1. - TODAY WE ARE WELCOMING
A DELEGATIONCopy !req
2. FROM THE PARKS DEPARTMENT
OF OUR SISTER CITY,Copy !req
3. BORAQUA, VENEZUELA.Copy !req
4. OUR PHOTO-OP WITH THE MAYOR
IS TOMORROW AT 3:00 P.M.,Copy !req
5. SO I'M GOING TO NEED
YOUR SUGGESTIONSCopy !req
6. ABOUT MY WARDROBE ASAP.Copy !req
7. - I TOLD YOU—
GOLD-SEQUINED SWEATPANTS.Copy !req
8. - ALSO, REMEMBER, EVERYONE,Copy !req
9. VENEZUELA IS A POOR COUNTRY.Copy !req
10. THESE MEN ARE NOT USEDCopy !req
11. TO THE WEALTH AND FLASH THAT WE
HAVE HERE IN CENTRAL INDIANA.Copy !req
12. OUR ONLY JOB
OVER THE NEXT TWO DAYSCopy !req
13. IS TO MAKE THESE MEN
FEEL AT HOME.Copy !req
14. YES, I AM A LITTLE NERVOUS.Copy !req
15. PAWNEE HAS KIND OF
A TRICKY HISTORYCopy !req
16. WITH WELCOMING
FOREIGN VISITORS.Copy !req
17. BUT THINGS HAVE CHANGED.Copy !req
18. OUR GUESTS ARE GOING TO STAY
IN A MOTEL FOR SURE.Copy !req
19. - OH, GOD, WHAT IF THEY
DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH?Copy !req
20. APRIL,
YOU KNOW SPANISH, RIGHT?Copy !req
21. - OH, GOOD.
EXCELLENT.Copy !req
22. - MY MOM'S PUERTO RICAN.Copy !req
23. THAT'S WHY I'M
SO LIVELY AND COLORFUL.Copy !req
24. - OH, MY GOD.
HERE THEY ARE.Copy !req
25. OKAY, EVERYBODY, CLEAN UP.Copy !req
26. PULL YOUR THING UP.
EVERYONE JUST BE GOOD.Copy !req
27. JERRY, HIT IT.Copy !req
28. THIS IS MY BABY.Copy !req
29. I PUT THIS WHOLE TRIP TOGETHER.Copy !req
30. AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING—
IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY.Copy !req
31. YOU KNOW, HOW DO YOU FIT ALL
OF PAWNEE IN A 48-HOUR VISIT?Copy !req
32. I HAD TO DROPCopy !req
33. THE ROCK-AND-ROLL BOWLING ALLEY
FROM OUR ITINERARY.Copy !req
34. THAT WAS ONE OF THE
MOST DIFFICULT PHONE CALLSCopy !req
35. I'VE EVER HAD TO MAKE.Copy !req
36. - HELLO, MOST EXCELLENT
REPRESENTATIVESCopy !req
37. OF THE GREAT PARKS DEPARTMENT
OF BORAQUA, VENEZUELA.Copy !req
38. I AM DEPUTY DIRECTOR
OF PARKS AND RECREATIONCopy !req
39. AND CHAIRWOMAN
OF THE DEPARTMENTAL AD HOCCopy !req
40. SUBCOMMITTEE FOR PIT
BEAUTIFICATION, LESLIE KNOPE.Copy !req
41. - IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.Copy !req
42. I AM VICE DIRECTOR
EJECUTIVO DEL DIPUTADOCopy !req
43. DEL DEPARTAMENTO DE PARQUES,Copy !req
44. RAUL ALEJANDRO BASTILLA PEDRO
DE VELOSO DE MALDONADO.Copy !req
45. - I'M TOM.Copy !req
46. - THESE ARE MY COLLEAGUES,Copy !req
47. ANTONIO RIVERA-FONSECA,
MINISTER OF SMALL FOUNTAINS,Copy !req
48. AND ELVIS CORREJA,
ADMINISTRATOR OF HEDGES.Copy !req
49. - AND HE IS?Copy !req
50. - PAY NO ATTENTION TO HIM.Copy !req
51. HE'S OUR INTERN, JHONNY.
HE IS WORTHLESS.Copy !req
52. WE ARE QUITE TIRED
FROM OUR TRIP.Copy !req
53. COULD YOU HAVE YOUR SERVANT
COLLECT OUR BAGS, PLEASE?Copy !req
54. - WHAT DID HE CALL ME?
