1. I found this typewriter next
to the courtyard dumpster.Copy !req
2. An old Underwood 5 with
original carriage return.Copy !req
3. Took her home, polished her up
and bought a brand new ribbonCopy !req
4. off of
electronicbay.com.Copy !req
5. Okay, somebody has
got to do something.Copy !req
6. I'm getting
a cluster headache.Copy !req
7. He's leaving.Copy !req
8. Let's go.Copy !req
9. I've got
to throw it away.Copy !req
10. No,
I'm not. It weighs a billion tons.Copy !req
11. What is he
typing, anyway?Copy !req
12. "If you sons of bitches try to
remove this typewriter, I'll kill you."Copy !req
13. I'm going to type
every word I know!Copy !req
14. Rectangle.
America.Copy !req
15. Megaphone.
Monday.Copy !req
16. Butthole.Copy !req
17. Well,
I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings,Copy !req
18. but these interviews are more
important than we thought.Copy !req
19. Harvest Fest is
two weeks away,Copy !req
20. and awareness
is still pretty low.Copy !req
21. Boy, 35%? It's actually 34.2%.Copy !req
22. "34.2%." I'm Ben,
the numbers robot.Copy !req
23. It's just an exact calculation.Copy !req
24. "It's just an exact
calculation." All right.Copy !req
25. So, we're doing a huge media
blitz to publicize the Harvest Festival,Copy !req
26. and we've got TV,
newspaper, radio...Copy !req
27. And I even called Oprah.Copy !req
28. Well, I tried to call Oprah.
I couldn't get her number.Copy !req
29. I'm putting it out there,
like The Secret.Copy !req
30. And hopefully,
she'll call me.Copy !req
31. Our first interview is at 93.7 F.M.
with Crazy Ira and The Douche.Copy !req
32. Crazy Ira and.. .
The Douche.Copy !req
33. They are Pawnee's most
hilarious drive time radio guys.Copy !req
34. So much better than Tubby
Tony and the Papaya. Am I right?Copy !req
35. They're
seriously so funny.Copy !req
36. Is this right?Copy !req
37. This feels
almost perfect,Copy !req
38. but I don't think your core
has maximized elasticity.Copy !req
39. Okay. I'll come back,
if you guys are being weird.Copy !req
40. No, no, no,
no, no.Copy !req
41. You're exactly the person that I most
want to talk to, right at this moment.Copy !req
42. And lunge.Copy !req
43. Have you given my offer
any more thought?Copy !req
44. What exactly would
happen if I said yes?Copy !req
45. Well, you would work
at the state house.Copy !req
46. You would coordinate my
professional and personal schedule,Copy !req
47. and we would give you a small
relocation fee for your move to Indianapolis.Copy !req
48. That sounds boring.Copy !req
49. But I have nothing
keeping me here.Copy !req
50. Do you have Internet
in your office? Yes.Copy !req
51. Fine, I'll do it.Copy !req
52. That is literally the best
news that I've heard all day.Copy !req
53. Unlike April,
I still do not knowCopy !req
54. what my future
holds with Chris.Copy !req
55. And it's starting
to bum me out.Copy !req
56. I need some more
vitamin D. Yeah.Copy !req
57. Hey. Crazy. What was
that meeting about?Copy !req
58. It turns out Chris
is my real dad.Copy !req
59. I think you're lying.Copy !req
60. I think I know what
that meeting was about.Copy !req
61. You can't go
to Indianapolis.Copy !req
62. There's got to be
something that I can doCopy !req
63. to convince you how
much I care about you.Copy !req
64. Tell me your least favorite
things you have to do every day,Copy !req
65. and I'll do them
for a month. Fine.Copy !req
66. If you do everything
I hate for a month,Copy !req
67. then I might begin to
think about the possibilityCopy !req
68. of thinking about
maybe staying.Copy !req
69. That's all I
have to hear.Copy !req
70. You won't live
to regret this.Copy !req
71. Unless Andy
can un-kiss Ann,Copy !req
72. then I'm not going
to change my mind.Copy !req
73. But if he wants to take my dumb
sister to her dumb dance class,Copy !req
74. then I'm not going
to dumb stop him.Copy !req
75. Crazy Ira
and The Douche, 93. 7.Copy !req
76. You know why I'd
never be an astronaut?Copy !req
77. Two words.
Space farts.Copy !req
78. You can't roll down the window
