Ozzy and Jack's World Detour 1x1

1. Jack Osbourne: Okay, the core of what we're

2. doing is this is you and I, on the road,

3. exploring history.

4. Ozzy Osbourne: Fabulous.

5. All right. Here's what we're going to do.

6. We're going to do a Rock, Paper, Scissors right now.

7. And if I win, we do this entire trip on

8. horseback and wagons.

9. Scissors?

10. You've never played Rock, Paper, Scissors?

11. No. I've never played such a dumb game.

12. Rock, Paper, Scissors, ugh.

13. Rock, Paper, Scissors, ugh. off.

14. My name's Jack Osbourne.

15. And this is my dad, Ozzy.

16. Heavy metal god.

17. Ozzy Osbourne: Are you ready?

18. Prince of Darkness.

19. And surprisingly enough...

20. History nerd.

21. As the old saying goes...

22. Like father, like son.

23. So my dad and I are doing something we've

24. always wanted to do.

25. We're hitting the road, just the two of us,

26. and a bucket list of places and things

27. we've only ever read about in books.

28. Oh my God, this is amazing.

29. Or seen on TV and the Web.

30. Do you have your knife? Yes.

31. Because, of all days, we might need it.

32. There are no roadies. No tour buses.

33. What the is this?

34. No boundaries.

35. Oh!

36. Welcome to Ozzy and Jack's World Detour.

37. Let's rock and roll.

38. All right. We are in Virginia.

39. Me and my dad are on a bit of a road

40. trip to Jamestown.

41. Jamestown was the first British colony here

42. in New World.

43. In doing research, I found that there were four

44. Osbournes living in Jamestown or migrating to

45. Jamestown from Great Britain, around 1630.

46. So I kind of think that we could have maybe had

47. some ancestors there.

48. So, that being said, onward, for the British Empire.

49. Hello? Howdy.

50. Hi, Jack.

51. How was your night? Good. Good.

52. But what was interesting to me was

53. there was suspected cannibalism.

54. Well, the Brits sent a bunch of people over.

55. But none of these people had agricultural experience.

56. No one knows how to grow things.

57. And so 80 percent of the people

58. that first arrived died.

59. And because they weren't getting supplies and

60. they had a couple of brutal winters and they

61. couldn't grow a lot of things, they ate the farm animals.

62. And then the pets.

63. And then each other. Supposedly.

64. I'm an amateur historian.

65. What's that?

66. DNA tests.

67. Do we got to send blood?

68. No. We got to spit.

69. Spit?

70. Yep. Here.

71. Are you kidding me?

72. This will sequence your DNA and give you a

73. time and information about you.

74. Why are we doing it?

75. When I was researching Jamestown,

76. I found that there were four Osbournes at...

77. So this is going to prove that one of them

78. Osbournes is me?

79. No. It's going to see if there were any ancestors.

80. This is weird, man.

81. Shut up and spit in it.

82. What do... what do you do?

83. Spit it in and fill that line.

84. Oh.

85. See that line right there?

86. That's a lot of spit, man.

87. That's not bad.

88. I haven't got that much spit in my

89. body, man.

90. Just like that?

91. Yeah.

92. it.

93. This is barbaric, isn't it?

94. Why's my spit orange?

95. Did you eat or drink anything?

96. Yeah, water. And coffee.

97. Oh. You might as well stop then.

98. Why?

99. We can't use it if you've been eating or

100. drinking anything within 30 minutes.

101. Well... well, it's done now.

102. All right. Just snap that... shut that.

103. And now let that liquid fall in there.

104. Ugh. You... you like hocked a loogie into that.

105. Well, what the do you think?

106. It's spit. It comes out of me.

107. I guess. Loogies are DNA.

108. Ugh. I got spit on my hand.

109. What do you have that face on for?

110. 'Cause I got your spit on my hands.

111. Oh, my God. Really?

112. Yeah, right.

113. So we headed out on the road to Jamestown.

114. Everywhere you go in Virginia,

115. you literally run into history.

116. My dad has always been fascinated with

117. World War II.

118. And we had a chance to go to a museum of military tanks.

119. So we were all over that.

120. Right now, we're going to go drive the tanks,

121. the World War II tanks.

122. Quite interesting.

123. Super interesting.

124. The guy actually has the largest tank collection in America.

125. Vintage?

126. Vintage.

127. Okay.

128. Before we start, I just want to say

129. 'tanks for coming.'

130. Thanks for having me.

131. I'm Mark.

132. How's it going, Mark?

133. A pleasure. Jack. How are you?

134. Nice to meet you.

135. Rich Eisner. Ozzy.

136. One of the — pleasure — volunteers here.

137. Hey. Nice to meet you.

138. Thanks for having us.

139. You guys know a little bit about tanks, right?

140. He probably knows a little bit more about

141. this era of tanks than I do.

