1. - OKAY, OPEN THIS ONE.
HERE, I'LL HELP YOU.Copy !req
2. - WHOA!
DOCUMENTS.Copy !req
3. - YES.Copy !req
4. THIS IS YOUR ORIGINAL
INTERN APPLICATION,Copy !req
5. YOUR ORIGINAL PARKING PASS.Copy !req
6. THIS IS
YOUR ORIGINAL PHOTO I.D.Copy !req
7. - DID YOU GET THAT
OUT OF MY PURSE?Copy !req
8. - DOESN'T MATTER.Copy !req
9. AND THIS IS A COPY
OF YOUR VERY FIRST PAYCHECK.Copy !req
10. - WHO'S THAT FROM?Copy !req
11. - ME.
IT'S FROM ME.Copy !req
12. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.Copy !req
13. - THANK YOU, LESLIE.Copy !req
14. - OPEN MINE.
- IT IS. IT'S NICE.Copy !req
15. I MEAN, IT CAN BE A LITTLE SAPPY
AND SENTIMENTALCopy !req
16. TO KIND OF FRAME THINGS,
BUT IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO REMEMBERCopy !req
17. THE BEGINNING OF SOMETHING,
YOU KNOW, THE START.Copy !req
18. AND WHEN YOU—
- AH!Copy !req
19. - RON, FOR GOD'S SAKE.Copy !req
20. - SHE'S AN ADULT NOW.Copy !req
21. SHE SHOULD KNOW
HOW TO RESPONSIBLY HANDLECopy !req
22. AND DISCHARGE A WEAPON.Copy !req
23. THAT THERE IS A SIG SAUER
.22-CALIBER MOSQUITO,Copy !req
24. MANUFACTURED IN SWITZERLAND
FOR THEIR PUSSY POLICE FORCE.Copy !req
25. THIS TWO-TONED,
LIGHTWEIGHT MODELCopy !req
26. IS PERFECT FOR A SKINNY,
LITTLE THING LIKE YOU.Copy !req
27. - GEE, THANKS, RON.Copy !req
28. - I WILL HOLD ON
TO THIS FOR YOUCopy !req
29. UNTIL WE GET YOU
LICENSED UP,Copy !req
30. AND THEN I'LL TAKE YOU
FOR SOME TARGET PRACTICE.Copy !req
31. - GOODY.Copy !req
32. - YEAH, I DO FEEL
A LITTLE GUILTY.Copy !req
33. I'M RE-GIFTING.Copy !req
34. - OH, THAT'S GREAT.Copy !req
35. I'D LOVE TO HEAR
ALL ABOUT YOUR FAMILY VACATION.Copy !req
36. - HEY.
- OH, THANK GOD.Copy !req
37. GET OUT, KYLE.Copy !req
38. HELLO, BIRTHDAY GIRL.Copy !req
39. HA!Copy !req
40. DID YOU LIKE THAT?
- YES.Copy !req
41. - THAT HIGH FIVE
WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT.Copy !req
42. JUST KIDDING.
THAT WASN'T IT.Copy !req
43. I GOT YOU SOMETHING ELSE.Copy !req
44. I WROTE YOU A SONG.Copy !req
45. - REALLY?
- YEAH.Copy !req
46. YEAH.
- WHAT'S IT CALLED?Copy !req
47. - I'M NOT TELLING,
BUT I'LL GIVE YOU A CLUE.Copy !req
48. IT'S NAMED AFTER A MONTH
OUT OF THE YEAR.Copy !req
49. - SO APRIL?Copy !req
50. - NO.Copy !req
51. THAT WOULD'VE BEEN
WAY BETTER.Copy !req
52. - UM...Copy !req
53. WELL, WHATEVER.
I CAN REWRITE THE LYRICS.Copy !req
54. - UM, ARE YOU COMING
TO MY PARTY?Copy !req
55. - YEAH. I WOULDN'T MISS IT
FOR THE WORLD.Copy !req
56. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
- OKAY, COOL.Copy !req
57. - OKAY.
- UM, WELL...Copy !req
58. WE'LL HANG OUT THEN.Copy !req
59. - OKAY.Copy !req
60. - IT'S GONNA BE FUN.Copy !req
61. YES, I AM
21 YEARS OLD TODAY...Copy !req
62. WHICH IS THE AGE
THAT PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE AGREESCopy !req
63. MAKES YOU AN ADULT.Copy !req
64. - "IN THE WORDSCopy !req
65. "OF THE GREAT 19TH-CENTURY
OUTDOORSMAN JACK LONDON,Copy !req
66. "'YOU CAN'T WAIT
FOR INSPIRATION.Copy !req
67. "YOU HAVE TO GO AFTER IT
WITH A CLUB.'Copy !req
68. "WITH THOSE WORDS
RINGING IN OUR EARS,Copy !req
69. "WE PROUDLY PRESENT OUR PLANS
FOR A NEW PARKCopy !req
70. ON MUNICIPAL LOT 48."Copy !req
71. - THAT'S GOOD.Copy !req
72. - I KNOW.Copy !req
73. THE YEARLY BUDGET
AND PLANNING PROPOSAL FOR A CITYCopy !req
74. IS CALLED THE "MASTER PLAN."Copy !req
75. AH, ISN'T THAT JUST SO AWESOME
YOU CAN'T STAND IT?Copy !req
76. IT'S MOSTLY FILLED WITH BORING,
BUREAUCRATIC LANGUAGE,Copy !req
77. SO I TRY TO SPICE IT UP
A LITTLE.Copy !req
78. "SO I SAY THE FUNCTION OF MAN
IS TO LIVE, NOT TO EXIST.Copy !req
79. "I WOULD RATHER THAT MY SPARK
SHOULD BURN OUTCopy !req
80. "IN A BRILLIANT BLAZECopy !req
81. THAN IT SHOULD BE STIFLED
BY DRY ROT."Copy !req
82. YOU WROTE THAT?Copy !req
83. - JACK LONDON, AGAIN.Copy !req
84. IS THERE TOO MANY
JACK LONDON QUOTES?Copy !req
85. - NO, NO.Copy !req
86. - YEAH, I MEAN,
YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH.Copy !req
87. - THAT IS EASILY THE MOST
EXCITING BUDGET PROPOSALCopy !req
88. I'VE EVER HEARD.Copy !req
89. - WELL,
I'M PRESENTING IT TODAY.Copy !req
90. AND IF IT FLIES, WE ARE GONNA
GET OUR MONEY TO BUILD A PARK.Copy !req
91. I MEAN, IT ONLY TOOK US
15 MONTHS TO DO THIS.Copy !req
92. - I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
- WOULD'VE TAKEN 13 MONTHSCopy !req
93. IF YOU HAD AGREED TO WORK
ON THE WEEKENDS, BUT STILL,Copy !req
94. IT'S GREAT.Copy !req
95. - IT'S AMAZING.Copy !req
96. WELL, THE MEETING'S AT 10:00.Copy !req
97. COME OVER TO MY OFFICE
FOR CHAMPAGNE AFTER.Copy !req
98. - I DON'T THINK
I SHOULD DO THAT.Copy !req
99. - OH, RIGHT.