of the shuttle. Am I right, folks?Copy !req
79. Houston, we have a.. .Copy !req
80. What do you think about that,
Neil Armstrong?Copy !req
81. That's one small for man,Copy !req
82. one giant for mankind.Copy !req
83. All right. Switching
gears here now.Copy !req
84. We've got Leslie Knope and
Tom "Haverfart" and Ben Wyatt.Copy !req
85. And they're in the hizzy to
talk about an upcoming eventCopy !req
86. called
the Harvest Festival.Copy !req
87. Well, The Douche,
it's a Pawnee tradition,Copy !req
88. and it's where fun
meets awesome.Copy !req
89. Meets agriculture.Copy !req
90. And it is going to be next month,
right here in Pawnee.Copy !req
91. And spoiler alert,
it's going to have the best corn maze ever.Copy !req
92. You lost your virginity in a corn maze,
didn't you, Douche?Copy !req
93. That's right.
To your mom.Copy !req
94. Crazy Ira!
Clean your room!Copy !req
95. There's also going to be hay rides. "Hey,
ride me,"Copy !req
96. is what Crazy Ira's
mom said.Copy !req
97. Stop it!Copy !req
98. China Joe,
you are a poet.Copy !req
99. My bird is missing. I
need a permit to post signs.Copy !req
100. Let me just look
for that form.Copy !req
101. There's no time!
He can fly!Copy !req
102. Nine things
April hates to do.Copy !req
103. Number one,
run the permits desk for an hour.Copy !req
104. That's no problem.Copy !req
105. I eat "running the permits
desk for an hour" for breakfast.Copy !req
106. Ow. That's... Ow.Copy !req
107. Henry. Stop it.
Great. Ow.Copy !req
108. Okay, Henry.
Cute kid.Copy !req
109. Andy.Copy !req
110. Got a sec?
Yeah.Copy !req
111. Henry.Copy !req
112. Why are you working
the permits desk,Copy !req
113. and why was that child
clubbing your nuggets?Copy !req
114. I'm trying to stop April
from taking a job with Chris,Copy !req
115. so I'm doing everything she
hates doing for the next month.Copy !req
116. That's going
to work?Copy !req
117. She said it might.Copy !req
118. But it's all
I've got, man.Copy !req
119. Give me the list.
I'll help you.Copy !req
120. Oh, my God.
Thank you.Copy !req
121. You got it.Copy !req
122. No,
I don't care about their relationship.Copy !req
123. I just don't want
to lose April.Copy !req
124. I would never be able
to find a worse assistant.Copy !req
125. Okay.
Thanks, Leslie.Copy !req
126. But you know,
what we really want to do todayCopy !req
127. is have a chat
with Ben Wyatt, here.Copy !req
128. Come on, Ben.
Come on, Ben.Copy !req
129. I'm more of a
behind-the-scenes kind of guy.Copy !req
130. Well, it's either come with
us or get in the spank chair.Copy !req
131. So, maybe it's time for an interview. Come on,
everybody, give him a hand.Copy !req
132. Come on! Come on over,
Ben. Yeah.Copy !req
133. So, this guy,
Ben Wyatt.. . We're looking him up on AltaVista.Copy !req
134. He's from some hick town,
Partridge, Minnesota.Copy !req
135. And when he's 18,
he's elected mayor.Copy !req
136. That's funny.
That's funny.Copy !req
137. Yeah, he's 18,
becomes the mayor,Copy !req
138. and then blows the whole
budget on an ice skating rink.Copy !req
139. City goes bankrupt. Joke!Copy !req
140. Get out of there!Copy !req
141. What did you call it again,
bro? What was it called?Copy !req
142. Say it.Copy !req
143. Ice Town.Copy !req
144. I was a kid. And when
you.. .Copy !req
145. You end up getting
out there and there's a...Copy !req
146. I really wish you guys
could see this guy right now.Copy !req
147. He is drenched
in sweat.Copy !req
148. There's also going to be
ponies at the Harvest Festival.Copy !req
149. All right. Let's take a
caller from Douche Nation.Copy !req
150. All right. Talk to me, caller.Copy !req
151. What's up,
guys? Just douching over here in Eagleton.Copy !req
152. Sweet.Copy !req
153. Seems like 18 is pretty
young for a mayor.Copy !req
154. What were you, like, 12?Copy !req
155. The funny... When...Copy !req
156. I guess...Copy !req
157. The fortunate...Copy !req
158. Can we just, sort of...Copy !req
159. Game over, man.
Game over.Copy !req
160. Nice job, man. Was that your
