1. - GOOD MORNING.
- GOOD MORNING.Copy !req
2. - I'M GONNA
TAKE THAT AS A YES.Copy !req
3. - MM-HMM.
- MM.Copy !req
4. - SANTOSH.Copy !req
5. - ALL RIGHT,
I'LL BE SANTOSH,Copy !req
6. THE INDIAN SERVANT GIRL.Copy !req
7. - NO, BEHIND YOU.Copy !req
8. - OH.Copy !req
9. YOU GOTTA STOP
COMING IN WITHOUT KNOCKING.Copy !req
10. - SO...
I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLECopy !req
11. TO COME AROUND FOR
THE NEXT COUPLE OF NIGHTS.Copy !req
12. - OH, YEAH, YOUR MOM'S
IN TOWN, RIGHT?Copy !req
13. - USUALLY I DON'T
INTRODUCE HERCopy !req
14. TO THE MEN
THAT I'M DATING, BUT...Copy !req
15. - MEET THE MOM.
- SHE'LL LIKE YOU.Copy !req
16. YOU'RE THE FIRST NICE GUY
THAT I'VE DATED.Copy !req
17. - HEY, JERRY.Copy !req
18. - TODD-O, HEY,
JUST A HYPOTHETICAL—Copy !req
19. IF I EVER CAME TO INDIA,
HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE YOUCopy !req
20. TO GET YOUR OFFICE
PRESENTABLE?Copy !req
21. - UH, WHENEVER YOU WANNA COME,
WE'LL BE READY.Copy !req
22. - GREAT.
I'LL BE THERE IN ABOUT AN HOUR.Copy !req
23. JERRY, WHY ARE YOU
MESSING WITH ME, MAN?Copy !req
24. YOU'RE NOT IN INDIA.Copy !req
25. - THEN, OH, WHO'S THIS GUY?Copy !req
26. THE GHOST OF
GAY PRIDE PARADES PAST?Copy !req
27. - OH, MY GOD,
HE'S REALLY HERE.Copy !req
28. - THERE ARE WOMEN IN AMERICA
WHO WOULD KILL FOR THAT FIGURE.Copy !req
29. - THANK YOU VERY MUCH, PLEASE.
GOOD-BYE.Copy !req
30. - HEY, DEMPSY.Copy !req
31. THERE YOU ARE.Copy !req
32. I NEED YOUR HELP.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER?Copy !req
33. - ONE OF MY WORKERS
JUST FILED A COMPLAINT,Copy !req
34. SAID I'M INSENSITIVE
TO INDIAN CULTURE.Copy !req
35. - OH, BOY,
THIS SHOULD BE GOOD.Copy !req
36. WHAT'D YOU DO?Copy !req
37. - UH... OH, THAT'S THE SPOT.Copy !req
38. AH, YEAH. OOH.Copy !req
39. HEY.Copy !req
40. OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH.Copy !req
41. - YOU USED ONE OF THEIR GODS
AS A BACKSCRATCHER?Copy !req
42. - WELL, FOR STARTERS.Copy !req
43. - YO.Copy !req
44. - YOU BROKE OFF ONE
OF HIS ARMS?Copy !req
45. - IF ONLY.Copy !req
46. - WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
- I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
47. ELEPHANT MAN JUST DIDN'T
LOOK RIGHT WITH FIVE ARMS.Copy !req
48. - NO, THAT'S GANESH,
THE REMOVER OF OBSTACLES.Copy !req
49. - SEE, THAT'S
THE KIND OF OBSCURE CRAPCopy !req
50. YOU'VE GOTTA TEACH ME.Copy !req
51. I GOT A CONFERENCE CALL
WITH H.R. TOMORROWCopy !req
52. AND I GOTTA DEFEND MYSELF.
AND GET THIS—Copy !req
53. THE H.R. LADY
BACK IN THE STATES IS INDIAN.Copy !req
54. - OH, CHARLIE,
I CAN'T HELP YOU NOW.Copy !req
55. I MEAN, MY BOSS IS DROPPING
IN ON A SURPRISE VISIT.Copy !req
56. I GOTTA GET THE WORKERS READY.Copy !req
57. I MEAN, CAN'T YOU JUST APOLOGIZECopy !req
58. AND SAY YOU DIDN'T REALIZE
IT WAS A STATUE OF A GOD?Copy !req
59. - YEAH, I CAN'T USE
THAT ONE AGAIN.Copy !req
60. MY FIRST MONTH HERE,
I MADE THE MISTAKECopy !req
61. OF LOCKING MY BIKE TO A STATUE
OF A DUDE WITH THREE HEADS.Copy !req
62. - WHICH GOD IS THAT?
