1. Okay, Ron.
Enough is enough.Copy !req
2. Let's talk plans for
Diane's baby shower.Copy !req
3. Dear God, woman.Copy !req
4. Three main activities,
baby bingo, baby food-tasting,Copy !req
5. and my personal favorite,
a baby onesie decorating station.Copy !req
6. I'm going to make mine
look like an astronaut.Copy !req
7. "What are you doing up there in space,
baby?" Oh, so cute.Copy !req
8. Okay, I have some gift ideas. I was
looking at a very adorable stroller.Copy !req
9. We already
have a stroller.Copy !req
10. Oh, shoot. Really? I'll have
to think of something else.Copy !req
11. Oh,
my God. Whose baby is that?Copy !req
12. That would be mine.Copy !req
13. Guys, get in here!
Ron has a baby!Copy !req
14. Oh, Ron, cool baby.Copy !req
15. Thank you, Andrew.Copy !req
16. Everyone, I'd like to
introduce you to my son,Copy !req
17. John Middle Name
Redacted Swanson.Copy !req
18. John was born some
time ago, weighingCopy !req
19. multiple pounds
and several ounces.Copy !req
20. Much like his father, he is a fan of
silence. Please keep your voices down.Copy !req
21. How am I supposed
to keep my voice downCopy !req
22. when you had your baby and you
didn't tell me that you had your baby?Copy !req
23. Why would you need to know
something like that?Copy !req
24. Why would I.. .
Oh, my God.Copy !req
25. I have not even
sent Diane a gift.Copy !req
26. She is just walking around,
wondering why I haven't sent her a gift yet.Copy !req
27. Should we do something?Copy !req
28. Just let her
tire herself out.Copy !req
29. If you need anything from us,
Ron, please just let us know.Copy !req
30. Actually,
there is something.Copy !req
31. Could one of you please
stop by the pet storeCopy !req
32. and pick up some
fish food for me?Copy !req
33. When did you get a fish?Copy !req
34. Okay, Youth Committee. Update
on the Unity Concert. Madison?Copy !req
35. So far, 12 bands
have said yes,Copy !req
36. and we asked them
all to submit a songCopy !req
37. for the new town
anthem contest.Copy !req
38. I think we should
book Orin as a headliner.Copy !req
39. I think it's a no-brainer.Copy !req
40. He dislocates his shoulder
to the music of Billy Joel.Copy !req
41. The Pawnee Journal called it
"Why would anyone do this?"Copy !req
42. Stop suggesting Orin.Copy !req
43. Craig, any update
on the art tents?Copy !req
44. Fourteen local artists have
signed up to show their work.Copy !req
45. It was going to be 15,
but then this one guyCopy !req
46. described himself as
Jackson Pollock-esque,Copy !req
47. and I told him that's finger
painting for adults and I hate it!Copy !req
48. The Pawnee-Eagleton merger
has made for a rough yearCopy !req
49. both for me
and for the town.Copy !req
50. But if I can pull off
this Unity ConcertCopy !req
51. and prove that this
merger was a success,Copy !req
52. Pawnee might once again
tolerate/ignore me.Copy !req
53. I know that sounds bad,
but for a politician,Copy !req
54. it's pretty much
the best-case scenario.Copy !req
55. Well, you guys might as well
be a pile of leavesCopy !req
56. because you're about
to get blown away.Copy !req
57. I have booked a meeting with
none other than Grant Larson.Copy !req
58. No one knows
who that is?Copy !req
59. Um, I do. Grant Larson,
otherwise known as Elton John.Copy !req
60. Congratulations, Leslie.
No.Copy !req
61. Grant Larson is the director
of the Midwest branchCopy !req
62. of the National Parks Service.Copy !req
63. He's basically the Liam
Bonneville of the Midwest.Copy !req
64. Liam Bonneville?Copy !req
65. The Department of the
Interior's resident bad boy?Copy !req
66. He's basically the Tim Dweck.. . Okay,
never mind.Copy !req
67. I have asked Grant to declare
Eagleton Hills a national parkCopy !req
68. as the grand finale
of our Unity Concert.Copy !req
69. Great idea, Leslie.Copy !req
70. And with that update,Copy !req
71. the Pawnee New Founder's Day
Unity Concert is now officially...Copy !req
72. And that banner unfurlingCopy !req
73. marks the 100th time that
one of my projects has been...Copy !req
74. ahead of schedule.Copy !req
75. This is your chance to put your
names on the Pawnee Unity Concert,Copy !req
76. the biggest event
of 2014.Copy !req
77. Besides the unveiling
of Tricia's new highlights.Copy !req
