1. - GREG PIKITIS.
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2. - YOU'RE THE PARKS
LADY, RIGHT?
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3. - YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I'M THE PARKS LADY.
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4. LESLIE KNOPE.
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5. AND I'M HERE TO TELL YOU
THAT THIS YEAR, IT ENDS.
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6. UGH, THIS KID
MAKES ME CRAZY.
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7. WE GOT A HISTORY,
GREG AND I.
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8. HE ABSOLUTELY TERRORIZES
THE PARK SYSTEM.
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9. EVERY HALLOWEEN SOMEONE
DEFACES THE STATUE
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10. OF MAYOR PERCY
AND RAMSETT PARK.
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11. AND I KNOW
IT'S GREG PIKITIS,
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12. BUT I'VE NEVER
BEEN ABLE TO PROVE IT.
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13. HE'S LIKE AN INVISIBLE,
ADOLESCENT JAMES BOND
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14. SUPER-VILLAIN
CRIMINAL MASTERMIND.
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15. OR MAYBE SOMEONE ELSE
IS DOING IT.
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16. BUT I REALLY FEEL LIKE
IT'S THIS KID.
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17. GOT THE ENTIRE
PARKS DEPARTMENT WATCHING YOU,
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18. MY BOYFRIEND'S A COP.
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19. SO DON'T EVEN TRY IT.
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20. - I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
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21. - OH, I THINK YOU DO.
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22. IT ENDS TODAY, PIKITIS.
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23. IT ENDS...
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24. TO...
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25. DAY.
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26. - THANKS FOR STOPPING BY,
LESLIE. YOU LOOK GREAT.
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27. - THANK YOU.
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28. ENDS TODAY.
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29. - HEY, PARKS DEPARTMENT.
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30. - YAY, ANN'S HERE.
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31. - UH, JUST
TO REMIND YOU—
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32. TONIGHT, 7:00, MY HOUSE,
IN COSTUME. EVERYBODY IN?
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33. - MM.
- YUP.
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34. - COOL. OKAY.
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35. HALLOWEEN IS
MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY.
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36. IT'S JUST THE BEST.
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37. AND I DON'T HAVE TO WORK.
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38. HEY, SLUTTY TEENAGE GIRLS
DRESSED AS SEXY KITTENS,
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39. PUMP YOUR OWN STOMACHS
THIS YEAR.
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40. OH, ONE MORE THING.
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41. THE PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM NOW
ARE THE PEOPLE I INVITED.
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42. PLUS LESLIE AND DONNA,
SO DON'T TELL ANYBODY.
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43. - WHO'S NOT
INVITED, THEN?
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44. - HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON,
CUPCAKE?
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45. EXCITED ABOUT
THE PARTY TONIGHT.
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46. - OH. OH, YOU'RE COMING.
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO TELL YOU.
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47. - JERRY ALREADY TOLD ME.
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48. CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
HOW TINY YOUR COSTUME IS.
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49. WHAT TIME DOES IT START?
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50. - 7:00.
- PERFECT.
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51. - YEAH, IT'S PERFECT.
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52. - CHECK THIS OUT.
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53. THESE ARE ALL
THE POSSIBLE ROUTES
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54. FROM GREG PIKITIS' HOUSE
TO THE STATUE.
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55. - THAT LOOKS LIKE
SOMETHING YOU WOULD FIND
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56. ON THE WALL
OF A SERIAL KILLER.
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57. - IN A WAY THAT'S
A COMPLIMENT.
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58. SHOWS DEDICATION.
- MM.
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59. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL
ANYWAY?
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60. I MEAN, A KID
TPs SOME STATUE.
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61. - AND ALL THE TREES
AND ALL THE BENCHES.
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62. IT TAKES US, LIKE, TEN DAYS
TO CLEAN HIS MESS UP.
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63. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY,
GREG PIKITIS SUCKS,
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64. AND I WANT
TO DESTROY HIM.
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65. - OKAY.
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66. WELL, IF YOU DESTROY HIM EARLY,
PLEASE COME BY.
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67. - I WILL.
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68. HEY, HOW IS SOMEONE GONNA BE
ABLE TO GET THROUGH THAT DOOR?
