Ozzy and Jack's World Detour 2x8

1. - I come bearing fruits from the devil.

2. - The devil?

3. - Firstly. - Oh, my God.

4. - Well, that is called the and Balls.

5. This is the Voodoo. Maple Bacon.

6. The Blunt. This is Old Dirty Bastard.

7. - That looks like it's coming out of my butt.

8. - This is something they whipped up special.

9. - Oh, That's really cool.

10. - That's one massive donut.

11. - It's clever, man.

12. - You should text it and send a picture to Slash.

13. - Good idea.

14. - Do it this way.

15. - I want to write something first.

16. - Here you go.

17. Didn't you once send Slash a weird text?

18. - But Slash is a great guy. - He is.

19. - He's a really good guy. I love him.

20. I bet some people could eat all that.

21. - I think you could probably eat all that.

22. - No. No.

23. - If I rolled you a sweet fatty right now

24. and you blazed up, I guarantee you that

25. would be gone in like 40 minutes.

26. - Well, first I'd eat Slash, then I'd eat me.

27. - Cannibal.

28. - My name is Jack Osbourne.

29. World adventurer, thrill seeker,

30. and adrenaline junkie.

31. And this is my dad, Ozzy. Heavy metal God.

32. - Are you ready?

33. - Prince of Darkness, and loving grandfather.

34. Growing up, my dad was away from home a lot touring,

35. and we missed hanging out.

36. So now we've decided to hit the road together

37. and make up for lost time,

38. traveling from Florida to Alaska,

39. taking in all the beauty —

40. Wow.

41. - And the bizarre that America has to offer.

42. - What the is that?

43. - There are no roadies, no tour buses, no boundaries.

44. - All aboard!

45. - Welcome to "Ozzy & Jack's World Detour."

46. - Let's rock and roll.

47. - What are you gonna enjoy?

48. - A glazed one for me.

49. - Right there.

50. - So one of my favorite coffee roasters

51. is this compeny called Stumptown.

52. - Dunk Cow?

53. - Stumptown.

54. - Yeah, okay.

55. - And they're based in Portland.

56. It's like going to like a wine tasting, but for coffee.

57. - Oh, there's a rumor we're gonna be meeting up

58. with a psychic.

59. I'm kind of inquisitive to find out.

60. I'm afraid, but I ain't afraid.

61. - Yeah. If you start getting freaked out,

62. you can tell her to stop.

63. - Okay, I know.

64. - We have a bunch of things also planned on the

65. way up to Seattle.

66. We're gonna go to this oyster farm.

67. - Do people still eat them?

68. - Yes, Dad, people still eat oysters.

69. - that. It's like eating a big gas.

70. - A big what?

71. - Oh.

72. - Oh, this.

73. - You are what you eat. They're so delicious.

74. - You know what?

75. - This is like them saying you should do it.

76. - Why aren't you eating any donuts?

77. - Because I'm not feeling that good today.

78. So that morning, I just — I woke up just feel nauseous,

79. and you feel your stomach go —

80. - Oh.

81. - And you're like, uh-oh, it's time.

82. The worst getting sick when you're not at home.

83. - Oh, that, it's crack.

84. If I was you, I'd get rid of all these donuts right now.

85. - All right, let's roll.

86. - Well, I have to admit, Slash tastes delicious.

87. - So how is your wood chopping ability?

88. - I haven't chopped wood for a while, but I think it's okay.

89. - I remember you - in England-

90. in Welders you had that chopping block,

91. and you would always chop wood for the house and stuff.

92. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

93. - So I have a friend whose buddy is the female

94. world champion lumberjack.

95. They call them lumberjills.

96. - Yeah. But like a female —

97. it's like Jack and Jill, yeah.

98. So he put me in touch with this woman named Erin.

99. She's a competitive lumberjill, and so we're gonna go

100. learn what it means to be a mountain man

101. from a mountain woman.

102. - I don't think this woman is gonna let that happen.

103. She's pretty dieseled.

104. - Evil?

105. - Dieseled. She's a cross fitter and a lumberjack.

106. - If she chops trees down, you wouldn't want to piss her off.

107. - Hell no.

108. - Well, what was interesting learning to do lumberjacking?

109. - Well, I like doing man.

110. And so what better way to learn how to do

111. man is to have a woman teach you.

112. - I'm looking for some wood.

113. - So am I. Where would I get some wood from?

114. They must have known we were coming.

115. - Erin? How's it going?

116. - Jack. Erin, nice to meet you. Thanks for coming.

117. - Nice to meet you too.

118. - Hello. Ozzy. Pleased to meet you.

119. - David.

120. - So what's going on here?

121. - This is — David and I compete professionally

122. in the lumberjack sport.

