Ozzy and Jack's World Detour 1x4

1. Come on.

2. You've got to be excited.

3. We're going to the Roswell crash site in New Mexico

4. than (bleep) aliens.

5. Fair enough. That really happened.

6. It's just drug crazed hippies that

7. say they came here.

8. Weren't you a drug crazed hippie?

9. And then we're also gonna do a bit of camping.

10. Camping?

11. I'm not gonna sleep in a (bleeping) tent!

12. It's gonna be more glamorous camping.

13. That sounds wonderful.

14. I'm really convinced. Really.

15. My name's Jack Osbourne and this...

16. is my dad Ozzy.

17. Heavy metal god.

18. Are you ready?

19. Prince of Darkness.

20. And surprisingly enough...

21. History nerd.

22. As the old saying goes...

23. Like father, like son.

24. So my dad and I are doing something

25. we've always wanted to do.

26. We're hitting the road.

27. Just the two of us and a bucket list

28. of places and things we've only ever

29. read about in books.

30. Oh my god, this is amazing.

31. Or seen on T. V. and the web.

32. Do you have your knife? Yeah.

33. 'Cause of all days, we might need it.

34. There are no roadies. No tour busses.

35. What the...

36. is this?

37. No boundaries.

38. Welcome to Ozzy and Jack's World Detour.

39. Let's rock and roll.

40. All right, we are in New Mexico,

41. home to Breaking Bad, alien crash sites,

42. and atomic weaponry.

43. I believe in U. F. O.'s, my dad doesn't

44. necessarily believe in U. F. O.'s.

45. I have been researching

46. Roswell since I was a kid.

47. I know lots about it.

48. Um, so it's really cool that

49. I finally get to go.

50. My hopes, dreams and aspirations are

51. we do get abducted by aliens and, um,

52. you know we unlock the secrets to the universe.

53. That's it.

54. So, we're going to uh, a museum that, it's,

55. it's basically a museum of atomic

56. history in America.

57. They've got B twenty-nine bombers there.

58. They've got rockets.

59. They've got Fatman and Little Boy.

60. Yeah. So, we're here and then old

61. Roswell is a bit of a drive for us

62. but I got this really suped up camper van.

63. It's like this four wheel drive, like, doomsday vehicle.

64. Wow.

65. And it's got a toilet. Okay.

66. All right, we're going to a campsite tonight.

67. Won't it be cold at night?

68. Yeah but this R. V. has, like, heating

69. and a hot shower.

70. Okay.

71. Should we, uh, hit the road? Yeah.

72. Here's our chariot.

73. Is—is-is this a joke?

74. No. It's the boogie wagon.

75. Where do I sit? In the back or the front?

76. No, you sit in the front.

77. I know you're used to a G four but

78. this will have to do.

79. What the (bleep) is this?

80. Dad, it's about bonding! Bonding?

81. About you and I farting together in

82. the same bubble.

83. This is like a (bleep) joke.

84. I think I'm dreaming.

85. This is where you'll be sleeping.

86. So, what do you think? Should we uh, get the...

87. Hit the road. Hit the road.

88. Take your seat. All right. All right.

89. We'll survive the... Oh yeah, sure.

90. It was better than that (bleep) thing.

91. Well, what did your mobile home

92. have besides mass amounts of alcohol,

93. women and drugs?

94. well, there was that.

95. See, I-I thought we were gonna

96. have a tour bus.

97. It's a tour camper van.

98. It's like a (bleep) peasant truck.

99. A peasant truck? No! It's like the

100. Breaking Bad meth camper van.

101. The good thing is there's a toilet you can

102. puke in in the back.

103. hell.

104. The reason why we had to get this

105. camper van is that where the supposed U. F. O.

106. crashed is out in the middle of nowhere

107. and you need a four by four to get there.

108. Well, what time are we gonna get there?

109. Well, we're going to get there tomorrow.

110. We're going to go to a campsite tonight. Just—

111. We're gonna camp out tonight?

112. Mmm hmm.

113. In this? Yeah.

114. Oh, (bleep).

115. I'll cuddle you and keep you warm.

116. You can (bleep) off.

117. It's like my career has took a dive.

118. Your career might be in, like, a bit of a

119. low spell right now, having to do this, but our

120. relationship is at an all-time high.

121. Well. It could be worse. It could be worse.

122. I could be stabbed.

123. I knew my dad wasn't the biggest

124. fan of camping but he is a big World War II

125. buff so before we hit the campsite,

126. we headed out to visit a nuclear museum

127. and I was pretty sure my dad would love it.

128. So, we're going to the National Museum

129. of Nuclear Science.