MARK.Copy !req
100. OH. AWKWARD.Copy !req
101. I ENDED THINGS WITH MARK
A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO,Copy !req
102. AND...Copy !req
103. I'M NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT IT.Copy !req
104. - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING.Copy !req
105. DO NOT MISS TONIGHT'S
APRIL LUDGATE BIRTHDAY BASH.Copy !req
106. 9:00 P.M. AT THE WORLD-FAMOUS
SNAKEHOLE LOUNGE—Copy !req
107. THE PLACE THE PAWNEE JOURNAL
HAS CALLEDCopy !req
108. THE SEXIEST,
MOST DANGEROUS CLUB IN TOWN.Copy !req
109. - THAT'S NOT WHAT THEY WROTE.
- FINE.Copy !req
110. I ADDED THE WORD "SEXIEST,"Copy !req
111. BUT WE'VE HIRED
BETTER SECURITY.Copy !req
112. YES, I AM A GOOD FRIEND
FOR THROWING THE PARTY.Copy !req
113. I'M ALSO A GENIUS,
BECAUSE I'M USING THE OCCASIONCopy !req
114. TO STOCK THE CLUB WITH
EVERY AVAILABLE HOTTIE I KNOW.Copy !req
115. CALL ME A ROMANTIC,Copy !req
116. BUT I BELIEVE
BY THE END OF THE NIGHT,Copy !req
117. I WILL HAVE BETWEEN
ONE AND FOUR NEW GIRLFRIENDS.Copy !req
118. - OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE
OUR LITTLE GIRL'S ALL GROWN UP.Copy !req
119. OH, DAMN THE WHEEL
OF THE WORLD.Copy !req
120. WHY MUST IT
CONTINUALLY TURN OVER?Copy !req
121. - JACK LONDON.Copy !req
122. - YEAH.
- NICE.Copy !req
123. - OKAY, LET'S GO, BOSS.Copy !req
124. WE HAVE A MEETING TO GO TO.
- YAY.Copy !req
125. ONCE A YEAR, EVERY BRANCH
OF THIS GOVERNMENTCopy !req
126. MEETS IN A ROOM AND ANNOUNCESCopy !req
127. WHAT THEY INTEND TO WASTE
TAXPAYER MONEY ON.Copy !req
128. FOR A LIBERTARIAN
SUCH AS MYSELF,Copy !req
129. IT'S PHILOSOPHICALLY
HORRIFYING.Copy !req
130. THEY ALSO REALLY CHEAP OUT
ON THE SNACKS.Copy !req
131. HYDRAX COOKIES?Copy !req
132. DID YOU KNOW THERE WAS
AN OFF-BRAND HYDROX?Copy !req
133. I DID NOT.Copy !req
134. THEY'RE NOT BAD.Copy !req
135. - GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY.Copy !req
136. NOW, I KNOW YOU ALL HAVE
YOUR BUDGET PRESENTATIONS READY,Copy !req
137. BUT THERE'S A CHANGE
OF PLANS.Copy !req
138. DUE TO THE CRIPPLING GRIDLOCK
IN CITY COUNSEL,Copy !req
139. WE ARE POSTPONINGCopy !req
140. ALL PLANNING AND SPENDING
DECISIONS INDEFINITELY.Copy !req
141. - UM, UNTIL WHEN?Copy !req
142. - INDEFINITELY.Copy !req
143. - AND WHEN WILL THAT END?
- LATER THAN NOW.Copy !req
144. - SO THIS WEEK PROBABLY?Copy !req
145. - LOOK, WE ARE BORDERING
ON A FULL-BLOWN CRISIS, LESLIE.Copy !req
146. THE STATE GOVERNMENT
IS SENDING A TEAMCopy !req
147. FROM INDIANAPOLIS
TO TRY TO SOLVECopy !req
148. THIS BUDGET PROBLEM.Copy !req
149. - "IN THE EVENT THE MASTER PLAN
MEETING IS CUT SHORT,Copy !req
150. "IN THE EVENT
I HAVE LARYNGITISCopy !req
151. "AND I CAN'T PRESENT
THE MASTER PLAN,Copy !req
152. IN THE EVENT THE MASTER PLAN
MEETING IS MOVED ONTO A BOAT..."Copy !req
153. LOOK, I'M PREPARED
FOR EVERY SITUATION...Copy !req
154. EXCEPT FOR THE ONE
WHERE THERE'S NO MASTER PLAN.Copy !req
155. - JUST CALM DOWN.Copy !req
156. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT THEY'RE GONNA DO.Copy !req
157. - RON, THEY'RE STATE AUDITORS.Copy !req
158. THEY'RE NOT GONNA COME
AND PAT US ON THE BACK.Copy !req
159. THEY'RE HERE
TO SLASH AND BURN.Copy !req
160. - WELL, I'D BE FINE WITH THAT.Copy !req
161. THIS GOVERNMENT IS DISEASED.Copy !req
162. IT'S LIKE A BIG, FAT,
ANGRY SLOBCopy !req
163. SPENDING MONEY IT DOESN'T HAVE
ON CRAP IT DOESN'T NEED.Copy !req
164. MMM, MMM, MMM.Copy !req
165. ME WANT MORE POINTLESS
SOCIAL PROGRAMS.Copy !req
166. YUMMY, YUMMY, YUM.Copy !req
167. - THAT'S WHAT
GOVERNMENT DOES, RON.Copy !req
168. IT PROVIDES SERVICES.Copy !req
169. THEY'RE GONNA TRY TO ELIMINATE
EVERYTHING WE DO.Copy !req
170. WE GOTTA FIGHT THESE GUYS.Copy !req
171. - THEY'VE BEEN SENT
BY THE GOVERNOR.Copy !req
172. THEY OUTRANK EVERYONE.Copy !req
173. THERE'S NO FIGHT
TO BE HAD HERE.Copy !req
174. - YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT—
I'M NOT GONNA FIGHT THEM,Copy !req
175. EXCEPT THAT I AM!Copy !req
176. - OKAY.Copy !req
177. LESLIE...Copy !req
178. WHAT DO WE DO
WHEN WE GET THIS ANGRY?Copy !req
179. - WE COUNT BACKWARDS
FROM 1,000 BY 7s,Copy !req
180. AND WE THINK OF WARM BROWNIES.Copy !req
181. GO DO THAT IN YOUR OFFICE.Copy !req
182. - GO DO IT IN YOUR OFFICE.Copy !req
183. - AND WE'LL WAIT
FOR THESE GUYS TO SHOW UP.Copy !req
184. - I'LL WAIT FOR YOU
TO SHOW UP.Copy !req
185. - YOU DON'T NEED TO BRING
ANYTHING BUT YOUR GORGEOUS BODY.Copy !req
186. AND GET THIS—COVER CHARGE
IS NORMALLY $15.Copy !req
187. SAY MY NAME AT THE DOOR,
IT'S $13.50.Copy !req
188. ANDY!Copy !req
189. YOU COMING OUT TONIGHT,
PART OWNER OF THE CLUB?Copy !req
190. UH, YES.Copy !req
191. LET ME ASK YOU
A QUICK QUESTION.Copy !req
192. WHAT'S THE YOUNGEST
A GIRL CAN BECopy !req
193. THAT IF, UH, WE GO OUT,
I'M NOT A TOTAL SCUMBAG?Copy !req
194. - YOU KNOW THE OLD RULE.Copy !req
195. HALF YOUR AGE, PLUS SEVEN.Copy !req
196. - HALF MY AGE PLUS SEVEN.
