1. - TODD! YOU'RE BACK, HUH?Copy !req
2. HOW WAS MANAGEMENT TRAINING?Copy !req
3. - WHAT HAPPENED?Copy !req
4. UM, WHERE IS EVERYBODY?Copy !req
5. - COSTS WERE THROUGH THE ROOF.Copy !req
6. YOU KNOW, PENSIONS,
HEALTH CARE.Copy !req
7. WE HAD TO DO
A LITTLE RIGHT-SIZING.Copy !req
8. - THERE'S NO ONE HERE.Copy !req
9. - EXACTLY. THAT'S WHAT
MAKES US THE RIGHT SIZE.Copy !req
10. YESTERDAY, WE OUTSOURCED
THE ENTIRE CALL CENTER TO INDIA.Copy !req
11. - "YOU BASTARD"?Copy !req
12. - THAT'S FOR ME.Copy !req
13. - WAIT. WAIT A MINUTE.Copy !req
14. JERRY,
I WENT THROUGH TRAININGCopy !req
15. SPECIFICALLY
TO RUN THIS CALL CENTER.Copy !req
16. - I KNOW.
- AND?Copy !req
17. - WE STILL WANT YOU
TO RUN THE CALL CENTER...Copy !req
18. IN INDIA.Copy !req
19. - HA HA HA!Copy !req
20. YOU WANT ME TO GO TO INDIA?Copy !req
21. - TODD, IF YOU DO THIS
FOR THE COMPANY,Copy !req
22. WE'RE GONNA BUMP YOU
UP TO VICE PRESIDENT.Copy !req
23. AND IF YOU DON'T, WELL,
WE'RE ALREADY THE RIGHT SIZE.Copy !req
24. THERE ARE
NO MORE POSITIONS HERE.Copy !req
25. - WAIT, SO YOU'RE SAYING,
GO TO INDIA,Copy !req
26. OR I'M OUT OF A JOB?Copy !req
27. - MM-HMM.
OH.Copy !req
28. - I WORKED HARD
FOR THIS COMPANY.Copy !req
29. I WAS THE BEST SALESMAN.Copy !req
30. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?Copy !req
31. WHO'S TO SAY
I'M NOT GONNA GO OUT THERECopy !req
32. AND START
MY OWN NOVELTIES COMPANY, HUH?Copy !req
33. - DON'T YOU OWE, LIKE,
40 GRAND IN STUDENT LOANS?Copy !req
34. - WHOA!Copy !req
35. OH, MAN, THIS IS INSANE!Copy !req
36. IT'S LIKE—IT'S LIKE FROGGER,
BUT WITH REAL PEOPLE.Copy !req
37. - BEFORE WE ARRIVE,
I TOOK THE LIBERTYCopy !req
38. OF HAVING
THESE NAME TAGS MADE.Copy !req
39. - OH. "TODD DEMPSY: MANAGER."Copy !req
40. WOW. THANK YOU, RAJIV.Copy !req
41. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.Copy !req
42. - MY PLEASURE, SIR.Copy !req
43. - YOURS SAYS MANAGER, TOO.Copy !req
44. - YOU ARE MOST PERCEPTIVE.Copy !req
45. AS THEY SAY IN AMERICA,Copy !req
46. "YOUR ELEVATOR
GOES TO THE PENTHOUSE."Copy !req
47. - WE DON'T REALLY SAY THAT.Copy !req
48. - I THINK YOU DO.Copy !req
49. - WHY DOES
YOURS SAY MANAGER, TOO?Copy !req
50. - OH, I'M
SIMPLY PLANNING AHEAD.Copy !req
51. YOU SEE,
AFTER YOU RETURN TO AMERICA,Copy !req
52. I WILL BECOME MANAGER
OF THE CALL CENTER.Copy !req
53. I THOUGHT TO MYSELF,
WHY PRINT A NAME TAGCopy !req
54. THAT SAYS "ASSISTANT MANAGER"Copy !req
55. WHEN IT IS
ONLY A MATTER OF TIMECopy !req
56. BEFORE YOU TRIUMPH HERE
AND MAKE A GLORIOUS HOMECOMING?Copy !req
57. - OH, WOW. SO YOU'VE GOT IT
ALL FIGURED OUT, HUH?Copy !req
58. - AFTER I BECOME MANAGER,
MY SALARY WILL INCREASE ENOUGHCopy !req
59. THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO MOVE OUT
OF MY PARENTS' APARTMENTCopy !req
60. AND FINALLY MARRY VIMI.Copy !req
61. IT SEEMS OUR FATES
ARE TIED, SIR.Copy !req
62. YOUR TRIUMPHS
ARE MY TRIUMPHS.Copy !req
63. YOUR VICTORIES
ARE MY VICTORIES.Copy !req
64. WE NEED A VICTORY.Copy !req
65. - OKAY, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH, PLEASE. GOOD-BYE.Copy !req
66. - COME NOW!Copy !req
67. YOU ARE PAID TO WORK, NOT TO
SIT AROUND DOING CHITCHAT!Copy !req
68. IT IS MY GREAT PLEASURE
TO INTRODUCE MR. TODD DEMPSY.Copy !req
69. - HELLO.
