1. - AND I'M, LIKE, WHAT?Copy !req
2. - IT'S PRETTY GREAT HAVING ANDY
WORKING IN THE BUILDING.Copy !req
3. THE GUY IS SO MUCH FUN.Copy !req
4. HIS NEW THING—
PIGGYBACK RIDES.Copy !req
5. ANYTIME YOU WANT.Copy !req
6. - PIGGYBACK! PIGGYBACK!Copy !req
7. MOVE!Copy !req
8. PIGGYBACK. BAM!
PIGGYBACK. BAM!Copy !req
9. MARK... BRENDANAWICZ!Copy !req
10. GIDDYUP! GIDDYUP!Copy !req
11. OH... COUNCILMAN HOWSER.
HELLO.Copy !req
12. - HELLO.
- DID YOU GET MY PROPOSALCopy !req
13. FOR THE POSSIBLE RE-ZONING
OF LOT 48?Copy !req
14. - I, UH, HAVE BEEN BUSY.Copy !req
15. - I KNOW, BUT I THINK
IT WOULD BE A REALLY GREAT THINGCopy !req
16. FOR THE NEIGHBORHOOD.Copy !req
17. - I DON'T DOUBT IT,
BUT IT'S REALLY A QUESTIONCopy !req
18. OF RESOURCE ALLOCATION.Copy !req
19. - AND I COMPLETELY
UNDERSTAND THAT.Copy !req
20. BUT YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT
IF WE WANT TO FIND THE MONEY,Copy !req
21. WE CAN.Copy !req
22. - I'M RUNNING LATE.Copy !req
23. - OH, I'LL WALK WITH YOU.Copy !req
24. SEE, THE THING IS, WHEN WE
ALLOCATE MONEY FOR PARKS...Copy !req
25. - JUST A REMINDER,
TOMORROW'S A HALF DAY.Copy !req
26. JERRY, MARK, AND I
HAVE TO CONDUCTCopy !req
27. THE ANNUAL TRAIL SURVEY
AT SLIPPERY ELM PARK.Copy !req
28. - RON, I HAD THE TRAIL
SURVEY HATS MADECopy !req
29. TO COMMEMORATE THE TRIP.Copy !req
30. - NICE, JERRY.Copy !req
31. OH, AND IF YOU HAVE
ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THE DETAILS,Copy !req
32. FEEL FREE TO SHOOT ME
AN EMAIL.Copy !req
33. - UGH, THE ONLY TRAILS
HE'S GONNA BE SURVEYINGCopy !req
34. ARE TRAILS OF LIES
AND DECEPTION.Copy !req
35. RON HAS A SPECIAL DEAL
WITH THE PARK RANGERS.Copy !req
36. EVERY NOVEMBER
THEY LET HIM USE THEIR CABINCopy !req
37. SO HE CAN GO
ON A SECRET HUNTING TRIPCopy !req
38. WITH ALL THE GUYS
IN THE OFFICE.Copy !req
39. - NOT ALL THE GUYS.
HE'S NEVER TAKEN ME.Copy !req
40. - FINE, ALL THE MEN.Copy !req
41. RON, LET'S CUT THE BULL.Copy !req
42. I WANT ME, TOM,
AND ALL THE OTHER LADIESCopy !req
43. INCLUDED ON YOUR HUNTING TRIP.Copy !req
44. - HUNTING TRIP?Copy !req
45. WE'RE DOING A TRAIL SURVEY,
LESLIE.Copy !req
46. - YOU'RE LITERALLY LISTENING
TO TURKEY CALLS.Copy !req
47. - OH, IS THIS—IS THIS NOT RAP?Copy !req
48. - COME ON.
- ALL RIGHT, LOOK.Copy !req
49. IT'S NOT JUST A HUNTING TRIP.Copy !req
50. IT'S A TRADITION.Copy !req
51. - I AM REALLY GOOD
AT HUNTING.Copy !req
52. AND I'M EVEN BETTER AT
BEING ONE OF THE GUYS.Copy !req
53. - WELL, IT'S A WORK EVENT,Copy !req
54. SO... LEGALLY I CAN'T STOP YOU
FROM COMING.Copy !req
55. - YES! THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUN!
