1. Again.Copy !req
2. Okay, okay, Alexis.Copy !req
3. That's enough for today.Copy !req
4. He's making a lot of progress,
wouldn't you say?Copy !req
5. In my 40 years of teaching,Copy !req
6. I have never seen a child
dislike playing the piano so much.Copy !req
7. You can't force him.
If he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it.Copy !req
8. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
9. Well, I guess I'll see you next week.Copy !req
10. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
11. Don't listen to her, Alexis.Copy !req
12. You were born to be a pianist.Copy !req
13. I don't want to be a pianist.Copy !req
14. Why not?Copy !req
15. There are a lot of blind pianists,
and they do very well.Copy !req
16. Good for them,
but why can't I be what I want to be?Copy !req
17. And what would you like to be, Alexis?Copy !req
18. An actor, or a photographer.Copy !req
19. Photographer!Copy !req
20. Or I'd like to be a biker.
Can I ride a motorbike, Mommy?Copy !req
21. You can do whatever you want to do!Copy !req
22. You and I need to talk!Copy !req
23. He has to be able
to try things for himself!Copy !req
24. Eventually he'll realize
some things can't be done!Copy !req
25. Don't you think
there's something else we can do?Copy !req
26. What do you mean by that?Copy !req
27. I mean, something other than
always worrying about Alexis.Copy !req
28. How he's doing, what he's doing.Copy !req
29. Yuyo, if something's gonna happen,
it'll happen.Copy !req
30. You can't just stay here
and wait for it to happen.Copy !req
31. Actually, I'm waiting for it
not to happen.Copy !req
32. You can't spend your life
waiting to catch him if he falls.Copy !req
33. That's all I'm trying to say.Copy !req
34. Mmm, it's not him
who needs to learn to live without us.Copy !req
35. We're the ones who have to learn
to live without him.Copy !req
36. Hmm?Copy !req
37. How long has it beenCopy !req
38. since we've been able to do anything
that doesn't revolve around Alexis?Copy !req
39. - Hmm.
- Hmm?Copy !req
40. Let's seize the day, huh?Copy !req
41. Let's go and do some dumb touristy stuff.Copy !req
42. After, we'll stop by to see Alexis.Copy !req
43. Then we'll say our goodbyes,Copy !req
44. then we'll go back to Querétaro.Copy !req
45. We gotcha! Come on!Copy !req
46. Come on, come on!Copy !req
47. Pleasure to finally meet you, Lalo!Copy !req
48. No!Copy !req
49. - Here.
- Yeah.Copy !req
50. What's with people
stealing your crutches, dude?Copy !req
51. Hey, guys, don't you need
special license plates to park here?Copy !req
52. Look at us.Copy !req
53. Do you really think we need to provide
proof that we're disabled?Copy !req
54. Of course not! Don't worry.
Nothing's gonna happen.Copy !req
55. Hand one over.Copy !req
56. Here's one.Copy !req
57. - Thank you.
- There you go.Copy !req
58. Great.Copy !req
59. With this money in my pocket,
there's no room for my balls.Copy !req
60. I don't know why you wanted to withdraw
all your money from the bank.Copy !req
61. Remember, someone stole your wallet?Copy !req
62. Right, wasn't it some dude
who wanted Candy Flip up his ass?Copy !req
63. Okay, okay, I got it.Copy !req
64. I hear you. No need to relive it.Copy !req
65. Hmm. Here.Copy !req
66. Do you see your crutches?Copy !req
67. Not exactly.Copy !req
68. I see all the crutches that were ever made
since the first cripple walked the earth.Copy !req
69. If you could see,
you'd tear one of your legs offCopy !req
70. just to be able to use
one of these beauties.Copy !req
71. How you guys doing? How can I help you?Copy !req
72. Yes, I'm looking for some crutches.Copy !req
73. I had mine stolen last night.Copy !req
74. That's the only kind of crutches
we sell here.Copy !req
75. Stolen ones?Copy !req
76. - They're the best.
- What a scam!Copy !req
77. For every pair, there's someone
looking to replace their stolen ones?Copy !req
78. You know how it works.Copy !req
79. Over there,
the ones that are not so crooked.Copy !req
80. How much for those?Copy !req
81. Well, looks like you need to get
those special plates after all.Copy !req
82. Sorry.Copy !req
83. - Now get the fuck out!