HELLO, EVERYONE.Copy !req
70. I'M, UH, REALLY—Copy !req
71. I'M, UH... LOOKING FORWARDCopy !req
72. TO WORKING WITH
ALL OF YOU AS YOUR MANAGER,Copy !req
73. SO, UH, LET'S GET TO KNOW
ONE ANOTHER, OKAY?Copy !req
74. - MY NAME IS GUPTA—
- HELLO.Copy !req
75. HI. TODD.
- MANINDRA.Copy !req
76. - M—NICE NAME.Copy !req
77. HELLO. UH... OKAY.Copy !req
78. HELLO. UM,
AND YOUR NAME IS, UH...Copy !req
79. - MADHURI.Copy !req
80. - WHAT? EXCUSE ME?
- MADHURI.Copy !req
81. - JUST A LITTLE LOUDER
THIS TIME.Copy !req
82. - AHEM.Copy !req
83. - MADHURI.Copy !req
84. - I'M SORRY, I'M NOT...Copy !req
85. - UH, MOVING ON.Copy !req
86. - SHE WORKS THE PHONES?
REALLY?Copy !req
87. - HI. HELLO.
- OH.Copy !req
88. - I'M MANMEET.Copy !req
89. - MAN-MEAT?
- YES, MANMEET.Copy !req
90. YOUR NAME IS MAN-MEAT?Copy !req
91. - YES.Copy !req
92. WELL, GUESS IT MUST BE
HARD TO CHAT ON THE INTERNETCopy !req
93. WITH A NAME LIKE MAN-MEAT.Copy !req
94. ALL RIGHT,
WE WILL TALK LATER.Copy !req
95. - OKAY.Copy !req
96. - HELLO.Copy !req
97. - HELLO. I'M ASHA.Copy !req
98. - AH, NICE TO MEET YOU, ASHA.Copy !req
99. THAT IS A PRETTY NAME.Copy !req
100. - THANK YOU.Copy !req
101. IT MEANS "HOPE."Copy !req
102. - REALLY? WELL,Copy !req
103. IN THAT CASE, I "ASHA"
TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER.Copy !req
104. HOPE TO GET TO KNOW YOU.Copy !req
105. - YES, I UNDERSTAND.Copy !req
106. - ALL RIGHT.