OH, OKAY.Copy !req
197. WELL, I'M 29 SO HALF OF...Copy !req
198. 29... ADD SEVEN,Copy !req
199. THAT'S ONLY 20... IS—Copy !req
200. - 21...
- 20 YEARS OLD.Copy !req
201. - 21.
- AND A HALF.Copy !req
202. - 21 YEARS OLD AND A HALF.Copy !req
203. - YEP.
- YEP.Copy !req
204. WE GOT THE SAME THING
WITH THE EQUATION ON THAT ONE.Copy !req
205. HERE'S THE THING.Copy !req
206. WHAT IF SHE'S
SLIGHTLY YOUNGER?Copy !req
207. CAN I GO OUT
WITH SOMEONE YOUNGER THAN THAT?Copy !req
208. - PLEASE!
YOU TOTALLY CAN.Copy !req
209. - YEAH.Copy !req
210. TOM SAYS IT'S OKAY.Copy !req
211. THAT PROBABLY MEANS
IT ISN'T OKAY.Copy !req
212. - THANK YOU FOR MEETING
WITH ME AGAIN.Copy !req
213. I DON'T EVEN KNOW REALLY
WHAT I WANT TO SAY.Copy !req
214. BUT I GUESS
I JUST DON'T GET IT.Copy !req
215. YOU KNOW, OUR RELATIONSHIP
WAS SO GREAT.Copy !req
216. - MARK, HONESTLY,
IT WAS REALLY NICE.Copy !req
217. BUT MAYBE YOU THOUGHT
IT WAS SO AMAZINGCopy !req
218. BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER DATED
SOMEONE FOR SO LONG BEFORE.Copy !req
219. - WELL, BUT, FOR EXAMPLE,
WE BARELY EVER FOUGHT.Copy !req
220. - THAT'S NOT A GOOD SIGN.Copy !req
221. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT...
SOMETIMES.Copy !req
222. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO MISS
THE OTHER PERSON,Copy !req
223. EVEN IF THEY'RE ONLY GONE
FOR 20 MINUTES.Copy !req
224. AND I JUST DIDN'T FEEL THAT.Copy !req
225. DID YOU?Copy !req
226. - MAN, I, UH...Copy !req
227. I SHOULD'VE YELLED AT YOU
WAY MORE.Copy !req
228. - WELL, PAUL JUST CALLED.Copy !req
229. THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY.Copy !req
230. - OH, GOD, THEY'RE GONNA FIRE
PEOPLE, AREN'T THEY?Copy !req
231. YEAH, I AM TWO YEARS
FROM MY PENSION.Copy !req
232. RELAX, JERRY.
WE DON'T KNOW THAT.Copy !req
233. MAYBE THESE PEOPLE
ARE VERY HELPFUL AND PLEASANT—Copy !req
234. - HELLO.
- HA! DEATH!Copy !req
235. - DIVORCE FILINGS?
- FOURTH FLOOR.Copy !req
236. - HELLO, HELLO?
- OH.Copy !req
237. - HEY, HOW ARE YOU?
HELLO, THERE.Copy !req
238. - HI.Copy !req
239. - CHRIS TRAEGER.
THIS IS BEN.Copy !req
240. - HELLO, GENTS.
RON SWANSON.Copy !req
241. - RON... SWANSON.Copy !req
242. - OKAY.Copy !req
243. - I'M DEPUTY DIRECTOR,
LESLIE KNOPE.Copy !req
244. - LESLIE... KNOPE.Copy !req
245. IT IS FANTASTIC
TO BE HERE.Copy !req
246. - WOULD YOU GENTLEMEN
LIKE A TOUR?Copy !req
247. - OH, THERE IS
QUITE LITERALLYCopy !req
248. NOTHING I WOULD RATHER HAVE
IN THE WORLDCopy !req
249. THAN A TOUR OF THE PARKS
AND RECREATION DEPARTMENTCopy !req
250. OF THE GREAT CITY OF PAWNEE
LED BY RON SWANSON...Copy !req
251. AND LESLIE KNOPE.Copy !req
252. - OKAY.
- BEN?Copy !req
253. - I DON'T THINK
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.Copy !req
254. - LET'S DO IT.
- OKAY.Copy !req
255. CHRIS IS THE MOST POSITIVE
STATE BUDGET AUDITING CONSULTANTCopy !req
256. I'VE EVER MET.Copy !req
257. I MEAN,
I MADE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM,Copy !req
258. AND IT WAS LIKE...Copy !req
259. STARING INTO THE SUN.Copy !req
260. - PEOPLE, WE ARE HERE
FROM THE STATE BUDGET OFFICECopy !req
261. FROM INDIANAPOLIS.Copy !req
262. OOH, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?Copy !req
263. WELL, SIMPLY, WE ARE HERE
TO TINKER WITH YOUR BUDGET.Copy !req
264. THINK OF THE GOVERNMENT
AS A BROKEN DOWN CAROUSEL.Copy !req
265. WE'RE GONNA SLAP ON
A NEW COAT OF PAINT,Copy !req
266. WE'RE GONNA FIX THAT BROKEN
SPEAKER SYSTEM,Copy !req
267. AND WE ARE GONNA GET
THOSE HAPPY KIDSCopy !req
268. BACK UP ON THE HORSES
WHERE THEY BELONG.Copy !req
269. OKAY?Copy !req
270. - YEAH.Copy !req
271. - OKAY?Copy !req
272. THERE IT IS.Copy !req
273. MY, UH, PARTNER BEN IS GONNA
STICK AROUND FOR A LITTLE BIT.Copy !req
274. AND I WILL SEE YOU ALL LATER.Copy !req
275. ADIOS.
- DO YOU HAVE A SECOND?Copy !req
276. - I REALLY LIKE YOUR SHIRT.Copy !req
277. - SO I'D LIKE TO TALK ABOUTCopy !req
278. WHERE YOU THINK THERE'S WASTE
WITHIN YOUR DEPARTMENT.Copy !req
279. - THERE IS NONE.