I'LL BRING S'MORES.Copy !req
56. - AND JUST LIKE THAT,Copy !req
57. THE ONE TINY ASPECT
OF GOVERNMENT I ENJOYEDCopy !req
58. WAS CLUBBED TO DEATH
BEFORE MY EYES.Copy !req
59. - APRIL, I NEED YOU
TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME.Copy !req
60. I'M GOING HUNTING TOMORROW,Copy !req
61. SO CALL THE STATE PARKS OFFICE
AND GET VERBAL CONFIRMATIONCopy !req
62. THAT OUR BUDGET DOCUMENTATION
IS IN.Copy !req
63. CAN I JUST TELL YOU
THE 16-DIGIT TRACKING NUMBER,Copy !req
64. OR DO YOU WANT ME TO
WRITE IT DOWN?Copy !req
65. I'LL WRITE IT DOWN.
CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?Copy !req
66. - YOU WANT ME TO DIAL A NUMBER,Copy !req
67. AND THEN READ ANOTHER NUMBER
OUT LOUD?Copy !req
68. - YES.
CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?Copy !req
69. - NO.Copy !req
70. - WELL, TRY. OKAY?Copy !req
71. AND IF YOU DO IT,Copy !req
72. I WILL NAME THE FIRST TURKEY
I SHOOT AFTER YOU.Copy !req
73. - COOL.Copy !req
74. - ANN, READY TO BAG
SOME BIRDS?Copy !req
75. - NO, BUT I AM READY TO RELAX
BY THE FIRECopy !req
76. AND GET MY
REAL SIMPLE MAGAZINE ON.Copy !req
77. - WELL, IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND,
YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLYCopy !req
78. A LICENSED INDIANA HUNTER.Copy !req
79. - OH. GROSS.Copy !req
80. - HELLO, YOU HAVE REACHED THE
INDIANA STATE PARKS DEPARTMENT.Copy !req
81. YOUR CALL
IS VERY IMPORTANT TO US.Copy !req
82. PLEASE STAY ON THE LINE.Copy !req
83. - HERE WE GO.
- HERE WE ARE.Copy !req
84. - OH, THERE'S RON.
- THERE HE IS.Copy !req
85. - OH, IT'S PRETTY!
I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE GROSS.Copy !req
86. - YEAH!Copy !req
87. HOLY COW.
RON, IT IS GOOD TO BE BACK!Copy !req
88. - SNEAK ATTACK!Copy !req
89. - DAMN IT!
- I'M THE PANTS KING!Copy !req
90. BOW TO ME.
- BOW. I BOW.Copy !req
91. - AAH!
I'M THE PANTS QUEEN!Copy !req
92. - WHAT THE HELL!Copy !req
93. - BOW TO THE PANTS QUEEN.Copy !req
94. WHEN YOU'RE OUT WITH THE BOYS,
YOU GOTTA BE READYCopy !req
95. FOR A GOOD PANTSING.Copy !req
96. THAT'S WHY I HAVE SUSPENDERS
THAT CONNECT MY BRA TO MY JEANS.Copy !req
97. - RON "P. DIDDY" COMBS.Copy !req
98. I HAVE TO ADMIT,
THIS PLACE IS PRETTY TIGHT.Copy !req
99. - YEAH.Copy !req
100. - MAY I INTEREST ANYONE
IN SOME CHEW?Copy !req
101. - NICE TOUCH, HAVERFORD.Copy !req
102. - LET ME GET SOME OF THAT.Copy !req
103. - YOU SURE?
- UH, YEAH.Copy !req
104. - I WOULD NOT HAVE PEGGED YOU
AS A USER OF MOUTH TOBACCO.Copy !req
105. - MM, I'M FULL OF SURPRISES,
RON.Copy !req
106. - OH, MAN, MY STOMACH'S
A LITTLE UPSET.Copy !req
107. I FEEL A LITTLE QUEASY.Copy !req
108. - THAT MIGHT BE THE CHEW.
YOU COULD SPIT IT OUT.Copy !req
109. - I SWALLOWED IT.Copy !req
110. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SWALLOW IT,
RIGHT?Copy !req
111. - NO.Copy !req
112. - ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
113. - POOR LITTLE BUDDY.Copy !req
114. - THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT CHEW
AND NOT SWALLOW.Copy !req
115. AM I RIGHT, RON?
- YES, YOU ARE RIGHT.Copy !req
116. - ALL RIGHT, SAFETY BASICS.Copy !req
117. DONNA, CAN YOU TELL ME
WHY IT'S BADCopy !req
118. TO LOOK DOWN THE BARREL
OF YOUR GUN?Copy !req
119. - IS THAT A TRICK QUESTION?Copy !req
120. - NO, DONNA, DON'T!
PLEASE.Copy !req
121. - RULE NUMBER ONE,
DO NOT POINT THE WEAPONCopy !req
122. AT A PERSON.Copy !req
123. THAT INCLUDES
YOUR OWN FACE, DONNA.Copy !req
124. NOW, EVERY YEAR BEFORE WE GO
ON OUR FIRST HUNT,Copy !req
125. WE DO A TOAST,
SO GRAB A BEER.Copy !req
126. TO THE HUNT.Copy !req
127. - HEAR, HEAR!Copy !req
128. - AND TO THE HUNTERS.Copy !req
129. THE ONLY WAY
TO DEFEAT THE BEASTCopy !req
130. IS TO FIND THE BEAST WITHIN.Copy !req
131. - PRETTY GOOD. HEAR, HEAR!