- MY NAME IS GUPTA—Copy !req
107. - I WILL GET TO KNOW THE REST
OF YOU THROUGHOUT THE DAY.Copy !req
108. THE PHONES ARE SWITCHING
OVER LATER.Copy !req
109. I HAD SOME NOVELTIES
SHIPPED OVERCopy !req
110. SO YOU CAN LEARN
ABOUT THE PRODUCTS.Copy !req
111. AND, OH, IN THE MEANTIME,Copy !req
112. I'M NOT SURE WHAT RELIGION
YOU GUYS ARE,Copy !req
113. BUT THIS IS YOUR NEW BIBLE.Copy !req
114. AND THE FIRST COMMANDMENT
IS KNOW THY CATALOG.Copy !req
115. - SIR, IF I MAY,
I WOULD LIKE TO SHOW YOUCopy !req
116. TO OUR OFFICES
IN THE EXECUTIVE SUITE.Copy !req
117. PLEASE FOLLOW ME.Copy !req
118. HERE WE ARE.Copy !req
119. - WHOA!Copy !req
120. THERE'S A COW.Copy !req
121. YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.Copy !req
122. - YES, THE COW
IS CONSIDERED SACRED.Copy !req
123. IT CAN GO WHERE IT PLEASES.
- REALLY? WOW.Copy !req
124. WELL, I GUESS YOU DON'T HAVE
TO GO FAR FOR THE CREAMER.Copy !req
125. - PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH
THE COW.Copy !req
126. - OF COURSE NOT.Copy !req
127. - I KNOW IT MUST BE DIFFICULT
FOR YOU AMERICANS TO UNDERSTAND,Copy !req
128. SINCE YOU EAT HAMBURGERS
MORNING, NOON, AND NIGHT.Copy !req
129. YOU ARE SO WEALTHY,
YOU PRACTICALLY BATHE IN MEAT.Copy !req
130. - WHOA, WHERE DO YOU
GET YOUR NEWS, MAN?Copy !req
131. - BUT FOR US HINDUS,
THE COW IS NOT A SOURCE OF MEAT.Copy !req
132. IT IS SACRED
BECAUSE OF THE MILK IT BRINGS.Copy !req
133. MUSLIMS AND JEWS
DO NOT EAT PIGS.Copy !req
134. WE DO NOT EAT COWS.
IS IT SO CRAZY?Copy !req
135. - YEAH, RAJIV, I GET IT.Copy !req
136. THE COW IS
NOT A SOURCE OF MEAT.Copy !req
137. IT IS A RELIGIOUS THING.Copy !req
138. YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA RESPECT
YOUR TRADITIONS.Copy !req
139. SO WHAT TIME IS LUNCH?Copy !req
140. - OKAY, UH, JUST GIVE ME
SOME OF THAT...Copy !req
141. YELLOW AND GREEN STUFF.Copy !req
142. - HEY, ARE YOU AMERICAN?Copy !req
143. - SADDLE UP.Copy !req
144. - THANKS. THANKS A LOT.Copy !req
145. - YEAH.Copy !req
146. CHARLIE DAVIES.Copy !req
147. I RUN THE CALL CENTER
FOR ALL-AMERICAN HUNTER.Copy !req
148. - TODD DEMPSY.Copy !req
149. I'M RUNNING THE CALL CENTER
FOR MID AMERICA NOVELTIES.Copy !req
150. - OH.
- JUST STARTED TODAY.Copy !req
151. - YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED.Copy !req
152. - WHAT?Copy !req
153. - YOU GOT THE PEPPER THING.Copy !req
154. - SO?
- DO YOU HATE YOUR OWN ASS?Copy !req
155. - REALLY?
IT'S THAT SPICY?Copy !req
156. - IF YOU EAT THAT, YOU'LL BE
CRAPPING YOURSELF FOR FIVE DAYS.Copy !req
157. NOT TALKING ABOUT TWO DAYS
OR THREE DAYSCopy !req
158. OR FOUR AND A LITTLE...Copy !req
159. I'M TALKING
ABOUT FIVE FULL DAYS.Copy !req
160. HERE.Copy !req
161. JIFFY PEANUT BUTTER
AND SMUCKER'S GRAPE JELLY.Copy !req
162. I GET IT SHIPPED FROM HOME.Copy !req
163. CHEETOS, HOSTESS CUPCAKE,Copy !req
164. AND MY BACKUP SANDWICH,Copy !req
165. HONEY-GLAZED HAM
AND GOOD OLD AMERICAN CHEESE.Copy !req
166. AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
YOU'RE NOT A WORLD POWERCopy !req
167. UNTIL YOU'VE GOT A CHEESE NAMED
AFTER YOUR COUNTRY.Copy !req
168. - SO THE SUPERPOWERS ARE US,
THE SWISS...Copy !req
169. - I'M NOT INTO POLITICS, OKAY?Copy !req
170. - OKAY.Copy !req
171. WELL, THANKS, UM...Copy !req
172. BUT I'M SURE
I'LL FIND SOME INDIAN FOODCopy !req
173. THAT I LIKE EVENTUALLY.Copy !req
174. - YEAH, IF YOU LAST
THAT LONG.Copy !req
175. - WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED
TO MEAN?Copy !req
176. - LOOK, NO OFFENSE, BUT I'VE
SEEN IT A MILLION TIMES.Copy !req
177. GUYS GET HOMESICK,
THEY CAN'T HACK IT HERE,Copy !req
178. SO THEY QUIT
AND GO BACK TO THE STATES.Copy !req
179. - WELL, I DON'T HAVE
A JOB TO GO BACK TO.Copy !req
180. I HAVE TO MAKE THIS WORK.Copy !req
181. - WELL, YOU BETTER HOPE YOU'VE
GOT SOME DECENT EMPLOYEES.Copy !req
182. - AREN'T ALL THE WORKERS
KIND OF THE SAME?Copy !req
183. NOT EVEN CLOSE.Copy !req
184. THERE'S AN "A" TEAM
AND A "B" TEAM.Copy !req
185. - HOW DO YOU TELL
THE DIFFERENCE?Copy !req
186. - WELL, THAT'S THE "A" TEAM
OVER THERE.Copy !req
187. THEY ALL WORK FOR THE BIG BOYS,
LIKE INTEL AND APPLE.Copy !req
188. THEY'VE ALL BEEN
TO THE STATES.Copy !req
189. THEY'VE EVEN STUDIED
ALL OUR DIFFERENT ACCENTS.Copy !req
190. - NO WAY.Copy !req
191. - HEY, YOU, COME HERE.Copy !req
192. YES, WHAT IS IT?Copy !req
193. - TELL ME SOMETHING.
