1. - So what? We're awkward now?
- Nope.Copy !req
2. Who's awkward?Copy !req
3. Well, I'm not the one
who's moping around all dayCopy !req
4. and calling people whores just
because they were talking to Rick Fox.Copy !req
5. Roman called you a whore,
I never called you a whore.Copy !req
6. - That's what you were thinking.
- Alright, well, you were flirtingCopy !req
7. - quite a bit.
- Yeah. Who cares?Copy !req
8. Do you care about that, 'cause I thought
we agreed that this was casualCopy !req
9. and this was no hang up, so...Copy !req
10. if you wanna turn this into the sameCopy !req
11. miserable, jealous bullshit,
then like,Copy !req
12. let me know,
'cause I didn't sign up for that.Copy !req
13. Me neither, ma'am.Copy !req
14. Alright, so you're still mad at me too,
I guess.Copy !req
15. No, I'm having a wonderful day.Copy !req
16. I told you there was a line.Copy !req
17. Alright, so I'm supposed
to hold off on CaseyCopy !req
18. until you sleep with her first.
Is that how it is?Copy !req
19. Now you get it.
Yes, that's exactly what that means.Copy !req
20. I heard all that,
you crazy lunatics.Copy !req
21. - Maybe stop talking about me.
- You know...Copy !req
22. - Good work!
- Fuckin' asshole. That's so all you.Copy !req
23. You don't shit where you eat, buddy.Copy !req
24. You're just pissed
because I shat where I ateCopy !req
25. and now you wanna eat at that same
restaurant where I was shitting.Copy !req
26. Who, Casey? Come on, guys.
When you makin' a movie,Copy !req
27. stars hook-up all the time.
And everybody is cool with that.Copy !req
28. Shit where you eat,
what does it even mean?Copy !req
29. Well, it's all about
the circle of life, Kyle.Copy !req
30. It's that we're all a part
of this universal cycle.Copy !req
31. Okay, so like, life and death...Copy !req
32. Regeneration.
Okay, like Hinduism?Copy !req
33. - Exactly.
- What the fuck is wrong with you two?Copy !req
34. It means you don't shitCopy !req
35. in the same facility
that you're eating in.Copy !req
36. Because you may, at some point,
eat you own shit.Copy !req
37. Okay. Is this part still about me?
Because if it is,Copy !req
38. I swear to God,
I'm gonna freak the fuck out!Copy !req
39. Party Down
S01E08Copy !req
40. You don't have the poster
above your bed?Copy !req
41. - No, I don't like that fucking movie.
- Fuck Close Encounters.Copy !req
42. When they do arrive on Earth,Copy !req
43. they're not gonna be cute
and snugly.Copy !req
44. They're gonna be
a super advanced societyCopy !req
45. and we're gonna be fuckin' ants
to them, they're not gonna singCopy !req
46. and wave and friends, watch your foes.
It's not gonna be a fuckin' musical.Copy !req
47. They're gonna take himCopy !req
48. and everyone else
and feed us at the giant processorsCopy !req
49. and strain us for our chemicals.Copy !req
50. - You don't know that.
- Shut the fuck up.Copy !req
51. - Ding.
- Not you.Copy !req
52. Houmous?Copy !req
53. Who the fuck are these Nimrods?Copy !req
54. Okay, everyone,Copy !req
55. to Ricky!Copy !req
56. Congratulations!Copy !req
57. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
58. Congratulations for what?Copy !req
59. He probably just get
a new velour sweatsuit.Copy !req
60. You work here?Copy !req
61. - Bartending tonight.
- Good to know the bartender.Copy !req
62. These things are so boring.Copy !req
63. I'm Ula.Copy !req
64. - Henry.
- Rhum and Coke, my drink.Copy !req
65. So when you see me coming...Copy !req
66. I'll be ready.Copy !req
67. You have a nice eyes, Henry.Copy !req
68. So...Copy !req
69. you wanna talk?Copy !req
70. - About what?
- You and Henry. And the fighting.Copy !req
71. - No, there is no really me and Henry.
- Let me tell you a story.Copy !req
72. I was once involded
in a workplace romance.Copy !req
73. It kinda got out of hand.
It was a sex explosion.Copy !req
74. It's really the only way
I can describe it.Copy !req
75. We did it constantly, in vans,Copy !req
76. in bathrooms, in the bushes.
