Parks and Recreation 5x18

Directed by Craig Zisk

Donick Cary as Vern Palletta • Katie Dippold as Mindy Marfan • Timothy Hornor as Jim Ferkman • Kevin Symons as Councilman Dexhart • Harris Wittels as Harris

Leslie decides to give the Animal Control Department a much-needed makeover. Ann tries to get Ron the medical attention he needs. Ben, Tom, and Andy recruit donors for their charity foundation.

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1. THOSE ARE SOME CHAIRS. THAT'S A CAT OR OPOSSUM.

2. OH, THIS IS A NAPKIN

3. A COOL NAME FOR A DOG. "BARK OBAMA."

4. - RIGHT?

5. WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE?

6. - OH. YO. YEAH. WE FOUND THIS BIRD OUTSIDE.

7. INTO A WORK WHISTLE,

8. OF THE FLINTSTONES.

9. TOUGHER THAN IT LOOKED, THOUGH.

10. IN THIS TOWN,

11. AND IT'S BECAUSE

12. HAS BEEN A DISASTER... AT CATCHING ANIMALS.

13. THEY'RE GREAT AT INGESTING AND SELLING MARIJUANA.

14. LOSERS.

15. IT'S COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY MISMANAGED.

16. - THANKS!

17. VERY POORLY RUN,

18. BUT WE'VE ONLY BEEN HERE FOR TWO MINUTES.

19. TO THEIR MADNESS.

20. THERE'S MORE THAN ONE WAY TO SKIN A CAT.

21. - FOUR. THERE'S FOUR WAYS TO SKIN A CAT. REGULAR BLADE—

22. - OW! AH! WHAT IS THIS?

23. - COYOTE TRAP, DUDE. - AH! THIS HURTS!

24. - YEAH, WE GOT, LIKE, A HUGE VERMIN PROBLEM.

25. I MEAN, WE'VE BEEN MEANING TO CALL SOMEBODY ABOUT IT,

26. BUT YOU KNOW, NOBODY GET ON THE PHONE.

27. - YOU'RE THE PEOPLE YOU WOULD BE CALLING.

28. THAT IS SO TRIPPY.

29. - OW! YOU'RE FIRED! YOU'RE FIRED!

30. IS FIRED.

31. OW, THIS HURTS! THIS WAS ONE OF MY RUNNING FEET!

32. - YO, LET'S GO TO JAMAICA. - NO, WE SHOULD GO TO JAMAICA.

33. OH, IS THAT WHAT YOU SAID?

34. - YEAH, DOG.

35. - RON, YOU'VE BEEN SWEATING IN HERE ALL DAY.

36. ANY FLUIDS?

37. - YES, PLENTY.

38. - NO, YOU NEED TO DRINK WATER.

39. IN THE NAME OF HEALTH.

40. LAST NIGHT, I WATCHED A MOVIE

41. IS SEPARATED FROM HIS FATHER.

42. WERE SNIFFLING,

43. TO THE SAD NATURE OF THE FILM.

44. I WAS WRONG.

45. THOSE LAYERS,

46. REHYDRATE, AND GO TO THE DOCTOR.

47. - THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN, I WILL BE FINE.

48. UP TO 90 AND LEAVE ME ALONE.

49. - RON, THIS ISN'T SAFE.

50. - I AM A GROWN MAN.

51. I HAVE HAD A COLD BEFORE, I NEED NO HELP,

52. SO IF YOU DON'T MIND—

53. - THAT SEEMS ABOUT RIGHT.

54. - OKAY, POP QUIZ. NAME THE SCENT.

55. - UH, "SPASM." NO, "BUTTER FACE"!

56. - VERY GOOD! - YES!

57. I'M TRYING TO GET

58. TO THE SWEETUMS FOUNDATION,

59. WITH DENNIS FEINSTEIN,

60. PAWNEE'S PREMIERE MANUFACTURER OF PERFUMES AND COLOGNE.

61. OH!

62. OR POSSIBLY, INSECTICIDE. WHEW!

63. RAPPERS, TECH GENIUSES, X GAMES MEDALLISTS,

64. AND OF COURSE, "SCENT ARTISTS."

65. THE MAN OWNS A ROLEXUS.

66. IT'S A LEXUS FILLED WITH ROLEXES.

67. - WHAT'S THE POINT OF THAT?

