1. PART 2Copy !req
2. This is the second timeCopy !req
3. your washed-out Stevie Wonder
ruins my show.Copy !req
4. Never seen this asshole before.Copy !req
5. All right, all right.Copy !req
6. Whatever happened
between the two of you is your problem.Copy !req
7. The only thing that matters now
is that the show must go on!Copy !req
8. - You always wanted to say that, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
9. Technically, he was supposed to go
before that anal polyp.Copy !req
10. No, technically,
he wasn't even on the list.Copy !req
11. What'd you say?Copy !req
12. We said we'd fix things, and we did.Copy !req
13. No, no, no, no, no.
The contest is almost over.Copy !req
14. You can't bring in anyone else.Copy !req
15. No, no. The contest was Alexis's idea.Copy !req
16. And it's not that
you're letting him in late,Copy !req
17. you've been preventing him
from taking part from the beginning.Copy !req
18. You chicken?Copy !req
19. Who's he talking to?Copy !req
20. - This hack who came to take my place.
- Gotta be you.Copy !req
21. Are you chicken?Copy !req
22. You're calling me chicken?
How old are you? Eight?Copy !req
23. Are you serious?Copy !req
24. Why are you scared of me then?Copy !req
25. A Chihuahua scares me more than you do.
Why should I be afraid of you?Copy !req
26. Because last time I whipped your butt.Copy !req
27. Pure beginner's luck, buddy.Copy !req
28. Yeah, favorite line of all sore losers.Copy !req
29. I'm not taking part in the contest
if this asshole's in it.Copy !req
30. No, come on!Copy !req
31. All right, I'll do it under one condition.Copy !req
32. I'm closing the show.Copy !req
33. We accept that,
only because we interrupted you.Copy !req
34. Well, you better get ready, buddy.Copy !req
35. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
36. Get out of here.Copy !req
37. What the fuck is going on?
What are you here with Lupita?Copy !req
38. You should ask her.
That's why we brought her along.Copy !req
39. I don't need you to take me.Copy !req
40. - We're in a hurry.
- And you're as fast as Usain Bolt.Copy !req
41. Okay, here we are. Here, stop.Copy !req
42. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
43. A surprise. Lupita!Copy !req
44. Isn't it, Chochito?Copy !req
45. I came to keep an eye on you. Ha!Copy !req
46. Now take a look at the mess you made.Copy !req
47. Two blind guys walk into a bar...Copy !req
48. Even Kardashians aren't that popular.Copy !req
49. Did you see the number of reposts?Copy !req
50. I came to shut you down,
but my good buddy Alex...Copy !req
51. Alexis.Copy !req
52. Alexis, my good friend Alexis,
almost moved me to tears.Copy !req
53. - Have you heard him speak?
- Uh, no.Copy !req
54. He speaks so well, I almost cried.Copy !req
55. Are you here to shut me down?Copy !req
56. Not if all goes well.Copy !req
57. This dude is gonna go on that stage
to do his routine and tell his jokes,Copy !req
58. and he's gonna get off safe and sound.Copy !req
59. Then he's gonna post a video sayingCopy !req
60. this place is "all-inclusant,"
or "inclusing," whatever,Copy !req
61. and all that kind of bullshit,Copy !req
62. and that's it, you're off the hook.Copy !req
63. Say what? It's that easy?Copy !req
64. - It's that easy.