123. - I've got to ask. How come you —

124. I've never heard of a woman doing that.

125. - You know, logging is a man's job, and you know,

126. just like anything, us women work our way into everything,

127. and so that's why. I just really enjoy it.

128. - It's a good way to spend a day outside.

129. - It is.

130. - So what are the disciplines?

131. - The Underhand Chop is my specialty.

132. I've got a couple world records in that

133. and am world champion currently at that, so —

134. - Cool. You want to show us some stuff?

135. - You ready? - Yeah.

136. - Over here.

137. You're gonna try this jack.

138. - Uh-oh.

139. - This is called the Underhand Chop.

140. We stand on top of this log and we chop it in half.

141. - What's a respectable time?

142. - Approximately 30 seconds will put you into the prize money.

143. I've got a world record at 24-point-7.

144. - Wow.

145. - That's my fastest, yeah. It was a good day.

146. But we'll chop halfway through,

147. spin around and then finish chopping it.

148. - So I'm assuming the most common injury is the loss of —

149. - Toes.

150. - Yeah.

151. - There she is.

152. - Okay.

153. Don't miss.

154. - So jump up there, feel how low that is,

155. and then I want you to pick it up

156. and put it right back there.

157. Just make sure it goes where you want it to go.

158. There you go, pull down. Ooh, fricking pro.

159. - You gonna give this a whirl?

160. - No, thank you.

161. - Just touch it. Just touch my ax.

162. - She seemed a little flirty.

163. She kept trying to get us to touch her ax.

164. - Her ass? - No, her ax.

165. - Oh, her ass? - No, her ax.

166. - Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't — her ax.

167. - Yeah.

168. - Because that's a helicopter.

169. - Oh, yeah.

170. - Touch the ax. - Okay.

171. - There you go.

172. - Put your foot there Jack, and we'll save us some time.

173. - Yeah, real quick.

174. - I bet that a few accidents happen.

175. - There's quite a few accidents that happen, yeah.

176. - Good evening, folks. - Hello.

177. - I'd like to start my show off with one leg.

178. - So is ax throwing another one of your —

179. - It's not my expertise, but it is one the events

180. that we have to do.

181. - You wouldn't want to piss her off

182. because you'd end up with one arm.

183. - Man, she — - She could work her ax.

184. - She could definitely work that ax.

185. - Yeah.

186. - Yeah.

187. - I can't even hit the target.

188. - She gone.

189. That's a big fat zero, Jack.

190. Line up your thumbs kinda like this.

191. - Okay.

192. - And then when you release it,

193. try to Superman right towards the target with your hands.

194. - Alrighty.

195. - Yeah! - Well done.

196. - Whoo!

197. - You did it.

198. - You did it.

199. - It was a good one. Head it.

200. - It's pretty fun.

201. You start putting bets on it for beers,

202. dollars, dates, whatever.

203. - It's like darting in pubs.

204. - Yeah. Exactly. It's like logger darts.

205. Hey, Dad, want to show us some knife work.

206. - How do you hold it?

207. By the handle or the knife?

208. - The blade.

209. - The knife.

210. I don't know, Ozzy.

211. - There you go!

212. - There it is!

213. - What's the deal with you and knife throwing?

214. Who taught you and when did you get into it?

215. - I taught myself when I was about 11, 10.

216. - Okay.

217. - You know, anything dangerous when you're a kid, like fire —

218. - Knives.

219. - Knives. You know, we — guys do that, you know.

220. - Mm-hmm.

221. - Robin Hood.

222. Wow, she's awesome with an ax.

223. I'm glad she liked us.

224. - Are you all right, Jack?

225. - I really just don't feel good.

226. - What a bummer.

227. - I'm dying right now. I gotta go back to the hotel.

228. - You look pretty pale, man.

229. - I feel horrible.

230. - You ain't gonna throw up are you?

231. - So, I don't know. I'm not feeling good.

232. I'm supposed to go to Stumptown,

233. but that ain't gonna happen because I feel like

234. I'm just gonna vomit at any given moment.

235. I told my dad to kind of go on without me,

236. and like I said, I'm just gonna quarantine

237. myself like the next 48 hours and see what happens.

238. Stumptown.

239. But i'm gonna go. Have a few a cups I hope.

240. - hell.

241. - Oh, this is the piss this is.

242. - How big of a germaphobe are you?

243. - I'm not so much a germaphobe as a hypochondriac.

244. I just don't like being sick. I'm not good at it.

245. I mean, so —

246. - I'm not good at being sick, like it's a sport.

247. Oh, I'm not good at that, no.

248. - No. But getting sick ain't cool, man.

249. - It's hot under this mask.

250. There goes the Ozone.

251. Blow.

252. Jack keeps going —

253. - How in — in Earth, do you connect the fact

254. that I got a stomach flu with Robert?

255. - Okay. Were you sick before you got Robert?

256. - No. I didn't have th stomach flu in Florida.