YOU KNOW WHAT GRITS ARE?Copy !req
194. - WELL,
GRITS IS JUST GROUND UP CORN.Copy !req
195. I TELL YOU WHAT, MY MAMA
USED TO MAKE THE BEST GRITS.Copy !req
196. - ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
197. - I'D BE SITTIN'
ON THE FRONT PORCHCopy !req
198. WITH MY HOUND DOG, FREEDOM,
SIPPIN' ON SOME SWEET—Copy !req
199. - ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH!Copy !req
200. - Y'ALL TAKE CARE.Copy !req
201. - CREEPY, ISN'T IT?Copy !req
202. IT'S LIKE THEY'RE POD PEOPLE
OR SOMETHING.Copy !req
203. IS THAT YOUR GROUP
OVER THERE?Copy !req
204. YEAH, THEY PROBABLY DON'T KNOW
SQUAT ABOUT AMERICA.Copy !req
205. LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT
THE "B" TEAM, MY FRIEND.Copy !req
206. I WOULDN'T UNPACK
IF I WERE YOU.Copy !req
207. G'DAY, MATE.Copy !req
208. THAT'S TONYA.Copy !req
209. SHE RUNS THE CALL CENTER
FOR KOALA AIRLINES.Copy !req
210. THAT IS SOME GRADE "A" AUSSIE
RIGHT THERE.Copy !req
211. - SHE IS, UH...Copy !req
212. - THEY GOT THAT ACCENT,
THEY'RE ALL OUTDOORSY,Copy !req
213. AND THEY'RE ALL DESCENDED
FROM CONVICTS.Copy !req
214. GOD, I LOVE AUSTRALIAN WOMEN.Copy !req
215. - SO WHAT'S HER STORY?Copy !req
216. - AH, DON'T WASTE
YOUR TIME, MAN.Copy !req
217. I'VE SEEN HER HERE
FOR MONTHS.Copy !req
218. SHE HASN'T SAID
TWO WORDS TO ME.Copy !req
219. - HI.Copy !req
220. I'M GUESSING
YOU'RE A NEW BLOKE.Copy !req
221. - UH, YEAH.Copy !req
222. I JUST STARTED TODAY.Copy !req
223. - TONYA.
- TODD.Copy !req
224. - JUST THOUGHT
I'D COME AND SAY HI.Copy !req
225. YOU EVER NEED A CHAT,
JUST DROP BY THE OFFICE.Copy !req
226. YOU NEED ALL THE MATES YOU CAN
GET OUT HERE IN WOOP WOOP.Copy !req
227. - WOOP WOOP?Copy !req
228. - SORRY, THAT'S AUSSIE FOR
OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.Copy !req
229. I THINK YOU YANKS SAY
OUT IN THE STICKS.Copy !req
230. - OH, NO,
I LIKE WOOP WOOP.Copy !req
231. IT'S FUN TO SAY.Copy !req
232. WOOP WOOP.Copy !req
233. - WOOP WOOP!Copy !req
234. IT IS FUN.Copy !req
235. - WELL, UM, CHEERS.Copy !req
236. OH, NO.Copy !req
237. - OH, DID YOU READ THE PAPER?
