Outsourced 1x14

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Sathya Jesudasson as Santosh • Carla Gallo as Debbie • Melissa Stephens as Ashlynn • Jackie O'Brien as White Yoga Lady • Ali Supriwala as Delivery Man

Todd leads anger-management training to improve the staff's customer-service skills, but he's surprised to learn that Gupta is in need of the most help. Elsewhere, Madhuri receives a Valentine's Day gift from a secret beau.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - GOOD MORNING.

2. OH. DID WE GET MORE PRODUCTS IN?

3. "I LOVE YOU BEARY MUCH."

4. WE SELL SOME CHEESY CRAP.

5. - MY BOYFRIEND GAVE THAT TO ME.

6. - AND IT IS BEARY SWEET.

7. I LOVE PUNS.

8. DID YOUR BOYFRIEND GET THIS FOR YOU AT THE MAUL?

9. MAUL. RRARGH.

10. - SIR, COULD I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?

11. - OH, SURE, YEAH. WHAT DO YOU NEED?

12. - I JUST NEEDED THAT TO STOP.

13. - HEY, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU GUYS CELEBRATED VALENTINE'S DAY.

14. - OH, YES. SOME PEOPLE CALL IT SWEETHEARTS' DAY.

15. IT'S A VERY BIG DEAL HERE.

16. - NOT TO THE INDIANS WHO REFUSE TO CHEAPEN THE NOTION OF LOVE

17. WITH WESTERN COMMERCIALIZATION—

18. CHOCOLATES, FLOWERS,

19. FAT, FLYING INFANTS ARMED WITH CROSSBOWS.

20. AH, YES, SOMEONE ELSE HAS BEEN DUPED INTO WASTING

21. THEIR HARD-EARNED MONEY

22. ON WHAT ARE ESSENTIALLY PLANT GENITALS.

23. - ACTUALLY, RAJIV, THIS IS FROM VIMI TO YOU.

24. SHE "WUVS" ME?

25. I "WUV" HER TOO.

26. - ACTUALLY, THEY'RE FOR MANMEET, BUT IT'S NICE TO SEE

27. YOU HAVE A HEART IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

28. - YES, A HEART THAT PUMPS BLOOD TO MY BRAIN

29. SO I CAN MAKE RATIONAL DECISIONS

30. AND NOT GET SUCKED INTO THIS TAWDRY, MATERIALISTIC—

31. - I WAS JOKING. THEY REALLY ARE FROM VIMI.

32. - MY PUMPKIN? MY DARLING?

33. - OH, NOW I FEEL REALLY BAD

34. BECAUSE THEY'RE ACTUALLY FOR MANMEET.

35. - WHAT DO I CARE?

36. I AM A STONE.

37. I HAVE BEEN JOKING WITH YOU THIS ENTIRE TIME.

38. - I HAVE DELIVERY FOR RAJIV GIDWANI.

39. - DOUBLE-CHECK THAT CARD, YOU SON OF A BITCH.

40. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

41. - MAUL...

42. THE BEAR IS MAULING.

43. - HELLO.

44. OKAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, PLEASE. GOOD-BYE.

45. - YES, SIR, I DO HAVE TWO EYES.

46. YES, SIR, I ACTUALLY HAVE 20/20 VISION.

47. FORGET ABOUT IT.

48. - HEY, TODD. HEY, TODD.

49. CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?

50. - OH, WAIT. IS THIS ABOUT WOMEN OR ABOUT WORK?

51. - OH, COME ON, MAN, HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU ABOUT WORK?

52. - WHAT'S UP?

53. - OKAY, I HAVE A DILEMMA.

54. SEE, BOTH DEBBIE AND ASHLYNN EXPECT ME

55. TO TAKE THEM OUT FOR VALENTINE'S DAY.

56. - OH, IS THE DILEMMA THAT THEY'RE IN AMERICA

57. AND YOU'RE HERE? - NO.

58. I VIDEO-CHAT WITH THEM AFTER WORK.

59. I TALK TO DEBBIE ON FRIDAYS

60. AND TO ASHLYNN LATE AT NIGHT SATURDAYS

61. AFTER SHE CLOSES THE COLD STONE CREAMERY.

62. I JUST CAN'T DECIDE WHO TO PICK. - WELL, YOU COULD TRY JUGGLING.

63. TWO DATES THE SAME NIGHT.

64. I TRIED IT ONCE—

65. TWO GIRLS, TWO DINNERS,

66. TWO AWKWARD REJECTIONS AT THE DOOR.

67. BUT I GOT A GREAT STORY OUT OF IT.

68. - WHAT'S THE STORY?

