1. - RON!Copy !req
2. - HELLO, ANDY.Copy !req
3. - IT'S QUIET IN HERE.
WHERE IS EVERYONE?Copy !req
4. - THE GOVERNMENT HAS SHUT DOWN.Copy !req
5. IT'S IN EVERY NEWSPAPER.Copy !req
6. - HOW LONG IS IT GONNA LAST?Copy !req
7. - WELL, IF WE'RE LUCKY,Copy !req
8. THIS BUILDING
WILL BE EMPTY FOR MONTHS.Copy !req
9. - WOW.Copy !req
10. THAT IS REALLY BAD TIMING.Copy !req
11. I JUST GOT THIS SUPER-SWEET-ASS
RAD CROTCH ROCKET.Copy !req
12. I'VE ALWAYS
WANTED ONE OF THESE.Copy !req
13. BUT DUE TO, YOU KNOW,
NEVER HAVING A JOB,Copy !req
14. I COULDN'T AFFORD IT
UNTIL NOW.Copy !req
15. GOT A REALLY GOOD DEAL
ON MY LEASE.Copy !req
16. PAYING, LIKE, 12% INTEREST.Copy !req
17. THAT'S LIKE ONE OF THE HIGHEST
YOU CAN GET.Copy !req
18. HEY, SO I'VE BEEN
TRYING LIKE CRAZYCopy !req
19. TO GET AHOLD OF APRIL.Copy !req
20. IF YOU SEE HER,
WILL YOU TELL HERCopy !req
21. I REALLY NEED
TO TALK TO HER?Copy !req
22. - YOU GOT IT.Copy !req
23. - ALL RIGHT, THANKS, RON.Copy !req
24. WHUH-OH!Copy !req
25. NAILED IT.Copy !req
26. - ALL I CAN TELL YOUCopy !req
27. IS THAT ALL THE PARKS
ARE CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.Copy !req
28. LOOK, NO ONE IS MORE
UPSET ABOUT THIS THAN I AM.Copy !req
29. NOT LIKE IT'S A COMPETITION
OR ANYTHING,Copy !req
30. 'CAUSE IF IT WAS,
I WOULD WIN.Copy !req
31. BUT THAT'S NEITHER
HERE NOR THERE.Copy !req
32. THE POINT IS, I WOULD WIN.Copy !req
33. - HOW LONG WILL THEY BE CLOSED?Copy !req
34. - COULD BE FOREVER.Copy !req
35. - WITH THE GOVERNMENT SHUT DOWN,
WHO'S GONNA STOP AL QAEDA?Copy !req
36. - ONE THING AT A TIME.Copy !req
37. - SCHOOL IS OUT IN TWO WEEKS.Copy !req
38. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
WITH MY KIDS ALL DAY,Copy !req
39. KEEP THEM IN MY HOUSE?Copy !req
40. WHERE I LIVE?Copy !req
41. - I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO TELL YOU.Copy !req
42. - WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS' CONCERT
TOMORROWCopy !req
43. AT RAMSETT PARK?Copy !req
44. THE FREDDY SPAGHETTI CONCERT.Copy !req
45. - FREDDY SPAGHETTI
HAS BEEN CANCELED.Copy !req
46. - WHAT? JEEZ.Copy !req
47. - WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.Copy !req
48. - I AM.Copy !req
49. I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY
BECAUSE I DON'T THINKCopy !req
50. WE SHOULD BE WASTING
TAXPAYER MONEY.Copy !req
51. - IT'S NOT A WASTE
TO PROVIDE FUN FOR KIDS.Copy !req
52. AND I FOR ONE
DO NOT LIKE HAVINGCopy !req
53. FREDDY SPAGHETTI'S BLOOD
ON MY HANDS.Copy !req
54. - I BELIEVE YOU MEAN
FREDDY SPAGHETTI'S SAUCE.Copy !req
55. - UGH.Copy !req
56. - MM.Copy !req
57. I BURNED MY TONGUE.Copy !req
58. DON'T EVEN CARE.Copy !req
59. - YOU SEE THIS COLOR?Copy !req
60. I DON'T LIKE IT.
IT'S TOO DEPRESSING.Copy !req
61. - HI, CHRIS.Copy !req
62. - LESLIE KNOPE.Copy !req
63. ONE SECOND.Copy !req
64. I'D LIKE SOME WATER.Copy !req
65. I'D LIKE IT TO BE COLD,
I'D LIKE IT WITHOUT ICE,Copy !req
66. I LIKE IT IN A GLASS
OR A MUG WITH NO HANDLE.Copy !req
67. THANK YOU.Copy !req
68. HOW CAN I HELP YOU?Copy !req
69. - WELL, I BELIEVE THERE HAS BEEN
A CASUALTY OF WARCopy !req
70. IN THIS GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN,
AND IT SADDENS ME.Copy !req
71. AND IT IS PAWNEE'S CHILDREN.Copy !req
72. - WELL, SIT DOWN AND TELL MECopy !req
73. EXACTLY WHAT'S HAPPENED.Copy !req
74. - WELL, EVERY YEAR
WE KICK OFF THE SUMMERCopy !req
75. WITH A CHILDREN'S CONCERT
SERIES,Copy !req
76. AND THIS YEAR,
THE CONCERT HAS BEEN CANCELEDCopy !req
77. DUE TO THE SHUTDOWN.Copy !req
78. - THAT'S TERRIBLE.Copy !req
79. AND WE NEED TO FIX IT.Copy !req
80. - OH! ALL RIGHT.
GREAT.Copy !req
81. I'M VERY GLAD THAT
YOU AGREE WITH ME,Copy !req
82. BUT I ACTUALLY WORKED
REALLY HARD ON MY ARGUMENT.Copy !req
83. IS THERE ANY WAY
I CAN STILL KIND OF...Copy !req
84. - OH, PLEA—
I'D LOVE TO HEAR IT.Copy !req
85. - OH, GOOD, THANK YOU.Copy !req
86. "YOU'RE WRONG.
