Ozzy and Jack's World Detour 1x3

1. Jack Osbourne: You excited about going to South Dakota?

2. Ozzy Osbourne: I thought we were

3. going to the wild west?

4. Well, South Dakota is the wild west.

5. They struck gold there, that's where gunslingers

6. would hang out in Deadwood.

7. Outlaws, gold, guns.

8. It doesn't get more western than that.

9. That sounds wonderful.

10. South Dakota is also home to one of the,

11. uh, places on our bucket list.

12. Nope.

13. Nope, no. That's in Vegas.

14. Mount Rushmore!

15. Mount Rushmore, right, right!

16. Yeah.

17. You ever gotten stoned with a president?

18. No.

19. You're about to get stoned with four presidents.

20. Well. I think we load up the wagon,

21. we saddle up the horses. Let's ride to the west.

22. How long will it take us to get there?

23. Sixteen months, if we leave now.

24. My name's Jack Osbourne and this...

25. is my dad, Ozzy.

26. Heavy metal god.

27. Ozzy Osbourne: Are you ready?

28. Prince of Darkness.

29. And surprisingly enough...

30. History nerd.

31. As the old saying goes...

32. Like father, like son.

33. So my dad and I are doing something we've

34. always wanted to do.

35. We're hitting the road.

36. Just the two of us and a bucket list of places

37. and things we've only ever read about in books.

38. Oh my god, this is amazing.

39. Or seen on TV and the web.

40. Do you have your knife? Yeah.

41. Cause of all days, we might need it.

42. There are no roadies. No tour busses.

43. What the is this?

44. No boundaries.

45. Welcome to Ozzy and Jack's World Detour.

46. Let's rock and roll.

47. Badlands.

48. Badlands.

49. So, my dad's a rock star and he's

50. always had a huge entourage and

51. a well-oiled machine backing him up.

52. But on these trips, I'm the tour manager.

53. We're doing—

54. Mount Rushmore. Mount Rushmore.

55. I know.

56. Why do you want to go see Mount Rushmore?

57. Why's it on your bucket list?

58. Out, out on the road, my band went to see it.

59. I think I must've been drunk or something.

60. No, but because we can't walk up to it,

61. we're gonna try and get a helicopter to

62. take us up and we'll fly around.

63. Really? Why not?

64. I mean, statistically saying we're more likely

65. to die driving than in a helicopter.

66. They could change it to Mount Ozz-more

67. if you die there.

68. First stop on our journey to Mount Rushmore:

69. Badlands National Park.

70. We really like the name.

71. We are in the badlands, bruv.

72. The not so good lands.

73. That's actually where Michael Jackson

74. wrote his 'Bad' album.

75. Station closed.

76. Pay us fee when you exit the park.

77. Oh, that's a badly attended kiosk.

78. Oh look. That looks like some badland to me.

79. View point ahead. Wow.

80. Wow! That's unbelievable, that is.

81. That's why the land was bad,

82. cuz you couldn't really cross it.

83. Oh I get it now. Wow!

84. This is really bad.

85. Thirty-seven million years ago,

86. the ancient crystalline core of the black hills,

87. visible to the west...

88. Where's the west?

89. How the do I know?

90. So I guess seventy-five million years ago,

91. the bad lands were completely underwater.

92. Then, when the oceans went away,

93. these volcanoes started blowing up

94. and spewing ash everywhere.

95. Everything left behind by the ocean

96. and the volcanoes piled up for millions

97. of years and voila, Badlands.

98. They find, like, saber-tooth tiger remains here.

99. They find triceratops, tyrannosaurus rex.

100. I mean there's tons of dinosaur fossils that

101. they pull up from this whole area.

102. Rabbit.

103. More rabbit. Rabbits must like it here.

104. Rabbit. Like that's what you

105. took away from this beautiful place?

106. Think we can get some Badland-age.

107. I'll send it to Mum.

108. Hi.

109. Sure.

110. Thank you!

111. Where are you from? China.

112. Wherever we go,

113. even in the South Dakota wilderness.

114. Dad you wanna take one with these kids?

115. These little kids.

116. Sure. Absolutely.

117. My dad is still Ozzy and the fans,

118. they'll find him.