It was non stop sex.Copy !req
77. - Hello? Is this work?
- This is work-related, Ron.Copy !req
78. We fucked in the sink,
we fucked in the dinghy.Copy !req
79. - What does this have to do with work?
- Or with anything?Copy !req
80. Henry and Casey are fighting
and it's starting to affect our work.Copy !req
81. - That is a lie...
- Now, is it a performance issueCopy !req
82. because sometimes, really nice guys
can have a hard time seeing girlsCopy !req
83. - like you and me as fuck objects.
- Casey,Copy !req
84. I just wish you'd have consulted with me
before you did anything with Henry.Copy !req
85. I actually have a little experience
with workplace romance myself...Copy !req
86. You do? With who?Copy !req
87. - Sure I do, with Marina.
- Marina?Copy !req
88. The girl with the superpose hair
right up here?Copy !req
89. And the interesting personality.Copy !req
90. It's just not a good idea, I mean,
in the workplace, things get tensed,Copy !req
91. relationships get strained.Copy !req
92. - You argue, you get hit.
- Okay, I have to walk away.Copy !req
93. - I'll talk to her later.
- You get hit.Copy !req
94. Ron, you told me
you stepped on a rake.Copy !req
95. I got hit by a rake.Copy !req
96. Hey, man.Copy !req
97. What's up guys?Copy !req
98. You know who this guy
look just like?Copy !req
99. He look just like
that bastard who takeCopy !req
100. guys' virginity
and leave for a dance.Copy !req
101. Wait, you guys watch Idol Academy?Copy !req
102. My man, yeah, absolutely!Copy !req
103. 52 inches LCD flat screen with 5.1 dolby
surround High Def. We see everything.Copy !req
104. It's the only way to watch it.Copy !req
105. I can't believe this guy
is at our party. Come on drinks with us.Copy !req
106. Napoleon Dynamite!Copy !req
107. - Is he in Napoleon Dynamite?
- Fuck no!Copy !req
108. No, he's just a writer.
Don't worry about him.Copy !req
109. He knows Brandy?Copy !req
110. Yeah. Hurry up, two!Copy !req
111. These guys are officially assholes.Copy !req
112. And creepy!Copy !req
113. This one guy's been staring at me
all night.Copy !req
114. If they like you,
it is proof that you suck!Copy !req
115. People are fucking idiot!Copy !req
116. Them hating me
is a like a badge of honor.Copy !req
117. I like you, Roman.Copy !req
118. This is just for staff, back here.Copy !req
119. I need to ask you a question.Copy !req
120. Are you the actress
Constance Carmel?Copy !req
121. - How did you know that?
- Because I can't forget your film.Copy !req
122. This scene is burned in my memory.Copy !req
123. We watch through the eyes
of innocent boys.Copy !req
124. They're looking through the leaves
of summer at the lake in the woods...Copy !req
125. And as they watch,
a vision rises from the water.Copy !req
126. A beautiful woman.Copy !req
127. Naked.Copy !req
128. Her body glistening in the sun.Copy !req
129. Unashamed.Copy !req
130. - You saw Dingle Berries?
- A hundred times.Copy !req
131. Rhum and coke!Copy !req
132. - You're a good bartender.
- Thanks.Copy !req
133. I'm bored again.Copy !req
134. Meet me for a cigaret?Copy !req
135. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
136. Great, another one for you.
Give me a water.Copy !req
137. Just making Casey jealous
or some shit?Copy !req
138. - Whatever.
- You're still on my shit list butCopy !req
139. if you and Casey are kaputnick,
maybe you could help meCopy !req
140. catch her on a rebound,
give me some... tips.Copy !req
141. Kinky thing she's into,
maybe she likes feet or...Copy !req
142. Yeah, feet, that's a good one.
Go for the feet.Copy !req
143. You watch the bar,
just for a few minutes?Copy !req
144. What if I say no, now?Copy !req
145. - Brandy.
- Jeez! What?Copy !req
146. You're a writer, yeah?Copy !req
147. Yeah, mostly... hard sci-fi.Copy !req
148. You read my script, yeah?
You give me notes.Copy !req
149. Look, man, I don't just give
random ass people...Copy !req
150. who pull out a gun.Copy !req
151. Don't fuck with me.Copy !req
152. - Do it!