78. You think I wouldn't notice?
You look fly as hell, girl.Copy !req
79. This Unity Concert needs
corporate sponsorship,Copy !req
80. so Ben and I are
meeting with local bigwigs.Copy !req
81. I'm going to do what I do best,
lock down deals.Copy !req
82. And Dorkasaurus over here is
gonna handle the boring stuff.Copy !req
83. You said you genuinely
valued my business acumen.Copy !req
84. Also, I'm your boss.Copy !req
85. Oh, my God,
he's so cute.Copy !req
86. You're the cutest little
boo-bear I've ever seen.Copy !req
87. You are the world's most
adorable baby and I love you!Copy !req
88. You are so
freaking precious!Copy !req
89. Look what Gayle made
for the baby. It says...Copy !req
90. Isn't that adorable?Copy !req
91. Come on, John.Copy !req
92. Jeez.Copy !req
93. Here we are. The park that
borders Pawnee and Eagleton.Copy !req
94. This is the perfect place
for the press conferenceCopy !req
95. to announce
our Unity Concert.Copy !req
96. People are gonna clap,
they're gonna cheer.Copy !req
97. Today might be the day
that I finally crowd surf.Copy !req
98. Should probably empty my pockets,
just in case.Copy !req
99. Hey, one question. Where do
you think you're gonna stand?Copy !req
100. In front of
the graffiti that says...Copy !req
101. "Pawnee, you suck"?Copy !req
102. Or... "Go home,
Eagleton snobs"?Copy !req
103. I painted over that graffiti a week
ago. These people are the worst.Copy !req
104. I cannot announce
a Unity ConcertCopy !req
105. in front of a picture of a bald
eagle giving the middle finger.Copy !req
106. Yeah, you probably want to stand
to the side so people can see it.Copy !req
107. You know, why do we
even have this wall?Copy !req
108. We're supposed to be
uniting the two towns,Copy !req
109. and this literally
divides them.Copy !req
110. We should just
knock it down.Copy !req
111. On it, boss.Copy !req
112. Ahhh!Copy !req
113. The Kool-Aid guy
makes it look so easy.Copy !req
114. In the time
I've worked here,Copy !req
115. I have taken great pains to see
as little of this building as possible.Copy !req
116. Turns out, the third
floor is silent, emptyCopy !req
117. and completely free
of government work.Copy !req
118. I can't think of
anything more beautifulCopy !req
119. to share with my son.Copy !req
120. If I had a toolbox,
I could take care of that faulty radiator.Copy !req
121. Oh, this place
is a paradise!Copy !req
122. Wow, nicely done, Tom.
We have 15 sponsorship offers.Copy !req
123. Make that 16.
Mitch Savner.Copy !req
124. Savner Bleaches and
Chemicals. That's it.Copy !req
125. You guys make my favorite teeth-whitening strips,
Pearlies for Girlies.Copy !req
126. It's unisex. The cartoon
princess on the label says so.Copy !req
127. I'll sponsor your concert,
but I'm also looking to invest in other ventures.Copy !req
128. I have a feeling a bright guy like
you has some ideas of his own.Copy !req
129. I may have a few eggs ready to
hatch in the personal idea nest.Copy !req
130. Why don't you come to my office
tomorrow and pitch me your hottest idea?Copy !req
131. Perfect.
I'll see you then.Copy !req
132. Oh, that's pretty cool.Copy !req
133. It's all happening, Ben. Soon,
I'll have a new career,Copy !req
134. new crib, new friends.Copy !req
135. If all goes well,
this may be one of the last timesCopy !req
136. I ever have to
speak to you.Copy !req
137. Come with me.
I need your help.Copy !req
138. Thank you so much,
everyone, for comingCopy !req
139. and a special thank you to
the City Council for their support.Copy !req
140. I was told there would be
a free barbecue buffet.Copy !req
141. Just take some
beef jerky and hush.Copy !req
142. This spring,
we will be holding a massive Unity ConcertCopy !req
143. to commemorate the merger
between Pawnee and Eagleton.Copy !req
144. This three-day music
and arts festivalCopy !req
145. will end on a day we will
call New Founder's Day,Copy !req
146. an official beginning
to our new town.Copy !req
147. A few years ago,
Eagleton put up this wall along the border.Copy !req
148. Now, it is time to
tear down this wall.Copy !req
149. In the name of unity,
I have givenCopy !req
150. some former Eagletonians
the first strike.Copy !req
151. Take it away, guys.Copy !req
152. It is such
a great day for...Copy !req
