1. Guh... Dobby's new workplace.Copy !req
2. Look at them.Copy !req
3. Healthy, happy, young people.Copy !req
4. It reeks with the stench of
optimism.Copy !req
5. - Hey, Mark!
- Hi, Dobs.Copy !req
6. I just happened to be passing
and I remember you saying
if I happened to be passing...Copy !req
7. Two buses here, three
home - five convenient buses.Copy !req
8. Great to see you, you big
freak!Copy !req
9. Cool place.Copy !req
10. Wonder who's tried to jump her.
He'd have had a pop.Copy !req
11. I'm just temping, but it's
fun.Copy !req
12. I noticed there's a Cineworld
on the high street...Copy !req
13. - Oh, yeah?
- I've got all these creditsCopy !req
14. on my Mega-pass,
and I'm not up to much, so...Copy !req
15. Shit. I'm going out tonight
for a big one with the guys.Copy !req
16. I'm a guy!Copy !req
17. It'd be great to do a mega
gulp and movie soon, though.Copy !req
18. I'd hate us to stop being
friends.Copy !req
19. Yeah... friends.Copy !req
20. We're friends, right? Like,
if I was having a party, I'd
invite you,Copy !req
21. if you had one, you'd invite
me.Copy !req
22. - Well, yeah.
- Exactly.Copy !req
23. - Dobby...
- Yeah?Copy !req
24. - I'm having a party.
- What?Copy !req
25. Yeah, that's the other thing
I came tell you -Copy !req
26. that I'm having a party.
Would you like to come?Copy !req
27. Um... yeah.Copy !req
28. Trapped in a web of her own
making!Copy !req
29. Oh, God.
I can't believe I'm having a
party.Copy !req
30. I am so proud of you.Copy !req
31. There was everyone thinking
you were just this fusty,Copy !req
32. sweater-wearing,
spirit-crushing,Copy !req
33. no-fly zone with a ten-foot
carrot up his arse.Copy !req
34. It is only a tactical party.Copy !req
35. I'm only having a party
in order to get sex.Copy !req
36. This is the only reason anyone
in recorded history has had a
party, Mark.Copy !req
37. Plus it's great for me -
perfect way to see Elena!Copy !req
38. You haven't given up?Copy !req
39. Nah. She's just playing it
cool.Copy !req
40. And I need to do the same.Copy !req
41. It's Snoopy in shades
versus the Fonz in a fridge.Copy !req
42. Hi, it's Elena.
Please leave a message.Copy !req
43. Oh, hi, Elena. Yeah, Jez here.Copy !req
44. Just to say, you know, me and
Mark are partying hard this
Saturday.Copy !req
45. I invited everyone else
and then thought of you.Copy !req
46. There's going to be
some cats from the music biz,Copy !req
47. a few cats from...
film and new media.Copy !req
48. A whole crowd
of cool cats and crazy chicks.Copy !req
49. Chicks with and without dicks,
guys with dicks.Copy !req
50. Maybe see you up here,
maybe not.Copy !req
51. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye.Copy !req
52. Oh, great.Copy !req
53. Oh, shit!Copy !req
54. What?
Creamy Elephant repayments.Copy !req
55. It's from Sophie's father,
his solicitor.Copy !req
56. Arrangements for child
maintenance, visitation...
Oh, God.Copy !req
57. Wow. That's pretty real.Copy !req
58. I don't want to stickle.
Wouldn't feel right.Copy !req
59. Yeah, just sign that shit up.Copy !req
60. That's what I'd say.
Sign and recline - that's my
motto.Copy !req
61. Yeah.Copy !req
62. Am I really taking his
advice?Copy !req
63. The finest legal mind
of his generation?Copy !req
64. Only three hours to go.
Three lasagnas to nail.Copy !req
65. Need another? Chicken lasagna?Copy !req
66. I've seen it on menus, but only
at those pretend pubs at the
airport.Copy !req
67. - Hey, man!
