1. Pawnee is, as you all know,Copy !req
2. the fourth most
obese city in America.Copy !req
3. Soon to be number three. We're coming for you,
San Antonio.Copy !req
4. No, we are not.
We are slimming down.Copy !req
5. Starting right
here at City Hall.Copy !req
6. I am implementing a
government-wide health initiative.Copy !req
7. We could have a City Hall
dodgeball league!Copy !req
8. I have first pick,
and my pick is Ron.Copy !req
9. Great idea!
Keep 'em coming.Copy !req
10. Now, if anybody would like to join me,
I will be running backwardsCopy !req
11. up the big hill
behind the Walmart.Copy !req
12. Don't freak out,
but Joe from SewageCopy !req
13. just unhooked your
bra with his eyes.Copy !req
14. What?Copy !req
15. Oh, boy.Copy !req
16. Hi, Joe.
What's up, Knope?Copy !req
17. Looking good these days.
What do you say?Copy !req
18. Van's out back.
Let's roll.Copy !req
19. Where is this coming from?Copy !req
20. I don't know. You're
putting out some vibe today.Copy !req
21. It's just driving me
crazy.Copy !req
22. Listen, if you're
looking for a good time,Copy !req
23. why don't you come on down
to the Toilet Party?Copy !req
24. That's what we call
the Sewage Department.Copy !req
25. Great. Okay.Copy !req
26. Liking the view.Copy !req
27. Still got it, Joe.
No, you don't.Copy !req
28. Christopher.
Got a second?Copy !req
29. Oh, hey, Ron.Copy !req
30. Listen. I've eaten
a commissary hamburgerCopy !req
31. for lunch every
day for 12 years.Copy !req
32. I just wanted to make sure this
pointless health crusade won't affectCopy !req
33. the only part of
my job that I like.Copy !req
34. Oh, no,
those hamburgers are gone.Copy !req
35. Red meat can cause sluggishness,
heart disease, even impotence.Copy !req
36. Has the opposite
effect on me.Copy !req
37. You ever tried
a turkey burger?Copy !req
38. Is that a fried turkey leg
inside a grilled hamburger?Copy !req
39. If so, yes. Delicious.Copy !req
40. A turkey burger. You take lean,
ground turkey meat,Copy !req
41. you make that into a burger
instead of red meat.Copy !req
42. Why would anyone
do that to themselves?Copy !req
43. What if I told you that I could make
a turkey burger that tastes betterCopy !req
44. than any other
burger you've ever had?Copy !req
45. Challenge accepted. Cook-off
later today in the courtyard.Copy !req
46. If I win, hamburgers remain
in the commissary.Copy !req
47. What do I get if I win?Copy !req
48. The rarest jewel of all.
Victory over me, Ron Swanson.Copy !req
49. I like that.Copy !req
50. We're on.Copy !req
51. You know, I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I actually checked outCopy !req
52. that snow globe museum
that you recommended,Copy !req
53. and it was pretty awesome.Copy !req
54. Yeah.
I have to say.Copy !req
55. I mean, I did get in
trouble for shaking one...Copy !req
56. Yeah, I'm not
allowed there anymore.Copy !req
57. So, I have some ideas
for the health initiative.Copy !req
58. Oh, okay.
How about I swing by laterCopy !req
59. and we'll just, you know,
we'll go over everything?Copy !req
60. Or we could go out
after work.Copy !req
61. You know, go to J.J.'s or something,
grab a bite?Copy !req
62. Um, I don't think I can.Copy !req
63. But why don't we just talk about it later,
in this building?Copy !req
64. Okay? All right.Copy !req
65. But,
you're great. And you have great ideas. And...Copy !req
66. Uh...Copy !req
67. Bye.Copy !req
68. Bye, babe.Copy !req
69. Hey, I brought this cholesterol
testing kit for the health thing.Copy !req
70. Okay, let's do it. So,
I asked Ben out to dinner and he said no.Copy !req
71. What?
Yeah.Copy !req
72. He seemed really into you.
What did he say exactly?Copy !req
73. He was like,
"Huh? What? Uh... Bye."Copy !req
74. And then,
he walked into an office that wasn't his.Copy !req
75. You know what? If he doesn't
want to go out with you, he's nuts.Copy !req
76. You're awesome,
and there's a million other guys out there.Copy !req
77. I have been having so much fun
just dating a bunch of people.Copy !req
78. I know. Who was that guy
you were talking to out there?Copy !req
79. And then also kissing?Copy !req
80. I was... Crap on a crayfish.
That really stings.Copy !req
81. I haven't
pricked you, yet.Copy !req
82. Oh, sorry.
I was just picturing it.Copy !req
83. You know what? Maybe
you need to cast a wider net.Copy !req
84. Have you thought
about Internet dating?Copy !req
85. Really? I don't think that's
for me. You're a monster.Copy !req
86. Still haven't
done it, yet.Copy !req
87. You know what? I'll help
you set up a profile. It'll be fun.Copy !req
88. All right. Yeah,
let's do it. Okay. Good. I'm glad that's over.Copy !req
89. Oh, it's not.Copy !req
90. you, Ann!Copy !req
91. Who the hell is Forp?Copy !req
92. I don't know.
I couldn't really hear him.Copy !req
93. It sounded like
his name was Forp.Copy !req
94. Get his number?
No.Copy !req
95. Good girl.Copy !req
96. Ron Swanson. April Ludgate.Copy !req
97. Hey, I'm just gonna pop over
to Grain 'N SimpleCopy !req
98. to get the very
best ingredientsCopy !req
99. for my burger.