- WHERE DO I START?Copy !req
280. WHAT EXACTLY
WILL YOU BE CUTTING?Copy !req
281. AND HOW MUCH OF IT,Copy !req
282. AND CAN I WATCH YOU DO IT
WHILE EATING PORK CRACKLINS?Copy !req
283. - OKAY, LET'S START
WITH PERSONNEL.Copy !req
284. WHAT CAN YOU TELL ME
ABOUT JERRY GERGICH?Copy !req
285. - HE IS ONE OF THE BEST PEOPLE
ON THE PLANET.Copy !req
286. HE'S UNIVERSALLY ADORED HERE.Copy !req
287. IF YOU FIRED HIM,
THERE WOULD BE A REVOLT.Copy !req
288. - OKAY,
YOU NEED TO UNDERSTANDCopy !req
289. THAT JUST TO KEEP
THIS TOWN AFLOAT,Copy !req
290. WE PROBABLY HAVE TO CUT
THE BUDGETCopy !req
291. OF EVERY DEPARTMENT
BY 40% OR 50%, OKAY?Copy !req
292. - WELL, BUT CHRIS SAID
THAT YOU JUST HAD TO,Copy !req
293. YOU KNOW,
TINKER WITH THINGS.Copy !req
294. - YEAH, HE SAID THAT BECAUSE
THAT SOUNDS A LOT BETTER THAN,Copy !req
295. "WE'RE GOING TO GUT IT
WITH A MACHETE."Copy !req
296. OKAY?Copy !req
297. - YOU'RE A JERK.
- I'M SORRY?Copy !req
298. - EASY.Copy !req
299. - I'M SORRY, THESE ARE
REAL PEOPLE IN A REAL TOWN,Copy !req
300. WORKING IN A REAL BUILDING
WITH REAL FEELINGS.Copy !req
301. - THIS BUILDING HAS FEELINGS?
- MAYBE.Copy !req
302. THERE'S A LOT OF HISTORY
IN THIS ONE—MAYBE IT DOES.Copy !req
303. HOW CAN YOU BE
SO BLASE ABOUT IT?Copy !req
304. - BECAUSE I DIDN'T CAUSE
THESE PROBLEMS, MISS KNOPE.Copy !req
305. YOUR GOVERNMENT DID.Copy !req
306. I'LL GET WHAT I NEED
FROM THE SPREADSHEETS.Copy !req
307. THANKS.Copy !req
308. - WHAT'S A NOT-GAY WAY
TO ASK HIMCopy !req
309. TO GO CAMPING WITH ME?Copy !req
310. - JEAN-RALPHIO.
- LOOKIN' HOT, BIG T.Copy !req
311. - WHAT?Copy !req
312. DAMN, GIRL,
WHO YOU TRYIN' TO IMPRESS?Copy !req
313. JUST KIDDING, I KNOW.Copy !req
314. - WALK AWAY.
- YEAH, YOU GOT IT.Copy !req
315. DONNA.Copy !req
316. - JEAN-RALPHIO.
- YEAH.Copy !req
317. - GOT YOU A BIRTHDAY SHOT.
- OH, THANKS.Copy !req
318. BUT NOW THAT IT'S LEGAL,
I'VE KIND OF LOST INTEREST.Copy !req
319. - SUIT YOURSELF.Copy !req
320. - SO I GUESS OUR
AWESOME NEW PARK IS ON HOLD.Copy !req
321. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT THEY'RE GONNA CUT?Copy !req
322. - NOPE.Copy !req
323. YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU SHOULDN'T WAIT AROUND.Copy !req
324. YOU SHOULD COME UP
WITH YOUR OWN BUDGET PLANCopy !req
325. AND JUST CONTROL
YOUR OWN DESTINY.Copy !req
326. - YEAH, I JUST DON'T KNOW
IF I CAN PLAY GOD LIKE THAT—Copy !req
327. AN ANGRY, VENGEFUL GOD
WHO JUST...Copy !req
328. FIRES JERRY FOR NO REASON.Copy !req
329. - YOU'D FIRE JERRY?
- NOT NECESSARILY.Copy !req
330. I DON'T KNOW, IT'S JUST BEEN
A REALLY CRAPPY DAY.Copy !req
331. WHERE WERE YOU EARLIER
WHEN I CALLED?Copy !req
332. TALKING TO MARK.Copy !req
333. - AGAIN?
- YEAH.Copy !req
334. IT HAS BEEN A ROUGH WEEK.Copy !req
335. - YOU WANT TO GET SUPER DRUNK?
- I REALLY DO.Copy !req
336. - YEAH, WHERE'S OUR LADY? HEY.
- HEY.Copy !req
337. - I HOPE YOU ALL KNOW,
I WAS INSTRUMENTALCopy !req
338. IN GETTING TRISH CROWNED
MISS PAWNEE.Copy !req
339. WHAT WAS YOUR TALENT AGAIN?Copy !req
340. OH, YEAH.
LOOKING AMAZING.Copy !req
341. HEY, LADIES, IS THERE ANYTHING
YOU DESIRE AT ALL BESIDES ME?Copy !req
342. - SO FUNNY—
YOU ARE SO FUNNY.Copy !req
343. - I-I'M SERIOUS, THOUGH.Copy !req
344. UM, ARE YOU INTO ME?Copy !req
345. - WHAT?Copy !req
346. - OH!Copy !req
347. CHUG THAT BITCH!
- OH, RULES ARE RULES.Copy !req
348. - NO, ANN, LISTEN TO ME.Copy !req
349. LISTEN TO ME, ANN.Copy !req
350. I KNOW I HAD A MASTER PLAN,Copy !req
351. AND IT ALL BLEW UP
IN MY FACE, BUT YOU...Copy !req
352. YOU CAME
INTO A TOWN HALL MEETING,Copy !req
353. AND WE MET, AND WE BECAME
FRIENDS, AND THAT IS AWESOME.Copy !req
354. - IT IS SO AWESOME.
YOU ARE SO AWESOME.Copy !req
355. I LOVE YOU.
- I LOVE YOU TOO.Copy !req
356. BUT I NEED MORE BEER.Copy !req
357. - OH, I'M GONNA GET YOU
MORE BEER.Copy !req
358. - YAY!
- YAY!Copy !req
359. - BEST FRIENDS OF EVER.Copy !req
360. - HEY, APRIL.
OH, MY GOSH.Copy !req
361. YOU LOOK AMAZING.Copy !req
362. - OH.