153. Bees! Bees!Copy !req
154. Nobody panic!Copy !req
155. Ahhh! It stung me
on the eyeball!Copy !req
156. Oh, man,
this is amazing, man!Copy !req
157. The stupid Eagletonians are
totally getting pwned by these bees.Copy !req
158. I'm gonna send
this straight to Tosh.Copy !req
159. Don't worry, babe,
I'll protect you. I got stung once. I'm immune.Copy !req
160. Go ahead and sting me, bees!
It does nothing!Copy !req
161. Leslie, it appears that most of the
people who were stung were from Eagleton.Copy !req
162. How did you pull that off?Copy !req
163. I didn't pull anything off.Copy !req
164. The Eagletonians were simply
closest to the wall.Copy !req
165. Plus, one Pawneean was stung.Copy !req
166. In his mouth,
because he was laughing at the Eagletonians.Copy !req
167. How did you get your
bees into the wall,Copy !req
168. and how long did
it take to planCopy !req
169. this hilarious bee
prank on Eagleton?Copy !req
170. They were not my bees, Trodd. And
for the last time, this was not a prank.Copy !req
171. I did not know that
bees were in that wall.Copy !req
172. I mean, in fact, you should treat this
like a public service announcement.Copy !req
173. Everybody should check
their walls for bees.Copy !req
174. Nice try, Prank Queen.
Probably bees in there.Copy !req
175. Okay,
that's all the time I have.Copy !req
176. What else can you
do with your bees?Copy !req
177. Leslie,
what's your next prank?Copy !req
178. Oh, Leslie, Grant Larson is on the
phone from the National Parks Service.Copy !req
179. I cannot meet
with him right now.Copy !req
180. We are in
crisis mode. Okay?Copy !req
181. Larry, just tell him
I need to rescheduleCopy !req
182. because I am trying to fix
my bee hole disaster.Copy !req
183. Okey-dokey. Wait. No. Wait. No,
Larry. Don't tell him that.Copy !req
184. Don't mention my bee hole.Copy !req
185. Just as we suspected, John.Copy !req
186. We repaired
the valve stem seal,Copy !req
187. and now all that remains is
to tighten down his packing nutCopy !req
188. and that should do it.Copy !req
189. Can we help you?Copy !req
190. No, we have everything
under control.Copy !req
191. My crew is redoing
this whole floor.Copy !req
192. We're the only people
allowed up here right now.Copy !req
193. Well, proceed with your work.
You won't notice us at all.Copy !req
194. Well, we're gonna be
kind of loud.Copy !req
195. My son
is several weeks old.Copy !req
196. He's quite familiar with
the sound of power tools.Copy !req
197. Okay, how about this one?
LASIK for fingernails.Copy !req
198. You cut your fingernails once and
you never have to cut 'em again.Copy !req
199. All we need is a complicated
laser I have no idea how to build.Copy !req
200. Seems impossible.Copy !req
201. All right.Copy !req
202. Uh-oh! "Saltweens.
Saltines for tweens."Copy !req
203. Seems unnecessary.Copy !req
204. Ugh. The only
business idea I haveCopy !req
205. that's even remotely
fleshed out is a restaurant.Copy !req
206. No way. Restaurants
were ranked number oneCopy !req
207. in Accounting Magazine's
Riskiest Businesses issue.Copy !req
208. That was their last issue before they folded,
actually.Copy !req
209. Magazines are also
very risky.Copy !req
210. I can't believe an angel investor
floated down from the heavens,Copy !req
211. and I don't even have
anything to pitch him.Copy !req
212. Come on. You must have
had one good business idea.Copy !req
213. You're 52 years old.Copy !req
214. No, I'm not,
but I do have an idea. It's air-tight.Copy !req
215. But I have to warn you,
it's not super sexy.Copy !req
216. What is it?
Okay, listen up.Copy !req
217. You would be the middle man
between dry cleanersCopy !req
218. and the companies that
sell chemicals to dry cleaners.Copy !req
219. Wow.Copy !req
220. Right?Copy !req
221. You're right, man.
That is not sexy.Copy !req
222. Leslie Knope's little stunt put
three people in the hospital.Copy !req
223. This bee incident is
just the latest assaultCopy !req
224. coming from the Pawnee
side of this merger.Copy !req
225. Mike Patterson is Eagleton's
most tenacious reporter.Copy !req
226. When he sinks his
teeth into something,Copy !req
227. he's like
a dog with a bone!Copy !req
228. Oh,
my God. You can't lean in to whisperCopy !req
229. and then yell.