68. - TO HAVE IT, WHICH HE DOES.

69. - OKAY, I'LL LAY OUT THE BENEFITS OF DONATING.

70. AS ONLY TOM CAN.

71. ANDY, YOU KNOW, THIS IS JUST A LEARNING EXPERIENCE FOR YOU,

72. AND LISTEN.

73. TO GET THIS MEETING,

74. SO PLEASE, NO ONE EMBARRASS ME.

75. BEN, PUT ON SOMETHING DECENT, LIKE A TUX.

76. ANDY, YOU'RE HOPELESS, JUST TAKE A SHOWER.

77. A "DWYER SHOWER."

78. WITH AIR FRESHENERS.

79. NEW CAR.

80. FOR SOME OF THIS GOVERNMENT'S MOST INCOMPETENT EMPLOYEES.

81. GOT HIS START THERE.

82. - YEAH, SO OUR NEW DIRECTOR NEEDS TO BE COMPETENT,

83. EFFECTIVE, AND NOT COMPLETELY STONED ALL THE TIME.

84. - I'M WAY AHEAD OF YOU THERE, GIRLY.

85. I GOT THE PERFECT GUY.

86. FRIEND OF MINE, BIT OF AN ALCOHOLIC,

87. A LITTLE GRABBY, EITHER A WAR HERO OR WAR CRIMINAL,

88. DEPENDING ON WHO YOU ASK, BUT A GOOD DUDE.

89. - HOW DO YOU KNOW HIM? - I DO HIS TEETH.

90. A FEW COFFEE STAINS UP FRONT, BUT HIS CANINES ARE INSANE.

91. - GOSH, JEREMY, HE SOUNDS PERFECT.

92. ARE HIS GUMS GREAT TOO? - OH, YEAH.

93. THEY ARE EXCELLENT, BEET RED.

94. FOR MORE DISCUSSION. - UH, MAYBE YOU WOULD LIKE

95. TO EXPLAIN THIS TO HER, PLEASE?

96. - TRADITIONALLY, LESLIE,

97. ON DEPARTMENTAL APPOINTMENTS.

98. - YEAH, THIS ONE IS MINE, THEN DEXHART, THEN YOU.

99. - THIS WHOLE PLACE RUNS ON DIBS.

100. - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU GUYS ARE ALL FINE WITH THIS?

101. WELL, MILTON'S ASLEEP, BUT THE REST OF YOU?

102. GET MISMANAGED.

103. NO. WE ARE GOING TO BE THOROUGH.

104. I'M GOING TO FIND A CANDIDATE,

105. TO DO THE SAME,

106. AND THEN, WE WILL INTERVIEW ALL OF THEM.

107. - "BORING" IS MY MIDDLE NAME, SO...

108. OUT OF THE WATER.

109. - OH, I GUESS I'M LEAVING. GOOD TO SEE YOU. GREAT MEETING!

110. - I'D LIKE TO OBJECT AGAIN

111. AGAINST MY WILL.

112. - OKAY, I'M JUST GONNA DOUBLE-CHECK YOUR FORM HERE.

113. RON! YOU REDACTED ALL THE INFORMATION.

114. - I ANSWERED SOME OF THEM. - FOR "DATE OF BIRTH,"

115. - WHICH IS TRUE.

116. TO GIVE REAL ANSWERS.

117. DO YOU CONSUME A WEEK?

118. - ONE. - THAT'S IT, ONE DRINK?

119. - ONE SHELF.

120. - DO YOU EXERCISE? - YES.

121. AND WOODWORKING.

122. MENTAL ILLNESS IN YOUR FAMILY?

123. WHO DOES YOGA.

124. - ALLERGIES? - COWARDICE AND WEAK-WILLED MEN.

125. AND HAZELNUTS.

126. - SEXUAL HISTORY.

