Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt 1x1

Directed by Hiroyuki Imaishi

Panty & Stocking have to go into the nasty Daten City sewers to find a Ghost that is eating people in the bathroom.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. "Excretion Without Honor and Humanity."

2. Daten City, a town clinging to the threshold between

3. Heaven and Hell, where the peace of its human inhabitants

4. is regularly threatened by foul tempered, evil spirits.

5. A fetid darkness lodged in the cracks of troubled souls

6. will obstruct this town today, unnoticed.

7. Silent.

8. Deadly.

9. However, there are some who wield a light beyond all

10. human understanding and ascend their stools of righteousness

11. to eradicate those shadows bound by the bowels of hell.

12. But who could have been given the duty

13. of eliminating this darkness?

14. Are they servants of God or minions of the devil?

15. Shit! What the hell is goin' on?

16. Having a good morning, Panty?

17. That's your cue to go, sweet cheeks.

18. So, I'll call you, and—yeah?

19. And how you feelin' this morning, Stocking?

20. Fuck off.

21. Don't talk to me until I've had my goddamn sugar.

22. Heaven has blessed us with a clue that

23. should lead us to another ghost to take out!

24. Listen up!

25. Water closet!

26. That means bathroom.

27. We have reports of people being suddenly

28. and inexplicably sucked into their toilets,

29. almost as if the commodes are eating them alive.

30. Taking a massive dump is one of the most vulnerable positions

31. a person can find themselves in.

32. For someone or something to prey upon that weakness

33. is a vicious and damnable act!

34. Woe, this be the work of a ghost.

35. All I need out of life is to wake up

36. next to some morning wood.

37. Is there anything hard you refuse to jump on?

38. Oh, stop it with the self-righteous bullshit.

39. Everyone's got a hobby.

40. Yeah, that's true. I'll stick with sugar.

41. Don't you ever crave protein?

42. Don't you ever not?

43. Hey, it's good for you!

44. Ain't that right, Garter?

45. Shut up!

46. First of all,

47. why the fuck do you think I know the answer to that?

48. And secondly, if you don't want to be stuck here forever,

49. the only option you pathetic excuses for anything

50. resembling angels have is to buy your way back into heaven

51. with Heaven Coins you collect exterminating evil ghosts!

52. Contrary to popular belief,

53. you are not here to collect men or sugar!

54. So focus and stop acting like fat ass hoes!

55. So what're you thinking?

56. Eh, fuck it; let's go.

57. Hey, Stockin'?

58. What is it, Panty?

59. You ready to roll?

60. Yeah!

61. I love how See Through always gets us

62. wherever we need to go with some mother fuckin' style!

63. Get it, girl!

64. Get it!

65. Yes!

66. It's never flowed better.

67. Oh God.

68. You are a master at your craft.

69. Uh, yeah, thanks.

70. I'll stop by later and check up on it.

71. My, aren't you just the sweetest darn thing?

72. But I think you need to stay a bit longer

73. cause I've got something else you can check up on.

74. Bingo!

75. Found him!

76. A toilet and a plumber dude?

77. Yeah, that's him.

78. Are you sure?

79. That's the fucker we're looking for.

80. Isn't that right asshole?

81. Tell me, do you feel lucky punk?

82. Well, do ya?

83. Do ya?

84. That might not be him.

85. I don't think it's him.

86. Color me shocked.

87. Please stop hitting me.

88. It really hurts.

89. I haven't done anything!

90. Fuck, you're a hot piece of ass.

91. You are preaching to the vag, sister.

92. Hang on to these for me.

93. Gross.

94. Well, he's feeling lucky now.

95. But he was just a plumber.

96. So true.

97. And my pipes are totally clean.

98. How long have you been waiting to use that joke?

99. Fuck, it seems like forever.

100. I couldn't not, ya know what I mean?

101. What are you saying?

102. I don't mind fucking for a laugh.

103. Your acting like you don't even give a shit!

104. Oh Lord, grant me the patience!

105. Let's just fuckin' eat.

106. Shit was that good!

107. Your curry is unreal, Garter!

108. That's cuz it's black, baby.

109. You won't ever go back.

110. So what's up for dessert?

111. I'm guessing chocolate for no reason in particular.

112. Well, I don't give a shit.

113. So, I'm gonna go take one.

114. I'll be in the can if you need me.

115. Don't let the toilet eat you!

116. Oh, screw off!

117. We should have picked up some chocolate bombs

118. from the Meadow Muffin Bakery!

119. Those plops of gooey dough just never get old!

120. Does she even hear what she's saying?

121. I just want tasty brown goodness in my mouth all the time.

122. Is that too much to ask?

123. Oh, God!

124. My mouth is watering just thinking about it!

125. Fuck!

126. Shit!

127. Stockin'!

128. Stockin'!

129. Help me! Goddamnit, Stocking!

130. Shut up, Panty!

131. No one wants to talk to you while you're taking a dump!

132. That's so disgusting!

133. I hope you shit your face off while you're

134. shitting your guts out if that makes you feel any better.