- What are you doing?Copy !req
68. Taping bin bags to the floor.Copy !req
69. Right. Why?Copy !req
70. To protect the carpet from
all the various fluids.Copy !req
71. But it looks like a crack den.Copy !req
72. I know! Why the hell
have you bought so much food?Copy !req
73. I'm making four
different kinds of lasagna.Copy !req
74. Nobody cares about the
food at parties, Mark.Copy !req
75. They just get pissed
and go ape.Copy !req
76. "Go ape"? I don't want people
"going ape", Jeremy.Copy !req
77. Because there's a missing
word. Ape shit.Copy !req
78. I haven't got time for this.
Start assembling an enormous
salad.Copy !req
79. Salad?Copy !req
80. 'Did you have a good time at
the party?'Copy !req
81. 'Yeah, well, I got pissed and
stoned, and a girl danced
topless on the sofa,Copy !req
82. 'but there was no baby leaf
salad. So overall, big
disappointment.'Copy !req
83. Nobody is dancing on the
creamy elephant.Copy !req
84. I'll do the salad in a minute.
I'm setting up puke points.Copy !req
85. - Puke points?
- There are seven puke points.Copy !req
86. The toilet is puke point HQ,
obviously.Copy !req
87. And I've emptied the bins
and distributed bags
as secondary puke points.Copy !req
88. Oh, God. This could be a
disaster.Copy !req
89. I want a night of edgy banter
and tipsy indiscretions.Copy !req
90. He wants us all lying around
in our pants, flinging shit at
each other.Copy !req
91. Ugh, Sophie. Not again.Copy !req
92. I'm not having a baby -
I'm having a party!Copy !req
93. So what do you reckon?
How many buttons?Copy !req
94. Cos one is old-school,
Blair on holiday.Copy !req
95. Two is the new one.
So I was thinking maybe three,Copy !req
96. but then if I'm doing three,
maybe four?Copy !req
97. I'm thinking of doing a reserve
chicken. What do you think?Copy !req
98. Five lasagnas, Mark?
Lasagnas can't save you.Copy !req
99. You still have to
talk to people.Copy !req
100. What if it's Dobby?Copy !req
101. Don't snaffle the mozzarella.
My ratios are right on the
edge.Copy !req
102. Gerard.Copy !req
103. Hi, Mark!Copy !req
104. Tube up his nose.
The tube is back up his nose.Copy !req
105. Don't tell me I'm the first
one here!Copy !req
106. You're the first one here.
You're early.Copy !req
107. I came early because I wanted
to say, with the whole Dobby
situation,Copy !req
108. I know things have been
difficult between us, but
thanks for inviting me.Copy !req
109. Not a problem... old mate.Copy !req
110. I'm in a love contest with
someone who's one blocked
sinus from intensive care.Copy !req
111. - Drink?
- Shouldn't. Stomach acid
levels are playing up.Copy !req
112. I don't know if you noticed...Copy !req
113. Oh... no.Copy !req
114. She's not going to want to
kiss around the mucus duct.
Nice!Copy !req
115. I'm on lasagna duty,Copy !req
116. then I'll make you a weaky.
Enjoy.Copy !req
117. Might tell Dobby he
came too soon.Copy !req
118. That's big of you, inviting
him.Copy !req
119. It'd look petty
and vindictive not to.Copy !req
120. As a petty and vindictive
individual, I have to take
care not to appear so.Copy !req
121. It's kickin' off!Copy !req
122. Can you help? I need to make
sure Gerard gets incredibly
fucked -Copy !req
123. booze, drugs, whatever -
before Dobby arrives,
to be on the safe side.Copy !req
124. Chemical castration. Classic.Copy !req
125. - All right?