- LET ME SEE.Copy !req
363. - NO.
- DO A TWIRL.Copy !req
364. - NO.
- THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.Copy !req
365. - NO, DON'T LOOK AT ME.Copy !req
366. NO, LOOK. LOOK AT ME.
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY.Copy !req
367. - THANK YOU.Copy !req
368. - UH, CAN I GET YOU A DRINK?
OR—WAIT.Copy !req
369. YEAH, I CAN SWING IT.
CAN I GET YOU A DRINK?Copy !req
370. - WHISKEY, NEAT.Copy !req
371. - WOW, YOU'RE NOT
MESSING AROUND.Copy !req
372. - NO, I'M NOT.Copy !req
373. - BARKEEP.Copy !req
374. - ANDY DWYER,
IT IS SO AWESOME TO SEE YOU.Copy !req
375. - HEY, YOU TOO.
HOW ARE YOU?Copy !req
376. - LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.
WAS I A GOOD GIRLFRIEND?Copy !req
377. - ANN, YOU WERE
AN AWESOME GIRLFRIEND.Copy !req
378. - REALLY?
- YEAH.Copy !req
379. - AW.
- YEAH.Copy !req
380. I MEAN, I WAS THE SCREWUP.
- YEAH, YOU WERE.Copy !req
381. - WE HAD
A GOOD RELATIONSHIP, RIGHT?Copy !req
382. - GOD, I THINK SO.Copy !req
383. I MEAN, WE FOUGHT A LOT.
- I KNOW. I KNOW.Copy !req
384. I KNOW THAT.
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.Copy !req
385. - MM-HMM.
- I'M HOT.Copy !req
386. - IS THAT A QUESTION?Copy !req
387. - UM, WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER—
I CAN'T SEE YOU.Copy !req
388. HERE.Copy !req
389. - WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER...
- OH, YES.Copy !req
390. - WERE THERE TIMES
THAT YOU WERE LIKE,Copy !req
391. "IF I DON'T SEE ANN
IN, LIKE, TEN SECONDS,Copy !req
392. I'M GONNA DIE"?Copy !req
393. - YES, ALL THE TIME.Copy !req
394. - I LOVED ANDY,Copy !req
395. LOVED HIM.Copy !req
396. LOVED ANDY.Copy !req
397. HE WAS A TOTALLY HELPLESS BABY
WHEN WE MET.Copy !req
398. I DATED HIM FOR THREE YEARS.Copy !req
399. NOW HE'S AN ADULT
WITH A JOB.Copy !req
400. AND SOME OTHER GIRL
IS GONNA REAP THE REWARDSCopy !req
401. OF MY HARD WORK?Copy !req
402. THAT'S BULL.Copy !req
403. - AND I'M READING THIS,
AND I'M LIKE,Copy !req
404. "HOW COULD THEY HURT
THOSE GORILLAS LIKE THAT?"Copy !req
405. THEY'RE SUCH GENTLE,
MAGNIFICENT CREATURES, YOU KNOW?Copy !req
406. I'M AN ANIMAL LOVER.
I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
407. HEY, I, UM, WANT YOU TO KEEP
THIS BOTTLE CAP,Copy !req
408. SO YOU'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER ME
AND THE FIRST TIME WE MET.Copy !req
409. CLASSIC GAME—
PLANT THE SEED,Copy !req
410. HARVEST, LIKE,
A HALF HOUR LATER.Copy !req
411. - HERE YOU GO.
SORRY THAT TOOK FOREVER.Copy !req
412. GOD.Copy !req
413. - HEY, BABY, YOU MISS ME?
'CAUSE I MISSED YOU.Copy !req
414. OH, LOOK AT THIS.
JEAN-RALPHIO.Copy !req
415. - OH, HEY.
ANDY.Copy !req
416. - ANDY—
THAT'S AN ALL RIGHT NAME.Copy !req
417. THAT'S AN ALL RIGHT NAME.Copy !req
418. - THANK YOU.
- YEAH.Copy !req
419. - ARE YOU GUYS—ARE YOU GUYS
HANGING OUT TOGETHER?Copy !req
420. - YEAH, UH, MAYBE.Copy !req
421. YOU KNOW, HE ASKED ME OUT
SO MANY TIMES,Copy !req
422. I GUESS HE WORE ME DOWN.Copy !req
423. I'M VERY PERSISTENT.Copy !req
424. COME OVER HERE.
COME OVER HERE.Copy !req
425. - I CAN HEAR YOU. I CAN—
- COME OVER HERE.Copy !req
426. ONE TIME, I WAITED OUTSIDE
A WOMAN'S HOUSECopy !req
427. FOR FIVE DAYS JUST TO SHOW HER
HOW SERIOUS I WASCopy !req
428. ABOUT WANTING TO DRILL HER.Copy !req
429. TURNS OUT,
IT WAS THE WRONG HOUSE.Copy !req
430. SHE LOVED THE STORY ANYWAY.Copy !req
431. WE GOT TO THIRD BASE,
OVER THE PANTS.Copy !req
432. - THAT'S SO CUTE.
- YEAH, SUPER CUTE.Copy !req
433. - WOW.
- RIGHT?Copy !req
434. DO YOU WANT A REMY MARTIN?
- PROBABLY GOOD.Copy !req
435. - OKAY, I'LL GET YOU ONE.Copy !req
436. TWO REMY MARTINS—
HERE WE GO!Copy !req
437. - YOU CAN HAVE MY REMY MARTIN
FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.Copy !req
438. I THOUGHT SHE LIKED ME.Copy !req
439. I GUESS I'M SUPER BAD
AT PICKING UP SIGNALS.Copy !req
440. BUT THAT RALPH MACCHIO GUY'S
A TOTAL DOUCHE.Copy !req
441. - DID I GIVE YOU A BOTTLE CAP?Copy !req
442. EXCUSE ME.
DID I GIVE YOU A BOTTLE CAP?Copy !req
443. - WHAT?
- UGH!Copy !req
444. DID I GIVE ANY OF YOU GUYS
A BOTTLE CAP?Copy !req
445. YOU SURE?Copy !req
446. WHO THE
DID I GIVE A BOTTLE CAP TO?Copy !req
447. - THIS PARTY SUCKS.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.Copy !req
448. - IT'S MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- IT IS?Copy !req
449. - YES.
- I'M SORRY, BOO.Copy !req
450. - I'M NOT SAYING WE'RE
THE BEST BAND IN THE UNIVERSE,Copy !req
451. BUT WE ARE,
I WOULD SAY, HONESTLY,Copy !req
452. THE BEST BAND
IN THE WORLD.Copy !req
453. - I SHOULD WRITE
AN ARTICLE ABOUT YOU—Copy !req
454. ANOTHER ARTICLE ABOUT YOU.Copy !req
455. YEAH, OKAY.Copy !req
456. HEY, CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?Copy !req
457. - SURE.