That's not fair.Copy !req
230. This merger is so fragile.Copy !req
231. Everyone is on edge,Copy !req
232. and no one is talking
about the Unity Concert.Copy !req
233. Why would anybody
think that was a prank?Copy !req
234. So sad. People will believe
anything. It was a prank, though, right?Copy !req
235. No more press, okay?Copy !req
236. You just have to
lay low for a while.Copy !req
237. I promise it'll all blow over.Copy !req
238. April, your competence and your
levelheadedness is very moving to me,Copy !req
239. and I will follow
your advice,Copy !req
240. right after I go
to the hospitalCopy !req
241. and apologize to
every victim in person.Copy !req
242. Fine, but no cameras.
Fine, I won't bring any.Copy !req
243. Ahhh! I can't handle
all this fighting!Copy !req
244. It's like Thanksgiving 2004
all over again. Don't even ask!Copy !req
245. Somebody follow me!
I'm distraught!Copy !req
246. Who's a good guy?Copy !req
247. Man, forget
about working.Copy !req
248. I just want to stare
at this baby all day.Copy !req
249. What is the nature of
your work on this floor?Copy !req
250. Total redo. New floors,
fixtures, plumbing.Copy !req
251. How long will it take?
Six to eight weeks.Copy !req
252. Deal.Copy !req
253. I will do all this work for
you in the time allotted.Copy !req
254. Just have your tools and
materials brought up here.Copy !req
255. Are you crazy? This is
enough work for a whole crew.Copy !req
256. I'm sure the government believed
you when you told them that,Copy !req
257. and I tip my cap to you for
profiting off their ignorance.Copy !req
258. But I am offering you
two months' paid vacationCopy !req
259. and the ability to take credit for my work,
which will be flawless.Copy !req
260. Okay.Copy !req
261. Guys, let's go.Copy !req
262. I've got all the help
I'll need right here.Copy !req
263. Okay, this is
the really exciting part.Copy !req
264. We buy tetrachloroethylene
at $1.60 a gallon,Copy !req
265. but we sell it back
at 2.38 a gallon.Copy !req
266. Now, I know
what you're thinking.Copy !req
267. "What if it's a cleaner who
wants to buy glycol ethers?"Copy !req
268. Ben, stop.Copy !req
269. This is so boring.Copy !req
270. This is like listening to a
TED talk by the color beige.Copy !req
271. Look, I know this
idea doesn't excite you,Copy !req
272. but I promise it'll
make you a lot of money.Copy !req
273. Well, I've sold
tons of awesome stuff.Copy !req
274. I guess it makes
sense my next challengeCopy !req
275. is to sell something
mind-numbingly dull.Copy !req
276. Dull?Copy !req
277. Does this
look dull to you?Copy !req
278. I am so
incredibly sorry.Copy !req
279. That's very kind
of you, Ms. Knope.Copy !req
280. I hope you look a lot
less gross very soon.Copy !req
281. Hey. Thanks for coming, Knope.
I knew we were besties.Copy !req
282. What have you got there for me,
some dirty mags?Copy !req
283. No. These gift baskets