- I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME,Copy !req
63. BUT YOU'D THINK ONE OF
HIS SIX EYES WOULD'VE SEENCopy !req
64. THAT DAMN KID
RIPPING OFF MY BIKE.Copy !req
65. AH. OOH.Copy !req
66. WHAT?Copy !req
67. NO?
- NO.Copy !req
68. WHEN JERRY GETS HERE,
IT'S REALLY IMPORTANTCopy !req
69. TO MAKE A GOOD
FIRST IMPRESSION, OKAY?Copy !req
70. SO JUST BE YOURSELVES.Copy !req
71. - YOU HEARD THE MAN.
ACT NATURAL, BE YOURSELVES.Copy !req
72. - YES.Copy !req
73. AND YOURSELF
IS NOT THE MANAGER,Copy !req
74. SO I WILL...
HOLD ON TO THIS.Copy !req
75. - TODD, WHY WOULD JERRY
BE COMING HERE?Copy !req
76. - ALL RIGHT, I DON'T MEAN
TO SCARE YOU GUYS,Copy !req
77. BUT THE LAST TIME JERRY DROPPED
BY AN OFFICE UNANNOUNCED,Copy !req
78. THE WHOLE OPERATION
WAS OUTSOURCED TO INDIA.Copy !req
79. - WHERE?
MY COUSIN NEEDS A JOB.Copy !req
80. - NO, I WAS TALKING ABOUT
THIS CALL CENTER.Copy !req
81. - IS THERE AN OPENING?Copy !req
82. - YOU KNOW WHAT,
WHY DON'T WE DO A TRIAL RUN?Copy !req
83. ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
84. I'LL BE JERRY.Copy !req
85. HELLO, YOUNG LADY.Copy !req
86. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
87. - TOUCHING FEET IS
A SIGN OF GREAT RESPECT.Copy !req
88. - MAYBE YOU SHOULD
JUST GIVE HIM A HANDSHAKE?Copy !req
89. - YOU WANT ME
TO TAKE HIS HAND?Copy !req
90. - MM-HMM.
- WELL, WHILE I'M AT IT,Copy !req
91. WHY DON'T I
JUST GIVE HIM A LAP DANCE?Copy !req
92. - HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW
WHAT A LAP DANCE IS?Copy !req
93. - THE HOME STRIPPER KITCopy !req
94. WAS VERY POPULAR
THIS HOLIDAY SEASON.Copy !req
95. - IT'S A PLEASURE TO
MEET YOU, SIR.Copy !req
96. - MM-HMM.
UH, LOOK...Copy !req
97. IT'D BE GREAT IF
YOU COULD HELP ME OUT.Copy !req
98. - ANYTHING, JERRY.Copy !req
99. - NO, WHEN I LEAN
INTO YOU, I'M TODD.Copy !req
100. - BUT YOUR TODD VOICE
IS THE SAME AS YOUR JERRY.Copy !req
101. I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE COMMITTING TO THIS.Copy !req
102. CHANGE VOICES,
WEAR A HAT, FUNNY WALK—Copy !req
103. GIVE THIS JERRY SOMETHING.Copy !req
104. - MANMEET, FOCUS.
- YES, TODD OR JERRY?Copy !req
105. - CAN YOU SAY
SOME NICE THINGS ABOUT MECopy !req
106. TO COUNTERBALANCE ALL THE
BAD STUFF RAJIV IS GONNA SAY?Copy !req
107. - IT WOULD BE AN HONOR
TO SAY NICE THINGSCopy !req
108. ABOUT THE BEST BOSS
I'VE EVER HAD.Copy !req
109. CRAP LIKE THAT?
- YEAH, EXACTLY.Copy !req
110. - IT'S SO NICE
TO FINALLY MEET YOU.Copy !req
111. DID THEY SERVE YOU PEANUTS
ON YOUR FLIGHT?Copy !req
112. WHAT IS UP
WITH THOSE TINY BAGS?Copy !req
113. FIVE PEANUTS IS NOT A MEAL,
AM I RIGHT?Copy !req
114. - NO, DON'T.
DON'T DO THAT.Copy !req
115. - BUT SERIOUSLY,
WHY DO MEN HAVE NIPPLES?Copy !req
116. - GUPTA,
WHEN JERRY GETS HERECopy !req
117. YOU CAN ONLY SAY THREE WORDS.Copy !req
118. WELCOME...
- WELCOME...Copy !req
119. - TO...
- TO...Copy !req
120. - INDIA...