- Get out!Copy !req
84. Take your shit with you!Copy !req
85. You've got one day
to come up with the cash, Lalo. One day!Copy !req
86. So what you're saying is,
we don't qualify as being disabled?Copy !req
87. That's exactly what I said.Copy !req
88. A blind guy and a cripple?Copy !req
89. Bureaucratically.Copy !req
90. You're not disabled bureaucratically.Copy !req
91. And how do we go about getting
special plates for disabled people?Copy !req
92. Right now?Copy !req
93. It's easier to get diplomatic plates
than plates for disabled people.Copy !req
94. They're a pain in the ass to process.Copy !req
95. Just pay your fine.Copy !req
96. You'll get back your rust bucket,Copy !req
97. then you can fill out
the paperwork for your plateCopy !req
98. so you don't get screwed again.Copy !req
99. Dude, we can't pay the fine.
We need the money to pay for the contest.Copy !req
100. But we don't even know
if he'll let you participate.Copy !req
101. - He will!
- Yeah, well, what about my car?Copy !req
102. Sorry, but it'll have to stay here.Copy !req
103. You serious?Copy !req
104. Who was the idiot who parked
in the disabled spot in the first place?Copy !req
105. That would have been a disabled idiot,Copy !req
106. who happened to be driving
another disabled idiot riding shotgun.Copy !req
107. I think you don't get it.Copy !req
108. You have to be bureaucratically disabled
to be allowed to park in a disabled spot!Copy !req
109. - Sorry for using all my savings...
- Calm down, both of you!Copy !req
110. to buy a car without special platesCopy !req
111. so I can drive you around
while you follow your dream, Your Majesty!Copy !req
112. Hmm, I get it.Copy !req
113. You want to recover your old shit box.
That's what matters.Copy !req
114. - Here's money! Pay the fucking fine!
- Oh, Alexis!Copy !req
115. - Don't be ridiculous!
- I don't want your money!Copy !req
116. I d... do want...Copy !req
117. your money.Copy !req
118. What the hell you doing, Lalo?Copy !req
119. - N...
- No? Who you trying to fool?Copy !req
120. Did you think
we wouldn't recognize you with that mask?Copy !req
121. Besides, that gun doesn't work.Copy !req
122. Oh. I think that one works.Copy !req
123. Guys, I think he's for real this time.Copy !req
124. I don't want to do this.Copy !req
125. But I really need the money.Copy !req
126. Now, Alexis. Hand it over.
I'll give him the money.Copy !req
127. S... Sorry, you guys.Copy !req
128. D... Don't look at me. Don't look at me.Copy !req
129. A serenade maybe, or something?Copy !req
130. Move!Copy !req
131. - I'm sorry!
- Yuyo, you okay?Copy !req
132. Yes, I'm fine.Copy !req
133. Your frog!Copy !req
134. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
135. - Come on.
- Was he coming from Alexis'?Copy !req
136. What's going on?Copy !req
137. Lalo just mugged us.Copy !req
138. He stole our money for the contest.Copy !req
139. - What? Where's that son of a bitch?
- No, hey, wait a sec!Copy !req
140. Did you guys sleep together?Copy !req
141. - What?
- Who?Copy !req
142. No, no, hang on!Copy !req
143. Who was that Neanderthal
who kicked Alexis' ass last night?Copy !req
144. - My ex-boyfriend.
- Ah!Copy !req
145. Jeez, bro, he sure did a number on you.Copy !req
146. Can we pick up where we left off?Copy !req
147. We're bringing him home immediately.Copy !req
148. No, no, no! If we do that,
he'll know we're following him.Copy !req
149. We can't just barge in.
We have to think things through.Copy !req
150. - I'm going to my room.
- You can go to hell.Copy !req
151. Enough, Alexis!Copy !req
152. Yeah, all right.Copy !req
153. I'm all right.Copy !req
154. Yuck!Copy !req
155. It was your idea! On his own for one day,
and look what happened!Copy !req
156. What happened is
he's now living like an adult.Copy !req
157. Living like an adult?Copy !req
158. Did you see the kind of people
he's hanging out with?Copy !req
159. Charly's a damn saint compared to them!Copy !req
160. We're staying here to look after him,
end of discussion!Copy !req
161. If you won't look out for our son, I will.Copy !req
162. Couldn't he mug someone else for a changeCopy !req
163. if he wants to pay
his mother's gambling debts?Copy !req
164. Well, without my help,
he can only mug people who are, you know...Copy !req
165. - Like us. Yeah.
- Besides, we all took a pledge.Copy !req
166. - Your program works wonders, Maya.
- Tell me about it!Copy !req
167. It breaks my heart!
Hurts like hell, I swear to you.Copy !req
168. I just wish Lalo had told us about it.
We would have found a way to help him out.Copy !req
169. Well, the good thing is,
the debt is paid off.Copy !req
170. But he owes us now.Copy !req
171. I still can't figure out how you two
ended up in bed together.Copy !req
172. - Hey!
