1. - LESLIE.
- WHAT'S UP, RON?Copy !req
2. - I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO GO UPCopy !req
3. TO THE BUREAU OF MOTOR VEHICLES
ON THE FOURTH FLOOR.Copy !req
4. WE GOT TO TALK OURSELVES OUTCopy !req
5. OF THIS LATE REGISTRATION FEECopy !req
6. FOR THE PARKS VAN.Copy !req
7. - COME ON.Copy !req
8. I DON'T WANT TO GO
TO THE FOURTH FLOOR.Copy !req
9. THAT IS THE CREEPIEST PLACE
ON EARTH.Copy !req
10. THE FOURTH FLOOR IS AWFUL—Copy !req
11. THE DMV, DIVORCE FILINGS,Copy !req
12. PROBATION OFFICES.Copy !req
13. UGH.Copy !req
14. THEY PUT
A POPCORN MACHINE UP THERECopy !req
15. JUST TO BRIGHTEN THINGS UP,Copy !req
16. BUT THEY USED
THE WRONG KIND OF OILCopy !req
17. AND A BUNCH OF PEOPLECopy !req
18. HAD TO GET
THEIR THROATS REPLACED.Copy !req
19. - THEY'LL ONLY TALK
TO YOU OR ME,Copy !req
20. AND I CAN'T GO.Copy !req
21. BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO.Copy !req
22. OKAY.Copy !req
23. UGH.Copy !req
24. - HEY, BOO, YOU'RE PRETTY.Copy !req
25. - THANK YOU, SIR.Copy !req
26. - ARE YOU ON PROBATION?Copy !req
27. I GOT CLEAN URINE.Copy !req
28. YOU NEED FEMALE,
I GOT FEMALE.Copy !req
29. - I'M GOOD. THANK YOU.Copy !req
30. - HEY, YOU CLEAN?
I BUY TOO.Copy !req
31. - TOM AND WENDY?Copy !req
32. - POPCORN?
- AAH!Copy !req
33. - SO, TOM, HOW'S EVERYTHINGCopy !req
34. IN YOUR LIFE, GENERALLY?Copy !req
35. - AMAZING.Copy !req
36. TOOK A RISK,
BOUGHT SOME SHOES ONLINE.Copy !req
37. PAID OFF HANDSOMELY,
AS YOU CAN SEE.Copy !req
38. - UH-HUH.Copy !req
39. AND HOW ARE YOUR INSTITUTIONSCopy !req
40. THAT YOU'RE A PART OF?Copy !req
41. - AH, YOU HEARD
ABOUT MY DIVORCE?Copy !req
42. - I SAW YOU
ON THE FOURTH FLOOR.Copy !req
43. I'M SO, SO SORRY.Copy !req
44. - HONESTLY, IT'S FINE.Copy !req
45. LASTED LONGER
THAN AVRIL LAVIGNECopy !req
46. AND THE GUY FROM SUM 41.
AM I RIGHT?Copy !req
47. - I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THOSE ARE.Copy !req
48. LOOK, TOM, STOP WORKING.Copy !req
49. - WHA—?Copy !req
50. WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE
TO HAVE SAVED THAT.Copy !req
51. - YOU SHOULD HAVE
AUTO-SAVED THAT.Copy !req
52. THAT KIND OF FEELS
LIKE YOUR FAULT.Copy !req
53. LOOK, I'VE HEARD YOUR VOICECopy !req
54. WHEN SHE CALLS YOU
ON THE PHONE.Copy !req
55. I'VE SEEN YOU LOOK AT HER ASSCopy !req
56. WHEN SHE LEAVES THE ROOM.Copy !req
57. YOU LOVE HER.Copy !req
58. - LESLIE, I REALLY APPRECIATECopy !req
59. WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO,Copy !req
60. BUT I'M FINE.Copy !req
61. LOOK.
LOOK AT MY FACE.Copy !req
62. ARE YOU WATCHING?Copy !req
63. - I DID A LITTLE RESEARCH,Copy !req
64. AND DIVORCE IS THE NUMBER TWO
MOST STRESSFUL EVENTCopy !req
65. IN A PERSON'S LIFE.Copy !req
66. OF COURSE MARRIAGE
IS NUMBER SEVEN.Copy !req
67. SO WATCH OUT, EVERYONE.Copy !req
68. IT'S ALL BAD.Copy !req
69. - WE HAVE TO STEP UP.Copy !req
70. FOR TOM'S SAKE.Copy !req
71. - I THINK TOM SEEMS FINE.Copy !req
72. - WELL, THAT IS THE PROBLEM.Copy !req
73. TOM ALWAYS SEEMS LIKE
MR. SLICKSTER COOL GUY,Copy !req
74. BUT HE'S ACTUALLY
HIDING HIS EMOTIONSCopy !req
75. UNDERNEATH A VERY THICK LAYERCopy !req
76. OF AXE BODY SPRAY.Copy !req
77. WE HAVE TO HELP HIM.Copy !req
78. WE ARE HIS SAFE BUBBLE.Copy !req
79. - SHE'S KIND OF RIGHT.Copy !req
80. NONE OF HIS FAMILY LIVES HERE,Copy !req
81. AND ALL OF HIS FRIENDSCopy !req
82. ARE FRAT GUYS AND MORONS.Copy !req
83. - THIS SEEMS LIKE
NONE OF OUR BUSINESS.Copy !req
84. - BE SUPPORTIVE, OKAY?Copy !req
85. DON'T BE ALL LIKE,Copy !req
86. "NO, I DON'T WANT TO.Copy !req
87. "I AM A GUY,
AND I LIKE FIRECopy !req
88. "AND PLAYING HOCKEY
AND EATING MEAT.Copy !req
89. NO, NO, SAYS I."Copy !req
90. - THAT WAS A REALLY GOOD RON.Copy !req
91. - THANK YOU.Copy !req
92. - I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN—Copy !req
93. - HEY, MARK.