- YEAH?Copy !req
458. DO YOU HAVE A TAB
I COULD PUT IT ON?Copy !req
459. WAIT, HOW OLD ARE YOU?Copy !req
460. - 25.Copy !req
461. - MARK!Copy !req
462. BRENDANAWICZ, HEY.Copy !req
463. WHAT'S 25 DIVIDED 2 PLUS 7?Copy !req
464. - 191/2.Copy !req
465. - OKAY, I'M OLDER THAN THAT.Copy !req
466. WE'RE GOOD TO GO.Copy !req
467. HEY, THIS IS MY DEAR FRIEND,
MARK BRENDANAWICZ.Copy !req
468. - OH, WE ACTUALLY, UH, MET.Copy !req
469. - OH, DUH!Copy !req
470. YEAH, YOU GUYS TOTALLY
SLEPT TOGETHER.Copy !req
471. - I'LL TAKE THAT DRINK.Copy !req
472. - SO YOU'RE WITH ANDY NOW?Copy !req
473. NO, THAT MAKES SENSE.Copy !req
474. IT'S BEEN A GREAT WEEK.Copy !req
475. - YOU KNOW WHAT'S THIRSTY?
- WHAT?Copy !req
476. - YOU KNOW WHAT'S WEIRD?Copy !req
477. HOW THIRSTY I GET
WHEN I'M WEIRD.Copy !req
478. - MM-HMM.
- WHEN I'M DRUNK.Copy !req
479. BEN THE JERK IS HERE.Copy !req
480. - WHO ARE?
- THAT ONE.Copy !req
481. THE ONE COMING OVER HERE.
GET READY.Copy !req
482. - OKAY, LESLIE,
BE PROFESSIONAL.Copy !req
483. - HI.Copy !req
484. - HELLO, BEN.Copy !req
485. - UM, LOOK, UH,Copy !req
486. I KIND OF FEEL LIKE
WE GOT OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT.Copy !req
487. SO I JUST WANTED
TO STOP BY AND—Copy !req
488. - YEAH, WELL, SAVE YOUR BREATH,
OKAY?Copy !req
489. JUST GET OUT OF HERE.Copy !req
490. BECAUSE THIS IS A PARTY
WITH MY FRIENDS,Copy !req
491. AND YOU'RE TRYING TO FIRE
ALL MY FRIENDS.Copy !req
492. - I—Copy !req
493. - PLUS I JUST TALKED TO
EVERYBODY IN THIS BARCopy !req
494. AND NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE.Copy !req
495. - THAT MUST HAVE TAKEN AWHILE.Copy !req
496. - YEAH, IT DID.Copy !req
497. YOU'RE A COLD,
CALLOUS PERSON,Copy !req
498. AND YOU WANT TO KILL PEOPLE
WITH MACHETES.Copy !req
499. AND ANN IS RIGHT,Copy !req
500. I SHOULD MAKE MY OWN PLANCopy !req
501. SO THAT YOU CAN'T HURT US,
AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.Copy !req
502. - UM, OKAY, THEN I'LL—
I'LL JUST SEE YOU TOMORROW.Copy !req
503. - MM-HMM.
- SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.Copy !req
504. - GET OUT OF HERE.Copy !req
505. - LESLIE,
THAT WAS SO PROFESSIONAL.Copy !req
506. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.Copy !req
507. - THANK YOU.Copy !req
508. - YOU HAVE TO HELP ME.
- OW.Copy !req
509. - I KNOW, ME TOO.
BUT YOU HAVE TO HELP ME.Copy !req
510. I THINK I MAY HAVE MADE OUT
WITH SOMEONE LAST NIGHT.Copy !req
511. OH, NO. WHO?Copy !req
512. - I DON'T REMEMBER.Copy !req
513. I DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF IT HAPPENED,Copy !req
514. I JUST HAD THIS FEELING
WHEN I WOKE UP THIS MORNINGCopy !req
515. LIKE I DEFINITELY
KISSED SOMEBODY.Copy !req
516. - NO—Copy !req
517. - HEY. ANN.Copy !req
518. HMM.Copy !req
519. OH, THAT WAS A CRAZY NIGHT
LAST NIGHT.Copy !req
520. - YEAH, CRAZY.Copy !req
521. - I MEAN,
I LEFT AT 11:15Copy !req
522. AND YOU WERE STILL RAGING
PRETTY HARD.Copy !req
523. - OH, I WAS. I WAS.Copy !req
524. GOOD.Copy !req
525. - YEAH.
SO IT'S NOT JERRY.Copy !req
526. - HELP ME.Copy !req
527. - I'LL KEEP MY EAR
TO THE GROUND.Copy !req
528. - KNOPE! MY OFFICE!Copy !req
529. - THAT'S LOUD.
- WHY THE YELLING?Copy !req
530. - HAVE A GOOD NIGHT
LAST NIGHT?Copy !req
531. - DID YOU ENJOY YOUR SECOND
LOUD CONVERSATION WITH BEN?Copy !req
532. THE STATE AUDITOR WHO HOLDS
YOUR VERY FATE IN HIS HANDSCopy !req
533. LIKE A TINY BIRD.Copy !req
534. - YOU KNOW WHAT,
HE DESERVED IT.Copy !req
535. HE'S COLD AND UNFEELING,
AND I YELLED AT HIM.Copy !req
536. SO WHAT?Copy !req
537. - BELIEVE ME, I WANT
THIS GOVERNMENT CUT TO THE BONE.Copy !req
538. BUT I CAN'T HAVE YOU
GETTING YOURSELF FIRED,Copy !req
539. BECAUSE THEN I'LL HAVE
TO DO STUFF.Copy !req
540. GO APOLOGIZE.Copy !req
541. - NO, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
TO APOLOGIZE FOR.Copy !req
542. ALL I DID WAS EXPRESS MYSELF,Copy !req
543. FORCEFULLY,Copy !req
544. DRUNKENLY.Copy !req
545. AND I SPIT ON HIM
A LITTLE BIT.Copy !req
546. OKAY, I'LL GO APOLOGIZE.Copy !req
547. - MM, MM.Copy !req
548. LESLIE, LESLIE.
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME.Copy !req
549. - HI, YOU HAVE
A LOT OF BOTTLES THERE.Copy !req
550. - OH, YEAH, WOULD YOU LIKE
A VITAMIN?Copy !req
551. B12? EVENING PRIMROSE OIL?
WILLOW BARK? MAGNESIUM?Copy !req
552. - NO, THANK YOU.