- You've brought a snake?Copy !req
126. Yeah.Copy !req
127. God, he's brought
a venomous plus-one.Copy !req
128. All these young spunks
swarming about, you need a USP
to gain a market share.Copy !req
129. Whoa, snake! Massive!
What's it called?Copy !req
130. Dunno. Fucking rental snake,
innit?Copy !req
131. It is... safe, isn't it, Hans?Copy !req
132. Yeah. Well, it should be.Copy !req
133. Red next to black,
jump the fuck back.Copy !req
134. Red and yella, cuddly fella.Copy !req
135. But red is next to black.Copy !req
136. I dunno. It's fine!
He's been milked, I should
think.Copy !req
137. Where is everyone?
Where's Dobby?Copy !req
138. God. Our party's a
disaster.Copy !req
139. Let's face it, give up.Copy !req
140. Call a truce, everyone go
home. We tried, we failed.Copy !req
141. Mark, it's only 8.45.Copy !req
142. Do you think people hate the
food?Copy !req
143. Yeah. You need more pepper in
the lasagna. Then it'd be
rammed!Copy !req
144. You joke, Jeremy, but word
travels.Copy !req
145. Word travels.Copy !req
146. No-one's dancing.
Let's try some other music.
You've had your chance.Copy !req
147. I'm putting this on, Jeremy.Copy !req
148. Oh, for fuck's sake!
I'm off to get a drink.Copy !req
149. Get one for Gerard as well.
A biggie. And dance a bit as
you walk.Copy !req
150. Dance! Get the dancing going.Copy !req
151. Hope the party livens up
before Dobby gets here.Copy !req
152. It looks like the waiting
room for a psychotherapist.Copy !req
153. - Hi, Mark.
- Hi, sis, glad you could make
it.Copy !req
154. I am just about ready to get
totally and utterly off my
fucking nuts!Copy !req
155. Great. You've noted the puke
points?Copy !req
156. We need to talk about this
six-page legal toilet paper.Copy !req
157. The parental agreement
contract. Thanks for having a
look. On Monday.Copy !req
158. I left a message.Copy !req
159. - Message?
- Something like,Copy !req
160. "You're fucking my brother
with a broom handleCopy !req
161. "and my brother doesn't like
being fucked with a broom
handle."Copy !req
162. God! No wonder she's calling
me 24/7.Copy !req
163. No-one screws with the
Corrigans, not anymore.Copy !req
164. iPOD SELF-HELP:
Confidence in business,
confidence in love...'Copy !req
165. The perils of shuffle!Copy !req
166. It's not mine! I just got it
free with the Sunday Express.Copy !req
167. Great work.
Raj Persaud on the wheels of
steel.Copy !req
168. Hi, Jez.Copy !req
169. Oh, hi. Great to see you.
Did I ever call you back after
you called me all those timesCopy !req
170. after we had that great night?Copy !req
171. You're a real shit.
Toxic waste.Copy !req
172. Everyone fucking knows it.
Have a good one.Copy !req
173. Oh, crap. Everyone's gonna
know I'm toxic waste.Copy !req
174. Ooh, God. Elena.Copy !req
175. This is not all my chickens
coming home to roost, Mark.
Don't think it is.Copy !req
176. I'm not, Jez.Copy !req
177. This is all his chickens
coming home to roost.Copy !req
178. So, Jez. I've made it.Copy !req
179. Yeah. So I'm just spinning
some tracks, actually.Copy !req
180. Well, maybe I'd better leave
you to it.Copy !req
181. Maybe you should.Copy !req
182. The cool-off. I'm relaxed.
Snoopy on a 'lude.Copy !req
183. Who's gonna break first? Not
me, sweetheart.Copy !req
184. Yeah, sure, go on - talk to a
guy, why not? Maybe I'll shag
a guy too.Copy !req
185. How would you like that, hm?'Copy !req
186. Oh, my God! It's actually
going well! I'm an It girl!Copy !req
187. I'm Plum Sykes. I'm at the
hub of London's social whirl.Copy !req
188. Peaches Geldof and Gorby
will be here soon!Copy !req
189. And the lasagna's a palpable
hit!Copy !req
190. How are you finding the
lasagna?Copy !req
191. Great.Copy !req
192. Thank you. That's the tuna
you're on at the moment.