- HEAR, HEAR!Copy !req
132. - RIGHT ON!
- RON, YOUR TOAST SUCKED.Copy !req
133. - THE TRADITIONAL TOAST IS
"TO THE HUNT."Copy !req
134. AND IT IS SAID BY ME.
YOU ALL SET, MARK?Copy !req
135. - OH, YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING
MAYBE WE COULD DO MIXED DOUBLES.Copy !req
136. YOU KNOW, BOY/GIRL,
BOY/GIRL.Copy !req
137. - LESLIE, YOU SAID THAT
WE WERE GONNA HUNT TOGETHER.Copy !req
138. - OH, ANN, I ALWAYS FORGET
BECAUSE YOU'RE SO PRETTYCopy !req
139. YOU'RE NOT USED TO REJECTION.Copy !req
140. - I HAVE TO HUNT WITH RON.Copy !req
141. - ANN, WE'LL GO TOGETHER.
- PERFECT.Copy !req
142. ALL RIGHT, I HOPE
YOU'RE READY TO DISCUSSCopy !req
143. SOME COLLEGE BOWL GAME
SCENARIOS.Copy !req
144. - HMM. BULLY.Copy !req
145. - ANDY. ANDY!Copy !req
146. CAN YOU COME HERE, PLEASE?
- YEAH. WHAT'S UP?Copy !req
147. - I'VE BEEN ON HOLD FOR,
LIKE, AN HOUR.Copy !req
148. I REALLY HAVE TO PEE.Copy !req
149. CAN YOU JUST SIT HERE
FOR TWO SECONDSCopy !req
150. AND JUST LISTEN, PLEASE?Copy !req
151. - YES.
- PLEASE? GREAT.Copy !req
152. AND IF THEY ANSWER, CAN YOU JUST
READ THOSE NUMBERS OUT LOUD?Copy !req
153. - YEAH.
- OKAY, THANKS.Copy !req
154. GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE!Copy !req
155. NOW HERE'S THE FEMALE
ADOLESCENT TURKEY.Copy !req
156. COULD YOU HEAR THE DIFFERENCE?
- NO.Copy !req
157. THE TURKEYS CAN.Copy !req
158. - BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA!Copy !req
159. - BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA!Copy !req
160. - BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA!Copy !req
161. - WE DO THAT THE FIRST TIME
ONE OF US HITS SOMETHING.Copy !req
162. - OH, COOL.
BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA!Copy !req
163. - NO, NO. YOU MISSED IT.Copy !req
164. - LOOK, RON, I KNOW
THIS WEEKEND YOU WERECopy !req
165. LOOKING FORWARD TO A LOT
OF MAN ON MAN ON MAN ACTION,Copy !req
166. BUT I JUST WANTED TO SAY
I'M VERY GRATEFULCopy !req
167. THAT YOU LET ME COME ALONG
ON THIS TRIP.Copy !req
168. - THAT'S FINE.Copy !req
169. I'M JUST GLAD YOU DIDN'T
END UP INVITINGCopy !req
170. MORE OF THE MOTOR—Copy !req
171. WHAT THE?Copy !req
172. WHAT THE HELL?
GIVE ME SOME WARNING.Copy !req
173. - I SAW A QUAIL.Copy !req
174. SORRY, MAN.
YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOOSE.Copy !req
175. BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA!Copy !req
176. - BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA!Copy !req
177. - I THINK THIS IS GONNA BE
A REALLY GOOD BONDING SESHCopy !req
178. FOR ME AND RON.Copy !req
179. GUYS LOVE IT WHEN
YOU CAN SHOW THEMCopy !req
180. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THEY ARE
AT SOMETHING THEY LOVE.Copy !req
181. - HEY, CHECK THIS OUT.Copy !req
182. - NICE.
- YEAH.Copy !req
183. THEY DIDN'T ANSWER,
OBVIOUSLY.Copy !req
184. WHERE IS EVERYONE?Copy !req
185. - HUNTING TRIP.
- HUNTING TRIP?Copy !req
186. DID MARK GO?Copy !req
187. - YEAH.
- THAT'S COOL.Copy !req
188. AT LEAST HE'S NOT
WITH ANN.Copy !req
189. - NO, ANN'S THERE.