ARE YOU CRAZY?Copy !req
87. CAN YOU PUT A PRICE TAG
ON A CHILD'S SMILE?"Copy !req
88. - LESLIE KNOPE.Copy !req
89. WHAT A SURPRISE.Copy !req
90. THE GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN
SHUT DOWN FOR TWO DAYS.Copy !req
91. AND ONE CITY EMPLOYEE
HAS TRIED TO SCHEDULECopy !req
92. 14 MEETINGS WITH ME.Copy !req
93. CAN YOU GUESS WHO?Copy !req
94. - BEN, THERE WAS
A BIG CONCERT?Copy !req
95. NOW THERE'S NOT?Copy !req
96. ISN'T THERE ANYTHING
THAT WE CAN DO ABOUT THAT?Copy !req
97. - NO, THERE ISN'T.
- IT'S TOO BAD.Copy !req
98. SORRY, LESLIE. DAMN!Copy !req
99. I HAVE TO GO RUN TEN MILES.Copy !req
100. I HAVE RUN TEN MILES A DAY
EVERY DAY FOR 18 YEARS.Copy !req
101. THAT'S 65,000 MILES.Copy !req
102. A THIRD OF THE WAY
TO THE MOON.Copy !req
103. MY GOAL IS TO RUN TO
THE MOON.Copy !req
104. - BEN, LET'S TALK SOLUTIONS.Copy !req
105. - LESLIE, PAWNEE IS BROKE.Copy !req
106. THERE'S NO MONEY
FOR A CONCERT. OKAY?Copy !req
107. I MEAN, IDAHO CUT
THEIR PARKS DEPARTMENT BY 80%,Copy !req
108. AND IDAHO IS BASICALLY
ONE GIANT PARK.Copy !req
109. - I'VE SAID IT BEFORE
AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, BEN—Copy !req
110. PAWNEE IS BETTER THAN IDAHO.Copy !req
111. - NO, PAWNEE
IS NOT SPECIAL, OKAY?Copy !req
112. - OH.
- YOUR DEPARTMENT...Copy !req
113. ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE,
IS NOT A PRIORITY.Copy !req
114. AND FRANKLY, YOU'RE
NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BECopy !req
115. IN THE BUILDING, LESLIE.Copy !req
116. YOU'RE NON-ESSENTIAL.Copy !req
117. - THAT IS NOT YOUR CALL.Copy !req
118. - I KNOW.
IT'S ON YOUR BADGE.Copy !req
119. - THIS? THIS ISN'T ME.Copy !req
120. - ANN PERKINS!Copy !req
121. - CHRIS... SOMETHING.Copy !req
122. - HI! I WAS JUST DOING MY DAILY
LUNCHTIME TEN MILES,Copy !req
123. AND I RAN BY THE HOSPITAL,Copy !req
124. AND I THOUGHT I'D POP UP
AND SAY HI.Copy !req
125. - DID YOU JUST START YOUR RUN?Copy !req
126. - NO, I'M ALREADY
AT MILE NINE.Copy !req
127. - BUT YOU'RE NOT SWEATING
AT ALL.Copy !req
128. - I KNOW—I HAVE
A RESTING HEART RATECopy !req
129. OF 28 BEATS PER MINUTE.Copy !req
130. THE SCIENTIST WHO STUDIED ME
SAID THAT MY HEARTCopy !req
131. COULD PUMP JET FUEL
UP INTO AN AIRPLANE.Copy !req
132. I'D LOVE TO GO OUT
ON A DATE WITH YOU.Copy !req
133. I THINK YOU MIGHT
FIND ME ATTRACTIVE,Copy !req
134. BECAUSE YOU GOT DRUNK
AND KISSED ME WHEN WE FIRST MET.Copy !req
135. AND, NO PRESSURE,
BUT I DO HAVE TONIGHT OPEN.Copy !req
136. - I'M SO SORRY.
I'M REALLY BUSY RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
137. - NO PROBLEM.Copy !req
138. I WILL TRY AGAIN SOON,
ANN PERKINS.Copy !req
139. - THAT'S THE GUY WHO LIKES YOU
THAT YOU'RE NOT INTO.Copy !req
140. - YEAH.Copy !req
141. - AND WHICH PART OF HIM
ARE YOU NOT LOOKING AT?Copy !req
142. - TRADITIONALLY,Copy !req
143. WHEN I END
A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP,Copy !req
144. I'M A LITTLE FRAGILE.Copy !req
145. AND I HAVE A TENDENCY TO DO
SOME RECKLESS THINGS.Copy !req
146. SO I NEED
TO STAY AWAY FROM CHRIS.Copy !req
147. - I CAN'T STAND
THIS GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN!Copy !req
148. I CAN'T STAND
THIS BUDGET CRISIS.Copy !req
149. BUT WHAT I CAN'T STANDCopy !req
150. IS THEY'RE CANCELING
FREDDY SPAGHETTI.Copy !req
151. YOU KNOW EVERYTHING.
WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT THIS?Copy !req
152. - I DON'T KNOW, LESLIE.Copy !req
153. WHY DON'T YOU SEE A MOVIE
OR GO SHOPPING OR TRY—Copy !req
154. - WAIT A MINUTE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
155. WHAT'S HAPPENING?Copy !req
156. - UM...Copy !req
157. YOU KNOW, THEY OFFERED ME
A BUYOUT, AND I TOOK IT.Copy !req
158. AND SO NOW I WORK
FOR NORTON CONSTRUCTION.Copy !req
159. - SORRY, I KNOW I SHOULDN'T
HAVE DONE THAT.Copy !req
160. - THAT'S OKAY.
- HOW COULD YOU QUIT?Copy !req
161. - YOU KNOW, NOT EVERYONECopy !req
162. HAS YOUR ENTHUSIASM
FOR THIS WORK.Copy !req
163. - YOU KNOW, I GUESS I'VE BEEN
MISPRONOUNCING YOUR NAMECopy !req
164. ALL THESE YEARS.Copy !req
165. MARK BRENDANA-QUITS.Copy !req
166. - RECENTLY, I HAD BEEN
THINKING ABOUT MAYBE,Copy !req
167. UM, LEAVING THIS JOB.Copy !req
168. BUT I FELT LIKE
I NEEDED A SIGN.Copy !req
169. AND THEN ANN
BROKE UP WITH MECopy !req
170. THE WEEK THAT I WAS GOING
TO PROPOSE.Copy !req
171. THE GOVERNMENT GOT SHUT DOWN,Copy !req
172. AND YESTERDAY...Copy !req
173. ONE OF THOSE PIGEONS
TOOK A ON ME.Copy !req
174. AND I WAS INDOORS, SO...Copy !req
175. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?Copy !req
176. - HEY, SORRY.