Bubbly?Copy !req
193. Sweet!Copy !req
194. I'm doling out the Champers!
The greatest man ever.Copy !req
195. Goodwill to all men!Copy !req
196. Did I just say "goodwill to
all men"?Copy !req
197. - Hey, man. Look at us!
- I know!Copy !req
198. - I'm having a good time!
- So am I!Copy !req
199. I mean, not, actually,
but it's like I am!Copy !req
200. Only negative is no Dobby.
If it peaks before Dobby gets
here, I've wasted good party.Copy !req
201. Give her a bell,
some flavor.Copy !req
202. Start a message then go,
"Grab your own cocaine. I've
got too much tit in my mouth"?Copy !req
203. Exactly. God, everyone's going
mad for the lasagna. Who knew?Copy !req
204. Your mates love the tuna!Copy !req
205. Yeah. They're not my mates.Copy !req
206. Gatecrashers?Copy !req
207. What, they're just some men
who forced their way in here
and are eating my lasagna?Copy !req
208. It means we're a hit.Copy !req
209. They weren't invited. If it
was just us and them, it would
be a police matter.Copy !req
210. He doesn't care. He didn't
spend hours on the passata.Copy !req
211. You got any more, mate?Copy !req
212. It's finished.Copy !req
213. And listen, "mate",
who invited you to this party?Copy !req
214. - Erm... Mike?
- Right, Mike.Copy !req
215. And which bottle did you
bring? Can you please identify
your bottle?Copy !req
216. We're not gonna be any
trouble.Copy !req
217. Look, you've got to go.Copy !req
218. You can't just walk in here
and eat my food and drink my
boozeCopy !req
219. and have sex with my women!Copy !req
220. My women?Copy !req
221. We'll be good boys - promise.Copy !req
222. Excuse me, everyone.
I'd like to make an
announcement.Copy !req
223. These two gentlemen are party
crashers.Copy !req
224. So I'd be very grateful if
none of you spoke to them for
the evening.Copy !req
225. There is an exclusion zone
around them, a cordon
sanitaire.Copy !req
226. Thank you.Copy !req
227. Look at him.Copy !req
228. Oh, hilarious.Copy !req
229. "Ooh, I've got a rented
snake. It's just like a bendy
cock or a dangerous sausage."Copy !req
230. Excuse me, can I get past.Copy !req
231. OK, take this, Elena.Copy !req
232. - Could we have a quick chat?
- What about?Copy !req
233. I just wanted to say I'm sorry
about the way I behaved.Copy !req
234. It was basically because I...
I couldn't handle the strength
of my feelings.Copy !req
235. Pull the other one, Jeremy.Copy !req
236. Seriously, Sarah.Copy !req
237. It is Sarah, isn't it?Copy !req
238. I think you're incredible.Copy !req
239. - Sure.