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69. - OH.
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70. - OH! WHAT THE—
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71. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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72. - JERRY, RELAX. HERE.
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73. AH, WILLIAM PERCY.
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74. ONE OF PAWNEE'S GREATEST MAYORS,
AND A TRUE HERO.
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75. DURING THE PAWNEE BREAD FACTORY
FIRE OF 1922,
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76. HE RAN BACK
INTO A BURNING BUILDING
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77. AND SAVED THE BELOVED SECRET
RECIPE FOR PAWNEE PUMPERNICKEL.
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78. - DIDN'T, LIKE,
30 PEOPLE DIE IN THAT FIRE?
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79. - HE WASN'T SUPERMAN.
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80. - HE LOOKS LIKE
RON SWANSON.
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81. IS THAT WHO
THIS IS BASED ON?
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82. - NO, IT'S BASED ON
WILLIAM PERCY.
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83. WERE YOU LISTENING
TO WHAT I JUST SAID?
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84. - YES.
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85. - OKAY, ANDY. GOOD NEWS.
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86. YOU'RE OFFICIALLY
ON THE PARKS DEPARTMENT PAYROLL.
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87. $8 AN HOUR.
- WHOO-HOO!
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88. - COMMIT THIS TO MEMORY.
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89. YOU SEE HIM, YOU STOP HIM.
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90. KNOCK HIS HEAD OFF
IF YOU HAVE TO.
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91. - DON'T DO THAT.
- DON'T DO THAT.
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92. BUT I GIVE YOU PERMISSION
TO USE EXCESSIVE FORCE.
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93. - DON'T USE EXCESSIVE FORCE.
- DON'T GO OVERBOARD.
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94. JUST STOP HIM.
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95. BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
- NO.
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96. - NO.
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97. JUST STOP HIM.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
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98. - A WEEK AGO, I HAD NOTHING.
NOW I HAVE A PART-TIME JOB,
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99. I'M GONNA MAKE
32 BUCKS TONIGHT.
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100. I OWE LESLIE
EVERYTHING I HAVE.
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101. WHICH AFTER TONIGHT
WILL BE 39 BUCKS.
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102. - HELLO, ANN.
- HEY.
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103. - AM I EARLY?
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104. - NOPE, YOU ARE
RIGHT ON TIME.
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105. - I LIKE YOUR COSTUME.
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106. - OH, THANKS.
RAGGEDY ANN.
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107. IT WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE BOOKS
WHEN I WAS A KID.
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108. - HMM.
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109. - I'M A PIRATE.
- RIGHT.
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110. OH, HEY, DR. HARRIS.
HOW ARE YOU?
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111. - ANN.
- THANKS.
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112. UM, THIS IS RON SWANSON
FROM THE PARKS DEPARTMENT.
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113. I KNOW HIM FROM THAT THING
THAT I'M DOING.
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114. THIS IS DR. HARRIS.
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115. - YOU'RE A DOCTOR.
- YEAH.
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116. - I MEANT YOUR COSTUME.
- I GOT IT.
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117. - WORLDS COLLIDING.
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118. ALWAYS AWKWARD.
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119. - 8:22 P.M.
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120. SUSPECT STILL WITH FRIENDS
IN PARKING LOT.
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121. HE LOOKS OBNOXIOUS
AND IRRITATING
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122. EVEN FROM
A GREAT DISTANCE.
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123. - UH, CONFIRMED.
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124. NORMALLY I HATE
WORKING ON HALLOWEEN, BUT, UH,
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125. IT'S NICE HANGING OUT
WITH LESLIE.
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126. YOU KNOW, SHE'S FOCUSED,
SHE'S COMMITTED,
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127. AND, UH, SHE MADE OUT
WITH ME IN MY COP CAR.
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128. IT WAS PRETTY NEAT.
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129. I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT.
THAT'S CLEAR TO ME NOW.
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130. - HEY, GUYS.
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131. - HEY.
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132. REMEMBER
MY BOYFRIEND DEREK?
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133. AND HIS BOYFRIEND BEN?
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134. - YEAH, HI.
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135. IT'S TOTALLY OKAY
THAT YOU DIDN'T WEAR A COSTUME.
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136. - I DID.