Do you wanna come?Copy !req
100. What is Grain 'N Simple?Copy !req
101. It's a health food store.Copy !req
102. Pawnee doesn't have
a health food store.Copy !req
103. No, but Snerling does. And
it's only a 40-minute drive.Copy !req
104. What are you doing, Andy?Copy !req
105. I'm getting healthier snacks
for the shoeshine stand.Copy !req
106. Chris is a food genius.Copy !req
107. Did you know that the food
you eat becomes energy?Copy !req
108. Yeah. Boom.
That's spaghetti.Copy !req
109. Nachos. That's a cookie.Copy !req
110. That's my husband.Copy !req
111. See you tomorrow?
Okay.Copy !req
112. Is that a different guy
from earlier?Copy !req
113. What?
Never mind.Copy !req
114. You ready to
rock this profile?Copy !req
115. All right.Copy !req
116. Yellow-haired female.Copy !req
117. Likes waffles and news.Copy !req
118. Sexy, well-read blonde.
Loves the sweeter things in life.Copy !req
119. Much better.
Hobbies?Copy !req
120. Organizing my agenda.
Wait, that doesn't sound fun.Copy !req
121. Jamming on my planner.Copy !req
122. Favorite place?Copy !req
123. Upstairs, there is
this mural of wildflowers.Copy !req
124. And I like to sit on
a bench in front of it.Copy !req
125. Really? It could be
anywhere in the world.Copy !req
126. Paris, Hawaii,
the Grand Canyon.Copy !req
127. Nope. Just the bench
in front of the mural.Copy !req
128. What about, like,
an actual meadow where wildflowers are?Copy !req
129. Eww, Ann.
I'm scared of bees. Mural.Copy !req
130. Okay. What do you
think of dogs?Copy !req
131. Love.Copy !req
132. Cats?
Love.Copy !req
133. Fish?
Love.Copy !req
134. Turtles?Copy !req
135. No opinion.Copy !req
136. They're condescending.Copy !req
137. Describe your ideal man.Copy !req
138. He's dark and mysterious. And he
can sing. And he plays the organ.Copy !req
139. I think you just described
the Phantom of the Opera.Copy !req
140. Hmm.Copy !req
141. Ah, Nirvana. Hey, guys.Copy !req
142. Hey, Chris.Copy !req
143. Amber. Annie. Bill. Johnny.Copy !req
144. No. I don't plan
to buy anything here.Copy !req
145. I buy my burger ingredients
at Food and Stuff,Copy !req
146. a discount food outlet equidistant
from my home and my work.Copy !req
147. I came here for the same
reason people go to the zoo.Copy !req
148. Shh.Copy !req
149. Look at that thing.Copy !req
150. Nature is amazing.Copy !req
151. Okay.Copy !req
152. Oh, my God. A 98% match?Copy !req
153. That's
a soul mate-level match.Copy !req
154. I've never seen
anything this high before.Copy !req
155. Awesome.Copy !req
156. Okay. I know what you're
thinking. And you know what?Copy !req
157. You have to forget about Ben.
He had his chance and he blew it.Copy !req
158. This computer could have found
the future Mr. Leslie Knope.Copy !req
159. Yeah. Okay. Entire universe of guys I might date,
let's see what you got.Copy !req
160. This is Craig at hoosiermate.
com. How can I help you?Copy !req
161. Craig, your service
is crap.Copy !req
162. Can you be more specific?Copy !req
163. Yes. Your soul mate match
was totally wrong for me.Copy !req
164. I mean, I like him as a friend and everything,
but I'd never go out with him.Copy !req
165. He's like
a little sister to me.Copy !req
166. We have a very
sophisticated algorithmCopy !req
167. that's paired up
thousands of couples.Copy !req
168. I actually met my
wife on the site.Copy !req
169. Really?
Well, that's not gonna last.Copy !req
170. Excuse me?
You heard me.Copy !req
171. Your marriage is a sham. Goodbye,
Craig. No, actually...Copy !req
172. See you, sweetheart.Copy !req
173. He seems nice.Copy !req
174. Eh, he kind of lives
in a barn. What's up?Copy !req
175. What's wrong with me?
Why do good guys hate meCopy !req
176. and gross guys love me?Copy !req
