295. in case there's something to be done.

296. Yeah?

297. - Hm, I suppose it might be better

298. than having a cry and a Cornetto.

299. - I haven't forgiven you by the way.

300. - I know.

301. You don't have to tell me after every sentence.

302. - I just want it to be clear.

303. - It is clear.

304. - Good.

305. - You just need to be ready, Mark,

306. ready to get April on her own and tell her how you feel.

307. - Love's hard, mate.

308. Fucking hard.

309. It doesn't work.

310. It breaks, but you gotta give it a go.

311. Norwich is never gonna win the league,

312. but they still turn up every week, don't they?

313. The pricks.

314. - If you want, I could try to get in there,

315. waggle the old cock about a bit.

316. - As in?

317. - I don't know.

318. Maybe try and make Angus fall in love with me?

319. Fuck him if need be.

320. - Why does every solution you come up with

321. involve fucking someone?

322. - It's just an idea.

323. - Do you think the sit around in the cabinet

324. talking about sending Philip Hammond over

325. to fuck Hollande to sort out the euro?

326. - Oi, Godley and Creme.

327. They're on the move.

328. - Oh, body language doesn't look great.

329. - It does look a little testy.

330. - He's off.

331. Closing time in the last chance saloon, Mark.

332. Time to grab your nuts and splurge!

333. - Yeah?

334. - Yeah!

335. - Oh fuck!

336. I'm gonna do something.

337. - Be the canary.

338. Full fucking Delia.

339. - I don't know what you mean.

340. - You go, girl!

341. - This still doesn't mean I've forgiven you.

342. - Aw, he is so fucked.

343. - April!

344. - Mark?

345. What are you doing here?

346. - I just bumped into you.

347. - Well, no, you just ran around the corner after me.

348. - No, right, I mean, I just.

349. Look, could we grab a coffee for five minutes?

350. I've got a couple of things I need to say.

351. - Got the coffee.

352. Disregard the price.

353. The price of the coffee is irrelevant.

354. - Thanks, Mark.

355. - No biggie.

356. I mean, God knows how they can charge so much.

357. They're certainly not spending it on lampshade.

358. - Hello, dad.

359. You're living inside me now, are you?

360. - Yeah, so the flight's at midnight to Athens.

361. The ferry leaves tomorrow.

362. All the islands except Korfu.

363. - Oh, not Korfu.

364. Why not Korfu?

365. - He asked innocently.

366. - 'Cause that's where Angus had his au pair.

367. - Oh, of course.

368. Sorry, I'd forgotten.

369. Sorry to drag all that up again, all the resentment, sorry.

370. Idiot.

371. - It's fine.

372. - Anyway, what I wanted to say just before you go

373. and if you want me to stop, just say,

374. but yeah, I basically think that you're just so funny,

375. and clever, and brilliant,

376. and I really am sorry if that makes things difficult,

377. but I think it's only fair that you should know

378. that I think we'd be great together.

379. I mean, I know I'm not perfect.

380. In fact, I'm not even probably average.

381. I'm a misshapen potato, an oddball.

382. - Feel free to disagree, April.

383. - I'm mean-spirited and I only really like hearing

384. about other people's holidays when they've been disastrous.

385. But I really, really like you.

386. In fact, in all honesty, I love you.

387. - Look.

388. It was really weird the last time we saw each other.

389. You burying your wife in a pit of bulls.

390. - Ex-wife and more hiding than burying, but point taken.

391. - The truth is I do have feelings.

392. - Feelings!

393. - And not all has been easy with Angus.

394. Just had a mini-row

395. because he didn't want to spend an extra 300 pounds

396. on cabin with a porthole.

397. If you're gonna be on a boat for three months,

398. you want a porthole.

399. - Of course you do.

400. Who wouldn't?

401. - 300 quid

402. pissed straight out the porthole?

403. Correct call, Angus.

404. - Wow.

405. Okay.

406. Wow.

407. - What?

408. - It's Angus.

409. He's been having a think

410. and he's not sure we should go on this cruise.

411. - Oh, oh right.