- TOM, PLEASE.Copy !req
55. IT'S A DIFFERENT CULTURE, OKAY?Copy !req
56. JUST BE A GOOD HOST
AND DO THIS FOR ME.Copy !req
57. - FINE.Copy !req
58. - YES, WE WILL GET
OUR PATHETIC SERVANT BOYCopy !req
59. TO FETCH YOUR LUGGAGE.
GO, BOY.Copy !req
60. NOW, I KNOW YOU GENTLEMEN
HAD A LONG FLIGHT,Copy !req
61. BUT I HAVE PREPARED
A WELCOME PARTY IN YOUR HONOR.Copy !req
62. - EXCELLENT, I LIKE TO PARTY.Copy !req
63. - WELL, MY JOB IS TO SEE
TO YOUR EVERY NEED.Copy !req
64. - DO WE JUST, UM,
SELECT THE WOMAN WE DESIRE?Copy !req
65. I WILL TAKE
THE LARGE BLACK ONE.Copy !req
66. - INTERESTING CHOICE.
- WHAT?Copy !req
67. - DO YOU HAVE
SOME KIND OF A BOOKCopy !req
68. WITH PHOTOS OF THE WOMEN
AVAILABLE TO US?Copy !req
69. IF NOT, I WILL ALSO TAKE
THE SEXY BLACK ONE.Copy !req
70. - I AM NOT SURPRISED AT ALL.Copy !req
71. I'VE BEEN TO SOUTH AMERICA.
I DID VERY WELL THERE.Copy !req
72. - I THINK THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN
A TRANSLATION PROBLEM.Copy !req
73. WHEN I SAID PARTY,
I MEANT ONECopy !req
74. THAT DID NOT INCLUDE
SEX FOR PAY,Copy !req
75. BUT ONE THAT HAD
FOOD AND DRINK AND DANCING.Copy !req
76. THAT SORT OF THING.Copy !req
77. - SO NO WOMEN?Copy !req
78. - NO.Copy !req
79. OFF TO KIND OF A WEIRD START.Copy !req
80. OH, WE HAVE SO MUCH
TO LEARN FROM EACH OTHER.Copy !req
81. WHAT KIND OF BIRDS
DO YOU GUYS EAT?Copy !req
82. - CHICKENS.Copy !req
83. - US TOO.
AMAZING.Copy !req
84. - WHAT IS THIS?Copy !req
85. - WATER.Copy !req
86. I'M SORRY—
AGUA.Copy !req
87. IN OUR COUNTRY
GOVERNMENT OFFICIALSCopy !req
88. DRINK ONLY BOTTLED WATER.Copy !req
89. - WELL, I CAN ASSURE YOU
THAT THAT WATER'SCopy !req
90. VERY SAFE TO DRINK.Copy !req
91. NO. BOTTLED.Copy !req
92. PLEASE.
SEND THE BOY.Copy !req
93. - TOM, GO GET WATER.Copy !req
94. - LESLIE, COME ON.Copy !req
95. - FOR YOUR TROUBLES.Copy !req
96. - YOU GOT IT, CHIEF.Copy !req
97. - HEY, APRIL,
CAN YOU HELP ME OUT A SECOND?Copy !req
98. - GO AWAY, JERRY.Copy !req
99. - OKAY.Copy !req
100. - THIS IS A GOLD-PLATED REPLICA
OF A GUN HUGO CHAVEZ USEDCopy !req
101. IN THE 1992
SOCIALIST REVOLUTION.Copy !req
102. IT IS A GIFT.Copy !req
103. - THIS GUN TRULY SYMBOLIZES
THE BLOSSOMING PEACECopy !req
104. BETWEEN OUR TWO NATIONS.Copy !req
105. A KEY ASPECT TO DIPLOMACY
IS GIFT-GIVING.Copy !req
106. THE GIFT HAS TO BE NICE ENOUGH
TO HONOR AND RESPECT THE GUEST,Copy !req
107. BUT NOT SO NICE
THAT IT SHAMES HIM.Copy !req
108. PLUS, IT NEEDS TO REPRESENT
THE LOCAL CULTURE.Copy !req
109. AND I FOUND THE PERFECT THING.Copy !req
110. A BOTTLE OF HIGH-FRUCTOSE
CORN SYRUP MADE RIGHT HERECopy !req
111. IN PAWNEE'S OWN
SWEETUMS FACTORY.Copy !req
112. "IF YOU CAN'T
BEAT 'EM, SWEETUMS."Copy !req
113. SINCE 1891.Copy !req
114. AND EIGHT AND A HALF DOZEN
RUBBER BABY-BOTTLE NIPPLES.Copy !req
115. ALSO MADE HERE IN PAWNEE.Copy !req
116. KERNSTON'S RUBBER NIPPLES.Copy !req
117. "TASTES LIKE THE REAL THING."Copy !req
118. - YES, AND WE TOO
ARE PLEASED TO BE HERECopy !req
119. IN YOUR DIRTY ALLEYWAY.Copy !req
120. WE THANK YOU
FOR THE CONTAINER OF SAPCopy !req
121. AND THE BAG OF GARBAGE.Copy !req
122. - HIS ENGLISH ISN'T PERFECT,
SO I DON'T THINK HE REALIZESCopy !req
123. HOW INSULTING HE'S BEING.Copy !req
124. - WE ARE ALSO SISTER CITIES
WITH KAESONG, NORTH KOREA.Copy !req
125. THEIR TOWN IS FAR NICER.Copy !req
126. - THAT'S FINE. IT'S MY JOB.