177. Diagnose me.
You're a nurse.Copy !req
178. There's nothing
wrong with you.Copy !req
179. You're an intelligent, classy,
attractive woman.Copy !req
180. But for whatever reason,
right now,Copy !req
181. only douchey guys are
buying what you're selling.Copy !req
182. So, I should go and ask them
what they think I'm selling.Copy !req
183. A douche-vestigation.Copy !req
184. Nice.Copy !req
185. Hi,
Joe. I know you're gonna take this the wrong way,Copy !req
186. but can I talk to
you for a second?Copy !req
187. You can do anything to me,
for any number of seconds.Copy !req
188. Hmm.Copy !req
189. Would you like to
talk outside in my van?Copy !req
190. No, here's fine. I was flattered
by what you said earlier.Copy !req
191. And I was just wondering,
what do you look for in a woman?Copy !req
192. She can't be in a wheelchair.
No canes. No gray hair.Copy !req
193. So, basically,
you're just attracted to meCopy !req
194. because I'm not
an elderly person.Copy !req
195. Yeah. And as I aforementioned,
you have a killer dumpster.Copy !req
196. What does this do?Copy !req
197. Would you like to sample our
vegan bacon? 100% meatless.Copy !req
198. Yes, please.Copy !req
199. Another, please.Copy !req
200. Sir? Is there a problem?Copy !req
201. I'm just making sure no
one ever has to eat this.Copy !req
202. I don't think I can
give you any more.Copy !req
203. I want one.Copy !req
204. Hey.Copy !req
205. Yeah, I'm calling to
lodge a complaint aboutCopy !req
206. the seaweed and
almond under-eye creamCopy !req
207. I purchased from you guys.Copy !req
208. Oh, my problem is
it smells terrible.Copy !req
209. Yeah, I even mixed it
with anotherCopy !req
210. under-eye cream
and it still smelled.Copy !req
211. So, I ruined two eye creams.
Yes, I will hold.Copy !req
212. Forever young,
I wanna be forever youngCopy !req
213. Do you really
wanna live foreverCopy !req
214. What's this?Copy !req
215. Dragon fruit.Copy !req
216. What's this?Copy !req
217. A kiwano, or horned melon.Copy !req
218. What's this?Copy !req
219. A peach.Copy !req
220. I knew that.Copy !req
221. Wow! Fresh lettuce is
my all-time favorite food.Copy !req
222. What's your favorite food?Copy !req
223. Well, I take Skittles,
and I put it between two Starbursts.Copy !req
224. You know what I call it?
Skittle sandwich?Copy !req
225. That's pretty good. No,
I call it Andy's mouth surprise.Copy !req
226. It's nice because
the flavor of the StarburstsCopy !req
227. really bring out a similar
flavor in the Skittles.Copy !req
228. Forever young I wanna be...Copy !req
229. Hey, Tom.Copy !req
230. What's up?Copy !req
231. Do you wanna go to lunch?Copy !req
232. No, I don't really
feel like going to J.J.'s.Copy !req
233. We can go anywhere.
Your choice. I'm buying.Copy !req
234. Can I get apps
and 'zerts?Copy !req
235. 'Zerts are what
I call desserts.Copy !req
236. Tray-trays are entrees.Copy !req
237. I call sandwiches sammies,
sandoozles, or Adam Sandlers.Copy !req
238. Air conditioners are
cool blasterz, with a Z.Copy !req
239. I don't know
where that came from.Copy !req
240. I call cakes
big ol' cookies.Copy !req
241. I call noodles
long-ass rice.Copy !req
242. Fried chicken is
fry-fry chicky-chick.Copy !req
243. Chicken parm is
chicky-chicky parm-parm.Copy !req
244. Chicken cacciatore?
Chicky catch.Copy !req
245. I call eggs
pre-birds or future birds.Copy !req
246. Root beer is super water.Copy !req
247. Tortillas are bean blankies.Copy !req
248. And I call forks food rakes.Copy !req
249. Yeah. You can get as
many 'zerts as you want.Copy !req
250. Well, let's get
in my go-go mobile.Copy !req
251. Car.Copy !req
252. This'll be fun. Let's say you rub
a bottle and a genie comes outCopy !req
253. and gives you three wishes.