119. We're on our honeymoon!

120. Oh, you are?

121. Yes. Yeah!

122. Wow, congratulations.

123. Uh oh.

124. Thank you very much!

125. You're welcome.

126. Okay, now I know why it's called Badlands because...

127. They wouldn't have been able to pass it.

128. All right, let's get going.

129. We got a lot to do before we get to Mount Rushmore.

130. No, no helicopters. No helicopters today.

131. It says pay on the exit. Please proceed.

132. Just go.

133. Yeah but like where do we pay? It said—

134. You don't pay, just go.

135. Well no, it said— when we pulled in it

136. said you have to pay.

137. All right. It. It's his fault.

138. Would you quit being bad at Badlands?

139. With an amazing view and free park admission

140. behind us, my dad and I hit the road again.

141. Do you want some five cent coffee?

142. I want a five cent piss.

143. And just like on every road trip when you

144. have a chance to stop for a cup of coffee

145. and a pee break, ya take it.

146. This is kind of cool.

147. My four-year-old daughter Pearl is crazy

148. about the souvenirs I bring her back from

149. the road and nothing says authentic

150. wild west like a jackalope.

151. Look at these.

152. Oh wow.

153. I'm gonna get one of these for Pearl.

154. A jackalope.

155. It's a tough choice. Tough choice.

156. I think I might go with this guy.

157. I'd be scared of him at night.

158. I like a big rack on my jackalope.

159. Do you want me to get anything else

160. before we leave town?

161. Hello. Good talk. Dad.

162. I feel like I got a good night's sleep though

163. I did get a text message from my dad.

164. "Jack, I've just killed a great big

165. spider that was crawling across my bedside table."

166. My response was, that,"

167. exclamation mark, exclamation mark,

168. exclamation mark and so on.

169. His response: "It has really shook the out

170. of me and I can't turn the lights off.

171. And now, it sucks."

172. Morn— Let's see the spider.

173. Morning. Let's see the spider.

174. Oh, it's gone.

175. Well where was it?

176. On the side of the bed!

177. A big thing it was.

178. Really?

179. I went-

180. 'Bout that big?

181. Was—was it a house spider or was it like uh—

182. Maybe he was just a fan and he

183. wanted an autograph.

184. freaked me out, man.

185. While I was researching out trip to Mount Rushmore,

186. I saw that we'd be passing through gold country.

187. And, I found this guy on the internet

188. who actually pans for gold.

189. And gold happens to be something that I knew

190. would appeal to my father.

191. Now this guy I spoke to,

192. his name is Rattlesnake Randy.

193. And he's been prospecting in these hills for

194. a long time and uh, when I spoke—

195. —Well no when I was talking' to him I was

196. like, " What's the likelihood of finding gold?"

197. He said there'd be gold in dem dere hills.

198. So this whole area was settled pretty

199. much because of gold.

200. People have been prospecting here since

201. like the late eighteen hundreds.

202. I think it is.

203. And apparently, General Custer originally

204. discovered gold in this area and because of

205. that people started flocking to the area

206. to strike it rich.

207. Yeah. Big time.

208. And I read about this one mine that produced

209. over two tons of gold.

210. Wow.

211. Um.

212. When I spoke to him he said we'll be digging.

213. In a river by the sound of it.

214. You can dig on the river bank and stuff.

215. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

216. And sift through, pan.

217. I was really excited to go panning for gold.

218. My expectations were, I thought we'd be knee deep

219. in river water and we ain't gonna get diddly.

220. Really?

221. Numerous times you've mentioned the

222. bestiality that occurred in the wild west.

223. Uh huh.

224. So, somewhere around here we are meant

225. to meet Rattlesnake Randy, as he is known.

226. I can smell the gold from here.

227. Oh! Here's his uh. Jeep Wrangler.

228. Rattlesnake Randy? It's nice to meet you.

229. Rattlesnake Randy: How yah doing?

230. This is kind of a secret area of mine

231. that I want to kind of keep secret.

232. If we could uh, just turn the cameras

233. off for now until we get down to the spot?

234. We can do that.

235. All right.

236. Awesome. Appreciate that.

237. No problem, Randy.

238. All right.

239. All right.

240. Keep the cameras out! We'll be back!

241. Let's find the gold!

242. We'll come back tonight.

243. And we'll come hit him with

244. a pan and steal it.