130. Do you know that New Mexico,

131. they call it like, an atomic ecosystem

132. because they mined the uranium here,

133. they build the weapons here and they test

134. the weapons here.

135. What is uranium?

136. I mean, it's an element.

137. No, an element. Oh.

138. Look at that bad boy.

139. Wow. It's a missile.

140. This is wild, man.

141. Wow, look up. These are big planes, man.

142. Big old plane.

143. Really, really cool. J-just mind blowing.

144. The size of everything. This is a nose cone.

145. Hello.

146. That's unbelievable. That—

147. look how big this is.

148. What is it, a submarine?

149. In the middle of New Mexico.

150. Below, there's about twenty four missiles.

151. Below here.

152. It's amazing we all build things to (bleep)

153. destroy each other.

154. Hey, electric funeral.

155. Jim.

156. Jim Walther: How are you, Jack?

157. I'm good. I'm Jack.

158. Good to see you. Good to see you too.

159. Hi Jim.

160. Mr. Osbourne, it's an honor.

161. I'm looking forward to looking around.

162. Well, this is an interesting place.

163. We have the largest collection of nuclear

164. weapons that people can see anywhere,

165. including the very first ones;

166. the ones that were created in the

167. Manhattan Project. Wow.

168. The Manhattan Project was a super secret,

169. American Army project to develop the atomic bomb.

170. And it came about because the United States was

171. attacked by the Japanese.

172. That's when the United States declared war

173. so that's when the Manhattan Project

174. went into High gear.

175. Why did they call it the Manhattan Project?

176. I think it was to confuse the enemy.

177. Yeah, okay.

178. So, if they caught wind of it they would

179. have thought it'd have been in New York?

180. Something. Yes.

181. So, it cost like a billion dollars back then?

182. Two and a half billion dollars—

183. Wow! —in nineteen forty five.

184. Wow.

185. If we keep on going and look over here—So,

186. this is Little Boy.

187. It's the one that used the highly enriched uranium.

188. It was simply a gun barrel. And it just—

189. Just banged two pieces together,

190. and the criticality came from—

191. —slamming them together.

192. Hmm. So, Fatman was the bomb

193. that was created using plutonium and

194. it was the one that was dropped on Nagasaki.

195. So, this one was dropped on Hiroshima,

196. on the sixth of August, and this one was dropped

197. on Nagasaki on the ninth of August.

198. Also, I've heard that dropping the

199. bomb saved lives.

200. I don't understand that.

201. Well, it did because if the United States

202. had had to invade the Japanese islands—

203. I see!

204. A million Americans might have died and

205. two million Japanese might have died

206. defending the island. Wow.

207. How many decibels loud is it when

208. it goes off?

209. I imagine it was very loud.

210. It must be like a mega, mega

211. Black Sabbath concert.

212. Yes! In fact, I saw your concert

213. when I was seventeen years old and

214. so I was— Wh-where?

215. Charleston, West Virginia.

216. I didn't tell my parents I went.

217. Do you remember seeing Jim at your concert?

218. Is that the rocket launcher one?

219. This is called Davy Crockett.

220. That's right. This thing could be launched

221. by a bazooka and it wouldn't even go far

222. enough away that it wouldn't kill

223. the people who shot it off.

224. Wow.

225. So, it was kind of a last ditch defense.

226. Thus the Davy Crockett. That's it. Yeah.

227. The Alamo defense. That's why it was called.

228. Yeah, in the Alamo. And so, this is the

229. smallest weapon we ever built.

230. You fire it and you kill yourself

231. at the same time.

232. Great device.

233. Sometimes you just gotta go out

234. with two birds flying high in a big (bleep) you.

235. There was one the was— The backpack.

236. —a backpack bomb.

237. The backpack bomb is really interesting

238. because there was a special forces team

239. that was trained to sky dive into an area.

240. And it had a mechanical timer on it, right?

241. Yeah.

242. And you set the mechanical timer

243. and they were given like, you know,

244. a few hours to get out on foot before it blew up.

245. Wow.

246. This is a trident C three and so this

247. was—this is inside a submarine.

248. Mmm hmm.

249. There's twenty-four of them inside

250. each submarine.

251. Wow! And they each have what,

252. eight war heads?

253. Eight war heads, that's correct.

254. They're called mervs, they're individual war heads.

255. Wow.

256. We're gonna go back in the vault.

257. And, I want to show you something that

258. we have back there that is very rare.

259. Okay.

260. But, it was something you could

261. have played with if you were a boy

262. in the fifties.

263. Okay. It's a penis.

264. It's not that.

265. Oh my. Inappropriate.

266. I want to show you something that

267. we have that is very rare.