257. - Okay.

258. - Okay. Besides that, what else bad has happened?

259. - I can't remember now, but — - See? Nothing.

260. - That's it, I think.

261. Moving right along.

262. Where do I get change from?

263. - There's a little change thing. You just put that in.

264. - I've won! Can you give me a hand?

265. - Yeah.

266. - What the are these?

267. Jack, what are you doing?

268. He wears these weird underpants, man.

269. - Push the start button and it will sanitize.

270. - All right. - And you're all set.

271. - Thank you. - Yeah, you're welcome.

272. The Prince of Darkness washing.

273. How long does this take?

274. Come on, you.

275. hell.

276. Game over.

277. - Game over?

278. I need a haircut when I leave here.

279. Is that it? Now, it stopped.

280. - What the is this ?

281. Jack, I've sterilized you.

282. Siri, what's my name?

283. - You're John, but you asked me to call you

284. Ozzy, the Prince of Darkness.

285. - Well, go on, call me Ozzy, the Prince of Darkness.

286. - I'm sorry, Ozzy, the Prince of Darkness,

287. I'm just trying to help you.

288. - I love you, Siri.

289. - That's nice.

290. Can we get back to work now?

291. - Siri, can you please order me a car?

292. Oh, okay.

293. - Ozzy!

294. - How you doing?

295. - Welcome to Stumptown.

296. - Hey, Ozzy, I'm Duane.

297. - Pleased to meet you, sir.

298. - It's my pleasure.

299. Welcome to Stumptown. Yeah, come on in.

300. This is where we started Stumptown.

301. I hear Jack's a big fan.

302. - Oh, yeah, yeah.

303. He's very sick right now. He's got some bug.

304. - Oh no.

305. Oh, God, here we go again.

306. - Hey everyone, it's Ozzy!

307. - Why do you like Stumptown?

308. - It's super delicious.

309. They're my favorite coffee company,

310. and I'm a bit of a coffee snob,

311. and I think they do coffee right.

312. Although I was like super bummed I couldn't make it,

313. I'm glad you at least did because this would

314. be a great opportunity to actually teach you

315. about coffee so you can enjoy coffee

316. versus just opening your throat like some

317. kind of pelican and pouring it down.

318. You don't even like the taste of it.

319. - I life the effect.

320. - Welcome to the coffee lab.

321. This is our education center. Do you like espresso?

322. - Yeah.

323. - Yeah? All right, Ozzy.

324. So now we're gonna make espresso.

325. It's a whole 'nother world,

326. so I'm gonna show you how to do that.

327. Cool? - Okay.

328. - All right. Here we go.

329. There it is.

330. - You want me to do this?

331. - Yeah. Are you ready to—

332. - Are you gonna make me a drink?

333. - I ll try, darling. - Yes.

334. - All right. Let's do this.

335. Stay right in the middle.

336. This sometimes gets a little tricky.

337. You're gonna lock it in.

338. Now for the fun part, we gotta steam some milk.

339. Just keep it rolling. And five, yes.

340. Pour from the heart. Boom.

341. - Thank you for the ass artwork latte, Ozzy.

342. - Cheers. - Cheers.

343. - That's good coffee.

344. - Dang. Crushed it.

345. - I like that.

346. You gonna drink that one too?

347. I like it. Taste your work.

348. - That's great, that is.

349. - Yeah. Watch out. You're gonna get amped up.

350. - I already am.

351. - All right.

352. Should we go taste some coffees on the other side?

353. - Oh, my God.

354. The latte I learned to make was awesome, dude.

355. - How many lattes did you end up drinking?

356. - It was just a lot.

357. After five or six, I lost count.

358. - So this the slurping part.

359. So when we're looking for new coffees,

360. when farms are sending us samples,

361. this is how we evaluate and we taste coffee

362. every single day, all day long.

363. So we kind of slurp, take a little bit here and-

364. We always have cup we spit out because

365. we're tasting anywhere, you know,

366. 20, 30, 40, 50 coffees a day.

367. Unless you want to drink it and like enjoy the buzz.

368. - No. No. - I mean, I —

369. - That's great over there.

370. - Yeah, right? Latte art champion.

371. - I'm shaking.

372. Nah, that's all right.

373. I think I just myself.

374. That's not bad, actually.

375. - That's the Indonesia.

376. This is the Hair Bender.

377. - Are you ready?

378. - Look at your hair, it's bending, man.

379. - . Now, that's the stuff for me.

380. - How'd you like the coffee at Stumptown?

381. - It was pretty cool.

382. - Yeah.

383. - The amount of coffee I must've drunk

384. must've had its effect,

385. because when I got back to the hotel,

386. I went straight to the gym,

387. got on the elliptical, and I worked out for hours.