- It's that easy.Copy !req
65. You better deliver, Chocho.
I don't like surprises.Copy !req
66. Go on, then! Get ready.
You're gonna bring the house down, huh?Copy !req
67. Eh?Copy !req
68. You don't always have to grab my arm.Copy !req
69. You're walking too slow
and sweating like a pig. Are you nervous?Copy !req
70. Wow, there he is.Copy !req
71. You ready, bro?
Remember, fear is your friend. Channel it.Copy !req
72. Fear is your friend. Channel it.Copy !req
73. Girlfriend Johanna calling.Copy !req
74. Girlfriend Johanna's calling?Copy !req
75. I forgot to change it.Copy !req
76. Why don't you just answer it?Copy !req
77. What about you? Why don't you
answer that dude who keeps calling?Copy !req
78. You gotta be fair. Come on!Copy !req
79. Well, it's... it's just Killer.
He wants me to go to the party. Whatever.Copy !req
80. Well, go. It's important to you, no?
This is just a joke contest.Copy !req
81. "Just a joke contest"?Copy !req
82. You don't have to stay
and take care of me.Copy !req
83. I'm not here to take care of you.
I'm here because it matters to you.Copy !req
84. I thought the party was important to you.Copy !req
85. I don't need anyone
to stop doing stuff because of me.Copy !req
86. Did someone put a diaper on the baby
so he doesn't pee all over the stage?Copy !req
87. What? You're still here?
I thought you'd have run for the hills.Copy !req
88. Wish I could say the same about you.Copy !req
89. That's a very good one.Copy !req
90. You should include that one
in your routine.Copy !req
91. That way at least one of your jokes
is original.Copy !req
92. That was a bad joke.Copy !req
93. But very clever for a retard.Copy !req
94. - Watch your fucking mouth!
- Watch it, fucker.Copy !req
95. Okay, let's get ready.Copy !req
96. For the hundredth time,
let go of my arm, for God's sake!Copy !req
97. - I don't need you!
- I love it!Copy !req
98. Two cripples fighting.
That's what I'm talking about.Copy !req
99. I'd be more than happy to kick your ass.Copy !req
100. But doing it on stage
will feel a lot sweeter.Copy !req
101. Hey, dude, you want us
to rough him up a bit?Copy !req
102. Okay. I know what's wrong.
You're very tense.Copy !req
103. - I am not!
- Yes, you're very tense.Copy !req
104. All right, here's a chair.
Now sit down, we're gonna concentrate.Copy !req
105. - The fuck was that?
- We're concentrating.Copy !req
106. - What was that?
- What was what?Copy !req
107. You think I take care of you?Copy !req
108. You guys need some privacy?Copy !req
109. - You don't have to take care of me.
- I know that! I'm not your baby sitter.Copy !req
110. I'm gonna stay, but pretend I'm not here.Copy !req
111. You know that's not what I meant.Copy !req
112. - You know what I'm talking about.
- No, I don't.Copy !req
113. About us being together.Copy !req
114. We are together.Copy !req
115. What about long term?Copy !req
116. Do you know it means
to live with a blind person,Copy !req
117. the broader implications?Copy !req
118. You better chill, dude. We just met
and hooked up a couple of times.Copy !req
119. I just wanna know
if you care that I'm blind.Copy !req
120. Having to help me out, do things for me.Copy !req
121. I just wanna know how long
before you run away.Copy !req
122. All right, we're very tense.
Let's take deep breaths.Copy !req
123. I don't give a shit that you're blind,Copy !req
124. but what does bother me is that
as soon as you're where you wanna be,Copy !req
125. you start playing the victim.Copy !req
126. - I'm coming in.
- Sure, make yourself at home.Copy !req
127. Listen, this contest
is gonna be decided tonight.Copy !req
128. All the other comedians,
well, they were pretty shitty.Copy !req
129. Thank you for making me feel important.Copy !req
130. In the end, the audience picks the winner
with their applause. Easy-peasy, okay?Copy !req
131. Bravo, an applause meter! All right!Copy !req
132. It's only the most important thing
I've ever done in my life.Copy !req
133. Hey, hey, hey! What did the star expect?
A special panel of judges? Come on.Copy !req
134. This is a joke contest
in a fourth-rate dive.Copy !req
135. The outcome is gonna be decided
by a bunch of drunken idiots.Copy !req
136. Let's get this over with.Copy !req
137. - Doesn't fucking matter, anyway.
- It matters to me.Copy !req
138. Knock, knock. Someone's here for Alexis.Copy !req
139. This is party central.
The more the merrier.Copy !req
140. - Alexis?
- Mom? What are you doing here?Copy !req
141. May we have a word in private?Copy !req
142. This room is the epitome of privacy.Copy !req
143. Come on in, Mrs. Lolis.Copy !req
144. I wanted to show you this.Copy !req
145. What is it?Copy !req
146. It's what I gave up for you.
These are a few photographs.Copy !req
147. Did you come here to bitch about
giving up your dreams for me?Copy !req
148. Sorry.Copy !req
149. What the hell do you want?Copy !req
150. - I'm here.