142. My love of World War II is primarily because

143. I was born in '48 and World War II was over in '45.

144. And tanks were used in that kind of battle setting,

145. it rewrote the battlefield books.

146. Hmm.

147. The Maus.

148. It was so big, it was obsolete before he started.

149. Because they couldn't cross bridges.

150. A hundred and 88 tons.

151. Oh, wow.

152. Which country built the first tank?

153. The British get credit for the first tank.

154. How did they get the name tanks?

155. It was a code word.

156. So nobody knew what they were building.

157. It was done the admiralty.

158. That's why we... this is called a deck on a tank.

159. These are all naval terms.

160. Hmm.

161. In World War I, they used to refer to the

162. tanks as 'land ships.'

163. It's pretty fascinating that the Navy first

164. invented tanks and called them 'land ships.'

165. It's quite interesting.

166. This is a Sherman US, World War II.

167. Everybody built American tanks.

168. Ford.

169. Local motor companies. Car companies.

170. Fifty thousand were made.

171. That's also something that was key to

172. America's success in the war.

173. The fact that multiple manufacturers were

174. able to make so many of these.

175. That was part of the key to our success in

176. World War II.

177. We out-built them.

178. How many tanks are on the property?

179. Probably about 60 tanks.

180. Wow.

181. We started as a collection. Became a museum.

182. Built on the stories of soldiers that served.

183. Well, let's go take a look around at some stuff.

184. It's one of the earliest running Shermans in the world.

185. It's a M4A1. It's got a radial engine.

186. Wow. There's room.

187. How many people can fit in one of these?

188. Five man crew.

189. Five men?

190. Three guys on the turn.

191. You got your gunner up here.

192. Your commander position here.

193. And the loaders on this side.

194. He loads the main gun.

195. And then you got two guys up front.

196. You got a driver.

197. A co-driver's got a battle machine gun,

198. 30 calibers browning.

199. I just feel like a tank is a great way just to

200. have things crushed all the time.

201. Oh, absolutely.

202. Wow.

203. I mean, that's like a 35 pound door.

204. Yeah.

205. Yeah.

206. This is a Chaffee tank.

207. We use light tanks as well as the British

208. did in World War II.

209. You know, we could take this out for a spin

210. if you guys want to.

211. Absolutely.

212. Just climb up inside?

213. We'll get you up the ladder.

214. We'll get right on top.

215. Ready?

216. Let's do it.

217. We'll get you in the hole first.

218. He's in.

219. And you go in the left front hatch.

220. Okay.

221. You good?

222. Yep.

223. All righty.

224. You got two steps.

225. Yep?

226. You go left, you're going to pull the

227. left stick towards you. Okay.

228. With your, you're going to pull the right

229. stick towards you. Okay.

230. And in front of your right foot's your gas pedal.

231. Okay.

232. Ozzy, you okay?

233. Yo.

234. This is awesome.

235. Oops. Did we stall it?

236. Yeah. You stalled it.

237. Sorry about that.

238. So how did your break the tank?

239. I didn't necessarily break the tank.

240. I think you broke the tank.

241. I don't like that term.

242. Okay, 'breaking' implies 'cant be repaired.'

243. It was working before you got in it.

244. Okay, so I stalled it out. Big deal.

245. I'm combat testing it.

246. Combat testing it? Until it broke?

247. So when you're in battle, are you going to say to

248. the Germans, 'Uh, hold on, Hans and Fritz.

249. Might as well take a picture of the tank I broke.

250. Tank breaker.

251. Sorry.

252. Good to go.

253. All right, Dad. It's your turn to drive.

254. Yeah, okay.

255. All right.

256. To go right, pull on the right stick.

257. That's it.

258. Jack, we good?

259. I'm good.

260. Ugh. Dad. Move your foot.

261. All right, push the clutch in.

262. Okay, push the little pedal down.

263. Push the clutch in.

264. hell.

265. Nice job, Prince of Tank Breakers.

266. We should get your dad down here.

267. All right.

268. On our way to Jamestown, my dad and I stopped off

269. in rural Virginia to live out of our personal

270. World War II tank fantasies at the largest

271. private collection of tanks in the U. S.

272. Jack, we good?

273. I'm good.

274. But my dad was having a little difficulty.

275. Ugh. Dad, move your foot.

276. Clutch. Push the clutch in.

277. Okay, push your little pedal down.

278. Push the clutch in.

279. hell.

280. That is complete.

281. But what about when you stalled the tank?

282. That was just...

283. It was resting.

284. Let's... the tank was resting.

285. Yes. That's it.

286. Do you see a little black handle down here,

287. to your right?

288. This one?

289. No. Right towards the... Oop.

290. Just knocked your seat down.

291. Can you not see?

292. Here, I can do it. All right. Keep... stand...

293. stand up a little bit more. I can do it, Dad.

294. You want to guide my hand to the handle?

295. Go higher, Jack.

296. Hold on. Don't sit down.

297. How's that? Is that better, Ozzy?

298. Yeah. Much better.

299. Now with my dad's seat adjusted, it was time

300. to see if he could get this 40,000 pound vehicle

301. into gear and keep it there.