- HI.Copy !req
94. - THE SHOESHINE STANDCopy !req
95. STILL DOESN'T HAVE
THAT SYPHILIS MEDICATIONCopy !req
96. YOU WERE ASKING ABOUT.Copy !req
97. ANN.Copy !req
98. HEY.Copy !req
99. WHAT A COINCIDENCE.Copy !req
100. ARE YOU IN THIS OFFICECopy !req
101. PURELY FOR BUSINESS REASONS?Copy !req
102. - PLEASURE, ACTUALLY.Copy !req
103. MY BOYFRIEND, MARK,
WORKS HERE.Copy !req
104. HE'S SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME.Copy !req
105. - HEY, ANDY.Copy !req
106. WHAT A SURPRISE, UH,Copy !req
107. RUNNING INTO YOUCopy !req
108. ALL DAY EVERY DAYCopy !req
109. EVERY SINGLE PLACE
THAT WE ARE.Copy !req
110. - LIKEWISE.Copy !req
111. WELL, I GUESS I'LL
SEE YOU GUYS AROUND.Copy !req
112. - SEE YA.
- OH, UH, ALSO,Copy !req
113. MARK, AGAIN, WE DON'T HAVECopy !req
114. THOSE EXTRA-SMALL
CONDOMS YOU ORDERED.Copy !req
115. I CALLED THE FACTORY.Copy !req
116. IT'S GONNA TAKE
A SPECIAL ORDER.Copy !req
117. NOT JUST BECAUSE OF THE SIZE,Copy !req
118. BUT BECAUSE OF
THE WEIRD SHAPE AS WELL.Copy !req
119. SOMETHING THEY'VE
NEVER DEALT WITH BEFORE.Copy !req
120. WE'LL TALK.Copy !req
121. MARK NEVER ASKED MECopy !req
122. FOR ANY SMALL,
WEIRDLY-SHAPED CONDOMS.Copy !req
123. I MADE THAT UP.Copy !req
124. EVERY DAY I SUBTLY CHIP AWAY
AT THEIR RELATIONSHIP,Copy !req
125. WEAKENING IT LITTLE BY LITTLE.Copy !req
126. - WHERE'S TOM HAVERFORD?Copy !req
127. FOR SAKE.Copy !req
128. - I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, MAN.Copy !req
129. I CAN'T BE LIKE,
"HEY, LESLIE,Copy !req
130. IT'S A GREEN-CARD MARRIAGE.
I'M FINE."Copy !req
131. - YOU KNOW, LESLIE JUST THINKS
YOU'RE A WOUNDED ANIMAL,Copy !req
132. SO HER FEMALE INSTINCTS
ARE KICKING IN.Copy !req
133. HERE'S WHAT YOU DO.Copy !req
134. ACT SAD.Copy !req
135. LET HER PULL THE THORN
OUT OF YOUR PAWCopy !req
136. AND WRAP A BANDAGE AROUND IT.Copy !req
137. THAT'LL MAKE HER FEEL BETTER.Copy !req
138. SHE'LL GET OFF YOUR JOCK.Copy !req
139. - YOU STILL CAN'T TELL ANYONECopy !req
140. ABOUT THE GREEN CARD THING.Copy !req
141. APPARENTLY
YOU CAN GET IN TROUBLECopy !req
142. EVEN AFTER DIVORCE.Copy !req
143. - DAMN THE MAN.Copy !req
144. WELL, HEY,
YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME.Copy !req
145. - THANKS, RONDOLEEZZA RICE.Copy !req
146. OKAY, EVERYONE,
THE RUMORS ARE TRUE.Copy !req
147. WENDY AND I ARE SPLITTING UP.Copy !req
148. YEAH, I'M REALLY HURT.Copy !req
149. - I'M SO SORRYCopy !req
150. YOU FEEL THAT WAY,
LITTLE FRIEND.Copy !req
151. WHY DON'T WE GO OUT TONIGHT,Copy !req
152. HIT THE TOWN AFTER WORK, HUH?Copy !req
153. WE'LL MAKE IT TOM'S NIGHT.Copy !req
154. YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT.
OUR TREAT.Copy !req
155. OH, I KNOW THERE'S
A REALLY FUN DOCUMENTARYCopy !req
156. ABOUT TANDEM BICYCLES
AT THE ART HOUSE.Copy !req
157. SUPPOSED TO BE
PRETTY UNAPOLOGETIC.Copy !req
158. OR WE COULD GO
TO A RESTAURANT.Copy !req
159. - STRIP CLUB?Copy !req
160. DID SOMEBODY SAY STRIP CLUB?
- NO.Copy !req
161. - DID SOMEBODY SAY STRIP CLUB?
