1. Again.Copy !req
2. Okay, okay, Alexis.Copy !req
3. That's enough for today.Copy !req
4. He's making a lot of progress,
wouldn't you say?Copy !req
5. In my 40 years of teaching,Copy !req
6. I have never seen a child
dislike playing the piano so much.Copy !req
7. You can't force him.
If he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it.Copy !req
8. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
9. Well, I guess I'll see you next week.Copy !req
10. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
11. Don't listen to her, Alexis.Copy !req
12. You were born to be a pianist.Copy !req
13. I don't want to be a pianist.Copy !req
14. Why not?Copy !req
15. There are a lot of blind pianists,
and they do very well.Copy !req
16. Good for them,
but why can't I be what I want to be?Copy !req
17. And what would you like to be, Alexis?Copy !req
18. An actor, or a photographer.Copy !req
19. Photographer!Copy !req
20. Or I'd like to be a biker.
Can I ride a motorbike, Mommy?Copy !req
21. You can do whatever you want to do!Copy !req
22. You and I need to talk!Copy !req
23. He has to be able
to try things for himself!Copy !req
24. Eventually he'll realize
some things can't be done!Copy !req
25. NOTHING TO SEE HERECopy !req
26. Don't you think
there's something else we can do?Copy !req
27. What do you mean by that?Copy !req
28. I mean, something other than
always worrying about Alexis.Copy !req
29. How he's doing, what he's doing.Copy !req
30. Yuyo, if something's gonna happen,
it'll happen.Copy !req
31. You can't just stay here
and wait for it to happen.Copy !req
32. Actually, I'm waiting for it
not to happen.Copy !req
33. You can't spend your life
waiting to catch him if he falls.Copy !req
34. That's all I'm trying to say.Copy !req
35. Mmm, it's not him
who needs to learn to live without us.Copy !req
36. We're the ones who have to learn
to live without him.Copy !req
37. Hmm?Copy !req
38. How long has it beenCopy !req
39. since we've been able to do anything
that doesn't revolve around Alexis?Copy !req
40. - Hmm.
- Hmm?Copy !req
41. Let's seize the day, huh?Copy !req
42. Let's go and do some dumb touristy stuff.Copy !req
43. After, we'll stop by to see Alexis.Copy !req
44. Then we'll say our goodbyes,Copy !req
45. then we'll go back to Querétaro.Copy !req
46. We gotcha! Come on!Copy !req
47. Come on, come on!Copy !req
48. Pleasure to finally meet you, Lalo!Copy !req
49. No!Copy !req
50. - Here.
- Yeah.Copy !req
51. What's with people
stealing your crutches, dude?Copy !req
52. Hey, guys, don't you need
special license plates to park here?Copy !req
53. Look at us.Copy !req
54. Do you really think we need to provide
proof that we're disabled?Copy !req
55. Of course not! Don't worry.
Nothing's gonna happen.Copy !req
56. Hand one over.Copy !req
57. Here's one.Copy !req
58. - Thank you.
- There you go.Copy !req
59. Great.Copy !req
60. With this money in my pocket,
there's no room for my balls.Copy !req
61. I don't know why you wanted to withdraw
all your money from the bank.Copy !req
62. Remember, someone stole your wallet?Copy !req
63. Right, wasn't it some dude
who wanted Candy Flip up his ass?Copy !req
64. Okay, okay, I got it.Copy !req
65. I hear you. No need to relive it.Copy !req
66. Hmm. Here.Copy !req
67. Do you see your crutches?Copy !req
68. Not exactly.Copy !req
69. I see all the crutches that were ever made
since the first cripple walked the earth.Copy !req
70. If you could see,
you'd tear one of your legs offCopy !req
71. just to be able to use
one of these beauties.Copy !req
72. How you guys doing? How can I help you?Copy !req
73. Yes, I'm looking for some crutches.Copy !req
74. I had mine stolen last night.Copy !req
75. That's the only kind of crutches
we sell here.Copy !req
76. Stolen ones?Copy !req
77. - They're the best.