- INDIA.Copy !req
121. - MM-HMM.
- WELCOME TO INDIA.Copy !req
122. A LITTLE LOUD IN
THE MIDDLE.Copy !req
123. WELCOME TO...
DRAMATIC PAUSE.Copy !req
124. INDIA.Copy !req
125. THAT'S THE ONE.Copy !req
126. WELCOME TO...Copy !req
127. INDIA.Copy !req
128. - OKAY.Copy !req
129. UH, WHEN I SAID
"BE YOURSELF,"Copy !req
130. I KIND OF FORGOT
WHO YOU WERE.Copy !req
131. LOOK, JERRY'S VERY
OLD SCHOOL.Copy !req
132. ALL RIGHT,
HE'S ALL ABOUT BUSINESS.Copy !req
133. SO WHEN HE GETS HERE,
I NEED YOU GUYSCopy !req
134. TO BE AS PROFESSIONAL
AS POSSIBLE.Copy !req
135. HEY, KOOKABURRA.Copy !req
136. - I MADE AN 8:00
RESERVATION AT LAL MIRCH.Copy !req
137. AND MY MOM
CANNOT WAIT TO MEET YOU.Copy !req
138. - AW, SOUNDS GREAT.Copy !req
139. I'LL DROP JERRY OFF
AT HIS HOTELCopy !req
140. AND I'LL MEET YOU
FOR DINNER.Copy !req
141. - WHAT'S UP, INDIOS?Copy !req
142. GRAB SOME GLASSES.Copy !req
143. IT'S TEQUILA TIME!Copy !req
144. - TODD, WE HAVE TO GET RID
OF THIS DRUNKEN TOURISTCopy !req
145. BEFORE JERRY COMES.
- THAT IS JERRY.Copy !req
146. HEY, JERRY.
- TODD.Copy !req
147. OH...Copy !req
148. LOVE THE LID.Copy !req
149. LET ME GUESS.
TURBAN OUTFITTERS?Copy !req
150. - YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANNA GO
BACK TO THE HOTEL?Copy !req
151. MAYBE FRESHEN UP A LITTLE BIT
BEFORE WE BEGIN?Copy !req
152. - I ALREADY DID.Copy !req
153. TOOK A LITTLE
WHORE'S BATH IN THE SINK.Copy !req
154. RAJIV!
GET OVER HERE, YOU!Copy !req
155. - IT IS THE HONOR OF
ALL HONORS TO MEET YOU, SIR.Copy !req
156. - WELCOME...
- TO INDIA.Copy !req
157. - BUT I—
AH.Copy !req
158. - GREAT TO FINALLY SEE YOU
IN PERSON, BUDDY.Copy !req
159. MAN, I DIG THE 'STACHE.Copy !req
160. YOU SHOULD BE TYING YOUNG WOMEN
TO RAILROAD TRACKS.Copy !req
161. - JUST GIVE ME THE WORD.Copy !req
162. THIS COUNTRY
HAS AN ABUNDANCE OFCopy !req
163. RAILROAD TRACKS AND WOMEN.Copy !req
164. OH! I LOVE THE SHIRT.Copy !req
165. WHO MAKES THAT?Copy !req
166. - HMM?
I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
167. - I LOOK FORWARD
TO SHOWING YOUCopy !req
168. THAT I AM SUPERIOR
TO TODD IN EVERY WAY.Copy !req
169. - I CAN HEAR YOU.
- EXCEPT HEARING.Copy !req
170. - OKAY, JERRY,
WHY DON'T WE INTRODUCE YOUCopy !req
171. TO THE WORKERS?
- YES.Copy !req
172. - THIS IS ASHA.
- IT IS SO NICE TO MEET YOU.Copy !req
173. - AND YOU.
- THERE ARE SOME PASTRIESCopy !req
174. IN THE BREAK ROOM
IF YOU'RE HUNGRY.Copy !req
175. - OH, THANK GOD.