302. Yee haw.

303. No.

304. You got to think with the opposite side of

305. your brain 'cause this is that way,

306. this is the opposite. It's weird.

307. Yeah.

308. How awesome was that?

309. That was good fun.

310. Want to hear it go bang?

311. Let's hear it go bang.

312. Okay. We're going to prep and go.

313. So what are we firing today?

314. We're going to fire a 75 millimeter blank.

315. How far will one of these rounds go?

316. A few miles.

317. Wow.

318. All right. Let's get back.

319. That is live.

320. Three. Two. One. Fire in the hole.

321. Jeez.

322. How was that?

323. Whoo. That was fun.

324. Is it noisy inside there?

325. Not as bad as it is out there.

326. That was awesome, man.

327. Pretty good bang, isn't it?

328. So where are the neighbors?

329. That cannon was like the loudest thing I've ever heard.

330. You must have missed the last Black Sabbath show.

331. When you hear that, you feel it.

332. Oh, yeah. Honestly they probably heard

333. that in Mars.

334. What?

335. They probably heard that battle on Mars.

336. What?

337. Exactly.

338. After we had our ears blown out, our journey

339. to Jamestown continued through historic Virginia.

340. So it's fair to say we're in Civil War

341. country now, are we?

342. Big time. The Civil War kind of started around

343. here and ended around here.

344. This was like the front line.

345. So I was on the Internet last night.

346. Yeah?

347. And I found this place that has this famous

348. general's arm buried here.

349. What?

350. And during the Civil War—

351. —Stonewall Jackson was a...

352. Who... it sounds like he's a interior designer.

353. No. He was actually one of the most gifted

354. tactical commanders in US military history.

355. They called him Stonewall Jackson because he built...

356. He built walls out of stone.

357. Well, he stopped, like, in advance.

358. So he was like a stone wall.

359. But he got his arm shot accidentally by his own troops.

360. Yeah?

361. And they had to amputate his arm.

362. I mean, he had... he built the wall.

363. Why didn't they call him Stonewall "One Arm" Jackson?

364. He probably would have been called that but

365. he died seven days later.

366. Oh. Stonewall "One Arm Dead" Jackson.

367. So when Stonewall Jackson died,

368. his soldiers told his wife,

369. 'Hey, listen, we know where his arm is.

370. Do you want to reunite the arm with his body?'

371. And they were deeply religious and his wife said,

372. 'Was the arm given a proper Christian burial?'

373. And they said, 'Yes.'

374. They had a funeral for his arm?

375. Mm hmm.

376. She said, 'In that case, don't disturb the grave.'

377. What?

378. Weird, right?

379. me now.

380. Let's do this. Let's go find some Stonewall-age.

381. Here, give me a hand.

382. I can say...

383. Oh, look. Hand-icap entrance.

384. Let's see.

385. Oh, it was a prosperous Virginia farm in 1798.

386. Dwelling looked out over the rolling farmland.

387. Somebody lived here?

388. Yeah. Oh, wow.

389. This is where the battles were. All here.

390. Can I look?

391. Yes. Just over there.

392. Wow.

393. Sixty thousand casualties.

394. Wow. Sad.

395. Very cool.

396. Lovely.

397. Here, here.

398. All right.

399. Where is this cemetery?

400. There it is. Over there.

401. Stonewall Jackson's arm.

402. Here, in the Jones family cemetery lies the remains

403. of Stonewall Jackson's left arm.

404. It's like a Manji poison things.

405. Mm hmm.

406. Why did they bury it here?

407. Let's see. Jackson's chaplain visited the hospital

408. later that morning.

409. As he was leaving Jackson's tent,

410. Lacy saw the general's amputated

411. arm lying outside. Just laying on the ground.

412. Ugh. He gathered up the limb and carried it

413. across the field to his brother's estate,

414. Elwood, and buried it here at the family cemetery.

415. Wow.

416. He just feels so incomplete in the afterlife.

417. But it was an armless...

418. Yeah. It was a... it was an armless thing to do.

419. It's Stonewall's arm.

420. High five.

421. With a ways to go before hitting Jamestown,

422. I started to get hungry.

423. But my dad had an appetite for something else.

424. One historical fact that was gnawing

425. on him about Jamestown.

426. The Native Americans essentially

427. besieged Jamestown.

428. Oh.

429. The story of Pocahontas is based at Jamestown.

430. Okay.

431. Ooh, Chick-fil-A. Let's go to Chick-fil-A.

432. Let's go to Chick-fil-A.

433. What... what is Chick-fil-A?

434. Chick-fil-A is this, like, chain restaurant.

435. But it's only chicken.

436. Absolutely amazing.

437. All right. Is that where we're going?

438. No. But we can get it for lunch.

439. Fast food chicken.

440. Yeah. But it's good.

441. Hi. What can I get for you?

442. We'll get a spicy chicken deluxe.

443. And we'll do an order of nuggets.

444. And then a, um, regular Chick-fil-A deluxe

445. with no tomato, if possible.