- YOU DID.Copy !req
162. - I DEFINITELY HEARD
SOMEONE SAY STRIP CLUB.Copy !req
163. - YOU JUST DID.Copy !req
164. - WOULD THE GLITTER FACTORYCopy !req
165. BE OKAY WITH WHOEVER
SUGGESTED STRIP CLUB?Copy !req
166. - I DON'T THINK
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, TOM.Copy !req
167. - THERE IS A GREATCopy !req
168. DINOSAUR-THEMED RESTAURANT
IN PATTERSON.Copy !req
169. IT IS CALLED JURASSIC FORK.Copy !req
170. I HAVE GONE THERE
THREE TIMES A WEEKCopy !req
171. FOR THE LAST 15 YEARS.Copy !req
172. - OOH, DINOSAURS, HUH?Copy !req
173. - ALL RIGHT.
SOUNDS OKAY.Copy !req
174. - OKAY! IT'S GONNA BE
A CRAZY NIGHT, GUYS.Copy !req
175. I WILL SEE YOU
AT JURASSIC FORKCopy !req
176. AT 5:45 p.m.Copy !req
177. - YES.Copy !req
178. - HI,
WELCOME TO JURASSIC FORKCopy !req
179. WHERE THE ONLY THING
THAT'LL BE EXTINCTCopy !req
180. IS YOUR APPETITE.Copy !req
181. YOU READY TO ORDER?Copy !req
182. I WILL HAVE THE JAMAICAN
JERK CHICKEN VELOCI-WRAP.Copy !req
183. - I'M GONNA GET THE
TRICERA-CHOPS, PLEASE.Copy !req
184. - HOW DO YOU WANT THAT COOKED?Copy !req
185. - MEDIUM ROAR.Copy !req
186. - MEDIUM RARE?Copy !req
187. - NO, MEDIUM ROAR.Copy !req
188. - FOR LEGAL REASONS,Copy !req
189. WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE PUNSCopy !req
190. ABOUT THE TEMPERATURE
OF THE MEATS ANYMORE.Copy !req
191. - I'LL HAVE
THE SURF AND TURF-OSAURUS,Copy !req
192. AND A COUPLE
OF BOTTLES OF WINE?Copy !req
193. I'M GONNA NEED A LOT OF WINE,Copy !req
194. SO KEEP IT FLOWING.Copy !req
195. - I'M NOT GONNA BE
DRINKING ANYTHING.Copy !req
196. JUST WANTED EVERYBODY
TO KNOW THAT.Copy !req
197. I'M NOT A BIG FAN
OF GROUP DINNERSCopy !req
198. WHERE EVERYBODY SPLITS THE BILLCopy !req
199. NO MATTER WHAT THEY GET.Copy !req
200. I ORDERED
A TYRANNO-CEASAR SALAD,Copy !req
201. AND THAT'S ALL I'M PAYING FOR.Copy !req
202. - HEY, CHECK IT OUT.Copy !req
203. THEY GOT POOL.Copy !req
204. MARK, YOU WANT
TO PLAY A QUICK GAME?Copy !req
205. FINALLY SETTLE THAT DEBATECopy !req
206. ABOUT WHO'S
THE BETTER POOL PLAYER.Copy !req
207. - I'VE NEVER HAD THAT DEBATE
WITH ANYONE, ANDY.Copy !req
208. - COME ON, WE'LL PUT
A LITTLE MONEY ON IT.Copy !req
209. MAKE IT A LITTLE
MORE INTERESTING.Copy !req
210. - ANDY, PLEASE.Copy !req
211. - NO, I JUST FIGURED BECAUSE
POOL IS ALL ABOUT ANGLES,Copy !req
212. AND HE'S A FAILED ARCHITECT,Copy !req
213. THAT HE MIGHT
WANT TO PLAY POOL.Copy !req
214. - LET'S DO IT.Copy !req
215. - REALLY? THAT WORKED?Copy !req
216. - HOW TO HUSTLE SOMEBODY IN POOLCopy !req
217. BY ANDY DWYER.Copy !req
218. STEP ONE, FIND THE PERSON
YOU WANT TO HUSTLE.Copy !req
219. INVITE THEM TO PLAY POOL.Copy !req
220. SHOULD THEY ACCEPT,Copy !req
221. YOU'RE IN.Copy !req
222. - HERE'S WHAT I THINK
WE SHOULD DO.Copy !req
223. EVERYONE SHOULD GO AROUNDCopy !req