268. So, we were at the National Museum

269. of Nuclear Science.

270. A quick side trip on our way to the

271. Roswell U. F. O. crash site.

272. Okay. If you guys would stand right here.

273. Okay. Michael Jackson.

274. There we go.

275. And the museum director had something special

276. to show us.

277. What is this? Check this out.

278. This was—

279. I read about this! —the most dangerous toy

280. you could but in nineteen fifty.

281. The Gilbert, U Two Thirty Eight Atomic

282. Energy Lab And this thing had real,

283. atomic material in it.

284. Wow. Radioactive material.

285. Weapons grade? Or not?

286. No, no. But, it was still radioactive.

287. SO, this had all of these experiments

288. that you could do as a boy in

289. nineteen fifty.

290. Cloud chamber could help you see electrons

291. and cosmic rays coming in.

292. There was a—a Geiger counter-like counting

293. machine here.

294. Pretty cool toy for nineteen fifty.

295. Not very many of them were made.

296. In fact, they never made money on

297. these at all.

298. Really? I am surprised!

299. The—the good thing about it was you knew

300. where the kids were all the time 'cause they

301. glowed in the dark.

302. You could just let them out in the

303. woods and you just see these glowing beings.

304. Where's Billy? Oh he's out— There he is!

305. Cool, all right Jim.

306. All righty. Thank you.

307. Thank you Jack, it's a pleasure.

308. Appreciate it. An honor.

309. God bless you.

310. Thank you, Ozzy. I've always been a big fan.

311. Oh, thank you. Since way, way back.

312. Thank you very much. Thank you, sir.

313. Leaving the nuclear museum

314. glowing behind us, we headed onwards

315. to partake in one of my favorite past time

316. Camping.

317. And, half of the fun of camping is

318. buying completely useless gear you'll

319. only ever use once.

320. You know, I have some sleeping bags, I have a

321. couple tents, but we still need to stock

322. up on some stuff.

323. I want to get a knife. Okay.

324. I've always had a thing for knives.

325. Stab. Stab. Stab.

326. They'll have plenty of stuff here.

327. They have electric socks.

328. What the (bleep) do I want electric socks for?

329. It keeps your feet warm. They're like little heating—

330. Knowing me, I'll blow myself up.

331. Why, at your age, have you suddenly

332. gone mad (bleep) on camping?

333. I've always loved camping.

334. I mean, when I was nineteen I spent like

335. six months living in a tent.

336. Every time that we'd go climbing in Yosemite

337. we'd spend, like, weeks in a tent.

338. On either natural rock ledges or on porter

339. ledges that you unfold, to, like, hammock.

340. What do you do when you've got to go for a piss?

341. You piss off the ledge.

342. You can (bleep) up.

343. Ooh.

344. This is cool.

345. This is (bleep) unbelievable.

346. Awesome. I think the guns are over here.

347. This is so (bleep) big. I know, it is.

348. Well, I'm set. Let's go. So, I got what I needed.

349. What are they? Slippers.

350. You can get the large if you want.

351. Yeah, we—well with that much cam—camouflage,

352. I'll blend in great.

353. Uh, right over here.

354. It will come with a leather sheath as well.

355. You like that one? Yep.

356. Yeah. You got, um, thermals?

357. Like, long underwear? I don't need them.

358. Are you sure? You're always cold.

359. The (bleep) is that?

360. You will not be cold in that.

361. I thought we'd get a little stove.

362. This is good. A nice, charcoal grill.

363. So you can have a fire without having a fire.

364. That's it, I think.

365. Yeah, that's all we really needed

366. because we've got everything else in the van.

367. Oh, yeah? You got it on your hip?

368. Yeah. Excited about camping?

369. No.

370. I love a good campfire. Is there a campfire?

371. There is flames ergo fire.

372. You know the whole thing about

373. camping is building a fire and you can't

374. (bleep) do that anymore.

375. Well, because it's just been so dry in

376. the south west, we can only cook with

377. charcoal or gas.

378. The concern is that like, if a hot ember flies off

379. and lands in a tree, it's like, everything

380. goes up. So—

381. It—it's (bleep) too cold for a hot ember

382. to fly anywhere.

383. So, you have the great fire of Albuquerque.

384. I'm in the corner, sucking my thumb, crying.

385. The future is ours, son.

386. Look out for site thirty-six. Thirty...

387. Oh! Thirty-six. Where?

388. Right here. See it. What is this place?

389. This is a place where dreams come to live.

390. All right.

391. Where do we actually park?

392. We're parked. This is it.

393. This is where we drop anchor.

394. Here? Yeah.

395. It's not very adventurous to me.

396. It's all in the spirit.

397. You keep saying that but what does

398. that mean?