- I'll read it.Copy !req
153. But every week,Copy !req
154. the same boring people.Copy !req
155. Every week.Copy !req
156. That seems interesting...Copy !req
157. So, I smell nice?Copy !req
158. Yeah, very nice.Copy !req
159. My breathe okay?Copy !req
160. Very minty.Copy !req
161. That's just Muky.
Muky? Go away!Copy !req
162. I was a smuggler, you know,
in the old country.Copy !req
163. Sometimes, we spend months
in the shade in the woods.Copy !req
164. We like a shade in the whole...Copy !req
165. You don't have word
for this in English.Copy !req
166. To get through the long nights,
we have only the tapes and Blapouie.Copy !req
167. Blapouie, what's blapouie?Copy !req
168. A drink you make in a bucket
with leaves and yoghurt and antifreeze.Copy !req
169. - Sounds so exotic.
- It's horrible.Copy !req
170. But the tapes...Copy !req
171. We watch over and over...Copy !req
172. - Dingle Berries.
- Yes.Copy !req
173. - Walnuts.
- Yes.Copy !req
174. - And Scream Weaver.
- No?Copy !req
175. - Yes.
- Constance, where're the plates?Copy !req
176. There's supposed to be plates
at the buffet.Copy !req
177. - So do plates, we're talking.
- Scream Weaver?Copy !req
178. No personal business on what?Copy !req
179. Insect, leave us!Copy !req
180. I will cut off your face...Copy !req
181. I get the plates... I get...Copy !req
182. - So, where were we?
- We were talking about Scream Weaver".Copy !req
183. Awesome!Copy !req
184. Catch up with you guys in like five.Copy !req
185. - His friends are jerk.
- What? Those guys are awesome.Copy !req
186. Kyle, are you drunk?Copy !req
187. Some fans got around the shots.Copy !req
188. Are we movie stars, No.
We're party professionals.Copy !req
189. How come Roman and I
are the only ones doing any work?Copy !req
190. Because they don't known who you are.
I think they're just lovely.Copy !req
191. I will introduce you to Ricky,
you're gonna love him.Copy !req
192. - He's awesome.
- You know how awesome he is?Copy !req
193. - It's an awesome fucking murderer.
- What?Copy !req
194. He gave me a script.
His name was on it, "Rico Sargulesh".Copy !req
195. I googled it.
Apparently he just got acquitted for...Copy !req
196. murdering someone.
They couldn't convict him becauseCopy !req
197. all they found was a fuckin foot,
man!Copy !req
198. That's why "Congratulations Ricky ".Copy !req
199. Congratulations
for getting away with murder.Copy !req
200. I'm sorry,
did you just say he was acquitted?Copy !req
201. Well, then... that means he's innocent.
Kind of.Copy !req
202. - It's in the Constitution.
- You know who you are?Copy !req
203. Does this name sound familiar:
Johannes Heesters?Copy !req
204. Hitler's favorite actor.Copy !req
205. - Why do you know that?
- I retain information.Copy !req
206. You're the one with the problem.
That's weird.Copy !req
207. Zoltan said that the water drops
glistening in the sunlight off my breastCopy !req
208. made him cry.Copy !req
209. Murderers don't have poetry like that
in their soul.Copy !req
210. You have a second?Copy !req
211. - We want to talk.
- We?Copy !req
212. You are bartender here, yeah?Copy !req
213. Oh no... I mean...Copy !req
214. Yes, tonight just not...
regularly...Copy !req
215. all the time, like, every night.Copy !req
216. - We're kind of...
- It's good way to pick up chicks, yeah?Copy !req
217. Like that one.Copy !req
218. - You like that one?
- Oh, no.Copy !req
219. - She's my girlfriend.
- Oh, yeah? That's cool.Copy !req
220. Muky told me that you...Copy !req
221. You put the moves on her,
my girlfriend.Copy !req
222. No, I wouldn't do that.Copy !req
223. Why, because she's unattractive,
my girlfriend?Copy !req
224. No, she's attractive.
I just... She's not my type, you know?Copy !req
225. I'm kind into blonds.Copy !req
226. I like the blonds.Copy !req
227. And also I have a girlfriend.Copy !req
228. I have a girl...
We're actually... We're engaged.Copy !req
229. - We're engaged?