224. AND SAY ONE THING
THAT THEY LOVE ABOUT TOM.Copy !req
225. - I'LL START.Copy !req
226. I REALLY WISH
I COULD HAVE YOUR BODY.Copy !req
227. - WHAT?Copy !req
228. - EW. LIKE, TIED UP, NAKED,
IN YOUR BASEMENT?Copy !req
229. - NO.Copy !req
230. NO, I MEAN,
YOU'RE IN GOOD SHAPE,Copy !req
231. AND YOU CAN EAT
WHATEVER YOU WANT.Copy !req
232. - WELL, THAT WAS WEIRD,
JERRY.Copy !req
233. ANN, YOU GO AHEAD.Copy !req
234. - I THINK TOM IS REALLY NICE.Copy !req
235. ALSO, IF YOU GUYS WANT TO
GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARDS,Copy !req
236. I'LL JUST DIVIDE IT UP MYSELF.
I DON'T MIND.Copy !req
237. - OH, MY GOD,
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.Copy !req
238. THE RESTAURANT'LL
JUST DIVIDE IT EVENLY.Copy !req
239. JUST ENJOY YOURSELF.
APRIL, GO AHEAD.Copy !req
240. - TOM IS THE ONLY COOL PERSON
IN THE OFFICE.Copy !req
241. - RIDICULOUS. DONNA?Copy !req
242. - I LOVE YOU, TOM.Copy !req
243. YOU'RE MY LITTLE PRINCE.Copy !req
244. JUST WANT TO PUT YOU
IN A LITTLE CAPECopy !req
245. AND A LITTLE HATCopy !req
246. AND JUST FLY YOU AROUND.Copy !req
247. - THANK YOU, DONNA.Copy !req
248. HEY, GARCON?Copy !req
249. I'M STILL FEELING PRETTY SAD.Copy !req
250. CAN I GET TWO CREME BRULÉESCopy !req
251. AND ANOTHER GLASS
OF "BRONTO" GRIGIO?Copy !req
252. - I THOUGHT I HAD TOM
ALL FIGURED OUT,Copy !req
253. BUT IT'S ALMOST LIKE
HE'S FAKING BEING SAD.Copy !req
254. WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?Copy !req
255. - AND THAT'S GAME.Copy !req
256. I THINK YOU NOW OWE ME $25.Copy !req
257. - SHOOT.Copy !req
258. SOMEONE HAD A POOL TABLE
GROWING UP, HUH?Copy !req
259. HEY, NO, NO, WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE PLAY AGAIN?Copy !req
260. WE'LL MAKE IT
A LITTLE MORE INTERESTING.Copy !req
261. GO DOUBLE OR NOTHING?Copy !req
262. - WHY NOT?Copy !req
263. - STEP TWO, LOSE TO YOUR
OPPONENT INTENTIONALLY,Copy !req
264. SO THEY GAIN CONFIDENCE.Copy !req
265. STEP TWO HAS BEEN COMPLETED.
EASILY.Copy !req
266. VERY EASILY.Copy !req
267. MARK—MARK
IS PRETTY GOOD AT POOL.Copy !req
268. - SO HOW ARE YOU FEELING, TOM?Copy !req
269. ARE YOU FEELING OKAY?Copy !req
270. - I LIKE PRETENDING TO BE SAD.Copy !req
271. I NOW SEE WHY GIRLS DO IT.Copy !req
272. - SO YOUR ARRANGEMENT
WITH WENDY,Copy !req
273. IT REALLY WAS
COMPLETELY PLATONIC?Copy !req
274. - YEAH, NEVER SO MUCH
AS EVEN KISSED.Copy !req
275. EXCEPT FOR A LITTLE PECKCopy !req
276. AT THE WEDDING CEREMONY
FOR APPEARANCES.Copy !req
277. - UH, NOW THAT YOU'RE
GETTING DIVORCED,Copy !req
278. I SORT OF FEEL LIKE
THERE MAY BE SOME POTENTIALCopy !req
279. WITH ME AND WENDY.Copy !req
280. WOULD IT BE OKAY WITH YOUCopy !req
281. IF I WAS TO ASK HER OUTCopy !req
282. ONCE THE FAKE DUST SETTLES?Copy !req
283. - YEAH, UM, WHY NOT?