- You're a very alive,Copy !req
240. very... incredible,
very... sexual being.Copy !req
241. Yeah, well... don't touch
what you can't afford.Copy !req
242. 30-all in flirt tennis.Copy !req
243. Mark, there's something wrong
in the loo.Copy !req
244. God, she looks like
she's witnessed a war crime.Copy !req
245. Oh... Ooh...Copy !req
246. Somebody's
taken out puke point HQ.Copy !req
247. Oh, the humanity.Copy !req
248. Well it must be one of your
friends - you deal with it.Copy !req
249. Oh what because your friends
don't poo?Copy !req
250. Not at parties. Who comes to a
party and does a massive poo?Copy !req
251. Sort it out, Jeremy.Copy !req
252. He must be here, the culprit.Copy !req
253. If I give everyone my best
Paddington stare, the guilty
party is bound to emerge.Copy !req
254. Could be him.Copy !req
255. He's looking pretty relaxed.
Dumped a heavy load, have you,
sir, on my time?Copy !req
256. Look at that. The Devil and
Eve. And a serpent.Copy !req
257. If there was an apple, this
would be a famous thing.Copy !req
258. I wanted a pet with a bit of
edge. Something to keep me on
me toes.Copy !req
259. Every day at my flat now,
me and him, survival of
the fittest.Copy !req
260. I didn't want to go the full
puma.Copy !req
261. I thought about a tarantula,
but where are the good times?Copy !req
262. With a snake, you've got a
friend.Copy !req
263. A dangerous friend. You can
touch him, if you like.Copy !req
264. I don't know.Copy !req
265. Go on. Stroke him.Copy !req
266. Stroke my snake.Copy !req
267. That's it. That's just
fucking it.Copy !req
268. - All right, Jez?
- Just an idea,Copy !req
269. but would it be OK if you
fuck off before I ram a wine
bottle up your cock?Copy !req
270. All right, mate. Chill out.
It's only a phallic symbol.
It's not my actual dong.Copy !req
271. It's all right, Hans. I just
think me and Jez need to talk.Copy !req
272. This is it. I've got to say
it.Copy !req
273. Look, I just, fucking... love
you.Copy !req
274. I love you and I don't wanna
play it cool any moreCopy !req
275. because I would eat my own
fingers just to look at your
face.Copy !req
276. I will be your dog or your
human mannequin. I'll do
anything you say.Copy !req
277. I just... want you.Copy !req
278. You'd be a human mannequin for
me?Copy !req
279. Well, yeah. I mean, I don't
know what that involves...Copy !req
280. - I thought you'd gone off
me.
- I was playing stupid games.Copy !req
281. But I can't. I just want to
fuck your brain into my brain!Copy !req
282. Oh, wow! I've pulled! I've
pulled my own girlfriend.Copy !req
283. Great. My party and I'm the
Miss Marple of big jobs.Copy !req
284. Can I ask an additional
question? Have you made use of
the facilities?Copy !req
285. - I'm sorry?