I NEED YOUR HELP.Copy !req
177. IS THIS A BAD TIME?Copy !req
178. - LUCY'S HERE,Copy !req
179. I'M IN MY SEXY PAJAMAS,Copy !req
180. I JUST TOOK FOUR BENADRYLS
TO DULL MY SENSITIVITY.Copy !req
181. YES! IT IS A BAD TIME.Copy !req
182. - YOU'RE ABOUT TO HAVE SEX.Copy !req
183. - WHY ELSE WOULD BOYZ II MEN'S
ON BENDED KNEECopy !req
184. BE PLAYING RIGHT NOW?Copy !req
185. - OKAY, I JUST WANT TO GIVE YOU
A LITTLE ADVICE,Copy !req
186. WHICH IS DON'T MAKE IT LAST
REALLY LONG.Copy !req
187. LADIES DON'T LIKE THAT.Copy !req
188. - OKAY, GREAT.
- OKAY?Copy !req
189. WAIT, JUST ONE MORE THING.Copy !req
190. ARE YOU USING PROTECTION?Copy !req
191. - YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M JUST GONNA STAY AWAYCopy !req
192. FROM ALL GUYS RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
193. - YEAH, LESS MAN TIME,
MORE ANN TIME.Copy !req
194. - YEAH.
- YEAH.Copy !req
195. - EVERYONE NEEDS A FRIEND
THEY CAN CALLCopy !req
196. AND WAKE UP
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.Copy !req
197. LESLIE'S USUALLY
ALREADY UP.Copy !req
198. AND OFTEN, SHE'S ALREADY
ON HER WAY OVER.Copy !req
199. - THE ONLY GUY
THAT I CARE ABOUT RIGHT NOWCopy !req
200. IS SIX FEET TALL WITH WILD,
CRAZY HAIRCopy !req
201. AND A UKULELE THAT DOUBLES
AS A WATER GUN.Copy !req
202. FREDDY SPAGHETTI.
- OH.Copy !req
203. - CHILDREN'S CONCERTS
AREN'T A PRIORITY THESE DAYS.Copy !req
204. YOU KNOW WHAT IS?
SEWAGE.Copy !req
205. PAWNEE'S KIDS ARE LESS IMPORTANT
THAN POOP TUBES.Copy !req
206. I DON'T KNOW, I MEAN,
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?Copy !req
207. THAT'S THE WAY IT IS AND—Copy !req
208. - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.Copy !req
209. IF ALL THE PARKS ARE CLOSED,Copy !req
210. WHY NOT JUST HAVE THE CONCERT
IN THE LOT BEHIND MY HOUSE?Copy !req
211. - ANN, YOU DEVIOUS BASTARD.Copy !req
212. - WELL, I'VE SPENT
THE LAST THREE HOURSCopy !req
213. COMING UP WITH THE PLAN.Copy !req
214. AND I SENT UP THE BAT SIGNALCopy !req
215. FOR ALL THE PEOPLE
IN THE PARKS DEPARTMENTCopy !req
216. TO COME AND JOIN US.Copy !req
217. I TOLD THEM TO BE HERE
BY 8:00.Copy !req
218. - DO YOU THINK ANYBODY'S
GONNA SHOW UP?Copy !req
219. - "A," YES.Copy !req
220. "B," EVEN IF THEY DON'T,Copy !req
221. WE'LL JUST PUT THE CONCERT
ON OURSELVES.Copy !req
222. BUT, "C," YES, YES—THEY'RE
DEFINITELY GONNA SHOW UP.Copy !req
223. ALTHOUGH, "D," MAYBE NOT.Copy !req
224. - I THINK THAT YOU NEED
TO PREPARE FORCopy !req
225. THE EVENTUALITY THAT NO ONE—Copy !req
226. - HELLO?Copy !req
227. - OHH!Copy !req
228. GOD BLESS YOU,
JERRY GERGICH!Copy !req
229. - WOW!Copy !req
230. NEVER THOUGHT
I'D HEAR THOSE WORDS FROM YOU.Copy !req
231. - HEY.
- APRIL'S HERE. MOVE, JERRY.Copy !req
232. APRIL...Copy !req
233. I DIDN'T THINK
YOU WERE GONNA HELP.Copy !req
234. - I STILL MIGHT NOT.Copy !req
235. JERRY, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT
LIFTING HEAVY THINGS?Copy !req
236. - OOH, MY DOCTOR JUST SAID
I SHOULD AVOID—Copy !req
237. - BEING A WUSS?
YES, I AGREE.Copy !req
238. SO GO OUT THERE AND GET
THE EQUIPMENTCopy !req
239. OUT OF THE TRUCK.Copy !req
240. YOU'RE HERE.
ANN?Copy !req
241. CAN YOU MAKE US
SOME MORE PANCAKES?Copy !req
242. - YES, ANN,
I WANT PANCAKES.Copy !req
243. - UH, OKAY.Copy !req
244. - WITH CURRENT
AND PROJECTED DEFICITS,Copy !req
245. WE NEED TO CUT EXPENDITURES
BY 32%.Copy !req
246. - LET'S MAKE IT AN EVEN 40.Copy !req
247. - OH, THAT'S NOT NECESSARY.Copy !req
248. - SLASH IT.
SLASH IT.Copy !req
249. - RON.Copy !req
250. A LOT OF PEOPLE
ARE GOING TO GET FIRED.Copy !req
251. DO YOU MIND
TRYING NOT TO GLOAT?Copy !req
252. - YES.