I'M A DIPLOMAT.Copy !req
127. I'M NOT SUPPOSED
TO TAKE IT PERSONALLY.Copy !req
128. - WE HAVEN'T BEEN HERE
FOR A VERY LONG TIME,Copy !req
129. BUT WHAT WE HAVE SEEN IS REALLY,
FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR HEARTS,Copy !req
130. TRULY DEPRESSING.Copy !req
131. REALLY, REALLY SAD STUFF.Copy !req
132. - I MEAN, THAT'S WHY PEOPLE
RESPECT HILLARY CLINTON SO MUCH,Copy !req
133. 'CAUSE NOBODY TAKES
A PUNCH LIKE HER.Copy !req
134. SHE'S THE STRONGEST, SMARTEST
PUNCHING BAG IN THE WORLD.Copy !req
135. - IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE
ANTONIO SAID TO ME,Copy !req
136. "CAN WE TURN
THIS CAR AROUNDCopy !req
137. "AND SAY WE'RE SICK
OR SOMETHING,Copy !req
138. OR THAT WE LOST OUR WAY?"Copy !req
139. OF COURSE THAT
WOULD BE RUDE TO YOU.Copy !req
140. - WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION?Copy !req
141. - I'M A CITY PLANNER.Copy !req
142. - THIS CITY WAS PLANNED?Copy !req
143. - ON THE DRIVE IN,
I SAW A TATTOO PARLORCopy !req
144. NEXT TO A SCHOOL
NEXT TO A TACO BELL.Copy !req
145. IT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS DESIGNED
BY A VERY STUPID RODENT.Copy !req
146. - HE'S ACTUALLY
A PRETTY SMART RODENT.Copy !req
147. - AH.
YOU HAVE A QUICK WIT.Copy !req
148. - YOU KNOW WHAT?Copy !req
149. I'VE CHANGED MY MIND.
I WILL HAVE YOU FOR THE EVENING.Copy !req
150. OH, BOY.Copy !req
151. - SHE'LL GET BACK TO YOU
ON THAT.Copy !req
152. - POLITICALLY, NO.