- You had an appetite for
lasagna tonight.Copy !req
286. Did you have another
appetite?Copy !req
287. An overwhelming appetite
for fecal discharge?Copy !req
288. I used the bog, but it was
clean. It was after her that
the problem started.Copy !req
289. Oh, my God. Could it have
been? She was the last one to
see the victim alive.Copy !req
290. Jesus! It's the crime
of the century!Copy !req
291. I've cracked the Da Vinci
Code! And it's horrible!Copy !req
292. Wow! If sex was an Olympic
event, we'd win gold.Copy !req
293. You're so cute, Jeremy. Sex is
never going to be in the
Olympics, because of China.Copy !req
294. China wouldn't allow it.Copy !req
295. Gail.Copy !req
296. The cock clamp.
The Inevitable Hulk.Copy !req
297. She's finished. She'll be here
soon.Copy !req
298. We'd best not talk to each
other for the rest of the party.Copy !req
299. Oh, back to playing rhythm
guitar. The backup. The human
carrot.Copy !req
300. I'm not doing this any more.
I love you. You've got to
choose.Copy !req
301. What?Copy !req
302. Now I want first dibs. She can
skulk around and you can have
an affair.Copy !req
303. Except no, you can't, I want
you all to myself.Copy !req
304. The truth is, the spark
has kind of gone.Copy !req
305. She used to write me poems,Copy !req
306. and make me spelt bread
with her bread machine.Copy !req
307. And she still does a bit,
but, like, one loaf a month,Copy !req
308. and really short poems,
like five or six lines and so
on.Copy !req
309. She's taking the piss!Copy !req
310. Maybe... I should just... end
it?Copy !req
311. She's mine. Maybe we'll move
to Russia or wherever the hell
she's from.Copy !req
312. I know what you did last
summer.Copy !req
313. Sorry, what?Copy !req
314. I know that maybe you think
that now that you and "he"Copy !req
315. have parted company, that
you're no longer responsible
for him.Copy !req
316. Well, in my view,
you are your brother's keeper.Copy !req
317. Mark, you're drunk. You're
talking gobbledygook and
balderdash.Copy !req
318. So cold.Copy !req
319. She's a heartless
supervillain.Copy !req
320. Hm. Maybe Gerard's
a little too out of it.Copy !req
321. Be awful if Dobby's natural
compassion came into play.Copy !req
322. Mark!Copy !req
323. Dobby.Copy !req
324. No need to explain what the
hell you've been doing.
Let's get you a drink.Copy !req
325. She's here!
But the party's peaked.Copy !req
326. Got to make sure she doesn't
run into Gerard or the poo -
the items of unpleasantness.Copy !req
327. Gail. Great you made it!Copy !req
328. Hi, Jez.Copy !req
329. You're getting dumped.Copy !req
330. - Lager.
- Thanks.Copy !req
331. Come on in to your
emotional torture pit.Copy !req
332. Hello, babe.Copy !req
333. Yeah, that's right.
Kiss goodbye. Forever.Copy !req
334. Hello.Copy !req
335. Oh, yeah. Hello-o.Copy !req
336. You're a naughty boy,
but that's all right,Copy !req
337. cos I don't like
nice boys, anyway.Copy !req
338. I'd love to stay and chatCopy !req
339. but I've got to go and give
that ill-looking man an
enormous drink.Copy !req
340. Shit. I was on for a biggie.Copy !req
341. Is it petering out?Copy !req
342. No. It's petering up. It's
about to hit maximum peter!Copy !req
343. Oh, my fucking life.Copy !req
344. Look at that - some
bloody... man has turned up.Copy !req
345. Probably from the council.
Excuse me.Copy !req
346. Hi, there. And welcome.
What a surprise.Copy !req
347. Thanks for the invite.Copy !req
348. It's more of a gathering that
snowballed into a get-together
and mutated into a party.Copy !req
349. I was calling
and Dad was down, so...Copy !req
350. I want to get everything
sorted.Copy !req
351. But now isn't the right time.Copy !req
352. They showed up?
OK, come on. Let's do the
hucklebuck, right now!Copy !req
353. Maybe we should just
get a few things sorted out.Copy !req
354. But, but... I'm having... a
party?Copy !req
355. My party's been pooped.Copy !req
356. Dobby mustn't see
Gerard. He's gone over the
edge.Copy !req
357. - Get rid of him.
- Aye aye, captain.Copy !req
358. Bet Archer never did baby
negotiations at his parties.
Or very rarely.Copy !req
359. You two can piss off out of
it, pronto!Copy !req
360. Jeff and Yvette from my book
group? What mad social
chemist have I become?Copy !req
361. Can't finish Atonement cos
it's too dry, but you've got
time to get fingered by Jeff.Copy !req
362. Very intellectual, Yvette.Copy !req
363. Hope you saw that depth charge
I dropped down your bog.Copy !req
364. Something to remember me by.Copy !req
365. Oh, my God.
There's a twist in the tale.
Of course! The butler did it!Copy !req
366. I'm so sorry, Suze!Copy !req
367. We're not agreeing to sign a
single page of this without
visitation rights locked down.Copy !req
368. That might be putting it -Copy !req
369. - What do you want?
- Saturday, Sunday, Thursday.Copy !req
370. - Three days?
- No, I was thinking about
Italian lessons on Thursdays.Copy !req
371. - Great. Now Thursdays aren't
good for him.