THERE WAS A...Copy !req
238. - PLEASE DON'T COME IN HERE.Copy !req
239. - WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM?Copy !req
240. - HE WON'T STOP TALKING.Copy !req
241. BELIEVE ME, YOU DON'T WANT TO
GET STUCK WITH GUPTA.Copy !req
242. - OH, YEAH, WE HAD A GUY LIKE
THAT BACK IN MY OLD OFFICE.Copy !req
243. ED MILLNER.
HE'D NEVER SHUT UP.Copy !req
244. YOU GOT STUCK WITH HIM
IN THE BREAK ROOM, FORGET IT.Copy !req
245. YOU COULDN'T SHAKE HIM.Copy !req
246. - SO HOW DID YOU HANDLE IT?Copy !req
247. HELLO, YOU—Copy !req
248. WHERE DID—Copy !req
249. OH, OKAY.Copy !req
250. - YEAH, BACK HOME,
WE HAD A BIGGER PANTRY.Copy !req
251. - DO YOU KNOW ANY REDHEADS?Copy !req
252. - EXCUSE ME?Copy !req
253. - I'M LOOKING FOR A WIFE,Copy !req
254. AND I LIKE REDHEADS.Copy !req
255. AND BLONDES.Copy !req
256. DARK HAIR, TOO.Copy !req
257. - SO, ALL WOMEN?Copy !req
258. - YES, ALL OF THEM.Copy !req
259. - WELL, MY EX-GIRLFRIEND
WAS ACTUALLY A REDHEAD.Copy !req
260. - EX-GIRLFRIEND?
- YEAH.Copy !req
261. - DID SHE SAY NO?Copy !req
262. - NOT USUALLY.Copy !req
263. SAY NO TO WHAT?Copy !req
264. - WHEN YOU ASKED HER
TO MARRY YOU.Copy !req
265. - OH, I DIDN'T ASK HER
TO MARRY ME.Copy !req
266. WE WERE JUST DATING.Copy !req
267. - DATING UNTIL
YOU GET MARRIED, NAH?Copy !req
268. - NO.Copy !req
269. NO, NO, YOU SEE, MANMEET,
IN AMERICA,Copy !req
270. YOU DATE SOMEONE
FOR A WHILECopy !req
271. BEFORE YOU DECIDE
IF YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED.Copy !req
272. RIGHT,
YOU DATE A WOMAN,Copy !req
273. IT DOESN'T WORK OUT,
YOU DATE ANOTHER ONE,Copy !req
274. AND THEN ANOTHER ONE,
AND SO ON.Copy !req
275. OKAY.Copy !req
276. I REALIZE THAT SOUNDS
KIND OF MEANINGLESS, BUT—Copy !req
277. - IT SOUNDS WONDERFUL.Copy !req
278. - DID YOU READ THAT STORY
IN THE PAPER ABOUT THE INCHWORMSCopy !req
279. THAT ARE BOTH MALE AND FEMALE?Copy !req
280. - NO.Copy !req
281. - THEY HAVE BOTH
THE BOY AND GIRL PARTS,Copy !req
282. JUST LIKE MY AUNTIE NILU,Copy !req
283. WHICH COMES IN HANDY
WHEN SHE GOES TO THE CINEMA,Copy !req
284. BECAUSE SHE CAN
USE EITHER BATHROOM.Copy !req
285. SHE CAN SIT, SHE CAN STAND.
IT'S A MATTER OF CONVENIENCE.Copy !req
286. - AAH!Copy !req
287. - AAH!Copy !req
288. THE NOVELTIES ARE HERE.Copy !req
289. - BLOOD PUDDLE.
PAGE 21.Copy !req
290. SWEET.Copy !req
291. THE KEY TO OUR SUCCESS
IS SELLING ADD-ONS.Copy !req
292. YOU KNOW, SOMEBODY CALLS
TO BUY A PRODUCT,Copy !req
293. WE SUGGEST A RELATED PRODUCT
FOR THEM TO BUY AS AN ADD-ON.Copy !req
294. SO LET'S SAY SOMEBODY CALLS AND
THEY WANT TO BUY THIS, RIGHT?Copy !req
295. GREEN BAY PACKERS' COLORS,Copy !req
296. MIGHT WANT TO SUGGEST
THAT THEY ALSO BUY...Copy !req
297. A CHEESE HEAD.Copy !req
298. - WHAT IS A CHEESE HEAD?Copy !req
299. - YOU PUT THIS ON WHEN
YOU'RE ROOTING FOR THE PACKERS.Copy !req
300. ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
301. LET'S NOT MAKE FUN
OF EACH OTHER'S HEADGEAR, RIGHT?Copy !req
302. I MEAN, YOU GUYS HAVE GOTCopy !req
303. SOME PRETTY CRAZY-LOOKING HATS
YOURSELVES.Copy !req
304. MOSTLY ON THE WOMEN, THOUGH.Copy !req
305. - SIR?Copy !req
306. - UH, TODD.Copy !req
307. - TODD, I THINK
THE PROBLEM WE'RE HAVING HERECopy !req
308. IS THAT EVEN IF WE MEMORIZE
THE CATALOG,Copy !req
309. WHAT WE ARE MEMORIZING
MAKES NO SENSE TO US.Copy !req
310. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE?Copy !req
311. - WELL, FOR EXAMPLE, HERE
IS THE MIS-TLE-TOE NOVELTY.Copy !req
312. EVEN IF I MEMORIZE
THE ITEM NUMBER,Copy !req
313. THAT WON'T HELP ME,Copy !req
314. BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW
WHAT A MIS-TLE-TOE IS.Copy !req
315. - OKAY. WELL,Copy !req
316. MISTLETOE IS SOMETHING THAT YOU
PUT UP AT A CHRISTMAS PARTY.Copy !req
317. IT'S LIKE A SHRUB,
AND YOU HANG IT IN A DOORWAY,Copy !req
318. AND YOU WAIT FOR A REALLY
HOT WOMAN TO COME ALONG.Copy !req
319. YOU SURPRISE HER BY STANDING
NEXT TO HER UNDER THE MISTLETOE,Copy !req
320. AND IT'S A LITTLE AWKWARD,
BUT SHE HAS TO KISS YOU...Copy !req
321. BY LAW.Copy !req
322. - NO!