I DO, FLORENCE.Copy !req
253. I DO MIND THAT.Copy !req
254. I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS.Copy !req
255. I MADE PENNANTS.Copy !req
256. I AM AN OFFICIAL MEMBER
OF A TASK FORCECopy !req
257. DEDICATED TO SLASHING
THE CITY BUDGET.Copy !req
258. JUST SAYING THAT
GAVE ME A SEMI.Copy !req
259. RIGHT OFF THE BAT,Copy !req
260. WE SELL CITY HALL.Copy !req
261. LET SOMEBODY TURN IT
INTO A LARGE GAS STATIONCopy !req
262. OR A TJ MAXX.Copy !req
263. - RON, THAT IS A VERY CREATIVE
IDEA.Copy !req
264. BUT WE DON'T WANT TO SELL
ANY OF OUR MAJOR ASSETS,Copy !req
265. BECAUSE WE DON'T
WANT TO LOSE OUTCopy !req
266. ON ANY FUTURE
REVENUE STREAMS.Copy !req
267. - I HEAR THAT.Copy !req
268. DON'T WORRY,
I HAVE TONS MORE IDEAS.Copy !req
269. - OKAY, UH—Copy !req
270. SO SORRY.
NEW RINGTONE.Copy !req
271. DON'T CUT ANYTHING
WITHOUT ME.Copy !req
272. LESLIE?Copy !req
273. - I DON'T CARE IF YOU HATE
WHAT WE DO.Copy !req
274. I LOVE IT ENOUGH
FOR BOTH OF US.Copy !req
275. WE'RE GONNA PUT ON
THE FREDDY SPAGHETTI CONCERT,Copy !req
276. TODAY, 5:00, ON LOT 48.Copy !req
277. - YOU CAN'T DO THAT.Copy !req
278. - WATCH ME.
WE'RE GONNA DO THIS, RON.Copy !req
279. WITH OR WITHOUT YOU.Copy !req
280. - HAMMERING AWAY.Copy !req
281. - UNH.Copy !req
282. - CRANK IT.
HIT IT.Copy !req
283. JUST NEEDS 16 MINUTES
FOR PREMIUM BOUNCE.Copy !req
284. OH, HEY, AFTER THIS, CAN YOU
GO PICK UP FREDDY SPAGHETTICopy !req
285. IN YOUR MERCEDES?Copy !req
286. WE NEED TO GIVE HIM
THE STAR TREATMENT.Copy !req
287. - HE'D BETTER BE SHOWERED.Copy !req
288. I JUST DETAILED MY CAR
AND HE IS NOTORIOUSLY FUNKY.Copy !req
289. - HEY.
SORRY WE'RE LATE.Copy !req
290. I HAD TO WAIT
ON MY GIRLFRIENDCopy !req
291. TO FINISH EATING BREAKFAST.Copy !req
292. - HI. I'M LUCY.Copy !req
293. - HI.Copy !req
294. - WE HAD DINNER LAST NIGHT.Copy !req
295. AND... BREAKFAST THIS MORNING.Copy !req
296. WHAT WERE WE DOING
IN BETWEEN?Copy !req
297. SEX STUFF.Copy !req
298. - YOU GUYS KNOW TOM
REALLY WELL,Copy !req
299. SO I DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE
FOR HIS BEHAVIOR, RIGHT?Copy !req
300. - RIGHT.Copy !req
301. YEAH, AND WE'RE SO GLAD
YOU'RE HERE, THANKS FOR COMING.Copy !req
302. - THANKS, IT'S GONNA BE FUN.Copy !req
303. - WE'RE GONNA PUT ON A SHOW
TODAY.Copy !req
304. AND IT'S NOT GONNA MAKE
ALL THE PROBLEMS IN OUR TOWNCopy !req
305. GO AWAY.Copy !req
306. BUT IT IS GONNA MAKE
A LOT OF PEOPLE HAPPY.Copy !req
307. EVERYBODY READY?Copy !req
308. - YES.
- YEAH.Copy !req
309. - ALL RIGHT. SO—
OH, I FORGOT.Copy !req
310. UM, I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE
TO GET PORTA-POTTIESCopy !req
311. SO THE AUDIENCE
ARE GONNA HAVE TO USECopy !req
312. ANN'S HOUSE FOR THE BATHROOMS.Copy !req
313. - WAIT, AREN'T WE EXPECTING,
LIKE, 300 PEOPLE?Copy !req
314. - HOPEFULLY.
OKAY! BACK TO WORK!Copy !req
315. - THE CRAZIEST THING IS
IT'S, LIKE, SUPER LOUD.Copy !req
316. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?Copy !req
317. I WAS ON IT FOR, LIKE,
FIVE MINUTES.Copy !req
318. I CAN'T REALLY HEAR ANYTHING.
AM I TALKING LOUD RIGHT NOW?Copy !req
319. - YEAH.
- YEAH?Copy !req
320. - AND YOU KNOW HOW TO RIDE
A MOTORCYCLE?Copy !req
321. - YEAH, IT'S JUST LIKE DRIVING
HALF A CAR.Copy !req
322. APRIL! HEY!
EXCUSE ME.Copy !req
323. I CALLED YOU
A GAJILLION TIMES.Copy !req
324. WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME BACK?Copy !req
325. - OH, I'M SO SORRY.Copy !req
326. I WAS TOO BUSY NOT WANTING
TO TALK TO YOU.Copy !req
327. - HUH?
- JERRY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
328. - LESLIE ASKED ME TO POST THESE
AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD.Copy !req
329. - I'LL DO IT.
- REALLY? WOW.Copy !req
330. - YES.
- THANKS.Copy !req
331. - YOU WANT SOME HELP
WITH THAT?Copy !req
332. - SO I HEARD ABOUT
YOU AND CHRIS.Copy !req
333. NICE.Copy !req
334. - MM, NOTHING'S GONNA HAPPEN
THERE.Copy !req
335. - WHY NOT?