135. Okay.

136. I get it now.

137. Okay, you get what now?

138. Maybe the what's curry.

139. Oh, yeah.

140. I get it.

141. Well we don't get it.

142. What the hell is that thing?

143. It looks like a huge ass scoop of chocolate ice cream.

144. Hey, I want some! Yummy!

145. Freeze, shithead!

146. Don't make any sudden movements!

147. Shit fart doodoo!

148. Holy shit!

149. What the fuck are we gonna do?

150. No offense, Preacher Man, but Jesus God—what is that?

151. Unfortunately, you be staring

152. into the brown eye of an evil spirit.

153. The negative energy created by all the plumbers who've

154. suffocated and died from the stench of clogged-ass toilets

155. has manifested himself into a vengeful spirit.

156. This powerful ghost utilized all the fecal matter in the city

157. to achieve his poodie-poop physical form!

158. That's disgusting!

159. Oh, God! He's gonna spew!

160. I don't think I can handle any more bodily functions.

161. Suck it up, dude!

162. Not literally though.

163. Oh, shit, I'm gonna hurl again.

164. Please don't tell me prayer is the only thing

165. that can get us out of this.

166. Why the heck would I tell you that?

167. God ain't even here right now.

168. Prayer can go to hell, man.

169. We got angels!

170. Panty and Stocking, you're up!

171. What?

172. Are you talking about that walking turdsicle over there?

173. And that goth chick next to it, who obviously has daddy issues?

174. It's time for us to flush the toilet.

175. Number one, that was cheesy; number two, you smell like shit.

176. How about I buy you a cake from that fancy bakery and

177. you manage to do this without saying another fucking word?

178. As long as what I'm saying now doesn't count, I'm in.

179. Then let's make this fucking fucker pay for covering me

180. in this fucking shit; okay you can reply to that.

181. Let's rock.

182. O, pitiful shadow lost in the darkness.

183. O evil spirit born of those

184. drifting between Heaven and Earth.

185. May the thunderous power from the garments of these holy,

186. delicate maidens strike down upon you with great vengeance

187. and furious anger, shattering your loathsome impurity

188. and returning you from whence you came.

189. Repent, you motherfucker!

190. This blows!

191. Good Angels.

192. You got a coin.

193. All that for just one?

194. Yeah, one closer, so quit your bitching.

195. "The evil has been vanquished!" So rings the bell.

196. At least I'm assuming that's why it's ringing.

197. Now, keep your promise and go buy me that cake.

198. I need sweet stat.

199. Yeah, yeah.

200. Look, I found a tasty little treat for me, too!

201. Whatever you say, ma'am.

202. You're an angel!

203. You still have a punishment to face.

204. Oh, like what? Bondage?

205. What would I get out of that?

206. Uh, yeah; I've got plans, so you can leave me the hell alone.

207. Shit!

208. Death Race 2010!

209. Come on, are you fucking kidding me?

210. Faster does not mean better, you asshole.

211. Dude. You're one hard-core angel.

212. You get my motor running.

213. How is this fair?

214. Look how many times you've cum!

215. I've only squirted once and it wasn't that far.

216. You know what, babe?

217. You're more like a devil than an angel.

218. Real fucking profound.

219. You're too old to rock leather pants, by the way.

220. Seriously.

221. You look like Mick Jagger's grandpa.

222. Whoa, what's going on here?

223. This is an incredible turn of events!

224. If you're just joining us, an unmanned sports car is somehow

225. running wild—

226. That thing looks like it might even be faster than you!

227. No way! Nothing can outrace my ride! Wait. What?

228. Hey, is that Stockin'?

229. The police are currently redirecting traffic—

230. This is Panty.

231. Where are you at?

232. I am, uh, visiting the elderly at a nursing home.

233. Don't lie to me! You're at that immoral hotel!

234. Shit! Whoops. I got another call!

235. Panty! Are you watching TV?

236. Nope. So what's up?

237. You diddling another douche bag?

238. Get your skank ass out here and help me!

239. Fine. I'll go. Jesus, calm down!

240. It's not like this guy is rocking my world or anything.

241. I wasn't kidding.

242. My bike is wicked fast.

243. Yeah, guess what, fuckface.

244. A little technique doesn't hurt.

245. Oh thanks for the ride.

246. Get outta the way, losers!

247. That means I'm gonna run your asses over!

248. And no one can stop me!

249. He's run over everyone in his path,

250. spilling the blood of numerous innocent victims!

251. It's an alarming case of road rage!

252. Come on!

253. Aw, are you trying to catch me, kitty cat?

254. Well, bring it on, bitch!

255. But, to be honest,

256. I don't think you're gonna be able to handle what I'm packing!

257. That means I have a big dick!

258. Nice!

259. These boots are fantastic!

260. Hah. Bingo!

261. Now, one of your salespersons talked me

262. into buying this atrocity yesterday.

263. They had me convinced it looked good,

264. but I resembled a sideshow circus freak in it. I would

265. like to return this horrible outfit for a full refund,

266. and I want an apology!

267. Yes!

268. Not even close!

269. Hey, what's up, shit pickle?

270. So where are you off to in such a fucking hurry?

271. Who the hell cares where I'm off to, as long as I get off!

272. Oh, yeah, good one.

273. That means ejaculate, specifically!

274. Yeah, I got that.

275. Trust me, queef breath,

276. if there's anything I understand, it's the big 'O'.