388. It felt like I was training for the Olympics.

389. I was working out so fast that smoke was coming off my feet.

390. I was still cycling when I was in bed.

391. - Feeling better today.

392. Randomly my dad has gone and done my laundry.

393. He said that my clothes could be contaminated,

394. and so he needed to wash them.

395. The things that I just so happen to have

396. organized on our Pacific Northwest adventure

397. are probably the least things I want to do right now.

398. That's eat oysters.

399. This is gonna be interesting.

400. Ultimately we're gonna end up seeing my

401. friend Cindy who is a psychic medium.

402. I'm not driving that RV anymore.

403. I think when we get to Seattle I'm gonna offload it

404. and I think we should fly up to

405. Alaska, especially after this.

406. I think this is a sign.

407. - How you doing?

408. - Did something happen?

409. - I just want to know if you're still contagious or not.

410. I'm not worried.

411. - You don't appear to be worried that I'm contagious.

412. - No, no, I'm fine.

413. - I'm pretty sure you can take that off now.

414. - What?

415. - The — the get up.

416. I don't think you're gonna die.

417. - I think you're okay. You can take it off.

418. - Sure.

419. So you're feeling better?

420. - Much better.

421. - I was worried about you because you

422. 'cause didn't look too good.

423. I tell you what it is, it's that doll.

424. Ever since we've had that doll,

425. things are happening for the worst.

426. You gotta admit now.

427. - I don't see it.

428. - So you've been laid up because you were tired?

429. - I think I was laid up because I caught some kind of funky bug.

430. - Well, I haven't caught it.

431. - Thanks for doing the laundry.

432. - Don't need to thank me.

433. I just didn't want to get the Jack plague.

434. I've got to ask you this question.

435. What the are these?

436. - Those are styling.

437. - Stylish?

438. I wouldn't like to see you with these on if I had LSD.

439. - You're still down to see Cindy, the psychic medium?

440. - Absolutely. - Okay.

441. - But nobody should tell her anything about me.

442. - I mean, she obviously knows about you.

443. - Oh, yeah.

444. - But, like, when in — but that's the thing with

445. Cindy that's so impressive,

446. is because last time I had a reading with her,

447. she was like, Ozzy's dad wanted to

448. say sorry for not driving you to the hospital

449. when you cut yourself working.

450. - He never even had a car.

451. - You called him and he said,

452. you need to man up and take yourself or something.

453. - Yeah, yeah.

454. - And like, how the hell, I mean,

455. you never told me that.

456. - Yeah.

457. - So you ready to go to the oyster farm?

458. - Let's go.

459. - All right.

460. - I'll wait downstairs.

461. - Okay. Let me get ready.

462. - You fit enough to drive?

463. - I think so, yeah. If I eat something —

464. - Okay.

465. - And have a cup of coffee,

466. I should be good.

467. - Okay.

468. - Yeah, not gonna happen.

469. This is a nice little town.

470. - great.

471. What's this for?

472. - Here, grab a flag.

473. You gotta grab a flag before you cross.

474. Dad, smile.

475. - Another one.

476. - Here, I don't know if you noticed.

477. - Senior citizens. Oh,

478. - That's the funniest thing.

479. They give you flags.

480. Boogie Wagon.

481. I'll get her fired up.

482. This camper is mighty clean.

483. - You know why?

484. - Why?

485. - Because I've been on my

486. hands and knees decontaminating.

487. The steering wheel, everything.

488. - Oh, did you use the vacuum?

489. - Oh, yeah.

490. - How'd that feel?

491. - Oh, but it wasn't early in the morning.

492. - Oh, okay.

493. - I told you I was sick.

494. - It's miserable.

495. And you get that cold sweat.

496. - Oh, it's the worst.

497. - And you can't go —

498. - Yeah, like, oh, okay.

499. Well, no, we're gonna do this right now.

500. - Let's wait till he's in a traffic

501. jam and he can't get out.

502. - Yeah, seriously.

503. - There isn't a man walking the Earth -

504. - Oh, yeah.

505. - One time -

506. I go — that feeling comes and I go, oh, man.

507. - Yeah.

508. - So I go to this restaurant.

509. Oh, my God.

510. Beam me up, Scotty.

511. Kill me, anything.

512. - What did you do?

513. - I'm balancing on one leg,

514. trying to flush the toilet with my foot.

515. So I go — I look at the door

516. and it's got — if you want fun -

517. I go, no.

518. - But let me call Eric.

519. - hell.

520. - Well, I hope you don't get the sudden urge

521. to go when we're in Alaska because

522. we won't have the Boogie Wagon there.

523. - Can't we drive it to Alaska?

524. - You know how far it is?

525. It's gonna be about 74 hours to get there.

526. - It's - when we had the vintage bus,

527. you were going,

528. this is gonna be great driving this to Alaska.

529. - Listen, I think we should fly.