- What days do you want?Copy !req
372. I don't know.
Easter and Shrove Tuesday?Copy !req
373. What's he..? Salad spinner?
That's not a bad place to
keep it.Copy !req
374. Now, our broader contention is
that Sophie's not a fit mother.Copy !req
375. What the fuck are you talking
about?Copy !req
376. We don't mean that.
What are you doing?Copy !req
377. It's a bargaining position.
We get Thursdays and
Wednesdays.Copy !req
378. But I don't want Thursdays!
I want to parle Italiano
on Thursdays.Copy !req
379. Sort it out, Mark.Copy !req
380. Brilliant party. Make mine a
childcare and tonic.Copy !req
381. Oh, great. Reptile abuse.
Others get raided by the
police.Copy !req
382. I get raided by the World
Wide
Fund For Nature.Copy !req
383. Fuck you.Copy !req
384. That'll teach her to write
four or five-line poems.Copy !req
385. Look at all that brilliant
crying.Copy !req
386. There's another way out of
all this, if you do the decent
thing.Copy !req
387. The decent thing?Copy !req
388. There's still a... remnant
of feeling between you.Copy !req
389. I could make life comfortable
for you. Give you a job at the
seed firm... light duties.Copy !req
390. You'll do all right on 40K,
living in Nana's cottage
with your wife and child.Copy !req
391. Is your client on board?Copy !req
392. Oh, I think I can persuade
Sophie to take this seriously.Copy !req
393. Maybe I'd be happy,
driving the seed van around,Copy !req
394. with my country cottage
and my family,Copy !req
395. reading the Sunday Times.Copy !req
396. It's so thick I can not talk
to anyone all day Sunday.Copy !req
397. Monday to Friday, work
and property shows and red
wine.Copy !req
398. If I can just figure out
Saturdays, maybe it would all
be OK.Copy !req
399. We'd need 50K... and an
extension on the cottage.Copy !req
400. 45K and the van.Copy !req
401. - Done.
- What?Copy !req
402. Shall we shake on it, Mark?Copy !req
403. Should I shake the man-hand?Copy !req
404. Gerard? Fucking hell! Are you
all right? What the hell are
you doing in there?Copy !req
405. - Jeremy said I need a
lie-down.
- That was nice.Copy !req
406. Come on. I'll take you home.Copy !req
407. No, don't take him home.
He's fine. He's just had a bit
of a disco nap,Copy !req
408. Now he's ready to par-tay,
aren't you, Gerard?Copy !req
409. Are you all right to stand up
on your own?Copy !req
410. I think... If you wouldn't
mind... just holding me for a
bit.Copy !req
411. Oh, for God's sake.Copy !req
412. Could you call us a cab,
please?Copy !req
413. The same cab? But...Copy !req
414. But you live in Catford and
Gerard lives in Balham. That's
miles apart.Copy !req
415. It's illogical. It's crazy.Copy !req
416. I want to make sure he's OK.Copy !req
417. Plus, late-night minicabs...Copy !req
418. They're licensed. Dobby is not
about to get raped,Copy !req
419. if that's what you're trying
to imply. So let's cut the
bullshit.Copy !req
420. It would be more fun going home
together...Copy !req
421. Oh, right, now we get down to
it.Copy !req
422. They are not going to have
a better time going home than
at my party.Copy !req
423. Hello, yes. I'd like two cabs,
please. I need two cabs -Copy !req
424. one going to Catford
and one separate oneCopy !req
425. going in a completely
different direction, to
Balham.Copy !req
426. What's going on?Copy !req
427. Gail just asked Elena to marry
her.Copy !req
428. - She's got a proper hetero ring
and everything!
- Wow.Copy !req
429. Oh, God, she's grasping at
straws. This will be so
embarrassing.Copy !req
430. Yes!Copy !req
431. She said yes?Copy !req
432. But... maybe she thinks "no"
is "yes" in English?Copy !req
433. Jeremy!Copy !req
434. Isn't this amazing?Copy !req
435. This really is amazing.Copy !req
436. Oh, God. She's the best thing
I've ever had in my life and I
thought she was slipping away.Copy !req
437. - You can't know how bad that
felt.