- What a scam!Copy !req
78. For every pair, there's someone
looking to replace their stolen ones?Copy !req
79. You know how it works.Copy !req
80. Over there,
the ones that are not so crooked.Copy !req
81. How much for those?Copy !req
82. Well, looks like you need to get
those special plates after all.Copy !req
83. Sorry.Copy !req
84. - Now get the fuck out!
- Get out!Copy !req
85. Take your shit with you!Copy !req
86. You've got one day
to come up with the cash, Lalo. One day!Copy !req
87. So what you're saying is,
we don't qualify as being disabled?Copy !req
88. That's exactly what I said.Copy !req
89. A blind guy and a cripple?Copy !req
90. Bureaucratically.Copy !req
91. You're not disabled bureaucratically.Copy !req
92. And how do we go about getting
special plates for disabled people?Copy !req
93. Right now?Copy !req
94. It's easier to get diplomatic plates
than plates for disabled people.Copy !req
95. They're a pain in the ass to process.Copy !req
96. Just pay your fine.Copy !req
97. You'll get back your rust bucket,Copy !req
98. then you can fill out
the paperwork for your plateCopy !req
99. so you don't get screwed again.Copy !req
100. Dude, we can't pay the fine.
We need the money to pay for the contest.Copy !req
101. But we don't even know
if he'll let you participate.Copy !req
102. - He will!
- Yeah, well, what about my car?Copy !req
103. Sorry, but it'll have to stay here.Copy !req
104. You serious?Copy !req
105. Who was the idiot who parked
in the disabled spot in the first place?Copy !req
106. That would have been a disabled idiot,Copy !req
107. who happened to be driving
another disabled idiot riding shotgun.Copy !req
108. I think you don't get it.Copy !req
109. You have to be bureaucratically disabled
to be allowed to park in a disabled spot!Copy !req
110. - Sorry for using all my savings...
- Calm down, both of you!Copy !req
111. to buy a car without special platesCopy !req
112. so I can drive you around
while you follow your dream, Your Majesty!Copy !req
113. Hmm, I get it.Copy !req
114. You want to recover your old shit box.
That's what matters.Copy !req
115. - Here's money! Pay the fucking fine!
- Oh, Alexis!Copy !req
116. - Don't be ridiculous!
- I don't want your money!Copy !req
117. I d... do want...Copy !req
118. your money.Copy !req
119. What the hell you doing, Lalo?Copy !req
120. - N...
- No? Who you trying to fool?Copy !req
121. Did you think
we wouldn't recognize you with that mask?Copy !req
122. Besides, that gun doesn't work.Copy !req
123. Oh. I think that one works.Copy !req
124. Guys, I think he's for real this time.Copy !req
125. I don't want to do this.Copy !req
126. But I really need the money.Copy !req
127. Now, Alexis. Hand it over.
I'll give him the money.Copy !req
128. S... Sorry, you guys.Copy !req
129. D... Don't look at me. Don't look at me.Copy !req
130. A serenade maybe, or something?Copy !req
131. Move!Copy !req
132. - I'm sorry!
- Yuyo, you okay?Copy !req
133. Yes, I'm fine.Copy !req
134. Your frog!Copy !req
135. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
136. - Come on.
- Was he coming from Alexis'?Copy !req
137. What's going on?Copy !req
138. Lalo just mugged us.Copy !req
139. He stole our money for the contest.Copy !req
140. - What? Where's that son of a bitch?
- No, hey, wait a sec!Copy !req
141. Did you guys sleep together?Copy !req
142. - What?
- Who?Copy !req
143. No, no, hang on!Copy !req
144. Who was that Neanderthal
who kicked Alexis' ass last night?Copy !req
145. - My ex-boyfriend.