530. - I hate going on planes.

531. - Yep.

532. - Come on, Jack.

533. I love this now. It'd be so much fun.

534. You could even get a gun and go shooting up there.

535. - Yeah. I could bring one from home.

536. - Oh, okay.

537. You're just with me again.

538. So what's gonna happen to Robert when we go?

539. - Oh, Robert's coming with us.

540. - On the plane?

541. - Yeah.

542. - You can off.

543. - We'll mail him.

544. - Burn the thing.

545. Don't put on him on the plane.

546. I'm scared of it now.

547. It looks at me now and it's got the weird look on its face.

548. - So this place we're going, it's actually on oyster farm.

549. - I thought they came from the ocean.

550. - Yeah. But they have enclosures where they grow them.

551. Shina?

552. - Hey.

553. - How's it going? - Good. Nice to see you.

554. - Nice to see you too.

555. - Glad you found us.

556. Hi. Really nice to meet you, I'm Shina.

557. - Hi.

558. - We're gonna do a little shellfish farming.

559. We have clams, geoducks, and oysters here.

560. - Okay.

561. - What's a geoduck?

562. - It's a giant clam.

563. - Oh.

564. - I think you'll like it.

565. - Do we just need boots?

566. - You can go all the way and wear the full neoprene

567. monkey suit if you want to dig geoducks.

568. - I'll give that a whirl. Sure, why not?

569. - Okay, cool.

570. - Why did you want to go digging for

571. oysters and clams and all that?

572. - I mean, the main reason why I wanted

573. to go to the oyster farm, I'm a big fan of hunting

574. and fishing, and I like knowing how

575. to essentially find food.

576. - Oh, well, then.

577. - There we go.

578. - Have you ever been to an oyster farm before?

579. - I have never been to an oyster farm.

580. - How do those fit you? Are you good.

581. - Good, good.

582. - Good.

583. - How do I look?

584. - You look like a turd.

585. - Oh, thanks.

586. Now, is there like seasons, or is it year round?

587. - Right now is planting season.

588. I'll grab a whole cage of them.

589. - Yeah, buddy.

590. - Oh, wow, what are these?

591. - These are geoducks.

592. Does this remind you of anything?

593. Now is there a season or is it year round?

594. - Right now is planting season.

595. I'll grab a whole cage of them.

596. - Yeah, buddy.

597. - Oh, wow, what are these?

598. - These are geoducks.

599. Does this remind you of anything?

600. - Yeah, somebody's penis.

601. - It's kind of a little one.

602. - It's bigger than mine.

603. Are they alive?

604. - They're totally alive.

605. - It's weird.

606. - Don't kill him. You've gotta be gentle.

607. You know the routine.

608. - They take us five years to grow,

609. and the geoduck is the world's largest

610. burrowing clam.

611. They're pretty crazy, right?

612. - Are they tasty?

613. - They're delicious.

614. - Is geoduck like a nickname for them?

615. - It's a Salish sea word. It means to dig deeper.

616. - Ah.

617. - And we are gonna see.

618. When we see them on the beach,

619. you'll just see the very top part.

620. - Mm-hmm.

621. - And you are gonna get to get these out of the sand.

622. - Cool. - Yeah.

623. - I have never heard or seen anything like this before.

624. - Well, look, it's not every day you learn

625. of a new creature and then automatically eat it.

626. Let's go get some "geodicks."

627. - What time do you start working in the morning?

628. - The tide changes constantly with the moon,

629. and so this time of year we can farm

630. at a pleasant hour like this,

631. but in the winter they have to come out

632. and farm in the middle of the night

633. because that's when the tide's low.

634. - Oh.

635. - So let's look over here. These are our oyster bags.

636. This is Theo by the way. He's our oyster manager.

637. - Hey, how's it going, Theo. - Nice to meet you.

638. - Nice to meet you too.

639. - So we can grow an oyster here in about nine months.

640. - And how many would you grow?

641. - We can grow about two million.

642. - Oh, it goes all the way around.

643. - Yeah, it goes — you can see it where it stops down there.

644. - That's crazy.

645. - So do you gentlemen like oysters?

646. - You used to like them? And you like them.

647. - Yeah. We — yeah, me and my wife eat them quite a bit.

648. I was surprised you were telling me you

649. thought oysters were so gross.

650. Didn't you use to eat them all the time?

651. - Sit in the back of a limo?

652. - Yeah.

653. - I just have this visualization of you in like a white suit,

654. lots of cocaine, and a bunch of oysters.

655. - So, Ozzy, do you want to see Jack dig a geoduck?

656. - Oh, yeah, okay.

657. - These are geoducks. See them poking out?

658. - When you see like little spouts of water coming out,

659. what are they doing?

660. - All they do is suck water in, eat the phytoplankton in it

661. and squirt the rest out.