- Where's that?Copy !req
151. Right here. Can we talk?Copy !req
152. You wanna come in? What, is he...Copy !req
153. Tell him to come in.
There's still a spot on the ceiling.Copy !req
154. - Sorry.
- You going out?Copy !req
155. And just so you know,
I'm not running anywhere.Copy !req
156. And we haven't hooked up
just a couple of times!Copy !req
157. I mean, it's not like
we fuck all the time, Mom.Copy !req
158. Ugh, stinks!Copy !req
159. Listen... Listen, showtime's in 10 minutes.Copy !req
160. Sorry. It just slipped out.Copy !req
161. Ugh!Copy !req
162. Well, uh, if you'll excuse me.Copy !req
163. Very cool photos, huh?Copy !req
164. Thank you.Copy !req
165. I didn't give it up
because I had to take care of you.Copy !req
166. I stopped because...Copy !req
167. because I didn't know
how to share this with you.Copy !req
168. That is, until I found this photograph.Copy !req
169. You took this picture
when you were 12 years old.Copy !req
170. - I did?
- Yeah.Copy !req
171. You took the camera,
and without me telling you anything,Copy !req
172. you took this picture of me.Copy !req
173. At that moment I didn't understand,Copy !req
174. but now I realize that...Copy !req
175. the most important thing
isn't the content of what you see.Copy !req
176. It is the whole life energy
that surrounds it.Copy !req
177. Moments we share together,Copy !req
178. emotions we feel.Copy !req
179. That is how I'm able to share with youCopy !req
180. the images I capture,
the photographs I take.Copy !req
181. And now I'm here with youCopy !req
182. because I want you
to share with me what you want.Copy !req
183. Five minutes.Copy !req
184. Now it's your turn.Copy !req
185. Are you ready?Copy !req
186. I'm scared.Copy !req
187. Of what?Copy !req
188. Of being the dog that caught the car.Copy !req
189. No.Copy !req
190. Everything is going to be great, Alexis.Copy !req
191. You'll see.Copy !req
192. - Why are you taking care of a blind guy?
- Hey!Copy !req
193. That dude ain't worth jack shit!Copy !req
194. He'll hold you back.Copy !req
195. You've got so much fucking talent.Copy !req
196. Hey!Copy !req
197. Together, you and I, we could do so much.Copy !req
198. Shitloads... together.Copy !req
199. How many groupies did you score
while we were together?Copy !req
200. That counts for something, dude.Copy !req
201. I know very well I've got a lot of talent.Copy !req
202. I certainly don't need you
to introduce me to someoneCopy !req
203. who'll give me the chance of a lifetime.Copy !req
204. I'll find them on my own.Copy !req
205. That's enough. I've had it.
Stop hounding me.Copy !req
206. Fuckin' asshole.Copy !req
207. And I'm not his caretaker.Copy !req
208. We're together,
and I'm gonna be with him for a while.Copy !req
209. Got it?Copy !req
210. Five more minutes, bro.
What a shitty day, huh? Are you ready?Copy !req
211. - Alexis...
- What?Copy !req
212. - Are you ready?
- Yes.Copy !req
213. - What will you joke about?