first time talking to other people?Copy !req
161. Because it came
off that way.Copy !req
162. You embarrassed me
in front of The Douche.Copy !req
163. I'm sorry,
you guys. I just...Copy !req
164. I haven't had to deal with
that mayor stuff for 17 years.Copy !req
165. I guess I'm not
totally over it.Copy !req
166. No worries. Look,
it was just a bump in the road.Copy !req
167. Okay. Fortunately,
the Leslie-mobileCopy !req
168. is an all-terrain
vehicle.Copy !req
169. So,
everything involving Ben is fine.Copy !req
170. I just need to talk to you in
private about something differentCopy !req
171. that is not
Ben-related.Copy !req
172. Ben, good job.Copy !req
173. Your boy's
a nightmare.Copy !req
174. I know,
but we need him.Copy !req
175. If they ask us about the budget,
he's our numbers guy.Copy !req
176. Well, we should just slap a
pair of Ray-Bans on a calculator,Copy !req
177. because that would
be way more charming.Copy !req
178. I'll do the newspaper interview.
You and Ben do Channel Four.Copy !req
179. Perd Hapley is a big
softie. It'll be a puff piece.Copy !req
180. He can do it.Copy !req
181. So,
how are you liking Pawnee?Copy !req
182. There are
a lot of cars.Copy !req
183. I mean,
not too many.Copy !req
184. Trucks and stuff.
But, you know...Copy !req
185. Cool. Good talk, Ice Town. Okay.Copy !req
186. Wow. Who knew that watercress,
garbanzo beans and walnutsCopy !req
187. could complement
each other so well?Copy !req
188. Good dressing,
too, right?Copy !req
189. Flaxseed and agave. Same
basic ingredients as bird feed.Copy !req
190. I'm just going to come
right out and say it.Copy !req
191. I want to define
your bagua.Copy !req
192. Okay. What's that?Copy !req
193. It's a feng
shui term.Copy !req
194. The energy in this
house is a little stale.Copy !req
195. But I think I can redefine
your flow in a very positive way.Copy !req
196. Great. I'm not really attached
to the way this stuff is arranged.Copy !req
197. Or the stuff itself.Copy !req
198. Or this house,
even, really.Copy !req
199. Great, let's do it.Copy !req
200. Am I
not being obvious enough?Copy !req
201. I feel like
I'm being obvious.Copy !req
202. This just in. Harvest Festival
more like "Harvest Bestival."Copy !req
203. The Parks Department
has planted the seeds,Copy !req
204. and now, they're
harvesting the rewards.Copy !req
205. Great. You done?Copy !req
206. They'll put the fun in funnel cake. Okay. Now,
I'm done.Copy !req
207. Tell me about Ben Wyatt. Sure.Copy !req
208. He works for
the state government,Copy !req
209. and he's been coming to
advise us about our budget.Copy !req
210. Come on,
Leslie. The Douche blew this story wide open.Copy !req
211. Ben Wyatt bankrupts a town
and then comes to PawneeCopy !req
212. to tell us how
to spend our money?Copy !req
213. There's no story
here, Shauna.Copy !req
214. He's just a dedicated civil servant
who is doing whatever he canCopy !req
215. to make sure that this is the
best Harvest Festival ever.Copy !req
216. And he's easy on the eyes,
too.Copy !req
217. What exactly is the nature
of your relationship with him?Copy !req
218. Strictly professional.
Just friends.Copy !req
219. So, are you colleagues
or are you friends?Copy !req
220. We are colleagues
with benefits.Copy !req
221. We're colleagues who benefit
from the fact that we're also friends.Copy !req
222. I'm sorry, Shauna.
I think I need to go.Copy !req
223. But, thank you
so much,Copy !req
224. and as always,
everything I said is off the record.Copy !req
225. Okay? Bye.Copy !req
226. What's the next task?Copy !req
227. We have to write
her grandmotherCopy !req
228. a thank you note
for a birthday check.Copy !req
229. It has to be really good, too,
because it's five months late.Copy !req
230. Never written a thank you
note before. This will be fun.Copy !req
231. What does
she call her?Copy !req
232. Gamma. No.
Nanna.Copy !req
233. Or Nana. Gizmo.
Something like that.Copy !req
234. This is for your Gizmo. I
think you'll find it's pretty good.Copy !req
235. "Dear April's grandmother..