I'M A STRAIGHT PERSON.
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137. - HEY. SORRY I'M LATE.
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138. - SEE?
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139. - SORRY IT'S A LITTLE BIT
LAME RIGHT NOW,
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140. BUT WE'LL GET IT GOING.
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141. - I PASSED UP A GAY
HALLOWEEN PARTY TO BE HERE.
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142. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FUN
GAY HALLOWEEN PARTIES ARE?
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143. LAST YEAR I SAW
THREE JONAS BROTHERS
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144. MAKE OUT WITH
THREE ROBERT PATTINSONS.
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145. IT WAS AMAZING.
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146. - SO YOU'RE THE MARK
THAT ANN IS DATING.
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147. - I SUPPOSE THAT I AM.
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148. - WE'RE VERY PROTECTIVE OF ANN.
WE LOOK OUT FOR HER.
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149. - SO YOU KIND OF
DROPPED THE BALL
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150. WITH ANDY, THEN,
DIDN'T YOU?
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151. - OH, ANDY.
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152. - I LOVED ANDY.
OH, SUCH A SWEETHEART.
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153. IS ANDY COMING TONIGHT?
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154. - YOU SHOULD
GET BACK WITH ANDY.
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155. - WHO NEEDS A DRINK?
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156. I DO.
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157. - SUSPECT LAUGHING
WITH FRIENDS
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158. AND PLAYING WITH
HIS STUPID SKATEBOARD
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159. IN A SNIDE,
TURD-ISH MANNER.
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160. - "TURD-ISH"?
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161. - YES. LIKE A TURD.
LIKE A LITTLE TURD.
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162. - HEY, LISTEN.
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163. YOUR SCARE TACTICS
CLEARLY WORKED,
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164. YOU GOT ANDY
GUARDING THE STATUE,
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165. WHY DON'T WE GO
TO ANN'S PARTY?
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166. HAVE A LITTLE FUN.
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167. OH, UH, WE WANTED
TO COVER THAT BLOCK ANYWAY.
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168. WANTED A POLICE PRESENCE
ON IT, SO THAT'S—
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169. THIS IS WITHIN THE BOU—
UH, CONFINES OF—
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170. - SURE, LET'S GO.
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171. - YEAH? OKAY.
- YEAH.
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172. WE'LL GO BY MY OFFICE
AND PICK UP MY COSTUME.
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173. - GOT IT.
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174. - CAN'T WE JUST
FIRE A WARNING SHOT
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175. OVER HIS HEAD
AS WE DRIVE BY?
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176. - NO, BABE,
DON'T TOUCH THAT.
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177. - UGH...
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178. LEAVING LOCATION.
LOOK AT STUPID SUSPECT.
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179. I HATE SUSPECT.
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180. WHERE ARE MY KEYS?
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181. - LOOKS LIKE IT'S OPEN.
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182. - REALLY?
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183. PIKITIS!
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184. - WE'VE BEEN TAILING
THAT KID FOR A COUPLE HOURS.
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185. I MEAN, IT MUST'VE
BEEN SOMEBODY ELSE.
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186. - IT WAS PIKITIS.
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187. BELIEVE ME NOW.
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188. - THAT DOESN'T
MEAN ANYTHING TO ME.
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189. - THIS IS A PEACH PIT.
- OKAY.
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190. - HE WAS EATING A PEACH
WHEN I WENT TO GO TALK TO HIM.
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191. THIS IS HIS
ACE OF SPADES.
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192. THIS IS HIS CALLING CARD,
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193. THIS IS WHAT HE LEAVES
ALL HIS VICTIMS.
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194. AND IT'S STILL WARM.
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195. OKAY, GO AND ARREST HIM
AND SEND THIS TO THE LAB.
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196. - WE DON'T HAVE A L-LAB.
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197. - HI, APRIL.
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198. OKAY, YOU'RE UNDERAGE.
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199. - YOU'RE NOT.
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200. - HEY.
YEAH, I'M GONNA LEAVE.
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201. - OH, OKAY.
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202. - THIS ISN'T THAT FUN.
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203. - DIDN'T NEED
TO TELL ME THAT.
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204. - I'M GONNA
TAKE THIS HOME.