412. - Furrow the brow.

413. Furrow the brow to hide the smile.

414. - Apparently now he wants to go to Ibiza alone.

415. - Alone?

416. - See you.

417. Do what the fuck you want.

418. Goodbye.

419. - I've won.

420. It's like I'm Napoleon invading Moscow

421. and the czars fucked off to Ibiza!

422. I've conquered the whole of Russia!

423. I've only gone and won.

424. - Mark.

425. How's it going, you lovely Rotter?

426. - Everything's coming up roses.

427. April and I just had an overpriced coffee

428. and did it in the toilets.

429. - Excellent.

430. - April loves doing it in toilets.

431. In fact, 100% of the times we've done it,

432. we've done it in toilets.

433. I can't wait to do it in a bed.

434. - It'll be amazing.

435. - But the big news is that Angus texted her

436. to say that he's fucked off to Ibiza of all places

437. leaving the coast clear

438. for me to go off with his wife on the cruise.

439. Me and April, April and me.

440. - Man, that is so great.

441. I am really happy for you.

442. You deserve that.

443. - Look, I just wanted to say

444. I know things have been a bit difficult between us

445. over the last day or so,

446. what, with the punching and the blanking,

447. but you're a good friend,

448. although I still haven't totally forgiven you, mate.

449. - I wouldn't have expected you to, mate.

450. - Shut the fuck up.

451. - What was that?

452. - I've done something brilliant, Mark.

453. - Shut it!

454. - What the fuck have you done?

455. - I know it's my birthday, not yours,

456. but I got you a lovely present

457. to say sorry for making you lose your job,

458. and never paying you any rent,

459. and for falling in love with Dobby, for everything.

460. - Fuck.

461. Angus.

462. - Jesus.

463. Angus, are you okay?

464. - It's fine.

465. I wanted to come.

466. Could I possibly get a glass of water?

467. They said they were gonna chop my penis off

468. and put it into another orifice.

469. - Oh Angus, shush.

470. Bants, mad bants.

471. - They said they had a rock with a rock in it.

472. They made me drink urine, Mark, human urine.

473. - He greedily gulped from a bedside bottle

474. that happened to be from the golden source.

475. - Let me go, Mark.

476. Will you let me go please?

477. - Angus, you must know I had nothing to do with this.

478. - Here you go, you naughty monkey.

479. Drink it nicely this time, not gulpy.

480. - Did you send the texts?

481. - Yes.

482. I was worried Ibiza was too much.

483. Was it too much?

484. - What the fuck have you done, Jeremy?

485. - I've done a good one.

486. I've cleared the coast.

487. The coast is clear.

488. - The coast is not clear.

489. We're all going to prison.

490. You've gone totally loopy.

491. You kidnapped Angus.

492. - Or did I invite an unstable oddball

493. for a lift in Hans's van,

494. then back to here for a snifter,

495. then he accidentally got locked in my room for a few hours?

496. It's our word against his.

497. - This is bad.

498. This is really bad.

499. - This is brilliant and it totally worked.

500. You're back with April.

501. - Yes, until she finds out.

502. I mean, what's the long term plan?

503. - The long term plan is sucky fucky.

504. - Sucky fucky is not a long term plan!

505. - Look, how long's the cruise for?

506. Months.

507. Chuck a phone off the boat first day.

508. Butter fingers.

509. Then work on her, cement things.

510. You're in pole position.

511. - She does hate her phone.

512. - Exactly.

513. - I think we let him go and I take the hit.

514. - No, Mark.

515. Sail off into the sunset

516. and let your love butler take care of business.

517. - Fuck it!

518. Alright.

519. Leave him in there for now.

520. - Correct decision.

521. There's always a dark side of love.

522. Someone's always gonna get a little bit kidnapped.

523. Who's that?

524. - Surprise.

525. - Oh for fuck's sake, Mark!

526. I told you I didn't want a fucking surprise party.

527. - I thought you were just hiding your true feelings.

528. - When have I ever hidden my true feelings?

529. - History man's getting a bit wriggly.