." I said grandfather.Copy !req
236. Oops.
Okay.Copy !req
237. "You are a beautiful
and amazing woman." Man.Copy !req
238. "I hope someday,
I can become half the woman you are."Copy !req
239. He's a man.Copy !req
240. "Thank you for the
$500." It was $5.Copy !req
241. "Enjoy the Mouse
Rat CD." He is deaf.Copy !req
242. Okay. Do you want me to make those changes,
or is it good?Copy !req
243. Before we do
this next interview,Copy !req
244. there's a little secret
I want to let you in on.Copy !req
245. It's called
the "Haverford Schmooze."Copy !req
246. Look,
I was just caught off guard. I'm fine.Copy !req
247. Three easy steps.Copy !req
248. Smile,
friendly physical contact and flattery.Copy !req
249. "Hey, Perd. Was your dad RoboCop?
Because your arms are guns."Copy !req
250. RoboCop didn't have
guns for arms.Copy !req
251. Oh, my God. That's so not the point,
you nerd.Copy !req
252. Just saying.Copy !req
253. Why are we
at a mall?Copy !req
254. We're getting you
a new suit.Copy !req
255. I've let this go on
long enough.Copy !req
256. I like this suit.
You shouldn't,Copy !req
257. because it looks
like garbage.Copy !req
258. Your suit looks
more like garbage.Copy !req
259. Really?
Yeah.Copy !req
260. Because Brooks Brothers
Boys doesn't make garbage.Copy !req
261. Okay. This next thing is a
photography class assignment.Copy !req
262. Can you figure
that out?Copy !req
263. "Encapsulate the
spirit of melancholy."Copy !req
264. Melancholy.
Easy.Copy !req
265. Boom. A sad desk.Copy !req
266. Boom. Sad wall.Copy !req
267. It's art. Anything is
anything. Right on.Copy !req
268. I'm going to go drop this
off and pick up the mail.Copy !req
269. Sad floor.Copy !req
270. It does look sad,
kind of.Copy !req
271. Sorry for stepping
on you, floor.Copy !req
272. Hey. You got Andy doing
all your work for you?Copy !req
273. Yes, but he said
he wanted to do it.Copy !req
274. I'm only doing it because
I'm getting him back...Copy !req
275. Yeah,
I don't care. I got something to add to your list.Copy !req
276. Yup. There we go.Copy !req
277. That's the stuff.Copy !req
278. April really does
this every day?Copy !req
279. Yes. Work the heel.Copy !req
280. Andy, can
I be next?Copy !req
281. Yeah.Copy !req
282. I have got a corn so big
you could slap butter on it.Copy !req
283. Welcome to
Ya' Heard? With Perd.Copy !req
284. I'm Perd Hapley.Copy !req
285. The story of our
guests today is thatCopy !req
286. they are from the Department
of Parks and Recreation.Copy !req
287. Ben Wyatt
and Tom Haverford.Copy !req
288. What up, Perd?
Big fan.Copy !req
289. Me, too, Perd.
What up?Copy !req
290. The thing about
this first question is,Copy !req
291. I'd like to ask you
about the Harvest Festival.Copy !req
292. Perd, it's going to be amazing. Carnival rides,
games...Copy !req
293. Sweetums is even building
a plus-sized roller coasterCopy !req
294. for some of Pawnee's
obese thrill-seekers.Copy !req
295. You must be
this wide to ride.Copy !req
296. Wow. That's going to be
a pretty big roller coaster.Copy !req
297. Yup.Copy !req
298. Hey, guys.
How did it go?Copy !req
299. Well, there were
some sticky moments.Copy !req
300. Let's go to
the videotape.Copy !req
301. Look. Who hasn't
had gay thoughts?Copy !req
302. Who?
Are you okay?Copy !req
303. Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm fine.Copy !req
304. I mean, you know, sometimes,
I feel like I might need glasses.Copy !req
305. Is there a bird
in here?Copy !req
306. I swear, I keep seeing
a bird in this studio.Copy !req
307. Maybe that's all there is
to it. How did this happen?Copy !req
308. He was fine until Perd started
asking him about the "boy mayor" stuff.Copy !req
309. What's wrong with you?
You look psychotic.Copy !req
310. I was 18 when I was elected mayor. Okay? So,
excuse me for that.Copy !req
311. Cindy Eckert had just turned
me down for senior prom.Copy !req
312. Do you know how that...
I should call her. I should.Copy !req
313. No, I shouldn't.