- Ah, mind your own business, Charly!Copy !req
173. You're like a dog with a bone.
You just won't give up.Copy !req
174. One thing led to another. Happy now?Copy !req
175. It was the adrenaline, the moment.Copy !req
176. It was a mistake
that will never happen again, right?Copy !req
177. - Yeah.
- Okay. Okay.Copy !req
178. Yeah.Copy !req
179. - You sure?
- Hey.Copy !req
180. Didn't you have a car?
Why are we taking the subway?Copy !req
181. Nah, it wasn't my car. It was Killer's.
But I had to give it back to him.Copy !req
182. All right, so not only do we
have to convince the guyCopy !req
183. to let you enter the contest,Copy !req
184. but, now that you don't have any money,Copy !req
185. convince him to waive the registration fee
and let you do it for free?Copy !req
186. Yes, that's why we can't meet him
at La Perla.Copy !req
187. We have to catch him somewhere
where he feels vulnerable.Copy !req
188. And I know just the place
where he'll feel vulnerable.Copy !req
189. - Oh yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
190. You stole our idea.Copy !req
191. - What idea?
- The comedy contest.Copy !req
192. No idea what you're talking about.Copy !req
193. Let Alexis participate.
That's all we're asking.Copy !req
194. Sorry, blind people are
barred from entering.Copy !req
195. Yo, this is called discrimination.Copy !req
196. It's not discrimination,
it's a question of safety.Copy !req
197. He could fall off the stage.Copy !req
198. Unless, of course,
the blindness is temporary,Copy !req
199. due to the fact that, let's say,
he was pepper-sprayed.Copy !req
200. You're still mad about that?Copy !req
201. - Can you give us a minute please, honey?
- Of course.Copy !req
202. Make that two.Copy !req
203. I thought we were friends.Copy !req
204. Okay, Chocho.Copy !req
205. You're right, I lied to you.Copy !req
206. What matters is that I admit my mistake.Copy !req
207. Will you admit that you stole our idea?Copy !req
208. I was inspired by it.Copy !req
209. Good!Copy !req
210. And maybe, just maybe...Copy !req
211. to thank him
for having inspired you with his idea,Copy !req
212. you could consider
letting him participate, right?Copy !req
213. - I could consider it.
- Good!Copy !req
214. There's, um, just one little thing.Copy !req
215. - We're a bit short on cash.
- Ah!Copy !req
216. We just wanted to know if maybe...Copy !req
217. Maybe I could waive the registration fee?Copy !req
218. - You read my mind, dude.
- Now, you read mine.Copy !req
219. And I think you know the answer, huh?Copy !req
220. If you wanna be treated
like everyone else,Copy !req
221. you have to pay the 2,000 peso fee,
plus 2,000 for the bottles you broke.Copy !req
222. - That's 4,000!
- I'm sure we can negotiate somethingCopy !req
223. and come to some sort of agreement.Copy !req
224. I could be a barman.Copy !req
225. No. Not a barman.Copy !req
226. But I do have an idea.Copy !req
227. Ta-da!Copy !req
228. What is it?Copy !req
229. Find out for yourself, man.Copy !req
230. No way!Copy !req
231. I haven't even told you
what this is about yet.Copy !req
232. I'm not playing the damn piano.Copy !req
233. You just play
when the comedians get on and off stage.Copy !req
234. No!Copy !req
235. The contest is on Fridays and Saturdays,Copy !req
236. over three weekends,Copy !req
237. and it's a total of six days of work.Copy !req
238. That'll cover the stuff you broke,
plus the entry fee for the contest.Copy !req
239. And you get to keep tips.Copy !req
240. Now that I think about it,
it's not such a bad deal.Copy !req
241. Of course,
you wouldn't be looking like a fool.Copy !req
242. No worries, he will too.
I want both of you, or no deal.Copy !req
243. What am I going to do?Copy !req
244. A security guard?Copy !req
245. He thinks it's a funny way
to welcome patrons.Copy !req
246. Oh.Copy !req
247. Was that your involuntary laugh?Copy !req
248. No, it's a good joke.Copy !req
249. And you get to go on stage the last night?Copy !req
250. But think about it, Alexis.
You would have a huge advantage.Copy !req
251. You get to hear the other comedians,
study their jokes, analyze the audience.Copy !req
252. Come on! Mmm!Copy !req
253. We're not doing it.Copy !req
254. Maya has a good point.Copy !req
255. If you win the contest,
you could get your car back.Copy !req
256. Jimmy has a great point.Copy !req
257. Okay, there's just one detail
I'm not clear on.Copy !req
258. You're the one
who'll be collecting the tips. And you?Copy !req
259. Welcome to La Perla.
Would you like some candy?Copy !req
260. No, I'm good.Copy !req
261. Sorry, gotta do
a quick, routine body search.Copy !req
262. - Turn around, please.