399. I love the spirit of camping.

400. The outdoors, the quiet.

401. Oh, nice hat. You camp. I rock.

402. What the hell is that?

403. This is a bunch of camping gear.

404. We are going to pitch a tent.

405. Where'd you get a tent from?

406. I brought all this from home.

407. So, you and me are gonna pitch this.

408. What do I want to pitch a tent for?

409. I'm sleeping in there, aren't I?

410. You're sleeping in there, but I'm sleeping

411. in here and we're a team.

412. Grab that corner.

413. All right, so— Why am I doing this?

414. Here's what I need you to do.

415. If you can, I need you to get under here.

416. So, get in there. Sit. You got to get

417. in and sit down.

418. And what? Get in and sit down.

419. And then in the back corner, like, look—

420. What (bleep) back corner?

421. Feed it to the opposite corner.

422. So, I'm gonna— Which one? This corner?

423. Yeah, so I'm gonna stick it in this

424. corner and then I need you.

425. You get in here. I don't know what the

426. (bleep) you're talking about.

427. I must be insane.

428. Just let go, dad. Let it go 'cause

429. you're—you're messing.

430. Okay, we are nearly in business.

431. Dad, just go stand over there.

432. Ah! Home sweet home.

433. Do you want to get the charcoal

434. out and maybe light the um, barbecue?

435. No.

436. Okay. Do you want to at least go

437. get the food?

438. The fridge.

439. Jack! Yeah.

440. What do you want me to bring?

441. The sausages?

442. Yeah, just bring everything out for dinner.

443. Oh (bleep).

444. What?

445. What are you going to cook it in?

446. Uh, the grill. Okay.

447. Let's get coals going 'cause this takes a while.

448. All righty.

449. Let's see if I can.

450. Wow, Jack. We have fire.

451. You like that?

452. All right, so you tend to that.

453. You kind of block the wind.

454. All right, I'll block the wind.

455. You can't even block the wind

456. without complaining.

457. Jack, it ain't my scene, dude.

458. (Bleep) camping.

459. Here you go. Get in front of the fire.

460. I am. (Bleep) November out here.

461. I'm must be nuts.

462. I knew it was gonna be cold,

463. I just didn't know it was gonna be this windy.

464. But, I'm hoping that the wind will

465. die down when the sun fully sets.

466. No, it won't.

467. We're gonna freeze our asses off.

468. I'm gonna get sick, your mum's gonna go mad.

469. Well, nothing new there. Oh yeah.

470. As the sun set, it got colder and colder.

471. Whose idea was this to go camping?

472. Now, I'm gonna cook and uh, I'll

473. be right back.

474. You sit tight.

475. My dad's getting soft in his old age,

476. you know?

477. What happened? Here I am, rolled up

478. sleeves, out here braving the weather.

479. Cooking our dinner. Just, can't hang anymore.

480. This is pitiful.

481. This is absolutely pitiful. It's a tough life.

482. Ahoy. Here we go.

483. Love this (bleep).

484. You got layers on. You got thermals.

485. You're eating.

486. I have survived in snow caves.

487. I have survived in jungles— nothing

488. but my childlike sense of wonder

489. and a bit of true grit.

490. Okay. You're (bleep) nuts.

491. You definitely are an Osbourne.

492. Without any shadow of a doubt.

493. I cooked you the perfect steak.

494. Will I? Well, yeah. Absolutely.

495. Yeah, I'll be fine.

496. Yeah.

497. Early night? Early night.

498. Dawn. Sunrise. Go for a jog.

499. Abso-(bleep)-lutely.

500. My son, I love ya.

501. Yeah, I mean I've camped in, like, the snow.

502. I've camped in snow caves and ya know,

503. spent weeks in tents.

504. You're going to sleep.

505. So yeah, camping like this does not

506. bother me at all.

507. Like, I'm not fazed by this.

508. I will sleep just as well out here

509. if not better than I would at a hotel.

510. I'm not bothered.

511. It was morning and somehow, I survived

512. a night of sub-zero weather while my dad

513. enjoyed the comfort of the camper van

514. he so loathed.

515. There you are!

516. hell. Morning. How are ya?

517. I'm good, how you doing?

518. I'm just making some tea.

519. Do you want some tea?

520. Oh, I would love some tea.

521. I was freezing my ass off last night.

522. Imagine that.

523. I mean, did you feel the wind in here at all?

524. No...

525. I mean, it literally felt like a

526. rhino was coming up to my tent and

527. just shaking it.