are for innocent victims,Copy !req
284. not for jerks who
got stung becauseCopy !req
285. they were laughing at
other people's pain.Copy !req
286. Whatever. Got a lot of
filth on my Kindle anyway.Copy !req
287. We can just hang.Copy !req
288. Want to come up?
What?Copy !req
289. Got to get this.
Roll camera.Copy !req
290. Tell me when. Is my
hair okay? We're good?Copy !req
291. Welcome to Eagleton NowCopy !req
292. with Mike Patterson.Copy !req
293. We're live,
ambushing Leslie KnopeCopy !req
294. who's in
the middle ofCopy !req
295. a crass
publicity stunt.Copy !req
296. Shoving cameras
into the facesCopy !req
297. of these poor,
injured victims.Copy !req
298. These are your cameras.
This is not a publicity stunt.Copy !req
299. I just came here by
myself to apologizeCopy !req
300. to all the Eagletonians
who got stung.Copy !req
301. Really? Because all we see
is you talking to your friend,Copy !req
302. known Eagleton hater,
Jeremy Jamm.Copy !req
303. Excuse me, Mike,
that's best friend.Copy !req
304. Pawneeans and
Eagletonians need toCopy !req
305. find a way to come together
and bury the hatchet.Copy !req
306. It doesn't matter who bailed out
who or who seceded from who.Copy !req
307. Awesome idea, Lezzie.Copy !req
308. As a matter of fact,
I say we should secede from Eagleton.Copy !req
309. Whose dumb-ass idea was it
for them to merge, anyway?Copy !req
310. Mine. It was my idea.Copy !req
311. You heard it here first.Copy !req
312. Self-proclaimed dumb-ass Leslie
Knope and Councilman Jeremy JammCopy !req
313. are spearheading
a Pawnee secession movement.Copy !req
314. And I, for one,
am sick of it.Copy !req
315. You know what, Eagleton,
enough! Get these cameras out of here.Copy !req
316. Don't touch my camera,
you Pawnee animal.Copy !req
317. Name-calling?
Classy move, douchebag.Copy !req
318. Oh!Copy !req
319. Oh, no!Copy !req
320. No, no,
no. No fighting in the hospital.Copy !req
321. Oh, my God!
What's happening?Copy !req
322. Mother puncher!Copy !req
323. Hey, girl. What up?Copy !req
324. What are you wearing?Copy !req
325. It's to distract people
from my black eye.Copy !req
326. See? It's working.Copy !req
327. Cool. Well, there
is some good news.Copy !req
328. That Mike Patterson guy's show just aired,
everyone is angry,Copy !req
329. and Jamm is
introducingCopy !req
330. a secession bill at the next
City Council meeting.Copy !req
331. How is any of that
good news? It's not.Copy !req
332. I just wanted you to
have a brief momentCopy !req
333. of happiness
before you got sadder.Copy !req
334. Those jerks that hate
the merger are a minority.Copy !req
335. They're just shouting
louder than everyone else.Copy !req
336. I'm sorry this town
keeps being stupidCopy !req
337. and letting you down.
It sucks.Copy !req
338. It's okay, April.
It's fine.Copy !req
339. You know, it's a challenge.
It's just like a big, fun...Copy !req
340. stinking turd nugget.