- Oh, yeah, sure.Copy !req
263. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
264. Welcome to our first
stand-up comedy contest at La Perla!Copy !req
265. Remember, it's you, the audience,Copy !req
266. who will decide who will be the winner
of the 25,000 peso prize!Copy !req
267. That's right! Whoo!Copy !req
268. And now, without further ado,Copy !req
269. let me introduce
our first contestant for this evening.Copy !req
270. Please welcome
Tomás "The Walrus" Rodriguez.Copy !req
271. Hit that piano, Stevie!Copy !req
272. Tickle those ivories!Copy !req
273. Sorry, sir, I can't let you in.Copy !req
274. - I already told you...
- Quick, let's get in!Copy !req
275. - Hey, look!
- Where are they going?Copy !req
276. Hey, wait! Wait, wait! Sir!Copy !req
277. $25,000-PESO PRIZE!Copy !req
278. Lalo!Copy !req
279. Lalo. Hey, come on.Copy !req
280. What's your problem?Copy !req
281. Sorry.Copy !req
282. And then, without missing a beat,Copy !req
283. I swear he said,Copy !req
284. "It was your granny!"Copy !req
285. Hey, man.Copy !req
286. Tomorrow's your last day.
How are you feeling?Copy !req
287. Fuckin' peachy.Copy !req
288. Hey, it won't be long now.
It'll be your turn to hit the stage.Copy !req
289. Are you really that good?Copy !req
290. I don't know.Copy !req
291. Well, you must believe
you have a chance of winning.Copy !req
292. Or else you wouldn't be doing all this.Copy !req
293. It's not about that.Copy !req
294. What is it about, then?Copy !req
295. You wouldn't get it, Chocho.Copy !req
296. Eh, by the way,Copy !req
297. they say that the next comedian
likes to, um... How should I say it?Copy !req
298. improvise with his audience, you know?Copy !req
299. That makes you an easy target.Copy !req
300. But don't worry, I told him
not to make jokes about blind people.Copy !req
301. I can't believe this shit.Copy !req
302. All right,
all right, all right, all right!Copy !req
303. Let's kick off the evening
with an old friend of this place. Ha!Copy !req
304. Let's give a warm welcome
to Sandro the Skinny!Copy !req
305. Take it away, Stevie!Copy !req
306. Yeah, thank you, everybody. Good evening.Copy !req
307. It's warm in here, isn't it?Copy !req
308. Well, first of all,
I was asked by my friend, Mr. Chocho,Copy !req
309. to avoid certain topics tonight,Copy !req
310. and not to tell jokes
about blind people, for instance,Copy !req
311. as to not disrespect our friend,
the musician.Copy !req
312. Because he made it very clear that...
he doesn't see what's so funny about it.Copy !req
313. All right, all right. For starters,
two blind guys walk into a bar.Copy !req
314. Blind guy number one
tells blind guy number two,Copy !req
315. "What's a blind guy doing in the desert?"Copy !req
316. I've had enough of this bullshit.Copy !req
317. No, no, man. Hey, come on, wait.
No, I mean it. Don't go.Copy !req
318. Hey, well, can I ask you something?Copy !req
319. How come your eyes look like
a couple of boiled eggs?Copy !req
320. Well, thing is, I was made upside-down.Copy !req
321. Upside-down?Copy !req
322. Yes.Copy !req
323. Wanna see where they put my eyes, asshole?
Lookie here!Copy !req
324. Hey, hey, we get the joke!Copy !req
325. No need to go all the way.
It's all good, man. Very funny.Copy !req
326. - Huh? Come on, people!
- How about that?Copy !req
327. Can't hear ya!Copy !req
328. A round of drinks on Sandro's tab.
Come on, lemme hear ya! That's the spirit!Copy !req
329. Good times.Copy !req
330. Hey, hey, where you going?Copy !req
331. - What happened?
- We had a deal!Copy !req
332. If you leave now,
you're not going on tomorrow.Copy !req
333. You and your stupid contest
can go fuck yourselves!Copy !req
334. All right, fine. Go.Copy !req
335. But... Chocho, wait!Copy !req
336. Don't say anything.Copy !req
337. I don't have time for another lecture.
I don't want to hear it.Copy !req
338. So, you don't want to hear
that he's letting you on stage tomorrow?Copy !req
339. - What?