THE FOOD ON THE PLANE WAS NASTY.Copy !req
176. - OH, I'M SURE.Copy !req
177. AFTER ALL, FIVE PEANUTS
IN A BAG, THAT'S NOT A MEAL.Copy !req
178. - WHY DO MEN HAVE NIPPLES?Copy !req
179. - ALL RIGHT,
YOU'VE ALREADY MET GUPTA.Copy !req
180. AND THIS IS MADHURI.Copy !req
181. MADHURI, MADHURI.Copy !req
182. - HERE.Copy !req
183. ENCHANTEE.Copy !req
184. - I JUST GAVE AWAY
THE MILK FOR FREE.Copy !req
185. - JERRY...Copy !req
186. THIS IS MANMEET,
ONE OF OUR TOP SELLERS.Copy !req
187. - ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
188. - AND TODD IS
ONE OF OUR TOP BOSSES.Copy !req
189. - AW, WELL...Copy !req
190. - IN A WORLD
WITHOUT ROLE MODELS,Copy !req
191. HE IS A ROLE MODEL.Copy !req
192. WHICH MEANS IT'S A WORLD
WITH ONE ROLE MODEL.Copy !req
193. SO IF HE LEFT,
WE WOULD BE BACK TOCopy !req
194. THAT ORIGINAL WORLD
WITH NO ROLE MODELS.Copy !req
195. - OKAY.
WELL, THANK YOU.Copy !req
196. UH, OKAY, JERRY...Copy !req
197. NOW WE'RE GONNA
TAKE YOU THROUGH THE BOOKS,Copy !req
198. AND YOU WILL LISTEN IN
ON SOME PHONE CALLS,Copy !req
199. AND WE'LL DO SOME THINGS—Copy !req
200. HUH? WHAT?
- VERY CLEVER, SIR.Copy !req
201. TODD'S SPEAKING
PUTS YOU TO SLEEP.Copy !req
202. - ALL RIGHT, RAJIV.Copy !req
203. - YOU DON'T NEED TO...Copy !req
204. - YEAH, IT'S
PRETTY BORING, RIGHT?Copy !req
205. - AW, COME ON, TODD.
LOOK, I AM HERECopy !req
206. TO BOND WITH
THE STAFF, RIGHT?Copy !req
207. SYNERGIZE, INCENTIVIZE,
CONVERSATE.Copy !req
208. I AM HERE, BUDDY,
TO DRINK OUTSIDE THE BOX.Copy !req
209. - SO YOU'RE NOT HERE
TO FIRE PEOPLE?Copy !req
210. - NOT UNLESS
THEY SHOW ME A BAD TIME.Copy !req
211. ALL RIGHT,
EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP.Copy !req
212. I'M TAKING YOU ALL OUT!Copy !req
213. COME ON!Copy !req
214. - YOU'RE TAKING
THE ENTIRE OFFICE OUTCopy !req
215. ON THE CORPORATE
CREDIT CARD?Copy !req
216. - GOOD CALL, DEMPSY.
HANG ON.Copy !req
217. EVERYBODY ON THIS SIDE,
STAY AND WORK.Copy !req
218. EVERYBODY OVER HERE,
GATHER UP.Copy !req
219. COME ON, TURN, AND FACE THEM,
AND REPEAT AFTER ME.Copy !req
220. "SUCKS TO BE YOU."Copy !req
221. IT SUCKS TO BE YOU.Copy !req
222. - IT SUCKS TO BE YOU.
IT SUCKS TO BE YOU.Copy !req
223. - THE "YOU."
IT SUCKS TO BE YOU.Copy !req
224. IT SUCKS TO BE YOU.
- THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT.Copy !req
225. - SO I'M TRYING
TO EMBRACE YOUR CULTURE.Copy !req
226. WHICH ONE OF THESE THINGS
WON'T GIVE ME THE TROTS?Copy !req
227. - I'LL TAKE A CHAI.Copy !req
228. - HEY, GUPPA.
CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?Copy !req
229. - NO, BUT YOU
CAN ASK GUPTA SOMETHING.Copy !req
230. - NO OFFENSE,
BUT YOU'RE INDIAN, RIGHT?Copy !req
231. - YES.Copy !req
232. - I'VE BEEN
CATCHING HEAT AT WORK.Copy !req
233. SOMEONE COMPLAINED
I'M INSENSITIVECopy !req
234. TO THE LOCAL CULTURE.
- NO.Copy !req
235. - SO I NEED
A CRASH COURSE ON INDIA—Copy !req
236. THE FOOD, THE CLOTHES,
THE CUSTOMS...Copy !req
237. BASICALLY EVERYTHING
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO AVOIDCopy !req
238. SINCE I GOT HERE.Copy !req
239. WHAT I NEED IS
AN INDIAN FRIEND TO GUIDE ME.Copy !req
240. - YOU INSULT MY CULTURE,Copy !req
241. YOU CAN'T PRONOUNCE MY NAME,Copy !req
242. AND NOW YOU WANT ME
TO BE YOUR FRIEND?Copy !req
243. - YEAH.Copy !req
244. - WE'RE GOING
TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN!Copy !req
245. - TO THE BRAIN CELLS THAT
WILL NOT BE WITH US TOMORROW.Copy !req
246. - WHOO!