What would those wishes be?Copy !req
254. Come on, Leslie.
This'll be a fun game.Copy !req
255. Three wishes. Go.Copy !req
256. Okay. First wish? I have a huge
house with a ton of balconies.Copy !req
257. Yeah. Okay.Copy !req
258. And I would just
stand out thereCopy !req
259. and survey my empire,
like a drug dealer in a Michael Bay movie.Copy !req
260. And I'll just
spend my time out thereCopy !req
261. reading my iPad and drinking
espressos in a terry cloth robe.Copy !req
262. Wish number two.Copy !req
263. Okay. I'm the CEO of
the Spike TV network.Copy !req
264. And my best friend slash personal
assistant is Oscar winner Jamie Foxx.Copy !req
265. And we create a raunchy animated
series based on our friendship,Copy !req
266. called Tommy and the Foxx.Copy !req
267. Okay. We don't have
to do this anymore.Copy !req
268. No, no. I'm into it now. Wish number
three. They remake Point Break.Copy !req
269. I play both roles.
Keanu and Swayze.Copy !req
270. I think if you
continue cross-trainingCopy !req
271. the way you have,
you're gonna...Copy !req
272. I don't see any ingredients.
Have you bought ingredients?Copy !req
273. Nope.Copy !req
274. Do you need help shopping? No.Copy !req
275. Are you hurt? Can you
move? Never felt better.Copy !req
276. Chris! Can I get these?Copy !req
277. I said one thing.Copy !req
278. Honey?Copy !req
279. Pinwheel.Copy !req
280. Let's play a different game.
I'm gonna say stuff about me,Copy !req
281. and you say,
on a scale from 1 to 10,Copy !req
282. how interested in
that thing you are.Copy !req
283. Ready?
Okay.Copy !req
284. I love sunshine and fresh
air and early-morning walks.Copy !req
285. One.
I've read five biographiesCopy !req
286. of Eleanor Roosevelt.