528. It's good for the soul.

529. Makes you appreciate what you have at home.

530. Oh yeah. You know that I,

531. I had this weird dream last night, you know?

532. I dreamt..

533. That wasn't a dream. At like four thirty

534. in the morning I was trying to get in here,

535. but you locked the (bleep) door.

536. Oh. R-really? Yes.

537. Sorry.

538. At one point, when I woke up,

539. I had snot frozen.

540. Frozen all onto my mustache 'cause it

541. was like that cold in my tent.

542. (Bleep) hell. And I was like, gee.

543. And that's when I came to be like,

544. (bleep) this, I'm getting in that camper and I came to,

545. like, try and open the door and you'd locked it.

546. I didn't want to bang to because

547. I didn't want to wake you.

548. I (beep) was asleep!

549. Why would you lock the camper when we're

550. in the middle of nowhere?

551. If I hear you screaming, hey, it's the

552. spirit of camping.

553. You ready to go?

554. I'm ready, yeah. High five.

555. This is a bit ridiculous, freezing our asses off.

556. I will concur with that statement.

557. But, that hat looked good on you.

558. Although a little tired, we went back

559. on the road to Roswell, where I had

560. hope to prove to my dad that aliens did exist.

561. Ugh, traffic. No!

562. No! No, no traffic! Please god, no traffic!

563. Dad (bleep), why is there traffic?

564. We're in the middle of (bleep) nowhere.

565. Why is this happening to us?

566. Why is this (bleep) happening to me?

567. Vacuum cleaners and (bleep) traffic jams.

568. What? What is it about vacuums that you hate?

569. You can't think straight when you're

570. around it (bleep) things.

571. I'm going to get you a leaf blower for Christmas.

572. (bleep) off. You'll be wearing it

573. up your ass.

574. With the traffic jam in our rear view mirror,

575. our next stop was petroglyph national monument.

576. What's a petroglyph, do you know?

577. A petroglyph is kind of like carving.

578. It's like, in stone.

579. So, I thought we'd go see what it's all about.

580. Yeah, okay.

581. You know, the reason I—I'm kind of

582. into the petroglyphs is they have like,

583. humans and then they have beings with like,

584. big heads and big eyes and—and some of them,

585. they have like, things that look like—

586. They did. But they also draw these

587. spaceship looking things

588. What do you mean? This is not high tech.

589. No! Whoa look— If you did, it worked.

590. The only good thing is they've got a— they've

591. That's a great thing.

592. Petroglyph National Monument, next exit.

593. It's a (bleep) playground!

594. Well, just beyond the playground is these petroglyphs.

595. Now, it says to walk through the playground

596. but I think this is kind of weird,

597. that to enter a national park, we have to walk through

598. a children's playground.

599. They heard you were coming.

600. You know where you're going?

601. I'm just following the path.

602. Yeah. Oh yeah. They're just—it's

603. too cold for them.

604. Well, they would be in the sun right now.

605. There's a snake right there!

606. (bleep) off.

607. I'm sixty-seven years of age.

608. You're like a (bleep) gazelle.

609. Nimble. Fast.

610. Oh look.

611. Look at the eye.

612. Where's the eye? What eye?

613. It looks like an eye.

614. What eye? Look at the rock.

615. Although it kind of does look like a U. F. O., yeah.

616. Oh and look! Look at this one, right here.

617. See this rock right here? Oh yeah.

618. Look at like the horns and the face.

619. It's a cow!

620. So, there's a place where a lot of

621. different Native Americans would congregate.

622. And have sex.

623. I'm sure, maybe, sex has happened here.

624. Look, what's this?

625. This looks like a weird, humanoid thing.

626. That looks like a weird little alien.

627. No, it looks like a skull!

628. Doesn't that look like a skull?

629. That too. Look at that.

630. Whoa. That's alien. It looks like a robot.

631. Guy with a square head and big ears.

632. Wow, that's kind of creepy.

633. That's a definite, ominous looking face.

634. No. there's no way.

635. They've got pictures like this fifty years ago.

636. All right. Fifty-one.

637. So uh, we're headed down to Roswell.

638. You excited to get there?

639. > By the way, I brought our drone with us.

640. In fact, I brought two.

641. I thought it would be good to get some

642. practice in with it.

643. I thought it would be a good tool to get,

644. like, a really solid birds-eye view

645. of the crash site.

646. Because we've got the camera on it.

647. I don't know, it's been sixty years but

648. there might be some— Indentation or—

649. Yeah, I'd imagine if something was like,

650. travelling the speed of light and then blew up...

651. Mmm hmm.

652. Well, no. There's been other U. F. O.

653. sightings here since.