- YEAH.Copy !req
247. - TO ROLLIN' THE DICE
WITH THAI WOMEN.Copy !req
248. - WHERE ARE YOU?Copy !req
249. - I'M STILL WITH JERRY.Copy !req
250. - YOU'VE BEEN
WITH JERRY ALL DAY.Copy !req
251. - I KNOW, I KNOW.
BUT LOOK, HE'S MY BOSS.Copy !req
252. AND WE'RE GOING OVER
WORK STUFF.Copy !req
253. - CEMENT MIXER TIME.
BACK IT UP, BITCHES.Copy !req
254. UH-BOOP, UH-BOOP, UH-BOOP.Copy !req
255. BA-BOOP, BA-BOOP, BA-BOOP.Copy !req
256. - MOM AND I HAVE
BEEN HERE FOR AN HOUR.Copy !req
257. - ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
HE'S GONNA BE PASSING OUTCopy !req
258. ANY MINUTE NOW,
SO JUST GO AHEAD AND ORDERCopy !req
259. AND I'LL BE THERE
AS SOON AS I CAN, ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
260. - OKAY, BYE.Copy !req
261. - SIR?
I HAVE TO GO.Copy !req
262. JERRY JUST ASKED ME
FOR MY PHONE NUMBER.Copy !req
263. - OH, MADHURI,
I'M SO SORRY!Copy !req
264. - IT'S OKAY.
I GAVE HIM PINKY'S NUMBER.Copy !req
265. I ALWAYS GIVE THEM
PINKY'S NUMBER.Copy !req
266. - INDIA IS THE LARGEST
DEMOCRACY IN THE WORLD.Copy !req
267. WE INVENTED CHESS,
GEOMETRY, AND TANDOORI.Copy !req
268. WHEN COLUMBUS
DISCOVERED YOUR COUNTRY,Copy !req
269. HE WAS LOOKING FOR INDIA
AND OUR SPICES.Copy !req
270. - WELL, I CAN SEE
HOW HE GOT CONFUSED.Copy !req
271. 'CAUSE THERE WERE
ALREADY INDIANS IN AMERICA.Copy !req
272. - NO, CHARLIE.
THOSE INDIANS...Copy !req
273. BIGGER FISH TO FRY.Copy !req
274. LET'S GET BACK
TO THE FLASH CARDS.Copy !req
275. - THAT'S THE GOD, SHIVA.
DESTROYER, TRANSFORMER.Copy !req
276. KINDA LOOKS LIKE
THAT DUDE FROM AVATAR.Copy !req
277. - MANY OF THEM DO.
A LAWSUIT IS PENDING.Copy !req
278. - MY GUT IS TELLING ME
TEMPLE OF DOOM,Copy !req
279. BUT I'M GONNA SAY...
TAJ MAHAL.Copy !req
280. 'CAUSE I THINK
IT'S A TRICK QUESTION.Copy !req
281. - VERY GOOD.Copy !req
282. - THAT'S A COW IN DRAG.Copy !req
283. - NO, CHARLIE, THE COW IS
DECORATED BECAUSE IT IS SACRED.Copy !req
284. WE REVERE THE COW
FOR THE MILK IT PROVIDES.Copy !req
285. - IT ALSO PROVIDES MEAT.Copy !req
286. WHY CAN'T YOU
WORSHIP IT FOR THAT?Copy !req
287. - THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY.Copy !req
288. WHEN THE COW IS ALIVE,
IT CAN FEED MANY PEOPLE.Copy !req
289. WHEN IT IS DEAD,
IT CAN ONLY FEED A FEW.Copy !req
290. - OH.Copy !req
291. NEVER THOUGHT
ABOUT IT LIKE THAT.Copy !req
292. - HMM.Copy !req
293. OH...Copy !req
294. - PASS.Copy !req
295. - WELL, IF YOU KNEW
A FAMOUS INDIAN,Copy !req
296. IT WOULD PROBABLY BE HIM.Copy !req
297. - WAIT A MINUTE.
- WHAT?Copy !req
298. - IS THAT
THE GUY OVER THERE?Copy !req
299. - NO, IT IS NOT THAT MAN.
- THE SHOESHINE GUY.Copy !req
300. - RIDICULOUS!
- IT LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM.Copy !req
301. LITTLE GLASSES,
YEAH.Copy !req
302. I THINK THAT—HEY!
- STOP IT.Copy !req
303. - HEY!