245. All righty.

246. Let's go find some gold!

247. Right. Okay, we got some tens here.

248. Tens for you.

249. I—I thought you said there's no water!

250. Well there is but you— we have to cross it.

251. We have to cross over a stream to—

252. Thank you sir!

253. Little bit of water. Not much.

254. Little bit of water, not a lot.

255. Weíre not like wading through rapids.

256. You said there was no water!

257. Gold is found in rivers. Well, close to.

258. No water.

259. It's all right. It's honestly, it's like a

260. little—it'll be a little stream.

261. Are you ready?

262. Yep.

263. Let's go do it!

264. Let's, let's go get wet!

265. We won't get too wet.

266. Famous last words. Famous last words.

267. It's actually like the River Thames.

268. Okay, we're pretty close here.

269. Pretty close. I feel it. All righty.

270. This is where we're gonna be working.

271. All right.

272. Thatís—that's doable, right?

273. There's some gold back down in there.

274. First thing I'll do is get the

275. sluice box set up here.

276. Watch your step walking in.

277. We're gonna start getting some

278. material from up here.

279. Okay.

280. So if you wanna start scooping some

281. of this dirt here.

282. This is gold bearing material here.

283. Some nice gravel. I think there's a good

284. chance of gold in there.

285. Cause a lot of the gold has had thousands of

286. years to work down through all this sediment.

287. Yeah, yeah.

288. And it likes to sit on that solid bedrock.

289. Mmm.

290. Oh, okay.

291. So now we'll take this material,

292. we're gonna run it through the classifier

293. and just all we're gonna do is rinse

294. all the big rocks off.

295. Yeah.

296. And get the fine material to run

297. though the sluice box.

298. All right, you're gonna have to—

299. you're going to have to—

300. You. No you do it.

301. You got, you gotta jiggle it.

302. So we're just gonna dump.

303. Then what you wanna do is just

304. wiggle side to side.

305. What we're doing is trying to break that

306. gold free from the mud and clay.

307. Yeah. Hey dad, smile! Smile!

308. Yeah, but you like gold more than me.

309. I've got enough gold!

310. It's your thing!

311. You said, " Come on dad!

312. Let's go and pan for gold," And there was no 'we' about it!

313. You were sitting there letting me get freezing cold.

314. Well you didn't get sick.

315. It was building up sick.

316. Randy, how'd you get the name

317. Rattlesnake Randy?

318. Well, I was panning by the creek one day

319. and this one snuck up behind me

320. and bit me in the back of the leg.

321. Woah! You actually got bit by a rattlesnake?

322. So I turned around and bit him back.

323. Right fully so.

324. Ten minutes later the snake was dead.

325. Too bad you didn't save the bat.

326. You could have had like a bat on a hat for you.

327. That bat had more airplay than I had.

328. So now we've got some good material

329. to start running though the sluice box.

330. And if you see gold in there, you'll know it.

331. It'll be nice and yellow.

332. Okay.

333. Now when you start finding gold all it

334. does is make you want to start finding more.

335. Right. Yeah!

336. The fever!

337. Gold fever.

338. Right?

339. Give me that nugget.

340. Oh! Look at there! There's a nugget!

341. We got a nugget! There's a nugget!

342. Wow!

343. A We got gold! We struck gold!

344. We already got one there.

345. Look at that.

346. Don't touch my gold!

347. That's a nice one.

348. Right at the end, too!

349. Look at that.

350. Yep, there's that nugget.

351. That is a beauty.

352. Now we'll bring this over here.

353. We're just slowly gonna rinse these

354. off the sides here.

355. So, we're gonna let all the gold go

356. in and everything?

357. Everything's going right into the bucket there.

358. I about, like, crapped myself when he just

359. poured the gold back in the muddy water.

360. I was like, " No!"

361. You could see the gold so why wouldn't

362. you get it straight from there?

363. I don't know. I really don't get that.

364. So you're gonna get just enough water on here,

365. slightly tilt forward, and shake it side to side.

366. That way the gold's gonna hit the bottom,

367. slide down, pile up into little

368. pockets at the bottom here.

369. Right there I see a bunch of gold already.

370. Yep. Yeah.

371. Slowly gonna push and roll that water

372. up and around letting that light material

373. fall down, out of the way.

374. Wow.

375. That's unbelievable.

376. That's how heavy they are.

377. Wow! That's cool.

378. It was fun!

379. It's gold.

380. We got seventy dollarsí worth of gold

381. and you didn't get that wet.

382. Hey, that was cool.

383. Awesome!

384. My dad loves military history.

385. So, the next stop on our road to Rushmore was

386. something I knew he'd thing was the bomb.