I DON'T SUPPORT CHAVEZ.Copy !req
153. I DESPISE HIM
AND EVERYTHING THAT HE DOES.Copy !req
154. ON THE OTHER HAND, THIS IS
A PRETTY SWEET-ASS GUN.Copy !req
155. - THE BANANA
YOU WANTED, SEÑOR.Copy !req
156. - FINALLY.Copy !req
157. YOU PEEL.Copy !req
158. - WHAT?Copy !req
159. - WITH YOUR HANDS,Copy !req
160. YOU PEEL THE BANANA.Copy !req
161. - OKAY, LET'S GET STARTED,
SHALL WE?Copy !req
162. I HAVE A FULL DAY
OF ACTIVITIES PLANNED.Copy !req
163. - I WOULD LIKE TO SEE
WHERE THE CHILDRENCopy !req
164. ARE FED THE SWEETENERS.Copy !req
165. - OUR RESTAURANT?Copy !req
166. - AMERICAN CHILDREN
ARE FATTENED MORE EFFICIENTLYCopy !req
167. THAN ANY OTHER CHILDREN
IN THE WORLD.Copy !req
168. THEY'RE LIKE LITTLE BASKETBALLS.
I MEAN, THEY'RE HUGE.Copy !req
169. LITTLE PORKERS.Copy !req
170. - OKAY, THIS IS
OUR THERMOMETER.Copy !req
171. I'M TRYING TO TURN
A GIANT DIRT PITCopy !req
172. INTO A COMMUNITY PARK,Copy !req
173. BUT I NEED $35,000,
AND THE CITY DOESN'T HAVECopy !req
174. ENOUGH MONEY IN ITS BUDGET.Copy !req
175. - I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.Copy !req
176. - YOU'VE NEVER HAD
A BUDGET SHORTAGE?Copy !req
177. NO.Copy !req
178. - VENEZUELA IS BLESSED
WITH MASSIVE OIL RESERVES.Copy !req
179. MASSIVE, I MEAN, TREMENDOUS,
LIKE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE.Copy !req
180. THE STATE SELLS THE OIL,Copy !req
181. KEEPS ALL THE MONEY,
AND WE BUILD WHATEVER WE WANT.Copy !req
182. - WOW, WELL, NOW
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.Copy !req
183. - I FEEL THAT MY ENGLISH
WAS VERY CLEAR.Copy !req
184. SHALL I REPEAT?Copy !req
185. VENEZUELA—
VENEZUELA, MY COUNTRY—Copy !req
186. HAS A LOT OF OIL.
OIL IS FOOD FOR CARS.Copy !req
187. - THE VENEZUELANS
ARE VERY CONFIDENT PEOPLE.Copy !req
188. OKAY, LOOK, I KNOW THESE GUYS
DIDN'T TURN OUTCopy !req
189. TO BE EXACTLY
HOW WE THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE.Copy !req
190. - YOU SAID THEY MIGHT NOT KNOW
WHAT TOILET PAPER IS.Copy !req
191. - I'M CALLING AN AUDIBLE.Copy !req
192. WE CAN'T BE HUMBLE ANYMORE.Copy !req
193. WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO IS—
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE THEMCopy !req
194. TO OUR BEST PARK, AND WE'RE
GOING TO BLOW THEIR SOCKS OFF.Copy !req
195. - YEAH, I DON'T THINK THAT'S
GOING TO BLOW THEIR SOCKS OFF.Copy !req
196. - FINE, WE'LL GO FURTHER.Copy !req
197. WE'LL TAKE THEM TO CHICAGO
AND PRETEND IT'S PART OF PAWNEE.Copy !req
198. OR NEW YORK.Copy !req
199. OR LONDON!Copy !req
200. NO, WAIT,
THE MONEY'S DIFFERENT THERE.Copy !req
201. THEY'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
OKAY, NEVER MIND.Copy !req
202. WE'LL GO TO THE PARK.Copy !req
203. EVERYBODY DOING
OKAY BACK THERE?Copy !req
204. COMFORTABLE?Copy !req
205. WELL, THE MOTEL WE'RE PUTTING
YOU UP IN IS REALLY NICE.Copy !req
206. YOU CAN WATCH TBS.Copy !req
207. DO YOU HAVE TBS
IN VENEZUELA?Copy !req
208. - I HAVE EVERYTHING
IN VENEZUELA.Copy !req
209. I HAVE FOUR SATELLITE DISHES
ON MY ESTATE.Copy !req
210. WE GET 14,000 CHANNELS.Copy !req
211. 14,000.Copy !req
212. I ALREADY KNOW
WHO WINS PROJECT RUNWAY.Copy !req
213. - WOW, I'M COMING
OVER TO YOUR HOUSE, THEN.Copy !req
214. - I SEE WHAT YOU'RE GETTING AT,
BUT, NO, THANK YOU.Copy !req
215. I AM STILL PRIMARILY INTERESTED
IN THE LARGE BLACK WOMAN.Copy !req
216. - MM.Copy !req
217. HERE WE ARE.
TAKE IT IN, BOYS.Copy !req
218. - THIS IS AN EMBARRASSMENT
TO AMERICA.Copy !req
219. - I'M SORRY?Copy !req
220. - YOU ARE RIGHT
TO WANT TO CORRECT THIS.Copy !req
221. - CORRECT WHAT?Copy !req
222. - THIS IS THE GIANT
PIT OF DIRTCopy !req
223. YOU WERE TELLING US ABOUT,
IS IT NOT?Copy !req
224. THE ONE YOU WANT TO TURN
INTO A PARK?Copy !req
225. - NO, NO.
THIS IS ALREADY A PARK.Copy !req
226. AND IT'S ONE
OF OUR BEST-LOVED PARKS.Copy !req
227. - WHY ARE THE TREES SO SMALL?Copy !req
228. - THEY'RE NOT THAT SMALL.Copy !req
229. BESIDES, SIZE DOESN'T MATTER.Copy !req
230. - YES, IT DOES.Copy !req
231. OUR TREES ARE HUGE.Copy !req
232. WE BUILD TUNNELS THROUGH THEM.Copy !req
233. - THE PARKS IN BORAQUA
ARE FAR SUPERIOR.Copy !req
234. THE PARK IN MY HOMETOWN,
THE PARQUE DEL ESTE,Copy !req
235. WE HAVE A MONORAIL,
AND WE HAVE AN AQUARIUM.Copy !req
236. AND THE JARIPA AMPHITHEATRE
IS HUGE.Copy !req
237. - LADY GAGA PLAYED
THERE LAST WEEK.Copy !req
238. - GREAT, WELL, WE DON'T HAVE
LADY GAGA.Copy !req
239. AND I DON'T THINK SHE'S GOING
TO COME HERECopy !req
240. UNLESS HER CAREER
TAKES A VERY BAD TURN.Copy !req
241. BUT WE HAVE SOMETHING
MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN LADY GAGA.Copy !req
242. DEMOCRACY.Copy !req
243. I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU
AN EXAMPLE OF THAT.Copy !req
244. LET'S GO TO
A TOWN-HALL MEETING.Copy !req
245. - ELVIS.
OH, HENRY!Copy !req
246. RAUL, BUTTERFINGER.Copy !req
247. ANTONIO, NESTLE CRUNCH
WITH THE CRISPY RICE REMOVED.Copy !req
248. WEIRD CHOICE, BUT FOR YOU
I GOT IT DONE.Copy !req
249. - GRACIAS, SEÑOR.Copy !req
250. - GRACIAS.Copy !req
251. I FIND IT
INCREDIBLY DEMEANING,Copy !req
252. BUT, GUESS WHAT?Copy !req
253. I'M JUST GOING TO PICK THAT UP
REAL QUICK.Copy !req
254. - SO ARE YOU GUYS READY?