One.Copy !req
287. I work at the Parks
and Recreation.. . One.Copy !req
288. That's what you do.
One.Copy !req
289. I once kissed
a girl in college.Copy !req
290. Eight.Copy !req
291. Where I graduated
summa cum laude in history.Copy !req
292. One. Zero. Negative a billion.
Don't talk about it anymore, please.Copy !req
293. I love Food and Stuff.Copy !req
294. It's where I buy
all of my food.Copy !req
295. And most of my stuff.Copy !req
296. Hey, can I get these?Copy !req
297. How much are they?Copy !req
298. Two bucks apiece.Copy !req
299. Good deal.Copy !req
300. Anything else?Copy !req
301. Nope. Just the crows
and the beef.Copy !req
302. So,
the only thing that's important to you is hotness?Copy !req
303. Wendy? Lucy? All you cared
about was the shape of their boobs?Copy !req
304. No, I really liked them,
and they happened to have nice breasts.Copy !req
305. You're acting really weird. What
did you even buy me lunch for?Copy !req
306. Just so you could yell at me
for what I like about women?Copy !req
307. Okay. Promise
not to tell anyone?Copy !req
308. Sure.Copy !req
309. This is insane,
but you and I got matched up on hoosiermate.com.Copy !req
310. 98% match.Copy !req
311. Soul mate-level match.Copy !req
312. You wanna date me!
This is a date!Copy !req
313. This is not
a date, okay?Copy !req
314. You took me to a fancy restaurant,
you paid for my meal,Copy !req
315. and you're trying to
get to know me better.Copy !req
316. I was just trying to
figure out why onlyCopy !req
317. sleazy guys are
into me right now.Copy !req
318. Nice try. You love me.Copy !req
319. Leslie Knope,
Tom HaverfordCopy !req
320. Dating in the day,
dating in the nightCopy !req
321. Dating all day 'cause
he's keeping it tightCopy !req
322. All right, Tom. Enough.Copy !req
323. Dating in the car,
dating on the floorCopy !req
324. Dating everywhere
'cause she wants some moreCopy !req
325. What, yeah,
oh, we're going to, yeah...Copy !req
326. Hey, Tom,
I'm just printing out these health tips.Copy !req
327. Can you grab them for me?Copy !req
328. One second. I'm just looking
at some real estate listings.Copy !req
329. Oh, this is perfect for us.Copy !req
330. Three-bedroom, and.. .
Oh, God, Les.Copy !req
331. It has that dream closet
you've always wanted.Copy !req
332. A walk-in closet.Copy !req
333. Oh, God.Copy !req
334. Hey, hey, boo.
What's wrong?Copy !req
335. Where did you go?
Come back to me.Copy !req
336. Stop it.Copy !req
337. Don't disappear on me.
I need you, boo.Copy !req
338. All right. Let's get into it. What
do you guys have for health tips?Copy !req
339. Ben, if it's okay
with you, Leslie and ICopy !req
340. are going to lead
the meeting today,Copy !req
341. because of our deep
spiritual connection.Copy !req
342. Okay. All right.
Is everything okay or...Copy !req
343. Oh, yeah.
Okay.Copy !req
344. Everything is great, Ben.Copy !req
345. Les and I just had something
magical happen today at lunch.Copy !req
346. There is some weird juju
in this room right now.Copy !req
347. Office yoga. We do stretches
at our desk or next to our deskCopy !req
348. or in a chair.