It sucks.Copy !req
341. You're right.
Everything sucks.Copy !req
342. Everything I try with
this merger backfires.Copy !req
343. I wonder what other
excellent surpriseCopy !req
344. lies in store
for Leslie Knope.Copy !req
345. Leslie, Grant Larson from
the National Parks ServiceCopy !req
346. is here for
your meeting.Copy !req
347. Excellent.Copy !req
348. Now I shall meet with
a very important personCopy !req
349. whilst sporting
a gruesome shiner.Copy !req
350. Hey, you're also
wearing a tie-dye T-shirt.Copy !req
351. Yes, I am. Wonderful!Copy !req
352. Mitch!
Thanks for meeting me.Copy !req
353. My pleasure.Copy !req
354. It's not often that I see someone
with your sparkle and passion.Copy !req
355. That's what makes
businesses work. Passion.Copy !req
356. So, Mr. Haverford,
let's get to it.Copy !req
357. What idea are you
passionate about?Copy !req
358. I've got two words
for you.Copy !req
359. Tom's Bistro.Copy !req
360. An old-fashioned,
old world Italian restaurant.Copy !req
361. Classy, authentic ambiance
in a small town setting.Copy !req
362. Why does that say
"Dry Cleaning ChemicalCopy !req
363. "Transactional
Holding Company"?Copy !req
364. Ben! You brought
the wrong easel!Copy !req
365. God! Can't take
this guy anywhere.Copy !req
366. Let me paint you
a picture.Copy !req
367. Oh, Mr. Larson, I'm sorry
I had to reschedule.Copy !req
368. It's been kind
of a hectic week.Copy !req
369. What happened
to your face?Copy !req
370. It doesn't matter.Copy !req
371. I would like to apply to
turn some of our new landCopy !req
372. into a national park.Copy !req
373. I read your request,
Ms. Knope.Copy !req
374. And I am sorry,
but we can't make that happen.Copy !req
375. Great. Well,
this week just keeps getting better and better.Copy !req
376. Thank you for coming byCopy !req
377. and plunging a dagger into
my already bleeding corpse.Copy !req
378. I came here because
I wanted to meet you.Copy !req
379. I've actually wanted to meet
you since before you called me.Copy !req
380. Really?
You know who I am?Copy !req
381. Yes. You're the person
who wrote this.Copy !req
382. You read my proposal to
clean up the Pawnee River?Copy !req
383. I wrote this two years ago.Copy !req
384. It got shuffled around
at Interior for a year and a half.Copy !req
385. Liam Bonneville actually used it to
humiliate staffers, but...Copy !req
386. He's kind of a bad boy.Copy !req
387. Liam. You don't
have to tell me.Copy !req
388. This report is legendary.Copy !req
389. It's easily the most
thoroughly researchedCopy !req
390. and passionate grant
request I've ever seen.Copy !req
391. Wow, you have no idea how
meaningful it is to hear you say that.Copy !req
392. But you're a little late. The
river cleanup's well under way.Copy !req
393. This is bigger than
the river cleanup.Copy !req
394. We're opening a new
office in Chicago.Copy !req
395. I've spent the last few weeks
reading about you and your career,Copy !req
396. and I think that you're
the perfect person to run it.Copy !req
397. Leslie, would you like to run a
branch of the National Parks Service?Copy !req
398. Tom's Bistro will have all the classic elements,
but with modern twists.Copy !req
399. An oak bar, live music,
and Sunday brunch with scrambled eggs so fluffy,Copy !req
400. they'll be like little
pillows for your bacon.Copy !req
401. Bacon pillows.
I like the sound of that.Copy !req
402. But I have to say,
restaurants are incredibly risky.Copy !req
403. Most of them are
dead on arrival.Copy !req
404. We're well aware of that, but believe me,
Tom has thought this out.Copy !req
405. See, there's plenty of
real estate availableCopy !req
406. in the old Eagleton
part of town.Copy !req
407. And with the recent closures,Copy !req
408. there's massive demand for
affordable dining that feels high-end.Copy !req
409. Okay!Copy !req
410. As long as you're
running it, I'm in.Copy !req
411. Amazing.Copy !req
412. Hey,
kid. Your boss here sure knows his stuff.Copy !req
413. Ron, what are
you doing here?Copy !req
414. The most important
government work I've ever done.Copy !req
415. Sanding rat urine stains
out of this floor.Copy !req
416. What are you doing here?Copy !req
417. I come here to think
sometimes, by myself.Copy !req
418. But now that you're
here.. . Damn it.Copy !req
419. I am going to speak to you very
vaguely about a problem that I have.Copy !req