WE'RE ABOUT TO START.Copy !req
255. - THIS IS WHERE
YOU HAVE YOUR MEETINGS?Copy !req
256. - WELL, THE LOCATION ROTATES.Copy !req
257. SOMETIMES WE HAVE THEM
ON THE VOLLEYBALL COURTS.Copy !req
258. - WHERE DO YOU HOLD
YOUR MEETINGS?Copy !req
259. - WELL, NOW THAT YOU ASKED,
WE USUALLY ROTATE AS WELLCopy !req
260. BETWEEN DIFFERENT FORTRESSES
AND CITADELS AND PALACES.Copy !req
261. - MM, WE DON'T NEED PALACES.Copy !req
262. THE IDEAS ARE WHAT SHINE
IN OUR MEETINGS.Copy !req
263. - WHAT ARE YOU,
SOME KIND OF MORON?Copy !req
264. WHY DON'T YOU HAVE HAND DRYERS
IN THE PARK BATHROOMS?Copy !req
265. THEY'RE SO MUCH MORE SANITARY
THAN PAPER TOWELS!Copy !req
266. ANYONE KNOWS THAT!Copy !req
267. - MY DOG WENT
TO ONE OF YOUR PARKSCopy !req
268. AND ATE ANOTHER DOG'S FECES,Copy !req
269. AND I AM GOING TO SUE YOU
FOR THAT.Copy !req
270. - HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?Copy !req
271. - HUH?
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?Copy !req
272. - NOW IMAGINE
YOU'RE HOLDING COFFEE!Copy !req
273. - THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS.Copy !req
274. WHERE ARE THE ARMED MEN
WHO COME INCopy !req
275. TO TAKE THE PROTESTORS AWAY?
WHERE ARE THEY?Copy !req
276. THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR
IS NEVER TOLERATED IN BORAQUA.Copy !req
277. YOU SHOUT LIKE THAT,
THEY PUT YOU IN JAIL.Copy !req
278. RIGHT AWAY.Copy !req
279. NO TRIAL, NO NOTHING.Copy !req
280. JOURNALISTS—WE HAVE
A SPECIAL JAIL FOR JOURNALISTS.Copy !req
281. YOU ARE STEALING—
RIGHT TO JAIL.Copy !req
282. YOU'RE PLAYING MUSIC
TOO LOUD—RIGHT TO JAIL.Copy !req
283. RIGHT AWAY.Copy !req
284. YOU'RE DRIVING TOO FAST?
JAIL.Copy !req
285. SLOW? JAIL.Copy !req
286. YOU'RE CHARGING
TOO HIGH PRICES FOR SWEATERS,Copy !req
287. GLASSES,
YOU RIGHT TO JAIL.Copy !req
288. YOU UNDERCOOK FISH—
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, JAIL.Copy !req
289. YOU OVERCOOK CHICKEN—
ALSO JAIL.Copy !req
290. UNDERCOOK, OVERCOOK.Copy !req
291. YOU MAKE AN APPOINTMENT
WITH A DENTISTCopy !req
292. AND YOU DON'T SHOW UP,
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, JAIL.Copy !req
293. RIGHT AWAY.Copy !req
294. WE HAVE THE BEST PATIENTS
IN THE WORLD...Copy !req
295. BECAUSE OF JAIL.Copy !req
296. - WELL, IT WAS TOUGH GOING,
BUT IT WAS LIVELY.Copy !req
297. WHAT DID YOU THINK
OF THE OPEN FORUM?Copy !req
298. - THIS MEETING
OF UGLY PEOPLE YELLING—Copy !req
299. IT IS LIKE TORTURE.Copy !req
300. - THAT'S ONE PERSPECTIVE.Copy !req
301. - IN BORAQUA,
THE GOVERNMENT MOVESCopy !req
302. LIKE A HOT KNIFE
THROUGH BUTTER.Copy !req
303. I'M SUPPOSED TO SIT HERE
AND LISTEN TO PEOPLE YELLING,Copy !req
304. THESE FAT FACES
TURNING ALL RED.Copy !req
305. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
WE'RE LIKE KINGS.Copy !req
306. WE WALK DOWN THE STREET,
AND THEY TREAT USCopy !req
307. LIKE ROCK STARS.Copy !req
308. WE ANSWER TO NOBODY.Copy !req
309. - WELL, IN A TRUE DEMOCRACY,
WE BELIEVECopy !req
310. THAT THE INPUT OF OUR CITIZENS
IS EXTREMELY VALUABLE.Copy !req
311. - HEY, THESE PRETZELS SUCK.Copy !req
312. - THANK YOU.Copy !req
313. SEE?Copy !req
314. - NO WONDER NOTHING EVER
GETS DONE IN THIS COUNTRY.Copy !req
315. - REALLY?