446. And an Arnold Palmer.

447. Lots of lemon.

448. Sure. Thanks.

449. Hi. Spicy Chick-fil-A.

450. Thank you. Look at all that lemon.

451. Let's just pull up a little bit here and we'll eat it here.

452. Oh.

453. Oh.

454. Just a little Chick-fil-A while we consume some

455. Ozzy Osbourne with Ozzy Osbourne.

456. Did you ever think you'd be eating in a random

457. parking lot in Virginia listening to

458. "Flying High Again"?

459. Before we got to Jamestown, my dad and I wanted

460. to stop at Colonial Williamsburg.

461. I had found out that they had just opened a new gun

462. range where you could shoot real working muskets.

463. And any opportunity to shoot guns,

464. we were there.

465. But they just built a new gun range.

466. Ah.

467. And I thought it was just going to be blanks.

468. And then they're like, 'Oh, no, we have full new lead rounds.'

469. I must say, I have always wanted to shoot a musket.

470. We have a couple of different firearms that

471. are really important to Virginia's history

472. in the 18th century.

473. This is typically a wood block that holds rolled paper

474. tubes with a bullet.

475. The muskets fire at a rate of about 15 seconds a shot.

476. How accurate are they?

477. Well, the musket itself is not meant to be very accurate.

478. So it can hit a man-sized target out to around

479. 75 yards or so.

480. How do you fight a war with a gun that can't

481. hit anything?

482. You throw it at them.

483. That may be more accurate.

484. Let's start with the musket.

485. These are flintlocks.

486. Yeah.

487. Basically meaning it's going to use a flint and

488. a spark from this steel to ignite the powder charge.

489. Yeah, okay.

490. The way this operates is you'll pull this all the

491. way back. Close the pan.

492. There will be powder in the pan.

493. The cock will slide forward.

494. Strike the hammer.

495. The flint is harder than the steel.

496. So it will actually be shaving pieces of steel off

497. at a high temperature.

498. Which will drop into the pan below, ignite the powder.

499. And set off the larger powder charge inside.

500. Wow.

501. It's a handheld cannon, really.

502. Yeah. Pretty much.

503. What'd they say?

504. A lot of times, they would have loaders and shooters.

505. And then the battlefield must have been,

506. 'Okay, hold on. Let me load these 13 guns.'

507. All right, so here's the bet. Best of three shots.

508. Winner takes all. Loser—

509. —has to wear a pointy triangle hat for the day.

510. All right.

511. All right. So who's shooting first?

512. I'll go.

513. All right.

514. All right.

515. The range is going hot.

516. Pull the cock back.

517. Take aim at the target.

518. And fire when ready.

519. All right, so best of three shots.

520. Winner takes all.

521. Loser has to wear a pointy triangle hat for the day.

522. All right.

523. We were on our road trip to Jamestown.

524. And had stopped off at Colonial Williamsburg

525. where we had an opportunity to fire real working muskets.

526. Take aim at the target and fire when ready.

527. And had a little side bet going.

528. You got it dead center.

529. You got a perfect center shot.

530. You see the bottle in the middle?

531. High five.

532. You grew up shooting these things.

533. You got it again in the center.

534. Are you aiming high or low?

535. He's like, 'I don't want to wear that... that hat.'

536. That's a hit.

537. All right. Hang on a second here.

538. You totally hustled me on that...

539. Well... I had to see you in that pointy hat.

540. I mean, you got a perfect bull's-eye.

541. Well...

542. All right, range is going to go hot again.

543. They would have had to do this as quick as

544. possible while getting shot at and other people shooting.

545. Loosen the hammer.

546. Pull it back to full cock.

547. Okay.

548. And then take aim and fire.

549. You got it... you got in, didn't you?

550. Yeah. I got one.

551. It's so weird to have, like, conk, boom. Versus just firing.

552. Yeah.

553. Apparently I got it through the seal on the

554. second bottle.

555. Get it?

556. Let's go take a look.

557. No, I don't think so. I don't think I got it. Did I?

558. You got one there.

559. And you got one.

560. One, two.

561. See, what I was doing, when I was pulling the

562. trigger, I aimed it there.

563. Yeah, 'cause that's what I was doing.

564. I was... I was aiming, like, here.

565. I started aiming here and it started going down there.

566. Ah.

567. You won the shooting competition.

568. You'd better be bagging us

569. turkey next Thanksgiving.

570. Hear ye, tho merry o father.

571. The musket range was just outside the actual town

572. of Colonial Williamsburg.