- GOD!Copy !req
190. HOW COME HE GETS TO DO
ALL THE THINGS I WANT TO DO?Copy !req
191. GO HUNTING... ANN...Copy !req
192. - MAYBE A DEER WILL EAT HIM.Copy !req
193. THAT'D BE REALLY AWESOME,Copy !req
194. BUT I DON'T THINK
THAT WILL HAPPEN, PROBABLY.Copy !req
195. - YOU SURPRISED THAT
MY BREASTSCopy !req
196. DIDN'T THROW MY AIM OFF?Copy !req
197. - LESLIE, PLEASE.Copy !req
198. I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE A GIRL,
I JUST DON'T LIKE CHANGE.Copy !req
199. I LIKE GOING TO THE SAME PLACE
WITH THE SAME PEOPLE,Copy !req
200. TELLING THE SAME STORIES,Copy !req
201. AND SEEING WHO CAN BAG
THE MOST TURKEYS.Copy !req
202. - WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE
YOU LIKE TO GO HUNTINGCopy !req
203. WITH THE SAME PEOPLE BECAUSE
YOU KNOW YOU CAN BEAT 'EM.Copy !req
204. 100 BUCKS SAYS I BAG
MORE BIRDS THAN YOU.Copy !req
205. - YOU'RE ON.Copy !req
206. LET'S SPLIT UP.
I DO IT BETTER ALONE.Copy !req
207. - YEAH, YOU DO. SEE?
JUST ONE OF THE GUYS.Copy !req
208. - YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF CAKE
CAN'T BE BIRTHDAY CAKE.Copy !req
209. THAT'S LIKE SAYING
YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF CEREALCopy !req
210. IS BREAKFAST CEREAL.Copy !req
211. - MM. I LOVE BREAKFAST CEREAL.Copy !req
212. - LOOK, SOME KIND OF BIRD.
LET'S KILL IT.Copy !req
213. YOU TALKIN' TO ME, BITCH?Copy !req
214. - WHAT WERE YOU AIMING AT?Copy !req
215. - NOTHIN'.Copy !req
216. - OKAY.Copy !req
217. - OKAY, OKAY.Copy !req
218. I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY
PEOPLE LIKE THAT.Copy !req
219. - RIGHT?
- YEAH.Copy !req
220. YEAH!Copy !req
221. - YEAH. AND KEEPING
ONE'S EYES OPENCopy !req
222. IS ALWAYS A GOOD RULE
OF THUMB AROUND GUNS.Copy !req
223. - THIS IS SUCH A GREAT DAY.Copy !req
224. SEE, AT MY HOUSE I'VE GOT A WIFE
AND THREE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS.Copy !req
225. BUT THIS TRIP,
IT IS THE ONE TIME OF YEARCopy !req
226. I GET TO PEE STANDING UP.Copy !req
227. MM.Copy !req
228. AHH, I LOVE THAT SOUND.Copy !req
229. - AAH!Copy !req
230. AAH, I'VE BEEN SHOT!Copy !req
231. UNH!
I'VE BEEN SHOT!Copy !req
232. SOMEBODY SHOT ME
IN THE HEAD!Copy !req
233. - BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA?Copy !req
234. - OH, MY GOD!
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD!Copy !req
235. - OVER HERE.
RIGHT THERE.Copy !req
236. - RON, I GOT YOUR HAT.
RON, I HAVE YOUR HAT.Copy !req
237. ARE YOU IN A LOT OF PAIN?Copy !req
238. - I WAS SHOT IN THE HEAD
WITH A SHOTGUN!Copy !req
239. - HEY, RON, IT'S ACTUALLY
NOT THAT SERIOUS.Copy !req
240. I JUST NEED YOU
TO STAY CALM, OKAY?Copy !req
241. - YEAH, I'M JUST GONNA
STAY ANGRY.Copy !req
242. I FIND THAT RELAXES ME.Copy !req
243. - OKAY, RON, WE CALLED 911,
AND THEY'RE GONNA SEND A RANGER.Copy !req
244. - OH, DAMN!
THIS IS A MESS.Copy !req
245. THE RANGERS WON'T LET US
COME BACK NEXT YEAR.Copy !req
246. - WE'RE NOT GONNA THINK
ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
247. YOU GUYS, CAN YOU JUST
PUT HIM ON THE DAY BEDCopy !req
248. IN THE CARCASS ROOM?Copy !req
249. - DAY BED?
- YEAH.Copy !req
250. IS THAT DONNA?Copy !req
251. DONNA?Copy !req
252. DONNA?
- GET ME SOME SCOTCH.Copy !req
253. - ARE YOU OKAY?Copy !req
254. WHAT IS IT, YOUR HEART?Copy !req
255. ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE
BREATHING?Copy !req
256. - SOMEONE...Copy !req
257. - OKAY,
HERE'S YOUR SCOTCH, RON.Copy !req
258. - OKAY, JERRY. JERRY'S HERE.