And I'm not going to.Copy !req
314. And I'm proud
of myself for that.Copy !req
315. And then, he talked about feeling
up Cindy Eckert for the first timeCopy !req
316. for about
five minutes.Copy !req
317. And then,
the show ended.Copy !req
318. As did our careers and,
probably, Harvest Fest.Copy !req
319. Boom. Sadness.
That's the one.Copy !req
320. Natalie! Hey.
It's me, Andy.Copy !req
321. You're an hour
and a half late.Copy !req
322. I know. I know. I had
to massage a ton of feet.Copy !req
323. Super sorry.Copy !req
324. Come on. Get in. I need to
do everything on April's listCopy !req
325. or she's not going
to go out with me.Copy !req
326. You're into April?Copy !req
327. Come on.
We'll talk about it in the car.Copy !req
328. Hold on.
I'll get my books.Copy !req
329. Okay.Copy !req
330. Okay, great. Call me.Copy !req
331. That should be some damage control.
I'm having dinner with Perd Hapley.Copy !req
332. Tom, what do
we have?Copy !req
333. I've gotten calls from
a dozen businessesCopy !req
334. thinking about pulling
their sponsorships.Copy !req
335. Sweetums might cancel the Fat-Coaster. Oh,
my God.Copy !req
336. Okay, look,
we need to focus.Copy !req
337. We still have the
Pawnee Today interview.Copy !req
338. Well, is it too late
to cancel?Copy !req
339. Yeah. Yeah. It's
too late to cancel.Copy !req
340. Joan Callamezzo
runs this town.Copy !req
341. But Ben, don't worry about it.
You're not going in front of the camera.Copy !req
342. Fine with me.Copy !req
343. Are you trying to lure this
young lady into your van?Copy !req
344. Yeah.Copy !req
345. But she's being really difficult about it,
and it's actually not my van.Copy !req
346. I stole it from
a friend of mine.Copy !req
347. I technically shouldn't
be even driving, becauseCopy !req
348. my license is
crazy expired.Copy !req
349. That's Dwyer. D-W-Y-E-R.Copy !req
350. Dude! Come on. I've
got to get out of here!Copy !req
351. Natalie,
tell this guy you know me.Copy !req
352. Joan? I thought you were Jennifer
Aniston filming a movie here.Copy !req
353. Joan, let's make
a pact, okay?Copy !req
354. If we're both still single in an hour,
let's get married.Copy !req
355. Tom,
I'm already married. That's right. To Seal.Copy !req
356. What? I confused you
with Heidi Klum again.Copy !req
357. See you later, Joan.
That's just...Copy !req
358. That's how it's done.In five,
four...Copy !req
359. Hello,
and welcome to Pawnee Today. I'm Joan Callamezzo.Copy !req
360. Today's guest is Leslie Knope,
who is here to tell usCopy !req
361. how this year's Harvest Festival
is going to bankrupt the city.Copy !req
362. Well, Joan, actually,
there's a lot of false information flying around.Copy !req
363. The Harvest Festival
is.. . Jumping right in.Copy !req
364. That's rude.Copy !req
365. I just want
everyone to knowCopy !req
366. what an extraordinary
event this is going to be.Copy !req
367. But at what cost?Copy !req
368. How many cities does
Ben Wyatt need to destroyCopy !req
369. before he's put
behind bars?Copy !req
370. Ben Wyatt has done
nothing wrong.Copy !req
371. You know? If you want to ask him questions,
let's go for it, huh?Copy !req
372. Just ask any
question about his past or present.Copy !req
373. Just get it over with.
Ben, let's get up here.Copy !req
374. What?
Yeah. Come on.Copy !req
375. We'll just ask him
a bunch of questions,Copy !req
376. and then,
we'll get everything cleared and out of the way.Copy !req
377. Sound good? Yeah?
Great.Copy !req
378. Good. Let's take
some calls, Joan.Copy !req
379. Why don't you? Okay. Caller,
are you there?Copy !req
380. Yeah, how can you
justify raising taxesCopy !req
381. for something that
will hurt the town?Copy !req
382. I...Copy !req
383. For...Copy !req
384. Just to add to what
Ben's stammering about,Copy !req
385. we aren't going
to raise taxes.Copy !req
386. So,
that's that. Next caller?Copy !req
387. Do you fish,
April?Copy !req
388. No. Fish are gross.Copy !req
389. Let me give you a