SURE.Copy !req
284. - LOOKING AT HER,Copy !req
285. I—I FEEL LIKE...Copy !req
286. SHE MIGHT BE THE PERFECT
SPOONING SIZE FOR ME.Copy !req
287. I'M GONNA TAKE A LEAK.Copy !req
288. - OH.Copy !req
289. THAT WOULD BE $6,400.Copy !req
290. I ACCEPT CHECKS
AND MOST MAJOR CREDIT CARDS.Copy !req
291. - YEAH.Copy !req
292. MARK IS WAY BETTER THAN ME.Copy !req
293. I'M GONNA...Copy !req
294. I'M GONNA SAY THAT THERE IS
AT LEAST A CHANCECopy !req
295. THAT I DIDN'T THINK
THIS THROUGH COMPLETELY.Copy !req
296. - I THINK I'M DONE, ANDY.Copy !req
297. - OKAY, FORGET MONEY.Copy !req
298. WE'LL PLAY FOR SOMETHING ELSE.Copy !req
299. - YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE
TO GIVE ME.Copy !req
300. - I HAVE A T-SHIRT
I TACKLED EDDIE VEDDER IN.Copy !req
301. IT'S LITERALLY PRICELESS.Copy !req
302. - OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS.Copy !req
303. IF YOU WIN,
YOU DON'T OWE ME ANY MONEY,Copy !req
304. BUT IF I WIN,Copy !req
305. YOU HAVE TO STOP BUGGING
ME AND ANN.Copy !req
306. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?Copy !req
307. - NO MORE COMMENTS.Copy !req
308. NO MORE SHOWING UP WHEN
WE'RE HANGING OUT TOGETHER.Copy !req
309. YOU HAVE TO LEAVE US ALONE.Copy !req
310. - THAT DOESN'T SEEM
LIKE A VERY FAIR BET, MARK.Copy !req
311. SO IF I WIN,Copy !req
312. I ALSO GET ANN.Copy !req
313. - OKAY, FINE.Copy !req
314. IF YOU WIN,Copy !req
315. THEN YOU GET ANN.Copy !req
316. RACK 'EM UP.Copy !req
317. - SOMEBODY PUNCH SOMEONE.Copy !req
318. - SO HOW YOU DOING, BUDDY?Copy !req
319. WANT SOME STEAK? CHAMPAGNE?Copy !req
320. THINK OF SOMETHING EXTRAVAGANTCopy !req
321. AND WE'LL GET IT FOR YOU.Copy !req
322. WHAT DO YOU WANT?
A CHEESE FOUNTAIN?Copy !req
323. A RUBY?Copy !req
324. A... GOOSE HEART?Copy !req
325. - HOW ABOUT A MARRIAGE?Copy !req
326. HOW ABOUT A NON-DIVORCE?Copy !req
327. - TOM, I'M SORRY.Copy !req
328. MAYBE YOU GUYS JUST NEED
SOME TIME APART, YOU KNOW,Copy !req
329. TO REMEMBER HOW MUCH
YOU CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER.Copy !req
330. - LESLIE, THINK ABOUT IT.Copy !req
331. DOES OUR MARRIAGE
REALLY MAKE SENSE TO YOU?Copy !req
332. SHE'S A TALL,
BEAUTIFUL SURGEON.Copy !req
333. I'M A SHORT,
BEAUTIFUL GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEECopy !req
334. SLASH CLUB PROMOTER.Copy !req
335. - YOU'RE A CLUB PROMOTER?Copy !req
336. - ASPIRING.Copy !req
337. THE POINT IS,Copy !req
338. I NEVER MEANT ANYTHING TO HER.Copy !req
339. IT WASN'T EVEN
A REAL MARRIAGE.Copy !req
340. - NOW THE SADNESS
IS POURING OUT OF TOM.Copy !req
341. LIKE BLOOD FROM A PTERODACTYLCopy !req
342. AFTER IT'S ATTACKED
BY A T. REX.Copy !req
343. I HAVE TO TAKE HIM TO A PLACECopy !req
344. WHERE HE CAN'T POSSIBLY BE SAD.Copy !req
345. OH, CRAP.Copy !req
346. WE ARE GOING
TO THE GLITTER FACTORY.Copy !req
347. - WHAT?