Always good for you.Copy !req
349. We give everyone pedometers
and we have a contest.Copy !req
350. Whoever takes
the most steps wins a prize.Copy !req
351. Anything to get
their heart rate up.Copy !req
352. You know what else
gets people's heart rate up?Copy !req
353. Doing it.Copy !req
354. Talking about
sex with my boss.Copy !req
355. Can you excuse us
for a second? Yeah.Copy !req
356. Hey. Can I talk to you
for a second?Copy !req
357. Let me get off the chair.Copy !req
358. Hey.. .
What is wrong with you?Copy !req
359. Leslie. It's the workplace. You're
being a little bit too feisty right now.Copy !req
360. You are being a little bit too
much of an ass right now. Okay?Copy !req
361. Knock it off.Copy !req
362. I can't fight
this feeling anymore.Copy !req
363. You and I, we're dating.Copy !req
364. You should be so lucky.Copy !req
365. Leslie.
Huh?Copy !req
366. Tom.Copy !req
367. They should fix that.Copy !req
368. It was all just a joke.Copy !req
369. I can assure you, there's nothing
romantic going on between me and Tom.Copy !req
370. I have a very strict policy.
No office relationships,Copy !req
371. particularly between a
supervisor and an employee.Copy !req
372. The taxpayers pay us. So,
we can't have anything appearingCopy !req
373. even remotely scandalous.Copy !req
374. I'm just saying,
if you can't keep your mouth to yourself,Copy !req
375. I'm gonna have
to suspend you.Copy !req
376. I understand.Copy !req
377. Look. Cucumber flower.Copy !req
378. Wow, that's so cute.Copy !req
379. Wait,
that's a garnish. You're not supposed to eat that.Copy !req
380. What?Copy !req
381. So, just type up those
ones we talked about,Copy !req
382. and we'll get it
finalized tomorrow.Copy !req
383. Yep.Copy !req
384. Hey, Tom.
Yeah.Copy !req
385. What was all that
stuff with you and Leslie?Copy !req
386. Girl likes Indian food.
What can I say?Copy !req
387. Fine. We got matched up
on an online dating site.Copy !req
388. And I was messing
with her, she got pissed.Copy !req
389. So, she took me out in the hallway and kissed me,
out of revenge.Copy !req
390. Really?Copy !req
391. And as much as it pains me to admit this,
it was not disgusting.Copy !req
392. Okay. Well,
I don't need the details or anything.Copy !req
393. I'm just saying.
She knows what to do.Copy !req
394. All right.Copy !req
395. Like, I was impressed.
Yeah.Copy !req
396. It was stirring.Copy !req
397. Goodbye.
It felt like...Copy !req
398. Yeah.
All right.Copy !req
399. Just...Copy !req
400. Anyway, like I was saying...Copy !req
401. I humbly place before youCopy !req
402. my east-meets-west patented
Traeger Turkey Burger,Copy !req
403. an Asian-fusion burger made
with Willow Farms organic turkey,Copy !req
404. a toasted taleggio cheese crisp,
papaya chutney,Copy !req
405. black truffle aioli,
and microgreensCopy !req
406. on a gluten-free
brioche bun. Enjoy.Copy !req
407. Mmm.
Mmm.Copy !req
408. This tastes as
delicious as Beyoncé smells.Copy !req
409. I'm guessing.Copy !req
410. What is this in here?
Saffron?Copy !req
411. Wow! Somebody's
got a sharp palate.Copy !req
412. I love the umami flavor.Copy !req
413. Stop being
so pretentious, Kyle.Copy !req
414. Sorry.Copy !req
415. Here's mine. It's a hamburger,
made out of meat, on a bun, with nothing.Copy !req
416. Add ketchup if you want.
I couldn't care less.Copy !req
417. Ron, I am so disappointed.Copy !req
418. I thought that you and I were
gonna have a real challenge.Copy !req
419. Never mind.
This is better.Copy !req
420. Way better.Copy !req
421. Mmm. Yep.
Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
422. Kyle?Copy !req
423. Sorry, Andy.
Ron's is better.Copy !req
424. Damn it, Kyle. Oh,
my God. It's so much better, it's crazy.Copy !req
425. Turkey can never
beat cow, Chris. Sorry.Copy !req
426. Well, I don't understand.Copy !req
427. I've tinkered with
this recipe for years.Copy !req
428. Granted,
it's been a long time since I've had a hamburger.Copy !req
429. This is better. The commissary
will continue to serveCopy !req
430. horrifying,
artery-clogging hamburgers.Copy !req
431. Man. We spent, like, 50 hours
working on those burgers.Copy !req
432. I know. Hard work
never pays off.Copy !req
433. Cooking is dumb.Copy !req
434. I swear on this dead crow
that I will never cook for you.Copy !req
435. I love you.Copy !req
436. I just wanted to make sure
that there were no hard feelingsCopy !req
437. after I forced you
to break up with Tom.Copy !req
438. Oh, we weren't.. .
No. No hard feelings.Copy !req
439. 'Cause it's just a real bugaboo of
mine. And it applies to everyone.Copy !req
440. Just the other day,
Ben told me that he mightCopy !req
441. want to socialize with
somebody from the governmentCopy !req
442. and I said, "I'm sorry.
Not possible."Copy !req
443. Really? Did he say who?Copy !req
444. No, and I didn't ask. Because it's
irrelevant. He oversees every department.Copy !req
445. It simply can't happen. This is
literally the best thing I've ever eaten.Copy !req
446. Mmm. And it's so bad for me.Copy !req
447. I'm gonna have to jog while
I digest this. Excuse me.Copy !req
448. Hey. What's up?Copy !req
449. Hey. Well, I think
I'm allergic to chutney.Copy !req
450. Also, what's chutney?Copy !req
451. No clue.
Yeah.Copy !req
452. Hey,
I never got to tell you the rest of my ideas.Copy !req
453. You wanna go somewhere
and talk about them?Copy !req
454. Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to.
Let me get some actual food,Copy !req
455. and then, do you know that
wildflower mural up on the second floor?Copy !req
456. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
457. Yeah? You wanna meet there?Copy !req
458. Yeah.
Okay.Copy !req
459. Sounds good.Copy !req
460. I don't know if
the online thing is for me.Copy !req
461. I prefer to meet
people in person.Copy !req
462. It's like door number two
on Let's Make a Deal.Copy !req
463. Do you want
the thing that you have,Copy !req
464. that you know you like,
but isn't perfect,Copy !req
465. or do you give it up for what's
behind door number two?Copy !req
466. I think I like what I have.Copy !req
467. I'm gonna try to
make it work with Tom.Copy !req
468. I'm kidding!Copy !req
469. All right, be honest,
Tom. How did you and I get matched up?Copy !req
470. I made 26 profiles,Copy !req
471. each designed to attract
a different type of girl.Copy !req
472. Tom A. Haverford.
Sporty and sexy.Copy !req
473. Tom B. Haverford,
smooth and soulful.Copy !req
474. Which letter did you get?Copy !req
475. N, Tom N. Haverford.Copy !req
476. The N
stands for nerd!Copy !req
477. I never even check that one,
'cause no one ever responds to it.Copy !req
478. Okay. Well, whatever.Copy !req
479. Tom N. Haverford
collects globes.Copy !req
480. Great. That's enough.Copy !req
481. His favorite movie
is books.Copy !req
482. Donna?Copy !req
483. Every time I want you
to shut up, from now on.Copy !req