530. I think he needs restringing.

531. - Give him a poke.

532. - I'm not giving him a poke.

533. I'm not a fucking hired goon.

534. Who's on shift? Mark?

535. - I'm not doing a shift.

536. This is insane.

537. - Relax.

538. Everything's gonna be fine.

539. You're the British people.

540. We're Blair and Bush.

541. We'll do the rendition.

542. You just have a glass of wine

543. and pretend nothing's happening.

544. Alright, gag him, Hans.

545. - April?

546. - Tell her we're leaving.

547. - Hi, Mark.

548. - How the hell are you?

549. - Oh god she's coming in.

550. Just act normal.

551. Don't arouse suspicion.

552. - Oh, shall I do the do with the party stuff?

553. - Oh yeah.

554. - Don't open the door.

555. - Hi.

556. - Hi.

557. - She didn't see, she didn't see.

558. Calm down, Mark.

559. - The kangaroo is tied down, sport.

560. - He's not a kangaroo.

561. He's an eminent theologian.

562. - Hello, Jeremy.

563. Surprise.

564. - Come on in.

565. Thanks for coming, but put that in the fridge if you want.

566. - Why did you invite her?

567. She hates me.

568. I stole her boyfriend.

569. - Sorry, but when I was doing the invites,

570. it became clear that you've betrayed everyone

571. you've ever been close to.

572. I think that's why the majority declined.

573. - Hi, Jeremy.

574. - Oh hi, Molly.

575. - Happy birthday.

576. I guess that's what you're meant to say.

577. - Go on through.

578. I wouldn't say we were scraping the barrel,

579. but well, you've just not been great at keeping in touch.

580. - Hey, Jez.

581. You look tired.

582. - Yeah, well, I'm definitely not.

583. - So I got you a present.

584. - Tickets?

585. - It's your dream trip.

586. We leave after the party, dance 'til dawn,

587. party bus to Derby, night out,

588. fly to Belfast, rave, get on the party boat to Bristol.

589. Yes, it really exists.

590. We stay up for a week.

591. - Stay up for a week.

592. Oh right.

593. So what, no sleeping at all?

594. - We'll have naughties to keep us going

595. but we can sleep when we're dead.

596. - Which will be within a week.

597. - Okay, come in everyone.

598. - Happy birthday, Jeremy.

599. 39 today.

600. - Second year in a row.

601. - Here's the Jeremy and three amazing months on the Med.

602. - Oh shit.

603. Filibuster.

604. Don't turn.

605. Great.

606. I tell you what I would like to do for Jeremy

607. is a filibuster.

608. I mean, a speech!

609. - Oh, okay.

610. - Now, I've got to make a fucking speech!

611. - You're 40 today?

612. - Yeah, apparently.

613. That's what the banner says.

614. - But you said you were 38 turning 39.

615. - Did I?

616. Yeah, maybe.

617. I forget.

618. Yeah, 38, 39, 40, in that area.

619. - You definitely said you were turning 39, the big 3-9.

620. - It's not a big deal.

621. Whatever.

622. - So why lie?

623. - I didn't.

624. I just misspoke.

625. - It's fine.

626. It's just it's weird that you wouldn't think it's fine.

627. - Look, Joe, I'm sorry, but the truth is I'm 40

628. and I don't want to go raving for a week.

629. I want to stay up to about one

630. and then go to bed and listen to my Mr. Nice audiobook.

631. - Bed at one?

632. One isn't even the night.

633. - It is, Joe.

634. Look, I can't rave all day and fuck all night.

635. And honestly, I don't even like drinking my own piss.

636. - You drink your own piss?

637. - Yes.

638. I eat cashews and I drink my own piss and it doesn't work.

639. I'm never gonna be young, dumb,

640. and full of cum ever again and that's that.

641. - Fine, I get it.

642. - I want to come with you, but I'm just scared I might die.

643. - Maybe I'll ask Megan if she wants to come instead.

644. - Joe.

645. Don't go, Joe.

646. Oh, I've driven him away

647. with my horrible oldness.