662. - Oh, okay. Oh, he's digging them out.

663. - So Gelio's gonna show you how to do it

664. because he's the pro.

665. - He's the pro? - Yeah.

666. - Geoduck digger. How's it going?

667. - How you doing?

668. - Yeah.

669. - Okay. I'm gonna go like this.

670. You see this hand?

671. This is when you control the water

672. when you get it into the ground.

673. - Okay.

674. - Just watch me, okay?

675. - Okay.

676. - When you feel it, you keep going.

677. - So you're using the water just to displace the dirt?

678. - Yeah.

679. Like that.

680. - Wow.

681. - Ready? - Let's do this.

682. - Right there?

683. - Yeah.

684. - Oh, boy.

685. - Okay.

686. Follow it. Can you feel it?

687. - Oh, yeah, I see it.

688. - Yeah, right there. It's going deep.

689. - Yeah, I got him now.

690. - So shoot the water straight to it.

691. - I got him. Whoo!

692. - Yeah. - Yeah.

693. - There you go. - That's what I'm talking—

694. - That's a good one. - Yeah.

695. - Is it erect?

696. Does that one looks like yours at home, Jack?

697. - I'm sure it's delicious.

698. - I wouldn't know, Jack.

699. That's your department, not mine.

700. - Okay.

701. - Wow, that's a — - That looks like you, Jack.

702. - All right, awesome. Hey, thank you.

703. - All right.

704. - Thank you, appreciate it.

705. - Well, we should grab some of these

706. to make for you guys, right?

707. - Okay.

708. - You want the big one?

709. - Uh, sure.

710. - Here, hold the geoduck.

711. - It's a good strong look right there.

712. Strong look.

713. - Do we have enough clams for dinner now, you guys?

714. Oh, yeah. There we go.

715. - Those are Olympia oysters.

716. They're actually native to around here.

717. - Do you know how to shuck oysters?

718. - Here you go.

719. That way we don't cut your hands.

720. - There you go.

721. - Twist the knife to pop it.

722. - There you go.

723. - It looks like he's done it a time or two.

724. - Lemon.

725. Tabasco.

726. - Here you go.

727. - How is it?

728. - Good.

729. - Remember when there was a time when

730. you told me that you didn't like oysters?

731. - For somebody who hadn't eaten oysters

732. for a very long time,

733. you sure as hell hadn't forgotten how to shuck them.

734. And you were like a doctor.

735. You had like scalpel, oyster, lemon.

736. You had like everything laid out and you were just like —

737. - Well, that's what you do.

738. - They were so good.

739. - Oh, yeah.

740. - Jack, I was gonna clean your geoduck for you.

741. - How does that work?

742. - We're gonna dip it in this pot of barely

743. boiling water to get the skin to wrinkle off.

744. - Okay.

745. - And so — - Ah!

746. - See how it's like — - Yeah, just kinda —

747. - Loose right there?

748. - Yeah.

749. - That's what we're looking for.

750. - Circumcision.

751. - Yup. That's what's about to happen.

752. So I'm gonna go over here to this

753. cutting board and slice it up for you.

754. - Oh, I can't look at this.

755. - So now we're just gonna run the knife

756. along the edge to cut the muscle.

757. - Wow.

758. - That thing really- Oh!

759. - There you go.

760. - My eyes are watering.

761. - It just comes off just like that.

762. - I bet it does.

763. It's like that museum we went to.

764. - You went to a museum like this?

765. - They had real penises in a box.

766. - Yeah. This is ready to eat.

767. We can slice it up and try it.

768. - Geoduck sashimi. - Yeah.

769. - I'm gonna Facetime Lisa real quick because

770. my wife's gonna want to see this.

771. Hi, Daddy!

772. - Hi! What's going on? Hey, Lise, look.

773. - Look, we just got geoduck,

774. which is like the biggest clam.

775. - Dad was saying, oh, no,

776. I don't want oysters.

777. Grabs an oyster and starts shucking them

778. like a mad man.

779. He's a mother shucker.

780. All right.

781. Just thought I'd rub it in that we're getting fresh oysters.

782. I got one right here.

783. - She's gonna smack you when you get

784. home for teasing her.

785. - Ta-da. No!

786. - All right. All right.

787. We're gonna go. I love you.

788. - All right. Let's some goo-age duck.

789. - This is actually the geoduck that you dug, Jack.

790. I'm gonna slice it as thin as we can.

791. - Mm, it's good.

792. It's kind of like a similar texture to almost

793. like calamari or something.

794. - Yeah.

795. - Oh, the geoduck's great.

796. It's awesome.

797. This is the first time I've discovered

798. a new creature and eaten it within 20 minutes.

799. I feel very tribal.

800. - I found you, I dug you, and now I'm gonna eat you.