654. Do you want me to break you down the theory?

655. Yeah.

656. So, the theory goes like this.

657. America tests a first nuclear weapon in

658. nineteen forty-five. In White Sands, New Mexico.

659. Yeah.

660. All of its nuclear bombers are here

661. and weaponry is all in New Mexico

662. at this time period.

663. Cause there was no missiles in nineteen

664. forty seven.

665. One night a mysterious thing crashes.

666. So, the first statement released was

667. it was a U. F. O. The first statement.

668. They actually said, Yep. A U. F. O. crashed

669. and the air force admits to it.

670. Well, then the next couple days, they said it

671. was a weather balloon.

672. Then like, twenty years later, they said it

673. was a high altitude balloon that was

674. used as, like, a spy balloon.

675. Then, in the nineties, they released a statement

676. saying actually, all that was,

677. it was high altitude sky divers.

678. What? That's bollocks.

679. Now, the interesting thing about all four of

680. those excuses, right.

681. The only one that has witnesses, and by

682. witnesses—over four hundred people—

683. is the U. F. O. one.

684. The U. F. O. story. No one else has ever

685. come forward to be like, Yeah, it was a balloon.

686. But someone would have had some concrete

687. ev, proof by now.

688. Now, there's a guy who runs a mortuary

689. down here, right.

690. He got called from the government and he had

691. to deliver them four child-size coffins.

692. Mmm.

693. Which is interesting. Why would—

694. why would you need—why would the military

695. need child coffins?

696. With my dad having completed his lesson

697. in Roswell U. F. O. one oh one, the time had

698. come for me to study up... on how the hell

699. to fly a drone.

700. Operation drone flight.

701. The plan was to fly an expensive camera

702. equipped drone over the Roswell crash site.

703. But, I figured it would be smart to

704. learn the basics on a more cost effective model.

705. Well, no, this is an implement to observe.

706. Stand back. Okay.

707. The controls are reversed!

708. Ah!

709. (Bleep) hell. It's like a (bleep) insect,

710. isn't it?

711. What the (bleep) is wrong? This thing sucks.

712. Oh, oh, oh! Did you see? Do it again and see.

713. No, dad, your hair is going to get

714. caught in that.

715. No, I've got (bleep) legs.

716. No, dad, your hair.

717. Like, look how close your hair is to it.

718. Okay. I need a haircut.

719. Ah!

720. See? You just (bleep) ruined it.

721. I haven't (bleep) done anything.

722. Oh. All right.

723. Wow.

724. It's (bleep).

725. Rock, paper, scissor. Who's going to get it.

726. You can (bleep) off.

727. So, I finally made it to Roswell New Mexico.

728. I have been reading about this place since

729. I was ten or eleven.

730. Me and my dad are going to be going to

731. the International U. F. O. Museum and we're

732. going to sit down and have a chat

733. with a man named Frank Kimbler,

734. who happens to be a geologist and

735. U.F.O. expert.

736. Cool thing with him is that 'cause he's

737. a geologist, he's actually studying the

738. physical crash site, like, that's

739. his—his area.

740. Um, and I want to go to the crash site, I do.

741. So, good times.

742. Let's go Roswell, let's go.

743. Howdy?

744. Hello. Sleep good?

745. I did, did you?

746. I went unconscious for about six hours.

747. Me too. Do you have your knife?

748. Yes.

749. 'Cause of all days, we might need it.

750. For what? Close encounters.

751. Oh you are (bleep) stoned, you are.

752. Oh, it's sunny!

753. You know what? What?

754. This is my first time ever in (bleep) Roswell.

755. Where are the aliens? We've been taken up.

756. This is crazy. Look at all the alien stuff.

757. Alien spacecraft. Flying saucers.

758. Heh, look, Area Fifty One.

759. Could there be more alien shit here?

760. Look. Those are great.

761. I'm not saying it's aliens, but it's

762. literally the alien zone. Like—

763. We're in the zone, baby.

764. It's really (bleep) weird to—to be in

765. Roswell right now.

766. Yeah. I mean, I've literally read about

767. this place for ages.

768. I know. I have mixed feelings.

769. Nobody is absolutely, categorically...

770. Convinced you. convinced me.

771. I firmly believe that we only exist

772. because some extraterrestrial being

773. came here and decided to—

774. Experiment. Experiment. Exactly.

775. I mean, I think it's B. S.

776. The U. F. O. Museum was created as a direct

777. result of the alleged U. F. O. crash near Roswell.

778. This is cool.

779. It's visited by thousands of people each year,

780. who share the same curiosity about the

781. existence of extraterrestrials.