HERE'S YOUR SCOTCH, RON.Copy !req
259. THERE WE GO, RON. OKAY.Copy !req
260. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT
IS GREAT?Copy !req
261. ANN'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU.Copy !req
262. AND ANN IS THE BEST NURSE
IN NORTH AMERICA.Copy !req
263. ALL RIGHT.
THERE WE GO.Copy !req
264. - WHAT? YOU OKAY?Copy !req
265. - DID YOU—DID YOU SHOOT ME?Copy !req
266. - WHAT? NO.Copy !req
267. - THERE WAS A BIRD
KIND OF NEAR ME,Copy !req
268. AND I KNOW HOW DESPERATE YOU ARE
TO PROVE YOURSELF.Copy !req
269. - NO. NO, I SWEAR I DIDN'T.Copy !req
270. RON, I SWEAR TO GOD,
I'VE NEVER SHOT ANYONE.Copy !req
271. - WELL, YOU BETTER FIND OUT
WHO IT WAS.Copy !req
272. AND THEN PURCHASE THEM
A COFFINCopy !req
273. BECAUSE I'M GONNA
RIP THEM APART!Copy !req
274. - OKAY.Copy !req
275. - MARCO.Copy !req
276. - POLO.Copy !req
277. - MARCO.
- POLO.Copy !req
278. - MARCO?Copy !req
279. - POLO.Copy !req
280. - MARCO.Copy !req
281. - POLO.Copy !req
282. - HEY.
- OKAY, HOW ARE YOU FEELING?Copy !req
283. - HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
- ARE YOU DIZZY?Copy !req
284. ARE YOU LIGHT-HEADED?Copy !req
285. - WHEN I LOOK AT MY PALM,
I SEE A LADY'S MOUTHCopy !req
286. FRENCH KISSING A DOG.Copy !req
287. IS THAT NORMAL?
- IS THAT NORMAL?Copy !req
288. - WELL, THE PAIN MEDICATION
I GAVE YOU IS PRETTY STRONG.Copy !req
289. DONNA USES IT
FOR MENSTRUAL CRAMPS.Copy !req
290. HOW MANY DID YOU TAKE?Copy !req
291. - SEVE—EIGHT.Copy !req
292. BUT I WASHED 'EM DOWN
WITH PLENTY OF FLUIDS.Copy !req
293. - RON, YOU CANNOT DRINK SCOTCH
WITH THIS!Copy !req
294. YOU'RE GONNA NEED TO PURGE
RIGHT NOW, OKAY?Copy !req
295. OH, NO.Copy !req
296. - OH, YEAH. YES.Copy !req
297. - NO, I'M NOT WASTING
20-YEAR SCOTCH.Copy !req
298. - CAN YOU OPEN HIS MOUTH,
LESLIE?Copy !req
299. - WHAT?
- OPEN HIS MOUTH.Copy !req
300. OPEN HIS MOUTH!
- OKAY.Copy !req
301. - I'M NOT MAKING MYSELF
THROW UP.Copy !req
302. - OH, RON, I'M SORRY.
WE HAVE TO DO THIS.Copy !req
303. THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
- I WILL BITE YOU!Copy !req
304. - OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
- LESLIE, GRAB HIS MUSTACHE.Copy !req
305. - RON!
- OPEN YOUR MOUTH.Copy !req
306. GET HIS CHEST UP.
- OW!Copy !req
307. - OPEN YOUR MOUTH!
- OPEN YOUR MOUTH!Copy !req
308. - HIS SHOULDERS!
- AAH!Copy !req
309. - WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS
RON IS RESTING COMFORTABLY.Copy !req
310. - IS HE OKAY?