NOTHING GETS DONE?Copy !req
316. TELL THAT TO
THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGECopy !req
317. OR AMERICAN IDOLCopy !req
318. OR THE MOON.
OH, WAIT.Copy !req
319. YOU CAN'T 'CAUSE
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THERE.Copy !req
320. - LOOK, THIS IS NOT PERSONAL.Copy !req
321. WE JUST THINK
THAT YOU ARE WEAK,Copy !req
322. AND YOUR CITY IS DISGUSTING.Copy !req
323. - I THINK YOU'RE RUDE.Copy !req
324. AND I THINK YOU'VE BEEN RUDE
SINCE YOU CAME HERE.Copy !req
325. AND I THINK THAT
YOUR MEDALS ARE STUPID.Copy !req
326. AND YOUR UNIFORM IS LAME.Copy !req
327. AND YOU GUYS WANT TO MARRY
HUGO CHAVEZ.Copy !req
328. - HEY...Copy !req
329. DO NOT DISRESPECT CHAVEZ.Copy !req
330. - STUPID CHAVEZ.Copy !req
331. - I JUST TOLD YOU
NOT TO DISRESPECT HIM.Copy !req
332. - GOOD, I JUST DID.
- THAT'S TWICE.Copy !req
333. - I DON'T LIKE CHAVEZ.Copy !req
334. - YES, YOU DO,
AND DO NOT DISRESPECT HIM.Copy !req
335. - NO, I DON'T.
- YES, YOU DO.Copy !req
336. - NO, I DON'T, RAUL.Copy !req
337. LOOK, IF YOU DON'T
LIKE IT HERE, THEN GO.Copy !req
338. OKAY, RAUL?Copy !req
339. - GREAT.
- GOOD, SHUT UP.Copy !req
340. - WE'RE SHUTTING UP, YEAH.Copy !req
341. HERE WE GO.Copy !req
342. - NOS VAMOS.
- THOSE ARE OUR PENS.Copy !req
343. - GREAT.
WE DON'T EVEN NEED THEM.Copy !req
344. - GREAT.
THEN DON'T TAKE THEM.Copy !req
345. - WE DIDN'T.Copy !req
346. - THEY STARTED IT.Copy !req
347. - LOOK, THOSE GUYS
WERE RUDE, ARROGANT,Copy !req
348. NARROW-MINDED, CLASS-A JERKS.Copy !req
349. NOW, I MAY HAVE LOST MY COOL,
BUT THEY DESERVED IT.Copy !req
350. - OKAY, I'LL CALL THE MAYOR
AND CANCEL THE PHOTO-OP.Copy !req
351. - NO, DON'T DO THAT.Copy !req
352. - OKAY, THEN CALL
THE VENEZUELANS AND APOLOGIZE.Copy !req
353. - NO, THEY WERE RUDE, ARROGANT,
NARROW-MINDED, CLASS-A JERKS.Copy !req
354. - OKAY, THEN I'LL CALL THE MAYOR
AND CANCEL THE PHOTO-OP.Copy !req
355. - NO.Copy !req
356. - DO YOU SEE
THE PROBLEM HERE?Copy !req
357. - YES, BUT I DON'T WANT TO.Copy !req
358. YESTERDAY I WAS
TOUGH AND DIRECT.Copy !req
359. AND TODAY
I HAVE TO BE CHARMING.Copy !req
360. BASICALLY, YESTERDAY
I WAS HILLARY CLINTON,Copy !req
361. AND TODAY I'M BILL.
- GRACIAS.Copy !req
362. CAN I GET ANYONE
ANYTHING TO DRINKCopy !req
363. BEFORE WE START—
COFFEE, BRANDY?Copy !req
364. - I'D LOVE SOME COFFEE.Copy !req
365. - ANYTHING, GUYS?
SOME NUTS?Copy !req
366. - I'LL HAVE SOME NUTS.
- GUMMI BEARS.Copy !req
367. - SURE.
- APPLE CRISPS.Copy !req
368. - YEAH.
- GRANOLA BARS.Copy !req
369. - I'LL TAKE THOSE.Copy !req
370. - NOTHING?