- Ah!Copy !req
146. Jeez, bro, he sure did a number on you.Copy !req
147. Can we pick up where we left off?Copy !req
148. We're bringing him home immediately.Copy !req
149. No, no, no! If we do that,
he'll know we're following him.Copy !req
150. We can't just barge in.
We have to think things through.Copy !req
151. - I'm going to my room.
- You can go to hell.Copy !req
152. Enough, Alexis!Copy !req
153. Yeah, all right.Copy !req
154. I'm all right.Copy !req
155. Yuck!Copy !req
156. It was your idea! On his own for one day,
and look what happened!Copy !req
157. What happened is
he's now living like an adult.Copy !req
158. Living like an adult?Copy !req
159. Did you see the kind of people
he's hanging out with?Copy !req
160. Charly's a damn saint compared to them!Copy !req
161. We're staying here to look after him,
end of discussion!Copy !req
162. If you won't look out for our son, I will.Copy !req
163. Couldn't he mug someone else for a changeCopy !req
164. if he wants to pay
his mother's gambling debts?Copy !req
165. Well, without my help,
he can only mug people who are, you know...Copy !req
166. - Like us. Yeah.
- Besides, we all took a pledge.Copy !req
167. - Your program works wonders, Maya.
- Tell me about it!Copy !req
168. It breaks my heart!
Hurts like hell, I swear to you.Copy !req
169. I just wish Lalo had told us about it.
We would have found a way to help him out.Copy !req
170. Well, the good thing is,
the debt is paid off.Copy !req
171. But he owes us now.Copy !req
172. I still can't figure out how you two
ended up in bed together.Copy !req
173. - Hey!
- Ah, mind your own business, Charly!Copy !req
174. You're like a dog with a bone.
You just won't give up.Copy !req
175. One thing led to another. Happy now?Copy !req
176. It was the adrenaline, the moment.Copy !req
177. It was a mistake
that will never happen again, right?Copy !req
178. - Yeah.
- Okay. Okay.Copy !req
179. Yeah.Copy !req
180. - You sure?
- Hey.Copy !req
181. Didn't you have a car?
Why are we taking the subway?Copy !req
182. Nah, it wasn't my car. It was Killer's.
But I had to give it back to him.Copy !req
183. All right, so not only do we
have to convince the guyCopy !req
184. to let you enter the contest,Copy !req
185. but, now that you don't have any money,Copy !req
186. convince him to waive the registration fee
and let you do it for free?Copy !req
187. Yes, that's why we can't meet him
at La Perla.Copy !req
188. We have to catch him somewhere
where he feels vulnerable.Copy !req
189. And I know just the place
where he'll feel vulnerable.Copy !req
190. - Oh yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
191. You stole our idea.Copy !req
192. - What idea?
- The comedy contest.Copy !req
193. No idea what you're talking about.Copy !req
194. Let Alexis participate.
That's all we're asking.Copy !req
195. Sorry, blind people are
barred from entering.Copy !req
196. Yo, this is called discrimination.Copy !req
197. It's not discrimination,
it's a question of safety.Copy !req
198. He could fall off the stage.Copy !req
199. Unless, of course,
the blindness is temporary,Copy !req
200. due to the fact that, let's say,
he was pepper-sprayed.Copy !req
201. You're still mad about that?Copy !req
202. - Can you give us a minute please, honey?
- Of course.Copy !req
203. Make that two.Copy !req
204. I thought we were friends.Copy !req
205. Okay, Chocho.Copy !req
206. You're right, I lied to you.Copy !req
207. What matters is that I admit my mistake.Copy !req
208. Will you admit that you stole our idea?Copy !req
209. I was inspired by it.Copy !req
210. Good!Copy !req
211. And maybe, just maybe...Copy !req
212. to thank him
for having inspired you with his idea,Copy !req
213. you could consider
letting him participate, right?Copy !req
214. - I could consider it.