- Mm.Copy !req
438. Champagne.Copy !req
439. What the fuck?Copy !req
440. - Whoops!
- Whoops?Copy !req
441. Oh, the thing is, she gave me
this ring and it was so
romantic!Copy !req
442. God, this is so weird!
Is this all right?Copy !req
443. It just feels so right!Copy !req
444. She's so suggestible.Copy !req
445. Like a sexy robot anyone
can hack into and program.Copy !req
446. There it goes. Lesbian kiss.
And no-one minds.Copy !req
447. Where have all the homophobes
gone when you need them?
People are so fickle.Copy !req
448. What are we celebrating?Copy !req
449. Gail and Elena just got
engaged.Copy !req
450. If it makes you feel any
better, Dobby and Gerard
are leaving together.Copy !req
451. Right. Who's got my rental
snake? I'm gonna lose my
deposit.Copy !req
452. In the salad spinner?Copy !req
453. Empty. We need to find him
while he's still dizzy.Copy !req
454. If he gets his shit together,
he is gonna be pissed off.Copy !req
455. Oh, brilliant. So there's a
snake at large in my flat.Copy !req
456. I have to buy a mongoose now,
to hunt it.Copy !req
457. If your mongoose eats my
snake, I will sue.Copy !req
458. So now I have to flat-share
with Jeremy and a snake.Copy !req
459. Still, there's a way out.Copy !req
460. Nana's cottage. The seed van.Copy !req
461. Could get a dog.
What would I call it?
Warwick Kingmaker?Copy !req
462. Lambert Simnel?Copy !req
463. Too arch. Former Foreign
Secretary Lord Carrington?Copy !req
464. Oh, God. This is all too
much. This all too bloody
much.Copy !req
465. Jez, I think I might have
a bong hit.Copy !req
466. A bong hit?Copy !req
467. Yes. I organized this whole
party and I haven't had a
single bit of fun all night.Copy !req
468. So yes, I want a bong hit.Copy !req
469. Light it there and inhale
there?Copy !req
470. You've been watching.Copy !req
471. Mm, maybe he'll become a
pothead and he can start
buying the stash.Copy !req
472. Are you OK?Copy !req
473. Fine. Fine.
It's... it's not affecting me.Copy !req
474. It's not affecting me at all.
Actually... I think I am
beginning to feel something.Copy !req
475. - Yeah?
- I'm beginning to feel great!Copy !req
476. - Great.
- I'm having a good time!Copy !req
477. I'm enjoying my party!Copy !req
478. Sophie, I'll sign whatever
you want, but I don't want a
dog!Copy !req
479. A dog? What dog?Copy !req
480. I don't want Carrington.
I want...Copy !req
481. Dobby!Copy !req
482. Dobby! Don't go!
Stay here and... marry me!Copy !req
483. - What?
- Marry me!Copy !req
484. I feel fan... terrible.Copy !req
485. It's still there! Where's a
puke point?Copy !req
486. Puke point three!Copy !req
487. Snake!Copy !req
488. Poor guy. I'm not even
gonna mention that he was
snitty about my puke points.Copy !req
489. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, everyone.Copy !req
490. Come on, Gerard.Copy !req
491. Gerard gets Dobby and
I get a pukey bucket of
snake.Copy !req
492. You are paying for that snake
to be dry-cleaned.Copy !req
493. I bet you probably can get
reptiles dry-cleaned. That's
the world we're living in.Copy !req
494. Oh, what a disaster.Copy !req
495. Love is all you need?
No, actually, Beatles.Copy !req
496. You also need a person
to do it with, Beatles.Copy !req
497. Shit!Copy !req
498. Hello, Jeremy.Copy !req
499. Oh, great. Could turn her
down.Copy !req
500. Yeah, dream on.
Second lay of the night.Copy !req
501. This is the worst party ever.Copy !req