- MM.Copy !req
323. - THEN WHAT IS
THIS MISTLETOE BELT BUCKLE?Copy !req
324. - OH, THAT'S PRETTY CLEVER.Copy !req
325. SO YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KISS
UNDER THE MISTLETOE, RIGHT?Copy !req
326. SO IF YOU WORE THAT,Copy !req
327. SOMEONE WOULD HAVE
TO KISS YOU... DOWN THERE.Copy !req
328. - OHH!Copy !req
329. - THIS IS HOW YOU CELEBRATE
THE BIRTHDAYCopy !req
330. OF THE SON OF YOUR GOD?Copy !req
331. - AMERICANS, WE CAN HAVE FUN
AND BE HOLY AT THE SAME TIME.Copy !req
332. NEXT QUESTION.Copy !req
333. - WHY DO AMERICANS NEED
THESE THINGS?Copy !req
334. - AH. WE DON'T.Copy !req
335. - THEN WHAT IS THE PURPOSE?Copy !req
336. - THERE IS NO PURPOSE.Copy !req
337. IN AMERICA,
YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.Copy !req
338. YOU COULD BE THE PRESIDENT,
OR A SCIENTIST,Copy !req
339. OR YOU COULD EVEN INVENT...Copy !req
340. NOVELTIES LIKE...Copy !req
341. WHAT IS THAT, MAN?Copy !req
342. - THIS? THIS IS EXACTLY
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.Copy !req
343. SEE, MAYBE NO ONE NEEDS THIS.Copy !req
344. BUT IN AMERICA, NO ONE CAN STOP
YOU FROM MAKING IT.Copy !req
345. THIS IS THE DEFINITION
OF FREEDOM.Copy !req
346. THIS IS "JINGLE JUGS."Copy !req
347. - GOOD ONE.Copy !req
348. - OH, HERE WE GO, GUYS.Copy !req
349. - TODD, I'LL TAKE IT.Copy !req
350. - YEAH. GO FOR IT.
GO FOR IT.Copy !req
351. - THANK YOU FOR CALLING
MID AMERICA NOVELTIES.Copy !req
352. HOW CAN I HELP YOU?Copy !req
353. - YEAH, I WANT THAT MUG
ON PAGE SIX.Copy !req
354. - OF COURSE.Copy !req
355. CAN I PLEASE HAVE
THE ITEM NUMBER?Copy !req
356. - OH, YEAH.