127. - EPIC AND PRIVATE.

128. - OKAY. I'M GONNA GO GET YOUR DOCTOR.

129. HE'S A RUDE, BRASH JERK. YOU'LL LOVE HIM.

130. - I'M GONNA CUT RIGHT TO THE CHASE.

131. I DON'T LIKE CHARITY. I DON'T GET IT.

132. I'M GIVING MONEY AWAY,

133. IN RETURN.

134. IF YOU SHOW THAT YOU'RE A MOGUL THAT GIVES AS MUCH AS HE GETS.

135. - IF I GIVE AS MUCH AS I GET, I'M GIVING $20 MILLION.

136. AY YI YI.

137. THAT'S HOW MUCH I'M WORTH, 20... MILLION... DOLLARS.

138. - YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

139. AH, HE'S DISGUSTING,

140. SO I'M JUST GONNA KEEP ON SMILING. YAY!

141. - PEOPLE WHO GIVE TO CHARITY, THEY GET AMAZING PRESS.

142. - HUH. - LIKE BILL GATES.

143. HEARD OF BILL GATES?

144. HE LIVES IN SEATTLE, GUY WITH GLASSES.

145. BILL GATES?

146. - I KNOW WHO BILL GATES IS.

147. IS THIS SOME SORT OF NERD THING? ARE YOU CALLING ME A NERD?

148. - UH, HE MEANT MARK CUBAN.

149. - CUBAN? NOW, THAT'S THE KIND OF GUY

150. MARK CUBAN.

151. - YEAH. - I'M INTERESTED NOW.

152. KEEP TALKING.

153. - STAY STILL.

154. - "DON'T THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH THIS ITCHES."

155. THAT'S VERY GOOD ADVICE.

156. - I HAVE TO SAY,

157. DEPARTMENT HEAD.

158. WITH THREE.

159. - I'M NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU. I NEEDED THAT.

160. APRIL LUDGATE IS BEAUTIFUL... - STOP.

161. - YOU ARE TALENTED... - NO.

162. - BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU'RE PASSIONATE ABOUT ANIMALS.

163. - THAT'S TRUE. IT'S BECAUSE I'M HALF WOLF.

164. - OKAY, DONNA, YOU TOOK A LOOK AT ALL THE RESUMES,

165. THE BEST CANDIDATE.

166. - WASSUP? I'M HARRIS. I'M 33 YEARS YOUNG.

167. I HAVE MY COUSIN JASON'S TRUCK FOR TWO MORE WEEKS.

168. AND I'M DOWN TO CLOWN.

169. - HARRIS, WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I LITERALLY JUST FIRED YOU.

170. - OH, IS THIS THAT JOB? THAT'S CRAZY! NEVER MIND.

171. WOULD BE THE BEST CANDIDATE?

172. - 'CAUSE HE'S ONE

173. AT ANIMAL CONTROL.

174. - WHAT UP? YO, MY NAME IS BRETT.

175. I LIKE BURGERS, AND ALSO, I'M VERY HIGH RIGHT NOW.

176. - DUDE, THIS IS HILARIOUS! - OH, YO!

177. - WE LIVE TOGETHER! - YO, WE LIVE IN THE SAME PLACE!

178. - THIS IS MY BOY! - HEY, "WYLD STALLYNS"!

179. ALL THOSE COPS OUT THERE?

180. - WHERE ARE THE COPS AT?

181. - I GOTTA GO. - YO.

182. SPEND OUR MONEY WISELY. - OKAY.

183. YOU KNOW WHAT? SHUT UP. - ALL RIGHT.

184. AND I'M FEELING PRETTY GENEROUS, SO WHY DON'T WE

185. TO THE PAWNEE SMOKEHOUSE?

186. DUMB-DUMB EDDIE, GET THE CHECKBOOK.

187. WE'RE GOING OUT.

188. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

189. GUYS, WE'RE GOING OUT. LET'S SCENT UP!

190. - I CALL DIBS ON "OOZE."

191. - I GOT "MONEY SHOT." - YEAH.