YOU'RE A FREE AGENT.Copy !req
336. UNLIKE ME.Copy !req
337. - WELL, I MAKE SOME
BAD DECISIONS SOMETIMESCopy !req
338. AT THE END
OF LONG RELATIONSHIPS.Copy !req
339. I THINK I'M JUST GONNA
COOL IT FOR A WHILE.Copy !req
340. - THAT MAKES SENSE.Copy !req
341. YOU DON'T NEED TO JUMP
INTO ANYTHING.Copy !req
342. A GIRL LIKE YOU CAN HAVE
WHATEVER GUY SHE WANTS.Copy !req
343. - SHUT UP.
- I'M SERIOUS, ANN.Copy !req
344. I MIGHT JOKE AROUND ABOUT
HOW NICE YOUR BOOTY IS,Copy !req
345. BUT I THINK YOU'RE
A REALLY NICE PERSON,Copy !req
346. AND I THINK ANY GUY
WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE YOUCopy !req
347. AS A GIRLFRIEND.Copy !req
348. - LISTEN TO YOU.Copy !req
349. I LIKE TOM WITH A GIRLFRIEND.Copy !req
350. HE'S REALLY SWEET.Copy !req
351. - HOW MUCH DO YOU LIKE HIM?Copy !req
352. BECAUSE I COULD DEFINITELY
TALK TO LUCYCopy !req
353. ABOUT A THREE-WAY SITUATION.Copy !req
354. - UNBELIEVABLE.Copy !req
355. - I'M KIDDING.Copy !req
356. BUT SERIOUS AT THE SAME TIME.Copy !req
357. - OKAY, LET'S TALK ABOUT
PARKS AND REC.Copy !req
358. THIS ONE'S
A LITTLE COMPLICATED.Copy !req
359. - I KNOW WHAT'LL
LOOSEN UP OUR BRAINS.Copy !req
360. A MASSAGE TRAIN.Copy !req
361. AND I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.Copy !req
362. IT'S NOT THAT I WANT A MASSAGE.
I'LL BE THE CABOOSE.Copy !req
363. AND RON SWANSON
IS THE LOCOMOTIVE.Copy !req
364. - AND THANKS TO RON,
THE SERVICES BUDGETCopy !req
365. HAS ALREADY BEEN
CUT SIGNIFICANTLY.Copy !req
366. SO SEEMS LIKE
THE BEST OPTION IS JOB CUTS.Copy !req
367. STARTING WITH LESLIE KNOPE.Copy !req
368. HO HO.Copy !req
369. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.Copy !req
370. IF YOU FIRE LESLIE,Copy !req
371. YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST
GET RID OF THE DEPARTMENT.Copy !req
372. - LOOK, I KNOW HOW VALUABLE
SHE IS, BELIEVE ME.Copy !req
373. BUT WE'VE RUN OUT OF OPTIONS.Copy !req
374. - THERE ARE PLENTY
OF OTHER OPTIONS.Copy !req
375. FOR EXAMPLE,
SELL THE ZOO ANIMALS.Copy !req
376. - OKAY, TO WHOM?Copy !req
377. - COSMETICS LABS.Copy !req
378. WEIRD RESTAURANTS.Copy !req
379. I'M JUST SPITBALLING HERE.Copy !req
380. - OKAY, LET'S SWITCH IT UP.Copy !req
381. - LOOK, SHE MAKES
THE SECOND HIGHEST SALARYCopy !req
382. IN THE DEPARTMENT.Copy !req
383. THAT WILL GO A LONG WAY.Copy !req
384. - I'M TELLING YOU,
IT'S JUST NOT AN OPTION.Copy !req
385. - RON. FOCUS UP, BUDDY.Copy !req
386. - JUST GIVE ME A SEC.Copy !req
387. - WILL YOU JUST STOP
AND LISTEN TO ME?Copy !req
388. - FINE, I DON'T WANT TO TALK
TO YOU ANYWAYS.Copy !req
389. REVERSE PSYCHIATRY.Copy !req
390. - FINE.
WHAT?Copy !req
391. - I LIKE YOU.Copy !req
392. IN A, YOU KNOW,Copy !req
393. ROMANTICAL KIND OF WAY.Copy !req
394. - YOU DO?Copy !req
395. - YES!Copy !req
396. DO YOU...Copy !req
397. LIKE ME?Copy !req
398. - YES.Copy !req
399. - HA!Copy !req
400. SO THEN... PERHAPSCopy !req
401. SHALL WE GO OUT
THIS EVENING?Copy !req
402. - NO.Copy !req
403. - AHEM.Copy !req
404. - I DON'T THINK
WE SHOULD SEE EACH OTHER.Copy !req
405. DAMN IT.
BECAUSE YOU'RE 21Copy !req
406. AND I'M 29?Copy !req
407. - NO.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT.Copy !req
408. IT'S BECAUSE
WHENEVER I SEE YOU TALK TO ANNCopy !req
409. OR TALK ABOUT ANN,Copy !req
410. I FEEL LIKE YOU STILL
HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER.Copy !req
411. - WHAT? NO, I DON'T.
BUT I DON'T.Copy !req
412. REALLY. I DON'T.Copy !req
413. - WELL, I THINK YOU DO.Copy !req
414. SO...Copy !req
415. THAT'S A PROBLEM FOR ME.Copy !req
416. - BECAUSE OF MY
LIBERTARIAN BELIEFS,Copy !req
417. LESLIE DOES 95% OF THE WORK.Copy !req
418. SO YOU SHOULD LAY ME OFF.Copy !req
419. I'D BE PROUD
TO BE A CASUALTYCopy !req
420. IN THIS RIGHTEOUS WAR.Copy !req
421. - IT'S PRECISELY
BECAUSE OF YOUR BELIEFSCopy !req
422. THAT WE NEED TO KEEP YOU.Copy !req
423. YOU WOULD MAINTAIN
FISCAL RESPONSIBILITYCopy !req
424. AFTER WE'RE GONE.Copy !req
425. - I STRENUOUSLY OBJECT.Copy !req
426. - OKAY, WELL, RON,
WE'RE MOVING ON.Copy !req
427. EVERY DEPARTMENT'S LOSING
A LESLIE KNOPE.Copy !req
428. - NO, BEN, THEY ARE NOT.Copy !req
429. NO OTHER DEPARTMENT
HAS ONE TO BEGIN WITH.Copy !req
430. RIGHT NOW,
SHE'S SINGLE-HANDEDLYCopy !req
431. PUTTING UP SOME LOUSY CONCERTCopy !req
432. FOR THE CITY'S KIDS.Copy !req
433. - SHE'S DOING WHAT?Copy !req
434. - COULD SOMEONE ELSE
MASSAGE MY SHOULDERS?Copy !req
435. - WOW, LOOKING GOOD.Copy !req
436. - YEAH, I MEAN, I WISH WE'D
BUILT ONE OF THOSE ELEVATORSCopy !req
437. THAT COMES UP
FROM UNDER THE STAGE.Copy !req
438. - THEY'RE COMING!Copy !req
439. THEY'RE COMING.Copy !req
440. - OH!Copy !req
441. - UHH! THEY'RE COMING.Copy !req
442. - WHO, THE RUSSIANS?Copy !req
443. - NO, THE STATE AUDITORS.Copy !req
444. I ACCIDENTALLY TOLD THEM
WHAT YOU WERE DOINGCopy !req
445. IN AN ATTEMPT TO SAVE
SOME GOVERNMENT JOBS.Copy !req
446. IT'S BEEN A VERY STRANGE
DAY FOR ME.Copy !req
447. - OKAY, EVERYBODY BE COOL.