573. Colonial Williamsburg is set as if it is 1770.

574. So pre-Revolutionary War.

575. Meaning it's still meant to feel like it's a British colony.

576. You know, they've got the blacksmith.

577. They've got the wig maker. All that kind of stuff.

578. The wig maker?

579. Yeah, because remember, everyone used to

580. wear those dumb wigs.

581. Why?

582. Because it was like a sign of prosperity.

583. It's stupid.

584. We had arrived and then left both our car

585. and the 21st century behind us.

586. Do I look like a... a fine gentleman?

587. You look very refined.

588. It's weird to see the English flag flying in... in America.

589. It's not a fake... this is actually like a working town.

590. It hasn't been built for this.

591. It was just restored to this.

592. It's been restored complete with poop.

593. It's kind of cool.

594. It's beautiful.

595. Hello.

596. Good afternoon.

597. The jars and bottles on the shelves behind

598. me represent prepared medications.

599. They're made in big batches and stored.

600. And that way, it can be dispensed and used immediately.

601. Here's a lozenge for heartburn. Main ingredient is chalk.

602. It's exactly what we use today.

603. Did they have opiates back then?

604. We have opium.

605. Chemicals derived from opium which include

606. morphine and codeine don't exist yet.

607. It would not have been a common occurrence.

608. The expense of opium would prohibit many people

609. from becoming addicted.

610. The majority of opium would be used to treat

611. severe diarrhea.

612. Opium for diarrhea?

613. Like, that's got to be the most painful diarrhea ever.

614. I wish we had a time machine.

615. If, if I could have on me a time machine,

616. I'd take my stereo back there and get a case

617. of real bad dysentery.

618. Bring an iPod, a stereo, and some dysentery

619. and a time machine,

620. you have a great night out.

621. And so would people come for amputations here?

622. That work would take place in your home.

623. For an amputation, the doctor would come

624. to the house and strap you down and...

625. He would typically have assistants holding you down.

626. You need to be able to hold the body part still

627. enough so that you can cut accurately.

628. Wow.

629. So they were stone cold sober when, when they had...

630. Oh, yes.

631. amputations? Oh, yes.

632. No opium? No opium.

633. Is that for teeth?

634. It's actually not for teeth.

635. These are called bone nippers.

636. Oh.

637. If you're sawing through a bone and it breaks off,

638. you can leave a jagged piece of bone sticking out.

639. Aw.

640. And so we need to nip that off so that you

641. have a clean bone to be able to create a stump.

642. To break a bone is incredibly painful.

643. Can you imagine someone cutting your leg off, right?

644. And then taking out these giant, like, pliers...

645. Have bones got nerves?

646. Yes. Your bones have feelings.

647. that.

648. And then just going, clank, clank.

649. Ah. I just... I can't.

650. Oh, man. That must have been so painful.

651. Wow.

652. You're obsessed.

653. Well, we'll give you the opium after the

654. operation is over with.

655. Colonial America was a lot darker than I thought.

656. I agree.

657. Thank you very much.

658. You're welcome.

659. I appreciate your time.

660. Thank you.

661. Have a nice day.

662. Thank you.

663. Dude, the bone nippers. Ugh.

664. I can't imagine the pain that would be.

665. Hello.

666. Good day, sir.

667. Good day to you.

668. Back in the day, buying a wig was as normal

669. as getting a haircut.

670. So we couldn't leave Williamsburg without

671. checking out the wig shop.

672. Wow. Lots of wigs.

673. Indeed it is. My name is Mary.

674. Nice to meet you, Mary. Ozzy.

675. Pleased to meet you, sir. Jack.

676. Jack. Pleased to meet you, too.

677. Well, I'll let you know, I don't know if you heard the news.

678. But if you want the best quality wig,

679. what I'm going to have to do to you,

680. shave your head bald.

681. Fortunately, I'm never going to have to worry

682. about wearing... wearing a wig for real.

683. 'Cause all... this is all my hair.

684. I know. Us... us Osbournes are

685. blessed with such fine hair.

686. I'll get your head shaven.

687. Get your blockhead made up.

688. You've heard that before, 'blockhead.'

689. Mm hmm.

690. That's where it comes from.

691. Although some of those hairstyles in the '80s...

692. those are pretty wig like.

693. off.

694. Now do you see what I'm doing here?

695. I'm actually wrapping the hairs around, tightening it up,

696. slide it right over, and then I'm going to

697. stitch it on to the base here, layer upon layer upon layer.