UH, OKAY, LET'S SEE.Copy !req
357. UH... IT'S 256-KPR.Copy !req
358. - THAT'S 256, "K" AS IN KRISHNA,
"P" AS IN PUNJABI,Copy !req
359. "R" AS IN RAMAYANA.Copy !req
360. - RAM—RAMA-WHAT?Copy !req
361. WHERE AM I CALLING?Copy !req
362. IS THIS INDIA?Copy !req
363. - NO.Copy !req
364. - AM I CALLING FREAKIN' INDIA
TO GET A MUGCopy !req
365. THAT SAYS "AMERICA'S #1"?Copy !req
366. - NO.Copy !req
367. WE'RE IN DETROIT,Copy !req
368. CITY OF MOTORS
AND BLACK PEOPLE.Copy !req
369. - OKAY.Copy !req
370. WELL, LET'S, UM...Copy !req
371. LET'S TAKE A FIVE.Copy !req
372. RAJIV, CAN I...?Copy !req
373. I HAVE A QUESTION
ABOUT THE WORKERS.Copy !req
374. - DON'T WORRY, SIR,
I HAVE A PLAN.Copy !req
375. I'VE HIRED ONE EMPLOYEE
SPECIFICALLY TO BE FIRED.Copy !req
376. THIS WILL SCARE THE OTHERS
INTO WORKING HARDER.Copy !req
377. - NO, NO, NO,
I'M NOT GONNA FIRE SOMEONECopy !req
378. JUST TO MAKE
THE OTHERS SCARED.Copy !req
379. - SHE DOESN'T
BELONG HERE ANYWAY.Copy !req
380. SHE IS OF A LOWER CASTE.Copy !req
381. - YEAH, WELL, MY QUESTION
IS ABOUT ALL THE WORKERS.Copy !req
382. I MEAN...Copy !req
383. ARE THESE REALLY THE BEST
WORKERS THAT YOU COULD FIND?Copy !req
384. SIR,Copy !req
385. ARE YOU SUGGESTING
I HIRED LESSER EMPLOYEESCopy !req
386. TO MAKE YOU LOOK BAD?Copy !req
387. - NO, OF COURSE NOT.Copy !req
388. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?Copy !req
389. I MEAN, IF I CAN'T MAKE
THIS OFFICE WORK,Copy !req
390. THEY'RE GONNA GET RID OF ME.Copy !req
391. IN WHICH CASE,
THEY WILL NEED A NEW MANAGER.Copy !req
392. - PERHAPS THEY'LL TRY
A LOCAL.Copy !req
393. - RAJIV, I THOUGHT YOU WERE
ON MY SIDE.Copy !req
394. I THOUGHT
MY SUCCESS WAS YOUR SUCCESS.Copy !req
395. - IT IS.Copy !req
396. BUT ALSO, YOUR FAILURE
IS MY SUCCESS.Copy !req
397. EITHER WAY,
I'M ROOTING FOR YOU.Copy !req
398. BIG FAN.
BIG FAN.Copy !req
399. - I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A PET.Copy !req
400. BAD DOG!Copy !req
401. ROVER.Copy !req
402. - OKAY, GUYS.Copy !req
403. - IT'S
A FARTING GARDEN GNOME.Copy !req
404. - IT'S PRETTY COOL, HUH?Copy !req
405. OKAY, HERE'S THE DEAL.Copy !req
406. SO ASHA WAS RIGHT.Copy !req
407. EVEN IF YOU GUYS MEMORIZE
THE CATALOG,Copy !req
408. YOU'RE NOT REALLY GETTING
THE CULTURAL STUFF.Copy !req
409. SO IT'S TIME YOU GUYS LEARNED
ABOUT AMERICA.Copy !req
410. - PUT THAT COFFEE DOWN!Copy !req
411. COFFEE'S FOR CLOSERS ONLY.Copy !req
412. - NO.Copy !req
413. NO, JUST, JUST—
- WHAT?Copy !req
414. - WE'RE JUST—NO.Copy !req
415. ALL RIGHT, THESE PHONES
ARE GONNA START RINGING SOON,Copy !req
416. AND WE HAVE TO DO BETTER
THAN YESTERDAY, ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
417. WE HAVE TO START PUSHING
THOSE ADD-ONS,Copy !req
418. OR WE'RE ALL GONNA BE
OUT OF A JOB.Copy !req
419. LOOK, WE MAY NOT BE
THE CREAM OF THE CROP.Copy !req
420. WE'RE MORE LIKE
THE BAD NEWS BEARS.Copy !req
421. NO ONE KNOWS WHO
THE BAD NEWS BEARS WERE?Copy !req
422. - SIR, I WOULD VENTURE TO SAY
THAT THEY ARE BEARS,Copy !req
423. WHO, WHEN THEY COME INTO TOWN,
IT IS VERY BAD NEWS INDEED.Copy !req
424. - NO.Copy !req