- YOU SURE?Copy !req
553. REALLY GOOD FOR HANGOVERS.
- OKAY, I'LL TAKE ONE.Copy !req
554. - I TAKE CARE OF MY BODY
ABOVE ALL ELSE.Copy !req
555. DIET, EXERCISE,
SUPPLEMENTS, POSITIVE THINKING.Copy !req
556. SCIENTISTS BELIEVE THAT
THE FIRST HUMAN BEINGCopy !req
557. WHO WILL LIVE 150 YEARS
HAS ALREADY BEEN BORN.Copy !req
558. I BELIEVE I AM
THAT HUMAN BEING.Copy !req
559. SO. WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE
SO EARLY?Copy !req
560. - I'M HERE TO SPEAK TO BEN,
ACTUALLY.Copy !req
561. - GREAT.Copy !req
562. I'M GONNA LISTEN TO
SOME OCEAN SOUNDSCopy !req
563. AND SO SOME CHIN-UPS.Copy !req
564. - SO I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE
FOR YESTERDAY.Copy !req
565. - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.Copy !req
566. - NOW WHAT I DID
WAS OUT OF LINE. TWICE.Copy !req
567. AND I WAS WORKED UP
BECAUSE OBVIOUSLYCopy !req
568. YOU REPRESENT A THREAT
TO MY DEPARTMENT.Copy !req
569. - YOUR CITY COUNSEL
AND YOUR MAYORCopy !req
570. ARE THE THREATS
TO YOUR DEPARTMENT.Copy !req
571. WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHINGCopy !req
572. TO GET YOU INTO
THIS SITUATION, OKAY?Copy !req
573. - OKAY, LOOK, BEN,Copy !req
574. I DON'T APPRECIATE
YOUR CALLOUS ATTITUDE, OKAY?Copy !req
575. - REALLY?
- YEAH, REALLY.Copy !req
576. - OKAY.Copy !req
577. - YOU MAY HOLD MY FATE
IN YOUR HANDS LIKE A SMALL BIRD,Copy !req
578. BUT I STILL THINK
YOU'RE AN ASS.Copy !req
579. - YOU WANNA GET A BEER?Copy !req
580. - IT'S, LIKE,
10:30 IN THE MORNING.Copy !req
581. - YEAH. YOU SEEM LIKE
YOU COULD USE A BEER.Copy !req
582. LET'S GET A BEER.Copy !req
583. - WELL—Copy !req
584. - OH, OH, OH, OH.
DON'T KEEP HIM TOO LONG.Copy !req
585. I NEED SOMEONE TO BE HERE
WHEN I TAKE MY MULTIVITAMIN.Copy !req
586. THERE'S A CHOKING HAZARD.Copy !req
587. - OKAY, CAN WE GO?Copy !req
588. - OH, MY GOD.Copy !req
589. YOU DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHINGCopy !req
590. THAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT,
DO YOU?Copy !req
591. - NO.
- WOW.Copy !req
592. FOR ONCE, IT'S ANN
WHO BLACKED OUT DRUNKCopy !req
593. AND NOT ANDY.Copy !req
594. - OKAY.
- OH, MY GOSH.Copy !req
595. THIS IS—
THAT'S REALLY DANGEROUS.Copy !req
596. - PLEASE TELL ME.Copy !req
597. - THIS IS GOING TO BE SO FUNCopy !req
598. LETTING YOU DANGLE
UNTIL I FINALLY REVEALCopy !req
599. THAT WE DID NOT MAKE OUT.Copy !req
600. OH,Copy !req
601. DAMN IT.Copy !req
602. - GOOD. SEE YA.Copy !req
603. - ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
604. - HEY, I NEED TO SETTLE MY BILL
FROM LAST NIGHT.Copy !req
605. TOM HAVERFORD.Copy !req
606. - OKAY.Copy !req
607. WOW, YOU HAD 47 DRINKS
LAST NIGHT?Copy !req
608. TEN COSMOS,
EIGHT SMIRNOFF ICES,Copy !req
609. AND EVERYTHING ELSE STARTS WITH
THE WORD POMEGRANATE.Copy !req
610. AW. WAS IT
YOUR BACHELORETTE PARTY?Copy !req
611. I INVITED A BUNCH OF GIRLS HERE
LAST NIGHT,Copy !req
612. AND THEY ALL PUT DRINKS
ON MY TAB.Copy !req
613. AND THEN I WENT HOME ALONE.Copy !req
614. I'M NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED.Copy !req
615. - YOU INVITED
A BUNCH OF GIRLS HERECopy !req
616. AND THEN YOU TRIED TO HIT ON
ALL OF THEM.Copy !req
617. - FAIR ENOUGH.Copy !req
618. - I MEAN, WHAT WERE YOU
EXPECTING WAS GONNA HAPPEN,Copy !req
619. A 43-WAY?Copy !req
620. - THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN
A LITTLE OUT OF CONTROL.Copy !req
621. - BUT AWESOME.
- YEAH.Copy !req
622. THE PROBLEM IS
I ONLY HAVE 15 PENISES.Copy !req
623. SO THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN
28 GIRLSCopy !req
624. THAT WERE REALLY UPSET
WITH ME.Copy !req
625. ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANKS.Copy !req
626. - HEY, UH, WOULD YOU WANNA GET
A DRINK TOMORROW NIGHT?Copy !req
627. - DOES IT HAVE TO BE HERE?
- NO.Copy !req
628. - THEN SURE.
I'M LUCY.Copy !req
629. LET YOU GIVE ME
MY PHONE NUMBER.Copy !req
630. - SO I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU WERE THINKING.Copy !req
631. - JUST NOW?