698. Oh, yeah.

699. Why did people wear wigs?

700. Because it's fashion.

701. Oh, yeah.

702. And, and, and we want to imitate our betters.

703. Who sets the fashions where you come from?

704. Obviously it's men of great prominence.

705. Politicians. Musicians perhaps.

706. I mean, you did have some big hair in the '80s.

707. It wasn't that big.

708. You're right. It was huge.

709. Now would you want to put a wig on your head, Jack?

710. Sure.

711. Very good, indeed.

712. How we looking?

713. I'm looking the part?

714. I dare say so.

715. You got a club wig on at the moment.

716. Oh, there we go.

717. Most fashionable.

718. Can I... can I... can I take...

719. You can put your hat on.

720. Can I put my hat on?

721. And I'll let you see what you look like.

722. Wow.

723. You're most handsome, Master Jack.

724. I'll tell you that, straightaway.

725. And, and the big hair got smaller and smaller.

726. And those tips just got frostier and frostier.

727. What?

728. It's like Duran Duran and Jerry Seinfeld had a kid.

729. It's called fashion, Jack.

730. The '80s was such a dark time.

731. Let's get something on for Master O.

732. I think this one's better.

733. I think so. I think this one speaks to more of

734. who Master Osbourne is...

735. I think you should stand up, side by side.

736. He looks like his lordship now.

737. Now do you see that one up... right up there?

738. That, that white one up there?

739. The, the big one.

740. On the shelf. That one right there.

741. That's a macaroni.

742. He's a ladies' man, that would be right there.

743. Ah.

744. Now we're talking.

745. It's most fashionable.

746. So I'm not going to shave you today, sir.

747. So you don't have to get a bit nervous.

748. Hmm...

749. Although we could... I think maybe we

750. should shave it.

751. Yeah.

752. Here you go.

753. I'm all yours.

754. Oh, my God. This is amazing.

755. Hold your head up, sir, now.

756. You look like...

757. This is amazing.

758. quite a ladies' man.

759. Do you want a mirror to see what you look like?

760. Yeah.

761. I'll show you right here.

762. That's a ladies' man's wig right there.

763. I dare say, it's going to be costing about

764. at least ten pounds.

765. Two acres of land for this one wig right here.

766. Hmm.

767. So my dad and I are finally headed to Jamestown.

768. And, uh, we're going to try and solve

769. this mystery to see if there were actually

770. any Osbournes there.

771. Uh, before we go though, I need my dad to redo

772. his DNA spit test.

773. Last time we did it, it was mostly coffee in his.

774. So, uh, we need to get a clean sample.

775. Hello?

776. Hi, Jack.

777. Hi.

778. How are you doing? Did you sleep good?

779. I slept all right. What's going on?

780. So what, what are we doing today?

781. Jamestown.

782. Oh, great. Fabulous.

783. Uh, but before we go, um,

784. remember the DNA test we did?

785. Yeah.

786. I need to get you to do another one 'cause

787. you had coffee 30 minutes before.

788. I can't believe I had to spit in this

789. thing all over again.

790. Well, it's easier than a piss test.

791. I think I got more piss than spit.

792. All right. That should be enough.

793. All right then. Let's get this going.

794. All right, we're good to go. I'm going to send this off.

795. It's all weird to me.

796. Thousands of people do this.

797. Jamestown?

798. Are you sure about that, old Jeffrey Dahmer over there?

799. No.

800. I can imagine that one would only really

801. want to eat someone if that was the only

802. thing left to eat.

803. It's crazy, right?

804. What if his feet stank?

805. I think everyone stank back then.

806. That's true.

807. I still don't get why you're so obsessed with cannibalism.

808. My options are limited.

809. I'm not eating gluten anymore.

810. And let's not forget.

811. It's the other white meat.

812. Uh, I found online a bunch of stuff about the

813. Osbournes that were there.

814. It begs the question of, were we related?

815. By one way or the other.

816. I mean, there were probably were cannibal Osbournes.

817. Best of both worlds. We both could be happy.

818. Yes.

819. Hi, Dr. Kelso.

820. It's Jack and Ozzy Osbourne.

821. Yeah, we're actually about five minutes away.

822. Just wanted to make sure that we're still good to go.

823. Great. They are, uh, expecting us.

824. Okay. Great.

825. And we're just, I'm, I'm excited.

826. 'Cause this doctor is going to give us

827. the no BS assessment. Yeah.

828. You know, it's going to be like, 'Here's what happened.'

829. I'll tell you what. The thing about Jamestown is,

830. I keep going on about it, but what's really intriguing

831. to me is there were cannibals.

832. When you're hungry, you'll eat anything.

833. Yeah. We could have eaten each other. Oof.

834. I had arranged for us to meet Dr. William Kelso,

835. the lead archeologist at Jamestown.

836. I had hoped he could tell us what we wanted to

837. know about the Osbournes in Colonial America.

838. Oh, and cannibalism.

839. Couldn't forget the cannibalism.

840. Here we go.

841. Let's get our Jamestown on.

842. Triangle hats.

843. Yeah.

844. This seems like a good place to set up shop, right?

845. Nice, marshy land.

846. They're probably saying, What the did

847. we settle here for?

848. I mean, they must have been, like, really?

849. Have we gone mad?

850. This is... this is the new world?

851. So this is what I remember reading

852. about Jamestown back in school.

853. British colonists actually—

854. —first built Fort James on a swampy island

855. in Virginia in 1607.

856. Jamestown was the first permeant settlement in

857. what would become the United States.