425. - BECAUSE THEY ARE BEARS.Copy !req
426. - NO.Copy !req
427. - WHO WANTS A BEAR
IN THEIR VILLAGE?Copy !req
428. - NO, RAJIV, IT'S A MOVIE.Copy !req
429. IT'S A MOVIE ABOUT A BASEBALL
TEAM WITH A BUNCH OF LOSERS.Copy !req
430. - ARE WE THE LOSERS
IN THIS STORY?Copy !req
431. - YES.Copy !req
432. NO. NO! NO, NO.Copy !req
433. BECAUSE MY POINT
IS THAT EVERYONECopy !req
434. THOUGHT THEY WERE LOSERSCopy !req
435. UNTIL THEY PROVED
PEOPLE WRONG,Copy !req
436. AND THAT IS EXACTLY
WHAT YOU ARE GONNA DO.Copy !req
437. SO, BY THE END
OF THE DAY,Copy !req
438. I WANT EVERYONE,
AND I MEAN EVERYONE,Copy !req
439. TO SELL ONE ADD-ON.Copy !req
440. - OR WHAT?Copy !req
441. - THERE IS NO "OR WHAT,"Copy !req
442. 'CAUSE I BELIEVE
YOU'RE GONNA DO IT.Copy !req
443. - SIR, IF YOU
LIKE THE BEER HELMET,Copy !req
444. WE ALSO HAVE A T-SHIRT
WHICH SAYS,Copy !req
445. "BEER MAKES
MY CLOTHES FALL OFF."Copy !req
446. I'M WEARING ONE RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
447. NO, YOU'RE A LIAR.Copy !req
448. - LET ME READ THAT ITEM NUMBER
BACK TO YOU.Copy !req
449. THAT'S 732-GRF.Copy !req
450. "G" AS IN GOODFELLAS,Copy !req
451. "R" AS IN RAGING BULL,Copy !req
452. "F" AS IN...
FORGETABOUTIT.Copy !req
453. - YES, SIR,
WE HAVE THAT IN STOCK.Copy !req
454. - MANY OF OUR CUSTOMERS
WHO BOUGHTCopy !req
455. OUR CONFEDERATE FLAG
SHOT GLASSESCopy !req
456. ALSO PURCHASED A DEER HEAD
WHICH YOU CAN MOUNT ON THE WALL.Copy !req
457. - WHY WOULD I MOUNT A DEER
I DIDN'T SHOOT?Copy !req
458. - BECAUSE THIS DEER SINGS
SWEET HOME ALABAMA.Copy !req
459. - OKAY,
NOW, THAT'S FUNNY.Copy !req
460. - YOUR CHEESE HEADS
ARE ON THE WAY.Copy !req
461. - OKAY, WHO HASN'T
SOLD AN ADD-ON YET?Copy !req
462. - MID AMERICA
NOVELTIES, HOW CAN I HELP YOU?Copy !req
463. - HELLO?Copy !req
464. HOW CAN I HELP YOU?Copy !req
465. - HELLO? HELLO!Copy !req
466. IS ANYONE THERE?Copy !req
467. HELLO!Copy !req
468. - HOW CAN I HELP YOU?Copy !req
469. - HI. YEAH, I'D LIKE TO ORDER
THE FAKE DOG POO.Copy !req
470. - WONDERFUL CHOICE.Copy !req
471. - YEAH, MY ROOMMATE'S REALLY
GETTING ON MY NERVES, YOU KNOW.Copy !req
472. I JUST WANNA FREAK HIM OUT.Copy !req
473. - IN THAT CASE,
COULD I ALSO INTEREST YOUCopy !req
474. IN OUR FAKE VOMIT ON PAGE 23,
LOWER LEFT HAND OF THE PAGE?Copy !req
475. - MM, I DON'T KNOW.
THIS VOMIT, DOES IT LOOK REAL?Copy !req
476. - WELL, IT MAKES ME SICK
TO LOOK AT IT.Copy !req
477. - HMM.Copy !req
478. OKAY. YEAH, SURE, FINE.
WHY NOT?Copy !req
479. I'LL GET THE VOMIT, TOO.Copy !req
480. - OKAY!Copy !req
481. I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT.
I KNEW IT.Copy !req
482. - WHY ARE PEOPLE CLAPPING?Copy !req
483. - OH,
GET THE CREDIT CARD INFO.Copy !req
484. - OH, SIR?Copy !req
485. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO PAY
FOR YOUR VOMIT AND YOUR POO?Copy !req
486. - SO YOU SURVIVED ANOTHER DAY.Copy !req
487. - YEAH.Copy !req
488. LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE STUCK
WITH ME FOR A WHILE.Copy !req
489. - I GUESS SO.Copy !req
490. - JUST FOR MORALE,
YOU KNOW?Copy !req
491. - GO FOR IT.
- YEAH.Copy !req
492. - OHH!Copy !req