- Good!Copy !req
215. There's, um, just one little thing.Copy !req
216. - We're a bit short on cash.
- Ah!Copy !req
217. We just wanted to know if maybe...Copy !req
218. Maybe I could waive the registration fee?Copy !req
219. - You read my mind, dude.
- Now, you read mine.Copy !req
220. And I think you know the answer, huh?Copy !req
221. If you wanna be treated
like everyone else,Copy !req
222. you have to pay the 2,000 peso fee,
plus 2,000 for the bottles you broke.Copy !req
223. - That's 4,000!
- I'm sure we can negotiate somethingCopy !req
224. and come to some sort of agreement.Copy !req
225. I could be a barman.Copy !req
226. No. Not a barman.Copy !req
227. But I do have an idea.Copy !req
228. Ta-da!Copy !req
229. What is it?Copy !req
230. Find out for yourself, man.Copy !req
231. No way!Copy !req
232. I haven't even told you
what this is about yet.Copy !req
233. I'm not playing the damn piano.Copy !req
234. You just play
when the comedians get on and off stage.Copy !req
235. No!Copy !req
236. The contest is on Fridays and Saturdays,Copy !req
237. over three weekends,Copy !req
238. and it's a total of six days of work.Copy !req
239. That'll cover the stuff you broke,
plus the entry fee for the contest.Copy !req
240. And you get to keep tips.Copy !req
241. Now that I think about it,
it's not such a bad deal.Copy !req
242. Of course,
you wouldn't be looking like a fool.Copy !req
243. No worries, he will too.
I want both of you, or no deal.Copy !req
244. What am I going to do?Copy !req
245. A security guard?Copy !req
246. He thinks it's a funny way
to welcome patrons.Copy !req
247. Oh.Copy !req
248. Was that your involuntary laugh?Copy !req
249. No, it's a good joke.Copy !req
250. And you get to go on stage the last night?Copy !req
251. But think about it, Alexis.
You would have a huge advantage.Copy !req
252. You get to hear the other comedians,
study their jokes, analyze the audience.Copy !req
253. Come on! Mmm!Copy !req
254. We're not doing it.Copy !req
255. Maya has a good point.Copy !req
256. If you win the contest,
you could get your car back.Copy !req
257. Jimmy has a great point.Copy !req
258. Okay, there's just one detail
I'm not clear on.Copy !req
259. You're the one
who'll be collecting the tips. And you?Copy !req
260. Welcome to La Perla.
Would you like some candy?Copy !req
261. No, I'm good.Copy !req
262. Sorry, gotta do
a quick, routine body search.Copy !req
263. - Turn around, please.
- Oh, yeah, sure.Copy !req
264. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
265. Welcome to our first
stand-up comedy contest at La Perla!Copy !req
266. Remember, it's you, the audience,Copy !req
267. who will decide who will be the winner
of the 25,000 peso prize!Copy !req
268. That's right! Whoo!Copy !req
269. And now, without further ado,Copy !req
270. let me introduce
our first contestant for this evening.Copy !req
271. Please welcome
Tomás "The Walrus" Rodriguez.Copy !req
272. Hit that piano, Stevie!Copy !req
273. Tickle those ivories!Copy !req
274. Sorry, sir, I can't let you in.Copy !req
275. - I already told you...
- Quick, let's get in!Copy !req
276. - Hey, look!