648. Yeah, Megan, you're 29 now,

649. but one day, you'll be like 56.

650. - Speech.

651. - Speech! - Speech!

652. - Come on, Mark, and start.

653. - Here it goes.

654. Quick speech and then cruise.

655. - Jeremy, what can I say?

656. A man I know very well indeed.

657. - That's probably as far

658. as I can truthfully go on the endearment stakes.

659. - He's not a great man.

660. He's not a wise man.

661. He's not always a good man.

662. - Okay, where am I going?

663. - But he is a nice man up to a point and I like him.

664. - There, I've said it.

665. Hope he's happy.

666. - Speech, Jez.

667. - Speech. - Speech.

668. - Um, thanks, Mark.

669. We're quite a gang obviously, us two.

670. Brains and the funny one.

671. The old stick up his ass, boring jumper one,

672. and the sexy pep up the party, acid in the punch bowl one.

673. - He loves triggering mental illness.

674. - But we get on pretty well.

675. I mean, we have our ups and downs like any couple.

676. - Hold on.

677. If Hans is here, who's with the hostage?

678. Oh god, I've got an unattended hostage!

679. - And a boring bastard sometimes,

680. but at the end of the day,

681. we've lived together for shit long and it's been alright.

682. - Oh fuck, got to keep the attention.

683. - Yeah, and if I could just say one more thing,

684. Jeremy, Jez, please always keep on being you.

685. - Totally meaningless.

686. I'm going to get rumbled.

687. - That is sweet.

688. That might be the nicest thing he's ever said.

689. - Oi, April! - Angus?

690. - Oh fuck!

691. Oh fuck, oh fuck!

692. - Mark?

693. - Help.

694. Don't let them kill me.

695. - Oh, Angus, don't be a big silly.

696. - We were just hanging out.

697. It's all fine.

698. - He said he was gonna cut my willy off

699. and put it into my bottom.

700. - Jokey, I said it jokey, Angus.

701. You gotta admit that, right?

702. - Simon.

703. - What's going on, Mark?

704. - This has nothing to do with Mark or Hans.

705. It's all my doing.

706. - It's all your doing?

707. - Angus wanted stuff done to him.

708. I wasn't into it.

709. It's all pretty disgusting.

710. I don't want to go into details, but it's complicated.

711. We'll probably never fully understand like Stonehenge.

712. - Mark knew.

713. Mark saw it all.

714. They got me outside the travel agency.

715. - Molly.

716. For fuck's sake.

717. - Who could have possibly predicted

718. that falsely imprisoning a love rival

719. would turn out so badly?

720. Only a genius.

721. - April, don't go!

722. - A real night to remember

723. like the Titanic.

724. - Right, well, it's over with Molly.

725. Apparently I'm not even allowed

726. to do a little fucking naughty kidnap.

727. So bollocks to it.

728. I'm gonna van it to Macedonia.

729. Finally set up the moped rental.

730. - Yeah?

731. - Yeah.

732. Laters.

733. - See ya.

734. Are we gonna be alright?

735. - The project to reintroduce wolves

736. into this habitat has been controversial.

737. - That's the last thing I need.

738. Now, they're bringing back wolves.

739. - Oh god, I am so tired.

740. - What next?

741. Bring back smallpox?

742. We all had fun with the smallpox, didn't we?

743. Is it time smallpox had a reboot?

744. - Mark, will you pull me off?

745. - I'm not about to pull you off, Jeremy.

746. And if you think about it,

747. I'm sure you don't really want me to.

748. - Sure, whatever.

749. I just thought it might be comforting.

750. - What about I read to you from Napoleon's correspondence?

751. - If I was gonna kill you, I'd have a great sign off.

752. - Yeah?

753. - You always loved history, Mark.

754. Well now, you can be part of it.

755. Bang.

756. - Yeah, not bad, not bad at all.

757. I think I'd just come at you in the night,

758. pillow on the face, cock.

759. - Yeah, that's you all over.

760. - Aw, we do love each other really.

761. - I simply must get rid of him.