420. And you cannot ask me any
questions or details about it.Copy !req
421. That is my ideal conversation,
aside from no conversation.Copy !req
422. But that feels unlikely.Copy !req
423. Look, you know how
much I love Pawnee.Copy !req
424. But the more I try to fix it,
the more people fight me.Copy !req
425. They call me names, they recall me,
they try to kill the merger.Copy !req
426. They literally
punch me in the face.Copy !req
427. And yet, every time I
contemplate leaving,Copy !req
428. just walking away
once and for all,Copy !req
429. I just can't do it.Copy !req
430. What is wrong with me?Copy !req
431. Yesterday, I fixed
that old steam radiator.Copy !req
432. Threaded a new
valve into the side,Copy !req
433. removed the handle
from the base,Copy !req
434. unscrewed the packing nut
from the stem.Copy !req
435. This sub-par toolbox
only had one wrench,Copy !req
436. so I was lucky it was a three-quarters
or I'd have been screwed.Copy !req
437. Yeah,
man. You are lucky. Come on, Ron.Copy !req
438. What the hell?
I need your help.Copy !req
439. By the time I was done,Copy !req
440. this 100-year-old piece
of American-made cast ironCopy !req
441. was singing like a bird.Copy !req
442. Now, to most people,
this story would seem boring.Copy !req
443. That's ridiculous. It's a
story about a radiator.Copy !req
444. But to me, it was
immensely satisfyingCopy !req
445. because I enjoy
fixing radiators.Copy !req
446. You like fixing this town,
Leslie. You always have.Copy !req
447. You know it's an uphill battle,
but you love the struggle.Copy !req
448. I would also add
that you've already doneCopy !req
449. a hell of a lot to
make this town better.Copy !req
450. And people like
this young man hereCopy !req
451. will benefit
from your hard work.Copy !req
452. He's a beautiful boy.Copy !req
453. He is quite a looker.Copy !req
454. Thank you, Ron.Copy !req
455. What's that?
Nothing.Copy !req
456. Clearing my throat.Copy !req
457. I've been thinking
a lot about your offer.Copy !req
458. And I have to say,
I can't think ofCopy !req
459. one single reason
not to take it.Copy !req
460. That's great. I'll start
drawing up the paperwork.Copy !req
461. I'm sorry. I meant because I can
think of a lot of reasons not to take it.Copy !req
462. Okay, that's a very
misleading phraseology.Copy !req
463. I'm sorry. It's an amazing offer,
and I'm very interested.Copy !req
464. But if I'm going
to leave Pawnee,Copy !req
465. I need to know it's gonna
be okay without me.Copy !req
466. And I won't know until I've
finished what I've started.Copy !req
467. When do you
need your answer?Copy !req
468. Well, the gears of
federal governmentCopy !req
469. grind pretty slowly,
so you have a little time.Copy !req
470. But we can't wait forever.Copy !req
471. I'll be in touch.Copy !req
472. Great, thank you.Copy !req
473. That's not your hand.
Here it is.Copy !req
474. Sorry, my depth perception
is totally screwed up.Copy !req
475. I'm really happy that
worked out for you, Tom,Copy !req
476. but you kind of
sold me out back there.Copy !req
477. I know, and I'm sorry.Copy !req
478. But Mitch asked me what
I was passionate about.Copy !req
479. And honestly,
I'm never going to beCopy !req
480. passionate about dry
cleaning chemicals.Copy !req
481. To each his own,
I guess.Copy !req
482. I know opening
a restaurant is risky.Copy !req
483. But I can make this work.
I know I can.Copy !req
484. Then count me in as the
second investor in Tom's Bistro.Copy !req
485. Thanks, Ben.Copy !req
486. I know this is
a symbolic gesture,Copy !req
487. but my investor
floor is $1,000.Copy !req
488. So, as of now,
you own zero shares.Copy !req
489. Cool. Thanks for
clearing that up.Copy !req
490. Now, go do work or I will
fire you. I'm not kidding.Copy !req
491. Yep.Copy !req
492. Oh, look, John.
It's red pine.Copy !req
493. They were going to put
flecked linoleumCopy !req
494. over this beautifully
preserved knotty red pine.Copy !req
495. Most people in this world,
John, are ass...Copy !req
496. This is the best dayCopy !req
497. I've ever spent in
a government building.Copy !req
498. And luckily,
my son was here to share it with me.Copy !req
499. He now has that satisfied look that
only comes with the pride of labor.Copy !req
500. Or he pooped.Copy !req
501. Either way,
well done, John.Copy !req