192. - I GOT "BLOOD SPURT."

193. - OOH, NO, DON'T USE THAT ONE.

194. EH, GO AHEAD.

195. - SO WHY DO YOU WANT THIS JOB?

196. - WELL, I LOVE CATS, AND DOGS SURE ARE GREAT.

197. - WELL, YOU HAVE ALL THE QUALIFICATIONS.

198. - ACTUALLY, WHEN I WENT THERE, IT WAS JUST A TWO-YEAR COLLEGE.

199. - WOW, SO YOU'RE NOT EVEN

200. AT YOUR CURRENT JOB.

201. - YOU'RE FIRED. GET OUT. - NO, NO, YOU'RE NOT FIRED,

202. BUT WE'RE DEFINITELY GOING TO HAVE TO LOWER YOUR SALARY.

203. - OH, WELL, FAIR'S FAIR.

204. - I AM VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY FRIGHTENED OF ANIMALS.

205. THE JOB FOR YOU.

206. - I KNOW, BUT MY THERAPIST, DR. RICHARD NYGARD,

207. TO CONFRONT MY FEARS.

208. - YOU SEE DR. RICHARD NYGARD? I'M A NYGARDIAN TOO!

209. WOULD YOU SIGN MY CAST?

210. - YES, BUT JUST PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME THIS JOB.

211. AND NEUTERING TOOLS,

212. THOSE FIT HUMANS?

213. - MM-MMM. MM-MMM. MM-MMM.

214. ON THE SPAYING ROOM DOOR?

215. FOR COMING IN.

216. - THANKS FOR HAVING ME. - OKAY.

217. - HELLO, ORIN. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR APPLYING, NOW LEAVE.

218. - HEY, GIVE HIM A CHANCE.

219. FOR ANIMAL CONTROL?

220. IN COLLEGE,

221. WITH MY MIND.

222. - GET OUT. - I MADE YOU SAY THAT.

223. - I LIKED HIM.

224. WELL, THAT WAS

225. SLATE OF CANDIDATES.

226. - I THINK YOU'VE GOT SEVERAL OPTIONS.

227. THEY'RE ALL TERRIBLE, BUT YOU HAVE THEM.

228. - BEFORE YOU BEGIN, A FEW GROUND RULES.

229. BEFORE YOU DO IT,

230. OH!

231. UGH!

232. BALSA WOOD? YOU COULD AT LEAST USE MAHOGANY.

233. - THERE'S SOMETHING OCCLUDING YOUR EAR.

234. - IT'S SAWDUST. JUST BLOW.

235. - OH. - YOU'VE GOT STREP THROAT.

236. I'M WRITING YOU A PRESCRIPTION FOR PENICILLIN.

237. WE'LL HAVE THE REST

238. IN ABOUT 20 MINUTES.

239. - NOT INTERESTED. GOOD DAY.

240. WERE LIKE THAT.

241. IT'S REALLY ANNOYING WHEN THEY ASK QUESTIONS.

242. - YOU KNOW,

243. IS BAD FOR YOU,

244. TO BACK THAT UP?

245. - GREAT POINT.

246. A LOT RECENTLY.

247. BY 30%...

248. TO 70%.

249. - SNOOZE. YOU GUYS EVER BEEN FOX HUNTING?

250. FLOWN IN FROM RUSSIA.

251. SO THEY CAN'T GET VERY FAR.

252. IN FACT, MOSTLY, THEY JUST FLOP AROUND ON THE GROUND.

253. TO JUST WALK UP AND "POW!"

254. - STUPID FOXES. IT'S DEEPLY EROTIC.

255. - THAT SOUNDS AMAZING.

256. SOMETIME.

257. FALL 2010 COLLECTION.

258. COPPED IT IN 2012. CLEARANCE RACK!

259. AS LONG AS IT'S NOT TOO BRIGHT OR REFLECTIVE.

260. YOU KNOW, I WANT YOU BLENDING IN TO THE SURROUNDINGS.

261. HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN?

262. WANTS TO HUNT ME.

263. - SO, DENNIS,

264. - THEN DON'T. BOOM! HA HA!