NOTHING.Copy !req
632. - WELL, I HAD
A GREAT TIME LAST NIGHT.Copy !req
633. SO ARE YOU FREE
THIS WEEKEND?Copy !req
634. - OH, SHAUNA, LOOK, I THINK
YOU ARE A SUPER CUTE PERSON,Copy !req
635. AND YOUR NEWSPAPER ARTICLES
ARE SO COOL,Copy !req
636. AND THEY'RE—THEY'RE PROBABLY
VERY ACCURATE.Copy !req
637. BUT I DON'T THINK THAT WE
SHOULD GO OUT ROMANTICALLY.Copy !req
638. - WHY NOT?Copy !req
639. - WELL, HONESTLY,Copy !req
640. BECAUSE THERE'S ALREADY
A GIRL THAT I LIKE.Copy !req
641. AND WE KIND OF HAVE A LONG
BACKSTORY OF HISTORY.Copy !req
642. AND... I LIKE HER.Copy !req
643. - OKAY, WELL, GOOD LUCK.Copy !req
644. I CAN'T EVEN LAND
THE SHOESHINE GUY.Copy !req
645. - MM.Copy !req
646. WOW,
THAT TASTES REALLY GOOD.Copy !req
647. - MM. HOW'S YOUR HEAD?Copy !req
648. - MUSHY.Copy !req
649. I'M SORRY
THAT I YELLED AT YOU.Copy !req
650. ALL THREE TIMES.Copy !req
651. BUT I DON'T THINK
YOU KNOW ANYTHINGCopy !req
652. ABOUT MY DEPARTMENT.Copy !req
653. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN PART OF
A GOVERNMENT BODY BEFORE?Copy !req
654. - UH, I HAVE. YEAH.Copy !req
655. IN A SMALL TOWN
CALLED PARTRIDGE, MINNESOTA.Copy !req
656. - WHY DOES THAT SOUND
FAMILIAR?Copy !req
657. YOU'RE BENJI WYATT?
- I AM.Copy !req
658. WHEN I WAS 18,Copy !req
659. I RAN FOR MAYOR OF
MY SMALL TOWN AND WON.Copy !req
660. LITTLE BIT OF ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT
VOTER REBELLION, I GUESS.Copy !req
661. HERE'S THE THING, THOUGH,
ABOUT 18-YEAR-OLDS.Copy !req
662. THEY'RE IDIOTS.Copy !req
663. SO I PRETTY MUCH
RAN THE PLACE INTO THE GROUNDCopy !req
664. AFTER TWO MONTHS
AND GOT IMPEACHED.Copy !req
665. WORST PART WAS,
MY PARENTS GROUNDED ME.Copy !req
666. - OH, MY GOD,
YOU WERE SO CUTE.Copy !req
667. - OH, WELL, THANK YOU.Copy !req
668. - WHAT WAS THAT SONG
YOU PLAYEDCopy !req
669. AT THE SWEARING-IN CEREMONY?Copy !req
670. - WHOOMP! THERE IT IS
IS WHAT IT WAS, YEAH.Copy !req
671. - GOD, I WAS SO JEALOUS
OF YOU.Copy !req
672. - YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN.Copy !req
673. I MEAN, IT ENDED UP
KIND OF RUINING MY LIFE.Copy !req
674. I MEAN,
NOW I'M BALANCING BUDGETSCopy !req
675. SO I CAN SHOW PEOPLE
I'M RESPONSIBLE,Copy !req
676. SO I CAN RUN
FOR OFFICE AGAIN SOMEDAYCopy !req
677. AND NOT BE LAUGHED AT,
YOU KNOW?Copy !req
678. I MEAN, YOU WANNA
RUN FOR OFFICE SOMEDAY, RIGHT?Copy !req
679. - YEAH.
HOW DID YOU KNOW?Copy !req
680. - WELL, YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE
TO MAKE DECISIONSCopy !req
681. LIKE THIS, LESLIE.Copy !req
682. YOU HAVE TO BE HARSH,
YOU KNOW?Copy !req
683. NO ONE'S GONNA ELECT YOU
TO DO ANYTHINGCopy !req
684. IF YOU DON'T SHOW THAT
YOU'RE A RESPONSIBLE GROWN-UP.Copy !req
685. - YEAH.Copy !req
686. - WELL.Copy !req
687. - OH, NO, PLEASE,
MR. MAYOR, LET ME.Copy !req
688. - OKAY.Copy !req
689. - MM.Copy !req
690. MM.Copy !req
691. - EVERYTHING OKAY?
- HMM?Copy !req
692. MM.Copy !req
693. NO.Copy !req
694. - YOU READY?
- YEAH.Copy !req
695. - HEY, RON,
DID WE MAKE OUT LAST NIGHT?Copy !req
696. - GOOD GOD, WOMAN, NO.Copy !req
697. - OKAY.
WELL, THAT'S IT.Copy !req
698. THAT'S ALL THE MEN
THAT I KNOW.Copy !req
699. - YOU GUYS JUST KNOCKED IT
COMPLETELY OUT OF THE PARK.Copy !req
700. AND I APPRECIATE IT,
AND WE WILL SEE YOU LATER.Copy !req
701. HEY. ANN PERKINS.Copy !req
702. - HEY.
- HEY. WELL.Copy !req
703. - UH, APRIL'S PARTY?
APRIL'S PARTY?Copy !req
704. - YEAH, HEY, MAN.
HOW'S IT GOING?Copy !req
705. - HEY.
- HEY.Copy !req
706. COME HERE.Copy !req
707. THERE'S NO REASON
NOT TO LOVE HIM,Copy !req
708. BUT I—I DIDN'T.Copy !req
709. - I'M CALLING YOU A CAB.Copy !req
710. - YOU KNOW, I JUST—Copy !req
711. - MM.Copy !req
712. MM-MM-MM, MM-MM-MM.Copy !req
713. MM.Copy !req
714. OKAY,
LET'S GET YOU A CAB.Copy !req
715. GO AHEAD.
- BOO.Copy !req
716. - FANCY THIS.Copy !req
717. UM, LISTEN,
I HAVE MEETINGS ALL DAY,Copy !req
718. BUT I'D LOVE TO CHAT WITH YOU;
CAN I CALL YOU?Copy !req
719. - YOU HAVE MY PHONE NUMBER?Copy !req
720. - NO, YOU COULDN'T REMEMBER
YOUR PHONE NUMBER.Copy !req
721. BUT YOU GAVE ME YOUR PHONE.Copy !req
722. - TERRIFIC.
THAT'S GREAT.Copy !req
723. WE'LL TALK LATER.Copy !req
724. COME ON, GUYS.Copy !req
725. - WE'LL TALK LATER.Copy !req
726. YEAH, WE SHOULD HAVE
A MEETING TOOCopy !req
727. ABOUT THINGS THAT HAPPENED
IN SECRET.Copy !req
728. THIS SUGGESTED PLAN REDUCES
OUR OVERALL BUDGET BY 35%.Copy !req
729. AND IT CONTAINS
VERY PRACTICAL DEEP CUTSCopy !req
730. IN MANY OF OUR SERVICES.Copy !req
731. - UH, LESLIE,
THIS IS AMAZING,Copy !req
732. BUT IT'S MOOT.Copy !req
733. - WHY?Copy !req
734. - OUR INVESTIGATION
HAS REVEALEDCopy !req
735. THAT THINGS IN PAWNEE
ARE MUCH WORSECopy !req
736. THAN WE ANTICIPATED.Copy !req
737. - MEANING WHAT?Copy !req
738. - WELL, EFFECTIVE
TOMORROW MORNING,Copy !req
739. THE ENTIRE GOVERNMENT
WILL BE SHUT DOWNCopy !req
740. UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.Copy !req
741. - I'M SORRY,
I JUST STARTED HEARINGCopy !req
742. REALLY LOUD CIRCUS MUSIC
IN MY HEAD.Copy !req
743. WHAT DID YOU SAY?Copy !req
744. THAT SONG IS ABOUT APRIL.Copy !req