387. A decommissioned, minute man nuclear missile sight.

388. Hi Alison. It's Jack and Ozzy Osbourne.

389. We're coming by the facility and I just

390. want to make sure we have the uh,

391. the right directions.

392. If you see the house,

393. it's the only house you're going to see.

394. Ah, okay. With the big antennae?

395. Yep.

396. You're headed in the right direction.

397. All right, thank you very much.

398. Yeah.

399. To me it looked like where like,

400. a farmer keeps all his tractors.

401. Well, look. There's a barbecue.

402. Well, this whole place is a barbecue.

403. Pretty much.

404. So, the nineteen fifties, America had nukes

405. like all over the western states and Russia had

406. a butt load of their own pointed right back

407. at us over here in the U. S.

408. So if they launched, we launched.

409. Mutually assured destruction.

410. Such a pleasant term.

411. Hey. Oh hi.

412. Hi. Hi Alison.

413. Come on and follow me.

414. You know, cold war period,

415. you got this huge buildup of tension between

416. the Soviet Union and the U. S. so both sides

417. are trying to beat each other out in

418. the buildup of their weapons.

419. We decided that we needed something that

420. could respond quickly, be placed out in the frontier,

421. withstand a wide range of temperatures

422. and that became the minuteman.

423. How long would it take a missile

424. from here to reach Russia?

425. About twenty-eight minutes.

426. What? Wow.

427. Wow.

428. And is that going out into the strat—

429. like out into space and back in?

430. Or just going—

431. Well, that's one of the reasons why

432. the missiles were placed here

433. in the first place.

434. We are the closest we could get to the Soviet Union.

435. Oh.

436. Wow.

437. Cause these missiles are going up

438. over the north pole.

439. Oh, right over the north pole. Yeah.

440. Uh, Alaska?

441. They could be taken out pretty easily by uh,

442. Soviet subs at that time.

443. So putting them in the central part of

444. the country kind of had built in defense.

445. This antennae is a very significant part of

446. the minuteman program.

447. If this site were blown completely

448. 'off the face of the earth,'

449. there was a plane in the air for thirty years

450. called the looking glass plane and that plane

451. could send an ultra-high frequency signal

452. directly to that antennae, launch all

453. ten missiles associated with this site.

454. Wow.

455. Did locals know that this facility

456. was here and that those silos were around?

457. Oh yeah. They did.

458. The folks who lived here literally lived

459. with one point two megaton nuclear

460. missiles in their backyard.

461. Scary stuff, that is.

462. Isn't it? It's terrifying.

463. If you wanna go ahead and walk all the way

464. down to the end of the hallway and Iíll meet

465. you right down there.

466. Cool.

467. This was operational from nineteen sixty three

468. to nineteen ninety-three.

469. I'd like to introduce you to Steve.

470. He's one of our volunteers.

471. He was a missileer at this site.

472. Hi.

473. This is Jack and Ozzy.

474. Hi.

475. Hi. Nice to meet you Steve.

476. Good to meet you.

477. Steve! How long uh, were you here?

478. I was here three years.

479. And how long would a, uh,

480. one stint at this facility?

481. Well, it was a twenty-four-hour

482. alert like a firehouse.

483. Did they have to stay awake for twenty-four hours?

484. No. You went downstairs, you stayed there,

485. and you were allowed to sleep.

486. Cool. Should we— should we head down?

487. Sure. If you wanna come down we'll go

488. to the L. C. C., Launch Control Central.

489. We're going down to the launch control center,

490. generally called capsule and you'll see why.

491. So, you're not okay flying around in a helicopter,

492. but you're okay with going three stories underground.

493. You know why that is?

494. Why?

495. See my point?

496. I see your point.

497. There's a lot of concrete.

498. We're going down to the launch control center.

499. Generally, we call it the capsule.

500. Zero hour. Wall. South Dakota.

501. Ozzy Osbourne and his son Jack held

502. the fate of the world in their hands.

503. Okay, not really.

504. But we were headed three stories underground

505. to a cold war nuclear missile site.

506. Our one point two megaton warhead

507. from here to Moscow is about thirty minutes.

508. Wow.

509. You're standing right here,

510. right now in this tunnel junction

511. and then this is the capsule.