SURE?Copy !req
371. OKAY, I'LL BE RIGHT OUT THERE
IF YOU NEED ME.Copy !req
372. - WELL, RAUL, GENTLEMEN,
THANK YOU FOR COMING.Copy !req
373. I WOULD JUST LIKE
TO FIRST SAYCopy !req
374. I AM SO SORRY
FOR BLOWING UP YESTERDAY.Copy !req
375. IT WAS COMPLETELY UNCALLED FOR.Copy !req
376. - WELL, WE ARE SORRY AS WELL.Copy !req
377. WE WERE VERY TIRED
FROM OUR LONG JOURNEY.Copy !req
378. - ALSO, WE WERE
A BIT JEALOUS.Copy !req
379. OUR COLLEAGUES FROM CARACAS
ARE VISITINGCopy !req
380. THEIR SISTER CITY OF MIAMI.
- YEAH.Copy !req
381. - THEY'VE BEEN PARTYING
WITH DWYANE WADE.Copy !req
382. THEY SENT US ALL THESE PHOTOS
AND QUICKTIME FILES,Copy !req
383. I MEAN, YOU HAVE TO SEE
THIS PLACE MIAMI, JUST GORGEOUS.Copy !req
384. EVERYTHING—THERE'S SO MUCH
SOUL AND LIFE.Copy !req
385. EVERYWHERE—
EVERY LITTLE, TINY STREET.Copy !req
386. SO MUCH CULTURE AND HISTORY,
AND THE CARS—Copy !req
387. PEOPLE REALLY TAKE CARE
OF THEIR CARS THERE.Copy !req
388. - I NOTICED THAT
IN THE PICTURES.Copy !req
389. - THEY'RE A LITTLE OLDER
BUT STILL JUST BEAUTIFUL.Copy !req
390. IT'S REALLY, REALLY NICE,
AND THE FOOD—Copy !req
391. SO SPICY AND WONDERFUL.Copy !req
392. WE COULD NOT EVEN BELIEVE.Copy !req
393. BUT PAWNEE IS
REALLY GOOD AS WELL.Copy !req
394. IN ANY CASE,
I MADE A FEW PHONE CALLS,Copy !req
395. AND, UH,
THE GOVERNMENT OF VENEZUELACopy !req
396. HAS AUTHORIZED
A SPECIAL GIFT FOR YOU.Copy !req
397. - $35,000?Copy !req
398. - YES, IT IS TO FILL YOUR PIT,Copy !req
399. TO START TO BUILD A PARK.Copy !req
400. - OH, NO, NO.
WE CAN'T TAKE THIS.Copy !req
401. - YES, YES, YES,
PLEASE.Copy !req
402. WE'LL SEE YOU LATER TODAY
AT THE PHOTO OPPORTUNITY.Copy !req
403. AND I THINK WE ARE GOOD HERE.Copy !req
404. NO?
¿TODO BIEN?Copy !req
405. - BUENO, RAUL.
- OKAY.Copy !req
406. - UN POCO BRUTA,
PERO SE LO HIZO CLARO.Copy !req
407. - OKAY, GRACIAS.Copy !req
408. - GRACIAS.
- GOOD MEETING.Copy !req
409. - AH, I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
410. MAYBE I SHOULD
RETURN THE MONEY.Copy !req
411. IT'S FROM
A FOREIGN GOVERNMENT.Copy !req
412. I DON'T REALLY
TRUST THESE GUYS.Copy !req
413. I'M GOING TO RETURN THE MONEY.
- ARE YOU CRAZY?Copy !req
414. YOU COULD BUY A LOW-END LEXUS
WITH THAT MONEY.Copy !req
415. - OR YOU COULD BUILD A PARK
WITH THAT MONEY.Copy !req
416. - LET'S LOOK
AT THE PROS AND CONS.Copy !req
417. - PRO, WE COULD FILL IN THE PIT
AND BUILD A PARK.Copy !req
418. - CON, WE MIGHT BE FILLING IT IN
WITH DIRTY MONEY.Copy !req
419. - PRO, $35,000
WORTH OF DIRTY MONEY.Copy !req
420. - CON, NOT QUITE SURE
WHY THAT'S A PRO.Copy !req
421. - PRO, WE CAN FILL IN
THE PIT.Copy !req
422. - CON, ANN ALREADY SAID THAT.Copy !req
423. UGH, PRO AND CON NEVER WORKS.Copy !req
424. - PRO, YES, IT DOES.Copy !req
425. - UGH—
I DON'T—UGH.Copy !req
426. FINE, FINE.
WE'LL KEEP THE MONEY, OKAY?Copy !req
427. EVERYBODY HAPPY?
JERRY, ARE YOU HAPPY?Copy !req
428. - WHAT DID I DO?
- MEETING ADJOURNED, JERRY.Copy !req
429. - CAN I JUST SAY, I STILL FEEL
KIND OF WEIRD ABOUT THIS MONEY.Copy !req
430. - OKAY, LOOK, I KNOW
THEY'VE GIVEN YOU A HARD TIME.Copy !req
431. WHEN THE MAYOR GETS HERE,
WE'LL DO THE PHOTO-OP,Copy !req
432. THEY'LL BE OUT OF OUR HAIR.Copy !req
433. YOU'LL GET TO BUILD YOUR PARK.Copy !req
434. - AH, LESLIE, HELLO.