IS HE GONNA LIVE?Copy !req
311. - I THINK SO.Copy !req
312. ALTHOUGH I AM HOPING THAT
HE HAS SOME MEMORY LOSS.Copy !req
313. - ON A SCALE OF ONE TO CHRIS
BROWN, HOW PISSED IS HE?Copy !req
314. - WELL, HE'S VERY CURIOUS
ABOUT WHO SHOT HIM.Copy !req
315. SO IF YOU DID IT,
JUST SAY "I DID IT."Copy !req
316. COME ON,
PERSON WHO SHOT RON.Copy !req
317. LOOK, I THINK
IT'S A LITTLE WEIRDCopy !req
318. THAT NOBODY WANTS TO ADMIT
THAT THEY SHOT RON IN THE HEAD.Copy !req
319. - MAYBE RON SHOT HIMSELF.Copy !req
320. - HMM, HE HAS SEEMED
REALLY DEPRESSED LATELY.Copy !req
321. - HE WAS SHOT IN THE BACK
OF THE HEAD.Copy !req
322. - YOU'RE RIGHT,
HE LOVES THE BACK OF HIS HEAD.Copy !req
323. HE WOULD NEVER
SHOOT HIMSELF THERE.Copy !req
324. - IT COULD HAVE BEEN
SOMEONE ELSE WHO SHOT RON.Copy !req
325. SOMEONE NOT IN OUR GROUP.Copy !req
326. - YOU THINK SOMEONE
IS HUNTING US?Copy !req
327. - MAN IS THE MOST
DANGEROUS GAME.Copy !req
328. - TO THE PREDATOR.Copy !req
329. - I DID SMELL SOMETHING
OUT THERE, AND IT WASN'T HUMAN.Copy !req
330. - THAT WAS PINE TREES.Copy !req
331. - THE PREDATOR CAN SEE HEAT.Copy !req
332. - WE SHOULD COVER OURSELVES
IN MUD.Copy !req
333. IT COULD STILL BE OUT THERE.Copy !req
334. - DID YOU HEAR THAT?Copy !req
335. - ACTUALLY,
I DID HEAR SOMETHING.Copy !req
336. - THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE.
- I'M GONNA GET MY GUN.Copy !req
337. - OKAY, TOM, SCARE HIM OFF.
SHOOT OVER HIS HEAD.Copy !req
338. - WHAT'S THAT GONNA DO?
I'M GONNA SHOOT UNDER ITS HEAD.Copy !req
339. - WHOA!
- DON'T SHOOT ANYONE.Copy !req
340. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
341. - HEY, DON'T SHOOT!Copy !req
342. HEY, IT'S CRAIG
FROM REINHOLD MERCEDES!Copy !req
343. - CRAIG!
CRAIG, I GOT YOU, DAWG!Copy !req
344. CRAIG, DON'T WORRY,
I'M COMIN'!Copy !req
345. - ATTENTION, PERSON
WHO SHOT ME IN THE HEAD.Copy !req
346. I'M GONNA FIND YOU AND
I'M GONNA TEAR YOU APART!Copy !req
347. - RON, BED. NOW.Copy !req
348. - OKAY.Copy !req
349. - THAT MAN WASN'T MY BROTHER.Copy !req
350. HE WAS MY HUSBAND!Copy !req
351. - HOW WAS THAT?
THAT WASN'T GOOD?Copy !req
352. - YEAH, YOU CAN DO BETTER.
- ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
353. GIMME ANOTHER ONE.
- OKAY.Copy !req
354. I'M PREGNANT...
WITH JOSH GROBAN'S BABY!Copy !req
355. THAT WAS GOOD.Copy !req
356. - YOU DO ONE.
- OKAY.Copy !req
357. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN
THE SQUIRREL TOOK THE NUTSCopy !req
358. OUT OF THE...Copy !req
359. OUT OF THAT KID'S BACKPACK...
AND ATE 'EM?Copy !req
360. - YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME
A REASON TO SPIT.Copy !req
361. - OH. OH, YEAH.
- TO SPIT.Copy !req
362. OH, OH, YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH.Copy !req
363. - DON'T ASK ME A QUESTION.
- I WON'T. OKAY, NOT A QUESTION.Copy !req
364. - OKAY, READY?
- YEAH.Copy !req
365. I'VE LIVED IN PAWNEE
MY WHOLE LIFE.Copy !req
366. - THAT IS A FACT.Copy !req
367. A FACT ABOUT ME.Copy !req
368. YOU HAVE—Copy !req
369. MEH...Copy !req
370. - HEY, HOW IS HE?Copy !req
371. - HE'S, UH, PRETTY OUT OF IT.Copy !req
372. HE'S TALKING ABOUT YOU
IN HIS SLEEP.Copy !req
373. - GOOD STUFF?
- NO.Copy !req
374. - OH.
- HOW'S IT GOING OUT THERE?Copy !req
375. - TERRIBLY. NO ONE WILL ADMIT
THEY SHOT RON,Copy !req
376. AND NO ONE SAW IT HAPPEN.Copy !req
377. - I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
- YOU DO?Copy !req
378. - LISTEN, I HEARD ABOUT
THE ACCIDENT,Copy !req
379. AND I NEED TO KNOW
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE.Copy !req
380. - I DON'T KNOW.