512. You can see why we call it a capsule.

513. Yeah.

514. You know. Step up. Perfect, perfect.

515. This is cool.

516. And this is how thick the capsule is.

517. Wow!

518. We're on the shocks.

519. Two here, two up front.

520. Woah.

521. So, in nuclear detonation we can move back and forth,

522. up and down.

523. Wow.

524. it's fascinating.

525. There was uh, two missile officers down here.

526. A deputy over in that seat.

527. Commander here.

528. If you look here you'll notice the harness.

529. You strap into your chairs.

530. That's so you're not thrown out

531. by the nuclear explosion.

532. Wow.

533. This is the missile status.

534. The two crew members administer ten missiles.

535. Where- where— where are these ten missiles?

536. Theyíre within a five to twelve miles in

537. basically a circle around this facility.

538. Is it the speaker that— that cues you guys,

539. "Hey, something's going on?"

540. Yep, yeah.

541. The speaker here, we would get deedle,

542. deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle,

543. and that's from Offutt Airforce Base,

544. S.A.C. Headquarters, Omaha Nebraska.

545. This wonderful voice would say,

546. "Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta. I say again, Alpha,

547. Bravo, Charlie, Delta."

548. Those two preambles would allow us to go

549. to a book with thick, heavy plastic, various colors.

550. If we went to a blue page,

551. it was an exercise message.

552. If we went to a red page,

553. then we destroy the world.

554. If they ever use that, that, it's—

555. it's an unwinnable situation because you—

556. you fire one, you'll get fire back.

557. Mmm hmm.

558. And it's all gone, it's all gone, man.

559. Mmm hmm. Yep. And then it's like uh—

560. Armageddon.

561. Then we would reach in here and take sealed,

562. authenticators out, break them, check the message.

563. It's good.

564. We would reach in here and take out two small keys.

565. One would go here for the deputy.

566. One would go up front to my right.

567. I would say, "Okay, on my mark.

568. Three, two, one mark!" and we would

569. turn keys simultaneously.

570. The missiles go, can't stop 'em.

571. Is there—is there a button, like a push the button?

572. No. No.

573. That's the keys, essentially.

574. No, it's the keys.

575. Was there ever a time in your career

576. down here as a missileer where it was like,

577. " Hey, things aren't looking that good.

578. We might be kind of—"

579. No, no. There were a couple of times they

580. did put keys in but that was more to

581. show we were serious.

582. Now were you 'three, two, one, go!

583. Or were you 'three, two, one'?

584. No.

585. What was your countdown?

586. 'Three, two, one, mark!'

587. And the mark was the— it's like rock—

588. I always have that debate with rock,

589. paper, scissors. Are we going 'rock, paper, scissor, go?'

590. Or is it 'rock, paper, scissor?'

591. It's just a little bit more pack.

592. Scissor?

593. You know when you play rock, paper,

594. scissor, you go like—

595. Well, I was trying to lighten the mood by

596. like making a rock, paper scissor joke.

597. How can you?

598. How can you lighten a nuclear silo, launch?

599. Cause I'm an optimist.

600. I tend to look at the brighter side of things.

601. You'll be on the very brighter side of it.

602. Called a fireball.

603. So, what did you think of it?

604. I felt the people were very, very nice there.

605. Very nice.

606. Oh yeah.

607. Well, I think that that guy probably did not

608. nearly as much acid as you did.

609. Point taken.

610. What do you know about the

611. Crazy Horse monument?

612. No. I mean, it's big but it's not that big.

613. Well not compared to this thing.

614. We came all the way to South Dakota

615. to see Mount Rushmore.

616. But as I was doing research, I came across some

617. information on another giant mountain sculpture;

618. The Crazy Horse monument.

619. It's still under construction, but when it's done

620. it'll be even bigger than Mount Rushmore.

621. Oh! Dead deer, dead deer, look!

622. That sucks.

623. Speaking of death, so you really don't

624. want to go on this helicopter?

625. Will you quit with this ?

626. I don't like the things!

627. But! All right.

628. Thereís no way we can get to the top of

629. Mount Rushmore without a helicopter.

630. No. I don't. I—I—I—

631. What's the big deal?

632. If it's got like a good safety record—

633. I don't like them!

634. If the pilot is competent—

635. One.

636. "I'm gonna die!"

637. I'd be like just—

638. So am I!

639. I'm not going on a helicopter!

640. All right, all right. Enough about the helicopter.

641. Thank you.

642. After officially paying our first toll in South Dakota,

643. we were headed into the park and towards

644. the giant Crazy Horse sculpture.