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205. NOBODY WAS DRINKING IT,
SO I'M GONNA TAKE IT.
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206. - OKAY.
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207. - GONNA TAKE THIS TOO.
BEEN MEANING TO READ IT.
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208. - OKAY, THIS ISN'T
STRICTLY LEGAL.
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209. WE CONSULT HIM
FOR MAYBE AN HOUR,
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210. AND THEN I GOT
TO LET HIM GO.
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211. - YOU TALK TO HIM FIRST.
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212. YOU HAVE A SCARY FACE.
- HEY.
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213. - NO, IN A GOOD WAY.
SCARY CUTE.
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214. - YEAH?
- GO TALK TO HIM.
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215. - OKAY.
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216. - I DIDN'T DO THIS, MAN.
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217. I PROMISE.
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218. - SON, I'M A POLICE OFFICER,
OKAY, YOU SHOULDN'T LIE TO ME.
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219. - I'M NOT.
I'VE NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE.
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220. AND WHY WOULD I DO THIS?
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221. - BECAUSE YOU'VE HAD RUN-INS
WITH MISS KNOPE IN THE PAST.
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222. JUST A SECOND.
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223. YEAH?
- ASK HIM ABOUT THE PEACH PIT.
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224. - THIS ISN'T
ONE-WAY GLASS, YOU KNOW.
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225. I CAN SEE YOU.
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226. YOU KNOW, I LIKE KNOPE.
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227. I SCREW WITH HER
'CAUSE SHE GETS ALL RILED UP.
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228. AND HER FACE GETS
ALL SCRUNCHED UP LIKE THIS.
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229. BUT I LIKE HER.
SHE'S ALL RIGHT.
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230. YOU SEE?
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231. - WHAT?
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232. - I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY
DECORATING THIS PLACE,
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233. AND EVERYBODY'S
IN THE KITCHEN.
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234. WHY IS EVERYONE
ALWAYS IN THE KITCHEN?
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235. - I THINK
IT'S GOING FINE.
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236. - IT'S SO QUIET.
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237. OH, MY GOD,
OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD.
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238. THIS IS A TOTAL FAILURE.
THIS PARTY IS A FAILURE.
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239. OH, MY GOD.
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240. - NO, NO, IT'S NOT
A FAILURE, ANN, COME ON.
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241. - ANN, DO YOU HAVE
ANY MOUNDS?
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242. BECAUSE ALL I CAN FIND
ARE ALMOND JOYS.
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243. AND ALMONDS
GIVE ME THE SQUIRTS.
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244. - UGH.
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245. - HEY, I'M HERE.
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246. STATUE'S FINE.
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247. "CRAPPY HALLOWIENERS."
THAT'S HILARIOUS.
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248. WHERE'S THE KID?
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249. - IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM,
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250. TRYING TO HIDE
HIS OBVIOUS GUILT.
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251. - LESLIE, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO TELL YOU.
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252. I DON'T THINK HE DID IT.
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253. - YEAH, HE DID,
AND WE NEED A CONFESSION.
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254. OKAY, ANDY AND I
ARE GOING TO TAKE A WALK.
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255. AND IT'S GONNA BE JUST YOU,
PIKITIS, AND THESE PLIERS.
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256. - LOOK, I'M NOT GONNA
TORTURE THIS KID.
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257. - NOBODY SAID TORTURE.
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258. - WHY DON'T YOU LET ME
TAKE A RUN AT HIM, BOSS?
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259. IN ORDER TO THINK
LIKE ONE OF THESE GUYS,
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260. YOU HAVE TO
THINK LIKE THEM.
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261. - YEAH, HE'S NEVER
SEEN YOU BEFORE.
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262. SO IMPLY THAT YOU'RE
SOMEONE VERY IMPORTANT,
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263. AND THAT YOU CAN
MAKE HIS LIFE HELL.
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264. GREG PIKITIS.
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265. WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME BOILING HOT COFFEE?
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266. IN THE FACE?
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267. - MY NAME
IS BERT MACKLIN.
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268. I'M WITH THE FBI.
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269. - OOH. ARE THESE
THE SAME KIND OF CHIPS?
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270. - HEY!
WHAT'S UP, GORGEOUS?