801. - My friend Cindy, we're gonna go see

802. her right now, and Cindy is a psychic medium.

803. She communicates with people on the

804. other side and gives you messages.

805. - So I've know Cindy Kaza probably about two years now.

806. So I've had some readings with her,

807. and I've had interesting stuff come out through it.

808. So I figured it was a great opportunity for you

809. to have a reading.

810. - I was really excited to see her because you told me

811. so much about her.

812. I felt like I knew her in a way.

813. - For sure.

814. Grab Robert.

815. - You grab him.

816. He's your little evil thing.

817. There we go. 6A.

818. - Hello. - Hello.

819. - What's going on? - Come in.

820. - Dad, Cindy. Cindy, Dad.

821. - Nice to meet you.

822. - Hi. Nice to meet you.

823. - How are you, my dear?

824. - Good, how are you?

825. - Where do you want us?

826. - Okay. So how about you want to sit on the couch?

827. I'm gonna sit in that chair over there.

828. Is that good?

829. - Okay. Sure.

830. - Are you nervous?

831. - No.

832. - A little bit.

833. - You're excited? He's a little bit nervous?

834. - He's a little nervous.

835. - Have you ever had a reading before?

836. - Well, I had a tarot card reading.

837. - When did you become a believer in the

838. whole kind of psychic medium world?

839. - Well, I had a tarot card reading a long,

840. long time ago, and he said I was

841. gonna have three more children.

842. Well, the wife I was married to then had

843. had a hysterectomy, so she couldn't have any kids.

844. And I remember thinking, ah,

845. this guy's an idiot.

846. Cut to about ten years up the road.

847. I married your mom and had three more kids.

848. It's for real.

849. - What I do is talk to people who have passed away.

850. - Mm-hmm.

851. - But there might be two or three people that come in.

852. So all you have to say to me is yes or no.

853. You don't have to give me a lot of information.

854. - Okay. - All right?

855. - Did you guys want water, coffee?

856. - Coffee. - Coffee sounds good, yeah?

857. - Okay.

858. - When I was 10.

859. - Really?

860. - Yeah.

861. There was a girl in my elementary school

862. who died in a car accident, and after she died,

863. I woke up in the middle of the night,

864. and she was standing right by my bed,

865. like I'm looking at you.

866. - Wow.

867. - So what I want to do first is just start

868. by seeing whatever comes through naturally.

869. You ready?

870. - Yeah.

871. - Okay. Let me see.

872. You have a lot of people that are on the other side,

873. so let see.

874. - Oh. I wrote the song "See You on the Other Side."

875. - So I know your dad's on the other side.

876. - Yeah.

877. - It's interesting because his dedication to

878. his job was something that took away

879. from his time with his family.

880. - Yes. He worked nights.

881. - And he wishes he had been there more for you.

882. - Yes.

883. - Okay.

884. He makes me feel like there were a lot

885. of things that he wasn't able to say

886. before he died, and a big part of that

887. is his apology to you for not always understanding —

888. - Yeah. - Your path in life.

889. - I was always trying to get him to feel proud of me,

890. and he used to say things like,

891. "You'll never be any good if you don't have a trade."

892. He was against change.

893. - He was against change, but he is so proud of

894. who you've become,

895. but he didn't understand you when he was here.

896. - Yeah.

897. - Um, did you ever write a song about your dad?

898. - Yeah. "Junior's Eyes."

899. - Because — that's what it is.

900. Because he's really happy about that.

901. He sees it, the song that you wrote for him.

902. Your dad was a really good man,

903. he just was traditional and didn't understand,

904. and he's always gonna be there with you now.

905. He has been.

906. I think he's living vicariously through you.

907. - So I never met your dad, my grandfather.

908. What was your relationship like with him?

909. - I would like to have had a better one,

910. but it was a different world then, you know.

911. He had six kids.

912. We lived in a very tiny house.

913. He worked at night,

914. so when he was going to work,

915. I'd say hi and bye.

916. I looked up to him because

917. I always wanted to please him.

918. Being incredibly dyslexic,

919. he would make me feel okay about me.

920. You know, somebody once said to me,

921. what was the best gift you ever had in your life,

922. and then it hit me.

923. He always made me feel safe, you know?

924. He was a good man.

925. - There's a connection to somebody on

926. the other side too, it's a different man.

927. Phil? Phil?

928. - The only Phil I know is still alive.

929. - What is this with the ace of spades?

930. Does anybody have a tattoo or anything with

931. the ace of spades on them?

932. - Oh, yeah, a lot of people

933. - What is it?

934. I keep seeing the ace of spades.

935. - You know that was Motorhead's biggest hit

936. record, yeah "Ace of Spades."

937. - Phil, wasn't that Motorhead drummer?

938. - Yeah.

939. - Phil.

940. - The drummer of Motorhead.