265. SHUT HIM RIGHT DOWN!

266. FROM YOU.

267. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR FAT MOUTH SAY ANYTHING ELSE.

268. BOO! - OH.

269. - YOU'RE A DICK.

270. - EXCUSE ME?

271. ASKING FOR MONEY,

272. AND YOU TREAT ME LIKE THIS? I DON'T THINK SO.

273. WRAP IT UP! WE'RE DONE!

274. HEY! SHOW THESE GARBAGE PEOPLE OUT!

275. TAKE THE GARBAGE OUT, EDDIE.

276. - DONNA?

277. - GENTLEMEN.

278. - MR. PALLETTA, WHAT IS YOUR OCCUPATION CURRENTLY?

279. - I RUN A CHILDREN'S

280. "D.J. JAZZY VERN'S."

281. WITH ANIMALS?

282. - UH, A BAT LANDED ON MY FACE ONCE.

283. - HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, HE'S NOT A RACK OF RIBS,

284. SO STOP GRILLING HIM.

285. THAN GRILLED,

286. SO UN-NAILED IT, WITH THE BACK PART OF THE HAMMER.

287. ARE THERE GONNA BE?

288. IF I GOT MY TEETH WHITENED,

289. I'D JUST GET THE GIG. - UH, GA GA GA—HO.

290. HOLD UP, THAT'S ENOUGH. THANK YOU, YOU'RE DONE.

291. YOU DID A HECK OF A JOB, VERNIE.

292. - THANKS, JIMBO.

293. - NOT BAD, RIGHT? I MEAN,

294. SIX-YEAR-OLDS TO POP AND LOCK,

295. HE'S A HOME RUN.

296. AN INSANE STATEMENT.

297. - WELL, I DON'T SEE ANYONE BETTER.

298. - APRIL, I GOT A PRESENT FOR YOU.

299. - I DON'T LIKE LOTION.

300. LIKE A RAILWAY WORKER.

301. - I KNOW. I FILLED THE BOTTLES WITH FAKE BLOOD,

302. - REALLY? THANKS. - ON AN UNRELATED NOTE,

303. WHO DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANIMALS?

304. EXCEPT FOR JERRY, WHO WAS GREAT,

305. FOR OTHER REASONS.

306. TO BE CONSIDERED.

307. - ANYHOO, I NOMINATED YOU FOR THE POSITION,

308. IS IN THREE MINUTES.

309. SURPRISE. - NO, I DON'T WANT THE JOB.

310. YOUR MUD AND BLOOD BACK.

311. - APRIL, PLEASE, YOU WILL BE SO GOOD AT IT.

312. WITH ANIMALS.

313. - EVEN IF I WANTED THE JOB, I DON'T WANT TO DO

314. CONFIRMATION HEARING, OKAY?

315. - NO, IT'S EASY—THEY'LL JUST ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS.

316. LET'S PRACTICE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

317. - BATMAN. SEE? I FAILED.

318. TO HELP YOU, OKAY?

319. I WILL BE YOUR POCAHONTAS.

320. CLIMB INTO MY PAPOOSE. PLEASE DO THIS.

321. PLEASE, PLEASE. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT.

322. DO IT. YOU'RE GONNA DO IT. - OKAY.

323. - YES! YAY! - BUT ONLY IF YOU DIVORCE BEN.

324. - HEY, DON'T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT.

325. - WHAT? I REALLY THINK HE'S WRONG FOR YOU.

326. THE ANIMAL CONTROL DEPARTMENT.

327. - OKAY. LET'S TEAR THIS CHICK A NEW ONE, SHALL WE?

328. MS. LUDGATE,

329. LESLIE KNOPE'S ASSISTANT.

330. - ANDY? THAT'S MY HUSBAND.

331. EXTREMELY GRAPHIC,

332. OF THOSE TERMS, AND I'M A FREAK.

333. - THOSE ARE PERSONAL. NO ONE'S ALLOWED TO READ THOSE.