JUST BE COOL.Copy !req
448. - HEY!
- HEY.Copy !req
449. - HEY, HEY!
HEY.Copy !req
450. ALL RIGHT!
EVERYBODY!Copy !req
451. EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY.Copy !req
452. HEY, ANN PERKINS, HI.Copy !req
453. - HI.
- EVERYONE...Copy !req
454. YOU ARE ALL SUPER AMAZING.Copy !req
455. YOU ARE WHAT
MAKES PAWNEE GREAT,Copy !req
456. AND I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU
THAT I AM TOTALLY SUPPORTIVECopy !req
457. OF YOUR INSPIRING EFFORTS
HERE TODAY!Copy !req
458. - THAT, WE'LL TAKE.Copy !req
459. - YEAH! NOW MY PARTNER BEN
WANTS TO SAY SOMETHING.Copy !req
460. - YEAH, WE'RE
SHUTTING THIS DOWN.Copy !req
461. - DAMN!Copy !req
462. THAT'S TERRIBLE NEWS.Copy !req
463. SURELY THERE HAS TO BE
A SOLUTION, BEN.Copy !req
464. - NO.
- BEN SAYS NO.Copy !req
465. I'M SORRY, EVERYONE.Copy !req
466. - CHRIS AND I USED TO
SLASH BUDGETS INDIVIDUALLY.Copy !req
467. UH, WHEN HE WOULD DO IT
BY HIMSELF,Copy !req
468. NOTHING GOT DONE.Copy !req
469. AND WHEN I DID IT
BY MYSELF,Copy !req
470. I'D GET DEATH THREATS.Copy !req
471. TOGETHER, IT SEEMS TO WORK.Copy !req
472. THE CONCERT IS CANCELED,
EVERYBODY.Copy !req
473. - WELL, HERE'S THE THING,
THOUGH, BEN.Copy !req
474. IT'S NOT CANCELED.
WE'RE PUTTING IT ON.Copy !req
475. OKAY? BECAUSE THE STAGE
IS ALREADY BUILT.Copy !req
476. EVERYTHING WAS DONATED
FOR FREE BY LOCAL VENDORS.Copy !req
477. EVERYONE HERE BELIEVES
THAT WHAT WE'RE DOINGCopy !req
478. IS ESSENTIAL.Copy !req
479. FREDDY SPAGHETTI WILL SING.Copy !req
480. - ACTUALLY, LESLIE,
I JUST FOUND OUT...Copy !req
481. FREDDY SPAGHETTI AIN'T COMIN'.Copy !req
482. - FREDDY SPAGHETTI
MAY NOT SING.Copy !req
483. BUT SOMETHING MUCH COOLER
IS GOING TO HAPPEN.Copy !req
484. I THINK. ANN.Copy !req
485. - OKAY.Copy !req
486. - GOOD JOB.Copy !req
487. YOU SHOULD HYDRATE.Copy !req
488. - WHEN WE CANCELED ON HIM,Copy !req
489. HE TOOK ANOTHER GIG
IN EAGLETON.Copy !req
490. - AT A LIBRARY.Copy !req
491. - OHH!Copy !req
492. THAT'S LITERALLY THE WORST PLACE
I COULD IMAGINE.Copy !req
493. - OKAY, GUYS, WE'RE NOT
GIVING UP ON THIS.Copy !req
494. HE'S NOT THE ONLY MUSICIAN
IN TOWN.Copy !req
495. ANDY.Copy !req
496. I DON'T KNOW, LESLIE.Copy !req
497. I DON'T REALLY
FEEL LIKE PLAYING RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
498. - ANDY, PLEASE.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.Copy !req
499. - I DON'T EVEN
HAVE CHILDREN'S SONGS.Copy !req
500. MY LAST SONG I WROTE
WAS CALLED SEX HAIR.Copy !req
501. - WELL, JUST TAKE THE WORD SEX
AND CHANGE IT TO PICKLE.Copy !req
502. - PICKLE?Copy !req
503. - STILL SOUNDS LIKE
IT'S ABOUT SEX.Copy !req
504. - I'M IN. I GOTTA GRAB
MY GUITAR FROM MY HOUSE.Copy !req
505. I'LL BE BACK SHORTLY.
YEAH!Copy !req
506. - SEE, GUYS?