- I don't know.Copy !req
214. What do you mean?Copy !req
215. You think I had time to write a routine?Copy !req
216. No, but you must have
a starting point, right?Copy !req
217. I'm gonna improvise. It's what I do.Copy !req
218. That's why it's good
to have a topic to start.Copy !req
219. What do you think I should start with?Copy !req
220. Alexis, you're blind.Copy !req
221. Everyone expects you
to joke about being blind.Copy !req
222. You've done well with that.Copy !req
223. I'm so fed up with that.
I'm not going there.Copy !req
224. That's what you are,
and you need to talk about yourself.Copy !req
225. Why does everything
have to revolve around that?Copy !req
226. I can do so many other things!Copy !req
227. I have no idea
what your mom talked to you aboutCopy !req
228. or what the problem is with Azul,Copy !req
229. but if this is an existential crisis,Copy !req
230. you couldn't have picked
a worse moment for it,Copy !req
231. because you're just about
to step on stage.Copy !req
232. Sure, easy for you to say.Copy !req
233. Easy for me to say?Copy !req
234. 'Cause everybody isn't staring at you.Copy !req
235. You think that's easy, asshole?Copy !req
236. That nobody gives a shit about me?Copy !req
237. That everybody abandons me?Copy !req
238. That nobody takes care of me?Copy !req
239. Half the people think I was hit by a car,Copy !req
240. and those who don't think
it was an accident,Copy !req
241. they think I'm an idiot!Copy !req
242. Poor little blind boy.Copy !req
243. You know how hard it is
to have to explain to every single personCopy !req
244. that I'm not dense,Copy !req
245. just because they don't have enough senseCopy !req
246. to pick up their stupid phone
and look up cerebral palsy?Copy !req
247. I dare you to repeat to my face
that it's easy for me.Copy !req
248. It's just...
Chocho is looking for Alexis because...Copy !req
249. Two minutes!Copy !req
250. Okay, okay, okay, okay.Copy !req
251. I don't know what you're gonna do or say.
Just don't screw it up, okay?Copy !req
252. Relax! It's just a joke contest
in a fourth-rate dive.Copy !req
253. That's not what I'm talking about
and you know it, asshole.Copy !req
254. Thank you for your patience,
ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
255. There was a last minute change
to our program this evening,Copy !req
256. as my dear friend Charly here
explained earlier.Copy !req
257. You know he used to be
my bouncer out there?Copy !req
258. Uh, no. Okay.Copy !req
259. Our second-to-last contestant
is a young man, um, who's... different.Copy !req
260. But before introducing him,
I'd like to stress,Copy !req
261. this establishment respects
every safety regulation,Copy !req
262. as required by the Civil Protection.Copy !req
263. Anyway, this, ladies and gentlemen...Copy !req
264. From Querétaro, a young man with a vision.Copy !req
265. Uh...Copy !req
266. He's a comedian with a unique look.
And here he is, ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
267. Give it up for Alexis Egg Eyes!Copy !req
268. Here. Mic's right here.Copy !req
269. There you go. Here.Copy !req
270. You laughed too soon, groupie girl!Copy !req
271. Good evening. How you doing?Copy !req
272. How you doing?Copy !req
273. Fine! Yeah! Great!Copy !req
274. Fine.Copy !req
275. I can see that.Copy !req
276. Wow, great start!Copy !req
277. Will you be spewing
blind jokes all night long? Hmm?Copy !req
278. What now, eh?
Oh, I know, I know, I know.Copy !req
279. You're gonna move the mic and say,Copy !req
280. "That's in the way. I can't see."Copy !req
281. Boy, great material.Copy !req
282. Shut up, jerk,Copy !req
283. or I'm gonna punch your ugly mug
and split that unibrow of yours.Copy !req
284. Your caregiver here
has better material than you.Copy !req
285. She is not my caregiver!Copy !req
286. When my mom gave birth,Copy !req
287. they turned off my lights.Copy !req
288. My lights were turned off.Copy !req
289. And, uh, my mom used to pawn everything.Copy !req
290. The television, the stove...Copy !req
291. My... My mom, she pawned everything.Copy !req
292. Don't tell me, she pawned your corneas.Copy !req
293. That's very original, eh?Copy !req
294. What next?Copy !req
295. Is this why you wanted
to get up there so bad?Copy !req
296. Boo!Copy !req
297. Chill out, everybody!
Come on, what's going on?Copy !req
298. This is the place of exploitation!Copy !req
299. We're going to shut it down.Copy !req
300. No more exploitation!Copy !req
301. No more exploitation!Copy !req
302. Hey, you!Copy !req
303. They're still exploiting the blind guy.Copy !req
304. What the fuck?Copy !req
305. Uh, what's going on?Copy !req
306. We're sick and tired of all this,Copy !req
307. and it's time for us to raise our voices!Copy !req
308. No more jokes about the disabled!Copy !req
309. Hey, we don't use
the word "disabled" anymore.Copy !req
310. It's way too offensive.Copy !req
311. They humiliated this disabled guy also.Copy !req
312. He was the bouncer. I saw it.Copy !req
313. Hey, he breeched his contract, okay?
I'm the victim here!Copy !req
314. People, the important thing is,
this place has to be shut down!Copy !req
315. - What?