334. WHILE YOU WERE STILL A MINOR. HOW DO YOU JUSTIFY THAT?

335. - EASILY. ALCOHOL IS DELICIOUS AND FUN...

336. - ... DAMENTALLY A SUBSTANCE THAT SHOULD NOT BE ABUSED.

337. I AGREE, APRIL. VERY GOOD POINT.

338. - WOW. MS. LUDGATE, ARE YOU A VENTRILOQUIST?

339. I MEAN, THAT IS AMAZING

340. OF MS. KNOPE'S MOUTH.

341. TO PUT HER ON YOUR KNEE?

342. I MEAN, THAT'D BE REALLY FUN.

343. JUST THREE YEARS AGO,

344. - SHE'S NOT READY.

345. NOW, YOU'VE RUSHED HER INTO THIS,

346. AND NOW, JAMM'S SHARPENING THE KNIVES.

347. LESLIE, NO ONE NEEDS TO BE JAMMED TODAY.

348. - OKAY, ALL WE NEED IS SOME KIND OF DISTRACTION.

349. AND BREAK YOUR OTHER FOOT.

350. OF DOUBLE THE SIGNINGS,

351. OUTWEIGH THE POSITIVES.

352. - DON'T PANIC. MAYBE SHE CAN PULL THIS OFF.

353. TO FILL YOUR OFFICE, HOUSE, AND CAR WITH SNAKES,

354. TO FLY UP YOUR BUTT.

355. - OKAY! LET'S TAKE A BRIEF RECESS.

356. - WELL, WELL, WELL. LOOK WHO'S BACK.

357. FOR SEEING US AGAIN, SIR.

358. TO APOLOGIZE.

359. - MR. DENNIS FEINSTEIN,

360. LET ME JUST SAY, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART,

361. MY BAD.

362. WORKING HERE,

363. A GOOD JOB, AND I BLEW IT.

364. FOR SAYING THAT.

365. THOUGHT ABOUT IT LAST NIGHT,

366. AND APOLOGIZED TO ME LIKE A MAN,

367. THAT I WOULD FORGIVE YOU, AND THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE DONE,

368. SO YOU'RE FORGIVEN.

369. TO THAT END, HERE IS A CHECK FOR $25,000 FOR YOUR CHARITY.

370. - OH!

371. WITH THEIR PINK EYE,

372. - MR. FEINSTEIN, THANK YOU. THIS IS EXTREMELY GENEROUS.

373. - IT'S NOTHING, REALLY. I'M HAPPY TO HELP.

374. TO "GO YOURSELF."

375. - IN YOUR FACE!

376. HELPS NO MAN!

377. OUT OF MY OFFICE!

378. APOLOGIZE TO HIM? - GUYS, GUYS, JUST HOLD IT—

379. HOLD ON A SEC, OKAY?

380. MR. FEINSTEIN,

381. WITH ALL DUE RESPECT...

382. YOU ARE A MAJOR DICK.

383. - EDDIE, GET MY CROSSBOW. - CROSSBOW? WHAT THE—

384. - YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!

385. - HEY, YOU LOOK BETTER.

386. CAN BE EFFECTIVE.

387. WHO'DA THUNK?

388. - PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

389. AND YOUR BLOOD WORK.

390. LOOKS FINE.

391. I'M NOT SURE HOW THIS IS POSSIBLE,

392. IS 120,

393. I'VE EVER SEEN.

394. IS THAT YOUR POTASSIUM'S LOW,

395. ONCE IN AWHILE.

396. - NO, THANK YOU. I LIVE THE WAY I LIVE,

397. I EAT THE THINGS I EAT, AND I'LL DIE THE WAY I'LL DIE.

398. - THAT'S ODDLY BEAUTIFUL... BUT ALSO STUPID.

399. YOU'RE NOT ALONE IN THE WORLD ANYMORE, RON.

400. YOU'RE DATING A WOMAN WHO HAS TWO KIDS, SO EVERY THREE DAYS,

401. AND DIANE,

402. AND EAT A DAMN BANANA.

403. - I AM SO SORRY, APRIL.