- NOT ME.Copy !req
348. I CAN'T GO BACK THERE.Copy !req
349. BUT IF YOU SEE JASMINE,Copy !req
350. TELL HER
SHE CAN KEEP ANTHONY,Copy !req
351. BUT I WANT MY MICROWAVE BACK.Copy !req
352. - OKAY. GOOD.Copy !req
353. YOU'RE GONNA TAKE APRIL HOME.Copy !req
354. - NO, I WANT TO GO
TO THE GLITTER FACTORY.Copy !req
355. - WELL, DROP OUT OF SCHOOLCopy !req
356. AND START DOING METH.Copy !req
357. LET'S GO, EVERYBODY.Copy !req
358. - LESLIE, I APPRECIATE
WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO,Copy !req
359. BUT ONCE YOU GO IN THERE,Copy !req
360. YOU WILL SEE THINGSCopy !req
361. YOU CANNOT UN-SEE.Copy !req
362. - I'M A FEMINIST, OKAY?Copy !req
363. I WOULD NEVER,
EVER GO TO A STRIP CLUB.Copy !req
364. I'VE GONE ON RECORD THAT IFCopy !req
365. I HAD TO HAVE
A STRIPPER'S NAME,Copy !req
366. IT WOULD BE EQUALITY.Copy !req
367. BUT I'M WILLING TO SACRIFICE
ALL THAT I'VE WORKED FORCopy !req
368. JUST TO PUT A SMILE ON
YOUR PERVERTED LITTLE FACE.Copy !req
369. SO DON'T BLOW THIS.Copy !req
370. - ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
371. - OKAY,
LAP DANCES ARE ON ME.Copy !req
372. I MEAN,
I'M PAYING FOR THEM.Copy !req
373. THEY'RE NOT GONNA
ACTUALLY BE ON ME.Copy !req
374. - GOT IT.Copy !req
375. - I KIND OF FEEL
LIKE JANE GOODALLCopy !req
376. STUDYING THE CHIMPS,
YOU KNOW?Copy !req
377. 'CAUSE THERE ARE
SOME FEMINIST SCHOLARSCopy !req
378. WHO SAY THAT STRIPPING
IS A FEMINIST ACT.Copy !req
379. - THERE IS A GIRL HERECopy !req
380. THAT ALSO WORKS AT QUIZNOS.Copy !req
381. SHE'S REALLY NICE TO ME HERECopy !req
382. BUT REALLY MEAN TO ME
AT QUIZNOS.Copy !req
383. - OKAY, TOM,Copy !req
384. GO PUT THESE IN PLACESCopy !req
385. I DO NOT APPROVE OF.Copy !req
386. - LESLIE, I'M GONNA
PUT THESE IN PLACESCopy !req
387. YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF.Copy !req
388. YEAH,
I'VE BEEN A LITTLE DOWN.Copy !req
389. TOTALLY NATURAL.
I'M GETTING DIVORCED.Copy !req
390. BUT NOW I'M READY TO PULL
MYSELF UP BY SOME G-STRINGS.Copy !req
391. - GOD, IT IS ROUGH IN HERE.Copy !req
392. IS IT ALWAYS LIKE THIS?Copy !req
393. - I WOULDN'T KNOW.Copy !req
394. DON'T LIKE STRIP CLUBS.Copy !req
395. SMELLS LIKE A WET MOP IN HERE.Copy !req
396. AND I GET THE FEELING
THAT EVERY ONE OF THESE WOMENCopy !req
397. IS RUNNING A LOW-GRADE FEVER.Copy !req
398. - YOU'RE ONE
OF THE GOOD ONES, RON.Copy !req
399. - WAIT A MINUTE.Copy !req
400. HELLO, BEAUTIFUL.Copy !req
401. - STRIPPERS DO NOTHING FOR ME.Copy !req
402. I LIKE A STRONG,
SALT OF THE EARTH,Copy !req
403. SELF-POSSESSED WOMAN
AT THE TOP OF HER FIELD,Copy !req
404. YOUR STEFFI GRAFS,
YOUR SHERYL SWOOPES.Copy !req
405. BUT I WILL TAKE
A FREE BREAKFAST BUFFETCopy !req
406. ANY TIME, ANY PLACE.Copy !req
407. TOM CAT.Copy !req
408. PULL UP A MOUTH.Copy !req
409. THIS BUFFET IS UNSTOPPABLE.Copy !req
410. - YEAH, I'M NOT HUNGRY.Copy !req
411. - BY THE WAY,
YOU'RE DOING A BANG-UP JOBCopy !req
412. OF LOOKING SAD ABOUT WENDY.Copy !req
413. DOES SHE MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS?Copy !req
414. - NO.Copy !req
415. - TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH.Copy !req
416. YOU ALREADY WON YOUR OSCAR,
DICAPRIO.Copy !req
417. - ANN, IN CASE
I DON'T SINK THIS,Copy !req
418. IT'S BEEN A REAL PLEASURE
DATING YOU.Copy !req
419. - HO!Copy !req
420. HA HA!Copy !req
421. HA!Copy !req
422. SCRATCH ON THE EIGHT!Copy !req
423. AHA!Copy !req
424. I'M VICTORIOUS.Copy !req
425. I'M AWESOME AT POOL,Copy !req
426. AND I HUSTLED YOUR ASS.Copy !req
427. ANN, TAKE A MOMENT
TO SAY GOOD-BYE.Copy !req
428. - I DON'T EVEN KNOW
HOW TO SAY THIS.Copy !req
429. I AM SO SORRY,Copy !req
430. AND I WILL DO MY BESTCopy !req
431. TO VISIT YOU ON HOLIDAYS.Copy !req
432. - THANKS. YOU TRIED.Copy !req
433. - I GUESS YOU'RE HIS NOW.Copy !req
434. - DO YOU WANT
TO GET OUT OF HERE?Copy !req
435. - I DO.
- OKAY.Copy !req
436. BYE, ANDY.Copy !req
437. - I KNOW THAT LEGALLYCopy !req
438. ANN IS NOW MINE,Copy !req
439. BUT IT WEIRDLY
DOESN'T FEEL THAT WAY.Copy !req
440. - ALL RIGHT, TOM,
THIS IS SEABISCUIT.Copy !req
441. - SIERRA.Copy !req
442. - SIERRA.