277. It's about time.

278. Did you mount everything on your way over?

279. You two know each other?

280. I did not.

281. But I'll be sure to make that happen for you next time.

282. Get a load of this.

283. Take it all!

284. I bet you like it rough, don't you?

285. Oh, yeah!

286. That's what you get for being late!

287. Shit!

288. Where did Backlace go?

289. What's on my face?

290. Hey, who turned out the lights?

291. My gun is on your face!

292. Well, technically, it's my panties.

293. Shit! On the bright side,

294. it does smell like I'm going really fast!

295. Stop licking that right now!

296. Bet you've never said that before.

297. Move over!

298. Go, See Through! Go!

299. It looks as though the Anarchy Sisters, Panty and Stocking

300. have finally joined forces and are determined

301. to catch this unruly roadster!

302. Wait, we may not need our angelic assassins, after all!

303. A convoy of police cars is closing in on

304. the creepy coupe from behind!

305. What the hell?

306. You're totally stealing our job, ya thiefs!

307. Take this!

308. And this!

309. That means suck it, coppers!

310. Opa!

311. Are you trying to create a barricade?

312. Against me?

313. You idiots!

314. Who the hell do you think you are?

315. The Spartan army?

316. I'm gonna gladiate the fuck outta you donut-eating dipshits!

317. I'm outta here!

318. Ah, life in the fast lane. Just makes you finish quicker.

319. That means you're dead.

320. Wait!

321. Chill the fuck out; I gotta get my panties first!

322. Later suckers.

323. Jump here and I am in!

324. That's not good.

325. Now you do realize this is all your fault?

326. I'm aware, thanks.

327. That doesn't mean you can destroy my panties though, okay?

328. Not being made of fiberglass is awesome!

329. It's time for payback, you scumbag pigs.

330. Which I'm saying 'cause you're all cops!

331. Hey, fat ass!

332. I have an idea!

333. Why don't you let me help you lighten your load?

334. Are we rolling?

335. You got nothing!

336. Shit, except that!

337. Goddamnit!

338. Stop, that hurts!

339. That means ow!

340. Mother fucking ow!

341. Sonofabitch you're brutal!

342. Ugh gross.

343. Gunpowder smells like old hag stank.

344. What's wrong?

345. Hey dick angel, are you giving up already?

346. No way.

347. Is this a challenge?

348. What, are you playin' chicken with the rooster, bitch?

349. I give you credit though.

350. You've got some massive balls!

351. Shove it up your exhaust pipe.

352. That means ass!

353. Let go of me!

354. It's not my fault you look like Hitler!

355. Shut up!

356. That's the last time you sneak in here

357. on my watch, you punk kid!

358. Yeah!

359. Fuckin A!

360. Rad.

361. Let's collect the coins and get out of here.

362. Did you ruin my panties?

363. They were expensive as hell!

364. You owe me a new pair if you did!

365. Hey, we killed the damn ghost.

366. The bell should be ringing.

367. That's how it works.

368. Yeah, that's weird.

369. I'm not dead yet.

370. Not even close!

371. Round three? Seriously?

372. Now we're talking.

373. I can keep going all night, buddy.

374. Ask around.

375. It's true.

376. She's a giant slut.

377. All I need is to get a hold of Backlace

378. so I can finish him off for good!

379. Hey!

380. Get me up to him, and I'll give you a flash of my panties!

381. What?

382. Your panties?

383. Fucking go!

384. We can't air this!

385. Can we?

386. We're airing this if I have to blow someone!

387. Do what she said!

388. Let's get him, See Through!

389. That's what I'm talking about!

390. Now!

391. Oh, fuck, yes!

392. I'm almost there!

393. I'm so close!

394. Yes!

395. I'm gonna blow.

396. Oh God, don't stop!

397. I'm about to explode!

398. Yeah!

399. Climax to the max!

400. This is it!

401. Oh, yeah!

402. This speed is amazing!

403. I haven't even used protection!

404. No brakes!

405. Pedal to the metal the whole time!

406. Yeah, baby!

407. That means I never—Let—Up!

408. He's so disgusting.

409. Oh yeah!

410. Chuck.

411. You know, I just now realized something.

412. With men, it's not about quantity or speed.

413. It's about how stretchy they are!

414. Ready?

415. Where you goin'?

416. Don't you worry.

417. I'm coming back!

418. Oh ouch!

419. Yeah, I'm done here?

420. It's not me; it's you.

421. Repent, motherfucker!

422. Shit!

423. Is this my stop?

424. How many are there?

425. Three Heavens!

426. Cheap and disappointing.

427. Really?

428. Because you seemed to be enjoying yourself.

429. Meh.

430. Everyone likes to go fast,

431. but without good technique, what's the point?

432. Gross.

433. I'm so never wearing these again.

434. Is the gospel told by these angels filled

435. with the light of hope or the darkness of despair?

436. The people live their lives unaware here in the city located

437. somewhere between Heaven and Earth.