645. Wow, Jack! A nose!

646. Sculptor, Korczak Ziolkowski, came into the Black Hills

647. to work on Mount Rushmore.

648. He was one man who decided to build

649. this entire monument by himself and it was

650. dedicated to Crazy Horse,

651. who was the Lakota chief that kicked

652. Custer's ass at Little Big Horn.

653. After Korczak died, his wife and kids have

654. been keeping his work going.

655. To the welcome center we must go.

656. I'm going in for a pee instantly.

657. Remember, no peeing on the monuments.

658. What we're looking at here is the one

659. thirtieth model, actually and so if you

660. can imagine this thirty times bigger.

661. Uh huh.

662. That's what's out there.

663. Okay.

664. With the projections we're looking at you know,

665. ten to fifteen years for the hand

666. that's out stretched here and then

667. the supporting horse's mane.

668. The shoulder and then part of his hair

669. are up here, actually. So...

670. What's the hole?

671. That's under his arm, right there.

672. Under his arm.

673. Of course! Underarm.

674. Yeah, so when Korczak was working on that,

675. actually, he started from the backside

676. of the mountain.

677. Mmm hmm.

678. And it took him several years to do it.

679. And so he's like, "You know—

680. It was just him by himself for years.

681. Yeah. Right?

682. Yeah. Oh Yeah. Him and his kids.

683. Yeah, that's quite a big family, right?

684. Yeah right, well he—

685. He said—he said he needed help.

686. You know what that is?

687. That's where they keep the explosives.

688. Is it really? Yep.

689. Danger. Crazy horse.

690. You can't tell the scale until you

691. start getting closer to it.

692. Oh yeah. Wow.

693. You made it!

694. When we go out there we need to wear these.

695. When we get out—

696. I look like a Easter egg.

697. Is that the original stairs?

698. That's how, when they were carving the face,

699. they would get up to the top.

700. So, here we go.

701. Wow!

702. That's unbelievable!

703. Wow.

704. That's great, there.

705. That is unbelievable.

706. Do you guys want to get in one together?

707. Yeah.

708. They're really using the exact same techniques

709. they used to build Rushmore.

710. Until you're looking up his nostril.

711. hell.

712. So, one of the tricks learned on Mount Rushmore

713. is the ability to make the eyes so

714. that wherever you're at here.

715. Uh huh.

716. It looks like he's looking at you.

717. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

718. Oh wow, yeah.

719. That's amazing.

720. He's looking.

721. Eighty-seven and a half feet.

722. That's amazing.

723. Oh! We have a visitor.

724. Hi. Hi!

725. Hello.

726. This is Monique Ziolkowski.

727. I'm Ozzy, pleased to meet you.

728. How do you do? Nice to meet you.

729. Hi, how's it going? I'm Jack.

730. Hi, Jack.

731. Hi, pleasure to meet you.

732. Welcome.

733. How often are you guys blasting?

734. Once every couple weeks.

735. Now we're concentrating on Crazy Horse's hand

736. and the horseís mane.

737. So we'll have two crews working at both

738. ends of the mountain.

739. Wow.

740. We're standing on the arm right now but

741. I guess where we're standing is probably gonna be—

742. You're—hand's right here, so about half

743. of that rock will be gone.

744. Wow. Maybe one day they can build a five-hundred-foot

745. sculpture of you.

746. Yeah, that would be cool.

747. Uh, I think so. You'd be around forever.

748. Me too.

749. It'll be great when he's finished.

750. Oh it'll be unbelievable.

751. My dad and I are going to go to Deadwood.

752. The old gun slinging town.

753. So one thing that I've set up that my dad doesn't

754. know about is a little private quick draw lesson.

755. Dad, he actually taught me to shoot uh,

756. when I was a kid so he kind of knows

757. what he's doing.

758. Uh, yeah!

759. Yo.

760. Come.

761. Let me see the layers. Let me see—

762. Well Iíve got the layers uh, with me.

763. You got a pair of long johns just in case?

764. No, I got—

765. I'm just saying, it is cold out today.

766. I know it's cold.

767. What is your deal with not layering up?

768. That you are! You're pretty cool.

769. You pay five thousand dollars a coat?

770. Yeah.

771. me.

772. I—I'm the prince of darkness, son.

773. I should become a tailor.

774. As we were getting closer and closer to Mount Rushmore,

775. the next stop on our tour of the

776. wild west was a frontier town called Deadwood.