- We're...Copy !req
230. We're engaged.Copy !req
231. To be married.
And I mean, we're still working.Copy !req
232. It's not official, like I'm so looking
for a ring and all that...Copy !req
233. All that stuff. But we're very much
in love with each other.Copy !req
234. - I love you.
- She's your fiancée?Copy !req
235. Yeah, so I would never, you know.Copy !req
236. - She's not blond.
- She's not.Copy !req
237. - But she has a terrific personality.
- Cool, see ya.Copy !req
238. So I feel like we're a good match.Copy !req
239. - For now.
- So you guys are pretty serious?Copy !req
240. It's great.Copy !req
241. You know, we have our ups and downs
and everything but...Copy !req
242. Okay, I got it!Copy !req
243. It's been driving me crazy,
the beer ad!Copy !req
244. "Are we having fun yet? "Copy !req
245. - You look like that guy!
- I am that guy.Copy !req
246. - What?
- Get the fuck out of here!Copy !req
247. - That's me.
- Go ahead, do it!Copy !req
248. You want me do it?Copy !req
249. "Are we having fun yet? "Copy !req
250. - It was you!
- Rudy!Copy !req
251. - Do it again!
- You wanna see it?Copy !req
252. "Are we having fun yet? "Copy !req
253. - I don't believe it!
- I'm the regular guy.Copy !req
254. It's that guy and his fiancée!Copy !req
255. Yeah! Henry!Copy !req
256. Henry Pollard.Copy !req
257. - Nice to meet you.
- Casey KleinCopy !req
258. but soon to be Pollard.Copy !req
259. I know it! She's a...Copy !req
260. Stand-up Showdown, uh?Copy !req
261. You did not see Stand-up Showdown.Copy !req
262. That was on, like, years...
Nobody saw that.Copy !req
263. I saw it on TV. So funny!Copy !req
264. Celebrity couple!Copy !req
265. You have Brad, Angelina,
working at your party!Copy !req
266. Brandy, brandy!Copy !req
267. Cognac and bring glasses.Copy !req
268. You read script?Copy !req
269. - No, I didn't read it yet, sir.
- Bring bottles.Copy !req
270. Then read script.Copy !req
271. - Do it!
- "Are we having fun yet? "Copy !req
272. So I'm standing there,Copy !req
273. in half a string bikini...Copy !req
274. - Here you go, sweet.
- Thanks.Copy !req
275. Covered in fake blood,Copy !req
276. and I've got this harpoon thing
through my neckCopy !req
277. and Dom walks in.Copy !req
278. I don't know if you remember that.Copy !req
279. Dom De Luise.Copy !req
280. You, more brandy.Copy !req
281. So Dom walks on the set,
he looks at meCopy !req
282. he turns around to the makeup lady
and he says,Copy !req
283. "I'll have what she's having. "Copy !req
284. And the nice of all,
they make mine a double!Copy !req
285. God, the coke was so good,
back then.Copy !req
286. Dom De Luise himself,
it's incredible!Copy !req
287. Same, please.
Go, go now.Copy !req
288. Move.
Tell us more.Copy !req
289. Well, it was my first safe shooting.
I'm going to the commissaryCopy !req
290. and I lock eyes
with Jan Michael Vincent.Copy !req
291. What the fuck was that?Copy !req
292. It's this girl
who was flirting with me.Copy !req
293. It turns out it's Ricky's girlfriend.
And Ricky might be a murderer.Copy !req
294. - I'm just trying to stay alive.
- Which girl?Copy !req
295. - Which? Just some girl.
- What do you mean "flirting with you"?Copy !req
296. - Flirting.
- Like touching youCopy !req
297. - or like talking?
- Just flirting.Copy !req
298. - Why do you care?