- NO.Copy !req
304. - wack!Copy !req
305. - SO, BOYS...Copy !req
306. WHERE NEXT?Copy !req
307. - SHH, PINKY, HE'S OUT.Copy !req
308. IT'S OVER.
GO HOME.Copy !req
309. - SECOND WIND!
COME ON!Copy !req
310. - WHAT DEMON
POWERS THIS MAN?Copy !req
311. - AH, THIRD WIND!
COME ON.Copy !req
312. I COULD GO ALL NIGHT LONG.Copy !req
313. - UH, THANK GOD,
HE'S OUT.Copy !req
314. COME ON, LET'S
GET HIM TO THE HOTEL.Copy !req
315. - YES, PLEASE.Copy !req
316. I JUST WANT TO BE
DONE WITH THIS NIGHT.Copy !req
317. VIMI'S ALREADY FURIOUS
WITH ME.Copy !req
318. I BUTT-DIALED HER,Copy !req
319. AND SHE OVERHEARD ME
ORDER JERRY'S DRINKS.Copy !req
320. HOW AM I GONNA
EXPLAIN MY REQUESTCopy !req
321. FOR TWO BUTTERY NIPPLES
AND SEX ON THE BEACH?Copy !req
322. - OH, CRAP, TONYA.Copy !req
323. HEY, CAN YOU HANG ON TO HIM?Copy !req
324. - MM.Copy !req
325. WELL, YOU MISSED DINNER.Copy !req
326. - I KNOW, I KNOW.
I'M SO SORRY.Copy !req
327. UM, LOOK,
IT'S NOT THAT LATE,Copy !req
328. MAYBE I COULD
MEET YOU FOR A DRINK.Copy !req
329. I JUST GOTTA DROP JERRY
OFF AT HIS HOTEL.Copy !req
330. - TIME TO TIP THE COW!Copy !req
331. JUST LIKE KANSAS, BUDDY.Copy !req
332. - NO!
- NO!Copy !req
333. HEY, TONYA.Copy !req
334. UM, GONNA
BE A LITTLE LATE.Copy !req
335. SO HOW DOES YOUR MOM
FEEL ABOUT BREAKFAST?Copy !req
336. - MAYBE WE
COULD HAVE BRUNCH HERE.Copy !req
337. THIS SEEMS
LIKE THE BRUNCH CROWD.Copy !req
338. UGH, THIS IS
THE NASTIEST STRIP CLUB EVER.Copy !req
339. I GOT DIBS
ON THE BIG GIRL.Copy !req
340. - I AM WORKING ON IT.
I WILL GET US OUT OF HERE.Copy !req
341. - AH.Copy !req
342. - THIS IS BAD,
THIS IS REALLY BAD!Copy !req
343. - JERRY, CALM DOWN.Copy !req
344. - I'VE SEEN SLUMDOG, TODD.
I KNOW HOW IT WORKS HERE.Copy !req
345. I HAVE A LOW PAIN THRESHOLD,
AND I AM TERRIBLE AT TRIVIA.Copy !req
346. I AM A DEAD MAN, TODD.
- SHUT UP, JERRY.Copy !req
347. - SHUT UP?
- YOU DRAG ME OUT ON A BENDER,Copy !req
348. YOU SCREW THINGS UP WITH
MY GIRLFRIEND,Copy !req
349. AND YOU GET ME ARRESTED.
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?Copy !req
350. MY WIFE LEFT ME.Copy !req
351. - SO THIS INCIDENT
WAS ACTUALLY A BLESSING.Copy !req
352. IT FINALLY OPENED
MY EYESCopy !req
353. TO THE FLAVOR, THE HISTORY,
THE PEOPLECopy !req
354. OF THIS BEAUTIFUL LAND.Copy !req
355. I GUESS WHAT
I'M TRYING TO SAY...Copy !req
356. - CHARLIE, I HAVE
NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS.Copy !req
357. I GREW UP IN WISCONSIN.Copy !req
358. - IT'S HINDI FOR
"INDIA IS NOW MY HOME."Copy !req
359. - WOW, I'M IMPRESSED.Copy !req
360. YOU ACTUALLY LEARNED
TO SPEAK HINDI.Copy !req
361. - NOT JUST SPEAK.Copy !req
362. YOU'RE GONNA STAY SEATED
FOR THE INDIAN NATIONAL ANTHEM?Copy !req
363. - CHARLIE, YOU OBVIOUSLY
TOOK THE COMPLAINTS TO HEART.Copy !req
364. I ACTUALLY
CAME INTO THIS THINKINGCopy !req
365. I WAS GONNA HAVE TO SEND YOU
BACK TO THE STATES.Copy !req
366. - SEND WHAT TO THE WHO NOW?Copy !req
367. - WE HAD A SPOT FOR YOU
AT CORPORATE IN MONTANA.Copy !req
368. - NEAR THE GAME PRESERVE?Copy !req
369. - IT'S NOT
A GAME PRESERVE ANYMORE.Copy !req
370. THE HERDS HAVE RECOVERED,Copy !req
371. SO YOU CAN SHOOT
WHATEVER YOU WANT.Copy !req
372. - BUT YOUR UNDERSTANDINGCopy !req
373. OF THE CULTURE
IS INVALUABLE.Copy !req
374. HELL, YOU'RE MORE INDIAN
THAN I AM.Copy !req
375. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.Copy !req
376. - WAIT.Copy !req
377. - WE DID IT.Copy !req
378. - YEAH.