858. Oh, the Queen came here.

859. Yeah.

860. What the she come here for?

861. This was the birthplace of the British Empire.

862. So Captain John Smith actually led the way in teaching

863. the colonists basic survival skills.

864. The colonists were lousy farmers so they depended

865. on the Native Americans for help.

866. Jamestown actually got on its feet when Pocahontas'

867. husband began harvesting tobacco to export to Europe.

868. The epic failure of Jamestown was now a boomtown.

869. I like his boots.

870. John Smith.

871. Here. Selfie with John Smith.

872. Watch out, Dad. Don't, like, catch fire.

873. What?

874. We're walking into a church.

875. Don't ignite. Get the holy water.

876. We need an old priest and a young priest.

877. Yeah. Yeah.

878. Wow.

879. It's the original...

880. Four hundred years ago.

881. Yep.

882. But this must have been the first steeple they had.

883. Yep.

884. Dr. Kelso. How's it going?

885. Okay. I'm Jack Osbourne.

886. Hi. Nice to meet you, Jack.

887. Pleasure to meet you.

888. Ozzy. Pleased to meet you.

889. Nice to meet you. Yes.

890. Wow. Thanks for, uh, taking the time to meet with us.

891. Well, okay. To orient you, this is a quarter scale model.

892. So that's the size of what it was.

893. And this was supposed to have been lost to

894. river erosion for two and a half centuries.

895. Before tobacco farming—

896. —kickstarted the economy, Jamestown pretty much

897. perished between 1609 and 1610.

898. The winter was absolutely terrible.

899. The Native Americans turned on the settlers

900. and there was literally nothing to eat.

901. They called it 'the starving time.'

902. And only 60 of the original colonists actually survived.

903. People were cannibalized here?

904. Yeah. Right behind you here, uh, in an open cellar

905. that's been reopened by us.

906. And, uh, what we found in one of the layers in there was,

907. like, a mutilated skull.

908. Human skull. Uh, and a severed leg bone.

909. Wow.

910. It turned out to be a 14-year-old English girl.

911. So was she dead when, when the actual...

912. Yeah. She wasn't killed for it. Uh...

913. Okay.

914. Uh, you could tell from the forensic,

915. the way the cuts were on the skull, uh,

916. that she wasn't moving around.

917. So it was very desperate times.

918. I'll bet. I mean, yeah.

919. I mean, it's one thing to hear about

920. cannibalism at Jamestown.

921. But then we they start telling us that it

922. was a 14-year-old girl that they ate.

923. It's one thing about eating someone.

924. But she's been dead for a while and dug her up.

925. Ugh.

926. So we're walking into an area that was an

927. expanded part of the fort.

928. And those guys are down in another one of these

929. cellars, uh, that was probably underneath what

930. was called a blockhouse.

931. So this is totally active and you guys are

932. pulling out artifacts from here—

933. Yes.

934. —regularly?

935. Why don't you come in?

936. Sure.

937. And get a little closer here.

938. This is Marianne and Dave.

939. Hi, Marianne. Hi, Dave.

940. Hey, Marianne and Dave.

941. Real archeologists.

942. Found anything lately?

943. Yeah, a little bit.

944. Yeah, this was just found in the last hour.

945. Wow.

946. Can I touch them?

947. Yeah.

948. Those are bricks. Uh, those are probably

949. the first of the earliest bricks in the country.

950. And some Indian pottery.

951. Whatever is sort of the fallout of what was life.

952. Sure. Their trash is our treasure.

953. Now is there a... is there... is there, uh,

954. ledges of names of people who were here?

955. Yes.

956. Were they maintained?

957. Yes. Not as complete as we like it.

958. But, um, uh, the first 104, maybe 80 people names.

959. Were there any Osbournes?

960. Was there any way we can actually

961. see a list of names?

962. Yeah. And we have what we call an archaearium.

963. It's, it's, it's a different sort of

964. museum of archeology.

965. And if you jus go in that direction, you'll get there.

966. Awesome.

967. Thank you very much.

968. Okay. Thank you.

969. After the cannibalism story,

970. I wasn't sure we wanted to know the answer.

971. Dr. Kelso arranged for us to...

972. Is that what it is?

973. Yeah. That's the Rediscovery Center.

974. Wow.

975. Before we went to the museum to see if

976. there were actually any Osbournes at Jamestown,

977. Dr. Kelso arranged for us to check out the lab.

978. And the skull of the 14-year-old girl

979. the archeologist called Jane.

980. Hello.

981. Hi.

982. Hello. Welcome.

983. Thank you.

984. Ooh.

985. Whoa.

986. They got all this from here?

987. That must have been unbelievable.

988. Yeah, I mean, it's pretty crazy to think that they

989. went from, like, 300 people down to, like, 60.

990. It must have been like an all you can

991. eat buffet down there.