782. This is weird.

783. I knew my dad was a skeptic,

784. so I hoped that Frank Kimbler, our U. F. O.

785. expert, could give us a tour and, hopefully,

786. open my dad's mind a bit.

787. It's off. My kind of people, they like to smoke.

788. Oh look, this is all, this is White Sands

789. testing range.

790. So, this is where they test all the missiles.

791. How's it going? You must be Frank.

792. Frank Kimbler: I'm Frank!

793. Nice to meet you, Frank. Nice to meet you too.

794. So Frank, you've been researching this for

795. a long time I take it. Right?

796. I've always been interested, a little bit,

797. in U. F. O. s, but started reading all the

798. books and all the documentaries and everything

799. and then what I did was, I went out there

800. and started using some of my science knowledge

801. as a geology instructor. Mmm hmm.

802. I went out to the—to the crash site and um,

803. the artifacts that I found are kind of unique.

804. They're pieces of metal and uh, they basically

805. looked very similar to— aluminum trash is

806. what it looks like. Mmm hmm.

807. However, the crash site is—is clean.

808. nobody camps out there and there's no

809. uh, there's nothing out there except cows.

810. It's remote.

811. And then, some of the mysterious things that

812. have happened around the objects that I have

813. found—Uh, they have disappeared in the mail.

814. I had one, basically I sent it to a university,

815. and it—it disappeared out of the package.

816. You know, my computer's been hacked a couple

817. of times and uh, I've actually had

818. laser beams come into my house.

819. It scared my family to death.

820. They said, Dad, what are you doing?

821. I, no, it wasn't Halloween.

822. I think they were trying to listen in by

823. reflecting laser light off the windows.

824. Is it the DIA.? Is it the NSA?

825. Is it, like, what agency would that fall under?

826. I have no idea.

827. And things disappearing, it's called...

828. I mean— I'm not saying it's an alien,

829. but it's an alien.

830. There you go, you're starting to

831. believe already.

832. We're going to get you into cosplay pretty soon.

833. Just wait.

834. What? Don't worry about it.

835. The museum at one time, offered a million dollars

836. for any pieces of the Roswell spacecraft.

837. I think there are.

838. Oh, (bleep) hell. Okay, Jack.

839. So, what do you think about the story?

840. Something definitely crashed which was of

841. unknown origin.

842. I think we're on the same wavelength

843. on that one because that was the belief

844. that I had.

845. What about your dad? What does he...

846. Dad, what do you think?

847. It's weird. It's too strange.

848. Aw, we gotta take you out there.

849. I'm in.

850. We might be able to convince you.

851. Right. We might make a believer out of him.

852. We might—we might make a believer out of you.

853. So, let me ask you a question.

854. Do you believe in that stuff?

855. I think it most definitely...

856. I mean, all I'm saying—

857. I say most definitely. I guess I—

858. Something happened very peculiarly.

859. I guess I choose to believe in the narrative

860. that it was something explainable happened.

861. After over twenty years of dreaming

862. of seeing the alien crash site at Roswell,

863. I was finally going to step on hallowed ground.

864. Frank, who we met at the U. F. O. Museum,

865. was taking us along with U. F. O. expert, Don Schmitt.

866. Now, the good thing about this guy, Don,

867. is that he's done so much research and

868. he's interviewed so many people.

869. I mean, he wrote like, the book.

870. The Bible.

871. Yeah. A book that he wrote, it's like,

872. the one everyone refers to.

873. Yeah, okay.

874. Don. Don Schmitt: Jack.

875. What's going on gentlemen? Follow us.

876. All right.

877. It was a little weird though,

878. when we pulled up to Don Schmitt and

879. Frank and they just kind of like,

880. eyes forward, Follow us.

881. (Bleep) aliens.

882. Yes. I'm going to take you out

883. to the desert and leave you forever.

884. Where the (bleep) are we going?

885. Well, I would like to officially say,

886. whether you'll admit it or not, the only reason

887. we're actually out here is basically

888. because of you.

889. Well, you're the one who bought me all of the

890. UFO books back in the day. No! No, no, no, no.

891. So, technically, it's your fault.

892. I'm not saying—

893. It's your fault you're (bleep) insane with aliens!

894. It's all bollocks, if you ask me.

895. I can tell you now, without going,

896. This is history.

897. This is stupid.

898. Greetings.

899. Like a greetings of aliens from outer space, right.

900. This is what's called the debris field.

901. Okay.

902. So, this is—this is the spot.

903. Wow. Are we like, currently standing

904. in it or is it—?

905. We're right in the heart of it.

906. The upper pinnacle would have been just

907. right in through here.