- I don't care.Copy !req
299. Come on, you wanna take this shit
elsewhere? I'm trying to work here.Copy !req
300. Shut up, Roman.Copy !req
301. So if just for tonight,Copy !req
302. you could pretend
that we're in a regular relationshipCopy !req
303. without, like, craziness...Copy !req
304. Maybe if you could
refrain from flirtingCopy !req
305. with every gross girl
that's at every party.Copy !req
306. Maybe you could refrain
from flirting.Copy !req
307. Nice come back.Copy !req
308. Really?Copy !req
309. You have to help me, I'm dying here.
And these guys won't let anybody help...Copy !req
310. "Are we having fun yet? "Copy !req
311. My favorite couple.Copy !req
312. Bring us bottle.
Let's go. Come on, let's dance.Copy !req
313. Dancing!Copy !req
314. What are you doing?
I'm all by myself out there.Copy !req
315. Ricky made me read his script.Copy !req
316. These guys are assholes.Copy !req
317. - How's his script?
- It's terrible.Copy !req
318. Listen to this.Copy !req
319. Crowjar.
The fucking hero's nameCopy !req
320. is Crowjar.Copy !req
321. Crowjar?Copy !req
322. "You betray me.
You are lower than animal. "Copy !req
323. And there's no articles,
This thing's terribly written.Copy !req
324. "Gobi on ground cries like woman.Copy !req
325. "Crowjar puts gun down.
I will kill youCopy !req
326. "like man with hands.Copy !req
327. "Gobi criesCopy !req
328. "and Crowjar takes knife and first
cuts off head and then all parts.Copy !req
329. "And puts him in bags
and goes to the sea. "Copy !req
330. That should be a new fucking scene.Copy !req
331. "And puts Gobi in the water deep
where no one will find. "Copy !req
332. - As you see...
- You're not kidding. That is terrible.Copy !req
333. - No, this is what happened.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
334. This is basically a badly written
and poorly plotted confession.Copy !req
335. - My God.
- Yeah, and that's not all.Copy !req
336. In the end, he finds the guy
who squeals on him.Copy !req
337. And kills him too.Copy !req
338. A fat guy with glasses.Copy !req
339. Here we go.Copy !req
340. "Mulak is fat man
with womanish glasses.Copy !req
341. "Because eyes like heart is weak. "Copy !req
342. Fat guy with glasses.Copy !req
343. Fat guy with glasses.Copy !req
344. You know, acting is like crime.Copy !req
345. But instead of using guns or clubs,Copy !req
346. I assault you with emotions.Copy !req
347. Or even knifes.Copy !req
348. Knive, that's right!Copy !req
349. What, is that your girlfriend
over there?Copy !req
350. - Yeah!
- What a Euro-trashCopy !req
351. piece of work.Copy !req
352. You know, this is starting to feel
a little bit like jealousy.Copy !req
353. - Cause I thought we were...
- I'm observing.Copy !req
354. Do it again, yes?Copy !req
355. All right, "Are we having fun yet? "Copy !req
356. What's he doing?Copy !req
357. These are my spoons.
Can I have some...Copy !req
358. Relax.Copy !req
359. - What are you doing?
- Stop the music.Copy !req
360. Stop the music!Copy !req
361. Men who escapeCopy !req
362. as I did,Copy !req
363. from Jerusalem.Copy !req
364. You understandCopy !req
365. which things really matter:Copy !req
366. honour,Copy !req
367. friends,Copy !req
368. women, and...Copy !req
369. celebrities!
Let's hear for Hollywood celebrities!Copy !req
370. You make us laugh!Copy !req
371. You make us cry!
You do justCopy !req
372. what it means to be human.Copy !req
373. Henry and Casey,Copy !req
374. our lives are complicated, yes.Copy !req
375. But there are things we know
that are greater than complications!Copy !req
376. Loving, companionship.Copy !req
377. This special somebodyCopy !req
378. who keep life from becomingCopy !req
379. vast,Copy !req
380. - dark...
- Just do it.Copy !req
381. Pit of despair.Copy !req
382. Nothing else matters!Copy !req
383. And so, I...
I take from your example.Copy !req
384. I turn to UlaCopy !req
385. and say, "Ula, will you be my wife? "Copy !req
386. Ula, will you be my wife?Copy !req
387. Party back on, music!Copy !req
388. I've got a Joan Van Ark story
for you that will blow your mind.Copy !req
389. But first, I have to take a leak.Copy !req
390. No, not now. I am your slave!Copy !req
391. Good. We need cheeses and brandies.Copy !req
392. Actually, sir, I need to talk to youCopy !req
393. about something. It's fairly...Copy !req
394. What do you need
to talk to me about?Copy !req
395. Constance left something
very special for youCopy !req
396. in the kitchen,Copy !req
397. she wants to be discreet.Copy !req
398. Is it underwear?Copy !req
399. It's in the kitchen.Copy !req
400. - Roman, Roman.