- Yeah, I fixed your mess.Copy !req
340. You won't have to play
the keyboard anymore, either.Copy !req
341. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
342. Who's the best fuckin' friend
you could ever have?Copy !req
343. Dude, you rock! How'd you manage that?Copy !req
344. Well, I had to hash out
a bit of an exchange.Copy !req
345. - What exchange?
- Hmm.Copy !req
346. Right.
I paid off all the... all the fines.Copy !req
347. You having a stroke or what?Copy !req
348. Thing is, I had to pretend to be disabled
so they'd let me take the car out.Copy !req
349. All right. So then,
your fines total 8,000 pesos.Copy !req
350. - Mm-hmm.
- Plus 2,000 for the registration fee.Copy !req
351. - Okay.
- Plus 2,000 for the bottles you broke.Copy !req
352. What about the nights we worked?Copy !req
353. Uh-uh. There was
a breach of contract, buddy boy.Copy !req
354. You were supposed to work six nights
and you only worked five. Okay?Copy !req
355. - Whatever.
- So it adds up to?Copy !req
356. - Twelve.
- Twelve thousand pesos.Copy !req
357. I buy your heap of junk for 20 grand,
I owe you 8,000.Copy !req
358. Twenty? We said 25.Copy !req
359. That car is barely road-worthy.Copy !req
360. Didn't know that before.Copy !req
361. Here.Copy !req
362. Seven thousand, 8,000.Copy !req
363. There you go. Real pleasure
doing business with you, gentlemen.Copy !req
364. Hold on to me.Copy !req
365. I can give you guys a ride, if you want.
I'm picking up some lady friends.Copy !req
366. Anyway...Copy !req
367. I'll see you at La Perla.Copy !req
368. Right, and, uh, do you have a stage name?Copy !req
369. Mmm...Copy !req
370. Alexis Egg Eyes.Copy !req
371. Good one. Yeah.Copy !req
372. - What's your dad doing here?
- My dad?Copy !req
373. Yeah.Copy !req
374. - How you doing?
- Why's he here with Civil Protection?Copy !req
375. Carmen, remove Alexis from the list.Copy !req
376. Why are you removing me from the line-up?Copy !req
377. I conducted an investigation
into this place,Copy !req
378. and are so many things
that aren't up to code. Am I right?Copy !req
379. You were in danger, my son.
I came to save you!Copy !req
380. Why can't you understand
that I don't need to be saved?Copy !req
381. After what I saw these past few days,
I'm sorry, but I cannot agree with you!Copy !req
382. Have you been spying on me?Copy !req
383. No, no, no.Copy !req
384. I told you I wanted to do this
with as little help possible!Copy !req
385. Alex... Alexis.Copy !req
386. Where are they going?Copy !req
387. Okay, well, I don't wanna have
anything to do with this. Catch!Copy !req
388. Why are you doing that?Copy !req
389. Your car is right outside.Copy !req
390. It's your car, I'm borrowing it.Copy !req
391. We're gonna solve this problem.Copy !req
392. Jimmy, put Alexis' name back on the board.Copy !req
393. - It's just that I don't write longhand.
- Uh, I'll do it.Copy !req
394. Alexis, wait. Stop! Wait a second!Copy !req
395. I failed.Copy !req
396. You couldn't even let me give it a shot.Copy !req
397. I just wanted you to have
a little bit of faith in me. Just a bit!Copy !req
398. What for?
Just so you can be a comedian?Copy !req
399. But why? Why do you want to tell jokes?Copy !req
400. Because I fuckin' feel like it!Copy !req
401. Since I was a kid, you've always said
I can't do this, can't do that.Copy !req
402. People are always telling me
I can't do anything.Copy !req
403. The problem is not me,
it's all of you guys.Copy !req
404. I'm fed up!
You can all go fuck yourselves!Copy !req
405. Watch out!Copy !req
406. Are you all right?Copy !req
407. - Are you okay? Huh?
- Mom?Copy !req
408. Are you spying on me too?Copy !req
409. You all right? You okay?Copy !req
410. - Get up. You're coming with me.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
411. Stop struggling!Copy !req
412. Let me go! No!Copy !req
413. - Yuyo, what are you doing?
- We're leaving. We're going to Querétaro.Copy !req
414. We're going home, that's the end of it!Copy !req
415. - What do you mean?
- I don't care. It's non-negotiable!Copy !req
416. - Let me out of the car! Let me out!
- I said no! No!Copy !req
417. - I wanna get out! Let me out!
- I said no!Copy !req
418. Alexis!Copy !req