777. And as a Brit who loves all things western...

778. Nearly.

779. my dad was as patient as ever to get there.

780. Yeah.

781. No, we're obviously not there yet.

782. I bet you wish you were in a helicopter now.

783. We'd already been done with the day.

784. Deadwood.

785. Deadwood was founded in eighteen seventy-four

786. during the Black Hills gold rush.

787. And, as you can probably tell from the name,

788. Dead Wood...

789. Yep, there's lots of wood and it's dead.

790. it was named after a bunch of dead trees

791. found in a gulch.

792. It was a rough town known for gambling and gold.

793. The famous gun slinger, Wild Bill Hickok,

794. met his maker here with a bullet in the back.

795. Ooh look, cemetery.

796. You still do!

797. You used to tell me when I was a kid,

798. " If you stand on a grave the skeletons are going

799. to come out and grab you,"

800. and I used to be terrified.

801. I never said that.

802. You—you used to say that all the time.

803. Would you like something like that, dad?

804. You want a big, bronze statue over your uh, grave?

805. I don't care.

806. I want—want to be buried in black.

807. Wow! And then look, there's Calamity Janes'.

808. I wonder if they were married.

809. Let's look her up.

810. Calamity Jane was an American frontiers woman

811. and a professional scout known for her claim

812. of being an acquaintance of Wild Bill Hickok.

813. She is said to have always have exhibited

814. kindness and compassion to others,

815. especially to the—

816. She gave great blow jobs.

817. Ina—Inappropriate! She was known also... I can't.

818. Well, there's Calamity Jane.

819. Dad just did her life justice.

820. Oh, well how did she get the name Calamity Jane?

821. I think it's just her name.

822. Just like, how did you get the name Ozzy?

823. I—I'm Ozzy Osbourne, it makes sense.

824. I'm a metal god.

825. Well, I feel like we should embody the spirit

826. of Wild Bill and maybe go shoot some guns,

827. metal god Ozzy Osbourne.

828. We wanted to get the full wild west tourist experience.

829. Sun's out, guns out.

830. So I made an appointment at a nearby gun range

831. where we could try our hand at some quick draw.

832. Greg?

833. Hello!

834. Hello.

835. I'm Greg Becky.

836. How's it going? I'm Jack Osbourne.

837. Jack, pleasure to meet you.

838. You must be Ozzy!

839. It's a pleasure to meet you.

840. How are you doing?

841. I'm Shane. How you doing?

842. How's it going, Shane?

843. I'm Shannon. Nice to meet you.

844. Fast draw is historically bound to Deadwood, right?

845. It was all about, you know,

846. vendettas and money and gold.

847. So basically like today?

848. Pretty much.

849. So, one thing Wild Bill had an advantage of,

850. he was part of the Union and he was a scout

851. and he was a very, very good shot.

852. And he liked to carry 'em butt out and he would

853. draw like this and he practiced.

854. Is—is there an advantage to doing it that way?

855. He wore a sash for most everything he did.

856. Well, in a sash like this it's hard

857. to get a hold of 'em. Yeah, yeah.

858. But with a grip like this I can come in

859. and come right out. Yeah.

860. And do what I need to do.

861. You feeling fast?

862. Uh, yeah. I'm feeling all right.

863. Yeah, we'll see.

864. We'll see how fast you can go.

865. It's a little cold out.

866. Well, come on over, let's play a little bit.

867. The pistols we're gonna use are a single action

868. revolver made by Ruger McCarroll.

869. Weíre shooting a special wax bullet.

870. You guys came to shoot, let's shoot.

871. When the light comes on, that's when

872. we're going to draw, cock and fire.

873. There ya go. There we go!

874. Now, straight back to your holster.

875. You feel like Wild Bill?

876. Wild 'O'?

877. All right dad, quick draw contest.

878. Best of three.

879. If I win you gotta get on the helicopter with me.

880. You can go and take a running jump.

881. Oh hey, a wager's a wager.

882. All right, boys. You ready?

883. Yep.

884. Fingers on the line!

885. Okay, we're got times here.

886. You've got a one point zero five two for Ozzy

887. but we've got a one point zero zero seven for Jack.

888. I could shave that.

889. Young punk.

890. You kept calling me punk,

891. but the name's Quick Draw Jack.

892. Shooters! Set!

893. Oh!

894. Oh!

895. Two point-five-five-two was Jack's time

896. and eight-five-two was your best time.