69. - WELL, THAT WAS IT.

70. - FINE! FINE! HAVE IT YOUR WAY.

71. THANK YOU FOR CALLING!

72. - ANGER MANAGEMENT IS ESSENTIAL FOR GOOD CUSTOMER SERVICE.

73. - THANKS, GUPTA.

74. THIS IS JUST HOW I WANTED TO SPEND MY BREAK.

75. - OH, TEMPER, TEMPER.

76. - UH, NOW, THIS IS A RELAXATION VIDEO THEY SHOWED US

77. BACK WHEN I STARTED AT MID AMERICA NOVELTIES.

78. AND, ACTUALLY, I THINK IT'S RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY.

79. - NAMASTE.

80. THAT'S INDIAN FOR "GREETINGS."

81. - TODD, THERE IS NO SUCH LANGUAGE AS INDIAN.

82. - I KNOW. - YOGA IS THE GREATEST GIFT

83. OF THESE SPIRITUAL, MAGICAL PEOPLE.

84. - WE'RE INDIANS, NOT ELVES.

85. - YOGA IS AN EFFECTIVE WAY

86. TO RELIEVE STRESS.

87. ENERGY IS EVERYWHERE.

88. AND EVERYTHING IS ENERGY.

89. AND AT THE SAME TIME...

90. IT IS NOTHING.

91. AND THEREFORE IT IS NOWHERE.

92. - WHAT THE HELL IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?

93. - THE BEAUTY OF YOGA

94. IS IN ITS SIMPLICITY.

95. IT WAS INVENTED BY A PEOPLE

96. WHO HAD NOTHING BUT A DIRT FLOOR,

97. AND LOOK WHAT THEY CAME UP WITH.

98. - OH! - NAMASTE.

99. - OKAY, WELL, I GUESS THAT WAS A LITTLE LESS OFFENSIVE

100. WHEN I WAS WATCHING IT BACK IN KANSAS

101. WHEN I DIDN'T KNOW ANY INDIANS, BUT, UH...

102. I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH YOU MAGICAL BASTARDS.

103. YOU KNOW, I HAD YOUR JOB.

104. I'LL JUST TRAIN YOU MYSELF.

105. I WANT THAT BIRD FEEDER WHERE THE CATS

106. ARE TRYING TO CATCH THE BIRDS.

107. - OKAY, MA'AM, IF YOU COULD JUST GIVE ME THE ITEM—

108. - NOW BIRDS IS SPELLED B-U-R-D-S.

109. GET IT?

110. B-U-R-D-S.

111. - OKAY, IF YOU COULD JUST TELL ME—

112. - THE CATS WROTE IT THEMSELVES.

113. - OKAY, I GET IT. - MM-HMM.

114. WHAT? WHA—WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

115. NUMBER? WHAT—YOUR DAMN ACCENT IS SO THICK!

116. - WELL, MAYBE YOU COULD UNDERSTAND ME

117. IF YOU SCOOPED THAT CLAM CHOWDER OUT FROM BETWEEN YOUR EARS.

118. RED SOX SUCK. - OKAY.

119. YOU JUST INSULTED THE CUSTOMER.

120. IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE GONNA LOSE YOUR COOL,

121. JUST TRANSFER THE CALL TO ME.

122. OH, ONE THING,

123. VERY IMPORTANT,

124. YANKEES SUCK.

125. OKAY, PINKY, LET'S DO THIS.

126. - IF YOU'LL HOLD, PLEASE,

127. I'D LIKE TO TRANSFER YOU TO MY MANAGER.

128. - BUT, PINKY, WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED YET.

129. - YOUR CALL IS VERY IMPORTANT TO US.