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271. - PERFECT.
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272. - GET YOUR RAGGEDY ASS
OVER HERE, GIRL.
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273. - HEY, TOM. MAD HATTER?
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274. - T-PAIN, BABY.
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275. THIS IS NOT A STRIPPER,
IT'S MY WIFE WENDY.
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276. YOU REMEMBER HER.
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277. - HI. THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR INVITING US.
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278. - SURE.
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279. - SHE'S A SURGEON
AT COUNTY GENERAL.
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280. AND SHE'S SUPER HOT.
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281. - WELL, THANK YOU
FOR BEING A DOCTOR
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282. AND NOT COMING
DRESSED AS A DOCTOR.
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283. - OH, MY GOD, WHO'D BE
BORING ENOUGH TO DO THAT?
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284. - ANN,
WHAT HAPPENED HERE?
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285. DID YOU TELL EVERYONE
THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO
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286. GET A BONE MARROW
TRANSPLANT TOMORROW?
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287. THEY LOOK MISERABLE.
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288. THIS PARTY'S A DISASTER.
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289. - NO, IT'S NOT.
- YES, IT IS.
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290. - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
WE CAN FIX THIS.
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291. - TOTALLY.
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292. - GIVE US A SECOND.
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293. - YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST
HUMAN BEING I HAVE EVER—
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294. - SHUT UP!
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295. - LOOKS LIKE ANDY'S
WEARING HIM DOWN.
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296. I'M GONNA
GO FINISH HIM OFF.
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297. - THAT IS THE DUMBEST THING
I HAVE EVER HEARD.
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298. - WHY DON'T YOU JUST
SHUT UP FOR A SECOND?
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299. - WHAT'S GOING ON
IN HERE?
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300. - HE'S A JERK!
HE IS BEING SUCH A JERK!
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301. THAT'S AN AWFUL THING
TO SAY TO A HUMAN BEING!
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302. - ARE YOU CRYING?
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303. - NO, I'M—
I AM NOT CRYING, OKAY?
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304. I'M—I'M ALLERGIC TO JERKS!
- OKAY, ANDY, OUT.
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305. - FINE! I DON'T EVEN CARE!
IT'S STUPID!
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306. - OKAY.
THE GLOVES ARE COMING OFF.
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307. - WH—WHAT'S THAT?
- I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
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308. WHEN I CAME TO VISIT YOU
AT THE SCHOOL
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309. YOU WERE EATING A PEACH.
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310. THEN MY OFFICE
GETS VANDALIZED
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311. AND SOMEBODY LEAVES
A PEACH PIT ON MY DESK.
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312. I DON'T THINK
THAT'S A COINCIDENCE, GREG.
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313. - WOW. YOU NAILED ME.
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314. I MEAN, THERE IS NO WAY THAT TWO
DIFFERENT PEOPLE COULD'VE EATEN
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315. THE SAME FRUIT IN THE SAME DAY
IN THE SAME AREA OF INDIANA.
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316. NEVER MIND THAT I WAS
ACTUALLY EATING A PLUM
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317. WHEN YOU SAW ME EARLIER.
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318. - I KNOW YOU DID THIS.
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY.
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319. I DON'T CARE THAT YOU WERE
IN THE PARKING LOT ALL NIGHT,
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320. SOMEHOW YOU FOUND
A WAY TO GET IN HERE.
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321. - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
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322. HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT I WAS
IN THE PARKING LOT ALL NIGHT?
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323. - BECAUSE
I FOLLOWED YOU, GENIUS!
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324. - IF YOU FOLLOWED ME ALL NIGHT,
THEN YOU KNOW THAT IT WASN'T ME!
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325. KNOPE, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
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326. - LOOK, I'VE BEEN VERY CIVIL,
BUT I WILL WATERBOARD YOU.
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327. - NO, NOPE.
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328. I DON'T THINK
SHE WOULD MAKE A GOOD COP.
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329. I-I WOULD BE FRIGHTENED
TO LIVE IN A TOWN
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330. THAT SHE'S
THE COP OF, FRANKLY.
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331. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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332. - ANN, DO YOU WANT ME
TO LIVEN THINGS UP OR NOT?