THAT'S THE PROBLEM.Copy !req
381. - I AM.Copy !req
382. I SHOT RON SWANSON.Copy !req
383. - YOU SHOT MY MERCEDES?Copy !req
384. - WHAT? NO. NO!Copy !req
385. - OKAY, FOLLOW MY LIGHT.Copy !req
386. NOT YOUR WHOLE HEAD.
JUST YOUR EYES. YEAH.Copy !req
387. OKAY, WHAT MONTH IS IT?
- NOVEMBER.Copy !req
388. - WHY ARE YOU TAKING
THE BLAME FOR THIS?Copy !req
389. - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.Copy !req
390. JUST GO LOOK AFTER RON.Copy !req
391. - SO WHAT HAPPENED?Copy !req
392. I MEAN, DID YOU FORGET
TO CHECK THE ENTIRE FIELD?Copy !req
393. I FIND A LOT OF WOMEN HAVE
PROBLEMS WITH TUNNEL VISION.Copy !req
394. - NO, I'M AN EXCELLENT
HUNTER.Copy !req
395. - HOW DID YOU END UP SHOOTING
A GUY IN THE HEAD, THEN?Copy !req
396. - FAIR ENOUGH.Copy !req
397. I WAS WALKING IN THE WOODS,Copy !req
398. AND THEN I TRIPPED
AND MY GUN WENT OFF.Copy !req
399. - AH, SO YOU FORGOT
TO PUT THE SAFETY ON.Copy !req
400. - NO, I ALWAYS HAVE
THE SAFETY ON.Copy !req
401. WHILE I WAS TRIPPING,
I SAW A QUAIL,Copy !req
402. AND I SHOT AT IT.Copy !req
403. - IN MID-TRIP?Copy !req
404. - NO. THAT'S—Copy !req
405. OKAY, FINE.Copy !req
406. I GOT THAT TUNNEL VISION...Copy !req
407. THAT GIRLS GET.Copy !req
408. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.