SORRY, IT'S LOUD IN HERE.Copy !req
443. AND, UM, I GAVE HER MONEYCopy !req
444. TO WRITHE AROUND
ON YOUR PARTS.Copy !req
445. - LESLIE,
I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.Copy !req
446. - WELL, I ALREADY PAID HER.Copy !req
447. CAN I GET MY MONEY BACK?Copy !req
448. OKAY, SO LET HER
DO HER WRITHING.Copy !req
449. I JUST GOT TO SAY, SIERRA,Copy !req
450. I REALLY DON'T GET WHY
THIS CHEERS MEN UP,Copy !req
451. BECAUSE IT'S VERY INSINCERE
AND IT'S VERY FLEETING,Copy !req
452. BUT GO CRAZY, OKAY?Copy !req
453. GIVE MY FRIEND HERE THE WORKS.Copy !req
454. REALLY GRIND
THE SORROW OUT OF HIM.Copy !req
455. - YOU GOT IT.Copy !req
456. - AND THEN AFTERWARDS,Copy !req
457. MAYBE RECONSIDER
YOUR PROFESSION,Copy !req
458. BUT FOR NOW, GRIND AWAY.Copy !req
459. WHOO!Copy !req
460. STRIPPER DANCING ACTION.Copy !req
461. - THIS ISN'T WORKING.
I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.Copy !req
462. - IS IT BECAUSE YOU HAVE
A STRONG, POSITIVE,Copy !req
463. FEMALE FIGURE WATCHING YOU?Copy !req
464. - NO,
IT'S BECAUSE I'M MISERABLE.Copy !req
465. - OKAY. NEVER MIND.Copy !req
466. THANK YOU, SEABISCUIT.Copy !req
467. THAT'LL BE ALL.Copy !req
468. TOM.Copy !req
469. - I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.Copy !req
470. THIS IS HONESTLY
THE SADDEST I'VE EVER BEEN.Copy !req
471. - GLITTER BOMB!Copy !req
472. - AH.Copy !req
473. I'VE BEEN
TO THE GLITTER FACTORYCopy !req
474. A MILLION TIMES.Copy !req
475. THAT GIRL UP THERE,Copy !req
476. SHE'S MY EMERGENCY CONTACT.Copy !req
477. BUT RIGHT NOW,Copy !req
478. I HATE IT HERE.Copy !req
479. AND I JUST WANT TO SEE WENDY.Copy !req
480. - TOM, IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL
TO FEEL DEVASTATEDCopy !req
481. WHEN SOMETHING'S OVER.Copy !req
482. IT'S EXACTLY HOW I FELTCopy !req
483. WHEN THAT PLANET EARTH
SERIES ENDED.Copy !req
484. - 60 DAYS!Copy !req
485. AND THEN SHE'S FREE
TO MARRY RON SWANSON.Copy !req
486. - WHAT? RON?Copy !req
487. - HE'S GONNA ASK HER OUT.Copy !req
488. HE TOLD ME.Copy !req
489. BUT WHO CARES?Copy !req
490. IF IT'S NOT HIM,Copy !req
491. IT'LL JUST BE SOME OTHER GUY.Copy !req
492. - SWANSON, DID YOU TELL TOMCopy !req
493. THAT YOU WERE GONNA
ASK OUT WENDY?Copy !req
494. - IT'S COMPLICATED.Copy !req
495. - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?Copy !req
496. I WISH I WASN'T ALIVE
TO HEAR MYSELF SAY THIS,Copy !req
497. BUT I AM ASHAMED
TO BE YOUR DEPUTY.Copy !req
498. I DON'T GET MEN.Copy !req
499. IF THEY'RE NOT WAGERING
THEIR GIRLFRIENDS IN POOL,Copy !req
500. THEN THEY'RE TRYING TO STEAL
EACH OTHER'S WIVES.Copy !req
501. IT MAKES YOU QUESTIONCopy !req
502. THE WHOLE NOTION
OF THOSE BROMANCE MOVIES.Copy !req
503. TOM!Copy !req
504. GREAT.Copy !req
505. GOOD. OKAY.Copy !req
506. COULD YOU CARRY HIM
OUT OF HERE PLEASE?Copy !req
507. AND, YOU KNOW, ALSO MAYBECopy !req
508. NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIS WIFE?Copy !req
509. THANKS.Copy !req
510. FROM THE KNEES.Copy !req
511. - HE WEIGHS EIGHT POUNDS.Copy !req
512. - OH, OH.Copy !req
513. OH, BOY.Copy !req
514. - HI, WENDY.Copy !req
515. WE TOOK TOM OUT TONIGHT,Copy !req
516. AND HE HAD A LITTLE BIT
TOO MUCH TO DRINK.Copy !req
517. - OH.Copy !req
518. OKAY, UM, COME ON IN.Copy !req
519. - OH, MY GOD.Copy !req