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333. - OF COURSE I DO.
- ALL RIGHT, THEN RELAX.
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334. TURN OFF ALL THE LIGHTS
THAT DON'T HAVE COLORED BULBS.
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335. ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL.
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336. TAKE THE PIGS IN A BLANKET
AND PUT 'EM TO SLEEP,
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337. IT'S TIME TO GET WILD!
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338. GET THIS FURNITURE
OUT OF HERE, Y'ALL,
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339. WE'RE MAKING
A DANCE FLOOR.
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340. PUT THE TURKEY WRAPS DOWN.
WE'RE 'BOUT TO GET WILD.
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341. RON SWANSON
IN THE BUILDING, Y'ALL!
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342. - HIS MOM'S GONNA BE HERE SOON.
PLEASE, DAVE, JUST ARREST HIM.
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343. - ON WHAT CHARGE?
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344. - JUST HANDCUFF HIM
TO SOMETHING.
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345. - GREGGY? GREG!
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346. GREGSY.
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347. - MOM.
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348. - MRS. PIKITIS.
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349. HI, I'M LESLIE KNOPE.
THIS IS OFFICER SANDERSON.
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350. - AND BERT MACKLIN. FBI.
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351. - WHAT THE HELL DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE DOING?
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352. YOU CAN'T JUST HOLD
A 16-YEAR-OLD KID
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353. AGAINST HIS WILL.
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354. - WELL, WE WERE
TRYING TO QUESTION HIM
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355. ABOUT THIS VANDALISM.
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356. - DO YOU HAVE
ANY EVIDENCE?
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357. - YES. TWO WORDS.
- NO. NO, WE DON'T—
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358. - PEACH PIT.
- PEACH PIT.
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359. - HIS DNA IS ALL OVER IT,
I ASSUME.
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360. - WE DON'T KNOW THAT.
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361. - WE CAN GET IT TESTED,
AND IF IT MATCHES YOUR DNA,
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362. THEN YOU'RE GOING AWAY
FOR A LONG TIME.
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363. - IS THIS A JOKE?
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364. - NO.
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365. - I'M CALLING
YOUR SHIFT COMMANDER.
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366. MONDAY MORNING,
I AM CALLING YOUR BOSS.
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367. I DON'T KNOW
WHO TO CALL ABOUT YOU—
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368. - PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
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369. - FINE!
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370. AND IF ANY OF YOU EVER
COME NEAR MY SON AGAIN,
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371. I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SUE YOU
AND EVERYONE IN THIS BUILDING.
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372. COME ON, HONEY.
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373. - LET 'EM THINK THEY'VE LOST US.
THEN—
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374. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
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375. - I GOT TO GO TELL MY BOSS WHY
I ILLEGALLY DETAINED A TEENAGER.
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376. I SHOULDN'T HAVE
GOTTEN INVOLVED WITH THIS.
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377. IT'S JUST—
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378. JUST BAD POLICE WORK.
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379. - YEAH, IT WAS
BAD FBI WORK TOO.
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380. MY BAD.
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381. - TONIGHT THE "T" IN T-PAIN
STANDS FOR "TOM HAVERFORD"!
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382. NURSES VERSUS DOCTORS.
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383. ON MY MARK.
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384. THREE, TWO, ONE...
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385. VODKA!
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386. - SON.
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387. THAT IS ONE
HELL OF A COSTUME.
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388. - THANKS.
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389. - DAMN, THAT'S GOOD.
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390. NICE PARTY.
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391. - THANKS.
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392. - WHY WOULD
ANYONE DO THIS?
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393. - KIDS ARE KIDS.
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394. EVERYBODY DOES STUPID STUFF
LIKE THIS IN HIGH SCHOOL.
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395. - I DIDN'T.
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396. - YEAH, BUT YOU WERE
PROBABLY A NERD, THOUGH, HUH?
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397. - HEY.
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398. - LESLIE, I MEAN THAT
IN A GOOD WAY.
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399. LOOK AT YOU NOW.
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400. YOU'RE THE COOLEST PERSON
I'VE EVER MET.
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401. I EVEN MET
JOHN COUGAR MELLENCAMP ONCE.
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402. - ANDY, WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME?