WE HAVE A SOLUTION.Copy !req
507. AND THE GOOD NEWS IS,
THERE'S ALWAYS A SOLUTIONCopy !req
508. IF YOUR MOTIVES ARE PURE
AND YOUR CAUSE IS JUST.Copy !req
509. THERE'S NOTHING...Copy !req
510. - OW, MY ARM!Copy !req
511. - YOU HAVE TWO BROKEN BONES
IN YOUR RIGHT ARM,Copy !req
512. AND FOUR IN YOUR HAND.Copy !req
513. - THAT'S THE SIDE THAT HURTS.Copy !req
514. - HOW SOON UNTIL HE'S BETTER?Copy !req
515. - WE'LL SET THE FRACTURES.Copy !req
516. I'D LIKE TO KEEP HIM OVERNIGHT
FOR OBSERVATION.Copy !req
517. - UH, IS THERE ANY CHANCE
YOU CAN FIX MECopy !req
518. IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES?Copy !req
519. - SURE.Copy !req
520. I'LL JUST ADVANCE
MEDICAL SCIENCE 30 YEARS.Copy !req
521. - GREAT.Copy !req
522. - CAN MOUSE RAT
PLAY WITHOUT YOU?Copy !req
523. - THEY TRIED ONCE.
THEY'RE CALLED RAT MOUSE.Copy !req
524. AND THEY'RE AWFUL.Copy !req
525. BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO FIND
SOMEBODY.Copy !req
526. THERE'S AN OLD SAYINGCopy !req
527. THE SHOW MUST GO WRONG.Copy !req
528. EVERYTHING ALWAYS GOES WRONG,Copy !req
529. AND YOU JUST
HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.Copy !req
530. - HELLO, PAWNEE.Copy !req
531. I'M... RENATA RICOTTA.Copy !req
532. FREDDY SPAGHETTI
COULDN'T MAKE IT TODAY.Copy !req
533. HE BUMPED HIS NOODLE.Copy !req
534. THERE WAS SAUCE EVERYWHERE.Copy !req
535. IT WAS JUST STREAMING
OUT OF HIS FACE.Copy !req
536. IT WAS REALLY SCARY.Copy !req
537. ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
538. HA HA HA HA!Copy !req
539. HEY, KIDS, IT'S ME,
FREDDY SPAGHETTI!Copy !req
540. - HEY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE
PLAYING IN EAGLETON.Copy !req
541. - ALL I KNOW
IS THIS GUY SHOWED UP,Copy !req
542. MADE ME A MUCH BETTER OFFER.Copy !req
543. I AM ALL ABOUT
THE MONEY, BABY.Copy !req
544. - THANK YOU VERY MUCH.Copy !req
545. - RON CORLEONE.Copy !req
546. - THIS REALLY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN
IS MY GIRLFRIEND, LUCY.Copy !req
547. - HELLO, LUCY.Copy !req
548. - HI.
- WHOA.Copy !req
549. IMPRESSIVE HANDSHAKE.Copy !req
550. - THANKS.Copy !req
551. MY FATHER TOLD ME
THAT A LIMP HANDSHAKECopy !req
552. WAS FOR WEAK MEN
AND COMMUNISTS.Copy !req
553. HE HATED BOTH.Copy !req
554. - WELL DONE, TOMMY.Copy !req
555. - IS THAT BACON
ON YOUR TURKEY LEG?Copy !req
556. - THEY CALL IT A SWANSON.Copy !req
557. - WOW.Copy !req
558. - FREDDY SPAGHETTI!Copy !req
559. - THAT GUY RULES.Copy !req
560. - I BROUGHT YOU
YOUR FAVORITE.Copy !req
561. EVERY COLOR OF JELL-O.Copy !req
562. - OH HO HA HO HO!Copy !req
563. THE JELL-O RAINBOW.Copy !req
564. THANK YOU.Copy !req
565. - IS SOMETHING WRONG?
- OH, OKAY.Copy !req
566. WELL, YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE JUST
ALREADY HAVING A BAD DAY,Copy !req
567. AND THEN YOU BREAK ALL THE BONES
IN YOUR ARMCopy !req
568. BECAUSE YOU CRASH
YOUR MOTORCYCLE?Copy !req
569. - DUDE, THAT'S WHAT
MY WHOLE WEEK HAS BEEN LIKE.Copy !req
570. MY LIFE IS A MOTORCYCLE CRASH
RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
571. - OH, NO.Copy !req
572. - OH, INJURED ANDY.Copy !req
573. IT'S KIND OF LIKE
OLD TIMES, HUH?Copy !req
574. - YEAH.Copy !req
575. - I ALMOST EXPECT YOU
TO CALL ME A-CAKES.Copy !req
576. - "A-CAKES."Copy !req
577. - WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE OKAY.Copy !req
578. - OH, MY GOD, I'M...Copy !req
579. - OHH.Copy !req
580. - I'M SO SORRY.
- OHH!Copy !req
581. - I SHOULD NOT—Copy !req
582. I—I'M SORRY.Copy !req
583. THAT WAS... NOT...Copy !req
584. SPAGHETTI!Copy !req
585. FUSILLI!Copy !req
586. EGG NOODLES!Copy !req
587. - WHY DID YOU DO THIS?Copy !req
588. - WELL, I'M NOT A MONSTER.Copy !req
589. I WANT THE KIDS
TO HAVE THEIR CONCERT.Copy !req
590. - AH, MEAN BEN
HAS A SOFT SPOT.Copy !req
591. - IS THAT
WHAT YOU GUYS CALL ME?Copy !req
592. "MEAN BEN"?
- NO, NO, NO.Copy !req
593. - LOOK, THIS
IS REALLY GREAT TODAY.Copy !req
594. BUT...Copy !req
595. THERE'S GONNA BE
A LOT OF PAIN AHEAD, LESLIE.Copy !req
596. WE HAVE TO CUT 32% OF THE—Copy !req
597. - CAN YOU JUST STOP IT?
OKAY?Copy !req
598. JUST FOR ONE MOMENT,
ENJOY THE FACTCopy !req
599. THAT YOU PROVIDED
A SERVICE FOR PEOPLE,Copy !req
600. NOT A CUT.Copy !req
601. A SERVICE.Copy !req
602. AND THEY LOVE IT.Copy !req
603. - BIGGEST SERVICECopy !req
604. WAS GETTING YOU
TO STOP SINGING.Copy !req
605. - HEY.Copy !req
606. YOU WANNA GO TO ANN'S HOUSE?Copy !req
607. - SERIOUSLY?
- YEAH.Copy !req
608. - MOVE!Copy !req
609. - 'SCUSE ME.Copy !req
610. - HEY.