941. Lemmy, the main man of Motorhead had an ace on his arm.

942. - On his arm.

943. - He was a character, Lemmy,

944. a larger than life character, and he was just a great guy.

945. - Mm-hmm.

946. - He wrote a lot of lyrics for me.

947. The thing of Lemmy Kilmister,

948. everybody thinks he was just a dumb,

949. heavy metal bass player,

950. but he was very well read.

951. He wrote "Mama I'm Coming Home,

952. "I Don't Want to Change the World,"

953. "See You on the Other side."

954. - Wow.

955. - If you had to describe a heavy metal guy,

956. Lemmy would come to mind.

957. - Yeah.

958. - I miss him.

959. Missed having him around.

960. - Could I read a piece of your jewelry?

961. Thanks.

962. There's a connection to Pat.

963. So you know Pat on the other side, yeah?

964. - Yeah.

965. - A friend of yours from growing up.

966. - Grew up with him.

967. - So is there any connection with the bracelet to Pat?

968. - Oh, I had it in silver and I said to Pat,

969. I'm gonna make that into gold.

970. - That's amazing.

971. - That's who you said that to?

972. - Yeah.

973. - Wow.

974. - On the other side, he's just back to his old self.

975. - Yeah.

976. - Playing pranks on people, you know, laughing.

977. - Yeah. We used to have some fun.

978. - Gosh. He keeps showing me breaking and entering.

979. Did he ever do that?

980. He's like breaking and entering,

981. that was his thing.

982. - Yeah, he did.

983. - Cindy, this is Robert.

984. I think he's good luck. Dad thinks he's bad luck.

985. - Well, ever since he's been on the bus,

986. we've had one bad thing after another, right?

987. - Let's see what Cindy picks up.

988. - I keep seeing some connection to, um, oh, boy.

989. Angel of death.

990. - Is that the road or-

991. What the was that?

992. - It sounded like something exploded.

993. - yeah, it did.

994. I don't know what that was.

995. - What I feel right away, okay,

996. is like I keep seeing some connection to um...

997. angels and watching out for your kids.

998. - See, I told you Robert was good.

999. He keeps thinking Robert's evil,

1000. and I'm telling him Robert's good.

1001. - Oh, that's funny.

1002. See, it's the angel thing.

1003. - Angel of death.

1004. - Not evil.

1005. - No. See? Robert's — Bobby —

1006. - You wait.

1007. - Bobby the doll is good.

1008. - You just wait.

1009. - That's really funny.

1010. - Thank you very much.

1011. - You're welcome.

1012. - God bless you.

1013. - God bless you too.

1014. - Cindy, thank you. That was awesome.

1015. - Thank you.

1016. - Bastard.

1017. I got to get this Robert out of here.

1018. Ah, I know where you're going now Robert.

1019. You've done it now.

1020. You ain't gonna harm anybody anymore.

1021. Good, he's gone.

1022. - The Boogie Wagon has served us well.

1023. It was our chariot for 5700 miles.

1024. I love it.

1025. It's amazing.

1026. It drives great, but you know what?

1027. I'm not driving it to Alaska,

1028. because that's a really long drive.

1029. I want to go and enjoy Alaska,

1030. and so I think we're just gonna fly.

1031. - I'm so bummed that we're not taking it.

1032. - I know, but trust me, it'll be better.

1033. I was dreading bringing up getting

1034. rid of the camper before our next trip to Alaska.

1035. - You know what?

1036. I loved that camper at the end of the day.

1037. - Where's Robert?

1038. - I don't know.

1039. - What have you done with him?

1040. - I haven't done anything with him.

1041. - What have you done with Robert?

1042. - I haven't done anything.

1043. - You will curse your life if

1044. you've done something to Robert.

1045. - I haven't done anything to him.

1046. - Is he in the glove box?

1047. - No.

1048. - So we'll drop off the camper

1049. and then head to the airport.

1050. - Write "for."

1051. You just wrote "Thanks the best ride."

1052. Cool.

1053. - Are you writing a book?

1054. - Yep, let's go.

1055. Let me just look for Robert one more time, okay?

1056. - Well, go on then.

1057. - There's his chair.

1058. Come on. Are you kidding me?

1059. You hid him, didn't you?

1060. - Not me.

1061. - You put him in the microwave.

1062. - No, I didn't.

1063. - Are you trying to curse this whole trip?

1064. - No.

1065. - We're flying, Dad.

1066. We're flying to Alaska now.

1067. - He was complaining it was a bit cold.

1068. - You've cursed our trip to Alaska now, that's it.

1069. - What do you mean?

1070. - He's coming.

1071. - The doll is stupid.

1072. - He'll sit next to you.

1073. - On the plane?

1074. - I got him a seat.

1075. - It says, Robert, his last name is The Haunted Doll.

1076. - hell.