I'LL FINISH CLEANING THIS UP.
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403. - NO WAY.
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404. YOU GOT ME A JOB. YOU'RE HELPING
ME TURN MY LIFE AROUND.
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405. I GO HOME
WHEN YOU GO HOME.
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406. - UH, IT'S—
IT'S CITY PLANNING.
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407. IT'S MOSTLY, LIKE,
REGULATING THINGS
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408. AND JUST MAKING SURE
PEOPLE OBEY THE CITY CODE.
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409. - YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE?
GO BACK TO MY PLACE?
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410. - WHAT? NO.
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411. I'M DATING ANN.
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412. - GOOD. THAT WAS A TEST.
YOU PASSED.
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413. LET'S CELEBRATE
YOU PASSING THE TEST,
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414. OVER A DRINK AT MY PLACE.
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415. - NO. STILL NO.
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416. - YOU PASSED
A SECOND TEST.
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417. BUT WE'RE STILL
WATCHING YOU.
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418. - SO YOU WANT TO GET OUT
OF HERE, GO BACK TO MY PLACE?
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419. - HEY, RON.
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420. - HELLO, WENDY.
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421. BOY, YOU AND TOM REALLY
TURNED THE PARTY AROUND.
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422. - OH. WE HAVE
A GOOD TIME TOGETHER.
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423. TOM TOLD ME THAT YOU KNOW
ABOUT OUR GREEN CARD MARRIAGE,
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424. AND I JUST—
I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU
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425. FOR NOT TELLING ANYONE.
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426. - NO WORRIES.
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427. I'D HATE FOR YOU
TO HAVE TO GO BACK TO CANADA.
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428. ALL THE—ALL THAT
SOCIALIZED MEDICINE UP THERE.
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429. - WENDYLICIOUS,
WHERE YOU BEEN?
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430. - I WAS JUST THANKING RON FOR,
YOU KNOW, NOT TELLING ANYONE.
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431. - OH, YEAH. THANK YOU.
THAT WAS COOL OF YOU.
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432. - YOU KNOW, YOU WON'T HAVE TO
KEEP IT A SECRET MUCH LONGER
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433. BECAUSE IN A FEW MONTHS
WE CAN SPLIT UP
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434. WITHOUT RAISING
ANY EYEBROWS.
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435. AND WE'LL INVITE YOU
TO THE DIVORCE PARTY.
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436. - OH, MAYBE GREG
IS INNOCENT.
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437. IF THAT'S THE CASE,
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438. THEN THERE'S ANOTHER KID
OUT THERE WHO'S TORMENTING ME.
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439. - MAYBE.
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440. - I BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE
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441. INNOCENT UNTIL
PROVEN GUILTY IN THIS COUNTRY.
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442. THAT'S THE CORNERSTONE
OF DEMOCRACY.
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443. - SURE.
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444. - ON THE OTHER HAND,
GREG PIKITIS IS A LITTLE PUNK.
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445. I KIND OF WANT TO
TP HIS HOUSE.
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446. - LET'S DO IT.
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447. WAIT, WAIT, THIS IS FUN,
THIS IS FUN, WHAT DO I DO?
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448. - YOU JUST GRAB
THE TOILET PAPER,
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449. UNROLL IT A LITTLE BIT
LIKE THIS,
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450. THROW IT OVER THE TREE.
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451. - THIS IS FOR
MAYOR PERCY,
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452. THIS IS FOR
THE PARKS DEPARTMENT OFFICE,
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453. THIS IS FOR POOPING
ON THE HANDBALL COURT!
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454. YEAH! THIS IS REALLY FUN,
BUT I DON'T CONDONE IT!
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455. - BYE, GUYS.
YOU'RE THE MAN, SWANSON.
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456. THANKS FOR COMING.
- ARRR...
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457. - ANN.
- DUDE.
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458. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
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459. - DON'T MENTION IT.
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460. - ALSO, TOM,
YOUR WIFE IS SUPER COOL.
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461. SO WELL DONE.
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462. - YEAH,
SHE'S PRETTY GREAT, RIGHT?
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463. - YEAH, I DON'T KNOW
HOW YOU LANDED THAT CHICK,
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464. BUT SHE'S AWESOME.