piece of fishing advice.Copy !req
390. I said I don't.. . When
you have a fish on the line,Copy !req
391. you don't just drag it
behind the boat.Copy !req
392. You either reel it in
or you cut him loose.Copy !req
393. Especially if he's a nice fish with a big,
lovable fish heart.Copy !req
394. You don't know what
you're talking about.Copy !req
395. Maybe not. Maybe
you really do hate Andy.Copy !req
396. Maybe moving to Indianapolis
just to get revenge on himCopy !req
397. is a really good idea.Copy !req
398. What do I know?Copy !req
399. You are going
to love this.Copy !req
400. Verosian tea really supercharges
the bacteria in your colon.Copy !req
401. Plus, it smells
interesting. Waft it.Copy !req
402. Are we actually ever going to drink it,
or we're just going to sniff it?Copy !req
403. I love sniffing.
Don't get me wrong.Copy !req
404. You are hilarious.Copy !req
405. So, you're
leaving soon.Copy !req
406. Back to Indianapolis
briefly,Copy !req
407. and then,
on to a town called Snerling, Indiana,Copy !req
408. for several months.Copy !req
409. Never heard of it.Copy !req
410. It's quite small. The cows
outnumber the people forty to one.Copy !req
411. It sounds amazing.Copy !req
412. I like you a lot. I love
spending time with you.Copy !req
413. And I thoroughly enjoy you,
Ann Perkins.Copy !req
414. I just think we need to talk
about what that means for us.Copy !req
415. I don't want to be clingy. No,
no, no. Please.Copy !req
416. It is something that
we need to figure out,Copy !req
417. and we should
do that right now.Copy !req
418. I'm so happy
you said that.Copy !req
419. Wow, that's disgusting.Copy !req
420. Yes, it's very
hard to drink.Copy !req
421. Yeah,
why should we trust this Ben Wyatt guy?Copy !req
422. Because I'm trusty.
Trust me.Copy !req
423. I'm trustworthy. And I
am working very hard to...Copy !req
424. make sure that
this town gets back on its feet.Copy !req
425. Here we go. Okay,
great. Next caller?Copy !req
426. So,
I looked you up on AltaVista, and I found outCopy !req
427. that the last seven towns
you've gone to ended up bankrupt.Copy !req
428. Okay. First of all,
why does everyone in this town use AltaVista?Copy !req
429. Is it 1997? And second,
I am a budget specialist.Copy !req
430. I went to those towns because they were bankrupt,
and now, they aren't.Copy !req
431. And yeah,
I screwed up when I was 18,Copy !req
432. but who doesn't do dumb
stuff when they're 18?Copy !req
433. Joan? I stole my (CLEARS
THROAT) gym teacher's husband.Copy !req
434. So, there you go.Copy !req
435. Well. What else
you got, callers?Copy !req
436. Going once,
going.. . Here we go.Copy !req
437. Yeah, hi. Can you tell me more
about the corn maze at the Harvest Festival?Copy !req
438. Are dogs allowed?Copy !req
439. Hello.
Hello.Copy !req
440. How did it
go today?Copy !req
441. It was super fun.Copy !req
442. It was?
Yeah.Copy !req
443. You have a list
for tomorrow?Copy !req
444. You want to do
this again tomorrow?Copy !req
445. Yes, I do. I mean,
it's the deal, right?Copy !req
446. I got to do it for a whole month,
and then,Copy !req
447. you're not going
to move to Indianapolis.Copy !req
448. I better be the only
person you kissed today.Copy !req
449. Yeah, I'm positive
that you are.Copy !req
450. If I thought you were serious,
I'd be offended, Perd.Copy !req
451. But I know that
we're buddies.Copy !req
452. And I know you
wouldn't do that to me.Copy !req
453. But, no, this is a birthmark,
Perd. Okay?Copy !req
454. This is the little scar I got when
I was nine and I fell off my bike.Copy !req
455. So, no,
I'm not perfect.Copy !req
456. I can't look away.
It's amazing.Copy !req
457. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. Now,
here's the best part.Copy !req
458. Okay,
that's all the time we have here on Ya' Heard?Copy !req
459. I'm Perd Hapley,
Channel Four.Copy !req
460. More like
"Turd Crapley."Copy !req
461. Yes. Yes.
Yeah?Copy !req
462. Bravo! Thank you very much.Copy !req