- APRIL.Copy !req
611. - I JUST HEARD.Copy !req
612. ARE YOU OKAY?Copy !req
613. - YEAH.
- OH, MY GOD.Copy !req
614. LISTEN, WHAT I SAID
THIS AFTERNOON WAS...Copy !req
615. STUPID.Copy !req
616. OKAY?Copy !req
617. I TOTALLY WANT
TO GO OUT WITH YOU.Copy !req
618. - GOOD.Copy !req
619. I WANT TO BE WITH YOU.Copy !req
620. - AH.Copy !req
621. - THAT WAS NICE.Copy !req
622. - THAT—YEAH.Copy !req
623. HERE'S JUST ONE THING,
REAL QUICK.Copy !req
624. I WANT TO BE TOTALLY
HONEST WITH YOU,Copy !req
625. BECAUSE I LIKE YOU SO MUCH.Copy !req
626. BUT, LIKE, TWO MINUTES AGO,Copy !req
627. ME AND ANN DID KISS.Copy !req
628. - WHAT?
- BUT HERE'S—Copy !req
629. NO, NO, NO.
UH, IT WAS CRAZY.Copy !req
630. SHE KISSED ME.Copy !req
631. - OKAY, BYE.
- WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?Copy !req
632. - BYE.
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. HEY.Copy !req
633. APRIL. APRIL!
- BYE.Copy !req
634. - DUDE, DON'T EVEN THINK
ABOUT KISSING ME.Copy !req
635. - [whistles If You're Happy
And You Know It]Copy !req
636. ANN PERKINS.Copy !req
637. CHRIS TRAEGER.Copy !req
638. TOM HAVERFORD.
WHO'S YOUR FRIEND?Copy !req
639. - AAH! WHAT THE HELL?
- GET OUT OF HERE, DUDE!Copy !req
640. - YOU GOT IT, TOM.Copy !req
641. - AND WHAT WAS YOUR
FAVORITE SONG, CHELSEA?Copy !req
642. - PENNE AND THE JETS.Copy !req
643. - ME TOO!Copy !req
644. - THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.Copy !req
645. WITH ALL THE PARKS CLOSED,
WE'VE BEEN GOING CRAZY.Copy !req
646. - OH, IT'S OUR PLEASURE.Copy !req
647. - COME ON.Copy !req
648. - YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST,
MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE,Copy !req
649. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT
GOVERNMENTCopy !req
650. IN THE BEST CITY
IN THE WORLD.Copy !req
651. - SUCK IT, PARIS, FRANCE.Copy !req
652. - WELL, I WOULD SAY
SEE YOU TOMORROW, BUT...Copy !req
653. - GREAT JOB.
- GOOD WORK, LESLIE.Copy !req
654. - BYE.
- BYE, LESLIE.Copy !req
655. - SEE YOU SOON, I HOPE.Copy !req
656. - I LIKED THIS A LOT BETTER
WHEN IT WAS A PIT.Copy !req
657. - IS THAT WEIRD?Copy !req
658. - I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU
MARK BRENDANA-QUITS.Copy !req
659. - DON'T EVER APOLOGIZE TO ME.Copy !req
660. - I'M SERIOUS.Copy !req
661. IF—IF EVERYONE
IN GOVERNMENT WERE LIKE YOU,Copy !req
662. THEN I WOULD PROBABLY
STILL WORK THERE.Copy !req
663. - I GOT YOU
A GOING AWAY PRESENT.Copy !req
664. - YOU DID?
- MM-HMM.Copy !req
665. - HERE.Copy !req
666. RED TAPE.Copy !req
667. - SO YOU'LL NEVER
FORGET YOUR ROOTS.Copy !req
668. - THAT'S REALLY NICE OF YOU.
- YEAH.Copy !req
669. - WELL, I HAVE SOMETHING
FOR YOU TOO.Copy !req
670. - YOU DO?Copy !req
671. - I, UM...Copy !req
672. SORT OF THREW TOGETHERCopy !req
673. SOME PLANS
FOR A FUTURE PARK.Copy !req
674. I COULDN'T FIT EVERYTHING IN
THAT YOU WANTED,Copy !req
675. LIKE THE ROLLER COASTER
OR THE SHARK TANK,Copy !req
676. BUT I THINK IT'S
A PRETTY GOOD START.Copy !req
677. - THANK YOU.Copy !req
678. - YOU'RE REALLY WELCOME.Copy !req
679. - BUT, YOU KNOW,
PAWNEE'S BANKRUPT.Copy !req
680. I DOUBT I'LL GET TO BUILD
A PARK ANYTIME SOON.Copy !req
681. - I WOULDN'T BET AGAINST YOU.Copy !req
682. SEE YOU AROUND.
- MM-HMM.Copy !req
683. - MORNING.Copy !req
684. - HI. WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?Copy !req
685. - RON MADE ME THE OFFICIAL
PARKS AND REC REPRESENTATIVECopy !req
686. FOR THE BUDGET DISCUSSIONS.Copy !req
687. - THAT'S ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE—
- ESSENTIAL PERSONNEL?Copy !req
688. - YEAH.
- YEAH.Copy !req
689. SO SHALL WE GET STARTED?
I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS.Copy !req
690. - IS THIS AN AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE
OF JAMIE FOXX?Copy !req
691. - OH, THERE IT IS.
THANK GOD.Copy !req
692. - SO HOW LONG
IS THIS SHUTDOWN GONNA LAST?Copy !req
693. - NO IDEA.Copy !req
694. I MIGHT HAVE TO GET
A TEMP JOB.Copy !req
695. OR MAYBE I SHOULD START
WORKING ON MY COLOGNE LINE.Copy !req
696. - UH-OH. CHECK IT OUT.Copy !req
697. WHENEVER RON HAS SEX,
THE NEXT MORNING,Copy !req
698. HE COMES IN DRESSED
LIKE TIGER WOODS.Copy !req
699. - YOU ALL SET?Copy !req
700. - OH, GOD.Copy !req
701. - WHAT?
WHO IS THAT?Copy !req
702. THAT IS MY EX-WIFE.Copy !req