NICE WORK.
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465. YOU'RE LUCKY.
- HI. YOU READY TO GO?
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466. - YES.
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467. - THANK YOU SO MUCH.
WE HAD SO MUCH FUN.
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468. - BYE. THANK YOU.
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469. - 'BOUT TO HEAD HOME
AND HAVE CRAZY SEX.
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470. - THAT'S COOL. I DON'T—
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471. - YAY!
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472. FIVE-0! FIVE-0!
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473. - I SEE YOU
IN THERE, ANDY.
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474. LESLIE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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475. - OH, BOY.
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476. - THAT'S THEM, OFFICER.
RIGHT THERE.
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477. - OH, MY GOD. OH, NO.
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478. I'M SO SORRY.
I THINK WE HAVE THE WRONG HOUSE.
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479. - WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
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480. - IT'S REALLY HARD
TO EXPLAIN,
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481. BUT WE WERE TRYING
TO GET REVENGE
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482. ON THIS KID GREG PIKITIS,
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483. AND WE THOUGHT
THIS WAS HIS HOUSE,
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484. BUT I GUESS WE GOT
THE ADDRESS WRONG.
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485. - I'M GREG'S MOM.
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486. - YOU ARE?
- YES.
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487. OH, DID HE HIRE A FAKE MOM AGAIN
TO GET HIM OUT OF TROUBLE?
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488. - WHAT?
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489. - WHENEVER HE GETS IN TROUBLE
HE GOES ON CRAIGSLIST
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490. AND HIRES A WOMAN TO PLAY
HIS MOTHER AND BAIL HIM OUT.
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491. OH, THAT LITTLE S-O-B.
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492. GREG! GREGORY!
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493. - I KNEW IT!
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494. - OH, MY GOD.
- DUDE.
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495. THAT KID IS AMAZING.
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496. - HE'S NOT IN HIS ROOM.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS.
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497. - I DO.
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498. - MAKE SURE YOU GET THAT.
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499. - HEY!
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500. - LET THEM GO!
STAY ON THE LEADER!
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501. - OOH...
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502. I AM GONNA
WRING YOUR NECK!
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503. - HOW DID YOU GET
INTO THE PARKS DEPARTMENT?
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504. I HAVE TO KNOW.
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505. - MAYBE THE FBI
CAN FIGURE IT OUT.
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506. I'M NOT EVEN IN THE FBI, STUPID.
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507. - WOW. YOU'RE AMAZING.
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508. - HEY! YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL
FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
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509. - HE'S NOT GONNA GO TO JAIL,
YOU KNOW, HE'S A MINOR.
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510. - WE'LL LET
THE JURY DECIDE.
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511. - IT'S NOT GONNA BE A JURY,
IT'S HIS—
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512. - THEN THE JUDGE WILL
DECIDE WHERE HE GOES.
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513. - LOOK, HE'S GONNA DO PROBATION,
HE'S A MINOR—
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514. - DAVE,
JUST LET ME HAVE THIS.
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515. - WOW, NICE WORK, KNOPE.
- YEAH, THAT IS AMAZING.
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516. - THANKS.
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517. BUT THE THING THAT'S DRIVING ME
NUTS IS HOW DID HE DO IT?
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518. - IF YOU DESTROY HIM EARLY,
PLEASE COME BY.
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519. - I WILL.
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520. - HOW IS SOMEONE GONNA BE ABLE
TO GET THROUGH THAT DOOR?
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521. - OH! WHAT THE—
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522. - I MEAN, WE WERE HERE
ALL AFTERNOON.
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523. HOW DID HE GET IN?
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524. FIRST OF ALL, WE ALWAYS
LOCK THE DOORS WHEN WE LEAVE.
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525. AND DAVE AND I
TAILED PIKITIS
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526. FROM THE MOMENT
HE LEFT HIS HOUSE AT 7:00 P.M.
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527. TO THE MOMENT
WE CAME BACK HERE.
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528. DOES HE HAVE
A LOOK-ALIKE OR SOMETHING?
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529. DID HE HAVE AN ACCOMPLICE?
I MEAN, DID HE HAVE HELP?
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530. HOW DID THAT
LITTLE TURD DO IT?
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