- RAUL.Copy !req
435. THE MAYOR WILL BE WITH US
IN JUST A FEW MINUTES.Copy !req
436. - IF YOU DON'T MIND,
WE WOULD LIKECopy !req
437. TO TAKE A VIDEO OF YOU
TO SHOW OUR SUPERIORS.Copy !req
438. - OH, OKAY, SURE.Copy !req
439. - DO YOU HAVE THE CHECK
THAT WE GAVE TO YOU?Copy !req
440. - UH, YES, I DO.Copy !req
441. - OKAY, YOU CAN SHOW IT
TO THE CAMERA,Copy !req
442. AND SAY HOW MUCH IT IS
AND WHAT IT IS FOR.Copy !req
443. - OKAY, THIS IS A CHECK
FOR $35,000,Copy !req
444. AND IT IS TO BUILD A PARK.Copy !req
445. - HOW GENEROUS.Copy !req
446. - YES, IT'S REALLY GENEROUS.Copy !req
447. - NOW SAY, "VIVA VENEZUELA."Copy !req
448. - VIVA VENEZUELA.Copy !req
449. - VIVA CHAVEZ.Copy !req
450. - THANK YOU, VENEZUELA.Copy !req
451. - VIVA CHAVEZ—SAY IT.Copy !req
452. - AH, COME ON.Copy !req
453. I—I DON'T WANT TO VIVA
THAT GUY.Copy !req
454. - WE JUST GAVE YOU $35,000.
THAT'S WORTH ONE VIVA.Copy !req
455. - VIVA CHAVEZ.Copy !req
456. - YES, VIVA CHAVEZ.Copy !req
457. GRACIAS.Copy !req
458. - YEAH.Copy !req
459. - ENTONCES...Copy !req
460. - WHAT IS HE SAYING?Copy !req
461. - UM, THEY ARE VERY HAPPY.Copy !req
462. THEY SAY HUGO CHAVEZ
WILL LOVE THIS VIDEO,Copy !req
463. BECAUSE IT IS ANOTHER SUCCESS
FOR THEIR COMMITTEE.Copy !req
464. - COMMITTEE?Copy !req
465. - YEAH.Copy !req
466. THEY'RE A COMMITTEE
TO HUMILIATE AND SHAME AMERICA.Copy !req
467. - GONNA BE A GOOD VIDEO.Copy !req
468. - THE COMMITTEE TO HUMILIATE
AND SHAME AMERICA?Copy !req
469. - YES, IT IS HUGO CHAVEZ'S
PASSION PROJECT.Copy !req
470. OH, WE JUST HAD AN IDEA.Copy !req
471. WHY DON'T YOU CALL YOUR PARK
AFTER CHAVEZ?Copy !req
472. DO YOU KNOW, YOU CALL IT,
"HUGO CHAVEZ PARK."Copy !req
473. AND YOU CAN HAVE
A NICE BIG FOUNTAIN OF HIS HEADCopy !req
474. SO THAT WHEN THE WATER
IS COMING OUT,Copy !req
475. HE'S SPITTING AT YOU
ALL THE TIME.Copy !req
476. YOU SHOULD WRITE THIS DOWN.Copy !req
477. - VIVA AMERICA.Copy !req
478. VIVA PAWNEE.Copy !req
479. VIVA MAYOR WALTER GUNDERSON.Copy !req
480. - YOU HAVE OFFENDED US.Copy !req
481. YOU HAVE OFFENDED
THE GOVERNMENT OF BORAQUA.Copy !req
482. YOU ARE NO LONGER OUR SISTER.Copy !req
483. VAMONOS. RAPIDO.Copy !req
484. - NO, AMERICA IS NOT PERFECT.Copy !req
485. BUT DIPLOMACY ISN'T JUST
SUCKING UP AND BEING A PUSHOVER.Copy !req
486. SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO GET TOUGH.Copy !req
487. I AM GOING TO BUILD
THAT PARK MYSELF,Copy !req
488. AND IT IS GOING TO BE AWESOME.Copy !req
489. AND IT'S NOT GOING TO HAVE
A FOUNTAINCopy !req
490. SHAPED LIKE
HUGO CHAVEZ'S HEADCopy !req
491. SPITTING WATER
ALL OVER EVERYONE,Copy !req
492. UNLESS THAT'S WHAT
THE PEOPLE WANT.Copy !req
493. AND THAT, SIR,
IS DEMOCRACY.Copy !req
494. - LESLIE, COME SEE THIS.Copy !req
495. CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO
THAT APRIL SENT ME.Copy !req
496. - HEY, GUYS, I'M AT
JHONNY'S PLACE IN VENEZUELA.Copy !req
497. IT'S OKAY, I GUESS.Copy !req
498. HE HAS, LIKE, 5 MILLION ROOMS.Copy !req
499. AND THIS IS ONLY
HIS GUEST HOUSE.Copy !req
500. - HOLY COW.Copy !req
501. - THERE'S A LOT
OF GUYS WITH GUNS HERE.Copy !req
502. IT'S BETTER THAN
MY MOM'S HOUSE, I GUESS.Copy !req
503. SO TELL LESLIE I DON'T KNOW
WHEN I'M GOING TO BE BACK.Copy !req
504. OH, AND DONNA'S HERE.Copy !req
505. - HEY, GUYS.Copy !req
506. HOLA.Copy !req