404. YOU ARE DOING TERRIBLY UP THERE, AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT.

405. - ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME? - I'M BREAKING UP WITH THE IDEA

406. OF ANIMAL CONTROL.

407. AND LET VERN BECOME DIRECTOR. HE DOES HAVE GOOD TEETH.

408. - NO!

409. ALL RIGHT, I HAVE AN IDEA. TRUST ME.

410. - MS. LUDGATE, IT IS THE OPINION

411. THAT YOU ARE TERRIBLE.

412. WHY YOU'RE THE RIGHT MAN FOR THIS JOB?

413. - NO. BUT NEITHER IS YOUR GUY.

414. SHOULD GET THE JOB.

415. - OH, NO? WHY IS THAT?

416. - THERE SHOULDN'T BE A SEPARATE ANIMAL CONTROL DEPARTMENT.

417. ITS BUDGET IS TINY, AND IT'S INEFFECTIVE,

418. AND FRANKLY, NO ONE COULD CHANGE THAT.

419. INTO THE PARKS DEPARTMENT.

420. - THAT IS A GENIUS IDEA.

421. SOMEBODY WAKE UP MILTON. HISTORY IS BEING MADE.

422. - IWO JIMA!

423. AND IF YOU WANT, I CAN

424. TO UNDERSTAND, DUMMIES.

425. - COUNCILMAN,

426. - HANG ON A SECOND.

427. HE GOT THE JOB,

428. A NEW SPEEDBOAT.

429. - WELL, I HOPE HE KEPT A RECEIPT.

430. FROM A DARK, TORTURED GENIUS,

431. BE ABSORBED INTO PARKS AND REC.

432. - I SECOND THAT.

433. - YAY!

434. LOOK AT THAT, APRIL. YOU WON OVER JAMM.

435. I'M JUST SICK OF BEING ON THE LOSING SIDE.

436. I'M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE THIS WAS MY IDEA.

437. RETRO-JAMMED.

438. I'M GETTING REALLY GOOD AT APOLOGIZING.

439. - SCREW THAT.

440. TO THAT GUY.

441. - GOD, WE REALLY COULD'VE USED THE MONEY, THOUGH.

442. JUST WISH WE'D MADE A BIGGER IMPRESSION.

443. - YOU DID—

444. THE FOUNDATION'S DONE

445. FOR ALL THEM POOR HOMIES, SO YOU KNOW WHAT?

446. WE MAKE THIS MONTH.

447. IT'S NOT FEINSTEIN MONEY, BUT IT'LL HELP.

448. - THAT'S VERY GENEROUS, TOM.

449. FEINSTEIN'S THE WORST.

450. THAT ROLEX MOBILE.

451. - FOR THE LAST TIME, IT'S A ROLEXUS,

452. AND YOU CAN'T DRIVE IT.

453. - APRIL, I HAVE A GIFT FOR YOU. TA DA.

454. - AT LESLIE'S SUGGESTION,

455. WITHIN THE PARKS DEPARTMENT.

456. YOU'LL BE AMAZING AT IT, AND THE BEST PART,

457. SO QUICKLY?

458. YOUR FIRST WEEK HERE.

459. I KNEW YOU'D BE GOING PLACES, SO I WANTED TO BE PREPARED.

460. - CAN I HIRE AN INTERN? - NOT YET.

461. - CAN I HIRE A MEXICAN ELF? - NO.

462. - CAN I BUY A CHILD BRIDE? - NO.

463. A PROMOTION?

464. - GOVERNMENT SHOULDN'T OPERATE BASED ON PERSONAL FAVORS.

465. BASED ON GOOD IDEAS.

466. APRIL HAD THE BEST IDEA, AND TODAY THE BEST IDEA WON.

467. - LESLIE, I REALLY HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

468. - OH, YEAH, RIGHT, SORRY.

469. - YOU DON'T HAVE TO COME IN WITH ME.

470. - I WASN'T GOING TO.

471. A LITTLE BIT?

472. - OH, YES, MISS DAISY.

473. - NIGHT, RON. - NIGHT, RON.

474. LADIES, LADIES.