WE DID IT.Copy !req
379. LOOKS LIKE I'M STUCK HERE.Copy !req
380. - CHARLIE...Copy !req
381. REMEMBER OUR CONVERSATION
ABOUT REINCARNATION.Copy !req
382. WE'RE NOT STUCK ANYWHERE.Copy !req
383. WE JUST ARE.Copy !req
384. - YEAH.Copy !req
385. THANKS, GUPTA.Copy !req
386. - AH, YOU GOT
MY NAME RIGHT.Copy !req
387. - SURE I DID, BUDDY.Copy !req
388. BUDDY!Copy !req
389. - NOW, I KNOW I WASN'T
THE PERFECT HUSBAND,Copy !req
390. BUT IS IT A CRIME
TO PAY ANOTHER WOMANCopy !req
391. TO GIVE YOU THE AFFECTION
THAT YOUR WIFECopy !req
392. WAS WITHHOLDING FROM YOU?Copy !req
393. - YES.
- I KNOW IT WAS A CRIME.Copy !req
394. BUT IS IT A CRIME CRIME?
- YES, YES.Copy !req
395. - WELL, AT LEAST I CAME CLEAN.
AND WHAT DID I GET?Copy !req
396. HER AND THAT THERAPIST
GANGING UP ON ME,Copy !req
397. TELLING ME EVERY TIME
I GOT A PROBLEMCopy !req
398. I RUN AWAY AND GET DRUNK.Copy !req
399. - JERRY, YOU CAME
TO INDIA AND GOT DRUNK.Copy !req
400. - THIS IS
A BUSINESS TRIP, TODD.Copy !req
401. YOU SOUND JUST LIKE NANCY.Copy !req
402. I SWEAR,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DOCopy !req
403. TO MAKE THAT WOMAN HAPPY.Copy !req
404. - STOP DRINKING LIQUOR
AND GOING TO PROSTITUTES!Copy !req
405. - RAJIV...
- NO!Copy !req
406. I HAVE REACHED
MY POINT OF BREAKING.Copy !req
407. YOU ARE THROWING AWAY
THE GREATEST TREASURE OF ALL.Copy !req
408. MARRIAGE IS THE BIGGEST
COMMITMENT A PERSON CAN MAKE.Copy !req
409. YOU DON'T JUST GIVE UP ON ITCopy !req
410. AND DISHONOR YOUR FAMILY
BY GETTING DIVORCED.Copy !req
411. - ARE YOU EVEN MARRIED?Copy !req
412. - I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY.Copy !req
413. I WORK EVERY DAY
TO GET PROMOTED TO MANAGERCopy !req
414. SO THAT I WILL BE WORTHY
OF MARRYING VIMI.Copy !req
415. AND ONCE SHE IS MY WIFE,Copy !req
416. I WILL ALLOW NOTHING
TO THREATEN OUR UNION.Copy !req
417. BUT YOU, YOU DON'T THINK
ABOUT THE PROMISE YOU MADE.Copy !req
418. YOU ONLY THINK ABOUT
WHATEVER MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD.Copy !req
419. IF YOU WERE A REAL MAN,Copy !req
420. YOU WOULD
FIGHT FOR YOUR WOMAN.Copy !req
421. - GIVE ME YOUR PHONE,
DEMPSY.Copy !req
422. COME ON,
I GOTTA MAKE A CALL.Copy !req
423. GOT THE MACHINE.Copy !req
424. HI, NANCY.Copy !req
425. SUPPOSE YOU'VE BEEN WAITING
A LONG TIME TO HEAR THIS,Copy !req
426. BUT I'M SORRY.Copy !req
427. I'M A SCREWUP.Copy !req
428. AND STARTING TODAY,
I'M GONNA TURN THAT AROUND.Copy !req
429. I SWEAR.Copy !req
430. I'M GONNA COME HOMECopy !req
431. AND SHOW YOU THAT
I'M A DIFFERENT MAN.Copy !req
432. JUST KEEP
YOUR FINGERS CROSSEDCopy !req
433. I CAN GET THIS COW
TO DROP THE CHARGES.Copy !req
434. I LOVE YOU, BABE.Copy !req
435. - OY, TODD.Copy !req
436. - TONYA.Copy !req
437. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?Copy !req
438. - WE JUST BAILED OUT
YOU THREE.Copy !req
439. - THIS IS THE NICE BOYCopy !req
440. YOU WERE SO ANXIOUS
FOR ME TO MEET?Copy !req
441. - HEY, AND YOU
MUST BE TONYA'S SISTER.Copy !req
442. - OH, IT'S TOO LATE
FOR THAT.Copy !req
443. - OH, THAT'S NOT EXACTLYCopy !req
444. THE IMPRESSION
I WANTED TO MAKE.Copy !req
445. - YEAH.