END OF STORY.Copy !req
409. - WELL, I THINK YOU'RE
HYSTERICALCopy !req
410. BECAUSE OF ALL THE EXCITEMENT,
OBVIOUSLY.Copy !req
411. SO I'M JUST NOT FOLLOWING
YOUR STORY. ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
412. - UM, I LET MY EMOTIONS
GET THE BEST OF ME.Copy !req
413. - AH.Copy !req
414. - I JUST—
I CARED TOO MUCH, I GUESS.Copy !req
415. I WAS THINKING
WITH MY LADY PARTS.Copy !req
416. I WAS WALKING,
AND I FELT SOMETHING ICKY.Copy !req
417. I THOUGHT THERE WAS GONNA
BE CHOCOLATE.Copy !req
418. I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER.Copy !req
419. I'M WEARING A NEW BRA,
AND IT CLOSES IN THE FRONT.Copy !req
420. SO IT POPPED OPEN
AND IT THREW ME OFF.Copy !req
421. ALL I WANT TO DO
IS HAVE BABIES.Copy !req
422. ARE YOU SINGLE?Copy !req
423. I'M JUST, LIKE, GOING
THROUGH A THING RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
424. I GUESS WHEN MY LIFE'S
INCOMPLETE,Copy !req
425. I WANT TO SHOOT SOMEONE.Copy !req
426. THIS WOULD NOT HAPPEN
IF I HAD A PENIS!Copy !req
427. WHAT?
BITCHES BE CRAZY.Copy !req
428. I'M GOOD AT
TOLERATING PAIN,Copy !req
429. I'M BAD AT MATH,
AND I'M STUPID.Copy !req
430. - I WONDER WHAT
THEY'RE DOING RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
431. - PROBABLY MAKING OUT
ON TOP OF A DEER CARCASS.Copy !req
432. SUPER-ROMANTIC.Copy !req
433. - YOU KNOW,
IF I GAVE YOU A HICKEY,Copy !req
434. IT WOULD TOTALLY
MAKE ANN JEALOUS.Copy !req
435. - I DON'T KNOW,
I THINK THAT WOULD—Copy !req
436. THAT'S PRETTY GROSS.Copy !req
437. SEEMS KIND OF WEIRD.Copy !req
438. - WHAT'S WEIRD ABOUT
ONE FRIEND SUCKINGCopy !req
439. ON ANOTHER FRIEND'S NECK?Copy !req
440. - YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU
PUT IT THAT WAY,Copy !req
441. IT DOESN'T SOUND THAT WEIRD
AT ALL.Copy !req
442. - YEAH, IT'S NOT.Copy !req
443. I GAVE MY GAY BOYFRIEND'S
BOYFRIEND A HICKEY,Copy !req
444. AND IT TOTALLY MADE
MY GAY BOYFRIEND JEALOUS.Copy !req
445. - REALLY?Copy !req
446. ALL RIGHT, AWESOME.
I'M IN.Copy !req
447. I'M GONNA GO STERILIZE
MY NECK.Copy !req
448. - OKAY.Copy !req
449. WHAT?Copy !req
450. - YOU KNOW, LESLIE,Copy !req
451. THE SUPER BOWL'S
IN A COUPLE MONTHS.Copy !req
452. I USUALLY WATCH IT
WITH MY BROTHERS.Copy !req
453. MAYBE YOU COULD COME BY
AT HALFTIMECopy !req
454. AND SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD.Copy !req
455. - RON, I'M REALLY SORRY
THAT I RUINED YOUR WEEKEND.Copy !req
456. - OR PERHAPS NEXT TIME
I'M ENJOYING SOME ALONE TIMECopy !req
457. IN THE MEN'S RESTROOM,Copy !req
458. YOU COULD INVITE YOURSELF
INTO MY STALLCopy !req
459. AND SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD.Copy !req
460. LOOK, IF THERE'S ANYTHING
I CAN DOCopy !req
461. TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU—
- SURE.Copy !req
462. HOW 'BOUT YOU SHOOT ME
IN THE HEAD?Copy !req
463. OH, WAIT,
YOU ALREADY DID THAT!Copy !req
464. - HEY, TOM, CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A SECOND?Copy !req
465. - HOLD ON.
THIS IS AMAZING.Copy !req
466. - NOW. I NEED
TO TALK TO YOU NOW.Copy !req
467. - OKAY.Copy !req
468. WHOA! ANN, WHOA.Copy !req
469. ARE WE FINALLY GONNA
DO THIS? OW!Copy !req
470. - I SAW YOU SHOOT RON.Copy !req
471. OKAY, LESLIE COVERED
FOR YOU,Copy !req
472. BUT I'M NOT GONNA LET HER
TAKE ANY MORE CRAP FROM RONCopy !req
473. ON YOUR SORRY-ASS BEHALF.Copy !req
474. - OKAY, FOR THE RECORD,
I WAS GONNA COME FORWARD,Copy !req
475. AND I'LL DO IT RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
476. BUT AFTERWARDS
CAN WE COME BACK HERECopy !req
477. AND TALK ABOUT US? OW!Copy !req
478. - MAYBE THE NEXT TIME
I'M AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICECopy !req
479. GETTING MY PROSTATE
EXAMINED,Copy !req
480. YOU COULD COME BY
AND SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD.Copy !req
481. - EXCUSE ME, EVERYONE.Copy !req
482. RON, I HAVE SOMETHING
TO SAY.Copy !req
483. - HANG ON A MINUTE, TOM.
I'M NOT DONE BERATING LESLIE.Copy !req
484. - IT WASN'T LESLIE'S FAULT.Copy !req
485. SHE WAS COVERING FOR MECopy !req
486. BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE
A HUNTING LICENSE.Copy !req
487. I WAS THE ONE WHO SHOT YOU.
- YOU DIDN'T GET A LICENSE?Copy !req
488. WHAT KIND OF MORON
DOESN'T GET A LICENSE?Copy !req
489. THAT'S RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT,
MY SON.Copy !req
490. THAT'S A $25,000 FINE,
MINIMUM.Copy !req
491. AND PROBABLY JAIL TIME.Copy !req
492. - BUT SHE COVERED FOR ME,
AND I'M IN THE CLEAR.Copy !req
493. - THAT'S RIGHT.Copy !req
494. SHE KEPT HER MOUTH SHUT,
AND NOW YOU'RE IN THE CLEAR.Copy !req
495. - WELL, RON, YOU KNOW,
I COULDN'T LET—Copy !req
496. - I KNOW.
YOU DID GOOD.Copy !req
497. YOU'RE A REAL STAND-UP GUY.Copy !req
498. I'M SORRY I LOST
MY TEMPER BEFORE.Copy !req
499. IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS SHOT
IN THE HEAD BY A MORON.Copy !req
500. - YEAH.Copy !req
501. - DUDE, RON, I'M SO SORRY.Copy !req
502. - APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED,
MORON.Copy !req
503. - PANTS KING.
- PANTS QUEEN.Copy !req
504. - HI, ANN.
- HEY.Copy !req
505. - MMM, THE TURKEYS ARE GREAT.Copy !req
506. - HEY, RON SWANSON!Copy !req
507. - HEY!
- HEY!Copy !req
508. - RON SWANSON.
- THANK YOU. THANK YOU ALL.Copy !req
509. - WELCOME BACK, RON.
- OH, HEY...Copy !req
510. "WELCOME BACK, RON."Copy !req
511. THAT'S TERRIFIC.
THANKS, YOU GUYS.Copy !req
512. LET'S EAT!Copy !req