- Where are they going?Copy !req
277. Hey, wait! Wait, wait! Sir!Copy !req
278. STAND-UP COMEDY CONTEST
$25,000-PESO PRIZE!Copy !req
279. Lalo!Copy !req
280. Lalo. Hey, come on.Copy !req
281. What's your problem?Copy !req
282. Sorry.Copy !req
283. And then, without missing a beat,Copy !req
284. I swear he said,Copy !req
285. "It was your granny!"Copy !req
286. Hey, man.Copy !req
287. Tomorrow's your last day.
How are you feeling?Copy !req
288. Fuckin' peachy.Copy !req
289. Hey, it won't be long now.
It'll be your turn to hit the stage.Copy !req
290. Are you really that good?Copy !req
291. I don't know.Copy !req
292. Well, you must believe
you have a chance of winning.Copy !req
293. Or else you wouldn't be doing all this.Copy !req
294. It's not about that.Copy !req
295. What is it about, then?Copy !req
296. You wouldn't get it, Chocho.Copy !req
297. Eh, by the way,Copy !req
298. they say that the next comedian
likes to, um... How should I say it?Copy !req
299. improvise with his audience, you know?Copy !req
300. That makes you an easy target.Copy !req
301. But don't worry, I told him
not to make jokes about blind people.Copy !req
302. I can't believe this shit.Copy !req
303. All right,
all right, all right, all right!Copy !req
304. Let's kick off the evening
with an old friend of this place. Ha!Copy !req
305. Let's give a warm welcome
to Sandro the Skinny!Copy !req
306. Take it away, Stevie!Copy !req
307. Yeah, thank you, everybody. Good evening.Copy !req
308. It's warm in here, isn't it?Copy !req
309. Well, first of all,
I was asked by my friend, Mr. Chocho,Copy !req
310. to avoid certain topics tonight,Copy !req
311. and not to tell jokes
about blind people, for instance,Copy !req
312. as to not disrespect our friend,
the musician.Copy !req
313. Because he made it very clear that...
he doesn't see what's so funny about it.Copy !req
314. All right, all right. For starters,
two blind guys walk into a bar.Copy !req
315. Blind guy number one
tells blind guy number two,Copy !req
316. "What's a blind guy doing in the desert?"Copy !req
317. I've had enough of this bullshit.Copy !req
318. No, no, man. Hey, come on, wait.
No, I mean it. Don't go.Copy !req
319. Hey, well, can I ask you something?Copy !req
320. How come your eyes look like
a couple of boiled eggs?Copy !req
321. Well, thing is, I was made upside-down.Copy !req
322. Upside-down?Copy !req
323. Yes.Copy !req
324. Wanna see where they put my eyes, asshole?
Lookie here!Copy !req
325. Hey, hey, we get the joke!Copy !req
326. No need to go all the way.
It's all good, man. Very funny.Copy !req
327. - Huh? Come on, people!
- How about that?Copy !req
328. Can't hear ya!Copy !req
329. A round of drinks on Sandro's tab.
Come on, lemme hear ya! That's the spirit!Copy !req
330. Good times.Copy !req
331. Hey, hey, where you going?Copy !req
332. - What happened?
- We had a deal!Copy !req
333. If you leave now,
you're not going on tomorrow.Copy !req
334. You and your stupid contest
can go fuck yourselves!Copy !req
335. All right, fine. Go.Copy !req
336. But... Chocho, wait!Copy !req
337. Don't say anything.Copy !req
338. I don't have time for another lecture.
I don't want to hear it.Copy !req
339. So, you don't want to hear
that he's letting you on stage tomorrow?Copy !req
340. - What?
- Yeah, I fixed your mess.Copy !req
341. You won't have to play
the keyboard anymore, either.Copy !req
342. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
343. Who's the best fuckin' friend
you could ever have?Copy !req
344. Dude, you rock! How'd you manage that?Copy !req
345. Well, I had to hash out
a bit of an exchange.Copy !req
346. - What exchange?
- Hmm.Copy !req
347. Right.
I paid off all the... all the fines.Copy !req
348. You having a stroke or what?Copy !req
349. Thing is, I had to pretend to be disabled
so they'd let me take the car out.Copy !req
350. All right. So then,
your fines total 8,000 pesos.Copy !req
351. - Mm-hmm.
- Plus 2,000 for the registration fee.Copy !req
352. - Okay.