- So, where is it?Copy !req
401. - Is it underwear?
- No, it's...Copy !req
402. - We have to tell you something.
- What do you have to tell me?Copy !req
403. It has come to our attention,Copy !req
404. - I mean, that you might be...
- He's gonna kill you!Copy !req
405. - What?
- Ricky's gonna saw your head off.Copy !req
406. - Clean off.
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
407. It's all in here.Copy !req
408. Ricky thinks you ratted him out
about Gobi.Copy !req
409. - Who?
- The guy that Ricky killed.Copy !req
410. I don't know that for sure.Copy !req
411. Well, he's acquitted,
it means "innocent".Copy !req
412. - It's all in here.
- We know that.Copy !req
413. - I can't find it.
- It's right here.Copy !req
414. Okay, look, look.Copy !req
415. It's at the bottom.Copy !req
416. Fat man with womanish glasses.Copy !req
417. - No offense.
- That's you. I mean... Not the...Copy !req
418. Sorry.Copy !req
419. No, I don't think they're womanish.
He wrote that. Ricky wrote it.Copy !req
420. I don't feel really good.Copy !req
421. Ricky, he's got a knife!Copy !req
422. He's got a knife! Ricky!
He read the script, Rick!Copy !req
423. Zoltan, no.Copy !req
424. They think you're going to kill me.Copy !req
425. - What do you mean?
- In your script,Copy !req
426. it says
they kill fat guy with glassesCopy !req
427. - and they thought...
- That it is you?Copy !req
428. I kill you, I kill you, I kill you!Copy !req
429. I kill you back, I kill you back,
I kill you back!Copy !req
430. He's my oldest friend.
I'm not going to kill him!Copy !req
431. - That's good.
- It's just script.Copy !req
432. It's make believe.Copy !req
433. - Fiction.
- Hey, flat top, Cognac!Copy !req
434. Hey, alright...Copy !req
435. So, you read it?Copy !req
436. - What do you think?
- I loved it, I really...Copy !req
437. really liked it. That's great.Copy !req
438. What is your favorite part?Copy !req
439. You know, there are so many good...Copy !req
440. parts when MulakCopy !req
441. grabs his mother by the throatCopy !req
442. and throws her out the windowCopy !req
443. on the house, and...Copy !req
444. - it...
- What else?Copy !req
445. When Mulak makes his grandmother
pick up the food that he dropped.Copy !req
446. How was the syntax?Copy !req
447. So maybe we can just call it even,
you know. Cause...Copy !req
448. - Like I flirted, and then you flirted.
- No.Copy !req
449. - So?
- Definitely not.Copy !req
450. - Why not?
- Because you totallyCopy !req
451. made out with that girl!Copy !req
452. - Muky told me everything.
- What?Copy !req
453. - Busted!
- So, I guess you're up one.Copy !req
454. - Sorry.
- Except not really,Copy !req
455. cause I made out with Rick Fox.Copy !req
456. - You did?
- A little bit.Copy !req
457. Okay? Add me on MySpace, you know.Copy !req
458. I'm gonna start using it
as a fansite, so...Copy !req
459. - Great.
- What a glorious night, Zoltan!Copy !req
460. Okay. Feel my heart.Copy !req
461. It beats for you.Copy !req
462. So wonderful meeting you.Copy !req
463. - I'm going to watch Dingle Berries.
- Do, do!Copy !req
464. Okay, okay, tell me, tell me.Copy !req
465. What else is good?Copy !req
466. The part when...Copy !req
467. he, the character,Copy !req
468. cuts off Gobi's nuts,Copy !req
469. and shows them to him and saysCopy !req
470. "You nuts. "
But I think you meant "You are nuts. "Copy !req
471. - Minor grammatical error.
- Ricky! Let's go, man!Copy !req
472. Come on!Copy !req
473. That's my favorite part too.
You like all best part.Copy !req
474. Thank you very much for notes.Copy !req
475. I send you next draft.Copy !req
476. Wrong fat guy with glasses!Copy !req