908. I told you, it would be nothing

909. but a flat field for as far as you can see.

910. You could have been anywhere.

911. How, I mean, how often do you think people come

912. on out here and are rooting around?

913. We've never revealed the uh, coordinates.

914. Only us.

915. And as you observed, who's going to find their

916. way out here.

917. Yeah. I mean, you literally have

918. to know, like pinpoint.

919. Right.

920. When we met those guys for the

921. first time, how do we not know if they were

922. a pair of (bleep) serial killers?

923. They took us to this remote place,

924. killed us, buried us.

925. Nobody would ever have found us like

926. they've never found the (bleep) alien space craft.

927. Former President Bill Clinton.

928. He still is lamenting the fact that he spent

929. eight years in the oval office and he

930. couldn't get the truth about what happened here.

931. Wow.

932. I mean, he talked specifically about Roswell.

933. Kind of makes you wonder who, who's in command.

934. Yeah.

935. This area here is where the witnesses

936. described the gauge.

937. Something artificial skipped across the ground.

938. And so, I'm guessing, however many miles in that

939. direction is where the ship ended up?

940. Well, three quarters of a mile.

941. Mmm hmm.

942. And that stuff was thin and light weight.

943. You know, there's reports of it blowing,

944. getting stuck in the weeds and up against

945. the fence line.

946. All, and it's three quarters of a mile to the fence line

947. so that stuff was like, blowing in the wind,

948. scattered several hundred yards' wide and three

949. quarters of a mile long.

950. All this work that I've done out here, I've got,

951. I've got some pieces I'd like to show you.

952. They're, they're sitting back in the truck.

953. I'd love to check it out.

954. Here's one of the military buttons.

955. Wow.

956. And uh, so this is just a tiny piece but uh,

957. it's a phenolic epoxy resin. It shouldn't be here.

958. They didn't have it in forty seven.

959. This I don't, it hasn't been tested.

960. That's a good question.

961. The only thing I know is that it happened later

962. than nineteen forty seven.

963. But it doesn't not-not prove anything.

964. If you want to believe, you'll believe

965. that pigs can fly, you know?

966. If you put a pig in an airplane, they can fly.

967. And this is the cool stuff, right here.

968. I'm gonna take this out.

969. This has been tested and this is the stuff

970. that has almost three percent molybdenum

971. in it which is absolutely impossible.

972. The isotope signature for that is earth but

973. the composition is unknown.

974. You wanted to say aluminum, didn't you?

975. You are a legal alien.

976. Oh, here the (bleep) you go.

977. Gentlemen, thanks you so much for the uh,

978. guided tour of the history of Roswell U. F. O. crash.

979. Exactly. Oh, you're welcome.

980. Doesn't have a trail map, does it but it, uh—

981. No, it doesn't.

982. And uh, guys do you mind if we stick around

983. and play with the drone for a bit?

984. Oh, no.

985. As long as the wind doesn't take it away.

986. All right. Have fun.

987. As long as we don't crash it either.

988. Let's try this bad boy out.

989. I wanna see if we can spot anything

990. from the sky.

991. Stand back because if this thing turns on,

992. it will take your finger off.

993. All right, here we go.

994. Stand back! Stand back! We're recording.

995. It's a little wobbly.

996. It sounds like a (bleep) vacuum cleaner

997. and I (bleep) hate them.

998. I'm really not good at flying this drone.

999. Look at it, he's all like—

1000. Tell you, it's having a nervous breakdown.

1001. Going down, oh shit. Umm.

1002. U. F. O.! U. F. O.!

1003. Beam me up, Scotty.

1004. Should we see how high we can get it.

1005. Seventy-five, eighty. Wow, a hundred meters.

1006. Robotic voice: Maximum flight altitude reached.

1007. Can you imagine this whole area littered

1008. with debris from some alien space ship?

1009. One from ten. Ten being a hundred percent

1010. believer, one being like, No, it's just a piss take.

1011. I'm thinking about a six.

1012. I'm—I'm at a nine.

1013. No, I'm at a nine. I'm not a hundred percent,

1014. 'cause you can never be a hundred percent,

1015. but I'mpretty damn close.

1016. I'm a believer. I think that the truth is out there.

1017. I think that you're (bleep) out there.

1018. Didn't you write a song called Believer?

1019. Yes, but it wasn't about —

1020. it wasn't about believing in aliens.

1021. I interpreted that as about believing

1022. in aliens.

1023. (Bleep), you gotta follow the roads.

1024. Oops.

1025. (Bleep) hell, Jack.

1026. I mean, I wasn't exactly going fast.

1027. Look, four-wheel drive pile of (bleep).