- Plus 2,000 for the bottles you broke.Copy !req
353. What about the nights we worked?Copy !req
354. Uh-uh. There was
a breach of contract, buddy boy.Copy !req
355. You were supposed to work six nights
and you only worked five. Okay?Copy !req
356. - Whatever.
- So it adds up to?Copy !req
357. - Twelve.
- Twelve thousand pesos.Copy !req
358. I buy your heap of junk for 20 grand,
I owe you 8,000.Copy !req
359. Twenty? We said 25.Copy !req
360. That car is barely road-worthy.Copy !req
361. Didn't know that before.Copy !req
362. Here.Copy !req
363. Seven thousand, 8,000.Copy !req
364. There you go. Real pleasure
doing business with you, gentlemen.Copy !req
365. MEXICO CITY
PRIVATE TRANSPORTCopy !req
366. Hold on to me.Copy !req
367. I can give you guys a ride, if you want.
I'm picking up some lady friends.Copy !req
368. Anyway...Copy !req
369. I'll see you at La Perla.Copy !req
370. EXCLUSIVE - LA PERLACopy !req
371. Right, and, uh, do you have a stage name?Copy !req
372. Mmm...Copy !req
373. Alexis Egg Eyes.Copy !req
374. Good one. Yeah.Copy !req
375. - What's your dad doing here?
- My dad?Copy !req
376. Yeah.Copy !req
377. - How you doing?
- Why's he here with Civil Protection?Copy !req
378. Carmen, remove Alexis from the list.Copy !req
379. Why are you removing me from the line-up?Copy !req
380. I conducted an investigation
into this place,Copy !req
381. and are so many things
that aren't up to code. Am I right?Copy !req
382. You were in danger, my son.
I came to save you!Copy !req
383. Why can't you understand
that I don't need to be saved?Copy !req
384. After what I saw these past few days,
I'm sorry, but I cannot agree with you!Copy !req
385. Have you been spying on me?Copy !req
386. No, no, no.Copy !req
387. I told you I wanted to do this
with as little help possible!Copy !req
388. Alex... Alexis.Copy !req
389. Where are they going?Copy !req
390. Okay, well, I don't wanna have
anything to do with this. Catch!Copy !req
391. Why are you doing that?Copy !req
392. Your car is right outside.Copy !req
393. It's your car, I'm borrowing it.Copy !req
394. We're gonna solve this problem.Copy !req
395. Jimmy, put Alexis' name back on the board.Copy !req
396. - It's just that I don't write longhand.
- Uh, I'll do it.Copy !req
397. Alexis, wait. Stop! Wait a second!Copy !req
398. I failed.Copy !req
399. You couldn't even let me give it a shot.Copy !req
400. I just wanted you to have
a little bit of faith in me. Just a bit!Copy !req
401. What for?
Just so you can be a comedian?Copy !req
402. But why? Why do you want to tell jokes?Copy !req
403. Because I fuckin' feel like it!Copy !req
404. Since I was a kid, you've always said
I can't do this, can't do that.Copy !req
405. People are always telling me
I can't do anything.Copy !req
406. The problem is not me,
it's all of you guys.Copy !req
407. I'm fed up!
You can all go fuck yourselves!Copy !req
408. Watch out!Copy !req
409. Are you all right?Copy !req
410. - Are you okay? Huh?
- Mom?Copy !req
411. Are you spying on me too?Copy !req
412. You all right? You okay?Copy !req
413. - Get up. You're coming with me.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
414. Stop struggling!Copy !req
415. Let me go! No!Copy !req
416. - Yuyo, what are you doing?
- We're leaving. We're going to Querétaro.Copy !req
417. We're going home, that's the end of it!Copy !req
418. - What do you mean?
- I don't care. It's non-negotiable!Copy !req
419. - Let me out of the car! Let me out!
- I said no! No!Copy !req
420. - I wanna get out! Let me out!
- I said no!Copy !req
421. Alexis!Copy !req