- Yeah! You're normalizing offensive jokes.Copy !req
316. No, no, no,
I swear she's not laughing at that.Copy !req
317. All of you, are you aware of
what you're doing?Copy !req
318. You're humiliating the disabled
from your position of privilege,Copy !req
319. and that's wrong!Copy !req
320. Because even if they are disabled,
they have feelings, like human beings.Copy !req
321. Did you just say "like human beings,"
you piece of shit?Copy !req
322. I wanna get off!Copy !req
323. Wait!Copy !req
324. You okay?Copy !req
325. Gather round, guys!Copy !req
326. - Selfie?
- Selfie!Copy !req
327. - Hashtag...
- No to exploitation!Copy !req
328. Admiring the view?Copy !req
329. You're leaving?Copy !req
330. Uh, now that I think of it,
it's no big deal, really.Copy !req
331. You lost a joke contest
in a fourth-rate dive.Copy !req
332. And that's the problem.Copy !req
333. I fell before the finish line.Copy !req
334. That's how far I got.Copy !req
335. You literally fell on your face, bro.Copy !req
336. Is all this a joke to you?Copy !req
337. Oh, no, not at all.Copy !req
338. I've never been so serious
in my entire life.Copy !req
339. But you know what I think is a joke,
and a bad one at that?Copy !req
340. Like one of those you tried last night?Copy !req
341. You didn't make the slightest effort
to defend yourself.Copy !req
342. - Alexis, what happened to you?
- Nothing.Copy !req
343. What do you mean? You walked out
with your tail between your legs.Copy !req
344. Was it something I said?Copy !req
345. If it's what I said to you,
I'm really sorry.Copy !req
346. Things were really tense.
I didn't mean to hurt you.Copy !req
347. I'm not good at this.Copy !req
348. Well, then why are we here?Copy !req
349. I wanted to know
what was on the other side,Copy !req
350. and there's nothing for me.Copy !req
351. You got stage fright.Copy !req
352. Big deal.Copy !req
353. Anyway, who the hell cares
that you fell flat on your face?Copy !req
354. No one knows us here.Copy !req
355. - That's not it.
- What is it then?Copy !req
356. I'm the dog who doesn't know what to do
when he catches the car.Copy !req
357. Know what happened when he caught the car?Copy !req
358. Nothing. That's what you told me.Copy !req
359. He realized he couldn't do anything
and he came back.Copy !req
360. He came back to chase other cars.Copy !req
361. But I don't want to chase other cars.Copy !req
362. It was good while it lasted.
Now it's time to go back.Copy !req
363. Maybe for you, but not for me.Copy !req
364. So this is goodbye then?Copy !req
365. No, this isn't goodbye.Copy !req
366. It's a hasty retreat
because you're a coward, Alexis.Copy !req
367. Whatever.Copy !req
368. You pulled me out of a shithole,
didn't you?Copy !req
369. That's exactly what you said,
that you pulled me out of a shithole.Copy !req
370. Now you're leaving me in another shithole.
What kind of friend are you?Copy !req
371. A cowardly one. You said so yourself.Copy !req
372. My mom is waiting in the car,
if you wanna come along.Copy !req
373. I don't want to go!Copy !req
374. And you and your mom
can just go rot in hell!Copy !req
375. Fine.Copy !req
376. Come on.Copy !req
377. I sold my car for you!Copy !req
378. And you still owe me half the rent!Copy !req
379. Are you sure about this, Alexis?Copy !req
380. It's your dream, son.Copy !req
381. It was just a stumble.
Well, metaphorically speaking.Copy !req
382. Can we just leave?Copy !req
383. Yes.Copy !req
384. Hey.Copy !req
385. Hi.Copy !req
386. Well, I'll just wait in the car.Copy !req
387. Are you gonna tell me
that I'm a coward too?Copy !req
388. Um, no.Copy !req
389. - Guess I'm saying you the trouble then.
- Oh yeah?Copy !req
390. Looks like you're saving yourself trouble.Copy !req
391. After everything you said,
who's the one running away?Copy !req
392. What happened?Copy !req