897. Good job!

898. Hey, you got a lot to learn, punk.

899. Sorry.

900. All right boys, here comes the sudden victory.

901. You ready?

902. Yeah.

903. Here come your commands.

904. Shooters on the line.

905. Shooters! Set!

906. > Shooters on the line.

907. My dad and I were in the shoot out of our lives.

908. If I win, he has to go on a little helicopter ride

909. with moi to Mount Rushmore.

910. Shooters! Set!

911. Oh, that was close!

912. Oh, that was really close too.

913. Jack, you had a nine three six.

914. You beat him with an eight six oh.

915. I guess no helicopter.

916. Aye, you can forget the helicopter.

917. cold!

918. That was fun!

919. You're pretty fast though.

920. Both.

921. cold.

922. Though I may have lost the battle,

923. I wouldn't lose the war.

924. As my dad and I prepared to make our final

925. push to Mount Rushmore.

926. Can't walk up.

927. They don't let anyone on top of Rushmore anymore.

928. Even if they did, it would do very little damage.

929. It's sold rock.

930. They're rock stars as well.

931. Well, it was the final day of our wild west

932. road trip and we had finally reached

933. the mountain top.

934. And by mountain top, I mean Mount Rushmore.

935. Oh, look. There they are.

936. Wow, that's pretty cool.

937. We've just arrived at Rushmore.

938. You can see four dead president's faces.

939. Where's he going?

940. Let's just see how long he goes before

941. turning around.

942. Look, he didn't even—

943. Thank you.

944. Why did you just wander off when

945. we got to Mount Rushmore?

946. Let's see.

947. Oh, here ya go. The meaning.

948. "... carved into the granite, Mount Rushmore

949. was chosen by the sculptor to commemorate

950. the founding growth and preservation

951. and development of The United States."

952. Yeah, okay.

953. Borglum started building the monument in

954. nineteen twenty-seven and the initial thought

955. process was that it was going to be from

956. head to waist.

957. But they had to cease construction during

958. World War II because the U. S. government was no

959. longer funding anything that wasn't necessary.

960. The war.

961. Everything had to go to the war effort.

962. It took the measurements on the—

963. on the one tenth scale and just times it by ten.

964. That's very interesting.

965. Please do not feed the chipmunks, okay?

966. What?

967. Don't feed the chipmunks.

968. Yeah.

969. No. Not at all.

970. Yeah, no, chipmunks are real.

971. Pretty impressive though, isn't it, Jack?

972. It really is.

973. So each of the Presidents up there is because

974. they did something to help develop

975. and grow The United States.

976. Yeah, okay.

977. Yeah, well surely you can get closer to it?

978. Listen, there is a way to get closer.

979. Go on.

980. Helicopter.

981. Oh, god. I've told you I'm not

982. doing the helicopter.

983. You can forget it. Forget it.

984. Why not? Okay, explain to me

985. why you don't want to go in a helicopter.

986. Look at it like this. If Ozzy Osbourne crashed

987. and died in a helicopter up to Mount Rushmore,

988. you literally, they would put you in the museum here.

989. Your charred remains.

990. But what, what, little jar of ashes up there?

991. Well, if they find you.

992. If there's anything left.

993. But hey, like, what a way to go.

994. I'm sorry, like, if you're gonna die,

995. die at a national monument. People will remember you.

996. I don't want to die in a national monument!

997. I don't want to die period, right now.

998. If you want to go to the top,

999. that's the only way to do it.

1000. I'm not going on a helicopter!

1001. You all right?

1002. No.

1003. That's, uh, the buffalo, just to the front left.

1004. That's awesome.

1005. Uh oh.

1006. What? What?

1007. I don't know.

1008. Don't start me off, you.

1009. Don't start going, uh oh.

1010. Oh, you feel that?

1011. Oh, Jack, you gotta quit it now.

1012. What do you think?

1013. Did you feel like you couldn't really enjoy

1014. Rushmore in the helicopter cause you were scared?

1015. How could I enjoy being

1016. scared in a helicopter?

1017. Like, I like helicopters.

1018. You didn't say that before we got on.

1019. You were —

1020. I was, I was whimpering in the toilets.

1021. I know.

1022. I told you it'd be all right.

1023. Believe me, I'm an older guy than you.

1024. I told you that it'd be safe.

1025. Wait a second!