992. What's the story with Jane?

993. Jane, we found in that kitchen cellar.

994. She was consumed during this,

995. that starving time winter of 1609 and '10.

996. Is this her?

997. This is a 3D print of her.

998. These are first tentative marks on her cranium.

999. But she was dead when they... they ate her?

1000. Yes.

1001. I wonder how they could tell it was...

1002. she was dead before they ate her.

1003. By the sequence of strike marks,

1004. even if you've passed out and you get hit,

1005. you will move.

1006. And so there would be—

1007. Sort of be like the...

1008. Sort of be, like, under a microscope... yep.

1009. You'd see that in the actual cut marks.

1010. They rolled her over onto her face.

1011. Did major cuts on her back with an axe.

1012. 'Til they cut...

1013. Why would they eat the head?

1014. Was it... was there more flesh on it?

1015. The brain actually has the most calories.

1016. Oh. Really? The brain?

1017. So they busted her skull open to eat her brain?

1018. Oh, man.

1019. So it...

1020. It's like my wife's cooking.

1021. The crack continued up through the sagittal,

1022. uh, suture and the coronal suture.

1023. And then they also went through her ear with a knife.

1024. So they...

1025. To actually open up the, the cavity to,

1026. to get to the brain.

1027. Is there any record, did they kill her to eat her?

1028. Or was, had she already died?

1029. There... there are two examples, uh,

1030. that make it into the historic record.

1031. Uh, one is they dug up a native Indian after

1032. he had died and consumed him.

1033. And then, in six instances, they mentioned a woman

1034. who was powdered and consumed by her husband,

1035. save her head.

1036. Now what does 'powdered' mean?

1037. Salted.

1038. Ah.

1039. Yeah.

1040. Ah, okay. So he made, like, jerky out of her.

1041. So you'd eat her leg.

1042. I'd have a wing or a leg or an arm.

1043. I kind of think, though, that making jerky out

1044. of your wife would be better.

1045. She was a jerk.

1046. She was a total jerk.

1047. After our look around the lab, we moved on

1048. to the Jamestown museum, hoping to meet the real Jane.

1049. Oh... and any other Osbourne who might

1050. have been there.

1051. Or even eaten her.

1052. G.I. Jane over here.

1053. It's the actual skull. Look.

1054. Look at the marks in the...

1055. Yeah.

1056. And they whacked her with a ...

1057. Ugh. That's just so horrible.

1058. Oh, look, here's the names of the original...

1059. I know.

1060. The original 104.

1061. Is anybody... are there any names...

1062. not only of us.

1063. Are there any names you can see that we know?

1064. Let's see. Oh, there's John Smith.

1065. You know why they're called Smith?

1066. Why? Because they were blacksmiths?

1067. Blacksmiths.

1068. Carpenters. So it was, like, letting you know

1069. what their trade was.

1070. So he was a sailor. He was a barber.

1071. Bricklayer. Bricklayer. Masons.

1072. There's no Osbournes listed on the wall.

1073. I'm going to go check out the bookstore.

1074. Hey, Dad. Look, I just found this geology book.

1075. And it's got a bunch of stuff about Osbournes in it.

1076. John Osbourne. February 16th, 1624,

1077. John Osbourne was living on Jamestown Island

1078. where he headed a household that included his wife.

1079. On December 31st...

1080. There's a Thomas Osbourne.

1081. There's more information on him.

1082. A George Osbourne. Wow, there's so many.

1083. A lot... a lot of Osbournes here.

1084. Kelly Osbourne.

1085. We should leave her here.

1086. On June 1621, Bridewell Court decided that George Osbourne,

1087. who had been sentenced to prison at Middlesex,

1088. would be transported overseas.

1089. So part of his sentence was he got sentenced here.

1090. Very interesting.

1091. Look at that sky.

1092. It looks like a fire isn't it?

1093. A fire in the sky.

1094. You know, of the 104 settlers, there weren't

1095. any Osbournes. But...

1096. Yeah.

1097. But later on, you know, some Osbournes turned up.

1098. So I'm just... I'm hoping that maybe

1099. those DNA tests we did can maybe unveil some connection.

1100. Dad.

1101. What's up?

1102. I got the DNA results.

1103. What from... oh, yeah. That thing we did.

1104. Yeah. From the... when you had to spit in the jar.

1105. The bad news is, I know we were kind of doing this

1106. to see if there was any connection to us in Jamestown.

1107. Because there were a lot of Osbournes there.

1108. And so far, there is nothing that

1109. proves that we had any family members at Jamestown.

1110. I found this interesting.

1111. Now genetically speaking, it says here that, um,

1112. you have, uh, DNA of a cannibal Neanderthal tribe.

1113. Oh, great.

1114. So here's a question.

1115. Would you rather a sweet human or a salty human?

1116. I wouldn't fancy any human to eat.

1117. You've changed.

1118. But if it's a bat, you'd be all over it.

1119. Oh, that bat again.

1120. That bat gets more airplay than me.