520. YOU INSENSITIVE LITTLE HUSSY.Copy !req
521. - EXCUSE ME?Copy !req
522. - LESLIE, WHOA. HALT.Copy !req
523. - YOU'RE NOT EVEN DIVORCED YETCopy !req
524. AND YOU'RE INVITING
OTHER MEN OVER?Copy !req
525. - YOU'RE MARRIED?Copy !req
526. - UH, TECHNICALLY, YEAH.Copy !req
527. THAT'S—THAT'S MY HUSBAND.Copy !req
528. - WHO'S HE CARRYING?Copy !req
529. - NO, NO, THAT'S—
THAT'S HIS BOSS.Copy !req
530. MY HUSBAND'S THE ONE THAT'S
BEING CARRIED.Copy !req
531. BY HIS BOSS.Copy !req
532. - HOW'S IT GOING?Copy !req
533. - GOOD.Copy !req
534. - YOU KNOW WHAT, WENDY?Copy !req
535. YOU AND RON WILL BE PERFECT
FOR EACH OTHER.Copy !req
536. YOU TWO SHOULD GET MARRIED
AND START A CLUBCopy !req
537. FOR PEOPLE WHO BETRAY
TOM HAVERFORD.Copy !req
538. YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME.Copy !req
539. - SO WHERE DO YOU WANT THIS?Copy !req
540. - SO HOW YOU FEELING?Copy !req
541. ROUGH MORNING?Copy !req
542. - YOU KNOW THOSE HANGOVER PILLSCopy !req
543. YOU CAN ORDER ON TV?Copy !req
544. - MM.Copy !req
545. - I THREW UP A BUNCH OF THEM
THIS MORNINGCopy !req
546. AND FEEL MUCH BETTER.Copy !req
547. - I KNOW LAST NIGHT
WAS REALLY ROUGH,Copy !req
548. BUT ALL I WANT FOR YOUCopy !req
549. IS TO BE ABLE
TO GET OVER THIS.Copy !req
550. - LESLIE, I NEED
TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.Copy !req
551. - OKAY.Copy !req
552. - UH, THE REASON
I WAS ACTING WEIRD YESTERDAYCopy !req
553. WAS WENDY AND I HAVE
A GREEN-CARD MARRIAGE.Copy !req
554. - OH, MY GOD,
BECAUSE YOU'RE LYBIAN.Copy !req
555. - NO, DAMN IT.
WENDY'S FROM CANADA.Copy !req
556. - OH. OH, OKAY.Copy !req
557. WAIT. START AGAIN?Copy !req
558. - UM, THIS—Copy !req
559. - ANN, MARK,
YOU GUYS GOT A SECOND?Copy !req
560. IT'S ABOUT LAST NIGHT.Copy !req
561. - I HOPE I'M NOT GONNA HAVE
TO EXPLAIN TO YOUCopy !req
562. THAT YOU DON'T
ACTUALLY OWN ME.Copy !req
563. - OF COURSE NOT.Copy !req
564. I NEVER FOR ONE SECONDCopy !req
565. THOUGHT THAT THAT
WAS FOR REAL.Copy !req
566. LOOK,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRYCopy !req
567. ABOUT ME
BOTHERING YOU ANYMORE.Copy !req
568. YOU CLEARLY HAVE
SOMETHING GOING,Copy !req
569. AND I SHOULD RESPECT THAT.Copy !req
570. - OKAY.Copy !req
571. IF YOU SAY "PSYCH" RIGHT NOW,Copy !req
572. I'M GONNA BE REALLY PISSED.Copy !req
573. - YOU REMEMBERED HOW MUCH
I LIKE TO SAY "PSYCH".Copy !req
574. BUT NO, NO, THIS IS NO PSYCH.Copy !req
575. - ANDY, THANK YOU
FOR SAYING ALL THAT JUST NOW.Copy !req
576. - SURE.Copy !req
577. GOODBYE, A-CAKES.Copy !req
578. HELLO, ANN.Copy !req
579. GOOD-BYE, ANN.Copy !req
580. - GOOD-BYE, ANDY.Copy !req
581. - OH.Copy !req
582. I THOUGHT FOR A SECONDCopy !req
583. YOU WERE GONNA
CHASE AFTER ME RIGHT THERE,Copy !req
584. BUT YOU DIDN'T,
AND THAT'S OKAY.Copy !req
585. I MEANT EVERY WORD I SAID.Copy !req
586. - OH, YOU LIKE YOUR WIFE?Copy !req
587. THAT'S A BUMMER.Copy !req
588. DOES ANYONE ELSE KNOW
THAT YOU LIKE YOUR WIFE?Copy !req
589. DOES YOUR WIFE KNOW
THAT YOU LIKE YOUR WIFE?Copy !req
590. - I DIDN'T KNOW UNTIL YESTERDAY.Copy !req
591. SO DON'T TELL ANYONE.Copy !req
592. DON'T TELL RON.Copy !req
593. IT'S MY PROBLEM.Copy !req
594. - HOW—HOW COULD THERE POSSIBLY
STILL BE GLITTER ON ME?Copy !req
595. - TAKES FOREVER TO GET OFF.Copy !req
596. MY CROTCH
LOOKS LIKE A DISCO BALL.Copy !req