SHE'S NOT A BIG FAN.Copy !req
446. MM, THE BIG FELLA
IN THE CORNERCopy !req
447. IS STARING AT YOU FUNNY.Copy !req
448. - OH, YEAH, YEAH.Copy !req
449. HE WAS TRYING TO MAKE WINE
IN THE TOILET,Copy !req
450. AND I ACCIDENTALLY FLUSHED,
SO WE GOTTA GO NOW—NOW.Copy !req
451. SO YOU READY TO GO
THROUGH THE BOOKS NOW?Copy !req
452. - NO, GOING BACK HOME.Copy !req
453. PATCH THINGS UP.Copy !req
454. I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU GUYS
DID FOR ME HERE.Copy !req
455. I WAS IN A BAD PLACE,Copy !req
456. AND YOU SCREWED
MY HEAD BACK ON STRAIGHT.Copy !req
457. I'D LIKE TO DO SOMETHING
FOR YOU GUYS.Copy !req
458. CONGRATULATIONS,Copy !req
459. I'M MAKING YOU
EXECUTIVE MANAGER.Copy !req
460. THERE'S NO MORE PAY,
OR BENEFITS,Copy !req
461. OR ANY
ADVANTAGE WHATSOEVER.Copy !req
462. IN FACT, YOU'LL HAVE TO
PRINT UP NEW BUSINESS CARDS,Copy !req
463. WHICH WILL COST YOU MONEY.Copy !req
464. - SO WHY
ARE YOU DOING THIS?Copy !req
465. - SO I CAN DO THIS.Copy !req
466. RAJIV...Copy !req
467. STAND UP.Copy !req
468. - MANAGER?
REALLY?Copy !req
469. - NOW YOU CAN MARRY VIMI.Copy !req
470. - THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY
OF MY LIFE.Copy !req
471. OOPS, NOT YET.Copy !req
472. - AMERICA, WE INVENTED
THE LIGHT BULB, THE COMPUTER,Copy !req
473. THE SWIMSUIT ISSUE,
SPRING BREAK,Copy !req
474. THE SPORK, HARD-SHELLED TACOS,
AND THE BEATLES.Copy !req
475. U.S.A.Copy !req
476. - ASK AWAY.Copy !req
477. - TELL ME ABOUT THIS MAN.Copy !req
478. - AFTER FIGHTING
IN VIETNAM, HE WENT ONCopy !req
479. TO BECOME ONE OF AMERICA'S
MOST-BELOVED PRESIDENTS.Copy !req
480. - OKAY, CURVEBALL COMING.Copy !req
481. - MEXICO?
- CLOSE ENOUGH.Copy !req
482. I ALSO WOULD'VE ACCEPTED
CALIFORNIA OR ARIZONA.Copy !req
483. - OH.Copy !req
484. - ALL RIGHT, WHERE IS THIS?Copy !req
485. - PARIS...Copy !req
486. PARIS HOTEL AND CASINO
IN LAS VEGAS.Copy !req
487. - CORRECT.Copy !req
488. PARIS PEOPLE DON'T DRINK
FROM YARD-LONG PLASTIC CUPS.Copy !req
489. - GOT IT.
- NOW...Copy !req
490. LET'S TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE
OF AMERICAN DOGS.Copy !req
491. - HOT DOG.Copy !req
492. CORN DOG.Copy !req
493. CHILI DOG.Copy !req
494. SNOOP DOGG.
- VERY GOOD.Copy !req
495. - YOU'RE MY DOG.
- YOU'RE MY DOG.Copy !req
496. TCHA!Copy !req